Part 1 Story: Low self-esteem _ Awareness & Self Inquiry _ Healing & Releasing Energy || Non-Duality

[@suzanne-chang]

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[@lillierose5304]

Isn't it interesting that a 'sense of self' is encouraged in early childhood education and psychology. I wonder if there's an agenda behind that? What would happen if all of us were aware/awake?

[@jillkelly1329]

I've been intensely on the spiritual path for 35 years and I've come to realize that our"self- hatred" was actually created as a self-defense mechanism in many of us who came into this world as love/light beings who were unprepared for the negativity that exists here on Earth. If we "hated ourselves" then the negativity of this world would stop impingeing upon us. In truth it is actually impossible to "hate ourselves" because we are born in love and everything we do is out of self-love (aka survival/self- protection) so if we learned to "hate ourselves" it must have been for a very good reason, which was self-protection/ survival in this world of negativity.💕🙏

[@TinyMaths]

The story you're telling here is so similar to the stories I've told myself and am probably attached to, the self esteem thing, desire for solitude, the people-pleasing; these are core elements of 'my' story, it's almost alarming to hear someone else tell such a similar story.

[@InnerLuminosity]

She is you🕳️👌😜

[@pawelkurek4010]

Thank you for sincere sharing of your story. I'm struggling with low self-esteem too. I'm walking through my own hell in psychotherapy and waiting for liberation on nondual "pathles path" from myself. I'm a seeker since I failed my first therapy, for 4 years. You are, Suzanne, my last discovery on youtube. You are so authentic and very modest. I'm very impressed. I wish you well 🙂

[@Soul-dr7tj]

It seems most have a sense of loneliness when it comes to being in this world. A deep sense of it not being okay to be oneself freely. I wonder how we can cultivate a more accepting and open environment in the future. I can't wait to see

[@rationalmystic5]

I wish I had your videos 6 years ago when I wS going through something similar. No body talks about this stuff. No body has any idea how that feels. So good to see your honesty. I'm more myself an more at peace today than I have ever been in my life. On worldly terms I'm a nobody but it feels like I'm everything and everywhere is home. Negative emotions still arise but they are sneezes rather than thunderstoms that went on for weeks. Wish you well Suzanne. Lots of love and warm wishes.

[@goych]

I went through hell 18 years ago, as in that’s when it started. I get what you mean with the feeling alone but but partly that was my system protecting me, thinking that opening up would land me in an even worse predicament, and quite frankly I think it was right! Life has a funny way of making sure we get what we need at the right time. What a wild ride though, yikes

[@queersobercurious3222]

Thanks for this. There is still a witnessing of self hate thoughts, sometimes I even say things out loud, like, "God, I hate myself". When I track what thought inspired it, it's some ridiculous moment where I wasn't perfect. I no longer follow these thoughts with positive affirmations; I just witness the ridiculous nature of the ego policing the ego. Thanks for sharing your journey. I listen to a lot of folks, and there can be confusion and contradictions. But I don't find that with your expressions. I really appreciate that. I feel like your talks support me in trusting my own experience.

[@suzanne-chang]

Thanks for you comment :D

[@stacielivinthedream8510]

My mouth is hung open in astonishment as this sounds so very much like me and my story!

[@carlosito6377]

Feel exactly the same when u said Suzane was taught that her needs/feelings are not so important like the others' ones...

[@suzanne-chang]

Totally...

[@beatrizkarwai6763]

Wow, that's so interesting. I've also gone abroad around that same age, trying to find a way to fix my life, but all I found was more suffering

[@jerryhoran6036]

So interesting so many of us relate to this story.

[@sidnyk1979]

Hi Suzanne, thanks for sharing this. I’ve recently been really drawn to this message and amongst the various speakers out there conveying this message your voice comes across as so very authentic and relatable.

[@suzanne-chang]

Aw thanks Sidharth. So sweet!

[@eeffiis1554]

Speechless Seeing And Listen To The Story is Like Mirroring Myself ✨🤩 It Resonates ❤️

[@robbiepeterh]

So beautiful. Thank you so much. Your message carries all the sadness of the world.

[@life13525]

thank you sooo much for talking like this, feels somehow comforting to hear you speak about it...

[@oneenergeticshealing1208]

Very very helpful and healing! Thank you Suzanne🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️😇

[@claudiknits]

I can soooo relate ..thank you Suzanne 💜💙💚

[@wagneric222]

Thank you for this; it resonates strongly.

[@suzanne-chang]

Great!

[@discoteque7768]

Thank you Suzanne for being. ❤

[@Huskarlz]

The most precious thing in life is peace.. Search for peace, create and keep peace.. what is peace in its entire state?

[@timelessdreams5281]

I'm so glad you shared this with us and also glad to hear you got away from the constant low self-esteem tendencies.

[@charlienne]

Thank you so much for sharing your ‘stories’. And I’m feeling so sorry for those who buy into other people’s putdowns’ They are so unjust. I could always see through their bullshit. They basically want to destroy, punish, like an innocent child triggers a very bad negative response in adults purely on projection …

[@cindylmartinez]

So relate ❤

[@laoisemeehan]

Emotion ismovement of energy and is felt physically. Making that shift is like taking a weight off your shoulders literally and it can help in feeling less heavy... But yes it's still a story.

[@BackroadBender]

Lots of people do self-inquiry but the ultimate goal of self inquiry is to dig deep to find the source of the 'I' and find through direct experience that the 'I' thought is completely transitory... self-inquiry leads to the egoic I AM sense going away. in my experience, it does reinforce the 'I' and the seeking energy gets stronger and stronger until it gets so strong that it finds the actual source of the 'I', the empty center of the 'I'

[@NinaKrebbers]

The story is very helpful. Thank you. Even though it didn’t really happen, it feels lighter for the me, and will help the me to stop creating more of its own suffering

[@sahamal_savu]

You said you spent eight months really dedicated to the spiritual path...I have the intention to do the same for the entirety of 2023. I've been bumbling along for the last eight years so I figure what's another year? Thank you so much for these videos, it's actually inspiring me to want to share my own process in case it may be of some help to others.

[@wakeupandflow]

Hope this channel blows up!

[@suzanne-chang]

Aw thanks

[@nickalvisio2813]

Thank you Suzanne ❤

[@suzanne-chang]

Thanks so much Nick! ♡ ♡ ♡

[@HeidiDream]

This share was important & served as a reminder! thank you

[@Elizabete41]

I am very grateful for your sharing and honesty. Few people talk about it... and your path was so similar to mine, that listening to you was a relief. Even though here there is still (apparently) a self, it becomes more tenuous little by little (apparently) 😃 (sorry for the google translator). Thank you!!!💛

[@suzanne-chang]

Thanks so much Elizabete!

[@anavaldeslim4488]

Thank you for this. Your sharing is very helpful and comforting.

[@morbb5691]

Hello Suzanne. I went to your channel on KZbin here and scrolled through your video section of videos to watch and "I" almost did not watch this video but I am glad I did. I can definitely relate to you about the "I am" spiritual practice which I have been doing myself off and on for some time. I have meditated on the I am and inquired about it, but I have never noticed or thought about until now what you said about the I am being the very foundation of this illusory sense of "me". This is helpful and thank "you" for mentioning this in the simple way that you did! : )

[@kiekko673]

Isn’t it funny how suffering is actually a door to freedom. 🙂🙃

[@tsbinlv]

Thank you for sharing and being so honest and genuine. I can really relate to the low self-esteem. I struggle every day.

[@suzanne-chang]

Yeah I understand, it can be very challenging. Sending much love.

[@EricOwensFlute]

Thank you for explaining your experience!

[@faithifaithi3980]

Yesss darling girl! Thank you so much for ‘the story’ of your life experience. It makes so much sense of my own and in so doing brings much longer for comfort and reassurance to this apparent ‘me’. 😅🙏🏻 😘

[@suzanne-chang]

That's great to hear :)

[@InnerLuminosity]

Music to my non existent ears👋👋👋👌👌👌👌🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️💪💪💪

[@tom7798]

Thank you for telling our story so I don't have to..

[@BenjaminBerrymusic]

Really enjoyed this

[@clairejoseph9398]

Just found your channel. Good content, thank you. Did anything in particular spark your awakening?

[@aprilryan3208]

wow l can relate

[@trevgrooves]

This really resonates. I have never worked directly with a teacher and I don’t know how they could help, none of it makes sense. It’s hard for me to pin point what could help, or to see how any of my experiences on this path relate. I don’t know what awakening or spirituality really mean. I can see it’s a story, but do I really? I should book a session sometime, I don’t know how to approach it though.

[@saeransmom]

Hi Suzanne: I have been following Zdog for years and thanks to him you are a new discovery for me. With whom did you meet with to process your trauma? Without revealing too much I would like to cut through my trauma and past.

[@clilepatra]

fascinating...really so helpful. could you please share more about how you got those feelings out...or details of how one can get support - like what kind of therapy or any concrete ideas there... that's where i seem stuck...

[@suzanne-chang]

Yeah I'm fascinated by the energetic releasing. I'll definitely make more videos on that. The teacher I was really devoted to for a while was Louise Kay. She teaches something called embodied awareness but it's a practice for the illusory 'me.' Nothing wrong with that but it's a pretty different message.

[@clilepatra]

@@suzanne-chang thank you, that helps...it is true that trauma is held in the body...even if we can't remember...

[@eeffiis1554]

Basically what the Entity~Energetic Field Called Mind Was Doing It Was To Create A Illusion Within The Illusion 💗🌺Sort To Speak 🗣

[@suzanne-chang]

This isn't really speaking about the mind. The mind is just thoughts. The 'me' gives meaning to thoughts. The 'me' is the illusion.

[@eeffiis1554]

@@suzanne-chang exactly ✨⚡️💫

[@eeffiis1554]

💫🌹

[@rosa-boom-nonduality]

❤️🙏🎈

[@samueljohnson8244]

❤

[@noahhradek5426]

You're good enough. I have the same doubts am I enough or should I be more?

[@jadecrump5573]

Being misled is a labelling movement by the mind that brings a sense of judgment.

[@suzanne-chang]

No problem with judgement. It still arises here but for no one so it's empty, no real meaning. This character just tends to gravitate toward being inclusive. Seems like conditioning.

[@jadecrump5573]

@@suzanne-chang I was misled into spirituality. And it is just a memory of that now.

[@suzanne-chang]

@@jadecrump5573 yeah for sure. I thought that too but nothing wrong with that.

[@jadecrump5573]

@@suzanne-chang totally agree! But I don't know where this agreeing coming from!

[@Aboriginal_Alien]

Chaos is a complicated concept worth exploring deeper and like you said it isn’t really just chaos it’s orderly chaos. What does chaos really mean? Isn’t it possible that chaos is experienced when the experiencer is just ignorant of all factors behind what is happening so it appears like chaos from this particular perspective, kind of like a microscope out of focus. I am not sure chaos exists at all. If one could know the whole universe at once would that entity be experiencing chaos? This is an important issue to solve because I think the concept of chaos becomes a blinder or a habit or metaphor conditioning our experience of reality and may lead us into a state of less realness.

[@premganga8822]

🌷

[@brightchange6065]

How does one convince oneself that this is true? For me, it always stays at the stage of "very interesting, I can see it that way", and then I go back to BEING ME. How can I "flip" and let it go and change into being that way? How does one get to the stage of KNOWING there is no self?

[@frankyg1953]

It can't be known because there already is no you(self) that could know.

[@pickacaranddriver]

I feel like the sense of 'me' is at odds with 'the mobb', i.e., people who are not like me, not introverted, not aware in this way...basic, will always have the social upper hand. In that rat race world where everyone must vie for themselves, I will never be successful. The only way to be successful is to be irrational and change my viewpoint. I have to believe that I am godlike or that I am special. I have to continue to tell myself this because to be rational in this world is to lose if you are not privileged or lucky.

[@rhmasamy4744]

Do you think maybe that's how the self relates to itself? Like complete detachment as if the self doesn't exist?

[@ArianaReflects]

☺️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@suzanne-chang]

Hey Ariana!!

[@ArianaReflects]

Hi! Let’s video call! Email me!!!

[@kevinmai2947]

Yes I love this!

[@smichael061]

These descriptions are a peek behind the curtain. It seems to be loosening the grip of story and identity this character is still attached to. If you know what the experience is like after awakening and given a description that the local human identity can relate too, then it seems like it's a permission to just let go of the story. Even though the human character can't ever know awakening from mind, there can still be like a scent of awakening from these helpful descriptions. This is unlike anything encountered before. Hopefully there's more to come. Can't help but think this is a karmic benefit if there is such a thing.

[@Treen56]

Hi, how do i drop the me?

[@lunkerjunkie]

I see myself as the part of you that rejects me

[@rubyslippers9140]

I wonder if those who awaken through a 12 step program awaken with low self esteem in tact.

[@JoeMcKenzie888]

Identity can surely be a burden. What if we understood ourselves more like "roles" we play?

[@tttttttt8482]

Hi Suzanne, after you see, there's no separate (any) self, how hard decisions are made, now ?. I mean, when you have to do something, but don't want to or have some doubts, or have to use your willpower, or let's say, whatever way you choose will be bad, but anyway, you have to make a choice ?

[@suzanne-chang]

Yeah it just all happens. There can still be not wanting to deal with the situation but it's all happening for no one so there's no real gravity to it. It's kind of the same as before but the narrative around it is not sticky anymore, it can still arise though. The situation is either dealt with or not and it doesn't really matter. Cause no one is here to mind what happens. There's just an instinctual dealing with it or not. Not complicated. It depends on the situation. And this character can be lazy sometimes so things still don't get done. Other things do. Mmm, I guess there's this general, overall okayness with everything... Not sure.

[@tttttttt8482]

Suzanne, you say, the character can be lazy sometimes...so, it still, kind of here, right, yet, you are able to observe it without identifying with it ?

[@suzanne-chang]

@@tttttttt8482 No, one-one is here at all... so identification can't happen.There's no separation, so no entity is able to observe something else, that's subject and object. 'Observation' is just happening but for no-one. I think it's a function of the brain or something? But when there's no one here I would not call it observing... because it sounds like someone is doing it. Everything's just happening on its own without a person, center, or ownership of anything. The character is not the 'me' energy... it's just nothing appearing as certain traits or something... like a cat has character but there's no-one in there. A video of that is coming up :)

[@theoocahain7780]

🙂 What is groaning on the lap at the very end..?

[@fernandopoma]

Hi Suzanne. Thank you. How do “you”realize that there is no one here? Doesn’t self inquiry teach that IAM is the first illusion and then the IAM thought gets absorbed by source? You focus on IAM until all else is gone and eventually the IAM itself is absorbed into the Self?

[@suzanne-chang]

Yes, you're right. I think it was a stepping stone. Use a thorn (the I AM) to remove a thorn (itself)... So I guess that can work too and maybe that would have happened here as well... but it didn't seem like it. What I noticed is that I was subtly activating or engaging the 'me' energy (the 'I AM') whenever I would do that practice, and I didn't know that that was happening. The 'me' was subtly claiming that it was awake and there seemed to be a subtle but constant maintaining of resting as the I AM... but every apparent person is so different, so that can work for you. Can't say anything for sure. This is the end of a 'me' maintaining anything.

[@fernandopoma]

@@suzanne-chang thank you. It is interesting though that somehow, “you” lost the sense of an illusory me with resting in the I Am even though it seemed to be strengthening it. Some people say “there is nothing that can be done” but isn’t it strange that most self realization happens to “people” that seek until they don’t? Or is there another way that no-one can realize itself? Thank you

[@suzanne-chang]

@@fernandopoma Yeah it seems spontaneous or without cause, there's no way to say for sure. People who aren't on a spiritual path apparently awaken but we may hear about them less... the end of the 'me' is the end of time and the end of cause and effect and that seems like it's only clear when the illusion isn't there. Belief in cause and effect was still lingering here for a while too even after the happening that never happened happened. It's so convincing.

[@abrahamabraham9942]

👍♥️🙏

[@lindseyparker8254]

I’m really confused. I resonate with Part 1 on this series a lot. From what I hear there is nothing the ‘me’ can do, the awakening/liberation/dissolution is on its own trajectory. You say ‘do the therapy/meditation (etc) there’s nothing wrong with it’ , but then also say it doesn’t help as it is a vehicle for remaining attached to identity. But then if I do ‘nothing’ then how am I going to break the Status Quo? Do you have a pointer here? Is there some sort of internal enquiry that is necessary to allow or welcome the awakening process to ‘occur’. ? I can’t feel my way past intellectualising this at the moment ….

[@g00.41]

First, I must say thank u. Now, u keep saying there is nobody here. I am just wondering whether u have a family & how do u relate?

[@citizenenak]

What is, is chaos?

[@Godamole]

You say things like: “this is just […]” and the words “story, words, expression”. I wonder what you mean by “just”. If there is no self what is generating the words you use to describe the “place” your consciousness has reached. I don’t understand… it’s really frustrating

[@oldsachem]

The comic Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004), jibes about heaviness and low self-esteem. You should look him up. You sound like a female incarnation of Mr. Dangerfield.

[@directdemocracy133]

Such a deluded talk full of inconsistency and self loathing. There is no understanding of individuation, of the role of uniqueness inside of the one NESS. Do not follow this person. There is no integration of true teaching. It is possible to be happy. It is our true beautiful nature. She is missing the important realisation 😢

[@oldsachem]

Imagine the rejection of being an old white American man in a 2023 Woke America! What could be worse?

[@CBT5777]

I don't even know what "woke" means. Good for me huh?