Paula Poundstone Has A Whale Of A Metaphor For Trump

The 'Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone' podcast host came up with a metaphor for Trump that involves Earth's largest mammal.
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@flyingcloud9253]

I have listened to Paula for many years and it is such a treat to see her, in all her blazing glory. Now when I listen to her I will have a vision as well...

[@rsmzm2000]

She has always been many steps ahead, but in a completely different direction. Pure awesome.

[@AlexaY82]

Bear Saliva What you said sounds like a fun quote. Hm.... or an epitaph. One of the witty funny ones.

[@rsmzm2000]

AlexaY82, Thank you, I am a little proud of that one.

[@AlexaY82]

Bear Saliva, you're welcome! Thank you for creating it. I will remember it for sure.

[@funnycomment1861]

Well put.

[@planbtube]

Nonsense she never did that. She drank and drove with her kids in the car, and she is sorry about that today.

[@BlakieTT]

LMAO, NICE COMEBACK Jon. That suit can be jazz too! Hahahaha XD

[@duncangilpatric987]

The whole interview was their revenge for last time

[@erickoontz6835]

I absolutely adore Paula Poundstone! Thank you so much for inviting her to your show, Stephen Colbert!! Each weekend I listen to "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!" and if Paula's not on...it just isn't the same. Terrific to know I can follow her podcast.

[@itgetter9]

This is my favorite Poundstone joke, from her days in stand-up . . . (paraphrasing) "They tell you that if you're trying to discipline a cat, you should just squirt them with water from a little spray bottle. So that's what I do. And one day, I get out of the shower, and my cats are sitting there staring at me, with their facial expressions saying, 'Maaan, what did YOU DO?!?!?!?!"

[@maryanneslater9675]

Oh, jeez, I can just see that too. Cats can be so perceptively expressive. I was sewing on a button one night and the cat got off the couch and wandered out to the kitchen for some kibble. And I absentmindedly said, "While you're out there, would you mind bringing me the scissors?" He sat down in the doorway and looked at me until I realized what I said and why it was stupid AND said, "Sorry, never mind. I'll get them myself."

[@itgetter9]

Maryanne Slater: Hahahaha! That was good.

[@sarina76667]

I remember that bit!! It makes me laugh even more now because my cat has no response to water. He just sits there and lets you use the spray bottle on him. He'll lay in the sink, turn on the faucet and let the sink fill up with water. Then, jump on my bed and demand pets. "Why are you wet!!!?"

[@itgetter9]

sarina: Ahhh, that gave me a smile! Cheers!

[@kayhaven4710]

"It was... ALL. OVER. YOU. There was nothing we could do. You must've reaaaaaally messed up." Classic. For me, the whole lube rack bit will always be the first thing I think of when I think of her.

[@freddieb4268]

I love her on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Very funny woman.

[@avedic]

She's totally my favorite guest/host from _Wait Wait Don't Tell Me._ She just seems like an all around cool lady.

[@TimeandMonotony]

Same, she's always been my favorite!

[@JesseWright68]

Wait is the biggest waste of your NPR donation dollars.

[@DallasTaylor]

Disagree, her humor is very weak by most standards.

[@freddieb4268]

steve b I’ve already been hit by a drunk driver while in my motorcycle. I had sympathy for the guy. We’re human, we make mistakes.

[@RobHollanderMusic]

Paula has a hilarious improvisational mind and she is a blast to see live, particularly when she starts riffing with the audience!

[@boondocksdragon8959]

That Carpenters' reference! 😂🤣😂 OMG She's like the hilarious queen of the candy stripers!

[@luluvox]

One-of-a-kind lady right there. I've loved her for years and years.

[@claytonis1]

I'm glad she bounced back from her addiction and legal troubles. I always thought she was funny... and her crowd work during live shows is top-notch!

[@hhouser9783]

Touching kids isn't legal troubles.

[@vincentvega5686]

@@hhouser9783 but she's asexual or is that just a ruse? hmm...

[@gixellia8455]

Love her whale metaphor :o)

[@VianneyCreates]

Paula Poundstone is the best! I have loved her since the early 90's. Awww, her "felt" reference. Takes me back to Sunday School, all of the cute felt boards our SS teacher would make (or buy, not sure which)!

[@godlygamer911]

The best people are kiddie diddlers

[@PaulMcElligott]

Somewhere in New York, there is a naked circus barker face down in an alley.

[@ce7282]

Paul McElligott 🤣😂

[@lilyweatherwaxHRH]

😅

[@mysnellvilleblog]

Paul McElligott That’s not a problem to me. Circus barkers are noisy and have those handlebar mustaches.

[@mysnellvilleblog]

How is McElligot’s Pool? I bet you never hear that one. Har har

[@mhharley]

🤣🤣😂😂

[@karyfrancisco1383]

I gotta admit, many years ago, I saw her cameo on Family Guy. I didn't know she was an actual person. Then shortly after, I found out she was, and was very much like the version Family Guy portrayed. And now, she's absolutely delightful.

[@philliplopez8745]

Fashion may be purchased, style must be owned . Paula is a proud owner !

[@kellyalves756]

Phillip Lopez Truth!

[@godlygamer911]

Proud owner of a kid diddler award

[@lulugurl6547]

Seen it in “ felt”... 🤣

[@olivia6063]

Living in Sweden, yet another great comedian I've totally missed! She's gold! *watching every clip I can find of Paula.Telling my husband I'm busy, very busy laughing*.

[@vivienleigh4640]

Jag hade också missat henne fullständigt. Hon är helt otrolig!

[@soarel325]

Paula is still my favorite host on Wait Wait and a severely underrated comedian.

[@merlin8537]

Once again, Poundstone nails it.

[@cardhutt]

she also nails children, so..

[@itgetter9]

That suit is the bomb. Also, good interview: tell it, Paula Poundstone!

[@keithbannister9271]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@keithbannister9271]

The suit looks ridiculous, even for a male...SMH

[@BiggaTigga]

Love, love, love Paula Poundstone!

[@cardhutt]

she's a chomo

[@msteaguer1908]

Excellent analogy!

[@jamesbutterson5218]

Haha anything can be jazz, like that suit 😂 got emm!!!

[@mikearmstrong1045]

Paula Poundstone one of the greatest comedians, male or female, ever ! Im glad to see she didn't retire like I had heard.

[@duffeemaddox6557]

Paula Poundstone is my idol! I shook her hand at her booking signing and then cried!

[@jessa.4529]

Duffee Maddox I feel this is relatable bc....Paula

[@chewqatman]

Her suit looks delicious.

[@captlanc]

It’s like a candy cane!

[@joeshmoe9233]

minty goodness

[@gateauxq4604]

Afree Stephen said peppermint ice cream I started salivating and subconsciously wanting to lick the suit. That thing is magnificent and so is Paula.

[@NewMessage]

Still one of my favorite comedians. And fashion icons.. She was wearing oversize suits and extra long ties way before Trump stole the look.

[@godlygamer911]

She also touched kids

[@veronicamoss2597]

Issues....

[@archetypeineros3082]

abcnews.go.com/US/comedian-paula-poundstone-arrested/story?id=92986 Unlike Orange crayon Trump she was charged with touching kids

[@agricolaregs]

The Rageaholic I just learned this. Very sad. I’ve always loved her comedy. Now...

[@snowflake3361]

LOL We know why they “had” to be alone. The boss insisted, and of course trump was eager to please his boss. 😈

[@Ring0fSaturn]

Paula is a proud Atheist (as am I) and Stephen is a proud Catholic. When she jokes that she still goes to church because she is not a heathen, she saves the show. Few comics are brave enough to declare their Atheism, because the channels and the hosts so rarely warm up to free-thinkers. I'm proud of Paula for being true to her beliefs.

[@VannaWhiteboard]

I adore her. Got to see her stand-up routine up close at Cobb's Pub in SF in the late 80s. She was always a favorite, nice clean act, no swearing , nothing triggering. She was Ellen before we knew Ellen.

[@VannaWhiteboard]

Tell us more about that.

[@VannaWhiteboard]

Oh! I thought it was a proven fact. Never mind, then. She was always great when I knew her.

[@Cancun771]

You can Jon Batiste literally see thinking how he himself would look in a suit like that. With a matching top hat.

[@boondocksdragon8959]

Cancun771 I say no top hat but matching shoes. 😆 I think Jon would look sharp in that suit.

[@jamesmcinnis208]

"literally"

[@lindajayneclark767]

Touché!

[@MarcoPolo1299]

My mom loved Paula Poundstone until the day my mom turned into a Trump supporting psycho. I just don't understand how that happens? People who turn their backs on families and automatically drop anyone who criticizes Trump.

[@ocoss1983]

DeadTownManifesto1985 that’s sad, I’m sorry for your family.

[@annesimon537]

Was she checked for dementia, seriously?

[@mp5249]

DeadTownManifesto1985 awwww. Learn to think critically. You supported Hillary???

[@Auriam]

No criticism of their savior allowed

[@TheOnlyKateslate]

My condolences on your mom turning into a traitor-loving non-patriot. I know it must be painful.

[@2dasimmons]

It's GREAT to see Paula. haven't seen her in YEARS. God bless her!!

[@westsideAUKILANI]

😂 She's funny. I like her

[@snipexd4964]

Check out "wait wait dont tell me" podcast. Paula is super funny on it! Updates you on the weeks recent news.

[@joeb6137]

Tune into you local national public radio station on Saturday mornings around 11 for wait, wait!

[@curtisslone7243]

Supervandal No, she is not a child molester. She was arrested several years ago for drinking and driving while her children were in the car with her. You should research your facts before making accusations like that.

[@melindassimpson7936]

@@Supervandal No, she's not.

[@jennytalbert5547]

@Curtis Deputy District Attorney Gina Satriano said the "lewd acts" charges against Poundstone related to a single girl. The prosecutor said such charges are filed against defendants accused of "any type of touching of a child under the age of 14 for a sexual purpose. Want more?

[@reneelibby4885]

Paula, I love you! You are one of the most talented comedians! I will see you at BULL RUN EVERY TIME you come!!!

[@noras.5355]

Great seeing you Paula! You GO girl!!

[@k_a_y_l_e_e]

i was raised lutheran and, yea, the felt comment was profoundly relatable.

[@mkely9032]

Now an atheist. She got over the fairy stories.

[@Seashellsbytheseashore21]

Presby for a time, same!!

[@julier.1902]

I don't get it. Someone explain please? Thank you.

[@glowfishin1]

Julie Russell many of us went to Sunday school as kids in different Christian denominations and were taught Bible stories via "flannel-graph" felt characters that stuck to a felt or burlap board. This was in the dark ages before VCR's and Veggie Tales.

[@irairod5160]

Julie Russell, many of us who grew up going to church in the mid-70s to mid-80s spent lots of hours in bible school rooms decorated with burlap and felt banners hanging from wood dowels and macrame frames...I know it was the fashion of the time, but I also think many protestant churches had a very strong desire to create a home-spun, earthy look to connect with "the common people" who felt other institutions (i.e. the Catholic church) were ostentatious and out of touch with "the regular folks". The crafty, handmade, rough-hewn aesthetics were also attractive to by-then-much-grown former "hippies" looking for a spiritual home. I saw big changes in the early 90s--emails and Power Point presentations replaced flyers and silk-screened posters to announce events, for example. Now it's all done by Twitter and Facebook...but yes, I remember the days of felt and burlap on every church wall.

[@KENNECTED1]

This was hilarious and I wish this segment was longer. She seems to be a fun guest.

[@edikanpeter656]

Backwards for mankind 😂😂😂

[@runningbrook9093]

Paula is hilarious I watched one of her stage shows on the internet and she had me rolling. She is a natural. We should definitely see more of her.

[@wynstansmom829]

Paula is funny and witty. Curious how Stephen tried to play with her in the beginning and Paula just wanted to tell her story. INTJ anyone?

[@annesimon537]

Wynstan'sMom She just had a bit of stage control anxiety, lol.

[@wynstansmom829]

That makes sense. I've watched her engage in some 'witty repartee' with other clever people. Ms. PP can hold her own. I must resist urge to make PP jokes on Colbert's page. He does it much better. I'm a big fan and was thrilled to see her show up on NPR.

[@itgetter9]

Wynstan'sMom: Great observation. Hadn't noticed that 'til you pointed it out. Have a great day!

[@randywein]

A Meyers-Briggs NT personality for sure, but maybe less of an INTJ architect than an ENTP machine gun. She is unstoppable in one direction, then veers in a completely new direction ... with high anxieties of a self-described obsessive-compulsive.

[@wynstansmom829]

You sound like you are really good at understanding people. I like your analysis and it suits her. I seem to remember a machine gun joke from Paula. I'll have to go see If I can find that routine.

[@avedic]

Yay! It's my favorite guest/host from _Wait Wait Don't Tell Me!_ She just seems like an all around cool lady.

[@TravisRichey]

I've loved Paula since I was a kid and she did a bit about reading a sign that said "Don't even think about parking here." and she said "What are they gonna do? I'm *thinking* about it!" ~Trav

[@mircat28]

"...and if they call the cops on me I'll just tell them I was thinking of something else."

[@jennymcmillin5668]

Travis Richey I loved that bit! “ I’m thinking!” 😂😂😂

[@MsThebeMoon]

"i'm an atheist. I go to church. I'm not a heathen." lol

[@helenpatterson3858]

HA ha ha ha....when she says I already clean my house with a toothbrush. Back in the early 70's when this country girl temporarily migrated to the city (S.F.) I met a person with such a fast moving metabolism I feared the worst. I still hear Amphetamina Annie playing in the background. I asked. He looked appalled and said " with MY metabolism!? It would kill me !"

[@madnessbydesign1415]

I kept expecting her to hand out candy. I remember Paula from "Dick and Paula's Celebrity Special", and "Home Movies". Both animated shows. Both hilarious...

[@missharmon]

Madness by Design I just re-watched Home Movies for the umpteenth time, she is hilarious.

[@dennischacko499]

I was just scrolling through to find someone who knew her from home movies. I actually didn't know who she was and was watching this and recognized the voice

[@madnessbydesign1415]

missharmon, Home Movies is one of my all-time favorite series. Absolutely brilliant (get the soundtrack if you can - also brilliant)! Dennis Chacko, She was the mother for the first season, and she was great. I think it was second season another actress took her place...

[@kimb6974]

I haven't done meth ... lol

[@zane4218]

First time seeing Paula! love her voice and shes hillarious!

[@genuwineU2]

very funny...good chemistry​

[@seir323]

Oh man! Thanks for having her on - I remember her standup from the 90s/2000's and liking her a lot, but I didn't attach the name to the face - I had no idea she was on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me! That'a a fun show! So glad to see her again, and know I've heard her too lol

[@kellybuentiempo6924]

I love Paula, great stuff! Thanks.

[@ScottysAnimals]

Paula Poundstone is a National Treasure!

[@SSS-qz8jy]

She’s actually very funny

[@avedic]

Actually? lol

[@jamesmcinnis208]

@@avedic thank you. Yeah, why "actually"? It's as if someone said she wasn't funny

[@sewgatormomm]

I love Paula!

[@maxmiller7575]

I went into this thinking she'd be terrible, I came out dying. She was GREAT!

[@ravingmadman3]

I love this woman! Her voice is so wholesome!

[@toothpastehombre]

2 amazing caricatures of beautiful, bizarre, hilarious people in one night! Great show

[@juliepurpleskater1736]

Nailed it! LOL

[@tennillepatterson5500]

Yeah, what's up with the felt?! 😂😂

[@jacksonwilliams8971]

“I’m not a heathen” “We know and love you from Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell me” Did the editors get an Emmy nod too cuz damn

[@KMStatsData]

100% true: I have loved Paula Poundstone ever since I got a VHS tape of her stand-up from Pop-Tarts.

[@whocares_bear]

LOL @ the Clown suit. All she needs is a top hat and she will literally be the Mad Hatter.

[@dangerouslytalented]

I want that suit.

[@mskarlawebb]

i lovw you, too, paula!! your analogy is SPOT ON.

[@lw3269]

I adore Paula, but this is not representative of her best work. There is some animosity between her, Stephen, and Jon. If you really want to hear how hilarious she is, listen to her on Wait Wait. Her stand up improv is also unparalleled.

[@mrowr4097]

Lee Weaver the rest of the video is great, it's just an awkward start

[@Spirits-n-Giggles]

What a gem.

[@NorthMountainFairy]

It’s awesome to see an atheist who isn’t as belligerent about their belief structure as the more severely religious people. As an agnostic I often find them equally annoying, but these two are awesome on either side of the spectrum.

[@kciN1221]

She's hilarious! disappointed by the audience silence here and there but come to think it right now it's a little hard to get in a good mood after earlier today or yesterday

[@cs5384]

They may be uncomfortable the the fact that she plead guilty to three counts of lewd acts upon a girl younger than 14 a few years ago. But yeah she's pretty funny.

[@DallasTaylor]

Its because she's not actually funny

[@benm5221]

xxrujd I'm not hating or judging, but dropped charges is not proof of innocence or truthfulness.

[@lilyweatherwaxHRH]

Not religious, but - does "may he who is without sin cast the first stone" ring any bells??

[@jennytalbert5547]

@Dallas Taylor I've never found her funny from the very beginning. She used to be a comedian that tried being a politician and now she seems more like a politician trying to be a comedian.

[@the4thj]

OMG YOU HAVE TO HAVE HERE FILL IN FOR VACATIONS! OR JUST HAVE HER ON MORE!!!!

[@jennymcmillin5668]

the4thj YYEEESSSSSSSSSS!!! MORE PAULA! MORE PLACES!!! MORE OF THE TIME!!!!!!

[@MR-intel]

As for whales, the story goes that when the gigantic Helmut Kohl was Chancellor in Germany, he nearly drowned during his beach holidays. People kept pulling him back into the open ocean.

[@sylvie7752]

What a delightful surprise. I love Paula, she’s a voice of my child hood

[@elioteverdeen]

I got a Trump ad before watching this video... I'm dying of laughter.

[@TGreen89]

That music compliments her outfit so well. 😂

[@leleiskindofcool]

"Ive seen it in felt" haha.

[@camnsprencheria3225]

Yeah baby! Christmas Candy!

[@frankievalentine6112]

That's not a metaphor, that's an analogy.

[@jnelnormeda4292]

Love her!

[@johnaustx]

Love Paula Poundstone!!! Also check out: "Cats, Cops and Stuff"...... She's hilarious!!!

[@darrenkrivit6854]

Felt boards!🤗

[@burkelong4376]

She always cracks me up.

[@QueerBiNatureNYC]

I Love Her :)

[@JJ-kl7eq]

Being larger I propose calling a whale of a metaphor for Trump a “metaphorty five”.

[@coleenparsons4905]

ZING

[@sharonolsen6579]

James Jumper ... LOL .. brilliant !

[@chrisb1478]

HAH! Very cute, well done!

[@parandhamsai]

I didn't know who she was till now, but she's amazing. And it was awesome 6 minutes

[@HylianTicipated]

She's a snack.

[@gabepatton9851]

a mint, yea

[@polarbearsrus6980]

a box of popcorn. LMAO!!!

[@k-hops7792]

Her suit is that candy in your grandmas candy bowl that nobody wants, and is stuck to the bottom.

[@abkl1]

PAULA!! YES!!!

[@luckyDancer100]

I love her outfit. It looks like candy 🍭

[@headlyl]

Welcome back, Paula! We love you!

[@LePamplemousse1918]

You know, I really like this video! Paula Poundstone's great.

[@Tebigong101]

That felt joke took me back

[@juliaconnell]

who is this woman? she is brilliant!!!

[@rosemma34]

Julia Connell, Paula Poundstone appeared on Colbert about a year ago and Stephen, I felt, did not do a good interview. I'm glad he asked her back. This time he was appropriately respectful. Unless I miss my guess, she got her big break when Robin Williams got her on the Tonight Show with Carson.

[@plaidpanda]

She's been doing stand up at least since the early nineties. Really funny.

[@chrisb1478]

She's been around since the late 80's look up her standup! She is hilarious!

[@judydoyle1124]

So glad you found her! Welcome to my world!

[@Supervandal]

It was super hilarious when she was arrested for child molestation, and then pled down so she didn’t get jail time. :/

[@aharper12]

I've seen it on felt.... LMAO

[@MissAngela007]

Is available now...wherever u get ur podcast

[@bluesquirrel3919]

I love Paula

[@bigearl8757]

A local show called Mr. Peppermint used to come on television when I was a child in the 1960's/1970's. Mr. Peppermint used to wear a suit just like that.

[@UnagondolaBlu]

Nobody has articulated the current American disaster so well.

[@Coolcat3]

Loved her on home movies

[@wetlazer]

Looks like a candy cane. It's too fun.

[@youmeuswe9723]

Rock on Paula!