Practical Tools for Improving Empathy

This is an excerpt from our People School office hours. I want to chat with you about a topic that's close to my heart: empathy. I see empathy as the superpower of understanding and feeling another person's emotions. It's all about picking up on the vibes in a room and being able to predict how someone might be feeling.
So, here's the thing - I truly believe that curiosity is the secret sauce to unlocking empathy. When we approach others with genuine curiosity, amazing connections can happen. I'll walk you through the art of active listening and mirroring words, which can help you create deeper connections with people.
People School is the perfect place to learn how to enhance your empathy and master your people skills goals. I love answering questions just like this one!
Learn more here: scienceofpeople.com/pschool
In this video:
0:25 - Defining Empathy
1:49 - Empathy as a Super Skill
2:24 - Difference between Emotional Intelligence and Empathy
4:07 - Making Empathy Practical
4:32 - Being Curious
6:25 - Listening for Trigger Words
7:55 - Mirroring Words and Emotions
7:57 - Mirroring Body Language
8:31 - Asking Level Three Questions
9:00 - The Power of Level Three Questions
18:14 - Key Points on Empathy
19:56 - Curiosity as a Path to Empathy
21:51 - Finding Anchor Stories
22:09 - The Importance of Anchor Stories
22:55 - Having a Purpose for Empathy
******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. My name is Vanessa Van Edwards, and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (www.scienceofpeople.com/capti..., Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (www.scienceofpeople.com/cues/), and creator of People School(www.scienceofpeople.com/peopl....
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted, or forgotten again.
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: www.scienceofpeople.com/train...
******
PS - Join the conversation on social!
☞ Facebook: / vvanedwards
☞ Twitter: / vvanedwards
☞ Instagram: / vvanedwards

[@ScienceOfPeople]

People School is the perfect place to learn how to enhance your empathy and master your people skills goals. I love answering questions just like this one! Learn more here: scienceofpeople.com/pschool

[@8randomprettysecret8]

I don’t have money to afford “people school”

[@ImmortalGirl]

I love how shes excited to explain these

[@ScienceOfPeople]

❤

[@nandinidash3195]

Real sympathy is rare these days. thanks for having a discussion on this.

[@anc6023]

Vanessa and Scott, thank you very much for answering my question and highlighting it in KZbin. This helps me understand the semantics of the meaning of empathy, and the realization there is a difference between empathy and EQ. You have provided me with more clarity on what my strength is and what I need to work on more. Thanks again.

[@ScienceOfPeople]

You are so welcome, Al! Thank you for the fabulous question.

[@mayasmith9869]

New follower 🎉 I need help in my communication skills and obviously my empathy! Lolol thank you!!

[@pharmclare]

Well explained. People school is great to consider/participate

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you! ❤

[@DillyDallyLove]

Loved it! Continue spreading empathy! Subscribed!

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Thank you for being here! ❤

[@TheUrbanEpicure]

As a grandiose narcissist, I have zero empathy, but I am never confused. I can always and easily tell what emotion(s) other people are feeling - I have to, how else am I supposed to manipulate them and exploit their emotions? When listening to people, it is easy to respond in a way that suggests I care and mirror their emotions. Bottom line: Empathy is not needed to dispel confusion. It is easily simulated, but it is useful to gain peoples' sympathy and trust.

[@pazuzil]

I'm not a psychologist, but you sound like a psychopath/sociopath?

[@frankdelahue9761]

Lack of empathy has to do with high testosterone levels, which is hormone that suppresses empathy. It is a warrior hormone that makes you callous enough to kill someone in war for example.

[@TheUrbanEpicure]

@@frankdelahue9761 You misspelled 'brave enough' there. But that makes sense, explains why my muscles are so big and my semen so fertile. Testosterone for the win!

[@frankdelahue9761]

@@TheUrbanEpicure kzbin.info/www/bejne/Zp2ygaeKl6t2g7s

[@frankdelahue9761]

@@pazuzil There are lot of similarities between narcissists and psychopaths. It is easy to misperceive a psychopath as a narcissist.

[@PeterParker-ff7ub]

how curious is the right amount?

[@m33t_facexxx86]

Happy Valentine’s Day Vanessa oohhh yah lol

[@JerzJ90]

Hello Vanessa 🖐🏽, I am wondering when you are going to create more videos of decoding. Perhaps reunions of reality shows, leaders in todays world, you & your husbands idols, or even my hero shark thanks very own, kevin o'leary. Being high in competence, your videos has been appreciative & proficient. Onwards, -Jerzee

[@ScienceOfPeople]

Hi Jerzee! Thank you for this suggestion - I will definitely keep this in mind going forward. Thank you for your continued support!

[@HobbesNJoe]

So the secret is getting other people to talk about themselves.

[@UCanBuildThis]

100% yes. People love to hear themselves talk. I learned this from reading the book “never split the difference” by Chris Voss. I’ve read it 3 times and have practiced its techniques for years now. It is one of my top 5 most influential books in my life. I love it because his teachings work hand-in-hand with Vanessa’s.

[@frankdelahue9761]

Anthropologists Helen Fisher said that empathy is in the Estrogen and Oxytocin system.

[@ShanaTurner3]

Who is the guys sitting with you?

[@ScienceOfPeople]

My husband and business partner =)

[@JerzJ90]

Have been* pardon me.

[@8randomprettysecret8]

No one would like to be my friend anymore I’m an outsider and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

[@ScienceOfPeople]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way... you are definitely not alone in feeling like an outsider. I'll link a couple article below that may help ❤ www.scienceofpeople.com/best-friendship-apps/ www.scienceofpeople.com/make-friends/

[@ZelfOntwikkelingDienstbaarheid]

I have to STRONGLY disagree with you here. With empathy it is about the other, it is not a trick to get what you want. With empathy you see the pain of the other, you feel the pain of the other and you live the pain of the other. And hopefully you can find together a way out of the pain. But even if that is not possible, by sharing the pain of the other, you will lighten the burden of the other.