Podcast 272: Why we shouldn't (& can't) "forgive & forget"

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SHOW DESCRIPTION: In this podcast I talk about why forgetting doesn’t fix or heal something, and how to use reconceptualizing and mind-management to heal the past and find true and sustainable peace.
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PODCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
2:07 Why forgetting doesn’t fix something
2:20 Thoughts are real things in our brain that impact us mentally and physically
2:46 Your mind is not your brain
3:50 Our experiences change our brain and biology
4:51 Why we need to make our thoughts and experiences work for us and not against us through mind management
5:35 Why we cannot just forget what we have experienced, and how suppressing or ignoring a painful experience can impact our health
9:25 How our immune system responds to our negative experiences
11:30 Why trauma and toxic experiences are so hard to process
16:10, 36:15 Why we cannot just pretend something didn’t happen to us or try to suppress a bad memory
16:35 How to face your issues and reconceptualize them using mind management
19:00 Why we need to connect with others and share what we are going through to get context and perspective
28:22 Techniques to deal with negative experiences in the moment when everything seems too much
30:40 Why we cannot change or heal what we are not aware of
32:05 How to compartmentalize toxic memories and experiences so that you can calm down and cope in the moment
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
-Visit my website at drleaf.com for more free resources Follow me on social media for daily mental health tips & strategies:
Instagram: @drcarolineleaf: / drcarolineleaf
-Facebook: Dr. Caroline Leaf: / drleaf
-Twitter: @drcarolineleaf: / drcarolineleaf
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[@fitrunner1317]

The sad thing in trying to work though is that I have no family or friends n my life to talk too. Like seriously. It’s so hard not having a human being in my life to talk too. I talk to God everyday all day. I’m in a place of breaking out of unhealthy relationships, working on inner healing to have healthy relationships! It’s a lonely time in the process of transformation.

[@dodgyphilisopher9905]

I have the same problem. No one to communicate my thoughts with. Loneliness is hard to deal with. I'm not getting enough oxytocin. But snuggling with my cat does help.... until he bites lol.

[@barbs1298]

@@dodgyphilisopher9905 Try journaling just to get the thoughts out of your head.

[@dodgyphilisopher9905]

@@barbs1298 thank you!

[@ButtercupYeshua]

Yes me too god will bring you new good people if you let go of those that are abusive - trust Him , it’s scary but He luvs us so much we will not be alone - but you must be loving & open to safe people to fill your life

[@chooikhoo6874]

@@ButtercupYeshua yes, open to not just anyone but one who possess the following 6 qualities: one who love u, know u, listen to u, be confidential , have wisdom and able to grow you . It’s not easy to find this person and the best is to become this type of person ourselves.

[@teresagillmer9464]

Dr Leaf, I have had a feeling for many years having suffered depression that mostly Psychiatry doesn't help. You have to work things out for yourself. All they do is give you medication that suppresses your feelings.You solve you own problems. I'm retired professional nurse so I've seen it all . Praise God that He gave me the persistence to find the answers.

[@tartousisme]

Dr leaf is so amazing and so educational I actually listen to you when I get up from bed in the morning so I can get a good head start for my day. I’m extremely grateful for the knowledge that you share Dr Leaf so now I can process and proceed in the next direction of my journey. Bless you.

[@Tommymybaby]

Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

I love that! Thank you!

[@mikerichard4667]

Hi. Ware can I find your brain games

[@mamamode1312]

ReProgram

[@rolffuchs2737]

Memory without the emotional compound is wisdom. Dr. Joe Dispenza

[@annebeck2208]

Laughing as I just spent an hour dealing with weeds...the annual weeds can be chopped and dropped to decompose (just can't let them stay in and go to seed), but the weeds you're talking about are the perennial and dig and dig and try to get all the root or they are back! I can't even let them lay on the ground or some will re-root....It really helps me see how I have got to deal with it seriously.

[@CSteen]

So thankful for this teaching; I ran across another similar one several years ago and was able to move out of chronic anxiety to deal with the roots of PTSD that had gone undiagnosed for more than a dozen year. Now, I'm sharing this with my other friends who are suffering trauma. THANK YOU!

[@amyhansen6272]

Thank you Dr Caroline Leaf. You are such a blessing to me, and I’m sure many others. So grateful God led me to you through my daughter. You have helped me so much. God bless you and your family!!💜

[@annettes.5267]

I must remember this phrase, what I don’t transform I transmit. Thank you Dr. Caroline

[@CatherineRozanski1963]

Thankyou once again Dr Caroline Leaf...Another very insightful lesson. Something I have always felt but hearing you, confirms that my mental health is healthy. I am gaining so much from your podcasts💟💟💟xXx

[@lunetelalune2783]

I usually don't comment on your videos, but today I feel compelled to do so. My uncle is a public figure, former senator, and when my dad needed him the most, he turned his back on him. I want to be able to let it go. I am still not sure how to recast this event in a positive light. The only positive side to this is that the veil was finally lifted, and my father saw him for the person I have always known him to be.

[@raineygorges9743]

You are such a blessing to the listeners. Thanks for your video.

[@meribethlarsen6669]

Thank you for teaching us we can/do have a part in coping with life.

[@ajaykumara7158]

Thank you very much for this wonderful podcast Dr Caroline !🙏

[@sandrafagan8693]

Wonderful video Dr caroline makes a lot of sence 🤔' with all the videos around about covid ' injections ' and government I find your podcast helpful however yes it's still there very difficult about making decision about injections ? Trusting it the way forward for us ...Yes I agree with what you say about how we should have had a lot more help around talking about ' deep connection 🤔im what we all need ......it's need to be taught in schools too ....a mixing of the ages exactly ' love it ......

[@bronwyngeyser1765]

Absolutely huge Caroline. Thank you so much 💓 It's probably not this podcast, but I really battle with being intimated by others and I'm trying to understand where that stems from

[@goldenhummingbird]

please remember to also deconstruct the toxic CV & bogus v*x narrative (this is not denial)... there is a lot of good info to be found by inquiring, curious and courageous minds

[@hephzibahb.7370]

Exactly

[@kathycrunch]

So glad others saw this too (if I read you right)

[@enlightenedhummingbird5101]

*The hi gh wire* and *tr uth 11 dot com*

[@marydesmond2102]

Dr Caroline....an excellent talk .Thank you.I enjoy your thinking very much

[@saved2serve341]

Dr. Leaf you're such an amazing blessing. Ive learnt so much. I'd really appreciate it if you can give a brief explanation of your thoughts on the amygdala function please. I believe that you have a unique description from what we have read in books by other scientists. I am ready to embrace your view because you have a God centered mind. God bless!

[@TheTeganOsmondChannel]

This was so good. Thank you

[@terrigoone7084]

How enlightening and sensible Thank you Dr Caroline Leaf 🌷

[@iw9338]

Thank you very much for your help& teaching this. God bless you and your family.

[@amymalaba9241]

How does this fit biblically? As a Pastor, bible student and counselor. The scriptures speak more of remove or erase rather than forget which I prefer. Remove speaks of breaking down of one thought and building another. Even erase can be seen as an action of breaking down... I need to do more bible research but I have noticed in counseling forgetting is very dangerous. I explain often that when the bible speaks of "forgetting" it often means turning away from ...ie you forgot your God...means you turned away from relying on God. In the same way you can "forget" by turning away from relying on ... Scriptures to follow..

[@tbennnett4277]

Thanks for sharing...

[@averageillegalmemesdealer]

It doesn't necessarily fit biblically in my opinion, and I think that's alright. There can be many contradictions in day-to-day life to the scriptures - for which everyone will have to end up deciding on the narrative they prefer. The scriptures are an attempt at understanding god, but it was still men that had to write it after all. Whether you believe "forgive and forget" verbatim or see it as a metaphor for forgetting thy Lord, your spiritual journey is unique and unreplicated to anyone else, so I'd just suggest: don't feel religiously pressured by doctrine and masses in the first place! After all, who swims better? One who learns a hundred strokes, or another who is one with the water? It's been a while since I've gone to church, but it's lovely to see pastors adapting to the sciences and learning how to bring benefit to the 'flock' :0)

[@ButtercupYeshua]

Good tells us to think on those things tgat are lovely pure & true it’s very basic = replace & focus , very simple

[@cherenecomick]

This teaching is excellent! However it is misnamed - it says “why it is not good to forgive and forget” but what you’re really trying to convey is that it is not good to forget and ignore past trauma. I think you should rename this podcast.

[@vickybautista1601]

Dr Leaf you are amazing! Is it anyway you can make recordings in Spanish to share with my family?

[@alexg7472]

Madame that is amazing , I have inherited this to say thoughts are real like covid, and can impact you /your body, we can destruct or elevate based on how we manage those thoughts

[@TonyaA7]

I been praying and asking God to help me let go of the past and forgive myself and those who hurt me etc...

[@georgipetrov6337]

I love your videos and the work you're doing!

[@josephinewanjiku7406]

Thank Dr for such enlightening information

[@naomijansen9544]

Awesome, thanks Dr Leaf

[@debravan-aalst4723]

beware of people-pleasing !

[@hephzibahb.7370]

YES!

[@livinginlovewellness]

Love this woman God bless her 🙏🏾

[@debravan-aalst4723]

what about bringing our thoughts captive to the Lord Jesus Christ ( 2 Cor. 10:5)It is through intimacy with Christ that we are healed 🙃

[@TonyaA7]

By the power and presence of the Holy Spirit.

[@christienagel9605]

Watching you for the first time from Gresham Oregon!..

[@cindyfoley1675]

So helpful. Thank you!!!

[@jane77722]

Excellent explanation!

[@victoriaogletree4669]

This has helped me a lot. If we don't transform we will transmit. I was betrayed by someone Iv'e known for decades. The pain is gone ( God asked Samuel why do you weep for Saul?) But need to process and reconcepualize.

[@sagarghatge6704]

I literally fell in love with this lady. Beauty with brains!😊

[@annaswanepoel9522]

Please share : how to respond to unresolved relationships issues - when contact with a person is lost ? What do you do with these emotions ? Where do you put it if you can’t resolve it ? Please share the Neuro cycle ?

[@sukhvindersoora8646]

Many Many Thanks❤🌹🙏

[@rcz2023]

Thank You Dr. Leaf

[@jenrich111]

Love from Australia 💖🏠🇦🇺 enjoying your Neurocycle App which is helping teach me skills (not pills)

[@janedough2492]

There’s an app for the Nuero cycle? How can I get it?

[@barbs1298]

@@janedough2492 Pay $70 after you buy her book.

[@PRWOMENHERE]

How much is it to use it?

[@violettanikolin7178]

Perfect so I am old and I am ok with technology 🤣💕🙏🏻thank you so much,,love your book 📚

[@rcz2023]

Thank you ❤

[@forensicbadassprofiling]

In a perfect world we'd have the young teaching the old technology n the old teaching the young wisdom, but come on here... We have a major crises. You do not teach the neural cycle in your book. You skim over it n promote ur $15 month app instead. The new way of making money. Selling wellness in an app for new tech world. We have a TOXIC ISSUE WE CAN'T BOX OR PUT DISTANCE. Most of us elderly are alone. Most young already compartmentalize. Hmmmm.... That's NOT reconstructing. That's AVOIDING. Your next step literally gas lights EVERYTHING you just explained w boxing n windowing. Face n embrace but box n window? I’m no expert, but that makes NO sense.

[@ruthlandis7911]

This is good teaching.... On how to manage your mind.... Thank you !!

[@cindymurray12]

Why is the subtitles only offered in Vietnamese? I need English.

[@debraaugustine4529]

Thanks you for your teacher today

[@laurar8486]

And now it's overcoming the trauma of being told that the vaccines were safe and effective and did not cause adverse side effects like death.

[@susana4434]

Dr. Leaf, did your book make it to best seller?

[@barbs1298]

She doesn't read or reply to these comments. Check Amazon.

[@mm.rosado]

Genuine question, what microphone is she using for recording this podcast/video? It's so crystal clear sound. She's not wearing a headset, and I cannot see if she has it on the lapel or the desk or overhead. Please let me know brand and model. Thank you. Loving all these videos and episodes. Very helpful.

[@samuvelnadakattin103]

Im Blessd. Im from India.

[@wereckk2488]

Are you talking about forgiveness or Covid -19 ?

[@ericktippett4158]

I gain much knowledge from Dr. Leaf's presentations, but in this one she doesn't explore specific examples of the 'forgive' aspect of experience involving other personalities.

[@twinflamesundercoverthanks5274]

I don’t forgive and forget

[@christineandcarlmilitz2883]

Unforgiveness causes many bad chemical changes in the body that lead to disease

[@ButtercupYeshua]

@@christineandcarlmilitz2883 yes if people make you feel n remember toxic thoughts you must not have contact

[@danieltroen1601]

Your my shiney star

[@melissabrown8691]

Going thru a nightmare

[@unendlichkeitparadox698]

forget= fixing! depends on the topic

[@Lina126y]

I like that you are not teaching these truths without going into New Age thought and religion. God’s word is science of mind and spirit. However I thought this was suppose to be about forgiveness not COVID

[@irinarakovicprivatepractice]

Is it correct to say that your subconscious is your mind?

[@barbs1298]

No. Your mind is more the conscious part you control.

[@corsicanlulu]

the subconscious controls more than 80% of everything so in my view it is

[@barbs1298]

@@corsicanlulu Well, that is also true to a degree, but your conscious mind is what you have control over to choose which thoughts you focus on. You have little control over your subconscious unless you dabble in hypnosis & other things that I wouldn't suggest if you are a Christian.

[@corsicanlulu]

@@barbs1298 is this a christian channel? i didnt notice. anyways from what ive learned, it doesnt matter how much good thoughts you focus on if your subconscious is traumatized and negative. you have to heal your subconsious through whatever means u choose or else it will block your conscious, positive thoughts and its all for naught.

[@barbs1298]

@@corsicanlulu That is true as I have suffered trauma. Trauma is processed in the right side of the brain as a sensory experience & cannot be healed through talk therapy alone. It requires the use of various modalities such as art therapy, music therapy, equine therapy & movement therapy to dislodge the trauma in conjunction w/traditional talk therapy which is a left brain process more or less. Use of various therapy modalities helps connect the 2 sides in dealing with trauma. Music for instance can access emotions that may have become stuck much more readily than talk alone can. I am a retired school counselor & have had some trauma training. Caroline Leaf espouses to be a Christian & speaks at churches world wide. That is how she got her foot in the door. She also focuses primarily on thought control & does not believe in medication & until the last few years after her daughter suffered a terrible bout w/depression & an eating disorder, she really didn't acknowledge depression as such. It was more a thought disorder, not one of a chemical imbalance. She more believes the incorrect thoughts create the imbalance as opposed to the other way around..

[@honoriamunoz9129]

Por favooooor traduzcalo al español.

[@Nelugia]

interesting but let's not forget that covid is not the only virus or desease we have...

[@adventurestoothercountrys6524]

هل انت موافقه

[@EvakarenMuriithi]

💛💛

[@knottymom88]

Ugh...such a bummer...I absolutely fell in love with your descriptions and ez to understand "scenarios" for our everyday situations...then u used MSM garbage about getting the vaccine...I was under the impression you knew better... :( such a bummer

[@goldenhummingbird]

she may be trying to communicate to folks who are brainwashed... and if you are right, don't throw the baby out with the bath water... encourageing folks to speak together at least is going in the right direction....

[@halinkap5217]

I am a Christian, and i love science (they both walk together hand on hand). And i thank God for giving humanity many discoveries like x rays and surgeries and so on... and yes, the vaccines too! Just Google iron lungs for polio - we do not know them and do know any kids with polio thanks to the polio vaccine. Just Google smallpox - it was completely eradicated thanks to vaccinations!

[@TOBYCAT93]

This old ducks not having a vaccine I shed lost a lot of her edge

[@debravan-aalst4723]

Halinka P this is an experimental vaccine developed for a ‘ virus’ that has a 99.9% survival rate 🤔

[@TOBYCAT93]

@@debravan-aalst4723 but dose it contain human tissue from aborted babies? If it dose that's a moral dilemma for Christians God hates the shedding of innocent blood Is the vaccine the mark of the beast?

[@adventurestoothercountrys6524]

انااقصد الزواج

[@coldtreasure]

haaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiii :D

[@mamamode1312]

Brain Hardware Mind Software Proteins Firmware

[@hephzibahb.7370]

Supporting the vax when you use to speak up against big pharm. Lost respect. I use to go to conferences with you until I saw you cower with BLM subject. You had a chance to help my people get out of oppressive victimhood and you didn't in order to be politically correct. Unfortunately, I will not be able to refer people and I will find a new, courageous messenger for God's wisdom on thoughts. You are not the only one.

[@cloverbird5785]

Thank you for your comment. I suggest a film The Greatest Story Never Told by Dennis Wise. It is important for all to see. Before you get offended my family had 185 relatives in the camps.

[@hephzibahb.7370]

@@cloverbird5785 I am not easily offended. I am however disappointed at the lost opportunities to stand firm when it matters most.

[@meadow9441]

lmao, the jesus freaks are always the one who don’t believe in science. go figure.

[@manowode6286]

Lovely woman. Good ideas indeed. Caroline has Faith..Super Health knowledge..etc ... But supporting the experimental Vaccine has disappointed me. God Bless her anyway.

[@adventurestoothercountrys6524]

انامسلم غرض زواجه وعيش مع زوجه

[@claraemiliacocos8875]

Change perspectives Change lives by Clara C (me) free ebook that learn you about all 🙏❤️🥰

[@HK-cp8tm]

Thank you x