How To Meet Women At The Grocery Store

[@BrennanAngle]

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” *Mission failed. We’ll get ‘em next time.*

[@theomeester90]

Hahaha I could even hear the audio that goes with it

[@sodokios3286]

@@theomeester90 with the background music

[@abrahamdoucette]

@@johnfulcher8448 in some countries, smiling at people means you want to get into a relationship.

[@grandmaster8944]

No we won't , we'll never get them

[@HaplessOne]

@@johnfulcher8448 people who unironically describe people as alpha or beta are gross.

[@SirTrig]

"I don't wanna make her uncomfortable" *stares uncomfortably*

[@Jayd0993]

Lmfaooooo

[@tolerableAiluros]

"I don't wanna make her uncomfortable" *unnecessary arm touch*

[@FalconRS]

If that predatory stare is his best attempt to express empathy, I don't want to imagine how it looked if he tried to look predatory. Hard mode.

[@GryGroven]

It's the most uncomfortable scene I've seen all week.

[@fredman2640]

"Flirt with an employee. They have to be nice to you" This man is a genius.

[@toblerorormneron981]

Fred

[@gosponstrojevar6856]

So sad

[@mar15115]

Big brain

[@nicolaspetrus3861]

surprised he didnt say they cant say no to me ;)

[@seleneslunarium]

The one thing I really hate about working retail.

[@AJHille]

8:26 I love when he goes crazy, it’s so different from how he’s normally monotone

[@JM-bu7nq]

Lol

[@xxab8xx2]

Bruh that bitch was powerful

[@AvadotRaaex]

That is captain price

[@paul_warner]

He sounds like half a dozen A-list actors whose names I can't quite put my finger on. Edit: Tom Hanks

[@chriscoven1610]

I watched this video when it came out and everytime I have watched it, it still brings me great joy

[@bradonhoover3002]

"The smile needs to be natural, and there's a couple ways you can fake that"

[@sodokios3286]

This comment killed me

[@leojaramillo6618]

😂😂😂😭😭

[@giuliad223]

It's so weird that he has to fake being happy about meeting a woman, you don't HAVE to do that if it doesn't make you happy Alan

[@sashizakura9124]

Bradon Hoover Ugh, what's so creepy about that is that he's apparently coaching people who walk around expressionless...or drooling or slack-jawed or something. Sure, it's all well and good when you start off forcing your best smile, but if she's dumb enough to take the bait, the mask will soon slip, and she'll know the horror of being stuck with an expressionless robot before long.

[@JEMurl]

@Sachizakura Teach me Master

[@dayzeeking7320]

He treats her like a shy animal he's trying not to spook

[@delightfullyjoyfulmiracl3255]

That’s what women are to simps & incels, fucking unicorns or pegasie

[@BillyJack85]

That's because he plans on eating her

[@tuser8]

@BillyJack85 *o u t*

[@slygarci6138]

Yeah it’s cause he’s a creep

[@praisethelordjesuschrist3554]

@@BillyJack85 lmao bro

[@SmarkusAurelius]

"hello female, do you too enjoy ice cream?"

[@toby8309]

If human says yes you say the. You say well you'll like my homemade cream.

[@lucasmillerthelewderofloli9327]

I though this comment was coming from more of an incel angle, not robot one.

[@RStoelinga]

Yes, I too love putting ice cream in my mouth and letting it slide down my troat

[@s3njiro901]

Would you like to partake in the consumption of cold and flavored creams of ice?

[@NSFSponsor]

"You want ice cream bitch?😠" Gets em everytime.......

[@tomekorzechowski5852]

The moments everyone came for: 5:30 he smiles 8:26 he rages about donuts

[@MandraMockups]

happy Cinnamon sticc and 2 donuts likes!

[@luizinhoensina]

That smile has me shitting my pants holy fuck

[@e-money5085]

Don't forget, this guy started his video by saying "hello I'm Allen, co-founder of astromiruaskgg"

[@TheSilentninja200]

Actually came here to hear what Alan is co-founder of the one and only "asscromedia" or whatever the fuck

[@TheKaiTetley]

This may be the first time I have ever experienced cringe. Good grief this guy is embarrassing.

[@setov1663]

This video should really be called "speedrunning getting peppersprayed"

[@SuckyTiddy]

Pepperspray Any%

[@Echoesoftimelover]

RNG is a bitch

[@benjaminisbester3582]

@@SuckyTiddy im ded

[@l3cr0c]

@@SuckyTiddy Any% all aisles

[@Orel_ll]

I want to see that

[@omar_ali_000]

I'm really impressed that he's managed to convince us that she's not his sister

[@MadZax33]

I'm not convinced....

[@MrWinning43]

You can literally see similar facial structure. They're atleast cousins lol

[@princevegeta7487]

IVE BEEN THINKING THIS SINCE H3 REACTED TO THIS VIDEO YEARS AGO 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@hamiltonmcgregory3179]

definitely siblings or something. They have the same features lol

[@Truck-kun_01]

Huh

[@johnsun11]

- joke about icecream (???) - grab firmly into her shopping cart - ask what does she like to do for ''fun'' what could possibly go wrong

[@Knappnax]

john sun other than a lawsuit because of sexual assult, seems fine 😂

[@jacobmartinez2857]

Sounds like a porn intro

[@ExodusTheProphet]

@@jacobmartinez2857 you sounds like a bitch cuh 👴

[@Argonak1]

I think we all know what could possibly go wrong, but...hear me out. What could possibly go right?

[@PrivatePeterson]

Hahahahah🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@neefofway8746]

“I know ice cream is very fun and very interesting”

[@rickinilsson9686]

The kids love it.

[@lmddhumour]

That’s not even oblivion dialogue!

[@rhiannonm8132]

The “employees are paid to be nice to you” thing is exactly the reason you shouldn’t, you know, harass employees

[@kudostymgs8780]

Seriously, I work in a grocery store and whenever a random stranger talks to me about something not pertaining to my job, it makes me really uncomfortable. Like I'm just trying to work.

[@ArchaicScorpio]

As a cashier, I usually try to steer the convo to keep things from getting too awkward? Buying cat food? "How many cats do you have? What kind? ect" Getting camping stuff or s'more stuff? "Going camping soon? Got a plan for the weekend? ect" It really helps since I'm really fucking awkward at making small talk, so using their goods as a catalyst is just the easiest way I found to do it. I've literally had marks on my record because sometimes I wouldn't talk to customers if they didn't seem interested or if they're on their phone (maybe it's an important call, don't be rude). This guy is creepy as fuck, and if I had him, I would consider calling security, or at least a manager over so I wouldn't be alone with him. Yeesh!

[@user-fc4so8of8o]

Hey, can I get some directions?

[@wahlflower3517]

Unless I actually know the person, I keep all of my conversions with employees are short and polite. The regular question of "how's your day" is not an invite for you to spill your life story nor to ask them for theirs.

[@megastoejoe]

Where do you shop? Because this tomato would be great for your hair.

[@SSNOEY]

I feel like most of us use penguinz0 as a cringe shield, none of us could watch this video by ourselves

[@boingy-m5q]

if it weren't for Mr. Moist and his groundbreaking wisecracks we'd all be fucked

[@diegonunez1313]

death by cringe

[@jcasella78]

Also, I don't want to give the originals the views

[@boingy-m5q]

@@sawyermccrary2187 normally I'd agree with you that awareness should be brought to fucking weirdos like this, but in this case it'd literally only line the weirdo's pocket with ad revenue.

[@JayMaverick]

Hehe, like a cringe buffer. You're driving into a brick wall of cringe at 50mph but there's a penguinz0 branded airbag to protect you from the strongest impact.

[@robbz1029]

8:26 i think we need more of moist being loud 😂

[@tring-aling-ahim-bahoo-lah6378]

"I like your cart, it looks like you put things that you want to eat in there." LMFAO this is subtle comedy at it's finest.

[@tullac3386]

I reckon you could get that jk to work if u did it properly

[@JoBo0209]

General Panini underrated comment 💀

[@warpath6666]

I use this line at the grocery store "Oh hello there. I came here to get eggs and milk. You look like you want to get bred" ........... so smooooooooth 😆😆😆😆

[@devg8417]

600th like

[@ohgodohnothebees]

General Panini That porn probably exists

[@foxfriendly5337]

"Flirt with an employee. They have to be nice to you." He's blatantly admitting that his strategy only works if they are being paid to talk to you

[@kakikutya7912]

@Zooted Ludes its just not how that works people who work at grocery stores are either 50 year old people who cant have any other jobs or 16-20 year old guys or girls who hate it and just doing it for the money, trust me, shit sucks and some random people just coming up to you talking about fucking icecream wont help.

[@trustthesauce]

@@sanmedina unless you're ugly... it's the only time ugliness has its benefits 😭

[@CyberWarezz05]

Ugh, this is soo annoying.I used to work in retail and I hated the fact I had to be nice to every pervert, disgusting sleazes or angry assholes.Just because to boss told us"Be nice to peope or I'll tax you"

[@sup_monica3597]

As a bartender I disagree. I'll tell you to leave me alone!

[@AngryReptileKeeper]

I feel terrible for the female employees at his local supermarket.

[@AshlynOne]

"Talk to employees, they have to be nice to you." This is every female retail staff's worst nightmare. Please, just let us get through our miserable days.

[@sinsoftheswamp8346]

Hey it makes men uncomfortable too it doesn't happen as much but I does

[@contactkeithstack]

Haha the other day I saw a guy ask the gas station clerk about her nails, then asked to touch them, all of them, which he then did. It was fairly incredible.

[@island5317]

I guess male retail employees just don’t exist then

[@AshlynOne]

@@island5317 Nice try smartass, the video wasn't about hitting on male retailers.

[@outis439-A]

You bastards. No Fuck you. I got questions on where the goddam horse reels are, and quite frankly I don't give a shit about your miserable days when I HAVE TO FUCKING SUFFER BEING THERE JUST AS MUCH AS YOU. It's your godd damn job. So sorry, how you guys never know where anything is, and try your hardest to avoid being asked questions but you should fucking know. So yeah, fuck you.

[@buck3401]

I love how Charlie is generally monotone in the way he speaks, and suddenly without warning goes full-on rage mode.

[@MichaelOrtega]

How to meet Penguinz0

[@RubleBubble]

Michael Ortega Except you gotta have a trumpet for that

[@bigfatcarp93]

This is the greatest critikaling of all time.

[@Snout007]

Nice piano skills, mate. This guy kills it with instrumental music if anyone is interested.

[@brknotbrklyn1]

Go to Tampa ,Florida

[@anselalldredge1205]

How to meet god*

[@jeffmurnahan]

I bet he tried to hit on her after the video and she turned him down

[@bubba99009]

jeffmurnahan There's no way she could resist his ice cream jokes. He even had to cut them from the video so he wouldn't be mobbed by pussy everywhere he went.

[@emanatingf]

@@bubba99009 Oh boy

[@georgev7845]

Then he had to eat the ice cream to comfort himself.

[@iksskan9147]

@@georgev7845 after he creamed her duhh..

[@christiansolano2554]

Took him down*

[@childofanolddeadgod1278]

"I see you're getting 2% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? 'Cuz you're not. You could be drinking whole milk if you wanted to."

[@UsernameTaken404]

@Zooted Ludes more like 69 ;)

[@Not_aHorse]

@SKE more like 116

[@Funk_Monkey]

@Tristen Coronado more like 165

[@arron390]

@@Funk_Monkey more like 169

[@Morty143]

@Zooted Ludes bro your reply has 6 thumbs up *so far*

[@lonetonee]

I love rewatching Charlie’s videos years later lmao

[@MrSlendyMannn]

8:26 I’m so used to Charlie being monotone towards practically everything that this threw me off guard.

[@dmsas360]

I accidentally played this full volume near my parents

[@Nixzria]

THIS FEELS TRAUMATIC?????

[@PhysicalEngineering]

r bruh

[@Kya10]

I wish I could scream like that tbh... or at all lmao-

[@sebastianriz4703]

It still catches me off guard and makes me laugh my ass off even ti this day

[@CanIswearinmyhandle]

That actress deserves a medal for her bravery. Bet after filming the creep started practising his new video; How to talk with actresses you've hired

[@alchemistnezumi9780]

Oh No Fuck that actress, give Charlie a damn Oscar for 8:24!

[@kattatatatat6361]

“It’s perfect because you’re already paying her to be there”

[@CanIswearinmyhandle]

Bubbles185 Maybe her husband and child are being held at gun point off-camera

[@izmanharfan4719]

Bh

[@HYDROPHILPLAYS]

I found Allen on Facebook and to me it kind of looks like they both are (still?) married together. I could be wrong tho cause obviously the video is old af 😅

[@Shikimo]

This is one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever seen. I request more.

[@vegapunkslab511]

same

[@honeybest2851]

Have you seen Nate Flick’s Employee Evaluations? There’s one twice as uncomfortable as this 😂😂

[@DavidsWeirdMedia]

8:26 He's a very good voice actor! I came here from an animated version of this skit and I genuinely thought that he was pissed. Nice job! LOL

[@bug8992]

Who animated that?

[@DavidsWeirdMedia]

@@bug8992 Captain Cling

[@bug8992]

@@DavidsWeirdMedia thank you

[@DavidsWeirdMedia]

@@bug8992 You're welcome

[@AzariaBell24]

He sounds like Adam Driver

[@abrahamthebewildered1448]

Step 1: Grab her cart so she can't get away. Step 2: If she tries to run, tackle her to the ground and hold her there. Step 3: Make ice cream joke. Step 4: Introduce yourself. This part's important, otherwise. . . It could get a little awkward. Step 5: Ask about her. Things like "How are you today?"" What's your address?"" Do you live alone?" Remember, it's rude to only talk about yourself. Step 6: Take notice of one good feature she has, and make a compliment. For example "I wish I had your skin." And remember, persistence is the key to a woman's heart!

[@tss1473]

Step 7: progressively make more body contact with her until she screams for help

[@aanylagrant8482]

[INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR] I got tased and put in cuffs instead

[@undatedpeak1829]

Must’ve messed this up because it didn’t work might need further instructions

[@Haven_city_civilian]

Lol

[@Haven_city_civilian]

Lol

[@foxstrats995]

How to Meet Victims At The Grocery Store

[@kurdishpotato1707]

a comment with so many likes and zero replies is so unsatisfying, so i'm just gonna leave this reply dammit

[@moonkingdomify]

I mean, the way he talks is exactly like how a serial killer talks to their victims.

[@Frank-il3kt]

Nick Gure 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@swishask8875]

Niiioga

[@ohgodohnothebees]

Renn Oh god

[@joseph-fernando-piano]

"I know that ice cream is very fun and very interesting" sounds like something a shapeshifting alien might say to try and blend in as a human...

[@CyberWarezz05]

"Hello, fellow human female.I too, like to ingest the delicious frozen dairy sorbet"

[@jangobaby6812]

@@CyberWarezz05 😁

[@1bingbongtingtong1]

NOOOO hahahahahahahahahaha

[@DCBiscuit]

Thank you.

[@1bingbongtingtong1]

@@DCBiscuit ?

[@jokersgame1380]

He sounded like he tried teaching a class of middle schoolers for like 3 months before yelling at 8:30

[@the_s0lar_system]

Please dont try and flirt with workers. It's extremely uncomfortable, as a person who has been hit on. I have no way to escape the interaction or call the person out or anything. Its terrifying

[@alydiaforten5011]

@Balthasar Gérard If it's an incel they'll get pissy

[@yuliiza]

@@balthasargerard7246 yeah cuz that's easy

[@indiansmokar]

yuliza it is

[@alydiaforten5011]

@Balthasar Gérard I live in a very small town. There was a 20 something year old girl who lived here, she was an amazing person and although I didn't know her too well, everyone else knew her. She was into anime, a cosplayer, a musician, and a very kind person. I used to see her at church. Anyway, this girl met a guy, whom she wasn't interested in, at her place of work (an art store). Because she rejected him, he went back to where she worked the next day and shot her 5 times before shooting himself. This is something girls are warned about from a very young age, and it's virtually every girl's worst nightmare. Of course things like this happen everyday, but it's even more shocking when it happens in your local town to someone you grew up with and everyone and your mother knew. You have to remember that people can be mentally unstable and very entitled, especially obsessive/creepy guys towards women in particular. If I was a 6'5, 250 pound male, it would be a different story. But I'm 5'4, 95 pounds--and a woman. So I will admit that I have pretty much 0 strength and can easily be taken advantage of. It's especially scary if you're an employee and that individual now knows where you work. You have to be careful when interacting with people, because you don't know who they are. Nowadays, it's only getting easier for people to track your location. A simple, "no thank you" or some other rejection, can actually get you shot by some crazy incel/mgtow/ect. who thinks they're entitled to women.

[@alydiaforten5011]

@@balthasargerard7246 How is that even remotely relevant to my point? Where did I say women cannot be bad people?

[@theinsensibleanthropod9688]

Why does the actress looks like she's held at gunpoint

[@larrylentini5688]

Because she's a great actor who really got into the role 😂

[@PayondeAwsome]

She's taking the advice of this expert guru and keeping eye contact.

[@haida.pie00]

The Insensible Anthropod they probably brother and sister

[@minecraftmovieman1]

She is

[@-_A-_-I-_-T-_-O-_-R]

She’s intimidated

[@ChumperDumper]

If a girl catches your fancy make sure you stare her down, block her cart, and then joke about frozen food until you can "talk about doing it together sometime"

[@thearousedeunuch]

Unzipping your pants also helps.

[@ericmendenhall2867]

@@thearousedeunuch what pants?

[@thearousedeunuch]

@@ericmendenhall2867 Just touch your private parts if you aren't wearing pants. :D

[@ericmendenhall2867]

@@thearousedeunuch You can do that? Wont god get mad?

[@thearousedeunuch]

@@ericmendenhall2867 He will not like it, but he will understand your dating strategy.

[@FoxheimStudios]

8:26 **in tears** okay man I like the chocolate doughnuts I’m sorry.

[@ForgottenPassword]

I haven't consumed a powdered donut since this video released. everytime there is one in my immediate vicinity all I can feel is all consuming fear

[@vtvfilms2388]

"I know ice cream is fun and interesting, but I really want to know, what do you do for fun?" What an awkward and erratic method.

[@rampagerslife]

if you can't do, teach!

[@hugo.hugo420]

“Look at this fun ice cream. Jus LOOK AT IT!”

[@thehumblelion1128]

It's the language of gods you fool

[@harshwardhanthakur1311]

erotic*

[@alydiaforten5011]

I'd be turned off immediately if this is how a guy decided to start a conversation. It's cringey, boring, and predictable. The best way a guy was able to start a conversation with me in the grocery store was by asking a deep question about life. He was lighthearted about it and completely open to my response. It wasn't creepy or boring. He started it with, "Can I ask you a question?" It was so interesting to me, and we just kept talking for a couple hours in the aisle. He ended it by mentioning that we could finish the convo over text. I made absolute sure I got his last name in case I put in the wrong number. That was four years ago now, and we are as close as we've ever been.

[@zincminer]

"are you trying to be argumentative?" He's becoming abusive before he even picked the girl up. S-Tier

[@Thr0mamay]

It's HER fault! She is making him hurt her. See what you made me do bitch!

[@MegumiCiBear]

carl brown I laughed so fucking hard 😂😂

[@zKatari]

Ca3 SaR just seems like playful sarcasm and if you deliver that with the right tone it can come off well enough imo

[@Knoxerboy101]

@@zKatari You sound like one of the perma virgins who think this pick-up artist shit actually works.

[@zKatari]

Knoxerboy101 when did i ever say this shit works, i was talking about a single thing he said and maybe you would know a thing or two about socializing as well if you actually did it lmfao, sounds to me like you’re projecting i bet you haven’t spoken to a single girl without them trying to get as far away from you as possible

[@gabbievee]

my skin literally CRAWLED when he touched her. a strange man coming up to you, picking out beauty products for you, and touching your arm SCREAMS sexual predator. that is SO CREEPY!!

[@gabbievee]

@@KungFuKendrick it's not just the arm touch, wise guy. it's his all of mannerisms put together.

[@ApplesforOranges7]

I’m glad you were able to sniff that out

[@KungFuKendrick]

@@gabbievee lol

[@lemonswsushi3644]

@@KungFuKendrick Why are you defending that guy? He's a creep, point blank period. This comment clearly points out why, maybe you need to reread it. They didn't just talk about the arm touch. Put yourself in that girl's situation. Notice the red flags.

[@KungFuKendrick]

No, wtf

[@corundum1966]

I like the idea that Alan spends all his time in supermarkets scouting out women and thought he was so good at it that he made a tutorial

[@boodro2122]

I tried this method on a girl at my local grocery store the other day and my wife was NOT thrilled! Do NOT follow this tutorial!

[@joey19xx73]

Is your wife single.?

[@TheDisapprovingBunny]

@@joey19xx73 she will be soon

[@Fubuki_Kai]

@@TheDisapprovingBunny I lol'd

[@ooferrell]

Sheesh!!! Why do wives have to screw everything up.

[@tanyakwankis]

My Husband wasnt happy either when I tried this.

[@VazzyCow]

*I'm shook, I've never heard you scream before*

[@tin5697]

HOLY SHIT That was like god commending me to hell in Dante’s 9th circle.

[@ep1cn3ss2]

That was the funniest thing ive seen this week, LOL, he's always quiet and then all of a sudden he does that. I did not expect it at all lmao.

[@bft_neelix3862]

yeah holy shit.. thats going in my book of firsts.

[@GalaxyStandard77]

I immediately got Vietnam Flashbacks from my father yelling at me

[@brunocarranzaaragon921]

Now I'm level 100 woke

[@blokvader8283]

I'm legit just watching her face the whole time, because you can easily tell she's insanely uncomfortable but has to look happy

[@jotarokujo3603]

Everything she said was the shortest possible reply and the one time she tries to give him a little extra to work with he kinda loses it and doesn’t know what to do. Like she’s being paid or something to be here and still can’t stand this dude.

[@audreyhartman]

@@jotarokujo3603 she's most likely being paid to be in it lol which makes it even worse

[@jotarokujo3603]

Audrey Hartman that’s definitely my first assumption. This lady even tried to work with him and he just couldn’t handle speaking to a woman. 😂

[@sonyfanboy1617]

Blok Vader Well, it’s better to be paid with money than having to perform sexual favors to a narcissist

[@jotarokujo3603]

Sony Fanboy where did this idea of sexual favours come from? The options are: 1. He paid her to play the part of a stranger at the supermarket but he still made her uncomfortable. Or 2. She really is a stranger at the supermarket who is now extremely uncomfortable and is far more likely to be calling the police than performing any sexual favours. I’m not sure where the confusion arose but at no point was this discussion about whether she was there for money or performing sexual favours. I honestly can’t even imagine where that fits into this story or where you pulled it from.

[@Viktorreznov1942]

This video is such a classic, I've been coming back to this when I need a good laugh for 2 years now.

[@SauceMaster-]

*"That was a perfect example of eye contact"*

[@jasonbivieca1859]

I felt so bad for her

[@skippydinglechalk2947]

she was actully laughing at him, not with him

[@RealRed01]

en.dopl3r.com/memes/dank/what-you-see-vs-what-she-sees/94061 lol

[@KB-rh4vd]

🤤

[@glaucusyellow]

Walking down the halls in hs smh

[@SmileytheSmile]

*6:15* She is so scared of him that she can't even keep that weak fake smile on her face any more.

[@rnelody5496]

she looks like she's in physical pain

[@skizzlechizzle]

Lmao her eyes are so lifeless

[@ngmajora6986]

Smiley the Smile ah ExpertVillage....a true master of the arts

[@MediocreTodd]

He's more afraid of her than she is of him.

[@TheRealDarkSide830]

Scary thing is that she's obviously been paid to do this, yet still can't keep a straight face. That man is a creep.

[@DevonPalmer98]

Yep when I go to the grocery store my end goal is plow town.

[@fettuccinealfredo4393]

When I go to the grocery store my end goal is to bring my tastebuds to FLAVORTOWN

[@BigT.Larrity]

When I go to the grocery store my end goal is to buy groceries at the store that sells groceries, a "grocery store" if you will.

[@Wodgedev]

Yep when i go to the grocery store my end goal is not dying of starvation.

[@realhumanbean7915]

ZombieKing ZKDev My goal is to eat beans in an alley while watching cars 2 on one of the demo televisions

[@nothat0therguy992]

Devon Palmer isn't that everyone's ultimate goal when going to the grocery store? It's certainly mine.

[@CivillianNumber86]

This video may be the only one where Charlie shows his true yelling power. We must take note of this

[@hackeysackgod2540]

"The smile needs to be natural" *proceeds to tell you how to manufacture a smile*

[@blokvader8283]

I saw your profile picture and just remembered that that video existed.

[@memenazi7078]

Ik it’s painfully unnatural. He’s trying to fit in with the other humans

[@antoniorivera8321]

@@blokvader8283 what video

[@antonhelsgaun]

Her face at 4:42 is faker though

[@thatguy3000]

@@antoniorivera8321 This one: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hojIZaufas-mh68

[@shannonhill5676]

8:26 OMG....I laughed too hard that tears ran down my face. I never thought I'd hear penguinz0 that loud and aggressive but it still made me laugh.

[@blokvader8283]

Ikr he always just sounds bored and sad

[@riotonquak7433]

Yep.

[@_RobBanks]

At least his face matches his voice - lmao

[@confusedaf1112]

He's not even talking to me but I feel called out.

[@MeatEatingVegan777]

Holy shit, it actually scared me, but it made me laugh.

[@chickentendies6210]

Alan:**steals woman's soul** "NOW THAT WAS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF EYE CONTACT"

[@togarmah9848]

_👁Fetch😘me💋their😻souls👁_

[@phoenixfire5046]

Togarmah COD zombies reference. I see you are a man of culture.

[@andreyshort9167]

Your soul is mine!

[@barimayberry]

She has to be bat shit crazy to be involved with the guy that has a mug shot down at the post office.

[@Seissmo]

FETCH ME THEIR SOULLSSSS

[@chrishouston3566]

This is no joke. Under this mans tutelage i've slayed so much super market snatch that they've dedicated an entire isle to me at whole foods calling me poon handler of the decade.

[@JohnSmith-vw9rz]

duke silver happen or it didn't pics

[@taitherapper4949]

Holy fuck, respect

[@amonstar424]

Legendary

[@MasterCrash123]

Do they let you set up a booth to give free samples?

[@thescrimble]

How long has this been at 420 likes

[@jm_r245]

2:54 the way he walks and looks makes feel like a song for an early 2000s music video would start playing

[@howtheheck8639]

Nothing says “I’m a romantic guy” like stalking women in a grocery store

[@misplacednewyawker]

With this CV it is probably happening a lot.

[@cosmicturtle107]

"How 'bout that ice cream, eh? Hard to imagine it all started with a cow huh! huh!?" *awkward chuckle* How I met my wife.

[@Toxicstarxd]

Icecream started with your wife?

[@AudiZYX]

@Lee Judd I can help you

[@leorickaldana366]

LoL

[@ymakj]

Ur wife is a cow?

[@shraderX5]

Bro I'm literally crying ahahahhahahaah

[@gabrielsebastianelhagezote1486]

8:27 Ok, that's not Charlie. Charlie doesn't posses such level of emotion.

[@EnriqueGonzalez-u1f]

Of course he isnt Charlie what are you dumb? Thats clearly Allen the alienator

[@thememeguy2135]

@@EnriqueGonzalez-u1f *Alan The Anihailator

[@dogpeek]

@@thememeguy2135 Alan The Annihilator*

[@dogpeek]

@@spacecadet_01 i actually did that to annoy him you know. spellchecking the spelling nazi.

[@Bane2TuffAtBall]

He’s an A list actor what do you mean?

[@Maser0708]

Short haired Charles is unhinged

[@isveryniceyes]

Short haired Charles is hot af Ftfy

[@numburger]

@@isveryniceyes I highly disagree. He's like Yamcha; The long hair really adds something that isn't there otherwise

[@examper22]

He kind of looks like a creepy version of Sal from Impractical Jokers.

[@adamrose3139]

Lol that's why I clicked the video I thought it was vintage footage of him.

[@sandpiper5705]

Implying Sal isnt creepy in the first place

[@examper22]

@@sandpiper5705 nah, he's just Italian.

[@chicagobullsfan03]

@@adamrose3139 same

[@qmance8062]

Holy shit yeah he does

[@outsidercain3038]

"Greeting, XX genetics carbon-based lifeform. Your endorphins levels rised at the sight of this compact frozen milk in a round cardboard shape. Can I probe you later ?"

[@Unknown-gf1ci]

Lmao

[@Tyyrantgod]

outSider Cain this is an underrated comment

[@zero_meercat8624]

LMAO

[@katery28]

outSider Cain HAHAHAHHAHA

[@UrBestBet]

Lowkey that might work lmao

[@MrGoldenSniiper]

2:59 is when your fight or flight response should kick in btw.

[@lee2791]

He really said 😏

[@MarikMetal]

Thanks Albus Dumbledore

[@impossibletowel7085]

I half expected him to start licking his lips.

[@good__person]

yep, it's totally active now

[@downfromthereeefters]

That face was terrifying

[@MythicalxToast]

When moist yells it’s like the whole universe collapses. It sends chills down my spine so strong it’s indescribable. Moist’s intimidation is so powerful all you can do is drop down to your knees and beg for mercy

[@sharsasuke01]

Hold your girl when Alan is around.

[@arizonatea3734]

I would immediately kick him in the nuts to ensure his alpha testosterone dragon slaying knight in shining armor princess saving powers are diminished slightly.

[@mons3020]

I'm sure you and your girl could tag team the little incel lol

[@kadenduncan1561]

alan would spell his name like that

[@lilmagicme5514]

I would need my girl to hold me man

[@GeodesicBruh]

Duke’s the name Hide yo bitch

[@carnivault]

"Employees are great because they have to be nice to you" I spit out my soup

[@kenziemac130]

Alois -Booty Shorts- Trancy nooooo... If a customer starts harassing us we have the right to leave... And report it immediately... This guy's a creep.

[@dopey3186]

Alois -Booty Shorts- Trancy What kind of soup? This is important.

[@dopey3186]

Cereal And Milk woooosh

[@dopey3186]

Cereal And Milk well then i've been wooooshed

[@carnivault]

Frünken Flüberbert, uhhh it was chicken noodle

[@lockndock1929]

8:25 This genuinely surprised me. This is the greatest flurry of emotions of all time.

[@snowdaysrule]

Red Raddit The yelling scared the shit out of my cat haha

[@lockndock1929]

snowdaysrule2 Eyy, im actually getting a cat soon. First thing ima do is show it this video.

[@SaadKhan-ck5tc]

I couldn't hear properly so I turned up the volume and this literally made me jump and lower the volume as to not wake up my entire neighborhood 😂

[@queenlilith7461]

Red Raddit his face makes it even more funny

[@liaojendyk9167]

"You started making jokes about the ice cream." I fucking BURST out laughing. What a comedian!

[@MASTER-SHAKE]

Some poor guy out there watched this and actually took advice

[@LirylCrovyn]

Wonder if he's still washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

[@devilpuppetsinc]

Worse than that, some poor girl was on the receiving end!

[@kwanyewdst9561]

“haha ice cream more like you scream amirite anyways you do anal”

[@MASTER-SHAKE]

@@kwanyewdst9561 A man who cuts to the chase! I CAN FUCKING APPRECIATE THAT!

[@xXxThelegend27xXx]

God, I was that guy once

[@seneca5925]

8:26 is the reason im scared to even look at a powdered donut

[@santino86k]

mhm

[@adrianc7055]

mhm

[@Dibzy.]

mhm

[@riddlerx994]

mhm

[@XxxHawk66]

mhm

[@gportech]

Lesson no1: when you see a girl at the grocery store, imagine you're snorkelling off the coast of Aruba.

[@Dulraen]

and do not approach her

[@austinalley9346]

Lesson no.2 : Make sure she didnt have a boyfriend or get married ...

[@SeemsLikeSomething]

Lol that comment made me snort-laugh 😂

[@mikedupree9032]

Natalie holloway

[@raulrocha7555]

@@SeemsLikeSomething yo me too LMAOO

[@ChaossX77]

That actress deserves an award for smiling through this train wreck.

[@Filippa1.1.]

He literally grabbed that womans cart when she was trynna get by

[@markl4159]

Oh hi, we meet again

[@resinds.p4898]

@@markl4159 Oh , hi Mark

[@darthlynx5792]

@@markl4159 I did nnnnnooooot. Oh hi Mark.

[@praisethelordjesuschrist3554]

Lol

[@stevensalas2078]

I want to like it but it's at 666

[@bluebandit5586]

i had never heard him raise his voice until now. bravo charlie

[@the5thestate587]

Blue Bandit he spooked me a little

[@bluebandit5586]

The 5th Estate I had to lower the volume on my headphones. It created a moist moment.

[@Lucas-hd3hk]

someone needs to make it a gif

[@srbrant5391]

Alan is the kind of person you’d see in the news alongside words like “flayed” and “ritual.”

[@beccataylor2589]

All in the eyes baby. Those eyes are all we need to know.

[@downfromthereeefters]

LOL

[@stephaniemorrissey123]

🤣🤣

[@friggyk]

*I swear, I ALWAYS COME BACK TO THIS VIDEO TO DIE LAUGHING* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@WickedRibbon]

"That was a perfect example of eye contact." actual eye contact: ( ͡◉ ͜ ʖ ͡◉)

[@sbstratos79]

I think the good old Lenny fits better. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@heydenleekley4757]

That was honestly the best example I've ever seen of a dude undressing a chick with his eyes.

[@bipo819]

It’s at 420 I won’t be person to mess that up

[@vicenteramirez4781]

The few milliseconds before Charlie starts yelling is low key the scariest thing I’ve ever experienced

[@BirchKST]

That's the single biggest display of emotion I've ever seen from him.

[@Timbiscuit12]

@@BirchKST Yeah, honestly, it's a good thing he never yells or raises his voice because damn, I'd hate to have that anger directed towards me. And his voice sounds like a different person too, he turns into Hulk Charlie or something.

[@seleneslunarium]

Her expression: " Please leave me alone, I'm just trying to shop. " Her expression is a cry for help.

[@souljastation5463]

His expression is a cry for help too.

[@ChaosXP923]

It's all so sad.

[@axtra9561]

shes an actor stop acting like this the damn video before he went out and tortured an entire family. I mean yeah, dudes kinda creepy but still...

[@DeadAccount_CC1]

8:27 Man, Charlie should really become a voice actor

[@Gmh-]

Alan looks like a bug that transformed into a human but stopped on 90%

[@nibras162]

Men in black reference?

[@Inlinetodie]

Reminds me of the bug in MIB. Vincent Danafrio or whatever

[@Inlinetodie]

@@nibras162 hey lol yes

[@coldcartcold8633]

Tbf Chris kind of does too

[@Goldfish-xn8in]

This made my day

[@thecrustacean4711]

5:30 charlie's smile is why this has 2 million views

[@Chiefdatskrong4383]

Nah it’s 8:28

[@JA-yj2se]

He actually has over 3.6 billion views

[@bel3090]

@@JA-yj2se they mean on this video lol

[@BigmeatyAnk]

@@Chiefdatskrong4383 yes

[@justbored4762]

It's 2.5 m

[@Nonexistent_Music]

*”Talk to employees they have to be nice to you”* oh Allen that’s just sad :(

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

Also not entirely true. I can totally be polite while still looking at you like you were dropped on your head as an infant.

[@jking0.o121]

@@eyesofthecervino3366 that's hot

[@eyesofthecervino3366]

@@jking0.o121 ',:/

[@jking0.o121]

@@eyesofthecervino3366 😉😝

[@Pactastic042]

@@jking0.o121 got a point tho looking for the kinda woman that will scare me and beat me up some liver punching lover

[@pastaconnoisseur8441]

"I don't want to make her uncomfortable" Meanwhile the actress: 😓😬

[@itsbillytimenodaddy]

Alan looks like if every Impractical Joker fused together

[@karenk6985]

Lmao

[@Gchildwarrior]

And without the charisma

[@brendanreilly4675]

I can’t really see Q though, but definitely the other three

[@15PlayboiCarter]

@@brendanreilly4675 how can you see murr

[@brendanreilly4675]

@@15PlayboiCarter I guess the uneven hairline sorta goes with murr

[@nightmarishcompositions4536]

The eye contact part made my soul shiver.

[@gallowayboy7]

Thanks Charlie, because of this video I was forced to become a polygamist because of all the bitches I’ve been picking up at Walmart

[@kylejonas3875]

Alan is so confident that he filmed in front of the hair growth product. He doesn’t care what the girls think cause he knows he can get them anyway

[@WeAreTheQs]

"This is the aftermath of a great approach" Dictionary definition of aftermath- "the consequences or aftereffects of a significant unpleasant event."

[@noahjensen7788]

This guy is a master of surreal humor

[@friedchickenUSA]

he just likes math

[@marshallc6885]

-Ted Bundy

[@thecrabjail]

Also, if you look closely, you can almost see that actress blinking in Morse code.

[@ifanbenmedz]

I thought my social skill was terrible, turn out, there's this guy

[@bryancartagena3286]

Tony Hazama - Hahaha And I thought I was bad..... I definitely improved socializing but Ive got a long way to go but you’re screwed if your at his level.🤦🏽‍♂️

[@dudemcnude1314]

I dont even have aspergers and im also quite socially very retarded lol

[@delightfullyjoyfulmiracl3255]

English isn’t your first language is it?

[@WayoftheDave]

I have level 7 autism and even I've got better social skills. Christ, I'm so socially retarded I say things like "I have level 7 autism" when it's not even graded in levels (probably). If it was I'd be around level 5. Anyway, any hot chicks here, I've been watching this guy's tips and I'm getting pretty good

[@WayoftheDave]

@@trina.98 I'll grab my coat

[@garrysucks4190]

8:26 No wonder he's a SSS+ Lister, that acting is amazing, top notch, and an easy 100/100 on the moist meter.

[@solomonrivers5639]

In all seriousness here’s a real pro tip: Go after the girls in the sit down cart that have trouble walking. They are usually really receptive since society doesn’t give them much attention. The only real obstacle is initiating a conversation before their mother notices you arguing about pastries with their child.

[@micahandrejczak3015]

underrated

[@erikfinkel2717]

Do YoU LiKe BlUebErrY PiE!?

[@happysegway]

Do YoU LiKe CaNdY??

[@sepehrbabaei2177]

How do u do fellow kids?

[@HavikRPG]

@@happysegway _I HavE PlEnTy CaNdY iN My VaN CuTiE_

[@Pierce1996h]

My future husband stared me down from across the grocery store and then forced me to talk about ice cream and soccer. Now we are together forever, I'm dead in his basement.

[@Moon-mj7le]

Homosexicle oof

[@blizzrd8372]

thats hot

[@revolvingworld2676]

Now he has his very own ghost wife

[@will4emerson]

8:27 discord mods when the 13 y/o in the server wont go out with them

[@Krainage_7]

69 like nice 👌👌👌

[@kingtaylor1268]

yikes

[@saumyatandon9229]

269

[@Tacoterm]

As a discord mod, can confirm

[@kkrone]

1000

[@fya911]

5:30 that smile is unbelievaby eerie

[@spit_milk]

"Employees are great to talk to because they're paid to be nice to you." THAT IS WHY YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE. They're obligated to be polite to customers. Whenever a customer flirts with me at work, it's uncomfortable and humiliating, but I have to smile and nod. This guy's next bit of advice: "The women chained up in my basement are great to talk to because they're agreeable."

[@Werewaffle]

Lucien Hicks Sir your words have slain me, but thanks to you I die laughing.

[@Wolf-Chalk]

Allyson Moore that's a mood. I got a old man customer who's always flirting with me and it's so awkward.

[@wingnutz4284]

agreed flirting with employees is very weird and dumb. They obviously have work to do so they shouldn't have their time wasted by people that can't go out to meet someone like a normal person.

[@pepepepe7550]

Allyson Moore I scream

[@pepepepe7550]

Allyson Moore you got a cart I can block?

[@machinekiller9501]

What Alan thinks women want to see: 3:00 What women actually want to see: 5:30

[@yukadiangelo]

ahahahaha genius

[@Moald]

alan bad charlie good

[@lcdream4213]

that face is kinda cute tho

[@lcdream4213]

i mean charlie’s

[@holidayoreoreal]

Watching the for about 3 seconds and then clicking on the second time stamp is one of the funniest things ever

[@QraQrJaq]

8:26 this is the most energy I’ve ever seen in Charlie

[@ac-ak5020]

All that energy for donut's flavor

[@devanshsingh3369]

Wooo baby!!! That's what I've been waiting for!!!!

[@arkonez6730]

What about the missinput clip?

[@hug_bug]

@@devanshsingh3369 ye, that was more energetic imho

[@lazydelibird]

From his voice yes, but against cockroaches and wasps his physical abilities shoot up to superhuman levels.

[@KandyKoatedCreature]

8:26 Omfg Charlie's acting is god damn terrifying, especially when he he screamed "BITCH" at the end... But I laughed halfway through because of the "Pastry isle" line, that was hilarious!!!...

[@Kennyishness]

This is the type of guy that persistently reassures you he's a "nice guy"

[@harrisonlee9585]

Allen Who Meets Women At The Grocery Store is my favorite SCP monster

[@bobjoe8893]

Harrison Lee dont lose eye contact or he’ll snap your neck

[@vincentgfx1215]

8:25

[@lanexyz]

Ok Ok nice

[@LPF7]

dude that jokes fun andd all but it is ( he is my favorite scp) not(he is my favorite scp monster) , not cool dude

[@GoodLuck-qe5np]

SCP-al has breached containment, all units, please evacuate

[@edinsauce9776]

8:27 I think this is the only time in my entire life that I will be able to hear Charlie yell

[@ididntmeantoshootthatvietn5012]

Watch "moistcr1tikal most popular twitch clips" on youtube

[@confusedaf1112]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/bmjNooSee6uio6M He yells here

[@mochigojo9753]

I was so shocked i had to pause 😭

[@markl4159]

Cockroach Encounters

[@eialys]

The one where he makes sausages now too

[@sober_katz]

this video feels like aliens trying to be human "hello xx chromosome species, do you too enjoy the frozen dessert humans call ice cream?"