Please don't ever try these self defense tips

These are the ACTUAL worst self defense videos of all time
My COFFEE ☕: topofthemornincoffee.com/
Edited By: / tr8ss

[@timeless2010]

Jack calling headphones "listening goggles" is the most accurate description of headphones I've ever heard

[@nezneznezz]

I will use this from now on.

[@elisavetk2591]

And earphones are listening contact lenses

[@julianhernandez3947]

*ever seen

[@timeless2010]

@@julianhernandez3947 he said it so I heard it; if he would have shown it or posted it, I would have seen it, right?

[@timeless2010]

@@nezneznezz Same!

[@aidantravis8571]

I love how Jacks background is slowly getting more decorative. He’s finally at home boys

[@theoguncleslappy9150]

Nice to see

[@itz_kyla_b654]

I love the neon sign hes got

[@gooeyboy706]

Where is Home Boys?

[@dreydoesart]

@@gooeyboy706 it's like Home Depot but for kids

[@darknexxenby]

and whats funny is the tommyinnit video showed the rest of his house is pretty much empty lol

[@briandaaranda9735]

At a legit self-defense class I took, they told us that the correct answer to "give me your phone/wallet/backpack/whatever", is "here you go, don't hurt me, please". Especially if they pull a weapon on you. Don't risk your health, safety and life over material objects. The time you DO have to fight back is when they try to get you to a secondary location, like into a car or something. If you fight back, you have a 50-50% chance of living and getting away, especially if you make enough noise to alert other people because the attackers will likely leave you alone for fear of being caught or identified. If you don't fight back, you have a 2% chance of ever being seen again.

[@PumpyGT]

Guess I'll die

[@gmork1090]

All of this.

[@GHutchOrgan]

That secondary location part reminds me of John Mulaney's bit about the Detective that visited his school to warn the kids about the dangers of the streets.

[@kiralonely1307]

@@GHutchOrgan John Mulaney has taught me never to go to a secondary location, and to punch out the taillights of cars when in the trunk to wave hi.

[@GHutchOrgan]

And always carry a money clip with $50 in it

[@lucybeattie9382]

I absolutely adore the attackers actor- he knows its bad, and he makes it camp and I LOVE IT

[@peregrine5327]

I can just hear him snapping his fingers and muttering "nyeeeeeh, seeeeee?" as he stalks through the alleys of New York.

[@Buphido]

Disclaimer: don’t attack a person that has a weapon. Give them your money, then call the police. If you are not properly educated in defending yourself, any attempt may just get you brutalized.

[@annunakim525]

you got a fake mrbeast liking your comment so i felt bad. and yes, if you get robbed, just comply. getting brutalized is def on the table if you dont.

[@kharnthebetrayer8251]

Agreed. its very easy to fuck it up. You can replace whatever was in your wallet and get new a phone. You can't replace your life

[@justafan4885]

Throwing your stuff the opposite way and running away is also a good idea if they really only want your stuff, otherwise whoops you ded

[@Miipmiip]

Yeah even the guy from detroit threat management (dale) says the things he advices are hard and you shouldn’t do it if you aren’t trained Edit: spelling error

[@sionnachtine3659]

@@justafan4885 you gotta use the Bittenbinder method. now you've thrown him off his rhythm

[@TheDeputy173]

Jack: "Another day has come and passed, you know what that means." Me: "MEME TIME!" Jack:"Endless suffering" Me:"oh"

[@plamenpetkov7046]

That's been going for quite a while now tho

[@syadammaulana8571]

Same, I was here thinking I'd answer that too, Apparently I was wrong, but I don't regret it, the final answer remains the same * Hit the white board * LAUGH!!!!

[@michaelsnyman2800]

@ɪ ᴀᴍ ɪɴꜱᴛᴀɢʀᴀᴍʙʙ x2 so your a real person, not a bot. That makes you doing this so much more sad

[@piotraas7919]

@Kavetion no

[@piotraas7919]

@YeaMan no

[@jayyallmon5485]

"Now you've thrown him off his rhythm" made me think about John Mulaney's Street Smarts bit!

[@tweaksauce7349]

After all these goofy "self defense" moves, it was pretty satisfying to see the girl almost genuinely elbow tf outta dudes jaw at 9:45 😂

[@RitsuExistsToo]

i like how they say "Dealing with these cuffs took ALL my energy" then 10 seconds later "it appears the cuffs weren't tight at all!"

[@christophershore8481]

Literally the funniest part of it all😂😂😂

[@peekster0]

TeChNiqUE!

[@devenmaldonado8362]

@@danielfoodistman6012 cool story bro but sadly I didn’t ask

[@ezrahcowans4315]

Those videos had the energy and comedy of a mobile game ad.

[@Scar_.]

@@danielfoodistman6012 but answer this... when the hell did i ask?

[@shinesnakeeold7447]

Calling headphones “listening goggles” is the most Jackcepticeye thing ever

[@wossle73]

I, LMFAO, at that to👍

[@WolfRites]

And I will be calling them that from now on.

[@preyscalling]

I want the original clip

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@nintendolegend5344]

We need this series back 😢😭

[@Georgie42069]

The second defence move about the catch the leg and kick the back of the knee is actually correct though (if trained and executed properly). It’s something taught in basic martial arts. Obviously they’ve comedic bullshitted it and definitely don’t suggest random people try it for real without proper practice, but it is actually correct in what they said 🤣

[@graysongrahamcracker8573]

As a martial arts teacher, I can confirm that he is going to have trouble with his back or something

[@asteranightshade2981]

As that guy, I can confirm I'm having trouble with my back or something

[@pouyapourmehran9770]

as that guys back, i can confirm im having trouble or something

[@abigail_brianna7613]

As that guy's spine, I can confirm i am trouble or something

[@Ehh0.0]

As a person who does karate (and is almost black belt) and lives in South Africa. I can confirm that the attacker was trying less that the victim.

[@giraffewhiskers2045]

I’m not a man so I can’t speak

[@Pickles047]

The budget still can’t allow Sean to buy new markers to write “LAUGH”

[@ChlorideCull]

LA GH

[@TimerGameroryxGaming]

@Kavetion in your dreams!

[@TimerGameroryxGaming]

@Rumblingstation 🅥 NO IT'S NOT, SHUT UP!!!!!!!!

[@karlhnedkovsky5214]

@@TimerGameroryxGaming Bro that's a bot

[@anakinlowground5515]

@@TimerGameroryxGaming Yeah dude, chill. Just report them and be on with your day

[@Aa-df5vk]

I have watched this series multiple times. This is the series I go to when I’m sad. Even when I stopped watching Jacksepticeye a while ago, his videos, especially these ones make me happy, they’ve gotten me through a lot. His old Schmoyoho songs have too. (I’m sorry if I spelled their channel name wrong) I doubt he’d ever see this, but he brings a lot of light to what can be a very dark world. It’s just something about his videos that makes me laugh no matter what.

[@bokua5684]

Jack: "ONE THING THAT CAN MAKE IT ALL BETTER, WHAT IS THAT THING???" Me: "TOP OF THE MORNING COF--" Jack: "THATS RIGHT, JACKSEPTICEYES FUNNIEST HOME VIDEOS!!"

[@PumpyGT]

Your disappointment is immeasurable and your day is ruined

[@mikkitoro8933]

"He dropped his gun, woops" "Luckily the cuffs weren't tight at all" They think criminals are complete idiots. I mean many shoplifters are, but if they manage to kidnap you they aren't.

[@theoguncleslappy9150]

He dropped the gun I'm Legit Done, Lol

[@azfarhafiy939]

@Kavetion oh no not you

[@rainbowzgrqce]

whoops, he dropped his gun and didn’t even hear it hit the floor 💀

[@QuokkaWaka]

@@rainbowzgrqce I guess that background music he was blasting and the sound of his voiceover girl drowned it out

[@diraltmcallister3523]

Not to mention kidnapping is frequently connected to human trafficking, so chances are they're going to have an entire group of people. Probably going to use guile or drugs to accomplish things.

[@sirpotatolord2219]

other great self defence techniques include saying "swiper no swiping" or locking your opponent into a game of paddycake.

[@lhc4770]

another great technique is to jiggle your key chain to distract the opponent's 2 second attention span with shiny objects

[@salmonbomber7819]

another great technique look at the bird now run away as he is befouled by the bird

[@sleepydevilz]

@@salmonbomber7819 be”fowl”ed 👀

[@trealexander5271]

He can't take anything from you until you have a pokemon battle first 🙄

[@Al_Marie]

Have a DU-DU-DU-DU-DUEL with him

[@CaelumTheWolf]

Bring this lovely gift to the world back!

[@limabeans9699]

I just wanted to say that seeing you evolve overtime has given me the confidence to be comfortable with changing. I’ve been watching you for around 7 years now and you’re definitely changed since then. The comfort your videos gave me then is still here, but the evolution is so apparent and inspiring. I don’t know if I’m articulating this proper, but thank you for showing that changing is ok, and I’m so happy I stumbled upon your channel when I did. Wish you nothing but the best lad!!!

[@authorlacey]

"I'm 32 years old. I'm 32 years old, life is precious." -Jacksepticeye 2022 What a mantra XD

[@subtlegong2817]

I’m almost 40 years old and my life has moderate value

[@SorowFame]

@Rumblingstation 🅥 I fucking doubt it

[@esined2386]

When going into the tunnel (of stupidity, in this case) you must carry your reminder with you or you may not come out the same...

[@directorjake]

I love how they try to sell the video as actual self-defense and then the voiceover is just like "he's gonna have trouble with his back or something! 🤪"

[@Shrando]

@YeaMan who’s Paige?

[@SaintShion]

Tr00mTr00m is so quirky not like the other channels

[@Mr.Cupcake]

@@Shrando just don't engage with these channels

[@TDA792]

It's very obviously a satirical video my dude

[@stonedsimpson3147]

i love how at 10:25 jack is talking ab pissing in public and you can see they guys FULL rod

[@tortillachips3911]

"That'll throw him off his rhythm" yeah that's a quote from a comedy sketch so I'm pretty sure they're self-aware

[@beaux_boba]

STREET SMARTS

[@gabbyclower5590]

Once the video borrowed from a John Mulaney sketch, I knew there was no hope of seriousness. All that this needs is the tab of alkaseltzer to make the attacker think the girl has rabies. That - FOR SURE - will throw him off his rhythm.

[@jademelito1699]

where is detective JJ Bittenbinder when you need him

[@oliverlockhart807]

Self Defense Video: “Hit him on the ears!” RDJ: “Discombobulate.”

[@TekieScythe]

I was looking for this comment!

[@killdolores]

Went ahead to look for someone's comment on this. Success

[@Ezrenthewizard]

Discombobulated is a really fun word to try and use in everyday conversation and then you get confused looks on what it means

[@aaflame]

Yea

[@spilledcoffee383]

Block the blind jab, discombobulate

[@Days-ru8jh]

The peekaboo actually worked, a guy came at me with a bazooka and I did peekaboo and he missed and ran away after saying “where did he go”

[@Cygnusart0843]

“When you put it together.. what’d you get?” A stupid ad 😂😂

[@bobbobby715]

The 1st move with the chair is literally what we learned in college self defense class, you take the nearest hefty object and full on pitch it at the offender's head.

[@Deadpool4president]

Yeah. About 3 of them were actual self defense moves.

[@Miipmiip]

Lmao I love that

[@prabha11miranda]

really???

[@alesbianhotmess]

@@prabha11miranda i mean it's effective.

[@wxlfie2]

Who tf can lift a bench when most benches are either heavy af or nailed to the ground💀 you're better off throwing your phone

[@Adders-bm5cs]

That sketchy guy jazzin his way over to start some shit in the art gallery is a vibe 🤣🤣

[@marvertjaysonneyra457]

He really felt the jazz on that one

[@SurotaOnishi]

He's seen too many greaser movies

[@bZman]

That dude was just like "todays my day, I am gonna ask that chick out at the art gallery, im feeling good, and then BAM!"

[@LorEclipse]

Bring back the series, Jack. It's been 3 months. I crave the laughter!

[@-Jeo16805-]

The guy in the Parking lot scene looked so much like MatPat it was hilarious

[@bonnecherie]

Ironically, the crazy part actually does work. Most people that see someone muttering to themselves, arguing with themselves, or generally acting crazy tend to avoid them. It actually saved my mom once when she did that.

[@funluke1368]

well it’d save me because i do that all the time, and i mean i literally talk to myself all the time

[@depressantdrug]

Yeah, in general, but not the specific situation they presented. If the "victim" was already acting unusual, they wouldn't have been targeted in the first place.

[@briandaaranda9735]

When I was a kid, my mom instructed me to pull a full-blown tantrum. I'm talking drop to the ground, kick and flail your arms, scream "I don't wanna go!" at the top of your lungs. If you can make yourself pee your pants, even better. Be gross. Be loud.

[@meaganthemarionette4899]

@@funluke1368 bro SAME! I think out loud nearly ALL THE TIME

[@GiMmEhUgZz]

i was looking for this comment!! it's the one legit piece of advice in this video lol.

[@jamtoast9401]

"Jacksepticeye and Jacksepticeye funniest home videos are not affiliated with any of Jacksepticeye's thoughts and anything that he says can be discredited immediately and don't quote him on that"- Jacksepticeye 2022

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@freeziac]

Discredited counted.

[@billboo7557]

READ MY NAME

[@DarkwingDash]

What have you done

[@DrunkRussianVR]

That “LAUGH!” Was so inspiring 😊😊

[@emilyplace7577]

I love the top of the morning intros and your videos in general

[@violinsunrise2699]

Ok, but the "throw them off their rhythm" part is actually good advice One time a guy tried robbing me and me on my stupid mind said "Not now thanks" and he just stood there wondering how to answer as I walked into a crowd.

[@user-lc5hr2pe1b]

How was someone trying to rob you if there was a crowd that close?

[@gracieduffy122]

Not now, come back tomorrow. lmaO

[@notmarypoppins]

Apparently that happened at a bank once. The teller refused to take a note that the would-be robber passed them, just saw the logo for a competing bank on the paper and said "sorry, you'll have to go to [the other bank] for that." The guy left, apparently very annoyed, and about fifteen minutes later they got contacted by the police saying [the other bank] had just been robbed. XD

[@erikperhs_]

My friend is in the autism spectrum and he said this actually happens to them sometimes. He said he sometimes has difficulty in seeing the bigger picture, so one day someone tried to rob him and he just looked at the guy and kept walking.

[@S_O_U_P]

no its not

[@CGiles]

"that'll throw him off his rhythm!!" STREET SMARTS

[@madisonlawson8929]

THANK YOU i thought i was the only one who thought that

[@humanintelegence4695]

"I used the Bittenbinder method"

[@KateCantDraw]

"You want it? GO GET IT!"

[@maggiepeters3824]

"you want my wallet? go get it! STREET SMARTS!"

[@MarvelousMack]

Okay, I'll be completely fair here: as someone who has a lot of training in martial arts and self-defense, most of these are completely stupid and will definitely get you killed. Some of them, though, are actually legit. The first kick one is some variation of an actual karate takedown I used all the time, it's just executed poorly (she catches his leg after it already hits her and then kicks his other leg, which could leave him chance to recover). The knife one actually wasn't TOO awful either, it was just really bad execution again (arm locks on an opponent with a knife can work, but it would probably be best to break their arm instead of lightly tapping them into a wall.) The biggest issue I see with most of these self-defense videos is that people seem to either think they just have to watch the video, learn the technique, and it's foolproof, or they think the videos are completely ridiculous and discount them. In reality, if you're in a situation where your life is in actual danger (not just a mugging, in which case you should just give them whatever they want), some of these techniques could save your life, or at least give you a fighting chance. The problem is that, in those situations, your brain shuts down and won't remember to catch the leg with both hands and punch the inside of the thigh; you start running on instinct and muscle memory. If you haven't trained with these self-defense techniques to the point where you don't have to think about them, they're not going to help you at all. For any of the techniques to be useful EVER, you have to practice and train with them regularly, or else you'd just be better off buying a taser or some pepper spray instead.

[@timgrover947]

Oh. For the first, I didn't realize that it was a karate techinque. I suppose a lot of the martial arts have smiliarites as I have seen the techinque done in muay thai videos. Where you block the leg and sweep the foot. I have never done the techinque and don't know the specifics of it though. Just seen it done in muay thai. The knife ones really suck as the attacker was holding in a ice pick grip I think and then the other was a stab. Which would not happen in a real situation. I have never been attacked, but I assume the person would hide the knife then, immediately, pull you into them with multiple stabs. I wasn't that sure of the lock though. I think it was a hammer type lock. The girl had no control over the attacker which would make it a lot easier to get out of it. The best probable situation would be applying an armbar, or shoulder lock on the ground using all your limbs to control an attacker. Of course, at that point you instead would probably want to apply a choke instead. Because, ohh no you broke their arm, but they can still attack you. Some of these troops defense tactics do have some merit. Like the one where she clambered onto his back. While you would not be able to do that standing for obvious reasons. In jiu jitsu, that's kind of like a back take. Which then a rear-naked Choke could be applied. Of course, ground fighting has a ton of problems too. For example, if there are helpers of the attacker. You will get your head stomped in. This is all assuming that you even have chance to fight back. The best things to do is walk with someone late at night. Don't use headphones at night. Try to stay in public areas. Use situational awareness. Trust your gut. Completely agree with your end point. KZbin has its disadvantages and advantages. Some people believe that they can just watch the videos then pull off the techinques, but without any pressure testing. Most likely, none of it will work in an actual situation. But used for situational awareness tips that could help immensely. Like for example, hard to hurt I think has a lot of good solid self defense tips. Like figuring out if you've landed in a dangerous and how to peacefully exit the scenario. I think this rant has gone on longer than it needed too. But I just like chatting about martial arts, etc. My question is how long have you trained karate and have you ever had thought about trying any other martial arts. I personally would consider trying a new martial art if you've done karate awhile. I did karate for 10 years, but I have recently started doing jiu jitsu. It has made me grow so much. You could even just do free trials in your area. Just a thought from one martial artist to another.

[@timgrover947]

Ohh. Never mind. You have implied you've done other martial arts too. Sorry I got confused. I am wondering what martial arts you have done?

[@timgrover947]

Oh another thing. I am typing on phone so my grammar is pretty shitty. Sorry.

[@RealKellinQuinn]

“That’ll throw him off his rhythm” STREET SMARTS!

[@timpappot9873]

"that'll throw him off his rythm" is one of the best John Mulany jokes and this reminded me of that. Just ripped him off

[@marquis911]

STREET SMARTS!

[@audreyleach8434]

I was thinking the exact same thing

[@sam_tbh]

WHAT WAS THE DETECTIVES NAME OMG

[@AbLaV]

@@sam_tbh JJ BITTENBINDER

[@sam_tbh]

@@AbLaV OMFG THANK U

[@Nitrinoxus]

Sean: "This girl's having the _worst_ day of her _life."_ Me: "That guy in the cap who keeps getting his ass handed to him _might_ be having a _worse_ one."

[@bioniccavewoman2.31million]

Well he deserves it though….

[@cassandracarlton400]

Nah ‘cause he keeps choosing to do it

[@Nitrinoxus]

@@bioniccavewoman2.31million _That_ goes without saying.

[@Nitrinoxus]

@@cassandracarlton400 How does _choosing_ to have your ass kicked make the end result less _worse,_ though?

[@ParkityParkPark]

correction, the guy in the cap who keeps getting confused by girls biting his hat and slowly climbing on top of him when he tries to attack them

[@purplemageddom]

Jack: "when you put them together, you get-" Ads: "do you think your opinions matter?"

[@kirepaha5781]

Oh my God, the intro, the white board, Sean's enthusiastic energy... And even first clip that already crack me - this video makes me happy!

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@mrglados1556]

kirepaha Everyone liked that

[@BritzStrudel_YT]

@Kavetion L

[@xdyaboy7950]

@Kavetion l

[@ComatoseCutiee]

I laughed so incredibly hard when Jack said “OH IM ABOUT TO HAVE CONNIPTIONS” LMAOOOOOOOO

[@yoshidollface]

SAMEEEE

[@cigeater5740]

gives me conniptions

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@Cygnusart0843]

7:30 there’s literally people in the background and one stopped and looked at what was happening 😂😂 Also 7:41 “that’ll throw him off his rhythm.” -J.J Bittenbinder and John Mulaney.

[@Numenex]

“Put them together, what do you get?” An ad, apparently.

[@minitech5238]

Jesus this was so funny, we need more of this, "He dropped the gun!, he is so clumsy" then "turns out the cuffs aren't tight at all", bruh, at this point what are you even escaping from, you could just kidnap that dude yourself, it even looks like he just forcefully invited you to his house

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@gimmedatjelly]

Basically the equivalent of him going "Hey there pretty lady, you look like you know interior decorating, I NEED you to look at my floor plan or else I'll stop giving you free rides in the trunk of my car."

[@PanzerSoul]

Can confirm. Hitting someone with a bench is an effective strategy.

[@christianparrish6647]

Unless you're super strong to pick up a bench, I wouldn't consider it.

[@kylie7780]

Just hope said bench isn't attached to the floor in some way, or is light enough to lift.

[@christianparrish6647]

@@kylie7780 oh yeah, I forgot that certain benches are bolted to the floor or ground.

[@kumabear6495]

Gets attacked in park. "Hey wait! I need to unscrew this bench out the ground!"

[@kylie7780]

@@kumabear6495 "Oh shoot it needs a power drill. I'll be right back, just hang on."

[@Pupptart69lolz]

sean just resinging the laugh song is like seeing your favorite show get an awful reboot, but all do respect I love Jack's funniest home videos

[@Convoy2005SPIH]

Why does every jacksepticeye’s funniest home video have to be a year apart 😢😁

[@Mrman-wp2bi]

That's not the real jack, it's an imposter The REAL jack would've absolutely SLAPPED THE SHIT out of that board

[@ChocolatePie-by1ot]

When the imposter is sus

[@henryaskew-newman71]

Intro whiteboard 😴 Outro whiteboard 🤩

[@stephitzu380]

Just like Will Smith at the Oscars

[@fatbgmanbg975]

@@stephitzu380👍 😎 🙌

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@DannyplrRyan]

The ears thing actually does work, (climbing on the guy in slow motion doesn't). It can leave them disoriented and if done hard enough could rupture the ear drums. You essentially give the guy an instant case of vertigo.

[@Alsarnia]

Discombobulate

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@gamingderpies]

@AeonReign AGREED!

[@jessezslayers]

@@Alsarnia I was hoping to see some *DISCOMBOBULATE*

[@timternet1653]

I feel like I haven't had a good LAUGH in oh... idk, about a year?

[@kariannek7326]

I audibly gasped at 7:41 STREET SMARTS, STAY ALERT OUT THERE!

[@Pugnt]

Jacks intros have been varied lately so it's always a pleasant surprise

[@NotMortem890]

@YeaMan bruh

[@kickmasterbengarton7577]

F🤬CK OFF BOTS!!!

[@LjKinG420]

@@kickmasterbengarton7577 yo calm down

[@theoguncleslappy9150]

@@LjKinG420 *kinda hard when you see them on like, every comment*

[@LjKinG420]

@@theoguncleslappy9150 by the way it's so easy for everybody to get 1K likes I never got 1K like before

[@Adders-bm5cs]

I spat my coffee at the end when he started his little pep talk 🤣 "I'm gunna woosah my way outta here" 😂

[@SaintShion]

It's sucks it was so good cause Tr00mTr00m LOVES to claim videos so I know they'll be taking their money from this

[@Adders-bm5cs]

@@SaintShion aww oh no :c I hope they don't mess with this video. It was so good 😂

[@Ace_164]

Was it top of the morning coffee?

[@Adders-bm5cs]

@@Ace_164 I wish! Once I get my next job I'm gunna start buying his coffee. I love a good dark roast.

[@Darklordlel]

I hope that wasn't too of the morning coffee cuz that's a waste

[@eldaroses.g.r.7945]

Hey, the “take his hat” one my first thought was that she was gonna turn around and lick his eyeball. 🤣

[@goblintacos88]

Funniest Video I've Watched In A Long Time! Great Job Sean!

[@lionwilliams5390]

Jack: Did these videos just become self aware? Leather Guy: I don't know Jack, did we...

[@lukar.3992]

@YeaMan good luck getting people to look at your 'paige'

[@dalob112]

@@lukar.3992 Just report them, they are bots

[@lukar.3992]

@@dalob112 I'm guessing it's the same for the guy above you?

[@dalob112]

@@lukar.3992 yap, either that or an account trying to farm for subs to be sold OR even more maliciously, there was/is something that can compromise an account if you only subzo it/interact with it, i think the channel SomeOrdinaryGamers did a breakdown of the Last option

[@jessehines1105]

@Rumblingstation 🅥 POV: You’re wrong and annoying and no one is watching your content so you try and fail to beg for subs.

[@nvgchi-townkid6497]

Strangely enough, the one “good” move I saw was when she caught the roundhouse and “sweeped” the leg. It’s pretty common in martial arts (to my knowledge). This one was just executed horrendously lol

[@trevorm0329]

That and the ear box, if executed correctly, boxing the ears can fuck somebody up

[@boredniko2406]

to be fair, the ear clap would be halfway decent if it wasn't for the entire unnecessary "mount the attacker" BS and it wasnt the "guy with a knife" scenario

[@kori612]

the issue with alot of these is it assumes the average person is physically strong enough to do so, or that someone with a genuine want to attack you would fuving spin kick

[@faithoramma4531]

it's also really common in wrestling, done slightly differently, but would only be effective if you're similar in weight to the other person, strong enough, and do it fast enough

[@Barry.B.Benson]

@@trevorm0329 discombobulated

[@unscspartan93]

I missed this. Thank you Sean 😊

[@WateryAbyss7000]

As someone who does self defense, I can say that although some of these work if you know what you’re doing, I cannot in good conscience recommend using these to anybody who doesn’t know what they are doing.

[@tonysonic456]

Jack just gave up at the end. He was just like "I am DONE with your bullshit!", and it was funny as heck.

[@FanFictionneer]

We know. We saw the video...

[@tonysonic456]

@@FanFictionneer I'm just laughing at my favorite part.

[@FanFictionneer]

@@tonysonic456 The wording just made it seem like you were informing people of what happened.

[@Raizo_B.]

"He's gonna have trouble with his back *or something"* I like how she says "or something" in the most robot-like dead-inside voice.

[@spark_two]

That whole part had me rolling

[@DanielSMV805]

"Visiting an art gallery was a great idea! But you might have some unpleasant encounters even in this safe space" *Tommy Shelby in skinny jeans walks in*

[@disenchantedkai9254]

Gosh diddily darn it I really needed a nice video today thank you

[@carbonatedcosmo7665]

the voiceover going "that'll throw him off his rhythm" after she ripped off the guy's hat and pretended to be crazy made me think of john mulaney's street smarts bit 😂😂😂

[@silverblade9915]

I thought it sounded familiar. It seems the narrator was a student of the detective

[@dootzoot528]

Okay but legitimately that "self-defence" video is actually dangerous. Don't try to recreate what they do in these videos, it will not work and you will get hurt. It is not that easy. Seek professional Martial Arts Training and if someone is armed do what they say, never attempt to disarm them like you're in a movie.

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@angeluslistrell9378]

You do know that the vid he is showing is a joke? Problem is that Sean himself just dont get it

[@anakinlowground5515]

@@angeluslistrell9378 They should clarify it, because as it is right now, it could get some people killed. though, it could be debated if they would've just gotten what was coming to them, because you know, they were stupud enough to follow what they saw in the video.

[@angeluslistrell9378]

@@anakinlowground5515 Natural selection

[@bradymccarty3792]

The one where you push the elbow the wrong way is a move we do in jiu jitsu and will work if done right. As for the rest I can say the same. Great video jack much love!

[@b_man-25]

6:29 "I'll try spinning, that's a good trick!" - Troom Troom girl

[@Dan-B]

Jack has evolved from a mic stand to a hand held, I can only expect him to reach his final form and go full Britney mic.

[@jazzloveslatte318]

That mic is killing me.

[@victini1martini971]

@@jazzloveslatte318 rip to you then

[@Sly-Moose]

Jack: It's Britney, bish ✨

[@wakadusa8649]

The progression of laughter to anger in this is perfect

[@n3rdspeed788]

1:35 "Let me put on my listening goggles for a second here" XD

[@jaydenslywolf2912]

I just realised there are people in the background at 7:23

[@colekiesler6218]

Jack: “Please don’t do this.” Also Jack: Watches through the whole thing.

[@uniixxofficial]

11:26, this move is an actual Karate move that would leave the attacker in immense pain when performed; it would cause intense pressure in the ear canals and ear drums that would cause their ear drums to buckle due to the ear drum being not meant for such pressure.

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@nicholasnadeau2053]

i mean getting your ears clapped sucks but immense pain is kind of an exaggeration, also people have been clapping each other's ears far longer than karate has existed

[@Adreitz7]

Discombobulate.

[@uniixxofficial]

*Thanks for the information!*

[@DenhaiASMR]

While watching this I got an ad about some dude that wrote a book on how to defend yourself form attackers.

[@Callum-oo3nl]

Hi Seán. I know that the chance of you reading this comment is very, but i just had an operation and I have to lie in bed for a while and I’ve been watching your videos since 3 am today and about 8pm yesterday. You make the best videos and I can’t stop watching. I think I speak for everyone when I say this, but you are one of the greatest content creators on youtube and I just wanted to say: Thank You. Edit: Damn it! There’s blood EVERYWHERE!

[@JaCrispyMoose]

Somehow, multiple guys doing perfect splits was the most suspicious thing in that video.

[@crazycraftyjo]

I’ll never forget one of the training videos I had to watch at my old job. “If a gun man enters the store hide behind the counter and throw your backpack at him”.

[@cdjk28]

Well, obviously if you're hiding behind the counter, he can't see you and a backpack comes flying out of nowhere the gunman thinks the place is haunted and leaves. Pay more attention

[@LinkAlien]

@@cdjk28 Your username tripped me up for a second. Well played

[@Amethystar]

I help run security training where I work, including a section on active shooters. That "advice" makes me cringe so much!

[@cdjk28]

@@LinkAlien Nice

[@Hill_Gi]

I just love these videos- I die of laughter so much

[@DanielLee1]

11:30 just made me think “Help! My head’s stuck in the washing machine! Where’s my step brother?!”

[@jedislap8726]

Just when I thought that Jack had realised it's a parody he then goes and takes it seriously again.

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@NostalgiaMan]

Endless suffering you say? I want to see Jack do some stand up

[@AzulDevin6880]

“Hello and welcome to Standing-Up School”

[@Thebestestofthebestes]

I mean, he didn't seem to have a chair, so I think he got the first step right

[@Reffieness]

Do you have 90 minutes to talk about the Jacksepticeye How Did We Get Here live tour?

[@russellcoight1221]

He cant, it just seems likes he sits down all the time

[@Thebestestofthebestes]

@nigmode445 Dude, you really shouldn't say that.

[@jadewolff2839]

the montone "add some flourish" has me DEAD i cant LMAO

[@MayoNeighs27]

First clip already got me 😂😂, get away from me just summons a big old bench to home run someone 😂

[@slightlydistressedslug6627]

“Another day has come and passed! you know what that means? ENDLESS SUFFERING.” This hit me way too hard I was not prepared

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@danielfoodistman6012]

LOL I MAKE BETTER CONTENT THAN JACKSEPTICEYE BECAUSE HE 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@sam_boulter]

This voiceover lady is just an absolute meme. She may as well have said, "What does he have? A knife!"

[@gracedebord3896]

Jack: *hits whiteboard with microphone* KZbin: How about an ad for therapy? me: *dies of laughter*

[@willowdragon]

I'm convinced the guy playing the attacker has done musical theater. "Tell me you're a dancer without telling me you're a dancer" type walk

[@lunacelatumbra3415]

I love seeing Jack's background set get more and more detailed and filled with knickknacks as he settles in. and also THE BOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!! IT RETUUUUUURNS!! THE LEGEND!!!!!!!

[@Riseo]

Man, this is some satire.

[@ventishdraws1283]

Eyo its you

[@Sekovatkain]

It must be, right?

[@Duck0.1]

HEY ITS YOU love your work btw can you make more tf2 stuff?

[@CaitlinMagness]

Troom Troom is … interesting. It’s utterly bizarre, definitely a content farm, probably Russian, but occasionally shows flashes of self-awareness that could hint at satire.

[@nietzschealfelor6211]

​@@CaitlinMagness They're actually Ukrainian, based in Odessa to be exact

[@joshwaeiss2436]

Sean's commentary saved me from cringing at this video. THANK YOU! You're a hero! Lol

[@AmbitiousDucks]

The attacker dude has one of those Pixar villain faces

[@arcticxabyss]

imagine if someone ACTUALLY tried any of these "self defense moves" and they got their butt kicked by the "bad guy". 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

[@isaamaandaa]

*i love how jack went from laughing out loud to full on being done asf with that channel and their bullshit by the end.* 😂

[@Coobster432]

Basically any channel I've seen that reacts to anything from Troom Troom is barely laughing at the start, but then they go into being absolutely done with that shit.

[@ElizabethTheJedi]

10:27 Jack’s comment about the guy here had me rolling.

[@Tyf1ght3r]

“Tell your mom your a absolute failure” OOOOHHHH!!!!!!

[@senzasmentalissues474]

When Sean said “and when you put them together” a child cancer awareness ad started playing, and it was one of the saddest, funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

[@_Wheels_21]

It's always amusing to see people say "great video Jack, I enjoyed it all" even though it's a 15 minute video posted 5 minutes ago

[@isaiah6325]

watching it at 2x speed

[@bendysbrother7447]

While I don't know if jack has this feature some people give patrons or other stuff similar to that early access to their videos.

[@theoguncleslappy9150]

Man this was a great funny vid from Jack.

[@groveri2]

@@isaiah6325 you have to watch it at 3x speed bc 15 divided by 3 = 5 easy math :)

[@TheLibermania]

I wouldn't be surprised at this point if a Patreon or something would get early access.