F***! This Is Powerful.

[@TheRuthlessRuth]

I think the line "So he doesn't lift a finger" is important because of it's double meaning. On the surface you think 'lazy', but it can also relate to female violence at a deeper level, which then turns the song around from a woman tired of doing all the work, to a woman who does the work to avoid the result we have throughout history seen as a very common occurrence where men so often hold control over woman. Which at it's core makes the song so much more powerful, especially because it's not something men always understand, or have experienced. Not that there aren't cases where the opposite is the case, but this song is very much from a female perspective and the female lived experience. Control over women through the threat of violence has often throughout history been something that needs to be addressed and unfortunately it is still an issue we deal with today. So the song on a surface level I feel does come across as being specific to a certain scenario, however the meaning behind it is something that almost every woman in existence can understand and will at some point experience.

[@tima7814]

I agree wholeheartedly. My mother is and has always undoubtedly been emotionally abused and used by my father but she always used the excuse that some men are "worse" and hit their wives as if that made it all better. I've become so traumatised of human relationships after watching how it forced my mum to become a restrained puppet to such a terrible husband.

[@lauracolombo8197]

Totally agree. Unfortunately DV is still alive and well in today’s society. The reason why someone would have to do “ too much labour “ is only because they are being forced / controlled / dominated in someway (if not they would leave). “It’s not love if you make her”… well that’s rape isn’t it? But it’s ok if rape happens in a relationship?? Because that happens and is something women find incredibly hard to go to anyone about…. You are married right?? It can’t be sexual assault and rape if you’re married/partnered?! Apparently it’s fine to rape your wife (and I’m not talking consensual kink stuff here). Chances of anyone ever finding out are pretty slim. Entertaining on the surface as it can’t be that bad, a sort of comedy….but actually pretty horrific if you realise there is nothing historical about the struggle. It is still going strong, in far, far too many “homes”. Look out for your fellow humans. Speak up. It’s never ok.

[@uh-ohspaghettio7826]

I actually take issue with your part about men not understanding this, I think it's the complete opposite. Something women don't seem to be aware of which is demonstrated in your response is that women are actually at less general risk of violence from men than men are in general. Socially men know that if you cross a man's boundaries socially that there's a good chance it can lead to violence but given the cultural view of men hitting women there is far less likely chances that a woman crossing a man's boundary will cause a physical altercation.

[@JOhnJohnson-xg6sq]

@@uh-ohspaghettio7826 Ok, come back and say that again when 137 men die a day at the hands of their gfs/wives

[@nkimbarrios576]

Yeah and the title of the song labor has double meaning

[@d00dledigital]

Yes it’s about the personal but also the historical/political. Women throughout most of history have been defined by their biological function as childbearers - the title ‘Labour’ is not an accidental reference. This is a clever and beautiful piece of songwriting, thanks for featuring it.

[@miew8204]

There is a very good reason why "Labour" is also used to discribe childbirth.

[@LiaaaaaaaaAAAAAHH]

This song is really hitting big here in the states. A lot of women are relating to it due to the influx of abortion bans and general restrictions on female autonomy. The verse about not wanting to have a daughter and leaving to “undo this mistake” and in general not wanting to go into labor really hits with that in mind.

[@missstorrm]

Woah... I'd did not think abt this verse as abortion before. Thank you, you unraveled another layer of this song for me.

[@autumngrace3915]

Even more so now. Women are dying and we just reelected the man who overturned Roe V Wade

[@Parula06]

I'm an outlier in your audience, I guess: female, much older. Does sound a bit like Hozier, I agree. I'm intimately familiar with everything she sings about here. She's not lying one bit. To men who may feel defensive in response to this, I suggest you listen. She's telling you about her lived experience, not trying to describe who you are inside.

[@stereophonicsmom]

Yes! 🙌🏼

[@thejollysloth5743]

The words “lived experience” are one of the banes of the last few years. We all have lived experiences l, it’s called being alive! Insofar as doing all the “emotional labour”, men and women process emotions differently. This is not something that can be wished away or considered a “social construct”. Men and women were both trapped in the past. Women would have to do housework and men would be expected to do backbreaking Labour, unless they were part of the gentry. Both men and women in these upper classes barely did anything as they had servants or slaves to do everything for them. For everyone else it was one set of nasty Jobs for women, and another set for men. For anyone, man or woman, trapped in unfulfilling relationship in modern day, get out and find something better.

[@kitacorrentin]

​@CackityCack and considering how much women tolerate in relationships when we're younger, that's saying something... Let's all live peacefully together and cut each other some slack... the way things are going most people won't have lasting relationships, we'll all end up alone, porn-addicted and talking to cam-people/AI. Including girls and queers :/

[@kitacorrentin]

@CackityCack 😂 this answer. Undoubtedly better than being in an exploitative, unequal relationship. I do want a death partner to share convos/time/sex with, but if they're not a good person, it's not all that.

[@jimbanda]

If in doubt.... Get out!! , If there has been violence even once, get out and do not ever agree to a "let's meet up and sort out detail, just the two of us" , out is out , have somebody at your back until a violent person is well distanced.

[@nicola.00]

Part of the 12% - when I first heard this song it was like a kick in the guts, especially the bit about “false incompetence”. With Gen X hitting the menopause and the stark realities of our experience with men now front and centre, and this new generation who are no longer willing to pretend these things don’t exist, I think this will be a continuing conversation.

[@jovanastoj6076]

Serbian

[@terriann3031]

A year later and it's the gen x women who primarily contributed in the betrayal of the women of America by voting for Trump. I too am a gen x woman and the choice they made is incomprehensible to me.

[@grantharlow]

This hit a little too close to home. I strive to be supportive and "do my part" but the words "you make me do too much labor" provoked some uncomfortable introspection. I could do more. Thanks for this video!

[@sophialeejhonson]

That's really good to ear!

[@felixhenson9926]

Thank you for listening.

[@artemis754]

doing your part is also calling out to other people who display this behavior. assholes only thrive when other people are complacent.

[@Moongoddess3336]

I'm SO SO happy you're reacting to this song. Paris completely encapsulates female rage in such a beautiful way. Thank you for featuring her!

[@allclass87]

Except for the part where he completely misses the point of it and then doubles down by going ‘ugh, now I have to go clean my kitchen and take care of my child.’

[@emmavink]

​@@allclass87he doesn't miss the point of it and he doesn't praise himself for doing those things. He has a very realistic groan of "urgh, domestic work sucks". Like all human beings do. He is trying to make his predominantly male audience less defensive (which is a very human initial reaction) and talking in a way that brings some levity to a really hard hitting topic. He is physically showing men how to engage with this kind of important critique without minimising it's importance. He is there. In his house. He is actively parenting his child. He is not even questioning whether it is a given that he participates in his household labour. Don't shit on men who show the fk up. He is showing up for his family. No one gets every single nuance of a song on an initial, raw reaction. There are over enough not good men in the world to battle with. Save your energy for them. Not for a guy who is being a very positive example.

[@pattimann1541]

Generational guilt, yes, for raising my daughter to think that women take on the bulk of the domestic and emotional labour at home, even if they're working outside the home (thankfully she's figured that shit out and isn't having it). I've always worked full time plus, and always equally carried my weight financially in my four long-term relationships with men (including my current one), yet despite that I've also always been expected to take care of the home, the pets, the children, everything. It wasn't until I was older that I started fighting to to ensure that my time and efforts were seen as equally important as the other person's - and even now I still have to fight for it (God, I have such a bad picker). It's grueling AF as a woman to work a stressful full-time day job, try to fulfill my visions and dwindling career goals as a visual artist, and do all the heavy lifting in taking care of a family and household too, yet I've let this be my life. I wish I'd learned sooner, I wish I'd had this song when I was in my 30's or 20's.

[@MxEverybody]

Oof this song really blew past you didn’t it? This isn’t about “a type of relationship where the bloke doesn’t do much”… it’s about the bone-deep exhaustion of generations of women carrying the massive weight of impossible amounts of work and constant awareness and putting other before you while being completely under appreciated and used

[@ScattercatJackrabbit]

I've been trying to find a single video where a man analyses this song and doesn't totally miss the point and so far, no luck.

[@SomethingHereIsAbitFruity]

@@ScattercatJackrabbitTouchy Reactions is the only reaction channel I found where the man did a pretty good analyzing the songs.

[@ezgivarol5782]

It is quite telling that almost all the men reacting to the video think that this is only about history.

[@lyz.i]

Yeah it’s disappointing

[@Spid.E-girl]

​@@ScattercatJackrabbitTWreactz did a pretty good one! Even picked up on the pomegranate symbolism. 😍

[@bethcushway458]

I'm 46 and this song represents mine and all my friends'lived experiences. Two of us have gotten divorced partly because of it. It grinds you down til you're a shell of your former self and you no longer even know who you are anymore because you are giving everything to your husband/partner, kids, house and job and have literally no time for yourself. Something has to give and when your partner won't change, in spite of you spelling out your needs, then it's your relationship. I think the BBC TV comedy series "Motherland" and the film "Bad Moms" are great examples of this.

[@Shalamalabingbong]

I'm an Irish woman who was raised Catholic, I don't think I have room for any more generational guilt 😂

[@AutumnTrees]

Amen

[@CJo582]

I just laughed so hard at this I dropped my damn phone...

[@annab704]

I watch you and I’m female

[@milanforever7014]

As a male hardcore atheist you stil have all my sympathy :)))

[@karina-annen]

I am half ethnically German (mom was born in Brazil though) and half Irish-American Catholic, I don't think anyone can beat me in terms of generational guilt!

[@Orla02]

As a 20yo woman who loves your videos, I appreciate you creating an inviting, non-toxic space to discuss good music. I think the themes in the song ring true for people no matter what time in history. It's easy to think that because women's rights are advancing 'women are treated equally now' but the story Paris Paloma tells is just a glimpse of what many of us still face this day. Toxic relationships might not involve any physical abuse, slipping under the radar perhaps even in the eyes of the people in the relationship. While I can't relate to the story, I can really empathise with the message behind it. I know of many relationships in which the man puts less effort in compared to the woman. It could be the other way round of course. Anyway, great video! xx

[@corail53]

The comments section is pretty toxic.

[@Big_BadaBom]

The comment section is pretty censored.

[@thecerealsong]

Thank you for not shying from subject matter that is likely to spark defensiveness among some of the individuals who make up 88% of your audience. It's the sort of thing that can help those in the remaining 12% to feel less alone.

[@criviette]

This made me think of King by Florence & the Machines. As a 47 years old single/childless woman, I relate more to this other experience. But I guess it boils down to the same social constructs facing women: choices that are not really choices in the end. The pyjama and glasses look felt oddly appropriate for this video. Cheers.

[@JustinHawkinsRidesAgain]

Thank you!

[@amandam.4841]

I'm a 35 yr old woman in a 3 year relationship with a man, and even though he's a really great partner, this still echoes. The labour isn't really the labour for most of us...its the initiative. My partner would willingly and properly do anything i asked...but why do i have to see it first, acknowledge it, and ask before he even "sees" it? Dishes were in the sink a week because i was really sick. He took excellent care of me, but the dishes sat there. The first day i felt well enough to be out of bed for 30 consecutive minutes, i washed the dishes -- he tried to stop me, said he'd do them but...why did i have to do them for him to notice? It seems silly, but those moments can really waterfall into a situation where nothing gets done unless I delegate or do it myself, and can be such a gradual slide...my partner used to do a weekly deep clean on the house we (still) live in on Sundays when we started dating..now i dont remember the last time he wiped down the bathroom sink. I dont resent it, and we talk about it when its necessary, but he's very good to me. I can't imagine the weight and trauma if this song echoed AND came with an abusive or otherwise neglectful partner.

[@lel_uk]

Another woman here, thank you for discussing the topic in a very adult way and recognising that not all men are misogynists and not all women are victims of misogyny but many are. I am very well versed in being not only wife but also cook, cleaner, accountant, nurse etc... I hope the younger generation who seem to be flooded with celebrity and social media morals find a way to have better partnerships based on good communication and a shared perspective. I enjoyed the song and your views on it, I also loved the Pyjamas in fact i was wearing mine again! well i'd better put the bins out :P - keep up the great work.

[@jana181]

As a women I feel so connected to this song. Collective female rage is powerful.

[@Big_BadaBom]

Lol

[@open8180]

Woman here, I feel like you missed the point of the song. It's not about a specific type of relationship it's about the aspect that society expects women to take care of the home, the children should there be any, to keep the house clean and the husband fed and happy. To give up everything for him, to take what he gives her with grace and a smile. But that's too much. Being the one to keep the peace, to care for the children, to cook the food, to do the chores, to run the errands, to listen and listen and listen when he complains and God forbid he's abusive. You're expected to take it, to let him do those things, to hit you because "you shouldn't have upset him". The line "so he never lifts a finger" doesn't just mean so he doesn't have to work it also means so he doesn't fucking hit her. "It's not an act of love if you make her" is literally calling out sometimes husband's force themselves on their wives because "she's my wife so I can sleep with her whenever I want" when it's still fucking rape! If she doesn't want it then it's not an act of love it's rape! It's not just a love letter to the women in our past it's a god damn cry of anger. All day every day women are constantly put down by men and then expected to hold up society but one woman takes a step out of social norms and society gets upset! Yes I know not all men are like this but there's enough that are that it's a problem! Society makes us do too much labor and we're sick and tired of it

[@harrypike5140]

Labour of society overall is literally upheld by men. It'd collapse if men stopped working lol. Men and women have equal labour just in different aspects. Men are the main financial earners in most relationships and women expect that. Society and women will view you as a loser and failure as a man if you're poor or you don't make much money. Issues on both sides. It is what it is.

[@evasmiljanic3529]

This. I relate to this song and I've never dated a man. But I was raised in a family that has these sorts of relations between men and women.

[@open8180]

@@evasmiljanic3529 My parents had this type of relationship and I've tried very hard to avoid one like it as well. I've ended up running from many men because they turned out to be like my father more than once. It's one of the reasons I refuse to have children, I won't raise them in a world where this kind of thing happens.

[@Plumeria6460]

65 year old female who is fascinated with this channel, the music and your wardrobe choices. You even make pajamas look cool. 🔥💥

[@Dave062YT]

Sorry but youtube statstics say that in fact you are a man .Who knew ??

[@SuziQ.]

@@Dave062YT , I’m not a man. I’m just another aging female who likes JHRA’s content, and his ear for pitch. YT knows f*ck all about its statistics.

[@julescorry6270]

Thanks for doing this one! The getting fucking tired line hit me so hard the first time I listened to this song. The overlap of voices is so powerful too, like women from down the generations joining in

[@felixhenson9926]

Absolutely understand that. For me it was 'it's not an act of love if you make her'

[@Lois_Lame]

I love the song. I think the theme rings true with the expectations of many (but not all) men in relationships with women. Especially if you have children. It's not just house stuff, that's only a small part of the mental load dragging women down. Her ethereal but angry sound reminds me of Marina and The Diamonds, an artist I really liked.

[@erlstone]

funnily, never met one man like this in my life... maybe I got lucky

[@Dylord21]

​@@erlstoneMaybe you're a healthy individual who doesn't choose to be around toxic people. I used to be in bad circles, then I chose not to be and my entire life changed. A lot of times people end up in bad situations because of their decisions, but that is not something we ever talk about today since victimhood is glamorous.

[@jadieevans9222]

@@Dylord21 lmao.

[@sariunan]

@@erlstone lucky

[@corail53]

@@sariunan You make that choice. If you are stuck in such a relationship - leave simple as that, you get one life why bother wasting it with someone you resent.

[@NikkLiberos]

6:00 it's called canon, like the one that bloke Pachelbel wrote once. On the song itself, it's indeed powerful. We have been brought up to think males are the breadwinners and females stay in the house, and even if both the male and the female are supporting the household economically we are still thinking that females should keep that role instead of splitting it up as evenly as possible. So yeah, I'm gonna have to let that marinate for a second.

[@DonnaMacauley]

Right, it can also be called a round if it repeats on itself.

[@jlunch]

This is stretto as it's layering upon itself but not with identical material. A canon or a round is precisely the same material merely offest by when it occurs. Stretto is somewhat similar to a fugue but with less stringent rules.

[@princess20-sideddie95]

@@jlunch I'm only a music fan, not a professional, but I thought maybe he was thinking of counterpoint. If you don't mind explaining, what would be the difference between counterpoint and stretto?

[@jlunch]

@@princess20-sideddie95 Hello, sure thing. Counterpoint has more to do with vertical voicings. Take any Bach chorale for example. There are 4 voices. Let's say the soprano line moves up an interval in the next chord. Through the use of counterpoint, lyrical lines in all four voices are created. Top line may move up, bass line would then move down (countering). The two middle voices may swap their placement in the chords themselves to create interesting lines through creative voicings of the harmonic movement. Counterpoint always directly influences the chord voicings in a vertical way, creating interest in a horizontal and lyrical way. A traditional rock band (1 guitar, bass, drums and vocals) will rarely get into counterpoint as all the guitar work is done by one player and mostly in block harmony. Double lead guitars can sometimes get into counterpoint and especiallyh if the bass player is really good. If the bass player is voicing the things in the same way as the guitarist, counterpoint isn't happening. Hopefully that makes some sense. If not, I will try again later. Let me know and I will do better.

[@princess20-sideddie95]

@@jlunch Thanks for the reply, always love to learn more. If I'm understanding correctly, stretto would be two lines doing their own, independent thing, but interacting in pleasing ways where counterpoint is lines having their own lyrical line, interacting in pleasing ways,but always in relation to each other, rather than independently, so to speak?

[@valerieshafer9867]

All the Symbolism & Meaning that you missed: -He is the MASTER at the HEAD OF HIS HIGH TABLE -She tends the orchards, fixes the gables, fetches the water, and made the entire feast you see her laying before him -BUT she cannot eat until he COMMANDS her she is permitted to (even though she prepared it all) -The island is their MARRIAGE, and she is AT THE END OF HER ROPE -She has an ESCAPE PLAN, carefully timed although still PERILESS for her -CAPILLARIES in your eyes can burst during childbirth AND all forms of HEAVY LABOR -She repeatedly asks herself if it would be so bad if their love ENDS (HINT: NOT FOR HER and her role in their marriage) -She thought they would have a partnership, a love story, THAT HE WOULD BE HER KNIGHT IN ARMOUR AND SAVE HER... -BUT NO, he makes her do TOO MUCH LABOUR (And all of it is unpaid, unappreciated, and assumed) -She lights her candle, which is a metaphor for her energy. It is very short, BUT his remains UNLIT AND TALL -She is expected to apologize ALWAYS, but he NEVER DOES AS HE IS TOO BUSY BEING SERVED AT THE HIGH TABLE -He weaponizes FALSE INCOMPETENCE. he knows perfectly well how to preform all the tasks women do BUT STILL EXPECTS HER TO DO THEM, BELIEVING IT IS HER "ROLE" -If their marriage produces a Daughter, she would be HELPLESS TO SAVE HER from the same generational exploitation -He taps his glass to "SUMMON" HER to clear his scraps and she gets up with a new plate and glass, BUT HESITATES...... -She DEFIES HIM BY EATING, something HE HAS NOT GIVEN HER PERMISSION TO DO AS YET -She iconically chooses A POMOGRANTE, AN ANCIENT SYMBOL OF THE DIVINE FEMININE to eat -AS she eats the fruit, the juice bursts and splashes LIKE BLOOD ALL OVER HER as the chorus plays.....ALL DAY EVERY DAY..... -In the second chorus, she is joined with a CHORUS OF YOUNG GIRLS IN THE BACKGROUND JOINIING IN RAGE.... -IT'S NOT AN ACT OF LOVE IF YOU FORCE any woman, EVEN YOUR WIFE, into having domestic relations with you -He laughs at her DISOBEDIANCE, SHAKES HIS HEAD AND LOWERS HIS GAZE..... -But when he looks up again, his smile fades because SHE IS GONE AND HER CANDLE IS COMPLETELY OUT --***Symbolic of men being asked why their wives left them, and they say "I have no idea, she just left!"

[@ZuzuTheLemon]

It warms my heart to see you make space for this sort of conversation, as one of the 12% I really appreciate it.

[@jeffreyflint6286]

Nothing wrong with sharing your life experiences through your music. I rely on my own as I write songs my self. We all need to Express ourselves as people. Female or male everyone has those experiences. Nicely done!👍👍🤟🤟

[@NinStardust]

Definitely has a Hosier feel to it but it really reminded me of The Civil Wars. Paris’ voice and style of singing is very similar to Joy Williams and the musical arrangement is reminiscent of them too. It’s good to hear someone picking up where The Civil Wars left off. As for the theme of the song, it seems to be a bit of a trend at the moment, perhaps in juxtaposition to the popularity of certain misogynistic influencers across social media? Whatever the reason, if it promotes healthy, balanced relationships then I’m all for it! Feels a bit like a warning to not take your partner for granted. Appreciate them or they might just leave.

[@walksinthedarkness]

I hope it convinces some folks that it's okay for them to move on. They're referred to as your partner for a reason, if they're not giving back then you need to sit down and have a serious conversation about that stuff. Life is too bloody short not to.

[@16poetisa]

God I miss The Civil Wars, it's been ten years now since their final album.

[@feelinguru-vywiththepaingu9808]

Your jammies are just fine, Justin. They look comfy. And I'm wearing mine, right this second. I'm 60, and I remember having just that kind of relationship and how much it sucked, especially when both of us worked. But even without housework, dealing with the emotions of a bad relationship is labor. I still see articles on "how to keep a man." So it seems we aren't completely out of that poisonous, societal hole.

[@sharongascoigne6065]

I'm staggered that your audience is so male dominated. I expected it to be weighted that way but not by quite so high a margin. I appreciate that rock music seems to appeal more to men, even these days but this channel offers such a lot more than that. I'm a 53 year old woman and I love being here, even if I don't comment very often. It's the first time I've heard Paris Paloma's music and I now want to hear more.

[@Leviathandk]

KZbin as a whole is male dominated... So almost any channel will have a large ratio of male viewers.

[@sghmd8425]

Female and frequent JHRA viewer here. Full endorsement of this video. In the workplace, this theme really strikes a chord (sorry), even in 2023. Thank you for taking care of your kiddo and cleaning up the kitchen, Justin! ❤ Nice one!

[@rudetuesday]

I'm a regular viewer from the smaller category of the demographic mentioned at the top of your video, and am likely older than a fair number of viewers overall. I'm always glad when music comes from a genuine place of rich emotion and presents a solid point of view. There are other types of music that do different things, songs from women talking about the sour parts of life have always been in songs. Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, and other singer-songwriters have definitely written from this too-familiar place.

[@ashleywood0009]

I love this song. As a woman, you can’t help but sing it with all your power. Even with your incredible husband who is your partner in everything and doesn’t make you do too much labor side eyeing next to you in the car 🫣😬😂

[@TheHestya]

Yeah, you feel the pain of all the women even if you've gotten one of the good ones. I had crap ones before him myself so I feel my own pain too.

[@puffdaddy1159]

I 100% agree with the fact you think it’s based on a specific type of toxic relationship where one just takes takes takes I love how she feeds herself at the end before she leaves cool message

[@MEGQuilts]

Look at what she chooses to eat, too. Symbolic of fertility, strength and wisdom, but looks like a bloody mess- pretty much her part of the relationship- but also how Hades forced Persephone to stay in Hell.

[@Nat-rc8kl]

Very happy to be one of the 12% of females. ❤

[@izabelasiczek3547]

48 year old female here LOVE your vidoes and everything that you share with us. Love from Chester from a polish nurse.

[@Glamrockqueen]

59yr old female here, and I've been watching you for months.

[@wesleydixon7671]

Powerful! It definitely made me think I could be doing more to help my lady with household chores!

[@mary-janebelec9082]

Please don't think of it a "helping with HER chores"! The work also belongs to YOU! Think of it as doing YOUR part, not just helping her.

[@wesleydixon7671]

@@mary-janebelec9082 excellent point! Thank you!

[@SuziQ.]

@@mary-janebelec9082 , He said “household chores,” not “her household chores”. Poor guy. You can tell when someone edits. He didn’t.

[@wesleydixon7671]

@suziq2202 someone always has to correct a statement based on their own perception, I realized after I commented that I would most likely get some negative feedback from someone, that's why I decided just to say thank you and not attempt to explain why I said what I said or how it relates to me and my relationship with my wife. To be clear, we are a great team! I couldn't have a better partner in crime! what I was trying to suggest was that there's always room for improvement, we could all be doing more for each other! I appreciate your comment!

[@ViciousTuna2012]

@@wesleydixon7671 It's easy for people to be like that on the internet because they're not staring in your eyes, face to face. I've done it myself. It's something I'm trying to change about how I interact with people, especially seeing how the world is becoming increasingly online. If we keep going down this path we have to be more aware of how the way we talk to each other not only influences our peers, but what kind of example it sets for young people. They read all this shit and it's not healthy social interaction a lot of the time.

[@terribarnett4643]

Proud to be part of the 12% club! I too got Hozier vibes from the way this song is structured. Shows a lot of gumption, talking of gumption, perfect for cleaning kitchens. One for comments day - would you consider bringing The Struts with you on your Australian Tour? What a banging show that would be - two of the great frontmen on one bill 🤞🏻🙌

[@katie5403]

I dont believe this to be a historic retrospective at all. I had a "progressive" relationship with a man where we were married for 12 years and the envy of all of our friends and family. I carried every ounce of emotional labor in raising our children and supporting our family. It is the world that society brings us up in. My husband is a feminist that even in all of his feminism is blind to the emotional needs of the people around him. When he went to work everyone said "boo hoo he has to go off and be away from his children" but no one took a moment to appreciate the elaborate orchestra of support behind him that made it possible. The majority of men get the domestic bliss because someone is breaking their back behind the scenes to make it possible. Some hetero relationships are even partnerships, but society as a whole wasn't built on that. The historian quoted at the beginning of your video was correct about the past and it still holds true today. Thanks for covering this song. It's a great rallying cry for women who are exhausted by screaming into the void.

[@JOhnJohnson-xg6sq]

Women have been emotionally exhausted for generations. Men have been emotionally stunted/repressed for generations. Both are damaging.

[@katie5403]

@@JOhnJohnson-xg6sq But are they the same, John? A man's inability to grow the fuck up isn't a woman's responsibility or burden. And yet the shit will always run downhill to women.

[@JOhnJohnson-xg6sq]

@@katie5403 I know

[@kitacorrentin]

Love to see the comments of other women in this audience, just wanted to say that. Justin is so wholesome, fr

[@NinStardust]

88% of the JHRA audience might be male, but I bet more than 12% of the commenters are female! Got to be 25% at least! 🤔 wonder why that is? 😅🥰

[@SuziQ.]

It seems like there are a lot more than 12% of us.

[@bluestoneangels9422]

Oh please DO wear your PJ's again Justin!! Most fetching indeed. As always, your insights - both musical and otherwise - are a refreshing breeze across the humid and turgid vapors of this pesky thing we call "The Interwebs" (or whatever the kids are calling it these days...) Keep it up Bruz, and as we say down here in Melbourne: You're a F#@*ing Legend!!!!!!

[@steph_ssdd]

The mental load is real people! Very dapper PJs Justin 👌.

[@lauriesmith4575]

It's everything- she managed to encompass every ounce of female rage from every generation throughout history in one song. This song is for the women history has forgotten, the women who were forced to give up their dreams at the demand of men, either through marriage, or through institutionalisation, who have had patents for things *they've* created, stolen by men who reaped the rewards instead, for all the women who were ridiculed and arrested and abused for wanting something as simple the right to cast a vote in an election, for the women- especially those in America- who are suffering due to forced abortion bans in red states, who are stuck in abusive relationships, or who have been raised to be parents to younger siblings from childhood. This song is historical generational feminine rage at its finest.

[@Wantedpresents]

Thank you Justin, for dealing with these potentially very controversial subjects with such tact and humour. Great channel!

[@jessejames128]

My parents split over stuff like this. Expectaions of roles and duties in the home. Access to an equal living of life by both humans with needs and desires in the relationship. Fairness. Life isn't fair, but humans make a conscious decision to be unfair, for whatever reasons. Hopefully more of us can see this way, perceive from anothers point of view, and gleen empathy from it. And change, as my father did. And I'm proud of him for it. A lot of knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers out here still these days. Oh and ROCK 'N' ROOOOOLLLLLLLL 🤘

[@staceydavid9122]

Female - 30’s! I’ve always counted myself lucky to have never really experienced this from anyone in my personal life. I had good family and ended up with a good man who doesn’t make me feel like a member of staff & I think we both do our share. I guess the historical look of the video makes me think of it more from that perspective. Having said that I work with people in my job & encounter plenty of women this would apply to. Also sometimes men this would apply to.

[@dawn8293]

I'm a woman who left a more traditional religion. This song makes me grateful I married after I left, and that I will not be passing on such values to my children.

[@jenniferrichardson8474]

I love that you did the video in your pj's. Goes to show how down to earth you are.

[@johngatewood4638]

Good to hear another thoughtful take on a very well constructed song, by an artist who's works I will be checking out.

[@alexarobinson2850]

I really love that you shared some of what the artist's intent was for this one up front, so that people could appreciate it a little more.

[@BryannaHitchcock]

Thanks for covering this song and keeping it real about your life and the dishes. :) This song is a revelation.

[@Mialamorena1]

Don’t apologize for the jammies Mr. Hawkins. You look quite cozy. As a purposefully single 58 year old woman, the song lyrics are timeless and universal. They fit with the still existing but perhaps unspoken paradigm that a woman is responsible for a man’s emotional well being… like it’s some additional work expected because “ women are softer and more emotional. “ I’m going to listen to the song to more closely understand the lyrics. Thanks for this👍🏾😃😃😃

[@laladoopsy]

I once went out to a club called The Met Lounge in Peterborough. This weird tit in a catsuit came out and sung oldschool style rock They did a cover of Street Spirit. I loved the audacity of it all! About 20 years on, my daughter gets into that bands music after watching The Masked Singer and I'm watching this beautiful tit on a KZbin vid entertaining me. This tit and his band are also making better music than they were 20 years or so. Love you man.

[@witch_haunts_ghost]

The PJ's were so nice! You gave off an even more relaxed vibe. I thought it was ace and I'm wearing my pj's and drinking coffee while watching, so I feel a morning chat vibe. The song is interesting, good on her for tackling this ongoing issue in this song. It is an ongoing issue, but I think it stretches further to workplace pay gaps, risk of homelessness for women and poverty in general, let alone, disparity of work in the workplace and at home. I agree that men should listen open heartedly and with an open mind, rather go on the defensive or 'alpha male' status and just empathise. Plus, close the work and pay gap! Girls to the front!

[@kittykattadam7564]

You make pj's look good. I love the sound and depth, a darkness to the music. As for the topic, I can relate due to life experiences and yes has likely left a residue that changes how I approach relationships, or if I even want or need one

[@mary-janebelec9082]

Female here, almost 66 & a big fan of yours. Patriarchy exists...😢

[@MrHart373]

Justin's "response" to this video as he is the one with the child, while working, and then stating he is going to tend the kitchen chores after, as do many men these days, is a testament to how times have changed.

[@MusicOrLoseItTV]

I first thought she was going to be another monotone Monica then the song takes off. Powerful indeed

[@thefountainhead6175]

❤

[@rockmoussealt7764]

Thoughtful comments on this piece. Your intro as to how to approach evaluating this new material was so effective. Love the PJs.

[@zogh88]

12% here too. In fact, I'm here a lot. Almost every day. I have gardening to do, yet here I am in my pjs listening to, and appreciating, Justin. Methodical thinking, hilarious, thoughtful. In terms of the song, give me Neneh Cherry any day.

[@nelliek3172]

Also an outlier 😊 proud to be in the 12%. Like the song

[@davidhall2018]

Fantastic song! Very powerful and while likely written as a means of expressing their feelings of a woman’s suppression and exploitation by her male partner, but really it fits for anybody who has felt used and abused in a relationship.

[@Satellitegirl41]

44 woman here. Love your channel! Definitely get the Hozier comparison. Thanks for bringing my attention to this song. Great stuff!

[@scottyf7512]

Writng music certainly allows me to add my personal thoguhts and feelings into my tunes. It has and can be therapy on tricky subjects without having to bare your soul to somebody else. See you on the ice mate!

[@ericMT]

When the vocal parts overlap, they used to call that singing “in the round”.

[@667neighbourofthebeast]

Solo dad of two incredible children here. No fiscal or physical assistance of any kind. I did my best.

[@Levyathyn]

Easily my track of the year. Such a powerful piece of writing, and an important one. And there's multiple meanings of "labour" when discussing women, women's rights, and the historical treatment of or allowances for women, which persist to this day in... well, pretty much everywhere, probably more often and pervasively than the average citizen of a so-called first-world-country would believe. I've never checked whether this was a debut song for Paris Paloma, because it doesn't really matter; she made herself known with labour, and it made an impact that transcends what the average individual--even in music--is usually capable of.

[@Rocksarum]

I liked the message of this song more than Meghan Trainor's (though I also miss a guitar solo, or maybe a cowbell😉). We must remember history to avoid some things happen again. The only phrase I'd disagree is when she says: "For somebody I thought was my savior". I understand that she's refering to a past context, but we don't need any saviour, we need "Somebody to love"...

[@TK-oq9yf]

It’s anthem. I agree with your analysis. I think it also is speaking to the historical struggle of all women, no matter their ethnicity.

[@sherynp9340]

No one should be with anyone that makes them feel this way, male or female. I find it hard to believe that 88% of viewers are male. I thought it would be 50/50. I’m female, 40 and here to stay regardless 😊

[@Wildatheart81ridesagain]

Female here, in your age bracket 😂. Having been married twice, I sure do pick em' I can safely say that the songs lyrics speak a truth that is over looked by many as "man goes to work, woman goes to work, looks after the house, kids, emotions, desicions, cooking, cleaning you name it" however its just not ALL men so those being defensive perhaps there's a reason? The song is powerful in itself, but it doesn't mean it's labelling all partners, as there's some lazy women out there too... thank you for bringing this song to my attention though, I feel the need to rummage through her other gifts to the music industry to see where this goes. Apologies for the late view today, its been a hectic day travelling London. Fabulous as always Justin xxx

[@Dave_Bean]

Age bracket? That could be 1 second or 100 years 😂 I’m in the Old Testament age bracket

[@Wildatheart81ridesagain]

@Vidiot187 That's lovely for you, being that old must be exhausting. No wonder you are sitting posting lovely comments on other people's opinions🤣... clearly I'm in my 40s.

[@Dave_Bean]

@@Wildatheart81ridesagain it’s very exhausting being 5000 years old

[@Wildatheart81ridesagain]

@@Dave_Bean absolutely 😄 cannot imagine it personally.

[@Dave_Bean]

@@Wildatheart81ridesagain just imagine being 40 then add 5000, easy peasy lol

[@cherwilkes4564]

Domestic Dad looks good on Justin. Although the video felt disjointed the lyrics were powerful and I get it. Paloma's vocals are ethereal love her.

[@xmarkhimselfx]

That "who knowsier" comment at the end!!! ha!

[@16poetisa]

Guilt, no. Responsibility, definitely. Absolutely makes me think of history.

[@Shivelpuff23]

I think this song speaks to modern relationships as well as modern ones, there's so much hangover still from historical roles. But I also feel like we need to talk about the pomegranate more, and what that symbolises.

[@TheBoneLady_8731]

My ex was a misogynistic bastard.... coz I'm a female, I was supposed to come home from work, cook dinner, clean the house, do the laundry (everything essentially) and coz he was the male he literally said it wasn't his job to help around the house (well his exact words were 'I shouldn't have to come home from work and be expected to clean up, that's your job') that relationship was toxic.... he abused me every which way except physically and now 8 years later I still have moments where I react defensively to my husband coz I've misunderstood something he's said

[@dianalog4760]

I immediately heard U2's very beautiful song 'One' when it started playing. Same chords. Comparing the lyrics of the 2 songs is really interesting, especially if you play with applying it to both male and female perspectives, or as a duet. One Song by U2 Is it getting better? Or do you feel the same? Will it make it easier on you now? You got someone to blame You say, one love, one life When it's one need in the night One love, we get to share it Leaves you baby if you don't care for it Did I disappoint you? Or leave a bad taste in your mouth? You act like you never had love And you want me to go without Well it's too late tonight To drag the past out into the light We're one but we're not the same We get to carry each other, carry each other One! Have you come here for forgiveness? Have you come to raise the dead? Have you come here to play Jesus To the lepers in your head? Did I ask too much? More than a lot You gave me nothin' now it's all I got We're one but we're not the same We hurt each other then we do it again You say love is a temple, love a higher law Love is a temple, love a higher law You ask me to enter but then you make me crawl And I can't be holdin' on to what you got When all you got is hurt One love, one blood One life, you got to do what you should One life, with each other Sisters, brothers One life but we're not the same We get to carry each other, carry each other One One

[@cynthiajohns0n442]

Love U2 & ONE. Pride is my favorite song but most of their songs are great. Wild Horses is a bit like ONE.

[@wesleydixon7671]

A little appreciation goes a long way!

[@vincentvega53]

You had me at "who knowzier.."

[@user-bj2lu9qt3o]

😂 I'm gonna call him that from now on!

[@mollymoffitt4036]

I watch religiously. I am a woman. Holding up the 20% end. Love that you duplicated the featured artist with a perfect pitch. You are amazing. The pajamas were not a good choice.

[@ellyfish13]

Hi Justin, just wanted to make sure you know she's Paris Paloma NOT Paloma Paris, easy mistake to make with Paloma Faith confusion but just wanted to make sure you knew 😊 Great piece, I've seen Paris live as know her manager, she's awesome live as well, so good to have your support and lovely to see such positive comments ❤

[@AshleighLaney]

I need an essay comparing this song with Meghan trainers ‘Mother’ that you covered recently. Two very different approaches to a similar topic.

[@Oooo-bi7bi]

Loving your bins man. My parents don't act how she suggests and my Dad is a Northerner in his 70's. But I despise men who treat females differently to males. The track is groovy with a constructive positive message . We need true equality .

[@ko6el]

And Cognitive labour, what shall we have for breakfast lunch dinner, is there enough in the cupboard...ad infinitum

[@lapiccolapaula]

Real

[@ko6el]

and sometimes it makes the head, whilst wandering from aisle to aisle none the bloody wiser....reel

[@Anelisa8520]

Whoknowsier! But I love the humanistic world view, and the pajamas, almost as much as that cool, powerful song. Thanks for this, Justin Hawkins (Rides Again)

[@kimberlycoberly6987]

I am the oldest of 4 girls. My Father raised us to be educated, independent and self sufficient. Very lucky I guess.

[@mimilini1]

Very

[@mimilini1]

It is different now to a great degree. This is more of an older, traditional way of raising daughters. We were raised to be subservient and that “the man” would make all the decisions. I really hope it’s not like that for most girls anymore. Truly

[@SuziQ.]

@@mimilini1, My sister and I were raised like Kimberly- to be educated and self sufficient. We’re both in our fifties now. We are quite different, though. She seems to need to be married. I can’t even tolerate a housemate.

[@emiliehall1538]

You do wear pyjamas! Barbara might need her chemise after all 😜

[@thenoodleator]

Loved that you covered this - another artist I'd never heard of. Question for comments day: What is Paul McCartney's best post-Beatles song and why is it "Let Me Roll It"? (Let's pretend "Maybe I'm Amazed" doesn't exist. I'm conflicted.)

[@sues6944]

Maybe I'm Amazed is a wonderful love song to his lovely Linda, but yes, Let me Roll It is good too.

[@davedavem]

Reminiscent of "Does He Wash Up? (He Never Washes Up)" by Alicia Dixon. Joking aside, I'm very guilty of letting my wife do too much and take on most of the "cognitive burden". I'm trying to get better at that.

[@BVRDSTR]

Thxs for the channel 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍 And for riding again AZ

[@wolfmauler]

I must say, Blue Willow pattern china, has always been my favourite. It's just lovely don't you find? 😊

[@popejaimie]

This is a song made to explain why I've never been interested in a relationship lol

[@missymack-z3g]

Enjoyed this Justin! Maybe you could do a Pheobe Bridgers song one day? :)

[@raquelsnt]

I hadn't listened her before, i liked her voice and the music, and your guitar acoustic reinterpretation... you are the maestro for real! I should read the lyric to analyze her message. Thank u one day more, i am cooking "torrijas", a typical Easter meal from here. Hugs to you and every one...

[@Rocksarum]

Torrijas! Yummy😋 Have you tasted the ones done with Horchata?🥛Delicious!!! Happy Easter holidays Raquel!

[@raquelsnt]

@@Rocksarum i haven't tried them...are you from Valencia? Happy Easter from Sevilla!

[@Rocksarum]

@@raquelsnt Yes!😊 👋

[@matthewriddell4778]

Hi Justin, loving the channel. As a teen I saw the Darkness play in Glasgow around 2004 promoting the classic debut album with Ash in support. My favourite memory from that night is you playing a guitar solo above the audience while riding a (fake) tiger/leopard!! Fun memories and inspiring for a fellow guitarist like myself 😀 I have an album out and if you ever have the time to listen to any of the tracks, any feedback would be greatly appreciated - Matt Riddell Our Deadly Souls Cheers MR

[@stavroulamistrioti2709]

This song is more potent if viewed from the perspective of a woman addressing society in general. The labour imbalance between women and men is not an issue created or solved between individuals. It is counterproductive and downright divisive to be seen in such a way. The point is that our system thrives on slave labour, and those deemed as “minorities” within it (anyone who is not a straight white male) is vulnerable to exploitation, which is explained away as a biological or religious imperative. It is not a matter of men against women. Injustice is societal and systemic and should be treated as such.

[@mary-janebelec9082]

Not thought provoking. It's what the majority of what women live every day. It's affirming, rather. Is the vocal thing that you were referring to called a descant? Love the channel. Yes! Think about your daughter & relationships.

[@CJo582]

Hello, another female here up in your comments haha. I found it interesting (and am more curious about you and your stance on "tradition" vs. "modern progressive" gender roles) especially when you intro'ed with being your kid to work day lol. I do wonder (as a childless single woman) about if you ever reflect on gender equality differently after becoming a father, and does art like this influence you differently, or do you take things like this with a grain of salt in terms of how the future will be shaped for your child and future generations? Honest question, I appreciate your perspective, as we're total opposites, for i k how jack shit about music composition lol. ❤& ☮, sir.

[@dwayneopdyke7615]

Reading through the comments I feel that several people touch on the real issue. It's not about traditional gender roles exactly. It's about the value the many men were raised to believe that the bread winner's contribution is worth more than the stay at home partner's contribution. So many times that person's "labor" is not appreciated as much because it's not as tangible. IMHO I believe that mentality is slowly going away. Especially now that so many women are the bread winners in the relationship.

[@sadhanapandey1811]

OMG!!! Exactly!! Someone said it!!! Thankyou for saying this!!!

[@danika9411]

The problem I see in my homecountry is that you have 2 roles now. Being a breadwinner and raising the children and doing chores around the house. There is something called mental load. It means all the little things you need to remember and plan out from the shoe size of your children to plan what you're going to cook and remember all the likes and dislikes, to knowing everyones history of sicknesses and knowing which is the favorite plushy that definetly helps with sleeping, when your child had a nightmare. Men often don't know these things enough and don't care to learn and remember. They want it easy, they want everything to run smoothly, but often don't understand how much work that takes. And it can be stressful to explain all of this to your partner over and over again. Plus it often leads nowhere, he might just find you annoying and become mean. I have been in a relationship like that. I'm happily single now ✌️

[@suzanne1609]

I think this is really thought provoking. As a woman I think we do play many different roles and if you're not careful you can get lost and forget who you were before x, y or z happened. But if you don't speak up nothing will change! On the other side though I do believe a lot of men are recognising the work we do and are helping out more and showing more appreciation.

[@zeevawyte6817]

Something that hits me every time is how when the backing vocals come in, a lot of them are children. Even from a young age women and girls are expected to do more emotional labor than men and boys. How many times have you heard "Oh, it's just boys being boys" but if girls do the same thing they're "unruly" or "too emotional" Boys get trucks and dinosaurs while girls get baby dolls & barbie houses to practice managing. This isn't just about relationships, it's about how society demands that women hold everything together and push down their own needs for the "greater good" while men get a free pass to not invest unless there's something in it for them. Men who don't want kids are either shrugged off or asked for the reason. Women who don't want kids are told "Oh you will!" or "Of course you do, just wait!" or "Wow, you're so selfish" or "You'll regret it if you don't!" Society doesn't view women as individuals. All they see is a wife or a mother or a caretaker to be. And anyone who doesn't fit into those roles had something wrong with them