Practical Steps to Waiting Until Marriage

"I want to save sex for marriage - but how do I go about doing that?" In this video I share this question from a young woman and 4 steps that are helpful to take when committing or re-committing to saving sex for marriage. Here's the blog I reference in the video: emwilsonmusic.com/blog/2016/4/...

[@hannahbrand3694]

I made the decision to save sex for marriage when I was 15. When I was younger I wasn’t made fun of. When I got older and started working, I was made fun of a lot. They biggest thing they always said. How do you know it’s good sex? My answer, because I will have nothing to compare it to. I saved myself for my husband. Best decision I ever made.

[@jadenmontesdeoca7065]

“It is still worthwhile to live out chastity.” YES! ❤️

[@marieclairelebel]

As long as I was single, I actually found it very easy to wait, as I was never interested in sex outside of a relationship. So when I started dating, I didn't think the temptation would come so quickly. We didn't even kiss until we were 8 months into our relationship, but the temptation to always just go a little further was there much earlier. In the end, we did manage to wait until we were married, but I had to remind myself often along the way that having sex then wouldn't only be failing my commitment, but also failing *his* commitment.

[@MissAdamLambert888]

27, saving sex for marriage, NOT religious - yes, a beautiful value that can transend religion itself imo 🙏⚘

[@KWatsonMUSIC]

Me too!! :D

[@kaylinbraun1884]

I messaged you a while ago (probably about a year ago) about saving sex for marriage but being pressured by some of the closest people to me. You responded in such a beautiful way! You are truly an amazing person. Well...a few months ago, I was taken advantage of and lost my virginity. I was broken, felt used & horrible about myself. I went into a deep depression and am just slowly coming out of it. It was something so sacred to me & for it to be ripped away in a matter of minutes broke me. I definitely want to recommit myself and leave the past in the past. I am a better person for leaving that situation and regaining my knowledge in my self worth. Thank you so much for all of your inspirational videos. There should be more people like you in this world!!

[@giannabrunet]

You’re catholic?! Awesome. I was born and raised Catholic and my faith is the greatest gift I’ve ever received! :)

[@emwilss]

Yes I am!

[@tfpradgirl9537]

You should do a video on reasons why chastity is worth it.

[@lindsey5365]

I'm Catholic, 31 saving myself for marriage. God prepared me for 6 years how HE wants me to be as a woman for my husband. It is hard especially since I've never been in a relationship, but I hope my testimony and purity inspires younger people.

[@yendinh4064]

I don't know what it's like in America, but in my country, people change their cars pretty much, like once every few months. So when someone use the "test the car before you buy" excuse I just roll my eyes. 👀 I think a lot of people know they should wait, but it's so hard they can't resist the temptation. I'm very awared of this, so now when I'm still single I write my future self letters warning about physical attraction, how should I interpret it, what should I do with it, and remind why I chose to wait. Then when I date someone, I will read it everyday to ensure I won't do anything I would regret later. Emily, I'm so fortunate to find your locely channel. You give me hope in love and marriage! I will pray for you and your family. Love you

[@rachelle_hdz36]

Emily can you do a video on encouraging women with disabilities that struggle with rejection and relationships. As i am one.

[@jessicabuchanan2867]

I need this too

[@skybishop5596]

As an 18 year old who is striving to save sex for marriage, this is a very reassuring video. I love the idea of making it tangible because chances are, it will make sticking with it just a bit easier. I know when I cross that bridge it will be so very challenging, but I'm excited to commit and wait so that I can experience sex as it was intended to be! Thank you for talking about these types of things. I feel like a lot of people in the church keep this kind of a hush hush topic. People really need to be aware of these things today with the mindset that the world has about sex.

[@TheGreensIndoorGolf]

Much needed video for todays youth! Love your content. God Bless!

[@emwilss]

Thank you, as always, my friend!

[@extra_ice_girl]

It's super hard having to make this decision at 36 after making major life changes. The decision itself wasn't hard it's all the comments I have to hear from others.

[@Brianna-yh7iy]

What were the boundaries you and Daniel set in place to stay pure before marriage?

[@dannicula2872]

She has already a video about that. "Setting boundaries in a relationship" i think

[@Hegetstheglory]

These conversations are lifechanging. I am so glad there are other ladies out there talking openly about all of this. I just created my own channel that will include some similar talks because we have this amazing outlet to share out faith!! So much love, chica!

[@andreadomo-ibea7078]

Emily, I needed to hear this, because I recently had someone hurt my feelings about this. I think I’d rather share this with you in an ig message than here.

[@charlottelee2148]

Thank you so much for this!! I committed to saving myself for marriage last summer but recently it has been something I have been struggling with and I feel like god keeps showing me videos like these to remind me why I made the decision in the first place. Love you and your videos they have helped me sooo much 💕

[@miamaguire6404]

Thank you so much Emily! I really really appreciate videos like this! I’m fifteen and I can already feel the pressures of what your talking about! I want so badly to keep this promise to myself and future husband but your right it is going to be overwhelming hard so anyone who is reading this please just pray for me and anyone else making this choice🙏🏻 it would be much appreciated!

[@MaryScarpati]

Practical advice on dating chastely is really helpful. This video is an answered prayer. Please make more videos about this. Thank you!

[@arilatest293]

I have never clicked a link so fast. Thank you for sharing this ❤

[@eileygrace1999]

to anyone wanting to wait, I would watch Milena Ciciotti’s videos about saving sex for marriage!

[@tjasa6843]

Today I was thinking about how much I miss your videos and here you come with the special one! Thanks!

[@emwilss]

Hey thanks so much!

[@lezigagrace9876]

I love how helpful and practical this channel is! It's definitely a good idea to actually write this out instead of just have it as a thought in the back of your mind.

[@emwilss]

I'm so glad. Thanks for your comment Leziga :)

[@lisaeshleman754]

i am someone who has re-committed to saving sex for marriage. growing up i had NO IDEA this was a thing!!! now that i am in the conversion process to catholicism and have an amazing holy, catholic boyfriend i have realized that more than anything i can think of, this is a two person job. if you set boundaries and the other person agrees but isn't wholeheartedly and passionately into keeping them, this journey will be nearly impossible,. you need to have many chastity conversations and lots of reassurance and support from your significant other. wish i knew that before dating a handful of ungodly men.

[@gwendolyno.3330]

Yay!! Welcome home ! Lots of prayers Lisa !❤❤

[@emwilss]

Well Praise! the Lord! Thank you for sharing.

[@rose-mg9wt]

ur the best bb and ur work never goes unappreciated. i love u soo much as youre saving so many people’s lives in this world as well as our afterlife ❤️

[@emwilss]

This comment made me smile. thank you :)

[@martinazivai]

I missed you a LOT! 🌹🌹🌹 Thank God I got to hear you again. Thank you for this video, loved it!

[@emwilss]

Hey thanks sistah!

[@lattesdarling]

Yess thank you for speaking about this!

[@megasurfer32]

Thank you for another amazing video Emily!

[@elizabethstephens8801]

Thanks Emily! I'm about to go to college so I know the struggle is about to get real. Please pray for me!!

[@katielinder771]

I almost had sex with a guy a couple weeks ago, and because of my purity pledge and my relationship with the lord, I felt awful. I felt so empty; I had to call and tell him that it wasn’t okay for me to be his “sex buddy” over the summer. He doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Don’t date someone outside of your faith.

[@20cgonzalez]

Your right! It makes it so much harder if you aren't both on the same page, and ya know how he won't talk to you anymore... what does that say about what he was looking for in the relationship?

[@sozibrahman8504]

Thank god you stopped at the right moment. I was wondering why you even considering sex with him because I see he was not even your bf.

[@cora_99]

I almost had sex in a really toxic relationship, too. And I felt really bad about it ; but someone reminded me that I'm still a child of God, a daughter of the King, and that how bad I felt I felt about meant that I'd really repented. I had to realize that even though I did a lot of things I definitely shouldn't have done, that I still have infinite self-worth that no one can take from me. So I really know what you mean. But just know - since you're genuinely sorry, God's already forgiven you, and He NEVER stopped loving you; even in the thick of your transgressions. He will always love you, and He's proud of you for still deciding to save sex for marriage :)

[@yasmine9046]

I have firmly made that decision and I pray God so that, as/if I date one day, I can live that choice with conviction and strenght. Thanks for your wiseness Emily, and lots of love from France (where I hope you had great holidays ;))

[@KarlaVArana]

Hello Emily, I have a hard time explaining why waiting until marriage is important and necessary. Do you have a good source with biblical explanations as well. Thank you! Love you! God bless!

[@dannicula2872]

4:50 I really need a video about that, so please, when you have time, make a real talk about it. Thank you for all you've done on this channel. It really changed my perspective about life!

[@sozibrahman8504]

Well the answer is simple. You tell your mom(or anyone) people who tests car before driving might lose interest on you because you're not the best car they ever drove, and they have a high chance of losing interest before they'll get bored with that car cause they had been bored with many cars before. More importantly why would anyone buy an used car(non Virgins) with the money of new car(by their own virginity) ??? Most importantly, you don't have to drive a car to test it's ability. You can just see the features even on internet ( you can just feel if you two will be sexually compatible or not just by common sense and communications)

[@nicolerodgers4751]

Amen! The reason is everything! More TOB for our young adults!!!!!!!

[@hannahjoerger5560]

thank you for these videos!

[@hollymarie235]

I love how you talked about criticism, especially from family members or people you may be really close to. This may be another topic you want to touch on in another video if you haven’t already.

[@kristinaflorez9345]

Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you!

[@girheakinna]

Love your driven sense of unwavering purpose and seeing how you stand up for yourself and others and don't care about the haters

[@emwilss]

Thanks girl :)

[@jadealexander8233]

Such a powerful speaker. Thank you Emily💕🙏🏽

[@Neverseenstars]

I've been in a murky zone with my faith lately. Was never able to get baptized as an adult ( i was a baby because my parents were culturally catholic but ummm..i was baby i didnt choose). I mostly thought about saving my virginity for practical reasons ( emotional stability because i have attachment issues, health reasons, not having kids out of wedlock, etc.) And when i started getting interested in Christianity around age 14 my reasoning stayed the same. It was not for God, it was for me and just me and god wasnt allowed in that area of my life so it led me to staying a virgin physically but not being pure and now im 21 and thinking about how i should deal with my lack of commitment to God and whether i can change or just stay this way. What it means to me. Im just scared of the consequences and thats enough to deter me for my 21 years and I have no desire to but sometimes I think even if I got married i would still feel anxious i would be abandoned and have face a lot of issues because of sex like pregnancy and stds if i get cheated on. Sex doesnt feel safe me and never has and maybe its because i grew up in an abusive marriage between my mom and dad.

[@taylormatthews5692]

This was a very good video and very well said. Thank you

[@kez165]

Thank you for making these videos!!! Please keep them coming

[@kawanabonafinisanches2383]

It's really hard.. and we must put our mind in to it.. I knew a guy, every thing was going fine untill he wanted sex. I told him about my faith, belief and choice.. he don't understood me, and tried to change my mind. In that point I saw where my heart was, and, thank God, I was (and I'm) sure about my commitment. I look back and thank God, because He give us the strength we need to walk in his way.

[@livwalker4100]

I. Absolutely. Love. Emily! She/you (if you’re reading this, Emily) has such an obvious passion for women and for loving us well, for giving women a beacon of wisdom in the thick of a whole lot of foolishness in the world. Thank you for always making relevant, informative, loving, and BOLD videos about womenhood❤️

[@emwilss]

Thanks for this comment Liv!!!! SOOOO APPRECIATED!

[@anamaldooli]

i would appreciate a video about practical steps to avoid the temptation of falling into an unchaste relationship once dating somebody

[@Ali-uw7bl]

People like you are the hope for human beings in the whole world for better life to come..

[@emwilss]

That is the sweetest thing. Thank you.

[@nicnotes]

Another amazing video 😍 is there any way to upload the audios of your videos in a podcast style? I would love to listen to them all while I'm driving!

[@emwilss]

My sister told me I need to do this too! I will look into it!

[@AnaLu07]

I'm 18 and i just started college...Those days some girls from my class were talking about sex outside the marriage as if it was normal,i really wanted to say i was a virgin and that i am going to marry as a virgin,but i was afraid of them don't want to talk to me anymore or to say that to a bad guy and he does bad things with me...Now i know i should've said,that would make my commiment even more real,and i don't care if they don't talk to me anymore,my purity is more important for me than any wrong friends,and my relationship with God is even more!!!

[@pridelandlions]

You give me so much hope. Thank you

[@emwilss]

I am so glad. This comment made me happy. Thank you.

[@manongbuchem]

God bless you emily

[@annan.9966]

If it was easy, everyone would be doing! It’s always worth the wait.

[@AshleySkyflier]

Great video! 😇

[@yairethcastro71596]

Im really glad you brought up people who may not necessarily be making fun of you for deciding to wait until marriage but bring up that idea of “you don’t buy a car before you test drive it”. I’ve had people make comments about how they want to make sure their compatible with that person because sex is an important part of a relationship and even though I have not regretted my decision to wait to have sex, it’s something that always bothers me. Just found your channel and your videos and I love them! Thank you 💕

[@emwilss]

Welcome to the party!

[@gle7isa]

I bought a car without test drive haha

[@emwilss]

Me too 😄

[@Sophie-kx8oz]

About 3 months ago my boyfriend left me after we did something that I totally regret now. For some reason I can't get over him and I don't know what to do. I am extremely ashamed of myself. Can anyone give me some advice on how to get over this relationship and how to move on? I would be extremely thankful if someone could share their experience God bless you💕

[@Davidjohnson-gq3ty]

Sophie • The only way is to face your fears and regrets head on and not run away from it. Also having people that love you such as family and friends sticking with you. it's hard but from my experience, there is no other way. And the most important thing is to forgive yourself. Best of luck

[@katetorgerson936]

Sophie • Hey Sophie :) This other video from Emily was really helpful...maybe it will give you some peace, too. ❤️ kzbin.info/www/bejne/qGmVfoR7eNmqq8k

[@Blah11Chickk]

Sophie • a prayer I was told to pray from someone I respect was, “Lord, you are God of my past, my present, and my future. I surrender it all to you” and to maybe pray with the idea of God making us “new creations” 1&2 corinthians and Isaiah are great for that!

[@GaylaBarrett]

Hey Sophie! I felt like God really pulled me in to reply to your comment because He wants to let you know a couple of things. First, lemme give you a little bit of information regarding my own life. I lost my virginity at a young age because I fell into temptation, a very serious relationship with no boundaries, and satan's own lies to me that it was something you do in a relationship and something that made me feel worthy. THIS IS A LIE. I would encourage you to read 1 Corinthians chapter 6 because there are several verses that talk about the impacts of having sex and what God says about sex. I am a single mother to an almost 2 year old boy, and I have never been more committed to waiting and saving myself for my husband. So why wait, what's the point? God Himself created sex and it is a beautiful thing, BUT He created it to be within the bonds of marriage. Did you know that sexual sin is the sin that God tells us to flee from? This is because it is literally bringing two people together to become one. When this is done outside of marriage (or any sexual act), you are creating a tie that was meant for your husband (or wife for any man that might read this). Sexual sin is a sin against our own body, which is supposed to be a temple for the Holy Spirit. With all that being said, there is forgiveness because we serve a wonderful, merciful God of a million chances. Ask Him to forgive you and lay this burden at His feet. He doesn't want you to have to carry this around because we weren't created to do so. He loves you and when the time is right, He will put a man in your life that will love and respect you the way a man was created to love his wife! We ALL fall short and no one is perfect, but there is always forgiveness when we ask and turn from our ways. Also one last thing: Don't allow satan to make you unworthy or be ashamed. Remember, he comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He will if you let him, but you just keep reminding yourself that YOU are a daughter of the King of kings and the Lord of lords! He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). I have to say no to this flesh and yes to Him every single day. He never said it would be easy, but if you lean on Him, He will give you strength and make your path straight! You ARE worthy, loved, and forgiven! (If God Almighty can forgive our sins, then who is satan to hold them over our heads?) God says He tosses them into the sea of forgetfulness and remembers them no more! I hope this helps you and encourages you! Keep your chin up, there are brighter days ahead! :)

[@tamikagonzalez509]

I LOVE YOUR VIDEOS!!

[@emwilss]

Tamika! Thank you!!!!!!!

[@chiarabirocchi1547]

Thank you Emily, love you! :)

[@Gapkid5]

Thanks for being real

[@emwilss]

Hey thanks for appreciating the realness!

[@allisoncampbell3625]

Can you do a video on people who have experienced being raped/sexually assaulted, but still want to stay chaste after experiencing something that traumatic?

[@normbeattie3547]

Emily, this is a clearly expressed understanding of what God our Creator expects of us, who are made in his image to reflect his holiness and glory. Don’t ever give in to anything in life that springs from the Evil One, regardless of the pressures from the world around us... Norm Beattie. B.A., Cert. Teach. B.Min., Grad. Dip. Min., Sydney, Australia.

[@Luci924t]

Emily you are amazing!!!

[@16handsoffunfunfun]

can you do a video on purity during engagement?

[@katiee5903]

Thank you thank you Emily for this video!!!!

[@HanaMarigmen]

YES❤️

[@veronica.theswamphag]

I'm Catholic and I am "saving myself" but I'm not sure what for... like I know the bible says that sex should be between a husband and wife but there is nothing other than this one rule that makes me want to wait until marriage. My personal values are leaning to just waiting for a boyfriend or fiancé... I guess what I mean is I dont want to, I feel like I HAVE to and feeling like I have to do something has never made me not do it for very long if I personally think it's okay... it's not to do with what anyone else thinks, that has never been a part of it. It's that *I* dont really think it's a very important thing... do you know what I mean? I guess I want to want to, but I dont.

[@violetmusic4145]

Another advice I would give is talk about goals that you want to accomplish with your SO while you’re dating. That way you’ll have more non-sexual things to do together!

[@rockmintswirl5616]

What I'm waiting for is when I do get a boyfriend and take him to a family party. I don't know if they would ask me questions about saving sex for marriage, but if we are also saving our first kiss for our wedding day, which I have thought about doing. It will be interesting if kissing comes up in conversation and to see their reactions, if we would chose to save our first kiss for our wedding. Also, does anyone have any advice/experience with saving your first kiss until marriage? Thanks for reading! ~ Rockfeather

[@saprissa9]

I'm kind of disappointed. I'm a 35 year old Male who wants to get married. I finally found a church. I go to the adult meeting and it seems like everyone is divorced 😑😑😑😑😑😑. My God. I'm getting old. I'm not married and half of the group meeting is divorced. I don't wanna go through that. I want to stay with my partner until death do us apart. And these are people that seem to be more educated and more mature than I am. What hope do I have???

[@magisterhpp]

Well according to St.- Paul it is *the better* choice to stay single (like him) in this world. If the Holy Sprit is with you, you will (though *alone* ) never be *LONELY* and in urgent need of a spouse. Also in Heaven there is no marriage. Why should there be?

[@emilykelly2815]

God has a special path just for you & if you can listen & follow it, you will definitely be fulfilled. God will not be outdone in generosity. Hope that gives you a little bit more hope!!

[@stefffie78]

I 100% agree that sex outside of marriage is a sin and made that commitment a million years ago. But when you say it's "worth it" that's hard to hear. Because what if you never get married? That's just sad. I know so many virgins in their 30s and 40s who are just going to be sad forever. Including myself. I guess it's worth it not to sin but other than that....??????????

[@ren9955]

Sex isn't the end all be all of life. People can live a fully satisfying and God-honoring life without having sex. Not getting married and not having sex doesn't mean someone will be "sad forever"

[@Neverseenstars]

Not everyone is meant to be married. And its not just about not sinning its about God, but like if you dont think thats a good enough reason no one is stopping you??? Its a voluntary choice that has consequences in your life just like how having a sex life can lead to STD'S and Pregnancy outside of marriage, potentially being a single mother etc. Thats good enough for me honestly. I know several people who have HIV and are single mothers. people are like "thats worst case scenario" but like i KNOW these people and I see how they suffer from having sex outside of marriage and im not gambling my life away for a penis??

[@aramintawilliams5205]

People with sexual past/ experience have it easier in relationships in my opinion.

[@emwilss]

interesting. What brings you to that conclusion?

[@aramintawilliams5205]

Emily Wilson because some people don’t want date someone who doesn’t have experience or let alone wants to save it for marriage because they realize they’re not going to be getting anything so they just run away instead actually taking the time to listen to what the person has to say. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I’ve been there it’s sucks

[@emwilss]

I understand your frustration! So much! Firstly, it's better that those men run away if their priority is really to just "get something." But I think word choice is important here. I think it's fair to say that people who choose not to live chastely have an easier time finding people to date. That's certainly true. But I don't think it's true to say that people with sexual past/experiences have it easier in relationships.

[@aramintawilliams5205]

Emily Wilson it seems that way though 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Neverseenstars]

@@aramintawilliams5205 thats why you dont date someone who isnt also saving their virginity...

[@OfficialCrystalSings]

Thank you for this video! While I am Catholic, I do love that you open up your conversations to people who aren’t!

[@emwilss]

Well thanks very much!