Popular Children's Book Author Reveals The 'Spooky Truth' About Creepy Conspiracy Theories

For A Brand New Episode Of Today Now: onion.com/ZPmTSZ
The bestselling author of "The Spooky Truth" series wants to teach kids that pulling back the curtain on what the government doesn't want us to know can be fun!
Subscribe to The Onion on KZbin: bit.ly/xzrBUA
Like The Onion on Facebook: www. theo...
Follow The Onion on Twitter: / theonion

[@jakobhere620]

The new one, "The Wicked Waves of the 5G Tower" is _really_ good.

[@Adam-xf6sq]

And the sequel: the March of the mask monsters

[@timmythetechpriest5177]

He kinda fell off with ‘The Democrat That Called Coup’, but it was still decent

[@manaleauxduclaire482]

Is that the one with the telepathic rudimentary A.I. that's sole purpose is to troll the receivers of it's transmission, in the hope that they get so tired they do as they're told?

[@timmythetechpriest5177]

@@manaleauxduclaire482 no, that was The Curse of the Russian Bots

[@matthoward8546]

Frankentwat a transgender tale.

[@southrules]

7/11 was a part time job

[@excitableboy7031]

Investigate 3/11

[@frizzletot]

@@excitableboy7031 I'm a simple person. I see an Eric Andre reference, I upvote

[@dante224real1]

11/11 was a 1 time joke

[@JoozOwnTheMedia-xi3fl]

9/11 was done by israel and mossad

[@gaveferia1421]

Susan did 12/11

[@Tagg360]

"don't use the libraries, they track what you read." XDD

[@demonicsushiz2515]

ludlow 889 how do they know????

[@petros_adamopoulos]

@@demonicsushiz2515 They invented everything. Hell.. they invented you, to be a slave!

[@demonicsushiz2515]

Petros Adamopoulos they invented humans?

[@user-jl7cz2pe6d]

@@demonicsushiz2515 In most libraries, in order to check something out, you need a library card.

[@demonicsushiz2515]

@@user-jl7cz2pe6d then just don't go to the library if ur scared of getting your info taken to the evil government lizards

[@HagazX]

"How to compliment high-school kids without coming across like you're hitting on them" Yes please

[@JB-wl7jx]

“Cool backpack”

[@lazyhomebody1356]

@@JB-wl7jx I watch that skit over and over. I think I could even talk to a child by now

[@nathanfievet5546]

@@JB-wl7jx oh man you couldn't be more wrong, i've got LAID using this one.

[@JB-wl7jx]

Nathan Fievet 😂😳💀

[@ol7980]

yeah anything appearance related is weird, i think the only time it isn’t weird for me is when someone who knew me before says, “wow you’re all grown up!” because even being called pretty by the opposite sex can come off as predatory. i think it’s better to ask teens about their future goals and compliment those, partially because complimenting that way has more substance, partially because complimenting someone’s goals isn’t sexual unless you make it sexual.

[@JABS991]

Just bought my kid the new "Grabblers Are Poisoning Our Wells with Fluoride" novel. They can't put it down.

[@ElectronerpProductions]

What is this, a crossover episode?

[@johnkim8259]

And the Babbler

[@themuppet8161]

HOW DO YOU FIND THESE BOOKS!!!!????? I CANT FIND THEM ANYWHERE ONLINE.

[@KD-xb5np]

Fake news! It's actually the Commies. They're trying to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!

[@alvedonaren]

@@themuppet8161 The Onion is a parody site.

[@piercecathey5481]

A good recent book is “Jeffrey Epstein and the spooky island.”

[@playingcalm5116]

Everyone needs to swing into that one, interesting novel.

[@thebirchwoodtree]

Playing Calm - Love the twist

[@deaedbravo9005]

Spoilers: Hillary Clinton kills Epstein.

[@painkillerjones6232]

"The MSM that tried to take over the world" is another good read.

[@JHenryEden]

The spookiest book was about the grabblers that instigated a war so that they can live the reality that they have destroyed for everyone else.

[@pauldecker4630]

Credit where it's due; they both made good parody covers of 'Goosebumps' and made the guy playing Graves look reasonably like R.L Stine

[@sethritchie4032]

That's the 1st thing I thought of when I seen his name k.l graves lol maaan I used to read r.l stein too lol

[@dmmice2344]

I loved the goosebumps books when I was a kid

[@ethankoh6851]

I thought it was a parody of Mr Midnight ... guess it's a South East Asian thing

[@shutup-wx6qj]

@@ethankoh6851 bro those were about hantu, this one is "conspiracy" theories

[@frontallobotomy3481]

Alex Jones grew up on these books

[@qualivia]

Frontal Lobotomy haha

[@user-sd5dz2dc6u]

Actually he grew up on "None dare call it conspiracy"

[@TomFromYoutube]

They're not real. This is fake.

[@jonas3333]

Alex Jones is a Zionist shill. KEEP UP!

[@idklol5670]

@@TomFromKZbin this is a skit 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

[@turtledink5675]

My favorite is "Don't touch this book, it's glue", bought it for my kids and they haven't been able to put it down since!

[@LifeOutward]

"I'll take the Spooky Truth boxset aaaand a bottle of redpills please."

[@sillycookie]

My favorite one is "Flat Earth Fright"! Really had me on edge.

[@hera5614]

The characters were a bit 2-dimensional, though.

[@juliannehannes11]

And it just felt flat

[@Adam-xf6sq]

The story was a bit thin

[@metareaper8008]

God level pun right there

[@mrziiz6893]

You mean the edge?

[@buffnatsuki7204]

"He doesnt even drink tap water!" Dont worry, hes not a frog

[@majikss]

@Arrow Head shut up fucking moron

[@lordofthecats6397]

Hey, don't hate on Buffsuki.

[@CrittingOut]

Ahahhaha

[@TechnoMinarchist]

Ironically, all those conspiracies about fluoride in tap water being bad for us turned out to be true.

[@CrittingOut]

@@TechnoMinarchist sources now please

[@Auryce]

"THE CIA'S INVENTED THE 70's" is like my favorite since ever.

[@milascave2]

aur: Hey, the 70s was real. I was there. Or was I?

[@intergalactichumanempire9759]

You believe in the CIA? Are you kidding me?

[@kidyomu89]

Do you mean scentence?

[@Kier4n99]

Yeah you missed the HIV part

[@bellamafiaquackafellarecor7770]

You’re right, the counterculture was a completely organic movement with no social engineering whatsoever

[@TheEmolano]

My dad started to read those books during the pandemic and he is loving every single one of them. I think his favorite is the one that talk of vacines made of fetus, I forgot it's name.

[@joeyjojojrshabadoo7462]

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Use_of_fetal_tissue_in_vaccine_development there you go

[@youtub-fj8mu]

Olavo of Oak and the Cursed Pepsi

[@Kevin-wd3gr]

Brbrbr

[@acynicalasian]

The Jab of Jautism?

[@francescolisboa903]

"Squid Fingers": Marked to Death by CIA

[@chuckhunter77]

I don't envy you Onion writers. Sure, 9 years ago it was probably a lot of fun just thinking up wacky scenarios like this, thinking "Surely this is so implausible that everyone will understand that it's satire." Only to end up living in a world so eerily like your writing, that attempting to even come up with something equally crazy and unbelievable now is virtually impossible.

[@gayusschwulius8490]

It's something the "Simpsons" writers have been struggling with for 30 years, lmao

[@lilyhalter8443]

I personally love “Q-Anon: The Last Hope” for my kids! They loved it so much, they learned how to hack into all of their friends’ emails!

[@rockycomet4587]

BlueAnon anybody?

[@WingoEthan]

@@rockycomet4587 No bitches?

[@bezllama3325]

@@rockycomet4587 yup the bigger conspiracy qanon was blown up by liberals

[@henrikwilliams569]

"Use giant owl statue to pick the next president." Well if it removes the ridiculous bread-and-circus clownshow of presidential elections...

[@valeriew4833]

Lol they're saying the election process is just for show because they secretly select the next president via giant owl

[@drcommondrate12]

Lol Bohemian Grove Club Meeting reference

[@dondraper4438]

@@valeriew4833 Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if that was true.

[@sylph8005]

Giant owl statue somehow sounds less biased than whatever they're likely really doing.

[@fragilegamez59]

@@sylph8005 The owl is less corrupt than the electoral college

[@kellyunitas7209]

I'm a big shark fan, so when I found out the next spooky truth book would be about sharks trained by Israeli nationalists in an attempt to kill Palestinians, I was so excited.

[@inspectorjavert8443]

How can sharks be useful as assassins, they can't swim on land... or is the entire holy land actually under water?!

[@drakoinx]

These premises actually sound pretty awsome. Somone needs to make these real lol.

[@painkillerjones6232]

That would be a good thing!!

[@edoboleyn]

The funniest part about this is that wild animals have actually been “arrested” for years in Arab countries and accused of spying for Israel.

[@AlexRejba]

או שיט, הם עלו עלינו!

[@gargamellenoir8460]

In the Onion's world, kids fall for a bunch of spooky books. In the real world, adults fall a lot harder for a 4chan troll post.

[@YellowPenis]

I'm guessing you don't use 4chan, or if you do you're just a tourist from r*ddit.

[@sameldridge9302]

'The zionist who cried holocaust' XD

[@Jacob-hr2vf]

Oy vey

[@majikss]

@@PunishedSnake88 uh oh

[@the1ne6ix9ine]

That book made me laugh

[@aidanknisch1996]

Punished Pepe A little far

[@lanciastratos2625]

@@PunishedSnake88 oh boy

[@voiceofreason1663]

Alex jones should make the book maybe he'd get more funding for infowars

[@zaboza2011]

Cat of Truth DON'T.. give him any ideas..

[@facepalmrblx1590]

Neko c The lake that TURNED THE FRICKING FROGS GAY

[@drakoinx]

I keep seeing the frog quote but its so off. Man first time i saw alex jones was in waking life and like 10 years later i found him. Hes an interesting guy look up waking life alex jones. A respectable rant as opposed to crazy.

[@Hylianmonkeys]

@@drakoinx his lawyer said he plays a character on his show. So you are probably right.

[@StarWarsAddict527]

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

[@dontlikesand1955]

My brother's favorite is 'The DNC Director who knew too much'; it's pretty much all he talks about with his friends and on message boards online.

[@SJNaka101]

Andy Brenner how about The Spooky Secret of the Pedo Pizza Parlor?

[@southrules]

SJNaka101 lol! republicans are fucking retards, I agree

[@ElectronerpProductions]

southrules Who said anything about republicans? Anyway, some of my favorite upcoming titles are: 'The Spooky Scientists of Salmon Creek' 'Watch Out For Witch Hunts' 'All The Presidents Are Lizards Except One' 'Jeremy Jones VS The Murderous Mainstream Media'

[@painkillerjones6232]

@@southrules Filthy liberal.

[@dondraper4438]

@@southrules They're all the same shit.

[@inspectorjavert8443]

This is what the Onion used to be before it was sold. I love the freeze frame jokes :D

[@sapointi]

@@skaluv wtf really

[@mesmith2526]

skaluv Wow. Didn’t even know until just now. Thanks for taking the time to answering the questions I was literally going to ask. Were they struggling financially before the take over? The powers that be probably weren’t fans of the truth behind their satire unfortunately.

[@araincs]

Oh well that explains why its so shit now

[@VeritableSmorgasbord]

“So shit” might be a slight exaggeration. “Tucker Carlson says all the white supremacists in America would fit into a stadium but tickets to TuckerCon won’t last” is a beautiful thing.

[@murrayshekelberg9754]

tucker carlson, the undercover gatekeeping zionist

[@CO2Junkie]

"My son used to hate to read. Now he's hold up in the basement with these Spooky Truth books all day and night."

[@nicholastrice8750]

"Seth Rich and the Wicked Witch" is also a really good one.

[@billyweed835]

The alternate universe where Alex Jones became a children's book authors.

[@raptin1595]

Is the next one about Jeffery Epstein and the magic “suicide”

[@Requiem100500]

The title is: "A man who did(n't) kill himself"

[@eltyjamessmith3482]

They're apparently making a documentary series, airing on the History Channel at midnight right after Ancient Aliens.

[@BobGymlan]

To be fair, the giant owl statue picks the next Presidential Candidate, not the next President.

[@centurionk6643]

Is the giant Owl AIPAC?

[@mateoramirez9003]

@Martin Luther here's some stuff thing stuff info.... kzbin.info/www/bejne/i6WndYCcgL6Zg8k

[@owomotaros7290]

How much for "It came from Tower 7"?

[@DannySullivanMusic]

I would actually pay money for it as well.

[@ananousous]

How much for the whole series?

[@petros_adamopoulos]

There's "Lord of the Rings: Two Towers" :)

[@AlexRejba]

$9.11

[@danmcdaid]

This seems to have been made after Porkin Across America. Which means, I'm gratified to say, that Jim Haggerty survived the horrific events of that show and had his humanity successfully restored

[@timopper5488]

I think he kept the pig heart as a souvenir of his trials, though.

[@danmcdaid]

@@timopper5488 that's a lovely thought

[@brianeych]

Jim is a trooper, one day we might be blessed with a docuseries on his path to becoming mostly human again.

[@Mor1adim]

@@timopper5488So you're saying Jim Lives Thanks To Heart Stolen From Dead Pig

[@Palmerater]

The craziest is the North Korean Gangnam style conspiracy, really look it up!

[@BlackbirdSJ]

Palmerater Not as crazy as the 1000 DEGREE KNIFE VS GIRLFRIEND CONSPIRACY

[@milascave2]

paul: It turns out that the guy who recorded "Gangnam style" really was a GANG MAN!

[@justfrankjustdank2538]

hello

[@eialzorn9284]

@@justfrankjustdank2538 hi

[@vergil5644]

@@justfrankjustdank2538 sup

[@qoyote]

I loved these when I was little, you can imagine how happy I was when my son's teacher assigned them last week! I'm so happy we're in Florida.

[@davidcleckley]

A lot of these older Onion videos have predicted real life. That's what makes them spooky.

[@matthew8153]

Predictive programming

[@bigcheese1061]

No it’s just that things haven’t changed all that much

[@TehSkullKid]

I remember reading "João and the curse of Kennedy," one of the older stories, back in middle school! What a classic series. Hope the movie doesn't suck.

[@DocPegLegRed]

The onion news, ironically, is the least bias news source in the country. Haha I love you guys

[@doggosuki]

used to be

[@mam362]

lol they are left biased like crazy

[@gregoryjackson852]

Theyve always leaned towards the left. Alot of things they say are inaccurate but theyre funny so i just leave my politics out of it and jusy have fun

[@dondraper4438]

@@gregoryjackson852 They weren't always that way. There was a time Onion news just went after anyone and everyone.

[@nitpicker9406]

The onion is not a news source, lol.

[@VanwolfsterLycan]

You're laughing. He's telling the truth and you're laughing.

[@023achilles]

And shortly after this, The Onion changed ownership. I'm guessing.

[@davidchapman7667]

2023. These books have really stood the test of time! Still so relatable and relevant all these years later. No wonder my kids can't find them on the shelves of their school's library.

[@TheDJKILLIN]

"The Zionists that cried holocaust" Hahahahaha

[@lukasaaron102]

Pretty good book but The Hebrews of Disney Dungeon was the scariest tbh

[@luciferangel8232]

Someone is drunk again! 😁

[@jamilmukhtar4619]

Little did we know, one of those Truther kids would grow up to start his own Truth social network. Truly inspiring

[@matthew8153]

I wish more children’s authors were this truthful.

[@WorshipInTruth]

"The Hebrews of Disney Dungeon." ahaha.

[@drollfurball2863]

Honestly.... these books sound interesting...

[@rachelmcdonough1506]

As a gulag operating zombie- umm I mean teacher, I’m at least glad kids are getting excited about reading! Too bad they don’t want to read our brainwashing materials- I mean assigned reading! Haha I’m so silly sometimes…

[@Gambit771]

If there were books like this for me to read when I was young. I could be a completely different person.

[@matthew8153]

Then you want to read None Dare Call it Conspiracy.

[@SoloGoodspeed]

Alex Jones meets R. L. Stine.......

[@BlissfulSl33p]

He is actually pretty good at reading out loud, and that Hannibal noise never fails to unnerve me.

[@jakepullman4914]

I'm wondering how that was written in the book....

[@justfrankjustdank2538]

"the plandemic" "the chinese infection" "the vice president" i could go on for so long

[@lexiemaep7930]

Rise of the Sheeple was super good! Very eye opening. It's my kids favorite❤

[@SuperStar-ss1pn]

The mataltic flames of California Was one of my favorite The climax with the army of drones scared the crap outta my pants

[@timopper5488]

“The Lurking Conspi-Racist” is the best in the series! It contains so much truth, that I couldn’t even trust what I was reading. Well done, Mr. Graves!

[@URightBut]

“They’re always lurking...like rats”

[@AbduCola]

The Onion found a way to tell truths while making it seem like a bit. Pretty impressive

[@matthew8153]

Mad TV did the same. They even had George Carlin guest star.

[@somuchsoul3041]

Lol like the fact that people believe such ridiculous ideas that they might as well be children horror books?

[@jtzr1371]

​@@somuchsoul3041sorry your parents didnt care about your education enough to get you these books

[@randyrankin682]

This series would be worth many millions as a franchise if someone actually did it.

[@LemonsRage]

A book where the main character has paranoia would be really intresting. Like she/he really thinks that all of the lizard people conspiracy theories are real. All her actions in the book cullminate to her trying to blow up the white house and when she/he succedes she/he get's hit in the head by a shrapnell and suddenly is cured and instantly understands what she did

[@froyocrew]

Yeah "paranoia"

[@fozzt]

There's a cartoon called Eliot Kid it's this boy who essentially has paranoia makes people/situations out to be terrible things and let's his imagination get out of hand.

[@lampyrisnoctiluca9904]

fight club?

[@knt3140]

"Include paid promotion" I checked. No other product placement. The books are real and they're hiding it from us.

[@ananthropomorphictalkinggo6641]

So this is is basically kindergarten before they go to PragerU?

[@SehnsuchtYT]

I like how there are a considerable amount of commenters who haven't realised that this is making fun of them

[@mrtortoise3766]

I like how there is a considerable amount of people who think that art style makes them unique

[@victoriadivina370]

@@mrtortoise3766 k red herring

[@oopsibrokethecow]

Now we call them QAnon

[@Chipiliro613]

You call books 'QAnon'?

[@Ruiluth]

0:42 I started looking for subliminal messages, was disappointed because that was a missed opportunity...

[@logangustavson]

I keep on finding Today Now! Videos to this day! I think to myself each time I watch one, "Damn, I FOR SURE saw them all know" them i find one just like this. So awesome

[@bruhmoment131]

"it came from tower 7 huge hit with elementary schoolers" got me laughing my ass off.

[@drewby4701]

It took me a long time to realize this was fake. I was wondering why the lady co-host was so cheesy

[@painkillerjones6232]

You do know Epstein's suicide was also fake, don't you?

[@BeyondGender]

"Don't use the libraries, they track what you read."

[@tyisamess]

This is even more relevant in 2021 😂

[@Lauren007E]

God damn not gonna lie when he said my name I froze for a second. Truly some 4th wall breaking stuff lol

[@unicornbarfingrainbows7599]

I really enjoy his newest book The Bat that was from China. My favorite part was when it was revealed the bat was created as a bio weapon for China to take over the world.

[@corey6536]

These have aged so well 💀

[@MidnightSouls]

Absolutely hilarious, we've all seen and recoiled from that side of youtube.

[@murrayshekelberg9754]

I hope the average good person wouldn't recoil from that.

[@garretfinch7745]

He did that Hanibal Lector move at the end.

[@TheVibes101]

"The zionist who cried holocaust" is probably my favourite lmao.

[@Gwyrddu]

Crap. He's woken up the sheeple. Run!

[@jakepullman4914]

Looking forward to his latest, "Donny Drumf and the Stolen Election." I hear it's got some of the same characters as "It Came From Planet Q."

[@PinkieRockStar878]

My personal favorites are "It Came From Tower Seven" and "Giddy Up, Blucifer!"

[@geisaune793]

My teacher Internet Comment Etiquette with Erik has been a devoted reader of these books for years! He's the one that got me hooked on reading them!

[@Cancellator5000]

Well, they sound alright. I hope none of them contain black people or their struggles. That would be too spooky for kids or adults.

[@rainingtigers9984]

I literally forgot this was the onion and actually believed this for a bit!

[@matlew1960]

I thought that the lizard people came from Mars.

[@thecyuber558]

"...Oh, and by the way, I am aware of the irony of appearing on TV to decry it, so don't bother pointing that out."

[@UglyAmerican1991]

im a big fan of "the election that cried wolf"

[@worldwanderer91]

OMG a parody of RL Stine's Goosebumps and conspiracy theories. My favorite Onion video so far. God I miss reading Goosebumps. Been so long since I read them.

[@EzEcHiEl1121]

one of the satires disclosing the most among the ones I've seen

[@thereisnosanctuary6184]

Some people ate this onion, and still didn't believe it was an onion.

[@sylph8005]

I like how half the people commenting here are who the vid makes fun of.

[@murrayshekelberg9754]

I'm not sure making fun of the people is the point of it.

[@sylph8005]

@@murrayshekelberg9754 Of course it is. It's satire

[@beastvicious8672]

@@sylph8005 It's fun becouse they're saying a lot of true statements, which sounds crazy to most people and you'd have to do research to know about it. which is why they're making fun of it. They're not just making fun of "conspiracies theories" but also of the people who has no clue about it. Shaking their head in disbelief, just going on with their day as usual.

[@sylph8005]

@@beastvicious8672 Most conspiracy theories aren't true

[@beastvicious8672]

@@sylph8005 Tell me which ones aren't true? I could probably give solid evidence for most of them. Like most of what they mentioned in the video.

[@cultleader6977]

So many of these are true !!

[@Mischa21xo]

Yeah but once again they have to hide the truth in plain sight and try to make a mockery out of it. Nothing new here

[@ScootyDonny]

which ones?

[@beastvicious8672]

@@ScootyDonny All of them. Maybe except the owl one. Although owl does hold some symbolism for satanists.

[@catsmokingcigarette]

Actually none of them are true EXCEPT the owl one

[@drakoinx]

Id kill to get a beer with jim but i could see him just doing his character the entire time.

[@thebetterplace4870]

"Doesn't even want tap water anymore"

[@barb2793]

LOL

[@Justin_Joy]

"my teacher's a zombie when it comes to trusting the media" *English teachers in a nutshell*

[@psychokannibal]

There's a guy named David Ickle that writes books like these and takes them seriously.

[@LovecraftianToenail]

ngl I'm impressed with how much the writer of this sketch knows about conspiracy culture, especially considering when it was written. Not many people were talking about Bohemian Grove back when this thing came out.

[@finetun3d]

This is so brilliant! Pure genius!

[@YungLeechi]

"the hebrews of disney dungeon." haha

[@applesandoranges6248]

Well this sure is becoming more and mor relevant as time goes on.

[@temwananinkana3419]

Drop out of school , they are filling you with lies. 😂😂😂😂

[@robertjohnson4301]

New book just released: The Covid vaccine: Graphene Oxide in a bottle!

[@misojimo2154]

Q anon was inspired by this episode of the onion

[@jorgeleon2960]

Funny thimg is that he uses known creepypasta like the draco constellation. Cool author

[@RpiesSPIES]

That very last line was perfect xD

[@dorkinabubble7772]

That Bohemian Grove tho- some kinda craps going down there. Even if it is just a rich sex club, there’s something bad lurking in those woods.

[@discordlexia2429]

People lump all conspiracy theories into one category so the silly ones will distract from the blatantly accurate or highly plausible ones.

[@centurionk6643]

True that. By throwing in the stupid stuff ,they try to discredit the truth about the real ones.

[@Midnight_Rain_Wolfgang-Telos]

The joke is that it literally takes a child's mind to believe in these conspiracy theories. lul