Running as an Oregon Duck Almost Ended My Career - My NCAA Story

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It's Story time! A lot of you guys have been asking for this one so here it is the full story of my NCAA experience running as an Oregon Duck. And what an experience it was with a few more downs than I would have hoped for and it left me quite broken but reflecting on it 4 years on I wouldn't change it! It has made me the person I am today and I am thankful for that!
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[@bpisan]

Here's what I heard from a friend that ran at Oregon (2013-ish) who was a state champion runner in high school. He was blown away at the volume of the training, he ended up with a stress fracture and the coaching staff (in his opinion) showed no concern whatsoever. He spent a couple months trying to get some input or "coaching" on how to adjust the training and was essentially ignored. One day he decided to just not go to practice for a couple days to try and recover and no one on the coaching staff said a thing or even acknowledged his absence. That's when he realized that they basically didn't care and there was a dozen more guys just as talented as him standing in line gunning for his spot. He ended up literally just quitting with no interaction with the coaching staff and there was never a word, email, call, nothing. The coaching staff basically didn't coach but because of the prestige of the program they are a desired destination by the best athletes all over the world.

[@RunForPeace-hk1cu]

Translation: prove to the coaching staff your are worthy of special attention or they’ll treat you like a number. Once you are in their “star runner” orbit, I can assure you, you’ll get special attention. That’s how pro sports work. It’s sad, but it’s a business

[@haroldsmith7044]

@@RunForPeace-hk1cu You should read some of the other comments on this board. Sounds like the experience posted above is not uncommon.

[@jbeer2284]

44 year old guy here who likes to watch videos from runners. I run for health and go for 100 miles a month. Have not come across honest content like this and it was wonderful to hear the behind the scenes stuff. Have a 12 year old daughter who wants to get into running and I will share this with her if she gets to the college point in the future. Very real. Appreciate it.

[@ethevillagecryptid2293]

I'm really glad to hear you are looking out for your daughter and intend to help her avoid these issues! However, please, please don't wait until college to do it. My coaches pulled me up to my high school team at age 12, had me running 60-65 miles a week by age 14, and pushed me to run through injuries and restrict what I ate through all the years I was there. That treatment did end my running career as my body broke down at age 18 and has not recovered in the years since. My story is not unusual, either; I'd say that fully half of the girls at a competitive level in my state were in similar situations in high school. I thought that it was all completely normal and just the price you had to pay to be fast. If someone had spoken to me when I was 12, I might have recognized that it was wrong and been able to get out of there. Please discuss this with your daughter now and continue having discussions about what is and isn't ok for her coaches to ask of her and how dangerous restrictive eating can be. I hope you have a wonderful day!

[@mahalkita7351]

@@ethevillagecryptid2293 it angers me 2 hear your story,....soooooo many "coaches" who DEFINITELY shuddn't be coaching..... how many livez ruined via physical,psychological & sexual abuse.. your coach obviously hadda similar mentality 2 that alberto salazar skum (& countless otherz)...... i think you are still fairly young now & even tho we've never met i have faith that your body will eventually retuturn to operating on a HEALTHY level..... it won't be easy of course but it can & WILL happen.... hugz 2 you,........

[@PhilyBowden]

Thank you, that really means a lot. I hope your daughter has only positive and constructive energy from her peers and coaches in running!

[@jobanski]

I’m happy to see Oregon has a new coaching staff.

[@phrogges8920]

It sounds like such a dream to be coached by Shalane Flanagan

[@BenIsRunning]

You're a bloody inspiration Phily for sharing this! Got me with this one. So many takeaways for me and hopefully for so many watching. Positivity for me is essential in our very much individual sport. When it comes to pushing yourself to our limits, negativity is never going to lead to success. Sounds like leaving was 100% the right decision and you're so much stronger for it as a result.

[@ak8990]

I had a somewhat similar NCAA experience. I was division I as well. Before going in I was so excited and a bit naive, but so eager do my best and continue my progression. My father had coached me in HS, and I had done well, but I was ready to take it to the next level. My coach in college was super negative, swearing at us constantly, belittling us in front of our teammates, telling me frequently how overweight I was (now that I am a medical provider I am appalled by this), etc. It took me YEARS to undo all the psychological damage I experienced. Looking back I also see how I could have done things differently (it wasn’t all him), but it’s still so important to have a coach who believes in you and lifts you up instead of breaking you apart. Everyone needs different training, we are all different, our bodies are different. You cannot coach everyone the same. But the one way you can coach everyone the same is by lifting them up and helping them to believe in themselves. That will make them work harder and their bodies will be healthier.

[@abbyhorvath7067]

Same here! I ran at a Division 1 school and had a much different experience than what I was expecting. I developed endometrial polyps while at college and would experience painful side cramps and dizzy spells while running, which caused my running to be poorer than what my coaches expected. When I finally told them what was going on, they were very belittling and not supportive at all. I still wanted to run and compete, but not there. I left and it’s been 4 years now and I’m stronger than I’ve ever been, able to compete in ultras and road marathons while sticking with a schedule that works for me!

[@tonybowen455]

=[[

[@saskhiker3935]

I was a college athlete at an NCAA school in US and sadly my jr. Year I got mono. My coach made me train through my mono. I was in shape enough to keep running but not run well. Went from being a top runner on my team to the worst. Little did I know that running through a virus like mono and dragging myself through school would cause a life long chronic illness, chronic fatigue syndrome. I had a mono test from school that was positive and then my coach took me to a team physician who didn't do a blood test for mono but told me I didn't have mono. My life was never the same and I wish I took the proper time off running instead of sacrificing my health for life.

[@tomverdich184]

If you're still having CFS symptoms google The Lightning Process. I went through a similar situation to what you describe but have thankfully recovered. You can get your old life back! Hit me up with any questions.

[@mitchm556]

Had a similar experience with my ncaa coaches. After my second outdoor season I left the team. Was completely broken physically, mentally and spiritually. Ended up hating the sport and didn’t run for 8 years. I’m back to running and enjoying the sport again.

[@izabelak2800]

Wow. I'm reviewing these accounts and it makes me feel less alone. I was invited to run for U of O but went to a different college. The stress, pressure, and rigor made me dislike the sport, hate racing, and develop an Ed. I'm getting back into it and enjoying again, but like you, I had to tale a break. I would love to hear more women tell their stories.

[@ODSTKillerDillerz]

What a moving story. Thank you for sharing it. I wish you'd chosen a different thumbnail, as it implies you failed, where as you were failed by others and then achieved so much despite that. Inspirational stuff as ever 👍

[@SquidSquab]

It’s kinda clickbaity because you wouldn’t really expect it

[@PhilyBowden]

Thank you. It was a hard thumbnail to settle on for sure. Some thought I'd failed at the time, myself included, but of course now I don't see it that way - it was a learning experience!

[@_Domo_]

Dude your coach was so messed up!!! It's so crazy toxic of her to say that it's all your fault and that you need to starve yourself to be quicker -- it makes sense that that had such a negative impact on you. I'm really glad you got out of there and can be so positive about everything now, it's super heartwarming to see. Thanks for sharing this story, and keep slaying

[@ann_intube]

Thank you for telling this story. Being in a place where you like yourself is like seeing sunshine after months of rain.

[@almirh.5973]

Beautifully said.

[@dougmoore7424]

Thank you for the honest review of your time in D1 NCAA. I have a daughter in her freshman year running at a University on scholarship and a son who is one year away from running the same. The benefits of scholarship also come with so many additional pressures and challenging moments. This video helps remind me of what some of the challenges are and how I can best support my kiddos through these next few years. Keep being awesome!!!

[@laurainthehaute918]

Good for you! Positivity and love and encouragement the best approach. Kids internalize so much of what they hear. ❤❤your kiddos are fortunate they have a parent who gets it!

[@laurainthehaute918]

Bravo, Phily! I’m a psychologist and I approve this message! Positive coaching and mindset and taking care of oneself in a supportive environment is so key. Love what you are bringing to our sport!❤❤💪🏼🌷

[@mellenyoung]

This story about the differences in training, is making me think about a recent episode of the run smarter podcast with Eoin Everard about neuromuscular vs aerobic runners and training to your strength. Hearing the second part makes me upset as a family doctor who looks after a few teenagers with EDs. So great to hear you are in a much happier place now!

[@coreyhedger6750]

I had a very similar story in my track career. A bad coach who tore me down and didn’t care for me ruined my career. I’m proud of you for continuing on. I let it get to me and I quit after my first year of NCAA

[@philcowin2507]

I am 74 and have the desire to be the best runner that I can be. Your story of how you have fought through the negatives and overcome them is an inspiration to me. Running is more than running, it takes courage, commitment and a belief that whatever life throws at us we will be able to get through it. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Truely inspiring.

[@phillamb8808]

Not a failure Phily. Takes balls to come back and not let the experience define you

[@infinitegaming1015]

As a former collegiate athlete I found that lots of colleges overtrain athletes. I pr everything after college. Half the coaches are cookie cutter coaches that focus on one goal that works for only one person

[@brianonuanain7535]

Jack Daniels would almost certainly agree with you.

[@infinitegaming1015]

@@brianonuanain7535 Jack Daniel’s is the goat!

[@weissracing1977]

Agreed! I had a good college athlete experience but my coach still overtrained me and found out that I had a minor ankle injury my freshman year and then two years later I sprained my ankle really bad. I went to the doctor and the doctor told me that I had an minor ankle injury roughly two years ago. That explains why I was limping at the start of runs till I warmed up

[@denniselwell900]

Thanks for sharing. As someone whose health was also harmed by bad coaching, I appreciate hearing from others who have been through similar situations.

[@TadeuszCantwell]

Thanks for sharing, congrats on staying strong and keeping running.

[@tylernicholas2225]

I was not a collegiate athlete, but have fallen in love with the sport of running in my 30s, and greatly appreciate your stories and perspective! Keep doing great things!

[@markschraider]

Thanks for sharing this so openly and honestly Phily

[@nothingness55]

Thank you for sharing your story! Keep your chin up! Keep running!

[@acquij]

Amazing video; thank you for being so open and sharing your story.

[@caiocipolatti3030]

Thank you for sharing you story Phily! I’m glad you can talk about all of it so other people can maybe recognize themselves! Truly inspiring to see you so well after all!

[@runningcoach1989]

You had me captivated with your story, great to see you so strong and still growing, wishing you all the best in the new adventure - go Philly

[@gracedwyer3709]

Thank you for sharing your story Phily ❤️

[@bobbywrenn9510]

Fantastic video. The level of honesty and openness is amazing. Thank you for posting. You are such an inspiration for so many of us!!! Like you said "all things happen for a reason". I'm glad you made it through all that and have ended up in a much better place!! I can't wait to see what the future holds for you!!! Love the Grind!!!!

[@cg8175]

Thank you for sharing your story Philly. ❤

[@emiliojvr]

Wow Phily! Thank you for sharing this. It's encouraging to hear someone's testimonial of persevering through pain and challenges, both internal and external. Keep up the hard work!

[@joshkneller]

What an inspirational video. Thank you so much for sharing, I’m sure it’ll be a huge help for those who may be feeling or going through similar things. I did get a little choked up with the “I like myself” line. That one little phrase just shows how tough it was then and how far you must have come.

[@katedrew2103]

Wow Phily, what an amazing and honest story. You’ve come so far and can’t wait to see what you achieve in the near future 💫

[@dwaha]

Fantastic story, Philly. Thanks for sharing. Glad you are doing well!

[@markw2016]

Thank you for sharing your story. And talking about something that isn’t talked about enough. Keep on being awesome!!

[@handoll2659]

As an avid watcher of numerous running vlogs, it nice to see one from a different perspective with a personal and emotional point of view. Congratulations on getting through this experience and hope you go from strength to strength

[@alisonbinns7158]

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. Your honesty and self reflection are inspirational. Also like it better when you're not goofing around because there's so much depth to you. Thanks again.

[@jason.rams4]

Really appreciate you telling your story! I can't imagine the amount of guts and bravery it took to share this with everyone! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Love your channel more for this!

[@iq_by_0303]

After watching this, im so glad about the relationship and friendship i have with my coach. I can tell him everything and he understands it because he was a pro himself and knows how it feels on the athlet side.

[@gorillababy1235]

whos ur coach

[@iq_by_0303]

@@gorillababy1235 Jürgen Kerl

[@mvzinn111]

Thank you for sharing Philly. What a difficult time. I'm sure that you sharing this will help some other young lady.

[@johnsenior478]

This was so insightful and honest - glad I watched it and glad you’re in such a good space.

[@trevorhillier4041]

This is why I love watching your videos , the honesty from a top athlete.

[@schoukri]

Thank you for sharing your story. It took a lot of courage for you to prioritize your health and wellbeing and get yourself out of that toxic environment. Thankfully your love of running survived that ordeal and now your career is back on track and headed in a positive direction. Keep grinding!

[@chicanohek]

Thank you for posting this, I still haven’t come to grips with my own collegiate career but seeing that not everyone had an ideal experience helps me to understand that I am not alone

[@milikoshki]

Thanks for sharing! I am glad you got yourself out of that situation. you're such a sunny person and it sounds like they were (maybe inadvertently, but still) trying to put out your light. Not ok!

[@eclectictraveller]

Thank you for your openness and honesty. I'm very impressed that you can reflect on your experience so calmly and dispassionately and take positives from a challenging time. Having the RIGHT people around you is so important. Best wishes for the future.

[@DeeJay_78]

Thanks for some more great content Philly. That coach!! Just too mean! You seem to be in a great place now and doing well - great stuff. RESPECT!

[@user-fc6yw4jc8d]

Thanks for sharing your story.

[@avinashbhogun]

This is such a tremendous story and insight into the world of what a professional persons looks like. When you break it down it’s tough but you experience it and made tough decisions and came back. Such a difficult situation and trust that change is good.

[@jdoveyk9422]

Phily I think this video was the first one that introduced me to your channel. I’ve been subscribed since. You are an inspiration. After just watching the Copenhagen and the 10,000 PB’s videos in the past couple weeks I can truly say that you have revealed something very important to us. You have shown us what it looks like to succeed living with joy and passion for doing what you love. It makes us unstoppable! As horrible as I think the coach at Oregon was, literally sucking the life out of running and her team, you survived it. A difficult but valuable lesson in the journey. There’s a small piece of me that hopes that coach watches your channel and can see what potential she wasted maybe ignored is a better word. Living well is the best revenge 🎉🎉🎉

[@RiordanJohn]

Thank you so much for your uplifting honesty.

[@LuffLab]

I really appreciate you telling the story.

[@Erin-rg3dw]

Competing for the NCAA in college (swimming) really turned me off from college sports because I saw how messed up the system is. My coach was great, but I hate the NCAA. My roommate and a few friends ran XC and we'd hear stories about how the coach pushed unhealthy eating habits, would punish people for eating "bad' foods, and would badmouth athletes who left to pursue other things. The system will take care of its favorites, but its ultimately about money for the school and NCAA rather than encouraging athletes.

[@chrisprince3215]

You are very brave to share such a story and inspire others who struggle with an ED. It’s never a straight path of recovery and each step you take forwards helps you build mentally and be stronger! It’s great that you appear to be using running to stay mentally strong and motivate you and others! ❤

[@fintanmcgee4903]

Your story is very interesting and you tell it very well. It's impressive to see how you endured everything, it couldn't have been easy. Mentally you must have been exhausted. For what it's worth, people you don't know are behind you and enjoy seeing you happy. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, you're doing great!

[@pinokions6375]

Being so humble and honest. Love the fact that you are giving out so much positive energy even throughout such a hard topic and i have to say a big THANK YOU for that! I hope you know how much all this means to us "ordinary people"(non pro runners). You and your videos literally helped me push through some dark moments in my life. Running the half marathon next week and i am giving you all the credits! I am shure i am just one of many that keeps loving the grind BECAUSE OF YOU!

[@silvermandavid]

Thank you for sharing your story so clearly and honestly. I'm so glad you took from the experience the things that have made you who you are and have made you better. You've healed, become stronger and more whole. I can't say I'm not a bit angry at parts of this story because suffice to say, you were not set up to succeed and people who should have been kinder and cared for you as a person failed to do that simple and vitally important thing. They should have done better. I'm happy that you have come through this and you have people who care for and love you. Go Phily!

[@sarahhokanson5391]

Thank you, thank you for sharing, Philly!!!

[@lesnamingha6170]

Thank you for this video and the impactful story that you have shared. I'm grateful that your love for running returned after overcoming this difficult challenge in your life. I'm sending hugs and fist bumps across the pond to you and your family; I know I can't fully relate to all the sacrifices that you and your loved ones made during your US collegiate career, but thank you for being an example of strength, hope, and tenacity. Well done!!! And hope you can hear all of us, the subscriber mob, cheering you on during your workouts! Peace to you and all the best!! ❤👊👍

[@christinaclementson]

It’s so sad hearing your story. This should have been a really exciting experience for you. Glad you made good friends. That coach…..I have no words. Onwards to a bigger and brighter future Phily! Xxx

[@elliottchard]

You're so strong Phily and I'm so glad you were able to bounce back from such a negative experience being failed by others and re-find your love for the sport.

[@tracywatson3122]

Thank your for sharing your story, its good for young athletes to hear the other side of an NCAA scholarship. Coming home early was the best thing you did for your health and career. Best of luck for the marathon.

[@ValerieCummisford-cw9wj]

You are so strong! Thank you for sharing.

[@robwilliams9965]

Thanks Phily, really honest and brave. You're awesome, I hope you succeed with all your goals; you deserve it 👍

[@haggisxyzzy]

You are amazing Philly. You have the strength to show a big something that didn't work out for you and prove that it hasn't stopped you. It has propelled you forward, ensuring youdon't make the same mistake again. Keep up the good work, be happy in where life and running takes you.

[@hamba1998]

Phily, thank you so much for this video!! I remember in one of your very early videos (a windy Q&A perhaps?) you mentioned some negativity about the NCAA process, and I've always wondered since what happened. Your honesty and openness is very refreshing - you must be so proud of how far your running has come since those days!

[@kofuzi]

Thank you for sharing

[@Kay-tz2fh]

GIRL. Started running in the NCAA 2018 fall season, and I resonate with your story / timeline so hard.

[@iberiksoderblom]

Wauw, Phily...! Quite a story and struggle. Its important you tell about this to everyone, so thanks for doing it. I'm a coach and have a very different approach to coaching. Trust, honesty and positivity is key towards the people I train. I have almost 40 years of experience and 20 of those with elite. If I meet you in Copenhagen, you'll get a hug and a cheer 🙂

[@rahulbarca4112]

It takes lot of courage to make this kind of video. Kudos and more strength to you Phily. 🔥💪🏾

[@trueredred859]

Brilliant,well done Jen

[@Camila-oi1gw]

Thanks for sharing your story, im a freshman in highschool and this was very insightful and inspiring. Glad to hear your doing better now keep up the great work

[@teetertotter5787]

Deciding to leave that environment is such a strong thing to do. I don't know how you got through talking about this without crying your eyes out! I wish you had a better coach during that time, someone who knew how to support you in the ways you needed it. The psychological impact is huge. At the end of the day, so proud of you for prevailing.

[@norasverredal1941]

Thank you for telling this story!! ♥

[@slab523]

As a volunteer coach for a women's program and having dealt with disorder eating and body dysmorphia myself, it truly saddens me to hear what you went through at Oregon. I hope you have a fruitful and healthy career!

[@kat_pt_coaching]

Thanks for sharing this x

[@user-tp5do5tp5j]

wow this was incredibly honest and powerful thank you for sharing

[@Lala-bobloblaw]

I chose a lesser known D1 school with a coach who was from my country and explained the process of eligibility. There was never any body shaming and mental health was most important.

[@rubarb1275]

Thank you for sharing your story. The biggest positive I think you can take is that you recognised that the environment you were in was not right and that it needed to change. That must have been really difficult, and you should be proud that you made the right decision for you. Keep moving forward, and keep doing what you are doing. 😀👍

[@dienowska]

Godspeed, Phily!

[@BeckyBeckyE]

Thank you for sharing your experience ❤

[@mrjonnylowes]

Well done Phily - through adversity. These things are sent to test us, it’s not nice at the time, but you’ve taken the positives and lessons from it, and this will ultimately make you stronger. Super thanks for sharing this part of your story, truly inspiring.

[@billylee5335]

Love You Philly!! Your testimony was not in vain you will be a great coach and mentor one day for young runners

[@Ozzy1984_]

Beautiful video. To provide such a deep and personal insight, is something special. Thank you for doing this.

[@neilgrangermagic]

You are super inspiring 🤩Thanks so much for sharing your story and for being so honest, particularly in relation to your eating disorder. I'm really excited to see where this next chapter leads. Keeping going, Philly 👍👍🏃‍♀️

[@kathleenulrich4536]

Thank you for sharing your story with such eloquence and honesty. It is so disheartening to hear how coaches who should be uplifting and inspiring athletes tear them down in so many ways. Young athletes and their parents need to not be swayed by all the bells, whistles and fancy packaging of theses universities. It's not worth risking your health. Bravo to you, Phily, for putting your health and happiness as your priority. Best of luck.

[@BassStevie]

Thank you for being so honest and authentic. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, or you need bad moments to appreciate the good - but agree that you can learn something from every experience. Lessons can always be learnt. But in my opinion, bad things don’t have to happen. Bad experiences aren’t a necessity.

[@jllee9189]

Your intro statement was worded as a true winner! You will do very well in life with your attitude.

[@michaelwalker1104]

Brilliant post, thanks for sharing your experience. I really enjoy watching your channel so keep up the great work and best of luck for the future no matter what happens.

[@matthewlees3485]

Top draw video this one, feel like there's so many of the nuggets of wisdom that you've said that resonates/I can relate to very well. Really found the last few years that the mental game of sport is just as big a part of it as the physical game,and having a coach that actually gets you and what you're going through is such an important part of that. Thanks for sharing this video, I'm sure it's one I'll rewatch again in the future when looking for some motivation to keep at the grind.

[@Xadnerzimmerman]

This video is super helpful to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for a rough season, I’ve been struggling with my relationship with my coaches, but knowing that it can get better is so so helpful

[@ryanwillmott16]

What a banging video! Well done for telling your story! Keep smiling and go smash it!

[@alanramos4431]

Thx for sharing! I’m definitely a new fan woo! I’ll be rooting for you!

[@user-ex6co3ou1e]

Yes for my senior year of high school i was a long distance runner even when i was kept getting injured the coaches made me run more and run more i was so mentally exhausted from running that i end up quitting in not coming to practice which effected my future running in college

[@trofee8]

Thnx for sharing your story Philly, very inspirational. I reconize a lot of what you say, since I train on my own and do the things that I feel work for me through experience and experimenting, my running has improved so much. Good luck to you and remember that enjoying the process even when you have a bad race or period will al be worth it when things come together😄

[@juliaayers111]

Amazing Phily! You're such a delight to watch:) Been really falling in love with trail running over the last 6 months or so and your videos always give me a spark of inspiration! Much love to you😇

[@marinrodriguez7729]

Bravo to you for being willing to tell your story. It took courage. Bien hecho!

[@melissaberry1338]

I never stop being proud of you Phily. The best comeback story ❤

[@Scott-fi6ml]

Amen Melissa you put it into the correct words.

[@classicclassi6146]

Thank you for sharing!

[@MyfanwyCollins]

Thank you for sharing your story. It made me cry. For your coaches to tell you that you were too happy to be there is just bizarre. What I take away from this story is how you really did advocate for yourself quite well but unfortunately you were dealing with a system that seems to put winning over a sense of humanity. I'm glad you went home to heal. That was so wise!

[@wilsonruns3381]

❤❤❤ Respect to you Phily for speaking out

[@froch0024]

love the transparency