parentification & eldest daughter syndrome | GROWING UP with Keelin Moncrieff

*I am not a trained professional. these podcasts are a combination of research based & observational
if you want to cross reference any information from this video:
www.researchgate.net/profile/...
www.psychologytoday.com/ie/bl...
my podcast open.spotify.com/show/426k3OI...

[@creamcheesehistorychannel]

girl this hair colour shade compliments you so well !

[@manuelawuschek2608]

Love your new podcast Keelin. I just love listening to your opinions and commend you on always researching and offering various perspectives. ❤❤❤

[@peterdunne1779]

Lick Lick

[@KeelinMoncrieff]

Thank you so much manuela! 💞 Don’t mind Peter, he must be very troubled 😕

[@Noor-zb8rk]

@@KeelinMoncrieffI always say this : I can listen to her for hours and never get bored

[@TaylorNoelS]

I find this so fascinating! I have a brother 10 years older than me, and a brother 18 months older than me. My brother close in age struggled in school and was coddled a lot more than me, so I for sure am a mix of a carefree, confident youngest sibling and an independent older sibling. I loved attention though and I got plenty! They just didn’t “worry” about me. My mom to this day says I’m the only one she doesn’t worry about. Which has it pros and cons

[@hannahmichelson3211]

As a youngest child I know that my older sister was parentified since the day I was born but I do remember also feeling the signs of being parentified too because by the time I was in middle school I also felt the pressure to parent myself because my parents were divorced and always working. So much of the older sibling traits were true but i feel like I carry the younger sibling traits and the older sibling traits. I felt like since my sister was held to such a high standard by my parents I felt like I had to help and raise her emotionally because she would come to me for emotional support. I agree that I am also often the scapegoat and the one who is made fun of the most.

[@wafflesmakemesmile]

Love this podcast, pls continue this kind of content!!! Actually soooo interesting xxx

[@Anna_Michelllle]

luv this and the new podcast 🫶🏻

[@haaaannaaaa]

this episode was so good! and such intresting topics that i've reflected on as well (eldest daughter here) love having the podcast in video format too!!❤ so happy you're podding again :)

[@francescalis6459]

Love this style of video Keelin ❤ Could listen to you talk about stuff like this for hours, the way you express your thoughts and feelings is so beautiful and raw and I love that you've also added research. Just wondering if you could share where your mini mic is from?

[@prairiee]

this taught me a lot about myself that i never knew… which actually made me quite emotional because i think sometimes i get a bit too prideful about self awareness. i struggle so much with boundaries or needing to feel valued for my work ethic and i think it must have started as the oldest daughter in a tension filled family… thank you for the new thoughts to chew on in therapy…. per usual- phenomenal time spent with you!

[@hopewhite-heath2488]

I love this video! I am an only child and I love that about myself but I do find that it gets shit on constantly. I found it really funny that the only word that came to people when they were thinking of only children was 'disagreeable'. We are like the oldest, middle and youngest all wrapped into one so we get all of the syndromes and also none of them... yay!

[@francesca-kk2it]

me too! but as an only child i was still definitely parentified

[@sophiamorales6290]

im so late but omg keelin u r so wise, ur girl is lucky to have u as a mum!

[@kjohnsto1]

It is really fascinating. I find it hard to place myself, I am the middle child with a sister (11 years older) and brother (8 years younger). I also have three step brothers - one close in age to me, and the others 2 years or so on either side of me (were in my life for most of my childhood and then lost touch in my teens - they are now back so its complicated lol). I relate most to being the middle child I guess but my older sister moved away in when I was young so there was quite a long stretch when it was just me, and then later another stretch where it was me looking after my younger brother and I was definitely mean to him. Happily we have a good relationship now.

[@alyssaekom]

i agree with you so much!!

[@aoy1889]

loved this so much! as the youngest daughter (i have two older sisters) i only see myself marrying the eldest son probably because i have noticed with my cousins that the youngest son is always the most irresponsible and kinda lives life very spontaneously and i dont think that'd sit well with me

[@sjwells04]

Okay but it’s actually wild bc I’m the youngest of 3 with an older full brother and older half sister. Both guys I’ve dated were the youngest of 2 or 3 brothers. All my best friends ever are the youngest of 2, youngest of 6, or the middle girl between two brothers. Like I’ve never been close friends with a first born ever. EVER! Thank you for this realisation Keelin.

[@sjwells04]

Also, whilst I’m the youngest, I was the eldest daughter in my house growing up as my sister was 16 when I was born and mostly lived with her mum anyway. So I think it’s complex. Also I’m much more sensible/rigid/stressy than my sister was, she was a rebel. I feel that being the youngest can come with challenges like constantly seeking approval from older siblings, never feeling like the knowledgable/clever/responsible one because everyone was ahead of you. But don’t know if I’d trade for being the eldest haha.

[@katielunton4]

keelin you should psychology or child psychology at the Open University! You could do it part-time or full time x

[@EllaCharlotteJones]

So interesting! Me and my husband sre both eldest children 😎

[@mynameislottie226]

Loved this, I am an only child so this is very riveting for me! You should read the book 'Drama Free' by Nedra Glover Tawwab, it was recommended to me by my therapist. It talks A LOT about parentification and also has a whole section on parenting when you have childhood trauma. Also, it has little shadow work exercises in there you can do! Best book I've read in a while.

[@Ponitypon]

When my younger sister was born I was 3 years old and I stopped eating completely. Talk about dethroning 😂😂 by the time I was 5 and she was 2 we were same weight she was also obese though. I don't feel I did any parenting on her but one thing that my mom kept doing is that thinking and believing that my sister copies every behavior of mine. So when she wanted to discipline me she would say your sister is looking up to you when you do this X behavior she Repeats it and she does it even now when we are 26 and 23!!!!!😅😅

[@maryseptihet]

I am the eldest daughter but I’ve only ever dated the youngest sibling or people who are only children. I think because possibly I like the freedom they ascertain that I never got perhaps? Bit Freudian I guess

[@KeelinMoncrieff]

I always thought youngest boys were attracted to me because I mammy them

[@maryseptihet]

@@KeelinMoncrieff I’m lucky in a way that my current partner (youngest sibling) is very independent and loves cooking and that even though I was not allowed to be an independent party in my own life when I was younger, now I am very passionate about that so refuse to mother anyone (apart from if I have a child in the future aha) - thanks for replying! :)

[@soulsearching7240]

Youngest sibling. I was always very quiet and planned everything in advance. Behaved and overly keen to help. I kept to myself most of the time being alone. I filled in for my older brother on his paper round when I was 10 and too young to have one myself. I always looked up to them or wanted to get started early but also learnt what not to do.

[@siobhannishuilleabhain6004]

any thoughts on the upcoming referendum 🙂

[@KeelinMoncrieff]

I interviewed a representative from the national women’s council last week which I’ll be editing tomorrow so will try get it out as quickly as possible 💞 My initial reaction to the referendum was fed up & also confusion, especially as to what it could affect in the future etc. there seems to be a lot of hysteria/scepticism surrounding the referendum, especially online, so I was really trying not to let random peoples comments sway my decision before doing proper research. A really kind family lawyer had sent me her work on this referendum, which went into detail over the practical implications of the changing of wording - from this, talking to the national women’s council and going off my own instincts, I will be voting YES YES. This is not to influence anyone, I would encourage everyone to do their own research and I also understand the frustration and why people are voting no

[@bluskyes524]

Durable relationships means family reunification which has implications re mass immigration...even more coming than now​@KeelinMoncrieff

[@KeelinMoncrieff]

@@bluskyes524 no it doesn’t, where are you getting this information?

[@bluskyes524]

@@KeelinMoncrieff The courts will end up deciding what a durable relationship is

[@KeelinMoncrieff]

@@bluskyes524 what are you on about

[@OrlaConn14]

keelin i truly would’ve raised hell about the boyfriend/girlfriend sleepover rule 💀

[@Ponitypon]

11:58 lool

[@HerbRoberta]

I feel like you might enjoy Janet Lansbury, shes got amazing content on tiny people. Based on magda gerber, RIE principles.its helped me so much to understand and be with all the babes ive worked with and i feel like will make me a better parent if and when the time comes