Permission to eat

[@nellijune]

Haha, yes, it really is that easy after all. 😆 I had "challenge saturday" and I planned to challenge myself in several things. I thought that it would be scary day with blood, sweat and tears. In the evening I was flabbergasted how easy that day was. 🤷‍♀️ Giving oneself a permission to eat and relax sounds terrible hard and scary if one is thinking about it. If one just mindlessly do it, all is so much easier. 😁

[@oksanakaido8437]

Were you able afterward to then make every day a "challenge day"? I just feel like, yeah, it's good to challenge yourself but if it's a one-time or an occasional/scheduled thing, that's not really about becoming free. I've added more foods in that I didn't eat in the past, but I still don't feel free to eat whatever, whenever, still overthinking a lot.

[@nellijune]

@@oksanakaido8437 I understand what you mean. Same for me. Strictly planned, occasianally made challenges doesn't really make mental rewiring. It is easy to do it one time, but I still couldn't take those as a part of everyday life. Stepping into all in and just letting go of restriction is difficult. Overthinking ruins all. But it is the step one must take, unrestricted eating. We can do it! 🔥

[@kullykaur7736]

I can not eat A MORSEL beyond my eating plan ( given by eating disorders team). Any increases, any changes MUST BE MADE BY THEM, because when they ask me " what shall we change?" , I freeze in horror. I said, you choose, you decide, YOU TELL ME....I heed THEIR PERMISSION...its awful. I want to break free.

[@sandrahafner5854]

I'm so sorry, that sounds absolutely terrifying and like the exact OPPOSITE we should be doing in recovery. Is there any chance you can get your team to read Tabitha's book (did you read it? HIGHLY recommend) or even schedule a call with her? Or does the "any changes must be made by them" come from your own head and they actually would be open for you to eat more? If so, you really just need to push through and take the plunge and EAT. I know it sounds scary, but if you want to recover (it's your decision if you want to), there's no other way than eating!

[@aliceroberts7280]

i really needed this today - honestly, thank-you so much

[@greernorton8419]

Thanks. Needed to hear this. 😊

[@harmonyhope1709]

Thank you so much for this sensitive yet honest and direct advice 🙏😊♥️ Hope you're OK Tabitha and all the pipes are sorted xx

[@livylytaube6963]

Hey there! Thanks for the video! I love how clear you are about ED crap and recovery, so helpful! I have big trouble coping with intense anxiety and distress after eating whatever my ED forbids.... I even dissociate. I want to do it, but is just can't see how, I don't know how I can survive this. Any tips how to deal with that? Love your videos and hope the pipes are doing fine now :))

[@deathechovii]

I get hung up on macros, vitamins, fiber, and others like cholesterol etc on the grounds of to much/little. This of course causes regression on certain levels. It's like I'm inadvertently trying to keep my body from having to much of one thing* that I end up doing more damage. * e.g excess protein can cause kidney damage etc

[@annaverena111]

i truly think that if people (doctors and medicals but also people having recovered) talked more about how extremely much you actually need to eat to recover (thousands upon thousand of calories a day) as you tabitha have (in your book etc) there would be so much less guilt around eating in these quantities which would lead so many less people into this extremely vicious cycle of eating - shame/guilt/fear - restricting (otherwise known as bulimia!). so often on youtube people who have recovered absolutely avoid talking about calories with the intention of not triggering anyone, which i comprehend to a certain extent but i just know (!) from my own story that it would have been SO much easier for me to actually recover and reduce my fears and avoid running back to anorexia so often if i had found someone like you, tabitha, much sooner because by normalising the fact that your body requieres thousands of calories a day to heal was in the end truly the most important thing for me. and even after recovery you often need so much more than the general guidlines of eating only 2000 calories a day (just the amount that sent me heavily into anorexia) - once you spoke about eating double the amount even after recocery and i think this is just so important to bring to people‘s attention. for me knowing that was also so helpful and anxiety reducing. i therefore often wonder if secretizing calories in order to avoid „triggering“ does not maybe do more harm than good. so thank you tabitha for having spoken about your intake, i trulytruly can say that that was in the end the key for me to dare the jump into real recovery.

[@annaverena111]

and also apart from the bulimia / binge eating part i hypothesize that (even though i absolutely understand that gaining the least possible should never be the main focus/goal!!!!) people would settle at a much lower weight because when it‘s normalized that people need and do eat so much more than health professionals recommend for optimal health, your body perceives that people eat a lot and therefore there has to be a lot of food around which brings it out of that famine mindset much sooner.

[@klakla241]

Last year in December I finally stopped restriction after years and years of yo yo dieting. In the final months before this I dieted so hard, I fasted 2 days in a row 1-2 times a week without any food and then ate only small amounts of keto foods. I still was flabby and nowhere near to the skinny look. I performed bad at work and after work I went straight to bed to sleep because I had no energy. Now after almost 4 months without restriction I gained 24 kg, this is now 11 kg in addition to my previous all time highest weight. I have more energy and a better performance at work. But I am constantly out of breath, have problems when moving too much, because of the weight I‘m not that flexible in my movements anymore and the clothes sit so tight. I feel so uncomfortable that I tried to fast my weight down again. I didn’t lose any weight. That was scary. I hope that the weight will come down by itself in the next weeks and months. I‘m now over 100 kg. And I hate to feel so unfit. 😣 it is a very Hard process to go through.

[@taylorpannell5477]

I have been in recovery for over a month now, and I now have my period back and don't have as many extreme hunger days already. I am wondering when I should stop tuning in to my cravings for highly palatable foods and eat more fruit and veg. Will those cravings subside naturally? I crave sugar like crazy all the time and people in my life have been concerned about how much I'm consuming. Hope you can answer this one, thanks Tabitha !! Love your videos.

[@thebabyhater]

They will subside, DO NOT restrict at all. Source: me, whose extreme hunger has settled down a ton two months in and I have started craving veggies (sometimes).

[@sandrahafner5854]

I'm not Tabitha, but maybe my thoughts help as well: you NEVER ever for the rest of your life should stop tuning in to your cravings :-) As Tabitha says in a lot of her videos, it's normal to at first crave mostly highly palatable foods, because a) you have been restricting them previously and b) they provide much needed energy for your body the quickest way possible (which is a good thing from your bodies perspective). If you keep on listening to your cravings and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat everything you want, the cravings will balance itself out eventually. I'm starting my 5th month in recovery, and 2 weeks ago it was the FIRST time I was actually craving fruit and veggies again. Before I was maybe eating two slices of tomato on a sandwich - and that was it. I couldn't be bothered to eat ANY veggies (and I used to eat TONS before I started recovery) and just ate highly palatable foods. And A LOT of it, even more so in the beginning. I still eat highly palatable foods, but it's fascinating to feel how my body now starts to crave apples, oranges, peas, carrots and yesterday even broccoli haha. Trust the process and listen to your body, not to the people in your life. Your body knows what it's doing :-)

[@abss541]

@@sandrahafner5854 this os really helpfull thank you :)

[@taylorpannell5477]

@@sandrahafner5854 thank you ! it's frustrating that people closest to me often don't understand (and the world thinks sugar addiction is real) but your reply was very helpful and empowering :)

[@sandrahafner5854]

@@abss541 awww thanks! You got this!

[@haileyreign971]

Unfortunately, I can't do that yet without compensating. My past binge/ emotional eating history led to a health scare. Now it's like "Eating without control will lead to a health scare." I honestly don't even know if I really want to recover.... Because my brain has equated that to poor health & being undisciplined. 🙄😑

[@user-hj5ie3hi9i]

So you're choosing to stay sick, wouldnt you rather try to be fully healthy and fully recovered? I dont mean it in a rude way, I'm just asking because I've been there and realised I just cant be sick forever

[@haileyreign971]

@@user-hj5ie3hi9i Not rude at all. I would rather be recovered. I'm just unsure that I can go the route of self-recovery or recovering independently. I've learned to justify my thoughts & actions to the point where it's hard for me to differentiate if I'm doing something disordered or something for my health. Some of my behaviours seem normal to me & have been deemed as healthy by dieticians in the past. I really don't know what my recovery would look like since I'm not what people think of when they think "Eating disorder". I hope this makes some sense.

[@user-hj5ie3hi9i]

@@haileyreign971 most people arent tbh. I've been in quasi recovery for 6 years and it sucks. I think you need to let go of control fully in order to really recover and it's scary and it sucks and all but it's the only way out

[@haileyreign971]

@@user-hj5ie3hi9i yeah. I'm actually looking into getting medical help. You're right. Quasi-recovery is too safe to be effective. Thanks for your comment. 😌

[@user-hj5ie3hi9i]

@@haileyreign971 dont thank me, I was just curious. I wish you all the best !

[@carmenleghorn2559]

I just don’t know when, like mental hunger confuses me. I don’t know what is mental hunger or just me thinking about food or me making myself think about food because I have read and hear that I should honor mental hunger and it just confuses me so much. I have been eating a meal plan for just over 3 months now and don’t know how or when mental hunger is, could someone please help me figure it out

[@sandrahafner5854]

If you're thinking about food, it's mental hunger. If you're thinking about if you should think about food, it's mental hunger. Every thought about food and eating is mental hunger basically. Think about other body functions like peeing. If you're thinking about peeing, there's a good chance your body actually has to go. You wouldn't think about peeing (or wondering if you should think about peeing because you heard about it) if your body doesn't need to go. You also don't think about sleeping if you're not tired. So everytime you're thinking about food, take it as mental hunger and go eat. And even if it WASN'T mental hunger, so what? Eating is never bad. The more the better. From Tabitha's book I know that she's not a fan of set meal plans, because they don't allow you to listen to your bodys needs. If you're having a meal plan, you could take this as an absolute MINIMUM and from there start adding more everytime you think about food. Or swap foods if you feel like eating something else that day. Does that help? Hugs, you can do this!

[@sandrinemessier]

@@sandrahafner5854 She said it all! And you can’t fuck up recovery by eating too much, but you can certainly do by eating too little!

[@BB-ux5wd]

I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for me to eat unless others are eating 😞. How do I work through this ? Makes me feel so sad and depressed makes me feel weak that I don’t feel worthy enough to give myself permission to eat regardless if people are eating or not 😞

[@eleonoreconstant]

I think I use the excuse to not being able to eat while others are around so I dont eat. I could easily go anytime get some food in the kitchen but for some reason I only want to go get food when someone is there.... And as I dont want people to see me get food I just dont go in the kitchen to get the food as I only want some when someone is there ;) so messed up!!

[@alexaelizabeth7393]

Does anyone have any tips on eating out? I have not eaten out in ages and I am scared to eat out now bc I don’t know the calories

[@sandrahafner5854]

Just do it - it's the only "tip" there is. As Tabitha says, recovery takes hella lot of courage and going against our fears. So just - do it! Maybe not alone, take someone with you so you're distracted :)

[@kathleendowner6506]

It's good you don't know calories that's the whole point of recovery don't count calories