Pat Stares At Resident Evil 5! (Part 2)

Broadcasted live on Twitch -- Watch live at / patstaresat

[@DeadHelmet13]

Pat "why don't you have ammo Paige", Paige while shooting a pot " I don't know"

[@Trent8086]

I imagine the scenario as a cartoon in my head: Pat asking her why she has no ammo as Paige is eagerly chucking the ammo by hand from her backpack at the enemy, at the floor, at the walls, etc. Like literally wasting ammo.

[@jerri7417]

She runs out of ammo so quickly because she doesnt let go of the trigger when she's changing targets. She literally sprays everything everywhere and hope it hits.

[@thelaughingrouge]

She started the session with a turret section that had unlimited ammo and apparently forgot that ammo was a thing for the rest of the night.

[@Trent8086]

At least she doesn't quick turn and shoot a wall. Oh wait...quick turn.

[@Stormfin]

Part of the problem is that she's on the wrong side, too. You have to click right stick to switch the camera to the other shoulder. It took me almost ten years to realize that, and then RE5 instantly became better for me.

[@thewraithwriter22]

​@@Stormfin You can switch the camera !?

[@Stormfin]

@@thewraithwriter22 Yeah dude, right stick for 360, R3 I think for PS3.

[@TransMiqote]

"Todd Howard's kids have a silver spoon in their mouths which occasionally glitches them into the floor"

[@xananax21]

Every time I hear Paige say, "I'm sorry!" I just think, "Do not be sorry. Be better." Thanks for the best advice of my life Dad of War.

[@Trent8086]

And in this situation I just think of Paige saying: "we're gods, we can do whatever we want."

[@FishBoneD14]

Kratos must have learned that from the Hindu gods cause that’s Indian parent 101

[@CopiousDoinksLLC]

"Sorry isn't much good to me if you're just going to do the same dumb shit again." - My actual Dad

[@deeta000]

I hope someone animates a comatose Paige not shooting dogs while Pat is getting his groin savagely mauled by said dogs.

[@Trent8086]

Or a comic of her in the corner petting a zombie dog with her back turned as a pack of other doggos mauls Pat.

[@MH-bq2ym]

"Swimming is the flying of the ocean." -Patrick Boivrick, 2020.

[@RhysClark97]

Paige: whats happening, i dont know whats going on Also Paige: * skips the most important cutscene in the game *

[@gaminggoddess85]

It's the Yakuza Zero LP all over again except this time Matt has tits.

[@tonlito22]

@@gaminggoddess85 Oh I hate that that is a good explanation.

[@CopiousDoinksLLC]

I love how she immediately knew it was her fault, too.

[@AntiNihilist]

The image of Wesker running back and forth between Jill and Chris, punching them in the groin repeatedly will forever be seared into my mind. CANNON

[@sleepofgiants410]

sometimes peach is so unrelatable it goes around completely and it's like I'm listening to my own thoughts

[@CopiousDoinksLLC]

She is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a total lack of spatial awareness

[@pwnorbepwned]

Right after I read this, she made the snowmen comment that confused Pat. She’s completely right! If French snowmen are de facto good-aligned, then why do they have to clarify every time that they’re good? Doesn’t it make more sense that the alignment of French snowmen is evil or questionable, and that’s why the classic American kind is “good”?

[@blackdragoncyrus]

"I thought I was you" Part 2

[@CopiousDoinksLLC]

I love Pat's disbelief at 1:42:11 when Paige asks where he is (he's three feet in front of her. On a fucking airboat. That she's currently driving).

[@ChronoTriggerHappy]

"I hate hold button, do this" Paige, you literally have to hold left trigger on o fire your gun, you don't accidentally shoot anything

[@battlestarnomore]

Re4: LEEEONNN Re5: HOLD ON TIGHT!

[@zerona]

iv never heard the word babe more times in my life as i have in this whole LP

[@ALEXisSPANISH]

Good call, darling

[@dougdynamo9398]

I've never played this game. But watching them try to bait the monster into the purple trap caused every cell in my body to explode at once with anger. I loved it.

[@alexkeitaro05]

I'd genuinely love to see more "Make Paige shoot the big glowing weak spot" adventures. She tries so hard, it's endearing!

[@kovulion7777]

3:09:30 I love that elmo almost messed the redbull up with the mics, Pat is basically baby sitting 2 people while avoiding a one hit monster in this segment XD

[@DynomitePunch]

paige makes a joke, then pat furthers the joke and paige doesn't get the context, this is the quality i come here to see

[@kagato0987]

This is like watching a grandmother and her middle aged son play a game...

[@Dunkster74]

that turret section made me writhe in literal, physical pain.

[@RhysClark97]

patts greatest mistake: hey paige, you should drive

[@jesselindsey9760]

"Drive forward." "Where?!" "Forward!" "WHAT DOES THAT MEAAAANNN?!"

[@lovelygargoyle5248]

I really want an animated gif of Wesker going back and forth kicking Pat and Paige in the groin.

[@Fullwolf346]

I swear Paige has like...bipolar skill with this game. Sometimes she's doing better than I ever have and other times it's like someone gave the controller to Elmo.

[@justasandwichiguess9364]

That's unfair Elmo has yet to show us his gamer skills and lives for far less. Paige on the other hand does this for work and has lived far longer

[@mongooseunleashed]

Nah, Paige is learning the game and has anxiety when she messes up. I don't think she plays alot of survival horror games even though she says she does...

[@riastradh]

We both know those are the same thing

[@colinreid1509]

Elmo is probably a gamer god compared to her

[@danherondraws]

1:32:00 I support the idea of super heroine Sheva fighting Bioweapons at night. She needs a better disguise, tho

[@RhysClark97]

40:55 pat has big cardboard cutout energy right here

[@demilung]

Las Plagas has that effect on people. When they gave it to Spanish people in RE4, they started dressing like warrior-monk inquisitors.

[@ABakedDemon]

The way the driver says "hold on tight!" Makes me laugh everytime for some reason

[@ThePerrperr]

paige's automatic stand Blinded by the Light is making a strong showing tonight.

[@josephsullivan1801]

The air-boat section gave me an ulcer.

[@josephsanti6219]

1:44:44 Pat: Paige! Paige! Paige! Elmo: Paige!

[@joeysingingchannel]

That was frickin' adorable. We love Toot.

[@RhysClark97]

patt, with a pistol, sniper rifle, rocket launcher,magnum, and the most broken melee weapon in a resident evil game..."i wish i had fancy ammunition"

[@heathergunson8669]

omg I love your batman comment, as a batman fan i cracked up laughing so bad i had to pause the video.

[@Scarnehu]

Nice clean rip of paige saying "Why are you coming for me like this?" Use that as you will

[@manpotion]

Fuck marriage counseling, if you and your partner can make it through the turret vehicle section in this game, you've already proven your love is real.

[@jesselindsey9760]

14:29 For god's sake, Pat, I was eating TUNA!

[@LaBarata12]

She WAS shooting, she was just shooting randomly off into the air and couldn’t understand why the bad man didn’t fall down

[@SinHurr]

"It doesn't want." - Pat, 2020

[@SinHurr]

okay maybe I've been watching too much Pat because I thought of A Perfect Circle like 20 seconds before he made the joke

[@SinHurr]

NO YOU FUCKS call it God HandS

[@SinHurr]

Just think of all the boxes Paige could open with a rocket launcher tho!

[@Acidicstudios]

The thumbnail for this one looks like Pat has morphed into some sort of robot couch-goblin

[@N00BSYBORG]

Ska made Paige think fish were mammals? If this is what Ska produced then no wonder it died.

[@nate-otero]

N00BSYBORG she also thought the fish where “reel big”

[@theqreem8587]

@@nate-otero Boo!

[@thelaughingrouge]

@@nate-otero *BOOOO!!!*

[@VergiI_Sparda]

i know im two years late but at 3:57:55 (actual time 57 seconds) Pat actually shoots Wesker first here, in the shoulder. you see the blood spray and hear the hit. i thought he was invincible this entire fight!!! insane!! im surprised he didn't notice lol

[@BossKowbel]

1:41:20 Holy fuck, that whole sequence had me in stitches. Paige's blindness may be the highlight of LP for me.

[@oldheadprisonofficer7024]

You all better play RE 6 lol

[@mongooseunleashed]

RE6 co-op SUCKS though.

[@suwatsaksri7191]

@@mongooseunleashed thats the point

[@charlesgray6385]

You be over in the corner hating life whilst I’m John Wicking through the air, doing sick dodge rolls and rad melee combos stylin’ all over the bioweapons. RE6 is a great action game.

[@suwatsaksri7191]

@@charlesgray6385 mercenaries is genuinely fantastic since its not dragged down by a badly paced and overly scripted campaign

[@mongooseunleashed]

@@charlesgray6385 Until your co-op partner has to protect you while you're stuck on a ledge or press avoid an instant death scenario....

[@touchingisjustthefirststep]

He isn't teleporting Pat, just moves really fast. He can't do that shit while in the air

[@theqreem8587]

Oh man, this stream is such a fucking circus. I love it

[@cokeMONSTERps3]

This is painful.

[@Zangelin]

Which part? the gameplay or Pat's cringy white guilt trip?

[@TrixTrix228]

@@Zangelin I never really got that whole africa debacle even when I saw the trailers/teasers for it back then

[@JimmyCougar]

@@TrixTrix228 In essence, there's a culture in Western countries where (upper-class college) white people are made to feel bad on behalf of all black people for things like Slavery, Jim Crow, etc etc. Even though blacks legally have the same rights as Whites and enjoy certain society privileges that aren't afforded to the pale faces. It's gotten to the point where ANYTHING that inconveniences a black person today is a form of systemic oppression. So black people are constant victims and babies of things outside their control and white people need to mollycoddle them, because ego. And yes, this is incredibly racist and I suspect Pat and Peach are too because of how "offended" they are.

[@DaFieFie]

@@TrixTrix228 Right, an actual explanation. It's not really a debacle, it's just a bit of an oof. RE4 had similar issues where you were a white dude shooting a bunch of poor minorities. It's not really that big a deal, but when you think about it out of context it sounds really fucked up. Especially since both Chris and Leon are Americans, so it's like, "Wealthy American comes to Africa and shoots a bunch of black people." I don't think anyone is really suggesting it needs changing, or that the designers were racist, it just comes off as a bit culturally tone deaf because there seems to be zero self awareness in it. Best modern example I can think of is Justin Trudeau's blackface shit. Was it racially motivated? Probably not. But it's still a huge oof.

[@TrixTrix228]

@@DaFieFie Maybe it's because I'm not part of the west but even out of context I see no issue with it, I didn't even know there was some oofing for RE4 though not being active on the internet probably helped with not seeing that

[@dougdynamo9398]

I had to come to the comments because I was about to fucking kill myself after the 50th "I'm sorry." Enjoying this series. Can't wait for Part 3.

[@stephensmith4598]

The first game menu is at 55:23

[@stephenuchiha6430]

D-Did Paige manage to dodge a single one of wesker’s attacks in Lost in Nightmares?

[@Nerevar5me]

I don't think so and I can't decide if those were all hilarious or just painful to watch

[@joeysingingchannel]

Man, everytime Paige goes up to a box I'm practically breaking out in hives. I literally screamed at my computer. What is wrong with me?

[@HazielBlack]

some years ago... at the village part... young me: are we the baddies?

[@lpenrike]

i think playing with paige is worse than playing solo

[@deeta000]

She’ll do fiiine. The turret section is stupid anyways lol.

[@gaminggoddess85]

@@deeta000 That doesn't explain or excuse the stroke she's having in the marsh section.

[@charlesgray6385]

I normally listen to these videos more like podcasts so I’ve been glancing over and underselling the comment section getting livid over Paige’s use of the mini-gun. Holy fuck she really is spraying and praying. She just holds down that trigger. Might as well just tape the bloody thing down. Get some clamps and clap them on the back. Paige you let go and fire in bursts dear god women you’ve been playing games for at least 15 years the hell do you not have any semblance of trigger control?!?!?

[@FishBoneD14]

This part of the game literally is why I got a masters in Bioethics

[@theangriestpigeon4403]

I need to stop having Pat's streams on in the background while Paige is there. Cause my god their conversations goes places and I'm too enraptured, almost like I'm in a trance, and I can't get off the ride they're taking me on.

[@OspreySoul]

1:54:52 "If you ever have to..." Spoilers, Pat is actually quite good at picking out good shiny rock in real life.

[@jesselindsey9760]

2:02:20 Oh my god, paige was shooting a solid 2 feet to the right of the target.

[@TheProtoChimp]

"Can't I button and it happen"-Paige, 2020.

[@PushyPillow]

Pat: No Paige, you cannot have the stun baton Paige: Oh okay Also Pat: This stun baton sure is great!

[@mongooseunleashed]

Yeah, it would be wasted on Paige. Who doesn't melee stunned enemies and sprays bullets like water.

[@riastradh]

The bats heard Bruce’s parents, then they saw them, then they *killed them*

[@wolfen9113]

Paige sounds so stressed out when playing games like these

[@gaminggoddess85]

Pat talking about food hair reminded me of the time I read about a food stall owner in China making soy sauce by boiling down hair clippings from a barber shop and now I'm disgusted all over again. Thanks for that.

[@charlesgray6385]

Thanks you’ve ruined everyone else’s life as well

[@gaminggoddess85]

@@charlesgray6385 Wait'll you hear about the food stall owner who was caught using sewage runoff to top off his soup bowls! If I ever go to China I am _never_ eating from a street vendor.

[@charlesgray6385]

gaminggoddess85 I’m past the point of disgust and into self-preservation mode. Might actually need to look into this sort of practice because chances are I’ve just been amazingly lucky with street vendors good grief. That being said I used to frequent a kebab van that rather obviously and openly fabricated the health and safety certificate so I’m not surprised either. =.= also to an extent I’m not even mad that’s an impressive level of min-maxing. At a certain point you’ve just got to hand it to them if they’re getting away with it.

[@gaminggoddess85]

@@charlesgray6385 I'm pretty sure both of them got jail time after they were caught. I'm just wondering how nobody caught the sewage soup guy sooner. I guess it says a lot about the taste of his cooking if nobody noticed.

[@RhysClark97]

i would love to see eye tracker analytics for this LP just to see how many people spend their time fascinated by Paige playing the game lol

[@XypherFTW]

Thats me dude, im watching her screen like 90% of the time

[@milhvar394]

1:19:06 The entire time, complete silence greets Pat.

[@FacetiousAF]

just the once, having carried over my drunk from the valentine's day, i will comment the following: jesus goddamn christ i can only hope i find my own paige to my weirdo pat bullshit.

[@117johnpar]

"It us that is oink"

[@titanquest15]

Page is all shades of incompetent at this game.

[@chai_wolf]

About the Fusion Dance, Goku and Vegeta are different hights but can fuse into Gogeta. So you and Woolie fusing wouldn't be a problem as long as you don't make a mistake and keep your power levels the same.

[@charlesgray6385]

The idea of Pat having control over anything is hilarious

[@chai_wolf]

True 🤣

[@mr.buttram2837]

My best friend is a red head and he's also completely hairless. He had to change his shirt before airsoft and I made fun of him because I thought he waxed.

[@RhysClark97]

1:10:30 its actually a fucking travesty that this awesome evolution of the design of the el gigante has been reduced to a fucking turret section, LET US FIGHT HIM PROPERLY LIKE IN RE 4

[@christopheye]

Who actually makes el gigante studded arm bands? I want to know the back story.

[@TheKrawtch]

that hummer section really sucks putrid ass. you can see why they saved it until the very last thing that happens in Revelations 1 man that game ends badly

[@jontrain8986]

Gunman is the dopest hero name and the dopest dc hero that ever were

[@Ropeburnable]

1:41:30 Had me in fucking tears. I can not believe what I've just seen.

[@ALEXisSPANISH]

I've never seen a Paige stream. Do it really be like this?

[@tusk1026]

It took her 6 minutes to do the shadow puzzle from RE7

[@crispyghoul]

It do

[@joeysingingchannel]

It depends on if the sun has gone down, she's had her ADD meds, and isn't hungry, or tired, or has a headache, or a fever and at least a dozen other things... But we cut the woman some slack. She survived a living death.

[@jesselindsey9760]

Brother, you have no idea.

[@BTM8109]

"Hello clearly African man with African accent. What's your name?" "Josh Stone" X Doubt

[@gaminggoddess85]

Maybe he's Christian?

[@en4135]

Nobody tell this guy about Trevor Noah or the entirety of South Africa

[@JimmyCougar]

@@en4135 Trevor Noah is a stage name.

[@en4135]

@@JimmyCougar No it isn't, his mothers name is Patricia Noah and his fathers name is Robert Noah.

[@Hoenhime344]

this was baba is you levels of stupidity :p lol love you peaches

[@Supernova71288]

I gave The Office like 6 episodes and just stopped caring. People have actually told me "just get to season 4 and you'll love it"... fuck that. I'm not watching 3 seasons of something I couldn't care less about just to get to a potential upswing...

[@SilverJakler]

2:44:13 This dude speakin' facts.

[@SJ-ss5bf]

Adorable ginger couple are adorable.

[@Sitruk86]

1:26:35 sometimes its hard to tell if Paige is a work or a shoot...

[@Chris_Tootoo]

The El Gigante boss fight in this one and the prior ‘Super Action Explosion Car Chase’ is really dumb

[@Zangelin]

It's kind of the worst part of the game easily.

[@RedDragon1444]

@@Zangelin Agreed

[@somethinggold187]

This is painful lol

[@arieo]

These are great. I don't even watch Pat's screen cause all the excitement is on Paige's side.

[@mistergrim01]

Menu switch at 55:20

[@Trent8086]

So the bit about mammograms for women with "flat chests" is funny to me for a singular reason: I have known a handful of men who had to get mammograms. So it's not a pain unique to flat chested women. I don't know who said they do an ultrasound instead but that is wrong. A mammogram is a specific test and requires an x-ray (otherwise it isn't a mammogram). A doctor may, in a worst case scenario, use an ultrasound to guide a biopsy needle to get a sample of a suspected tumor because an ultrasound cannot tell if a tumor is cancerous (though they can easily distinguish a fluid filled cyst from a suspected tumor). Several of the men I knew who had them came out with severely bruised pecs from the procedure because they do still need to smash your breast into the clamp like machine to get the image...there is just no real way around it. Ideally they do it 2 ways as well...once with the breast horizontally pressed and again in a diagonal fashion.

[@danherondraws]

So, dolphins, huh

[@XypherFTW]

Color me surprised that Paige avoided all the alligators

[@themumblingtacos]

why does Paige hate life?

[@Ialliac]

A reading from The Book of Paige: Verse 3:08:55

[@djinn2475]

i cant find the dolphin fucking video

[@towni3vill3]

Move the mic away from your face while you eat... It's not hard...

[@dracomundo1498]

A perfect circle fuckin rules tho

[@SeanCrosser]

Peaches may have little a weed, as a treat

[@SeanCrosser]

"huh? Whut? I was turned away" oh this is going to be FUN

[@viperblackk]

Baby boy. Baby.

[@Hallowench]

Paige...are you okay?

[@kurukblackflame]

Although Paige makes mistakes, a lot of Pat's directions are very vague. He's also way fussier about ammo use than most people would be. My brother and I tried playing this game with one person using the machine gun instead of having a hand gun and ammo is a real problem for that player. Machine gun ammo is just not as common as hand gun ammo. Paige could use her melee attacks more, but trying to do the whole game without a hand gun is difficult.

[@bloodykun4443]

Since it was also brought up in the LP on the SBF channel, I'm genuinely interested in if anyone can explain to me the difference between the stereotypes in 4, as compared to 5, and why one is apparently so disturbing and not the other.

[@Fullwolf346]

Put simply, indigenous Africans have been treated like shit WAY more often than Spaniards ever have.

[@RevengeOfMoctezuma]

Can't tell if Pat's white guilt is being played up just for laughs or not.

[@PredatoryQQmber]

2:35 So, if Pat wasn't so chubby, he would be smooth and feminine ?! 9:10 christmas-specials.fandom.com/wiki/Heat_Miser - that's Pat, alright… 13:15 So sad that no one even asks about Faggins anymore, he should be Pat's Reggie. 13:35&45:33 "The Scoop Doctor"… 14:23 Don't worry, there is the prostate exam… 16:20 Not "interspecies" enough… 31:40 The Internet has killed E3… and that's fine. 32:30 Yet Pat himself has said that about Star Trek: TNG. Also, some animes are weird or not-as-good at first half of the season, like JoJo and Steins;Gate. 35:40 & 55:06 Mothers be aware… of oinking ? 39:37 Pat's contract with Capcom. 1:08:45 Pat gets freaky :] 1:26:30 "We'll get a cool cut-scene"… 1:36:30 Shit-show begins ! 1:52:50 "I don't have any bullets" - she says while walking past ammo… 2:45:42 Sure, skip the mention of Ada, she was from games games anyway !

[@BizmarktheGreat]

In Paige's defense this section is ass.

[@russtyklingon1]

Paige needs to learn some new swears, I'm not even religious and I'm offended by the shocking amount of blasphemy that pours out of her gullet.