Polyamory (with Spice8Rack) | Sci Guys Podcast

[@SciGuys]

Are you polyamorous or monogamous?

[@ajkierstead7357]

poly🤘🏻

[@coena9377]

In theory, I’m polyamorous. In practice, I’m introverted.

[@JasminUwU]

I'm married to both of your parents, so polyamorous

[@sssargon8569]

@@coena9377 yep, i feel that

[@tylersmith8366]

Polyamorous! A great KZbin channel to learn more about polyamory is Multiamory. It's a guy and two girls who all for several years were in a triad together. Although one of the women left the triad, all three remain polyamorous and continue to put out podcast episodes and KZbin videos.

[@Spice8Rack]

Honoured to have been a part of episode 169 ;) Thanks for having me on!

[@isobelb]

Thank you for being a polyam ambassador.

[@joantendler6518]

You're wearing cat ears here-very appropriate, since the cat parasite toxoplasma can make people polyamorous. This parasite is very dangerous, since it also causes brain tumors, vision problems, OCD, hormonal disorders, anxiety, suicide, and prostate cancer. You feed it when you consume carbs, alcohol, nuts, and modern oils, but kill it with a ketogenic diet high in animal fat.

[@Amelia-lr5lp]

It's so interesting that people struggle with just the concept of polyamory itself, which I assume mostly comes from the fact that we live in a society, whereas I was introduced to the concept in my teens and once I understood that it's just a practice for multiple people to form multiple consensual relationships it just seemed very simple (as a concept). And so the number of people against polyamory itself (not even for themselves, just in general) seems to be inherently tied to the lack of understanding in the general population? I don't know, it just seems weird that so many people are against it? Maybe I'm missing something.

[@coena9377]

I think part of it comes from projection (i.e. “it wouldn’t work for me, so it won’t work for anyone.”) Also part of it comes from Puritanical moral standards.

[@bitsy00005]

I am a monogamous person in a hierarchical polyamorous relationship. My partner (they/them) has another partner (she/her), but my relationship with them is primary. If I need them, that comes first. I try to ensure that my needs are all met before they have a date so they can have a good time. I am casual friends with their partner. She and I get along well. My partner and I live together, but she doesn't live near us. Because they don't get to see her very often, I try to help make the time they do have together as pleasant as possible. My partner has always been very affectionate and loving. I am happy to share them and get some time to myself, but have no desire to have another partner myself.

[@juniperfox1064]

That is great that you’ve figured out what you need within that! Hearing this type of relationship reminds me how being poly is about what you’re engaging in-like your partner can be poly and be with you even though you aren’t poly. I have met people I connect with a lot who arent poly and we still want to see where it goes and figure it out!

[@daino8030]

yall still together?

[@Luketherat]

I've never had any serious relationships, polyamorous or monogamous, but I feel like I would be open to either one.

[@elisakrivas]

You should look up ambiamory. Maybe it suits you? You don’t have to label yourself, I’m just giving a suggestion. Ambiamory is being able to choose between a monoamorous vs a non-monoamorous relationship. You’d feel comfortable in either.

[@CynderWolff]

I practice "Ethical non Monogamy" i had always felt soooo controlled and trapped in my abusive monotonous relationships in the past. I found out about poly and learned a bunch and now am in am ENM!

[@CynderWolff]

Monogamous *

[@coena9377]

I’m glad you got away from your abuser and get to practice a relationship structure that works better for you!

[@thiel_spencer]

I am not poly, which makes a lot of sense seeing as I'm on the aromatic and asexual spectrum 🤣 if I do find someone I am interested in, it's a miracle. If I find more than one... well... I don't know what that would be because it's never happened before lol

[@nastjuschechka]

I am aro, and I know there are some people who like identifying as polyamorous, but I also prefere non-monogamous more because I don't even know how I am getting in to those relashionships and I am pretty open to my partners doing their thing :)

[@thiel_spencer]

@@nastjuschechka oh, that's fair, yeah! I completely get that, I have thought about that before - being unbothered by a partner going and doing their own thing - and would be down for it irl if I ever had interest in a partner, but I've not so... I don't have to worry about a hypothetical partner wanting to be non-monogamous lol. So, it's fun to know there's at least one like minded person out there haha

[@elisakrivas]

@@nastjuschechka non-monoamory is about choice and options. You can choose various forms. The people who identify as polyamorous are strictly saying that their orientation isn’t capable of having only one partner, which means, unlike an open relationship, they won’t be able to prioritize one above the other. Unlike swinging, it won’t be all about sex. Although these are two other examples of non-monoamory, they are not polyamory. What makes polyamory an orientation and identity is the fact that a person is unable to choose which partner is better or should be prioritized. You can be in a non-monoamorous relationship and still prioritize a partner. Polyamory tends to focus on the multiple partners more equally. If someone says that their orientation is polyamorous, it means “I’m unable to choose just one partner or who is better.” I hope this makes sense, but non-monoamory is an umbrella term that is okay for ambiamorous people who can shuffle through different types of relationships, but only polyamory will suit polyamorous people.

[@nastjuschechka]

@@elisakrivas polyamorous people can still prioritize relationships. There is hierarchical polyamory. And people can just use labels they feel more comfortable with :) everybody interprets them a little different anyway.

[@elisakrivas]

@@nastjuschechka yes, but that’s usually more for ambiamorous people

[@coena9377]

I’m polyamorous, mostly cause I’m trying to get invited to join someone’s DnD campaign. But I’m also an asexual introvert so I haven’t been in a polycule or a DnD campaign yet.

[@mwva13]

The often coveted, rarely maintained polycule DnD campaign. So are you really poly or do you just have a scheduling fetish? jk :) in my experience your odds will be better if you're a DM.

[@cryptidkyle5528]

I am polyamorous, and queer or pan is fine. I happen to be on the aromantic spectrum though, so I have my darling husband/wife and two queer platonic partners as of right now.

[@joantendler6518]

The cat parasite toxoplasma makes people polyamorous. So, if you are polyamorous, get tested ASAP, since this parasite also causes brain tumors, vision problems, OCD, hormonal disorders, anxiety, suicide, and prostate cancer. You feed it when you consume carbs, alcohol, nuts, and modern oils, but kill it with a ketogenic diet high in animal fat.

[@elisakrivas]

Thank you for giving an unbiased conversation. I really appreciate this. This was pleasant to listen to.

[@arborrhys9162]

im poly! its about more than being with multiple people for me, id rather have no romantic/sexual connections than a mono relationship. just like i would rather have no friends than one friend who has no other friends and will be upset if i make a new friend. i feel like i am inherently inclined towards open relationship structures, i am poly in the same way i am bi.

[@flynnaugustbassist8523]

Tried it. Didn’t really think about it bc I didn’t really care about myself. My ex brought up and I was just so submissive and didn’t give a shit about myself that I just let them date other people. It’s ok to be poly in my opinion but you need to make sure the partners are ok with it and I wasn’t even though I never said. Sure it’s partly my fault for not saying but I never felt comfortable or had the self esteem to say. They also started the other relationship through cheating and then they told me. They were pretty neglectful of my emotions and I regret dating them for so long. I would be willing to try again and they are many good polyamorous people who are in happy relationships.

[@puptastic5]

im sorry that happened flynn :( glad you're out of that now !

[@redrose7189]

I realized I was polyamorous about half a year ago and this episode was extremely informative. It helped me learn a lot about myself and my community.

[@jamoz42]

The spicy boy is on sci guys! :O it's the crossover I didn't know I needed! Personally I'm still learning about polyamoury from my friend whos been openly poly for a few years, it honestly makes a lot of sense to me, but I don't think I have the emotional bandwidth to be dating two+ people at once (aro spectrum) though would be happy to be part of a V or herarchical

[@aristhought]

Love Spice8rack for their MTG content, so happy to see them here for this!

[@VermisTerrae]

I don't think going to a specific person instead of others to get a particular need met is a matter of hierarchy unless your relationships are formed mainly for meeting specific needs. In my mind, hierarchy would come down to prioritizing some over others, perhaps regarding time spent with them, availability to see them, or something of that nature. Where someone would prioritize spending time with X over spending time with Y because X is the primary relationship. Of course, everyone is welcome to do their own thing when everyone is on board. As a polyamorous anarchist, inserting hierarchy into my relationships feels icky, but I may just not understand the premise.

[@fuskersong]

I'm polyamorous! I'm only seeing one person at the moment but I was the one that broached the idea of it to my partner, and he now has a wonderful girlfriend who I also adore (in a platonic way :D ) We all talk about anything and everything, from scheduling quality time for everyone involved, to those weird jealousies that inevitably crop up in any relationship, poly or mono. It's the most harmonious relationship I've ever been in and I've never been happier. Can't wait for that spark with someone new to happen for me so we can expand our super happy family

[@joantendler6518]

You have an interesting avatar as a cat, since the cat parasite toxoplasma makes people polyamorous. This parasite is very dangerous because it also causes brain tumors, vision problems, OCD, hormonal disorders, anxiety, suicide, and prostate cancer. You feed it when you consume carbs, alcohol, nuts, and modern oils, but kill it with a ketogenic diet high in animal fat.

[@fuskersong]

I'm going to assume your warnings come from a good place and reply accordingly, though writing off an aspect of someone's core identity as a parasite side effect could be taken as a wee bit phobic/offensive. I'm polyamorous in the same way as I'm queer, it's part of me and I embrace it just as I do my eye colour, my love of crisps and my interest in science fiction. Accepting that I can love more than one person in a romantic and/or sexual way has made me happier than a lot of things in life, and a lot more at peace with myself, and just because polyam is not the norm, doesn't mean it should be written off as a defect/illness/something to fix. Much love

[@NotPMHarper]

I am not polyamorous but I would consider myself non-monogamous. I don't have enough energy (nor a need) to have multiple romantic partners but was in an open relationship (which I would describe as being romantically monogamous but sexually non-monogamous) for 4.5 years.

[@mwva13]

OK, I'm a Relationship Antiracist (RA), cohabitating (nesting) with my Hierarchal Polyamorous partner. I appreciate that you are discussing this topic, but I have so many subtle critiques of you definitions, that I don't know were to start. For my nesting partner I am her primary, but as a RA I am explicit with all of my partners, that I do not call her my primary, but the nuance in how my relationship with her is not also a primary relationship is moot.

[@geminiwolf0077]

Don't you mean anarchist? It says Antiracist, which good for you either way.

[@coralovesnature]

I am not polyamorous and it takes me a long time to become emotionally involved and available to one person, so having to do that with more than one person just sounds exhausting honestly. Additionally, my sex drive is quite low/ minimal (which I’m fine with), so I have no need nor desire for other partners for that purpose either as my current partner is more than satisfactory. But I am quite comfortable with the concept of polyamory and I think it is a wonderful option for people that are a good fit for it. My sister is in a polyamorous relationship and I’m quite supportive of her choices.

[@arborrhys9162]

thats really interesting, cause im someone who also takes a long time to warm up to people and consider us friends, let alone close friends or lovers, but i'm poly. still, it is effort to get close to people and stay close, so in practice ive ended up with two lovers (though id still be poly even with just one). its neat that despite our similarity weve ended up in different relationship styles.

[@coralovesnature]

@@arborrhys9162 indeed! It’s cool that even though we are different in some ways, we can still find commonalities. :)

[@godhasgas]

Really good one guys ❤️💕

[@geminiwolf0077]

I'm polyamorous. My cousin told me that polyamory is just cheating, even though I tried explaining it to her. At least my friends and my mom respect, understand, and accept me.

[@Kaltag2278]

I am polygam but I have a lot of personal issues to work through right now. My nesting partner (also polyam) and I are currently monogamish

[@CrossoverKid92]

I'm mainly monogamous but I think I'd be open to trying it before making a proper opinion about polyamory

[@spootot]

A platonic polycule being called a podcast, brilliant

[@dancingCactus]

In response to the fast life history and slow life history portion of the video, I do think that while within the way that fast and slow life histories are defined in the video that polyamory doesn't categorically fit into either. I say this because the definition assumes a life path towards a normative relationship structure based around offspring. This in turn seems to overlook queer and otherwise LGBT+ relationship structures and also seems to assume that polyamorous relationships are defined by a reproductive goal.

[@briannenurse4640]

I'm somewhere between solo-poly and relationship anarchy. I'm also pansexual, aro/ace spectrum, and nonbinary.

[@danielhilderbrand7393]

I tried polyamory but it did not work for me personally

[@rickyc1410]

So if a QPR included multiple people, could that be considered polyamory?

[@3nd-un0btain3d]

Idk if I'm poly I've never rlly seriously thought about it,but I'd be open to it. I have trouble liking even one person though so we'll see.

[@juniperfox1064]

I’m poly 😊😊 now is an exciting time because I am in my first serious relationship since being poly! It is so natural to my partner and I and was always a foundational part of our relationship from when we first started.

[@OtakuTiki]

It's always theater kids Edit: Also episode 169

[@darkshark320]

I've never been in a relationship, polyamorous or not, but I would be willing to try it I guess

[@rickyc1410]

Huh, wasnt expecting to see spice here, but I’m happy to see him

[@zoomer-express]

"Kiss the whole village"

[@jessicatrimble1116]

i have been cheated on so my boyfriend having another relationship like that is a no. I would think about it for myself. I trust my self.

[@crumble_cat]

I'm Polyamorous and very happy.

[@nastassjaselow4344]

I know that I am poly and omnisexual as my identity, however I am still on the journey of trying to make poly work in my existing relationship.

[@Johnny_T779]

Nope, not for me. I'm way too intense and also autistic 😝. I couldn't focus romantically and sexually one more than one person at the time (they are my special interest 😁).

[@erenjaeger5146]

okay but their may be a small percentage of polyamorous people…but with how rare exclusive polyamory is it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s low chances to date a polyam person

[@persistenturge]

Spice's kitty headphones ♥️

[@ashleyrose5180]

I'm ambiamorous. Currently in a poly relationship

[@tanner3806]

24:22 wow, way to call out my PARENTS corry

[@elisakrivas]

I know for a fact that not all polyamorous people have fast life history because I certainly don't. I like to take things slow. I think that may be a wrongful stereotype. I'm not saying anything against you or insinuating that's what you're saying, I'm just commenting that I disagree with the article.

[@Cloudmuffintops]

I would be poly if I weren't aro, The idea is cool and I despise monogamy but I can't even get myself to like one person, let alone a few

[@erenjaeger5146]

whenever i tell people i’m polyamorous my first reaction is ‘oh i could never do that’ like IM NOT ASKING YOU TOO? i’m just a simp who would like to talk about his boyfriends!! i listened to you talk about your girlfriend for an hour now let me be gay pls i don’t want you 😭😭😭

[@Punk·Fisch]

I am a bisexual polyamorous living in semi-relationship anarchy xD

[@Drawoon]

Do another episode with spice! I need to know the science of goblins.

[@jessicawright6091]

I am indeed polyamorous thanks for asking

[@jasminema]

never tried and not interested in polyamory. I couldn't share my husband anyone :P

[@janApen]

Very Polly.