Blue's Dumb History Tales #2

[@_TehTJ_]

>I have scoured far and wide, but mostly the Mediterranean... That’s the best description of Blue I’ve ever heard.

[@Kirbydudette333]

Lol

[@bordenfleetwood5773]

Heh. Yup. But props to him for knowing what he's about.

[@jeremiahcyrusbarut4372]

TehTJ I agree

[@crown4212]

Hey you got a heart!

[@jasonblalock4429]

And he even snuck in a picture of Il Duomo.

[@WillKrause21]

"How many casualties did you suffer in your watch, Lichtenstein guard?" "-1"

[@admiralrentableorb9844]

How did you manage that?

[@Cyrentic]

Officer: "What the heck do you mean by '-1'?"

[@wisemankugelmemicus1701]

@@Cyrentic "We came back with an extra man, Serjent!"

[@bordenfleetwood5773]

@@Cyrentic - Yeah, I have trouble believing that an officer would be sharp enough to read the report, see a happy number, and care beyond that point.

[@jaewok5G]

"he followed us home! can we keep him? please!!"

[@ihaveagun22]

"Sir, we gained a man while we were on guard today" "Shit, we can't afford the upkeep on another unit, disband it"

[@bookivoska9325]

"Crap. This enemy is clever. If we take on any more troops we'll be ruined. Just disband the army." "All eighty-one, sir?" "Yes, the whole army." "Wait, sir, I see someone approaching on the horizon. I think it might be another Italian. Perhaps, he is friendly?" "Quick, disperse! Disperse!"

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

@@bookivoska9325 Ahahaha got a good laugh out of me!

[@acebalistic1358]

Booki Voska actually the army was 82 soldiers and 18 reserves at the start, but the reserves were not called up and 2 men were assigned to guard the barracks

[@crystalwolcott4744]

When a City State gifts you a unit but you can't afford it anymore in Civ

[@ashurean]

this is literally just civilization

[@samofsparta5056]

My favorite moment of history is where the Roman emperor Caligula declared war on Neptune and commanded his legion to attack the water

[@mothiestman4995]

Didn't he do that cause his girlfriend the moon told him too? Or was my teacher exaggerating a bit? Gaius "Caligula" Ceaser was hands down my favorite emperor. What an actually mad lad.

[@joneelillard892]

Neptune*

[@yonatanhoresh2695]

@@mothiestman4995 That's rough buddy

[@jasonmoore7223]

I think that was a symbolic gesture to show mans powerlessness compared to the gods

[@dottie-ratcall614]

I AM THE SAND GOD POSEIDON QUIVERS BEFORE HIM

[@ragnarian]

a trule hilarious 'incident' was during WW1, a squad of australian troops in a trench were looking at a disabled german tank, it was doing anything, it was unmanned, just sitting there in no-mans-land....so they decided to steal it.....they succeeded!....its now the very last tank of that type in existence, all thanks to a squad of bored australians!

[@rodrigogascagomez5190]

The name is Mephisto, an A7V, and the meme doesn't end there, it was stuck in a shell crater and damaged by artillery, and was blown up by the Germans by mistake, instead of another, still functional but overturned tank, and the Australians nicked it after taking the German positions near it

[@adina4718]

wouldnt be the fist thing us aussies have done and if you think about it theves was what australia was built by it was originally a place to dump prisonor anyway

[@andysmith5806]

That’s not even close to the strangest thing we ever did. Heck, it wasn’t even the strangest thing we did during the wars. We went to war against giant birds and lost.

[@bananacat3109]

The Emu War is pretty funny. To be fair, the emus could take multiple bullets, and they only had three people fighting the emus.

[@whyareallmynamestaken1382]

Yeah that sounds like something we would do

[@rayanderson5797]

"How many men have returned?" "81, sir." "My God... How many did we send?" "80, sir." "I see... Wait, what?"

[@nathanielcatan6657]

That One Italian they found: Hello its a me Your new friend Lichtenstein Officer: WELCOME TO OUR COUNTRY FRIEND GLAD TO HAVE YOU

[@Nerukenshi1233]

@@nathanielcatan6657 later, an enemy army 81 strong: we out number you, surrender noob! General: say hello to my little fren!!!

[@paulgibbon5991]

In terms of casualties, the most successful army in history.

[@spamachuchan8824]

This is still my favorite story in history XD creates army, Army sees no battle, Army collects random Italian, Army then disbanded. Saying it this way really does make it sound like they disbanded the army just because they brought back a rando XD "You where asigned to protect the border, and instead you brought an Italian?"

[@KateCantDraw]

@@spamachuchan8824 it's like a guard dog bringing you cat "Your job is to protect, instead you bring me this *points to cat/Italian*, this *the cat/italian* is the opposite of your job" then the army was like "But can we keep ittttt" and you were like "WELL WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH IT?!?!?!?"

[@Enforcer6k]

"Alexander the Plot Armor" Quality meme.

[@randomcatmeow1394]

The original plot armour, Alexander was plot armour before it was cool

[@Sztefa001]

Noone's gonna mention Alexander the Rad or Alexander the Alexander? ;w;

[@iamkocka6457]

@@Sztefa001 I was just about to.

[@wildfire9280]

@@Sztefa001 I prefer Alexander the Swell. All the other ones just feel fake.

[@anonymousfellow8879]

Alexander the Plot Armor Alexander the Alexander Alexander the MEH?

[@artemis_smith]

"We need a casualty report, troops. How's the war going?" "Negative one, sir." "What, you mean one enemy killed? Well at least you guys are all right." "No sir, what we mean is, we picked up a recruit, some italian guy." "Y'all... went to war... and are coming back... with more troops?" "Yes sir!" "...excellent work, gentlemen."

[@carbonmonteroy]

I have not touched the like button because 81 likes is perfect.

[@themockingdragon135]

@@carbonmonteroy it's now 180 likes by the time of my writing.

[@alexr5118]

s t o n k s

[@DISTurbedwaffle918]

Decisive Liechtensteiner victory.

[@artemis_smith]

@@DISTurbedwaffle918 truly those men were Liechtenstein's finest.

[@iulianju7893]

So basically the Romans pulled a 'Nah, you're Indians' on the Greek, Neat.

[@skywindow6764]

Probably, (we) Hellenes did the same on the actual Indians, too! The country's name is or was Bharata? And even the river Indus's name, isn't it Sindu?

[@boboblacksheep5003]

He's talking about the Americas. Funny how we have West Indies and Red Indians are in the Americas.

[@valeryasteel4167]

To top it off, some other culture pulled a "nah you're Indians" from the east as well so Greece has 2 different names none of it is what it calls itself

[@jokhard8137]

Don't forget the Islamic world calls the Greeks Ionians! :P

[@talscorner3696]

I think it's more likely they went "Oh, we've been calling that for ages, we'll continue because that's what we've done so far domestically and telling everybody would be, uhm, well, long." Kinda like you use "Deutsch" when you speak German, but "German" when you speak English. You could use "Deutsch" even when speaking in English or any other language, but then the person you're speaking to wouldn't understand unless they know German, too.

[@nightmarefuel8215]

"Alright, we need a report general" "we came back with negative one casualties and out-swissed the swiss. all in all, a fantastic summer camp" "I see...wait, what"

[@longshot9757]

Oh, how this gets me.

[@agustinvenegas5238]

"The historical memes are, quite literally, the friends we made along the way " omg im rolling

[@nobodyimportant130]

Walpole

[@rename2857]

Actually lost my shit when I heard that lmfao

[@commander31able60]

anyone: how good is Greece? a Greek: Hella.

[@Punaparta]

What was post-Macedonian Middle East like? Hella nice.

[@MrZylix-6]

This woulda been so much better in relation to Norse mythology :)

[@njtriant]

We call it Ellada, or in its more official term "Ellas"

[@theinimitablejora522]

It's really "Hellatha" or "Hellada", but I forgive Blue for his minor mistake.

[@rbck8826]

@@MrZylix-6 no, because she is named Hel.

[@state_song_xprt]

4:15 Alexander, who was personally tutored by Aristotole, definately knew that the Earth is round and must have been very frustrated that he couldn't seem to get this across to his army.

[@jmurray1110]

yeah we can't get through tp them now and space ships and google earth exist how bad do you thinl it was for him

[@mjbull5156]

I think his army was more "whatever, we want to go home".

[@WolfJustWolf]

They had been going on for 10 years. The troops were tired and wanted to go home. Alexander didn't. So he made a sacrifice to the gods, and claimed to receive a bad omen, stating that as the reason to go home. That allowed him to save face.

[@louisvictor3473]

@@jmurray1110 probably less. Part of the reason we have it this bad today is a combo of culture and technology that superchargers bubbles. Back in the middle ages, for examle, you had a culture of deferring to the church or other "betters" and they say its round, and they didn't platform the 4 or so lunatic writers saying it was flat. Not tht most people could even read them. Today, some people memed too hard and there was nothing to stop idiots from taking it seriously and entrenching themselves.

[@lifeontheledgerlines8394]

@@louisvictor3473 "Today, some people memed too hard and there was nothing to stop idiots from taking it seriously" That was such a beautiful and disturbingly accurate quote lol

[@bookivoska9325]

Lichtenstein: "War of Independence: negative one casualties." "I think I have perfected my military stratagem. Time to move on to another project. Disband the army!" "War. Really, I don't see what all the fuss is about."

[@pRahvi0]

They knew they had got a record they wouldn't beat, so they decided to quit on the top.

[@blueteller]

@@pRahvi0 True, so true, you gotta respect that

[@wyattlohr8199]

@@pRahvi0 but what if they got 2 more people the next time?

[@FFKonoko]

@@wyattlohr8199 sounds like a gamblers logic. Leads to sinking costs, chasing the next improbable and unlikely success...

[@mickey4125]

@@FFKonoko Damn, that's some wisdom

[@lunaequinox7333]

The story of Lichtenstein's army is one of my favorite stories of all time. Nothing will ever be as epic to me as an army having -1 casualties

[@TheWitchSoup]

have another Switzerland/Lichtenstein Meme: A small troop of Swiss Soldiers, part of training or something, accidentally marched right into Lichtenstein bc the General in charge didn't realize they had crossed the country border. As this is technically an act of war the General (or the Military itself, I forget) had to write Lichtenstein a formal apology. That was the end of the story bc Lichtenstein and Switzerland have all the chill.

[@1r587]

Another one: 75 militamen and a few horses ended up in a Lichtenstein town after taking a wrong turn. Instead of getting angry, the Lichtensteiners reportedly offered the militiamen drinks.

[@fantasyshadows3207]

If our world was run by these chill people we probably achieved world peace

[@blueteller]

I'm slowly falling in love with these guys, even though I've never met one of them in my life....

[@nietname2468]

Except it wasn't a General because switzerland only has one during crises. But yeah we swiss have a wierd issue with our military and Lichtenstein.

[@laurakastrup]

Sometimes i need to point out that the Swiss had no chill and thats why everyone basically agreed on leaving them alone, because Swiss mercenaries served everyone. and also guarded the kings of europe, can you see why they left Switzerland alone? if you value your monarch you probably don't attack the one place said monarch's guards come from

[@l.r.m.8508]

Alexander the Great: sees land Alexander the Great: a fine addition to my collection

[@warrcoww6717]

Darius: If we can just make it past the Zagros Mountains he won’t follow Alexander the Plot Armor: Hello there!

[@evies.1018]

“Hello there!” “General Alexander!!”

[@itar10n]

It's free real estate!

[@Triumph263]

Flat Earthers: I'm about to end this mans whole career.

[@nathanielranney9163]

@@evies.1018 "You are a bold one."

[@bucketorandomness9383]

Blue: They stationed 80 guys in this one pass, and... Me: IS THIS THE ONE WHERE THEY MAKE A FRIEND?! Blue: They came back with 81! Because they made a friend! Me: HECK YES I KNEW IT!

[@fedemedina3129]

THAT WAS MY REACTION DUDE

[@jaewok5G]

as opposed to all of the other lichtenstein wars?

[@carmacksanderson3937]

I figured out it was coming a bit before that, but my reaction was exactly the same :D

[@jealyn6353]

right! I was like "oh wait I know this story!"

[@bucketorandomness9383]

@Bored Again Yes. I am the epitome of cringe. Thank you for this wonderful badge of honor. I shall show it to my mother and all my neighbors so they can all be as proud of me as I am in this moment!

[@starlightfrontier2218]

Have you covered Teddy Roosevelt getting shot, and then casually scolding the shooter while he continued to give his 2 hour speech?

[@j.p.sumando56]

I think the reason why he didnt cover it, is because of his field in history, he tends to not cover topics beyond the 1700s.

[@Grim_Sister]

If you need Teddy Roosevelt in this, you’re not playing fair. Teddy was a real life Chuck Norris. The only reason we tell Chuck Norris jokes is so Ted can finally Rest In Peace

[@FFKonoko]

@@Grim_Sister Chuck wishes he was Teddy.

[@Grim_Sister]

@@FFKonoko I theorize that Teddy inspired every badass in the past century. Prove me wrong

[@D00000T]

@@j.p.sumando56 that’s a good way of keeping politics that still gets into modern day out of the history videos

[@MrRemicas]

"Actually I'm from Athens." "Sparta." "Eh, sounds Greek to me."

[@henrypaleveda7760]

"it's Greek to me"

[@FFKonoko]

@@henrypaleveda7760 "it's all Greek to me", which is remarkably close to the Roman approach...

[@SunsetShadows]

Red: I lost my friend Blue to his terrible illness Blue: Quit telling everyone i'm dead! Red: Sometimes I can still hear his voice Blue: Why are you so evil! Red/Bane: I am necessary evil!

[@lifeontheledgerlines8394]

Aren't you going to wash your hands? (Man, that quote takes on a whole new life with the coronavirus lol) No, 'cause I'm evil.

[@l.lproductions3928]

he did cough a lot not goona lie and its jan 3 where the madnnes that is 2020 is just starting

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@l.lproductions3928 hi; it probably won't stop with new year's eve but hopefully it will slow down.

[@Khookies-lp2lu]

@@l.lproductions3928 nah, in his last video of the year or in the first video of the year he's just always sick, I've watched long enough to notice

[@yerdasellsavon9232]

Did she say that?

[@thomasedgerley7453]

Blue: "a delicious tea" The British in a Darth Sidious voice: "good...."

[@henrypaleveda7760]

Blue: "Imperialism" The English: "hello there"

[@RF-mc8cx]

"Lovable disasters" - the Olympians in a nutshell.

[@zeatna]

Except for Zeus

[@RF-mc8cx]

@Nina Marlies I'm not sure if you're implying that Zeus is not a disaster, which doesn't make sense, or that Zeus is not loveable, which makes perfect sense.

[@hound89]

@@zeatna especially zeus

[@zeatna]

@@RF-mc8cx I am implying that Zeus is not loveable. A disaster, yes, but not a lovable one.

[@chibi-chan389]

See this is why I have an unholy obsession with Lichtenstein, they're the capybara of europe They're both friend shaped.

[@ScarletCharlotte]

This is my favourite comment on all of KZbin.

[@Padtedesco]

Living in the lands of Capybaras i really didnt catch what the comment means.

[@laurakastrup]

I have been to Lichtenstein You know. Trying to navigate on a motorcycle through the alps isn’t easy but it was pretty. Very pretty. I did just vibe in Lichtenstein for a week because what else to do

[@D00000T]

@@laurakastrup yeah there’s a reason why the alps are a popular mountain biking location

[@yougotthecrowbar]

Lichtenstein commander: we can't just bring someone back with us, we're an army, not a convy. Lichtenstein soldiers: you don't have all the facts. LC: which are? LS: I love him.

[@christopherg2347]

Liechtenstein: "So that last time we deployed our army we got back more men then we started with. I think we are done with that whole army thing."

[@kereminde]

"Ah, good, -1 casualties. We win." "Win what?" "History."

[@Grumplebumple]

@@kereminde they won a friend

[@SingingSealRiana]

Yeah the only people invading there are from switzerland and it was by acidant 3 times

[@spamachuchan8824]

Honestly I'd prefer a war where no death happens, and countries just bring home friends. I like this Army's math.

[@christopherg2347]

@@SingingSealRiana After the 2nd time, I would start doubting the accident excuse 😊

[@postmodernguava9518]

*[Mentions the Medici family]* *[Immediate coughing fit]*

[@Foogi9000]

Same thing happens to me when i try to look at the Ptolemy family tree ngl.

[@deayyea]

I had the exact same reaction cuz I get excited whenever someone mentions the Medicis. I have an unhealthy obsession with them.

[@mobgabriel1767]

A true fan of Machiavelli XD

[@pridelander06]

"General Alexander, we do not wish to continue into India." "We must conquer India. Blue needs tea."

[@raymondhamill8421]

Some random Macedonian soldier thinking, whose Blue?

[@Grim_Sister]

More like, what’s a blue. The name for the color wasn’t invented yet.

[@EzraColdsGarage]

So when I tell my friends "I'll have time to travel more when I'm dead" I'm being quite literal.

[@deborahuwu6155]

Alexander the great: *sees land* also Alexander: hIpPiTtY HoPpiTy tHis Is nOW mY PrOpeRTy

[@Khookies-lp2lu]

"hipper hopper, you are now named Alexander"

[@wayneigoe6722]

A king... Must be greedier than any other. He must laugh more loudly, and rage for much longer... He must embody the very extremes of all things good and evil! Its why his retainers envy his very existence, and adore him as well. Its why the fire of aspiration can burn within his people... to be just as the king is! - Iskandar (Fate/Zero)

[@Ye-Hu]

Me: How *THE HELL* did you survive WWI and WWII? Lichtenstein: So basically i'm *very smol*

[@kenblaire3043]

*small

[@taiwoolagunju9289]

*Laughs in switszerland*

[@kenblaire3043]

Taiwo Olagunju you cant laugh in a language it sounds the same no matter what

[@BonaparteBardithion]

@@kenblaire3043 Anime villians would like a word with you.

[@kenblaire3043]

BonaparteBardithion lol

[@vinylQT]

*" I know very well that you're all just here for the memes"* He knows...

[@comradebusman3]

Blue: Lichtenstein me: HE BETTER TALK ABOUT THE FRIEND STORY- YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@nrm8831]

Cuz a country that small only has 1 story lol

[@Crosshill]

how bout the witches, we need fresh new memes and arbitrary triggerhappy witch accusations could suit this era well

[@comradebusman3]

@@nrm8831 true

[@lavenderotaku2481]

Lietchenstien: **Casually declares nutrality** Austria: I don’t care. Rando-Italian guy: Hey!! Wanna be friends? Liechtenstein: Sure! Switzerland: HOW TF.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Switzerland invaded Lichtenstein 3, acidantly ^^

[@Technotoadnotafrog]

anywhere that isn't his yet: (exists) Alexander: it's free real estate

[@f.a.s.1746]

“oh delicious tea- Jesus” Victorian England be like

[@Striker2054]

I love that he left it in the "Bloopers of History" reel.

[@andrewrawlings5220]

Blue has the Consumption!

[@q345ify]

@@andrewrawlings5220 NO, NOT VICTORIAN FAINTING LADY DISEASE!!!!!!

[@yeethittter1285]

(Sigh) Victorians, amiright?

[@annacalcaterra]

army: it go down alexander: it don't go down army: alex it go down alexander: no it don't army: IT DO GO DOWN

[@honest_bishop5905]

What?

[@arandomcomment1092]

@@honest_bishop5905 It's a meme, don't question the meme

[@honest_bishop5905]

@@arandomcomment1092 am I a boomer now? I no longer understand internet humour.

[@DeSaxofoonVanPeter]

@@honest_bishop5905 look up 'robert it goes down'

[@arandomcomment1092]

@@honest_bishop5905 dude... I was just being sarcastic, kidding.

[@aarongerard7277]

Lichtenstein: The only country to ever be invaded (accidentally) by the Swiss.

[@vinx.909]

apparently more then once.

[@winterpyro98]

"...proceeding to out Switzerland even the Swiss..." Ohhh...so that's why Switzerland invaded Lichtenstein 3 different times

[@thepip3599]

Weren’t those times all accidents? I seem to remember that being a thing.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Realy

[@regretsin8502]

Yea the military got lost while on a march like 3 times and accidentally shot a mortar shell at them once.

[@regretsin8502]

That’s what happens when your military consists entirely of 18 and 19 year olds

[@funnyvalentinedidnothingwrong]

@@regretsin8502 I'd hate to be the commanding officer on that one. "So, how was the march? Anything interesting happen?" 'Oh no, not really. Except... Nah.' "Except what?" 'We uh...kinda...sorta... accidentally mortared Lichtenstein' "HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY-"

[@almond_orchid8185]

Me: Was EVERYTHING named after this dude??? *my best friend walks in* Me: oh, hey Alexandria! Me: wAiT

[@nritsch]

katherine reeves kroff As you say this, I think of my best friend. Alexia...

[@wyattlohr8199]

@@nritsch OH GOD ITS SPREADING!

[@littlejelly4698]

My sisters name is Alexa... 😳

[@slipperyfish]

Apparently he'd been to Scotland too, cuz guess where I'm from...

[@The-kr9rb]

to me it sounds like Alexander was just playing the long game. he named the cities after himself, soon all of humanity will be named after him

[@grass4655]

His name is now “Alexander the Plot Armour.” it just is

[@bucketorandomness9383]

Honestly, though, some of my favorite replays are trying to figure out how many different titles Blue can come up with for Alexander the Rad

[@taiga738]

And yet it didn't save him from malaria. I know Blue claimed it was alcohol poisoning but that just doesn't line up with the many days of illness that preceded his death.

[@Lablass-]

The sheer amount "aaawwww! They made a friend" feeling in my heart during the Liechtenstein story, honesty made my day. Who knew you could out Swiss, Switzerland. Huh.....

[@KTChamberlain]

Rome: "You're name is Graecia! You're going to learn to say it!" Hellas: "Hellas" Rome whips the country with invasion and war Rome: "Your name is Graecia! Say it!" Hellas: "Greece." Rome: "Eh, close enough."

[@danielb270]

English is not my first language, but I believe "Grec" and "Grek"' should sound the same and thus "Graecia" should sound like "Grek" with "ae" sound instead of "e" and "ia" at the end, but you (English speakers) pronounce "c" based on the context which completely screwed up the word. btw, in Russian (where the alphabet is based on Byzantine alphabet) words for Greece and Greek are "Gretziya" and "Grek" which is I believe is closer to the Roman transcription than if you just to try to read Roman words with English phonetic rules.

[@Sovairu]

@@danielb270 You don't know anything about English linguistic history. Good for you for making assumptions about things outside of your knowledge.

[@hyacinthlover9370]

But Graecia is just Latin, in fact in Italian it’s still called « Grecia » , Greece is the English word obviously, and since the Es and Cs are pronounced differently (like the first comment under this comment said) this would also end up changing the way the word is pronounced It’s the case of where everyone calls the country one way except the country itself, i forgot the exact word for it, (one famous example is japan-)

[@DISTurbedwaffle918]

@@danielb270 In the original Latin, it (the C) would be pronounced like a K. However, as Latin evolved through the ages, any C preceding the letters E or I (and the dipthong Æ) softened, and the way it softened varies by which part of Western Rome you're in - S in Franco-British and Spanish lands and a CH in Italy for example. Thus, the early English would probably look like Græcia, but be pronounced 'Græsia,' eventually becoming simply 'Greece,' for convenience.

[@Sovairu]

@@hyacinthlover9370 Do you mean the differences between an exonym (named from an outside source) vs. an endonym (named from an internal source)? If so, then yes, names like Graecia, Grecia, and Greece are exonyms, while Hellas, and modern Elláda, are endonyms. And yeah, this sort of phenomenon does happen a lot.

[@AnAverageGoblin]

"Pope said it's my turn on the Dante Bones"

[@yoda0017]

"Casually misplaced for a century." Amazing.

[@davidegaruti2582]

TL;DW: 1)Dante's bizzarre adventures : Ravenna is umbreakable 2)TIME TO not CONQUER ALL OF INDIA 3)how I named your mother(land) Rome edition 4) Lichtenstein and the power of friendship

[@seneca983]

Awesome!

[@sord3377]

"Hey boss, we're back from our deployment!" "Okay just tell me how many people you had to lose and how many people got hurt." "Negative one." "Nega-hummina what?"

[@josephattwell1006]

4:27 Additional note: When Alexander turned around and started the trek home, he made his army go through one of the most desolate deserts on Earth, most likely as punishment for the army's refusal to cross the Indus valley river.

[@QuiroLeonarth]

Actually it's more because he wanted to check the southern coast of Persia to eventually build ports and so prepare his next campaign to Arabia.

[@assassintwinat8]

"Well since y'all hate water so much..."

[@Broadpaw_Fox]

@@assassintwinat8 - I can just hear this being said in a drill instructor tone of voice... well played. ;)

[@lifeontheledgerlines8394]

Alex-sand-er the "is coarse and rough and irritating and gets everywhere"

[@AD3PTUZ]

Italian: wonders into Lichtenstein Lichtenstein: WOLOLO

[@BallerinaValkyrie]

Don't forget the times Switzerland ACCIDENTALLY invaded Liechtenstein because some new troops got lost (this happened multiple times. Only shrugs were given.)

[@fablion6324]

“Hans! We made a friend can we keep him?l “Ugh FINE but you’ll have to feed him”

[@ravenanimations3176]

All Alexanders Alexander the Rad: Good with spears Alexander the Alexander: Good at naming things after himself Alexander the Plot Armor: Good at surviving Alexander the Cool King: Will throw back a couple of beers with the boys Alexander the Not Yet Aware of how Globes Work: Flat earther

[@nicolaiadams4133]

Raven Animations my favorite Alexander, Alexander the pretty okay

[@ravenanimations3176]

He’s a pretty fine Alexander

[@空夜-x7n]

The Adequate Alexander

[@derronmendel9650]

Alexander the Not Especially Studious was always more interested in conquering Persia than learning philosophy.

[@HovektheArtist]

I always love alexander the not GREAT great, but pretty alright, followed by alexander the ehhh pretty good....I'd say 6/10

[@breenaj1095]

I love this! One point though, Hellas isn't from Helen of Troy. It's actually from Hellen, the first son of Pyrrha and Deucalion. And they were basically the greek equivalent of Noah and his ark; there was a flood, Prometheus told his son, Deucalion, to prepare, then they repopulated the earth.

[@Vaso2209]

That is true. Also, when Deucalion and Pyrrha were trying to repopulate the earth, they walked threw rocks behind them. Each rock thrown by Deucalion became a man, each rock thrown by Pyrrha became a woman. They were called Graeci (Γραικοί) but were later called Hellenes (Έλληνες) after Hellen (Ελλην), one of the couple's sons (others were Aeolus, Ion and Doriaeus).

[@wab2100]

@@Vaso2209 Yeah, but that kinda seems like a legend created after the fact. You know to justify unity between the Greek people. Like, "Hey you know all the different kinds of Greek people we have, Ionians, Dorians, Aeoleans they are totally from the same family, I swear". Seems more logical that the names came first and then people tried to tie them all together.

[@skywindow6764]

@@wab2100 Their mutually intelligible dialects also point to this direction... As for the flood: FACT???

[@wab2100]

@@skywindow6764 Well, I didn't mean that the flood was an actual fact, it's just a phrase.

[@amberleckie4143]

Man, my favorite part about that story(at least the version I heard) is the fact that the king and queen decided that the best mode of travel during a flood was a wardrobe.

[@nelsonnottveit5395]

"The real history meme is the friends we made along the way." This is why I will always love OSP.

[@fissionist2158]

I have a second about Lichtenstein: Switzerland: Oh come on, we accidentally invaded Lichtenstein *again!* Lichtenstein: Nah, don’t worry about it. We’re cool. Switzerland: R-Really!? Lichtenstein: Yeah. Just go back in Switzerland and we’ll act like nothing happened.

[@nolanbayle6159]

Last time I was this early The epic of Gilgamesh was still being told orally.

[@jackielinde7568]

I give you the award for the best usage of "The last time I was this early" meme...

[@chronicles2613]

And i nominate you for best joke of the week award

[@justas423]

Literally the oldest meme.

[@kodakazu8]

YOROKOBE ZASSHU

[@nolanbayle6159]

Ivan Gonzalez ah a man of culture

[@DanielWW2]

Gee Blue, Red has been screaming at you for some time that you need more memes. Guess it only took a cough medicine induced state to actually do it. /s

[@huntergraham702]

Last night I was just watching the Pope Fights video where Red told him to stop being philosophical because they need more memes I love these two

[@Xer0sama]

Damn, just wonder what would happen if he started taking something stronger than Nyquil, like Hadacol. Hell, just cut out the middleman, get him drinking on stream and see how long it takes for him to go full Cathargo Delenda Est.

[@bthsr7113]

"lovable disasters called the Olympians" Yep, that sums them up pretty well.

[@SingingSealRiana]

Well, I hold a grudge against apolle over cassandra and killing, or getting his sister to kill the only man she ever liked . . . .

[@jmurray1110]

“oh delicious tea- Jesus” (the spiffing brit has entered the chat)

[@enderking5220]

Was looking around for something like this

[@bazzfromthebackground3696]

I will never forget to call him by his true name. "Alexander the Plot Armor."

[@lolM88]

"FAR AND WIDE, but mostly the mediterranean" is a statement I try not to think about too hard when reflecting on what I've learned about history....

[@Nasser851000]

all hail our meme lord and saviour, Blue XD

[@YeahAlright1983]

@Sneker he's not in denial anymore, he's accepted it at this point. And you should too :-)

[@imacreature897]

"Oh, delicious tea"

[@imacreature897]

Alright, everyone get in here so we can start a Chugging Chant

[@velozio]

@@imacreature897 *S I P*

[@zippydoges9142]

PAUSE IM MAKING TEA

[@goufr3540]

Wait, the Spiffy Brit is here.

[@pastelhotmess9299]

SLURP

[@PhileasLiebmann]

Just want to point out that Graici literally means "like the Graians" in Old Latin/Etruscan dialects. Talk about minimum effort.

[@mickey4125]

As soon as he mentioned Graia I knew there was some lazy conjugation coming...

[@CollinMcLean]

The Romans were engineers not poets

[@PhileasLiebmann]

@@CollinMcLean This may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen written about the old Romans. And that includes the claim that they didn't exist.

[@CollinMcLean]

@@PhileasLiebmann What? You literally said they put minimum effort into naming the Graici and I'm agreeing with you by saying they were engineers and not poets... which is also an inclusion of the long held historical dig at the Roman's for their lack of poeticism in comparison to the Greeks.

[@PhileasLiebmann]

@@CollinMcLean It's also bullshit.

[@TheFanoren]

My favorite "dead body adventure!" Story happened about 20 years after Abraham Lincoln was assassinated. Long story short, a gang of counterfeiters came up with the brilliant idea of kidnapping Lincoln's dead body, burying it, and holding it for ransom. Which is a total dick move. They then assembled a crack team to pull off this heist on the president's tomb... only for half the team, including the getaway driver, to actually be agents for what turned out to be the fledgling secret service, which funny enough, were originally formed to catch counterfeiters. The heisters were hauled off to jail, but they seriously damaged Lincoln's coffin in the process. And as it turns out, the fear that the president's body could be stolen led to the caretaker of the tomb to hide it. I think it was either in a basement or wine cellar, and it stayed there for DECADES!

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

Thanks for the extra memeage!

[@DDlambchop43]

what's really funny is the "ransom" the crooks wanted for Lincoln was the release of a master counterfeiter from jail and some money, cause why not?

[@talknight2]

6:45 this actually worked the same way for all the civilizations to the east of Greece. The first Greeks to settle in Asia were Ionians, so everyone from Turkey to India calls the Greeks some variation of Yavani, Yawani, Ioni, etc.

[@bleep0004]

As an Indian I can confirm that.

[@caraxes_noodleboi]

Yavan through the ages has come to mean any outside culture in India.

[@38-jishjilson89]

Here in Kerala, a state in South western India, the term 'Yona' or 'Yonaka' was used to refer to Muslims. I have no idea how they made that connection though.

[@skywindow6764]

In Turkish, Greek is Yunan.

[@HypnoLuna]

In Hebrew 'yavan' means Greece too

[@mr.dicejar]

Had a chance to say "It's all Graia to me"

[@rockyblacksmith]

Oh man, WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY!

[@virginiarailfannoah5415]

Last time I was this early, Tyr still had both hands.

[@warrcoww6717]

The last time I was this early Tyre was an independent city state

[@Lukos0036]

Last time I was this early tire still had tread.

[@SavageGreywolf]

@@warrcoww6717 last time I was this early Tyre was still an island

[@justas423]

To add to the list: Miyamoto Musashi in general. Dude was late to every duel and still won. IIRC his life was greatly embellished though so most stories were probably anecdotes.

[@rollingthunder1043]

IIRC he won BECAUSE he was late. Specifically his lateness caused his enemy to underestimate him, and also to get angry/frustrated, which led them to make critical mistakes which resulted in a fatal case of internal katana.

[@thelinedrive]

I feel a TFS quote is appropriate for the last story: “Look at that Tupac, you made a friend.” “YAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!”

[@nothingtosay21]

Moral of the story: don't trust Romans to do archaeology.

[@Duane_Grabert]

Or anthropology for that matter.

[@TheRealGuywithoutaMustache]

"Free will is a myth. Religion is a joke. We are all pawns, controlled by something greater: Memes. The DNA of the soul." Let's see who gets that reference in here.

[@leomcdonnell2553]

I see you my friend, I see you

[@sirapple589]

Why does that sound like a Nuxtaku quote?

[@blindbeholder9713]

"They shape our will. They are the culture. They are everything we pass on. Expose someone to anger long enough, they will learn to hate."

[@CryoJnik]

Ah, Wood Bevel Descending Payback. Love that Typhoon character.

[@aridraws7459]

Ah, a man of culture I see.

[@wannabehistorian371]

Why is no one appreciating how appropriate it is that the guy who wrote about his trip through the world of the dead himself got shuffled around a lot after he died?

[@s.m.s.5738]

"Greece was named in Latin after Graia." *Sobs in Graecus*

[@jamesgeorge7579]

1:43, I was sipping my tea, and said "mmm...good tea" at this exact moment.

[@samtemdo8]

Blue tackle Shakespeare's Kings of England plays.

[@chaotik7853]

that's more red's thing, but still cool

[@mirjanbouma]

I'd like Blue to do a version too!

[@jaewok5G]

"needs more henries" - some upstart crow, probably

[@samtemdo8]

@@chaotik7853 Well the thing is Red hasn't even done it, not even the most famous King of England play, Richard III.

[@yayuman3486]

Red already has a Shakespeare series

[@JudgementJury]

"A tier branding" ah, yes Alexander the man of A tier branding.

[@valentinarunko67]

"Alexander the Plot Armour" and "Alexander the Alexander" are my new fav ways to refer to him 😂

[@PyrotechNick77]

I would love for you and red to review those historícal AskReddit threads like "Historians, what is a historical event that actually happened that if written in fiction would be considered a plot hole?" "Mythology/Legend researchers, what is an instance that is mythological but might actually be true?"

[@gavriel5291]

"Loveable Disasters" are the best description of the Olympians that I've ever heard. Aside from Zeus. He's just an A-Hole

[@oracleofcheese]

Yeah Zeus is just a Disaster

[@maksimgamuvka4975]

"medici family" procedes to cough your comedic timing is perfect (Medici is doctors in Italian)

[@helenwasinthehorse8221]

Blue: *names Liechtenstein* Me: Oh boy! Here it comes! I was waiting for him to find this one!

[@Pagan_0210]

Rome: Hi Graia Greece: But I'm not Graia... **Rolls for deception** **Nat 20** Greece: Oh my god, I'm Graia!

[@tim-myton6361]

“Alexander the Plot Armour” someone meme this to Hades and back seven times please! Also, Blue. Where do you come up with these?

[@digifreak90]

I will always love "Did we stutter? *Alex*?" And I now have a head canon that Alexander the guy insisted on being called Alexander, if not his full title, and that people only called him Alex when they got real annoyed with him.

[@HackerWarrior84]

Rome: You're called Graecia now. Hellas: But we have a name. It's Hellas. Rome: Hellas? Hell-nah! ...I'll see myself out for that one.

[@izzy1221]

That last one was the most wholesome part of history I think I’ve ever heard.

[@fedemedina3129]

YES! FINALLY THE LINCHESTEIN MEME! MINUS 1 CASUALTIES BABY

[@Firestar1992]

Fun fact: in rewatching this video today, Blue's coughing fit was interrupted by ads for allergy medicine and chicken noodle soup...well played, KZbin.

[@Yoriden]

I love how Greece's name origin story is pretty much Rome calling a bunch of nations "Graia-cky" because it feels so much like something we'd still do in informal modern English.

[@f.a.s.1746]

blue: the historian bringing us the shitposts we didn’t know we needed

[@ProfDragonite]

"I panicked" does describe a lot of KZbin channels, if we're honest.

[@durrandirtheblack3874]

Tis quite a nice coincidence the coughing started precisely when the Medici were mentioned....

[@digifreak90]

My favorite fun fact about Liechtenstein is that it has been accidentally invaded multiple times. Generally, it was because a unit of the Austrian forces got off track in the forest at the border. As soon as they realized their mistake they'd immediately turn back and inform the government of Liechtenstein of the event with an apology.

[@KitKat-yn6ei]

I will never get over OSP's refusal to call him Alexander the Great. It's wonderful.

[@T4N7]

The Lichtenstein story is one of my favourite tales of war. So bloody wholesome

[@Azaghal1988]

"Oh delicious tea" I know how you're feeling buddy, lying in bed with fever, cold and a really hurting cough.

[@galning2768]

2:29 they could just have shock him like you do at Christmas to see if you got any LEGO.

[@Obi-Wan_Kenobi]

3:31 _Ah, your river valley will make a fine addition to my collection! _*_COUGH COUGH_* And this reference works doubly well because of my particular username and also because Blue himself is extremely sick! It's the perfect recipe for a Star Was joke! Hats off to Blue's clever writing and failing immune system for making it possible!

[@kammieceleek5113]

As of a couple days ago, Dante is no longer exiled from Florence. They have rescinded his banishment in honor of the 700th anniversary of his death.