Feb 5 - Fear of Weight gain

[@issymather8116]

Hi Tabby! I’m actually fully recovered now!! Eat ANYTHING and usually 6-7 times, always eat till I’m full, don’t give a shit what anyone else eats or does! The only times I think about food is when I’m hungry or am excited that I can eat! I love social event and feel so glad if they involve food and friendship! I’ve recently started a full time job and am beginning uni. Everyone is commenting that I look healthy but also that I seem so happy and confident and I’m honestly so proud every time I grow out of a piece of clothing that used to be too big, there are many people around me with disordered eating yet this doesn’t trigger me anymore (I only feel sorry for them!). I also got my period back after over 2 years and wake up excited for life! HONESTLY THE ONLY REASON I STILL WATCH YOU IS FOR YOUR FANTASTIC SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!! Thanks a billion for helping me get my life back Tab (it was the hardest, most painful, most exhausting but most WORTH IT thing I have ever done)

[@r5zoeirabr651]

Did you have a weight overshoot?I think I'm stuck in quasi recovery even tho I'm in a healthy weight range,and I also haven't gotten my period or hunger signals back,it's been 2 years that I'm in this state,but I don't know how to get out of it! If you overshot,how long did it take for the weight to come off?

[@joannelander]

Issy M-G so happy for you! I hope I get there one day x

[@livsliving203]

Wow amazing women!

[@issymather8116]

@@r5zoeirabr651 I've reached the weight I was when I last got my period (my weight drop was slow and maintained at certain weights for some time when I was losing, only changing when I decided to try recovery until I relapsed again). Don't get me wrong I have many tough days, sometimes I cant stand to look in the mirror, feel mad when I try on clothes and get extreme urges to exercise and restrict again to be "healthy". For me this is NOT healthy, I believe you can only have a healthy body if you achieve a healthy mind. I think one major thing to get my period back was quitting ALL ED habits/perfectionistic expectations no matter how big or small as this greatly reduces stress in the long run (will raise it at first as you adjust but just keep fighting). when your ED starts speaking remember it is manipulative, you must do the exact opposite and remind yourself of the torture you live in under your ED and think of the freedom, joy, energy and adventure life will show when you live as YOU! Every day is still a small battle, I 100% believe you can fully recover, and even though I stated I was I'm not quite there but I am confident that I will be very soon. - if you want any advice, support, or answers feel free to DM me on my Instagram @issy_mather :-)

[@issymather8116]

@@joannelander YOU CAN! just keep fighting because I 100% know you can and believe that you deserve to be happy and free!

[@hattiewattie]

@Adam Waddington: "Adam Waddington ​Just a pro-tip: now that I’m in ‘real’ recovery, I see that I used to ask tons of questions as a way to delay fully committing. It’s as tho I wanted to feel like I had all the answers before starting. 1:43 Adam Waddington ​Ironic really, because I now see that 99% of the questions had the same answer: “Who cares? Go eat!”" YESSSSS!!!!

[@fibee8324]

I can't remember which live chat it was recently where you said you'd rather shovel shit than go back to being a personal trainer but it really struck a chord with me. I was planning on getting my certification, knowing it was the wrong thing to do - somehow I had convinced myself that if I put on weight through recovery, it was ok because people would still see that I cared about being healthy (because for some reason that's important???) What I knew deep down is that it would be the perfect excuse for having to watch what I eat, and stay 'in shape' which would ultimately keep me trapped in my ED. Not to mention being in an environment where I was surrounded by people whose only focus was their body shape!

[@emmacodrington9958]

Why am I having such loud instructive thoughts to restrict and move more !!!! !!!! I wake up each day with the aim to gain weight but then I find myself talking out of having snack because I have been sat still and have had a big breakfast !

[@jennifergardiner4742]

I love your posts - I laugh out loud..You are hilarious!

[@melon2962]

7:58 "LISTEN LINDA!"

[@joannelander]

I’m confused with the reply last night Cos I’m afraid of weight gain because I’m 3 stone overweight and can’t afford to gain more. I’m 11 stone 6and d recently lost 10 pounds and I don’t want to gain weight not because of fear but because it’s unhealthy carrying extra weight which a lot is due to mental health medication and underactive thyroid meds not kicking in till end of last year. When I ‘was weight restored ‘ from anorexia back in 2008 I hovered around 8 stone 6 and 9 stone 2 and was middle to top of my BMI range and I know everyone says fuck BMI now but I struggle to exercise now Cos of huge boobs, bad back and painful restless legs. I’m so scared of recovery

[@makayladay7938]

You have help with many people and I love helping you and your mustang horses in anyway. Please let me know what I can help. I love ❤️ you and please stay warm and safe.