Patton Oswalt 1997 (part 4)

[@shotgunfacelift355]

The carvel bit is one of my favorites of all time. I love Patton's newer stuff but this was his funniest set.

[@pryingeyes1551]

This whole thing was one of my favorite specials ever. It got me into him. Amazing how much most kids wouldn't get today. The print industry thriving enough to have niche porn magazines, references to drafting tools, like non-repoducing blue pens(even then, few would get that), Cops not being poorly shot vertical videos of abuse on YT. Bob Ross, William Alexander.

[@jdm1066]

@@pryingeyes1551 Klaus Kinski on Crank will likely not be appreciated by anyone born after 1980.

[@ellesnyder942]

His description of Alexander is so spot on.. I used to watch him when I was a kid near the end of his painting show. He would go on some crazy-ass rants. I'd tune in just to see what he'd say that week. And yeah- I do love Bob Ross.

[@flyboymcgee8059]

This set was quite literally the best material he ever placed in a row.

[@ben-niferneff2848]

So great, first Patton I ever saw. I was hooked, I quoted "rusty tuna can lid" all through my 20s. Thanks for posting!

[@ZeacorZeppelin]

Every time I feel depressed I watch this clip. The William Alexander bit is so perfect

[@0e0]

I'm here now for this. Bless Patton

[@Aphasia17]

This is quite literally a perfect set.

[@Nucky420]

I actually saw this show about 2 years after it had come out. We had just gotten HBO and I started to stay up late because I loved it so much. I was like 9 years old.

[@NickRamone0]

Best comedian of all tjme. Hands down. Possibly one of the best American minds.

[@AlexReynard]

God, how has his larynx not exploded after years of doing bits like this!?

[@deathbykindnes]

right? like this one, too ahaha kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJ6lq2Wkndmci9U

[@SIMSPHERE]

I actually remember not just this program, but the Carvel cookie commercials, and Bob Ross TV show, with angry German painter guy.

[@AlanJames1987]

I think that Patton Oswalt understood meme culture before it existed.

[@gu151]

If i could become real life best friends with anyone, it'd be Patton

[@ScottGreenMusic]

Every time I hear "I shave her back with a rusty tuna can lid", I lose it. Amazeballs.

[@Matt_Villines]

YOU VILL PAAAAINT!

[@JamesPawson]

"...and he's not gonna probe your rectum like the aliens in Whitley Strieber's Communion.." oh wow man. Wow.

[@pika23]

Omg Carvel! I never knew he did this bit. I love him more now!

[@pixelartiste1]

love this man, makes my day. Those artists on PBS. Yes !

[@dextercharles4269]

cool to hear some of these bits that he did a bit later on with another twist or more/less elaboration. comic genius sure sure! thanks for uploading this too.

[@ZeacorZeppelin]

"I write my divorce settlement in BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!... oh use the light blue there."

[@wmst5065]

The funny thing is I bet people who didn't grow up in the northeastern U.S. and never saw an Carvel ad are thinking Patton made up (the) Fudgie the Whale and Cookie Puss ice cream cakes but they're actually real. He's not lying about how hard those things are to cut.

[@st8ofinfinity]

He's an absolute master! One of my favorites for sure!

[@fireflocs]

That description of William Alexander is why I shouldn't be a let's player. Just me screaming about everyone who's ever done me wrong with these colorful metaphors, peppered with obscenity, and soul-crushing cynicism and misanthropy; then 'and by the way, you wanna jump on the koopa this way because of the way it bounces and-'. It'd be a disaster.

[@5tran9eMCMLXXII]

"I shave the hair off her back with a rusty tuna can lid" oh god I can't breathe

[@modernhomesteadnc6404]

"It comes off like sheets of papyrus that I write the divorce settlement on IN BLOOD." Oh my god haha

[@tomitstube]

just checked out william alexander, dude is amazing.

[@Ratworks]

I fucking hyperventilated laughing at the Carvel bit as a kid

[@RollingOrmond]

Early 80's, visiting grandma in NYC, always saw the Tom Carvell//Cookie Puss ads.

[@TheSchmuck2]

oh god Patton Oswalt talking in 1997 like not everyone knows who Bob Ross is! ha! Twenty years later, how times have changed.

[@Tigerman1138]

TheSchmuck2 He does mention the East, so he is qualifying it.

[@CeruleanFilms]

Only in a Patton Oswalt show will you hear Whitley Streiber name-checked in a bit about ice cream.

[@magnusfischer3073]

CeruleanFilms He's like a Dennis Miller for non-libertarians. +1'd

[@sentient02970]

Oh god yes those Carvel ads

[@Launchpad05]

We honor most major credit cards. Thank you.

[@reneemoriconi4112]

I grew up in Virginia and remember Carvel ads well....

[@jimj7871]

Eleven people had their back shaved with a rusty tuna can lid

[@danielgreen6302]

+Jim J: I lost it, aaahhhww...man, that is freaking side-splittingly hilarious

[@CopperYacht]

13 people had their wife say,"You put the poison in me!"

[@devinallen4708]

21 people had to write their divorce settlement IN BLOOOOOD

[@mikedrud]

I love how all the other comedians at the end just listen to him, thinking, W... T... F? He was light years ahead and them an infinitely weirder, and thus destined to do some really cool stuff.

[@Tigerman1138]

Grew up in Hudson Valley *Carvel HQ not too far. Loved his ads *Loved Bob Ross-could fall asleep to him *Remember Stelladoro Breakfast Treats and original ad *Used PAAS for eggs I love Patton.

[@infiniteandroid]

One of the best bits ever pure genius!!!!

[@ericbabe87]

The William Alexander voice makes me die laughing. So funny

[@MCPDeviceDriver]

My vote for the best 30 minute set in history.

[@GregthaBunny]

He nailed it with Tom Carvel... dam I miss those commercials. Fudgie the Whale and Hug Me the Bear and you had to thaw those fucking things for a week before you planned on eating it.

[@Duke_Togo_G13]

He fk'n nailed it for me when he talked about William Alexander and oil painting.. Lol

[@icthruyounow]

First time I watched this was 5 years ago.Almost pissed myself laughin at the dad dislocating his shoulder part.

[@Nativeblkft]

"I wield the wand of Oden!"

[@poupdujour]

I thought he was saying gibberish but cookiepus was a real thing

[@Montork]

god.. these are the best fucking bits ever.. they are also so very verry late 90s.. and they are awesome.

[@LakeFX]

Came here after watching the Bob Ross documentary on Netflix.

[@pryingeyes1551]

I was well familiar with Bob Ross, but had to look up William Alexander. Glad I did. I wish he really screamed while painting though. He just sounded like a slightly intense, passionate German.

[@ElLoco182]

Alexander was a great human beeing. He taught me important life lessons in his painting videos.

[@ralphyetmore]

Crazy. Patton Oswalt sitting at a table with Dave Chappelle.

[@Alucard-A-La-Carte]

20 years later, he'd be selling those cakes to a man and two robots in space being bossed around by Felicia Day.

[@theScytheofGod]

Damned, I loved Bob Ross, laid back white dude with an afro, fer god's sake. Although I heard him bitching about his ex-wife once.

[@pennywiseflyz9130]

Ahhh hell haha. One of the best bits. Alfred don’t wake me

[@Mattwav]

I grew up with these commercials lol

[@themoviedealers]

I want a marzipan limousine!!!!

[@adamcharney]

Holy shit I remember Carvel ice cream. There was a Carvel store in Langley Park, Maryland in the same plaza as Hechingers.

[@barrypeirson3710]

Heckingers Hardware! They were awesome.

[@joansibbald5071]

No no no. Dude stole my material except instead of candy, you strap on dynamite, explode mid fall, and rain down goo and bone shards. Exciting and original. Wackity Schmackity Doo. Goo.

[@Montork]

OH MY GOD COOKIE PUSS! I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN AMERICA AND I'VE HEARD THE LEGEND OF COOKIE PUSS!

[@GooglyBear]

That OKC bombing joke jeez that’s balls to even pull that lol

[@cosmosblue772]

Hah that's great when he said " I wield the wand of Odin!" b/c he's apart of the Marvel universe. So funny =)

[@datdirtybirdie4672]

He's also a god.

[@AussieBaka]

Birth of Bale's Batman voice.

[@PabloG1987]

@Squibfire Thanks a lot for your help!

[@nurb101]

little more intense than later shows

[@GoblinXXX]

I veild ze vand of ODIN!!!

[@InKa4484]

@ralphyetmore there is a Dave Chappelle standup on youtube where the intro is them at the same table and Dave asks a question and Patton is the only one who talks.

[@beefygoblin]

I'd fill a suits lining with glitter and apply vampire makeup. Then jump infront of a shortbus.

[@alexeidarling]

So, I guess Patton was the one to come up with the Carvel Cake Clock invention exchange.

[@priceman141]

OMG you're right!

[@TheDissident77]

I think I remember this set. still funny

[@Nabend1402]

Next Thursday I am going to see Patton live... in Amsterdam! I might bring a sponge to wash him.

[@PabloG1987]

@Squibfire hahaha, THANKS A LOT, I never would have guessed it. I'm still stucked with a couple of parts: 3:38 5:13-5:14 6:55-6:57 If you could help me with those, that would be GREAT (I promise I won't bother you again)

[@aliecarey]

Gummy survivors you can dig out with a plastic spoon😂👍😂😂

[@WizardGlik]

SPENCE!

[@MalachorWraith]

@MrHujh They all did an HBO comedy half hour set and that was the way they decided to open and close the show.

[@puirYorick]

Jabba the American - you know somebody's gonna do something with that idea one day.

[@MrHujh]

I've seen Dave chappelle live from 96 or 97 does someone know why the same group of comedians are sitting the exact same way at the end I'm curious

[@notsure-hm6hx]

carvel on "the boys" brought me here

[@mattnaturally]

Agreed.

[@Archaelleon]

What a murderers row comedians at the end there... Chapelle, Madigan, Williams, Garland...

[@BoneDryShart]

Not kidding...I work with a guy named Bob Ross. We're not painters. Not kidding again...he likes to be called Bubba. Have a nice day my friends.

[@kimbonice]

I miss the east coast Patton. West coast Patton is no fun.

[@Engelbird]

West coast anything is no fun.

[@alzychoze6591]

He had his voice 20 years ago.

[@AnalWave]

Bob Ross.

[@matthewpaul6904]

He looked tired from that Tom Carvel impression. He didn't saw a long sentence did he?

[@PachucoDesigns]

God dammit, Patton. You used to be amazing. What the hell happened to you?

[@nv631]

He had a better grasp of comedy back then. Now just seems like hes trying to do political commentary and pander to the crowd. Big sad

[@yeungjin5386]

how the hell did this get over twice as many views as part 3?

[@MrGuitarman187]

Gather round and let me show you the secrets of art hahahahaha :D

[@Jascle03]

It was a simple time. It was a better time.

[@Kitharis-Hawkeye-Lonewolf]

"I would be Jaba the american!"

[@jonasking9587]

So much less insecure these days. Good show.

[@Nativeblkft]

Grassy Knoll Ice Cream cake with licorice C.I.A men.

[@dkennell998]

I want to like this video, but it’s at 666 likes. Gotta leave it.

[@skyedogg]

Holy shit he's from where I live O_o

[@AhRobots]

@Squibfire It's Bocce balls.

[@PabloG1987]

can someone please tell me what he is saying at 4:14-4:22? It's for a translation I'm doing.

[@fightclub6291]

5:24....Incidental Kinison impression?

[@maxxam3590]

A Venezuelan co-worker told me once that Chileans are, among Hispanics, the most prone to suicide. I don't know if that's a statistic fact, but I know my mother in law (whom I didn't meet) killed herself, and her grandpa killed himself, and my uncle killed himself exactly one year ago, and my first girlfriend honestly tried to kill herself, and my grand-grandpa killed himself, and I don't know WTF is up with that. All Chileans, by the way. So, if I ever do it, I don't know if I can be funny and creative.

[@summercarlson9254]

Effugeniece!

[@josephmbarron]

Dane Cook copied the suicide joke :/

[@boblewin7099]

He doesn't sound anything like Tom. Gimme a break. New York City wannabe.