Paris Paloma's 'Labour': A masterclass in honouring the feminine experience

[@Tink00]

I think it's noteworthy she uses the term "Labour." It may just be because it fits best rhythmically, but for me it also evokes the idea of pregnancy and birth, and women being seen as just a vessel for babies.

[@honorluca]

Oh absolutely! Reminds me of The Handmaid’s Tale!

[@corinneconverse6070]

Exactly! Almost every word in this song contains layers on layers of meaning

[@hannahmae4404]

That and all the mental, physical and emotional labor that come with it.

[@dren2111]

I think "It's not an act of love if you make her" is a super important line to touch on. It can reference her acts of service, no longer being done out of love but out of survival. And it can also reference the "act" of "love making". Essentially saying it's now SA if you make her perform this act for your own pleasure and disregarding her feelings about it.

[@EnnaGirl]

This song gets right at the heart of the pain, the anger, and the bone-deep exhaustion that echo throughout the experiences of women past and present. Paloma's lyrics stand an all-encompassing metaphor for the struggles that she speaks to and the cycles that women face generation after generation. The capillaries in the eyes don't only burst when someone is overtired or when they are strangled - they can also burst in childbirth as well, echoing the lines that reference being a baby machine and the horror of what fate faces future daughters within this self-perpetuating system. To work and work with no end, to struggle against the ties that keep us and the pressures that push against us until we feel we will crumble, but can never seem to break free from. Her words cannot help but continue to reverberate in our time.

[@honorluca]

Oh my god, Enna! "Bone-deep exhaustion" is the perfect way to describe what I was struggling to put words to. Thank you so much for sharing ❤️

[@MidrinaTheSerene]

And for me (as English is not my first language) it took way too long, until I just heard Luca say that the capillaries bursting could also be from strangulation, to click that 'too much labour' can mean 'too much (forced) child birth' as well as 'too much work'

[@rosekohsman467]

Or from crying

[@valentinacanani1906]

To me, 10:00 could also be a reference to this quote from Bonnie Burstow, “Often father and daughter look down on mother (woman) together. They exchange meaningful glances when she misses a point. They agree that she is not bright as they are, cannot reason as they do. This collusion does not save the daughter from the mother’s fate.” The daugther does what the father taught her, but she will inevitably meet the same fate as the mother when her time comes.

[@honorluca]

Oh I think about that quote all the time! I can absolutely see the connection there!

[@alexterieur8813]

can you share the source material this quote is taken from ?

[@valentinacanani1906]

@@alexterieur8813 It's from Bonnie Burstow's book, Radical Feminist Therapy: Working in the Context of Violence

[@alexterieur8813]

@@valentinacanani1906 thank you

[@nothi_13]

I love this song so dearly. I'm the daughter who witnessed her mother do everything for my father. I thankfully didn't grow up in an abusive household, so seeing my mom do everything, EVERYTHING for my dad never registered as a bad thing until all eyes landed on me during a family function to clean up after everybody. How the men seemed literally incapable of doing a single domestic thing themselves. How a days work of cooking, cleaning and serving is what made me a woman... Absolutely. Infuriating. I'm at the age where I see my mother's exhaustion, and it's devastating. And the guilt I feel when the men in my life have to do anything themselves... This song is just an absolute masterpiece. And I love your analysis ❤️

[@honorluca]

Oh my god... THIS!

[@dawn8293]

I had recently left Mormonism when this song got popular. At the time, it helped me process the life that I had escaped: a patriarchal Mormon marriage. That is, if I had gotten married, that's what I would have had. It made me think of all the labor that women do in that church without being given equal footing in leadership. And now it makes me think of all the polygamous wives of all the prophets. I was rarely taught about any wives, not their names or contributions, but we sang songs and watched films idolizing the men. We don't like to think about polygamy much anymore, and therefore so many women have been ignored in our history. I'm feeling the rage that they were not allowed to feel. I'm cleaning up the generational cycle.

[@mash9415]

"growing up a girl letting people do things to you for years and years means your anger will turn biblical. anger that is incoherent unidentifiable inconsolable. not like an anger that turns to faith for help i mean an anger that is so potent its connected to the universe and its something something somehow wrath of god and wrath towards god" - a quote that haunts me from tumblr

[@honorluca]

Omg chills! I’m saving that one for later, thank you!!

[@shadowkitsu]

I'm saving this. Forever

[@moldly_mads]

I remember this circulating while the song was still in promotion, but during the bridge, Paris is accompanied in her singing by what sounds to be a children's choir. It's easy to take away from that creative choice that the children singing not only represents how this happens starting from a young age of indoctrination about what a woman should do, but also the generational trauma side of womanhood. It reminds me of those stories of families where the men sit in the dining room, while all the women, from the daughter's to the grandmothers, do all the cleaning and cooking, and all the stress is burdened on them to make the event special. I absolutely adore your videos, and analyses of art, especially since it is pretty much entirely art I already love and consume. Keep making content at your pace, it is incredibly interesting and entertaining.

[@honorluca]

Absolutely! The choir is such a powerful addition here. It also reminds me of pagan chants and the way women have been persecuted for their links to witchcraft throughout history. Thank you so much for the kind words too ❤️

[@Tink00]

In case you haven't found it, that's the RAK Session recording :)

[@emmavink]

Just from long personal experience, I'd suggest this is more likely a youth choir than a children's choir. Typically, ages range from 13-19, but members can include ages 10-23 years old. This sounds more like a range of teenage girl to young women as the backing choir.

[@jordynncanelis7783]

I just want to say men use weaponized incompetence early and not just in romantic relationships. I can’t count how many times in school I’ve been tasked with doing the presentation/ handwriting school work because ”you’re better at it”

[@honorluca]

Absolutely!

[@purpp-esque1711]

I mean, would you like them to put their chicken scratch on your presentation? I think this is a difference in women and men's thinking. The thought that competence can be "weaponized". Women are not honored to have a compliment of their ability by someone abdicating their role and giving them responsibility. A woman thinks "Ugh, I'm gonna do more work?" or "Man! I wanted to do this other work.". A man thinks "Was that a compliment?" or "Nice, I have full control of this part.". Men tend to get into bouts of conflict much more than their women with their supiriors. Men like control by nature. Good for innovation, raises, and general competition, but it tends to not be a good catalyst in a relationship. Women see allotment. Allotment of labor, rewards, attention, etc. They are primarily consumptive and conservative. Women are the strong root of the tree that holds it firm. The tree being a metaphor for lineage, culture, etc. How do you think the "patriarchy" maintained itself? Women enforced and passed it on. In a stationary society, the men work, but the women stay and inculcate the children. Sometimes the kids get wisdom from dads, but ultimately, everyone defaults to momma. The way I see it(I'm a man), the best way for a unit to run with the most efficiency is for everyone to play at their strengths first. Women today think everyone's a boss, everyone's equal, everyone wants the same things, etc. No. Communists was security at the expense of freedom, capitalists want the opposite. The inclination to persue security over all is feminine in nature. The inclination to branch out and grow is masculine in nature.

[@Kendra-qh4qm]

@@purpp-esque1711 This is weird tirade excusing weaponized incompetence among men is exactly the point of the song, the point of why women are so angry, and why we're so tired. It's a long and tired, bloviated way of saying, "men shouldn't have to try harder, women should just be thankful for the compliment (whether it's re: hand writing or literally anything else is irrelevant) and the opportunity to do more work because it results in more compliments, which is what women want." Do better.

[@haurvajan]

@@purpp-esque1711 that's not what anybody's talking about. we're talking about when people lie about their skillset to get out of having to do any work. god you're a fucking idiot if you come in here like "well if you think about it the patriarchy's all women's fault for putting up with it". we both know men are capable of cooking and cleaning and are not inherently better or worse at it than women, but how many men seek relationships specifically because they're looking to outsource domestic labor to their partner? KIND OF A FUCKING LOT OF THEM ACTUALLY. and then they pretend like they've never seen a washing machine in their life the instant you move in together. "oh gosh i just don't know how to separate the reds batch; you're so much better at it than me! you should do 100% of the laundry!" and "lol i can't even boil water right! you should do 100% of the cooking!" and "somehow i always miss grease film left on the dishes, so you should wash 100% of them if you want them to be actually clean!" hey dipshit that's not playing to strengths, that's lying about your capabilities and refusing to learn or grow as a person because you'd much rather treat a partner like a servant out of personal convenience. and if forced to contribute to the household, they deliberately ruin something to reinforce the lie. "sorry i shrank your favorite sweater in the wash" and "sorry i burned dinner to an inedible mess" and "sorry the pots are still greasy after i washed them" when he managed all those tasks with no issue back when he lived alone, and also managed them back when he lived with his parents according to his mother. it's disgusting and indefensible.

[@siouxzqz1]

I heard she was inspired after reading the book "Circe" about a witch in the Greek story "The Odyssey". The story is seen through her eyes. The lyrics are timeless for women 3,000+ yrs ago to today. Nothing has changed for many women the world over.

[@honorluca]

Ooo I've been meaning to pick up Circe for ages! Think it might need to be my next read!

[@kirstenwyatt9675]

The color and shape of the cage changes, but the confinement is still there.

[@hailey-tu7ut]

i think it’s really powerful (and very sad) that so many modern women relate so intensely to these lyrics that are not so modern. this concept has traveled with us through time. the struggles women have faced in the past are still very real in modern society. i think about showing this song to a woman from the past. she would understand the lyrics. these struggles bring women from every time period together.

[@honorluca]

Couldn’t have said it better ❤️

[@obsessedwithsoftball7541]

I was actually reading a book recently about the female experience during the American Revolution for school and was struck by the familar experiences. The language and circumstances were different but the feelings and anxieties were the same. Worried they couldn't complete all their task for the day, the struggle of raising children, worried for their financial situation if their husbands died and yet they were also strong with multiple accounts of women telling soldiers the shove it (even under threat of r*pe). These were women who lived 250 years ago and yet I could relate to their struggles so easily.

[@kerstinfontaine7941]

8:55 thank you so much for your honesty. Just over three years ago, I was at the tail end of a long road of addiction. Part of that road was an extremely physically abusive relationship. When it all came to a head and my injuries required hospitalization; I reached out to my attacker several times begging for his forgiveness. Begging for him to be with me. Thank God and all that is the Divine Feminine, my mother and sister got to me first. This used to embarrass me, but now I share it with the appropriate audience any chance I get. Long before the first strike, mental and emotional abuse wrapped around and inside of me. Hearing you share your experience has helped to validate my own. Thank you.

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much for sharing your story, too. It shows an incredible amount of bravery to even type it out ❤️ Wish you nothing but healing and peace xx

[@sassylittleprophet]

Honestly, I think the worst type of abuse is the kind that makes you love your abuser no matter what they put you through. And that type of abuse isn't physical -- it's mental, emotional, and psychological. Of course you wanted him, *needed* him. Abusers are a type of addiction, except their high is the love they pretend to offer while manipulating you. Never feel sorry for having your natural ability to love be manipulated, that says far more about your abuser than it does you. Only a monster would take your genuine love and use it to manipulate you. Good on you for getting out, and I'm not talking about your mom and sister rescuing you (though good on them for it). I'm talking about taking the steps to realize the truth and to grow and become more yourself. It's so hard to admit someone doesn't love you, but you deserve to love yourself more and to be genuinely loved by people who love you for you. From one abuse survivor to another, wishing you all the best, all the love, all the good things in life 💜

[@63rdwho]

"Apologies from my tongue, never yours", reminds me of growing up, ironically in the same Derbyshire where Paris Paloma is from. The line reminds me of my dad, who never in his life said "sorry" to anyone, except as a sarcastic remark. For him and his peers working in a factory, saying sorry, or displaying any emotion at all, was seen as a weakness. Fortunately, I haven't made the same mistake. Or at least I hope I haven't.

[@imzadi83fanvids7]

The "capillaries" line also made me think of someone who'd been crying a lot and the idea that you, as a woman, are trained to put on a happy face even if feel like you're dying inside.

[@rosekohsman467]

I cried sooo much over the yrs from his abuse neglect rejection etc his words to my core ripped me apart jabbin at me all the time I wasn’t good enough his utter betrayals like Weaponzing my childhood traumas just so much hell he put me through he killed me im just a shell lost broken

[@OctaviaBeirne-oi9xc]

When I first listened to this song I couldn't help myself but cry. I was the product of a relationship like this; I was the daughter. Paloma's lyrics hit deep as it perfectly encapsulates the bitter anger and silent resentment until you break and just leave. The capillaries line also caught me, as my mothers burst when she was in labour with me, but they can also burst due to physical abuse. And the child choir in the background really makes it cut deeper considering it almost 'echos down the generations', continuing the cycle on and on with every daughter born.

[@honorluca]

Wow what a powerful connection to the song you have, Octavia! Thank you for sharing ❤️

[@erainnamorato]

i also see the first few lines as a reference to suicide. the woman wants to kill herself because of the ridiculous amount of pain she experienced but the man doesnʼt let her even though itʼs obvious that he just. doesnʼt love her. almost as if he /wants/ her to suffer.

[@r0ckmom]

This song is wonderful. Thank you for being trans inclusive with your analysis, I’m a trans man and I’ve seen people say that because we’re men, we don’t get to identify with feminism the way women do. But I’ve lived my entire childhood and adolescence female and identifying as such.. I’ve seen all this too. We’re incredibly grateful, and I’m sure trans women appreciate your acknowledgement and clarification at the beginning. Again, great analysis of a beautiful song ❤

[@honorluca]

Of course! It was incredibly important for me to acknowledge that in the beginning and not discount anyone's experience. Gendered relationship roles are not an issue that solely affect cisgendered heterosexual couples, it can affect a wide range of relationships. Anyone, regardless of gender or orientation, can perpetuate misogyny and therefore anyone can be a victim ❤️

[@ThatOneNerdGirly]

I loved the double meaning in the lines "Apologies from my tongue, but never yours, busy lapping from flowing cup, and stabbing with your fork" I feel like it conjures the imagery of his gluttony but the stabbing fork could also be his sharp forked tongue and words, calling back to the first verse.

[@aparna12242]

6:47 Also need to note that many women tend to "burst their capillaries" during pregnancy too. Hormonal fluctuations during pregnancy can cause broken capillaries, also known as spider veins or "telangiectasia".

[@julianas8201]

one thing someone pointed out on tik tok is that their are children singing with her in the last verse and i think that really shows what she was talking about with having the same fate. even little girls know what their fate is on some level. And that even while still being children their fate has been sealed already

[@honorluca]

Such a fantastic point!

[@SnickyNicky96]

The capillaries often also burst during childbirth, I really love that touch and so many meanings in each line

[@coppersssnek9619]

apparently that also happens if you get choked..

[@isabellehutch]

the line about “just an appendage” sounds like a reference to adam and eve where eve was made from adams rib, she isn’t her own being just there to serve his needs, procreate etc (sorry if this is inaccurate i’m not well versed in christianity))

[@honorluca]

Ooo this is a FANTASTIC point! Thank you!

[@LizRobbinsGauna44]

OMG... I am a few months away from turning 80, and I know and feel every word. In the US, the far right is trying to return women back to the 17th century.. I hope women wake up, get woke, and vote.

[@dsanderella]

VOTE BLUE 💙💙💙

[@ezgivarol5782]

The part or the lyrics “Who tends the orchards? Who fixes up the gables?” “Who fetches the water from the rocky mountain spring? And walk back down” has a double meaning too. Yes, these things ties up women’s lineage. Then again these things, a roof over your head, sturdy walls, water, food are crucial for our survival. These has always been women’s responsibility yet these things we need to survive have been seen as trivial by the society.

[@scxtt1336]

Yes, I knew it was going to be this song! I'm not a woman myself, but the lyrics felt so powerful when I first heard them. And the way she signs sounds so angry, and it's not a bad anger, but a good kind of anger that strives for change and justice, the kind which causes earthquakes and topples pillars. It's amazing. Love your analysis as always!

[@honorluca]

"Causes earthquakes and topples pillars" - such a beautiful way to describe the way this message has reverberated across the globe. Thank you so much! ❤️

[@maguisfilm5747]

13:02 it can also be interpreted as lift the index finger as in pointing the “mistakes” or that she isn’t doing enough. I presuppose that it’s intended this to have double, triple or more meanings, as you say it comes down to experiences and i found it devastating that we can have so many meanings to something so simple that it’s to lift a finger.

[@aeri_taylors-version]

omg dang it could also be putting the blame on the other party 😭

[@honorluca]

You're so right! Such a brilliant point.

[@tmbae158]

The Madonna-Whore complex doesn't just extend to men, women still tend to sort each other into either category. It's fucked yet true. I've never been in a romantic relationship at least not one that lasted longer than a week(commitment issues) so for me, I took all this to apply to my relationship with my parents. It's that same harsh words with out realising and work, work work, and expectations with no appreciation or understanding. Your analyses are really great. I hope you keep posting.

[@honorluca]

I certainly will keep posting! There’s definitely a real beauty in music that can be applied to different scenarios than are obvious by the lyrics!

[@16poetisa]

I hadn't even considered the double meaning of labor -- it's not just about childbirth, but also the work it takes to free yourself from an abusive relationship. It's bringing into being your own new life, a rebirth of yourself. And it's also a true act of love for the next generation that will hopefully help bring forth a better future.

[@ladysolitude9978]

I was hoping you'd cover this song! I only discovered Paris Paloma a few months ago with "the fruits" and I've honestly been obsessed, it's amazing how someone so young can encapsulate centuries of women's struggle so well. If I were to add anything I'd say that one of the strongest aspects of the song is the title itself, it sums up the core idea perfectly, and it made me think of the concepts of emotional labour and marxist feminism's reproductive labour. Also, if you like Paris I highly recommend checking out Kiki Rockell, she has a similar vibe and is also incredibly talented :) I'm loving this new wave of female rage in music, I feel like we've always had angry feminist anthems but this rage in particular adds an ancestral touch that I don't remember witnessing before.

[@honorluca]

Absolutely agree with you! And I just discovered Kiki Rockwell recently! She is AMAZING

[@Sendarya]

The song just leaves me in tears, and this analysis is spot on. The weaponized false incompetence as a form of abuse that is something often overlooked. That lyric really got me. Recently, I was preparing food when my partner shouted from the other room. I called back that I'd be just a minute (Trying to get something into the oven) but he shouted more, so I came running. He wanted me to take his empty coffee cup. It sounds so innocuous, but that's just the smallest taste of every moment of every day. Also, "so that he never lifts a finger" might have a third meaning. Abuse is often verbal. Accusations and constant criticism. This is the meaning that struck me.

[@honorluca]

Gosh it really is scary the way society has bred men to feel entitled to another human’s labour! It hurts my heart to see it be so normal in relationships!

[@CyeOutsider]

This song is why, at 50, i am single and am happy to stay that way. Its exhaustion - and happiness at finally having my independence back.

[@nefelifrida1088]

I'm so glad you have made this video. Labour is one of those songs that really needs to be heard by anyone that can relate, because it can voice so many aspects of being a woman. My favourite line is "it's not an act of love if you make her" because it's a societal pattern to categorise acts of service as a love language most common in women. And yes, it's sometimes true, but more often than not it's a woman or a young girl raised in a culture of learning how to be a subservient home maker. She does all those things for her partner, sometimes because there's that underlying fear of being deemed unattractive if she doesn't know how to take care of him. This may be a reach but it also reminds me of how men live life having a constant 'mother' figure (once again, Freud had a hateably fair point); as a child they have their mothers or sisters, and as adults they have their wives/ partners. And whether or not the man is aware of it, he has this subconscious expectation that the woman is supposed to "tend the orchard" or to "fetch the water", and if she doesn't then she is naturally deserving of "emotional torture" as she isn't loving him correctly. It's so infuriating to watch it repeat over generations, and terrifying to see that people of the newer generation are not aware of/ don't wish to break the cycle. The visuals of Paris' video are also very intriguing and captivating. Watching your weekly videos has honestly become part of my routine and it's such a lovely thing to look forward to 😭 PS: The only way I'd like to be loved is like a Hozier song

[@honorluca]

So spot on Nefeli! Such a perfect way to put it. And thank you so much, I’m so happy to be a part of your week ❤️

[@NGraceW]

It's never pathetic to be a victim of a manipulator. You did the best you could to protect yourself.

[@shaymckin7182]

I remember first hearing the first line of the second verse as “Apologies FOR my tongue, BUT never yours” And I think it actually works no matter which way you hear that lyric

[@azraamoosa8795]

**** I know this is a lyric analysis video and not an analysis of the MV but I need a place to point out these genius details so bear with me**** A year late lol but just wanted to add my two cents. In the music video I noticed that the wife serves the husband and he gorges himself on the feast that she's made but, the wife never eats. This to me, was a metaphor for women always prioritizing everyone over themselves and always giving but never receiving. Towards the end the wife reaches for a pomegranate and very deliberately devours it. Pomegranates are a symbol of fertility and power, so reaching for the pomegranate was the wife taking her power back. I also noticed that there is a candle that is lit on the wife's side but not the husband's. I supposes that's another metaphor for how women put in so much effort into sustaining relationships and 'burn' themselves out. When the candle has burnt out towards the end of the mv, the wife has left. Also the lyrics ' So that he never lifts a finger' couild have three possible meanings: 1. So that he doesn't have to do any work 2. So that he doesn't physically abuse her 3. So that he never points an accusing finger at her.

[@ellie-rey]

she recently released a version of this called "The Cacophony" that I highly recommend you listen to. it really hits hard

[@honorluca]

Oh I absolutely love it!

[@pocketofpoetry99]

I listened to this song on repeat for WEEKS and it still gives me chills and brings tears to my eyes when I hear it. Hearing you break down the lyrics was so powerful, especially the part in the second verse when she talks about if they had a daughter. I started crying when you were reading that bit because it resonates with me so deeply. Sometimes you don't have the courage to leave an oppressive situation for yourself, but thinking about the next generation of women and making things better for them pushes you to that point. As someone who recently left a high demand religion, "somebody I thought was my savior" carries an even deeper meaning for me too, because I was taught my whole life that I needed a good husband to ensure my literal eternal salvation in the next life, which is truly insane.

[@honorluca]

Oh I totally feel you with the religion thing! It can be really hard sometimes to look back at some of the truly insane beliefs or values I used to accept as normal. Thank you so much for sharing and stopping by xx

[@pocketofpoetry99]

@@honorluca thank you ❤️ I just found you but I'm loving your content so far!

[@ThayRiverx]

This was my most listened to song this year

[@Problembeere]

„For somebody I thought was my saviour You sure make me do a whole lot of labour“ In the honeymoon phase of a relationship the new partner can appear to be the savior who snatches a person away from their cruel parents - or from an abusive spouse. Only after the relationship is settled and both are isolated on an island (so to say), the new partner shows their real face - and it turns out they’re also an abuser.

[@MinMin-kq2zn]

I came to your channel from the hozier video. And im here to stay!

[@honorluca]

So glad to have you here!

[@lucy_6987]

ahh i love this so much! my main thought when hearing this song was the handmaid's tale, with the links to the noose, escape and bodily autonomy (the red caped figure in the cover too!) also the double meaning of "labour" to mean both physical labour - work, and labour as in birth i felt linked to the way women are presented in the novel. obviously THT is built upon issues women have faced historically so links back go everything you mentioned too :) thank you, i loved your hozier and florence videos too

[@honorluca]

This is so genius, Lucy! Absolutely adds a whole new layer and depth to the song!

[@elaineschow5700]

To me the line "this was an escape plan" originally had me thinking about the characters marrage as a whole, it being an escape from the ridicule and disgust that alot of windowed and single women would get for not having a husband

[@eerised3]

What an amazing video. This song is really, really good. I get chills during the chorus and at the end of the song with the multiple voices singing together. I like to imagine that these voices represent that fight for women's rights is collective. The burden of domestic work is something that influences so many aspects of women's lives: the freedom to work, to build a career, to participate politically in decision-making positions (these issues are especially prevalent in emerging countries where domestic work is predominantly done by women, as you said)... Amazing video as always!!!!!

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much for the kind words! ❤️

[@loluco25]

I'm new here and I just love your videos, and the way you approach the subjects. First with the Hozier video, and now withs tis one AMAZING I'm non binary, and was assigned male at birth, so it really isn't my place to understand every nuance of this song, and really feel what its about, but as queer person, you also have this double standard, this rage and this pressure to conform to rules that don't make sense... this song has been on repeat for weeks in my head...

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much Leonardo! And it's so wonderful that other gender identities are able to pull meaning from this song too!

[@emjay6504]

I love your video! I also think the line near the beginning where she states that her escape was "carefully timed" may also refer to the fact that it's before she has a child which would complicate her leaving because of this second person that she would have to consider.

[@honorluca]

Oh absolutely! Great point!

[@ruval1433]

The muse itself for this song is an interesting one. Its nice to see a more mature and heavy topic in music blow up and how it can serve as an artistic inspiration.

[@honorluca]

Couldn't agree more!

[@samuelgiraudo8748]

This was really insightful and helped me understand a lot of elements to the lyrics that I missed. Thanks for making the video :)

[@honorluca]

I'm so glad it was helpful! x

[@Theturtleowl]

The painful thing to me is that even if we don't have it ourselves, we know someone who has a trauma that is told in Labour. And we all know that it could be us. I know off five women in my family who were abused in their marriage or relationship. And that is just from the top off my head. And it makes me so angry and sad that I can barely express it.

[@honorluca]

Absolutely! It is a tragic aspect of our society 💔

[@breannapiscitelli3941]

To me the ‘ capillaries in my eyes are bursting,” line reminded me instantly if the term “walking on eggshells”. Like, there is so much you want to say, so much you want to do but you cannot say it for fear of retaliation. So instead, you hold it in, and it slowly kills you. Also, very similar to suffocation, which could also be another metaphor for constantly having to walk on eggshells and never be able to actually talk about the problem without completely blowing up. This song is absolutely fascinating to me. There’s so many lines in it, that I can relate to as a woman. Very very awesome analysis. I enjoyed watching this. It was a little hard at times, but was very insightful and the song is still incredibly empowering to me!❤

[@honorluca]

Yes this!! Couldn’t have said it better!

[@papl20]

I fucking love your analysis, they always make me so emotional... i don't know why but i always thought about "The capillaries in my eyes are bursting" to be a visual representation of what happens when you go into labor, like you push so hard the capillaries of your eye burst.... idk why but pregnancy was what first cross my mind, maybe because she later refers to having a daughter idk...

[@honorluca]

Aw thank you!! ❤️ and yep I 100% get what you mean!

[@ThayRiverx]

I use this song in my religious practice to call in goddess energy. Like when it’s goddess reminding us of all the labour she does but not as a complaint but as an alter to all that she is. All day every day Therapist mother maid nymph than a virgin nurse than a servant All the things goddess is to us And the line just an appendage live to attend him. Is like a sarcastic jab referencing male disposability

[@honorluca]

I love this!

[@leahsmith2078]

This was very eloquently said and a lot of the comments are introspective and interesting 😊

[@theburgersystem126]

Even as someone that feels these lyrics deeply, I love the amount of nuance that can still be taken from these lyrics at the end. Also as an autistic woman, I definitely feel like my masking does intersect with general emotional labor that women perform????

[@elizabethweidner387]

For me, the "it's not an act of love if you make her" refers to r@pe/forced pregnancy. Growing up in an ultra-religious environment, the best thing a woman could do is have as many kids as possible, regardless of her desires. Especially with "24/7 baby machine so he can live out his picket fence dream" these verses made me think of my upbringing. I'm so glad to be out of that environment! Loved this analysis and the song!

[@4.I.S]

Thanks for the analysis, its much appreciated. In the next view months I was going to discuss this song on a podcast and I've really felt like it was a modern protest song about social production. Thanks for the info in this video

[@Thelegendarybugsy]

Thank you for this break down. I felt all of this from just listening but you put everything into words that I couldn’t. ❤

[@aimeenicole6331]

I cried so hard after watching this video.:(

[@honorluca]

Oh no! It certainly is very emotional subject matter ❤️

[@sewnandsilentt]

you are a master in song analysis this was LOVELY

[@honorluca]

Ah stop it! Your praise is too kind ❤️

[@eryncassidy2651]

I love your videos so much!! I did not expect to be so early but I have been listening to this song on repeat for weeks.

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much Eryn! ❤️

[@ladyrosenrot1514]

The ending part in the video where she has bloody face ...the way her hair is reminds me of Thomasin from the vvitch movie (idk it could be just me but she just pop in my head in that part of music video) GREAT VIDEO ❤

[@honorluca]

Ooo yes! Now that you say it, I can totally see it!

[@chelseatroch4200]

I love alle the sibelisme/details in the video vrom the food on the tabel to the light

[@rosyopal]

l'm so happy that I found your videos, you always manage to talk about songs in a way that I could never put into words. for the q&a, hozier uses a lot of references to greek mythology and religious symbolism in his songs. I was wondering if you have any literature recommendations for someone that is new to those kind of topics and wants to know more about it. have a lovely day!

[@honorluca]

Aw Eva that is so kind! And I'll definitely answer your question in the Q&A. Have a lovely day too! ❤️

[@salsabeel13]

I adore your mind

[@honorluca]

Aw bless you! Glad to have you here! xx

[@jacksonthedoggy]

I’m 39, married at 18 (I was raised Mormon. Getting married young was normal). Please younger women, don’t get married. Have a committed partner if you like but don’t get married. Something about the titles, the legal document, this history of marriage and ownership - men take it all for granted in marriage. Don’t sacrifice your autonomy and freedom for anyone please. Please 🙏

[@mash9415]

i feel like you'd love paris paloma's other songs she has out, especially yeti because i cannot get enough of the lyrics

[@honorluca]

Oh I absolutely adore her work! I've been loving 'Lily Rice' at the moment ☺️

[@weronikajank]

I'm so in love with those videos 🫀

[@honorluca]

Aw thank you!!! 🥰

[@jule4772]

Your way of talking and analyzing is always so eloquent and deep-rooted, like a wise and mighty tree. I am curious if you know of a song/could make a video about womanhood for those who never fit neatly in one or the other gender box. I identify as a demi female and I always struggled with my feminity as I did not experience womanhood like my fellow sisters. The good and the bad (catcalling, sexism, traumatic relationships you name it). But I also definitely can not identify with manhood. It is a strange feeling, something along the line of not having a real home. So curious to hear your thoughts.

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much for your kind words, Jule! To be honest, I can't think of one that comes to mind but I am certain that there is music out there that can connect with your identity. I will have a good search for you! ❤️

[@Seamannon]

You might wanna check out Steam Powered Giraffe. They have a bunch of really great songs, that "unboxed" people can deeply resonate with ;) They take on different social issues, not only gender, also disability, neurodivergence and a general feeling of never fitting in anywhere, so they created their own strange box for people who feel like broken automatons and they encourage radical acceptance and self-love. My favourite songs are "Malfunction", "Automatonic Electronic Harmonics" and "Overdrive".

[@muningning4851]

I love watching analysis videos of the things i love because they tend to make me love them more, and you're becoming one of my favorites with it, i feel like i could trust you. Anyway for the q&a, do you have some book recommendations 🤗

[@honorluca]

Aw thank you, that is so kind! Will definitely give you some killer recommendations when I film the Q&A 😊❤️

[@muningning4851]

@@honorluca excited omg ♥️

[@sophiadiangelo17]

I've always thought if the "lifting a finger" as a gesture if accusation if the woman did anything erong or didn't do everything he asked for and then he gets mad at her

[@honorluca]

That is definitely a good reading of the line!

[@sophiadiangelo17]

@@honorluca thank you! i love how you can read some of these lines in so many different ways

[@leahsmith2078]

She’s only 22? Wow

[@therewillbecatswithgwenhwyfar]

I also think the reference to time could be a nod to the idea that maybe she's pregnant and that that's what has pressed her for making this a NOW thing. She has to end the relationship, the pregnancy, maybe even him.

[@bradenholt4418]

Another great video!!

[@honorluca]

Thank you Braden! ❤️

[@mollyoneill7109]

Love your channel, found it through the Hozier video.

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much!!

[@DevonRoe-c8c]

“It’s not an act of love if you make her, you make me do too much labour” I think has a double meaning-both as love making vs SA but also in reference to having a child. Giving birth and becoming a mother is held up as the ultimate “act of love” and the highest form of love a woman can ever experience in life….but it isn’t an act of love if you force a woman to perform reproductive labour against her will. I think this line is absolutely a cry for access to abortion. I also think this abortion theme ties in to the line “so now I’ve got to run so I can undo this mistake.” I imagined that the speaker in this abusive relationship has discovered she is pregnant and knows that having a child with this man will entrap and doom her forever. Undoing the mistake of the pregnancy will break the cycle of trauma passed from mother to daughter could be interpreted literally or figuratively. She’s either running away to save her daughter from her father’s abuse or preventing her daughter from ever being born into this world.

[@justicekeiller1827]

PLEASE do a video on last woman on earth by Paris Paloma.

[@honorluca]

I certainly will!!

[@Candlekeepdeep]

The music video for this song really reminded me of Dinner and Diatribes... would you do a comparison of the two?

[@honorluca]

Ooo that could be a super interesting video! 🤔 ill add it to my list!

[@ElenaDarby-Rodriguez]

might i recommend 'same old energy' by kiki rockwell

[@honorluca]

I. LOVE. KIKI. 😍😍😍

[@jamesiie]

I found your channel through your first Hozier video and have not stopped watching since. Every time you post I look forward to engaging my mind in a lovely way. We seem to enjoy the same type of music and I highly recommend another one of Paris’ songs- the fruits. It talks about similar issues but in a different way. It’s very biblical and the melody has, at least in my opinion, that “Hozier-forest-fae” vibe if you get what I mean?😅 But seeing as you seem to like Paris you probably already know the song. I just wanted to say that I really liked this video especially your explanation of the madonna-whore complex. I think this theory is so sad and objectifies women so much. It’s particularly sad because that’s how a lot of men “excuse” cheating- by not being attracted to their partner and “having” to seek out other women. It perpetuates the idea of women not doing enough in their relationship and guilt trips us into thinking it’s our own fault. It’s very clear to me that this theory could only stem from a man who hasn’t felt the oppression we had to face. I’m almost sure that if more men knew of this theory they would excuse that behaviour by telling us it’s not their fault it’s just that complex that they have. And I think the song labour just perfectly sums up that frustration of everything we had to endure at the hands of a man. Anyways, sorry for the long comment and if you managed to read all of this, love your vids and I feel like I’m analysing songs with a friend. it’s so fun Yours truly, James❤️

[@honorluca]

Thank you so much, James. Your kind words really mean a lot. Indeed the complex is very saddening and I'm terrified to fall into a relationship only to discover that he thinks this way. Thank you for such a considered response ❤️ Honor x

[@chronicallyfemme]

I i took it to mean the same thing as well

[@sydney9011]

Question for the Q&A potentially: Which artists do you listen to and resonate with most lyrically? Which artists make you want to rant about their work because you love it so much? I love tlaking music with people who are as devoted and passionate about it as you are, and I'd love to hear what you have to say!

[@honorluca]

Aw apologies Sydney, the Q&A has already been filmed and uploaded! I do speak a little bit about lyrics that I really connect with in it, but my top artists I resonate with would definitely be Sam Fender, Hozier and Amy Winehouse ☺️ My list of artists I could rant about goes on forever and forever but a few would include the ones I just mentioned and then The Teskey Brothers, Fontaines DC, Shame, Budgie and Sly & The Family Stone

[@myragroenewegen5426]

What's noteable here is that that the posibility that this relationship is psysically abusive is played down. What this woman is escaping is first of all the excess work and entitlement in this relationship. There are a lot of women who get stuck doing too much work in relationships with men where work should be shared, because certain men don't even realize how much they have grown up taking it for granted that they don't have to do or even learn to do certain things. It's important to ballance female rage here with remembering that kids of both genders can grow up doing this to their parrents with everything typically falling on mothers and that men may have varying degrees of awareness and, when they know the stakes and see that it's possible, many will help, although if the weight of teaching and enforcing accountability for this falls onto female partners, yet again here, that can be an even worse problem and both problems should be a deal-breaker often. I think difficulty communicating needs and sharing work can also lead to guilt ammoung an entire family where one matriarch does too much of the work. Even when people are exhausted, navigating the sharing the power that comes with taking ownership over tasks and the resentment that comes from the skills and work-sharing not always being fast or easy for a new person to take on right -- that makes situations hard, even when the will is there to help. I'm speaking as an adult woman who grew up with my mom doing too much in work and the home while dad overworked at work and I overworked as a perfectionist in school. They later separated and I live with Mom now in her increasingly old age, as her fategue and walking disability worsens, while he lives separately. I feel ashamed for not being a natural enough helper to her or eager enough to do what needs doing, but also generally overstretched and resentful about having no choise in much work that she can't phisically do now and her not being kind about the necessity of me to just do things because nobody else is available to her. The limits on my own freedom in the world have increased as she's been less able to even do the fun things with me. I'm preparing to move out and I need to not be caring for anyone or dealing with serious disability issues in my immediate household circles for a while, but I also feel I've failed her and keep failing her and I feel rotten about it. One can be the problem, even as another woman. I think I'll learn to be a more responcible person when I get out on my own, but we've lost so much of the joy of living together as people who like and love eachother. A related issue here is that the hole family was, for a long time, all individually overworked while living together, out of necessity. It tends to lead people to be either angry or tired and unable to figure out how to sort the power and responcibility issues out carefully,in good faith.

[@Icelandchan]

I loved your analysis. :) As an afab trans guy who only started their transition at 30, I can relate to that song, too. And it reminded me of all the women who get put down by their own husbands. Or these "jokes" where they make fun of their wives? Disgusting. I work in a call center and women I had on the phone who were constantly told by their husbands that they are too stupid to handle simple computer things. I'm sorry, sir! You don't even know how to load and turn on a washing mashine which is so f**ing simple. I would be very quiet if I were you! - is what I would have loved to tell them :)

[@ThayRiverx]

I like playing around with who is singing in this song. Like pretending like it’s the man singing the lines at some points and the woman at others. To highlight the feeling of male disposability and how marriage can feel like a work contract at some points. It to take away from the power of the female pov in this song. When I listen to feels like the song is dispelling toxicity from both sides of the dynamic of the heterosexual child rearing pair

[@bastetowl3258]

it’s not a feminine experience. it’s a female experience. women get certain expectations placed on them, especially in hetero relationships, that men don’t

[@honorluca]

Hey, not debating this at all. I was just simply using correct grammar. The experience pertains to the female population, therefore by proper English standards, it is a feminine experience. I also wanted to be inclusive of those that may fall into classically feminine role within a relationship, but don’t necessarily identify with the word female.

[@Kleptomaniac.author]

If you like this song I would check out Kiki Rockwell! She is really good and her songs encapsulate this song as well.

[@honorluca]

OMG I love Kiki! I'll definitely need to dedicate a video to her!

[@salsabeel13]

I adore your mind