6 Ways The Silent Treatment Is Harmful

[@datboi6954]

1. It dehumanizes the other person 1:23 2. It emotionally manipulates the other person 2:01 3. It denotes rejection 2:29 4. It instills self esteem issues. 3:08 5. It produces physical pain 3:39 6. it destroys relationships 4:02 I hope I could help! :D

[@seineevee]

Thanks!

[@thamous906gamz4]

Thanks

[@moldyseulgi7167]

thank you!

[@sachikobroomfield316]

Love

[@raghadahmed3680]

You did help thank you!

[@okkelly6207]

it’s so frustrating and painful... a lot more than when someone is just yelling mean things at u

[@eletgres519]

im the type of person that can get pissed and even harmful to a person when they would give a silent treatment to me. >:(

[@Delta-kt4gj]

@@eletgres519 then your might want to reconsider which one of your are in the right because its not you

[@miadarling4804]

@@raz5003 Since when is becoming aggressive good? Or, harmful? That is not appropriate, either. They're in the wrong, as well.

[@User4o3p93ghvjkaehvji]

Yes. I agree silent treatment is damn worst ever! Very inhuman! . It's dumb ass! 💩

[@Delta-kt4gj]

@@raz5003 there is a difference between speaking your mind, and harming someone for refusing to talk to you

[@tylerjoeholtrust9215]

It’s the most emotionally painful thing I have ever felt

[@katherineh9814]

Absolutely. Had 51 years of it from my mum.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

It's like being encased in ice in a world alone.😢

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

Me too.​@@katherineh9814

[@HIXHAM]

Don’t let the emotions bottle up - figure out another way to communicate & understand how the other person likes to communicate

[@cd5968]

If ONLY everyone thought like that 😞

[@gossamercross20]

When you try that people repeat the same mistakes or try to brush it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist there's 2 ways as the person being brave enough to communicate the person either doesn't care what they said to you vs actions or they know the truth would mess up a flow they have going on such as gossiping or lying or creating a image of another that others believe in that isn't really them and you being the one to expose it for the bigger picture and bring it to the light you made yourself enemy number 1 they may talk big about communication or agreeing with about being real and the second it's time for them to act on their words it's either silence or taken as a threat

[@pixxL_]

so am i supposed to break down and cry right now

[@thatonewatercat]

A friend I had didn’t talk to me for 8 months. No explanation, no reason, no fight beforehand to give me a possible reason why it happened. It hurt a lot, because i had no idea what I did wrong. They just avoided me and blocked me so I couldn’t even ask why. Turns out they were having problems of their own, and they didn’t mean to hurt me. I got a very sincere apology, and I’m trying to mend the friendship little by little, but it still hurts every now and then. The silent treatment is worse than a fight, because it seems to last forever and you don’t know what happened, so if you are mad at someone, walk away, take a breath, and talk to them again when you are ready. The friendship will thank you later. 🙃

[@calanthiarose]

Same thing happened to me. Suddenly we were back in each others life and then almost a year later they did it again. No closure. It was the week of 9/11. The country got bombed. My young cousin died. My grandmother died. Another cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer. Another cousin was virtually trapped on Long Island and could barely call home let alone come home while her husband and father-in-law both police were helping out in the city. My company I worked for started letting all of us go from our job. It was Hell and I left her a ton of messages and...nothing. It's been 20 years and I saw her once and she glared at me like I was a pariah or something. I have no idea what her issue is but that's the whole point of it. To make me feel bad, to make me obsess over her and to never, ever, ever resolve this and have closure. She really did a number on me.

[@hel2727]

...thank you. I really needed to hear this. now I know a bit better how people felt when I did this. It sounds painful. I hope you can still stay friends and maybe if you'll get through this your relationship will become stronger ✨

[@thatonewatercat]

@@calanthiarose oh god I am so sorry that all of that happened to you! I hope you are doing better now, no one deserves to deal with all of that😔

[@popgas3821]

Been going through the same thing rn.

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

I have a friend who is experiencing a similar situation right now with another one of her friends. Typically, a person’s behavior is more due to their own struggle more than it has to do with the person that they are taking space from. Try not to be too hard on yourself or take it too personally when this happens. I know that it can be easier said than done. People aren’t mind readers, but can often create stories/reasons in their mind that can negatively impact their emotional health. It is a good idea to believe the best, unless communicated otherwise.

[@rochelleleung8680]

I remember there was a time when my ex used the silent treatment on me for weeks. I asked him to tell me what I did wrong, tried to be as calm as possible, but he said nothing. I started to doubt my own sanity and eventually broke it off with him because I got too depressed and anxious. Honestly, it's one of the worst experiences in my life.

[@brownyuio]

I’m there right now with an ex as well. I spent the last month feeling beyond anxious, depressed, and full of self doubt - trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong (if anything).

[@michellemensah7743]

I'm abit at that crossroads my gf is doing that right now and it's really mentally agonising

[@kelseyh0924]

I dated someone for 8 months then brought up something that I was concerned about and he shut down. I waited three months for a response before breaking it off. Thought if I was just calm and patient I would eventually get an answer. I didn’t and it f-ed up my mind so badly for a long time. Took me a long time to process and make sense of it all. If they can’t dignify you with an answer within a two week span maximum (depending on how long you have been together) then they are not worth your time and effort. I learned that the hard way and I hope my advice can save at least one person from that anguish. I wouldn’t wish that pain upon my worst enemy.

[@fuzzylester]

I’m going through this right now. It will be two weeks of silence tomorrow. I have an exit plan, and I’m leaving in the fall, but it’s so hard because I still love her. I made so many excuses for her behavior, but I can’t be in denial about this one.

[@LagTag96]

@@fuzzylesterI hope it works out for you. My ex gave me the silent treatment for a week over a misunderstanding on her part. I ended things & blocked her for my sanity I can’t take the constant fights anymore.

[@01Devanshii01]

Amount of hurt and self doubt it causes to the person on the receiving end is just so painful. For days you cant concentrate on anything but overanalyzing every action or conversation and keep thinking is this relationship/friendship so fragile and cant they sense the pain it will cause me not talking to them. Such a horrible thing to do to someone especially over minor things.

[@lolalina_]

The difference between silent treatment or when somebody takes his/her time Somebody who takes his time will come to you after some hours or maybe 3 days but often will explain it to you at the beginning of the relationship or after the first incident Somebody who does the silent treatment.. Ignores you .. And gets satisfaction when you are in pain And gets angry when you don't seem bothered that's silent treatment.. They have the energy to ignore you purposefully while somebody who takes his time has no energy for anything than the progressing of the problem/situation and tries to go inside The difference is.. The first needs time and trusts in you and your relationship The second is entitled and cant take the time to sort things out in their head so they immediately project their problems onto you

[@0Iive]

Tlnr

[@athenadraws7703]

How is this comment a week old?

[@lcvelydaph]

@@athenadraws7703 time travel💃

[@athenadraws7703]

@@lcvelydaph nice yumeko pfp 🤗✨

[@lcvelydaph]

@@athenadraws7703 ty!

[@darksoul479]

It hurts, but eventually it wears off. It can take a long time, but it will happen. In the end it will all be for the best. People that are cruel enough to do the silent treatment don't belong in our lives. The key is once someone gives you the silent treatment and you're finally feeling better do not let them back into your life! If you do you will have to start the whole process over eventually. That person will not change.

[@DiabolusCiel]

The silent treatment is what tore my last relationship apart. He would always do this to me.. and then, when I finally had enough of it and left, he still kept it up, saying nothing at all. Hope his pride makes him happy.

[@jetblack-0]

The silent treatment hurts me more than someone hating me honestly.

[@LittleSuzi86]

Yes that’s how I feel😢

[@jajajiji8447]

Same is the worse way to treat someone I rather get scold at rather than being silent out without a reason worse still is so dehumanizing

[@maxobino2753]

My mother did this to me repeatedly since I was a child. If I said anything that she might find upsetting, she would give me the silent treatment for days. Most of the time I wasn't even aware of what I had done to upset her.

[@amiblack8294]

same here; she did it a lot around the holidays after her dramatic declaration that we kids "ruined her CHRISTMAAAAAAS"....we were left shaking our heads a lot in that house :(

[@katherineh9814]

Same. Experiencing a ST now. Had 51 years of them. I’m close to being done with the relationship.

[@asianpanda253]

My dad would always give me the silent treatment. He would talk bad about me like I'm not even there and pretend that I dont even exist. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else, cause that freaking hurts...

[@benedettaragagni6821]

Unfortunately you’re not alone buddy, I know it’s painful but in my opinion a parent who does this to their kid should not be considered as such. Parents need to gain their child’s trust and love, not demand them and then destroy their self esteem...

[@DroDro3]

it does to me

[@shreya4024]

It happens to me too . But now I'm trying not to get hurt by it .....

[@ADcrackerjack]

Well. Better not having a father, like me 😢💪.

[@qai6753]

It still happen to me too. He ignored me out of nowhere. I hope you'll be okay..

[@7_Siete]

That's how I cut off a friendship, because I've got the silent treatment from him every time. No issue was ever discussed, he'd just plant a wall. Eventually, I got tired of dealing with a child, and I was hurt badly in the process of realizing I wasn't the only one wrong, he was wrong too.

[@lindokuhlejele4627]

And how bcz you express everything they say nothing and it makes you feel like a bully so y walk on egg shells and when someone won't even put up a fight about anything, it makes you feel like they don't care.

[@JianimalGaming]

Didn't know the silent treatment can be so damaging. I thought it would be better than saying something I might regret later on but maybe it shouldn't go on for more than a few minutes. Thanks for this:)

[@Psych2go]

Glad this video helped!!

[@casmartin790]

That's what I've learned to do: say that I'm not speaking as I'm mad or upset and may say something I don't mean or that I might later regret. It's a much healthier way to deal with the issue and if the other person is able to see your efforts of trying to maintain healthy communication lines, they should only respect you more x

[@ChristopherJohnJackson]

I've been on receiving end of the Silent Treatment and it was painful, I just move on and forget about that person because it not just healthy.

[@danphantom2583]

The last person I dated constantly did this even after I told them how I felt about it. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it can really mess you up. I will never allow this to happen to me again.

[@thee_earl]

I can relate :(( but then I learned that he has avoidant attachment style so I forgave him

[@fromdoormattoflyingcarpetw407]

Same

[@mohanashewalkar8598]

Silent treatment is extremely manipulative. If someone is giving you silent treatment the best way to deal with them is let them be. Once they realise that you are not going to give them the attention they crave, either they will start talking to you or they will let you be. If the first thing happens you will sort out what happened and live on, if the second one happens you will get rid of a person who doesn't value your relationship. My mother use to give me silent treatment a lot. I told her next time you are angry with me tell me specifically or If you give me silent treatment for it, we will never talk again. And she stopped giving me silent treatment thereafter. If friends give me silent treatment. I just stop talking with them. Have suffered a lot in my childhood because of this attitude. Not anymore.

[@KupoKaachan]

The problem is that I don’t want my partner to let me be when he gives me the silent treatment :(

[@fjorddenierbear4832]

Hmm, could you please give an example of your mother giving you the silent treatment? I had a chat with my mother where I did perhaps make some general statements that could be interpreted as being anti-feminist, although not my intention, and i also made some statements that may suggest I did not have faith in the agricultural products being sold in our particular European country. Then I told her some funny stories about a friend, and she generally didn't react. I guess maybe she didn't know what to react with. Then she told me she's tired or something, but she's the one who called me 20-30 minutes early. It seems that when I'm in a good mood and had some coffee and such, I am less careful about which things I talk about. But it's like, if you cannot talk about anything other than the most mundane shit, meh, that is kinda lame. And I don't exactly know where the line is, what line I crossed. After the convo I felt bed for a while and reflected on it. For a moment I wanted to never talk to her again, now I am more leaning towards just not talking about anything non-trivial. I probably give her kind of a silent-treatment at times too, so maybe the severity is not that high compared to what you have endured.

[@jooonniiieee535]

My mother giving me a silent treatment is the most worst traumatization I have ever felt🙂

[@imran4968]

This is why when I see my toxic ex at the gym I don't give her the time of day despite her efforts to try and get my attention and literally hover around me during my entire workout. But she put herself in that position so I don't have an ounce of remorse as she started playing games so I left her which honestly hurt me to do but sometimes you have to let go of the things you love in life to move forward.

[@katriannelee5720]

I always received silent treatment when i was still a child up until now the difference now are i'm not crying silently anymore. I feel like i'm dense now and kinda used to it. I also realize that i am now also using silent treatment to others. :(((( It makes me feels bad.

[@shreya4024]

Same here .

[@danivalonga5233]

same here

[@Tarotcooks]

🙏

[@acl__liren8623]

Same but I still silently cry

[@ateasesounds4246]

Same here

[@onti__veros]

Repeated silent treatment has been one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life.

[@rosemaryclarke2348]

There's no feeling, no anything and you wonder what you've done wrong now.

[@prescillastoyanova]

I was married for 10 years to a person who’d do the silent treatment to me very often, usually for days and even weeks. At the end of our relationship, after multiple therapists and self help books I finally had the strength to tell him that what he is doing is hurting me deeply and he said “Good. It means it’s working!”

[@andifishgallery9400]

That’s really hurtful god, I’m so sorry you were with someone that cruel, my best wishes to you

[@viobeltran1675]

This is accurate. I'm emotionally drained right now, I do not know what to do anymore. It has been going on for almost a week now. The only thing that keeps me going is my 4-year-old daughter. I feel like I cannot explain myself and am completely useless. It's hurting me to the core. I do not want to feel this anymore. :(

[@bleachedout805]

I write myself a letter of what I want to say to the other person and I don't write it thinking of them responding. I write like they are silently focusing on my words. The letter isn't about connecting to them but disengaging from the feeling of needing their approval to make closure for myself. You have your child and you'll have adults to talk to as well if you really want that. You aren't worthless just because someone has a shitty way of handling conflict. Try the letter thing and if you really want it heard read it at an open mic poetry event.

[@stormstudioproductions9860]

My parents were giving me the silent treatment for many years. There were times when my parents didn't talk to me for a week or two. During this time, my parents didn't tell me "Take care" before school, nor welcomed me when I got back home. They totally shut me out of their mind.

[@BrandenPratt]

The silent treatment is used by cowardly, covertly narcissistic, passive aggressive, bitter people who see this tactic as a way to make themselves look like the bigger person while simultaneously abusing the other party.

[@mentalhealthmotivation7802]

I have been guilty of the silent treatment and been a recipient of it, it is not a great feeling a tell you that. I would say only use it if it helps you calm down for a couple of minutes before you express your feelings to the other person.

[@ztruth7792]

Not silent treatment but silence instead then come back to the conversation at a later time

[@curtistinemiller4646]

Sometimes,the silent treatment is necessary ,especially around Abusive people ,talking to them leads to more rejection and pain..

[@kadambariprasad208]

Yeah this is exactly what I was thinking. The silent treatment was the only way to cope with my emotionally abusive parent. Any words would be used against you.

[@loesberghs2001]

Then it’s not silent treatment. Silent treatment is not a reaction to abuse. You disengaging from someone hurting you is just you cutting ties and setting a boundary. Silent treatment is a passive aggressive form of (often manipulative) communication, which usually happens when someone can not healthily communicate their emotions, not because they are being abused. It can be a result of an argument, but also simply from being overwhelmed or feeling hurt/offended by something the other person did. The big difference is that people who apply silent treatment often don’t want to/dare to communicate about their emotions, causing the other person to feel pressured to come back and apologise. It’s really a world’s difference from what you are describing.

[@loesberghs2001]

Also I do want to add that there are forms of abusive relationships in which the victim starts applying silent treatment simply because the abuser does. It is quite common but still not the victims fault.

[@lilleethomson]

​@@loesberghs2001I do the silent treatment w everyone. Not something I'm proud and js realised it comes under narcissism ngl . I use ghosting also , they also do the same to me , but I should work on myself . Idk what to do , I feel like going to a therapist

[@fjorddenierbear4832]

​@@lilleethomson You probably feel very fearful that if you say what's on your mind, they may reject you. I ghost people who are always asking me for favors who never seem to understand that I do not exist to do them favors all the time. It's hard for me to have a serious talk, they should take the hint. I think often the silent treatment is not exactly deliberate or intended as pure sadism or punishment. Sometimes I have felt that I cannot possibly answer a question, so I end up giving the silent treatment. These things are not hammered in stone.

[@FumetsuGetsu]

Parents disciplining their children: *"I don't see the problem here"*

[@jjjjblahblah]

FumetsuNoSenshi my mom hasn’t talked to me in four days :(

[@levisupremacy]

@@jjjjblahblah me too , from friday 5th to tuesday 9th . the longest shes gone without talking to me was a week and a half eventhough we live in the same house :( hope you're okay though

[@5am-yj5fw]

@@jjjjblahblah it's been 2 months. Is she talking to you now?

[@jjjjblahblah]

@@5am-yj5fw yea im talking with her again, thank u for asking :)

[@Andrea-zv3up]

@@jjjjblahblah it gets better. I remember telling my mom I needed to see a gynecologist bc she told my insurance I don’t need it. I told her and she asked why and when I opened up to her about me having sexual relationships she didn’t talk to me for two weeks.

[@zeina8631]

Here from the future haha! While I'm here, make sure to take some time for yourself today, do whatever you love and let your problems fade away💕

[@lttletae]

How's this comment 5 days ago when the video just uploaded?? Or am I missing something?

[@zeina8631]

@@lttletae I’ve got skills

[@lttletae]

@@zeina8631 Hahahaha I see

[@zeina8631]

@@lttletae Actually though, this channel keeps all their videos unlisted until its time to post, but keep them in playlists. So if you look through their playlists and find a video with barely any views, it’s most likely unlisted and you can comment early!

[@turtle8231]

I had 2 friends before who when I would get hyper, excited, say something they didn't agree with, or talk about something they didn't care about those friends would start to ignore me. It hurt a lot. I would start questioning what I did wrong, and I'd criticize myself. I had very low self esteem and I think I had an inferiority complex (I might still do), so please just communicate with others, don't look down on them, don't ignore them, and don't only listen to them when it benefits you. Just be nice

[@d00fybatz]

My last partner utilized the silent treatment almost every time there was a misunderstanding, no matter how small. It was always backed by the threat of ending relationship. 'I don't know if I can handle this relationship. I'll let you know when I've made a decision', followed by 1-2 days of little to no communication. I finally broke it off after the third time. It was incredibly destructive and painful. Thank you for this video. It was very helpful in understanding the experience.

[@nicoleonfeels]

You can take some time to process emotions but be sure to express them once you do. It’s never fun to be left in the dark.

[@christmastree6817]

I just like doing it when they know what they did already

[@tommygunn6901]

It never is fun to be left in the dark, especially when it involves you! Silent treatment is just juvenile in my eyes. If one can't put their big boy/big girl pants on and talk out issues, then what's the point of continuing the relationship?

[@christmastree6817]

@@tommygunn6901 Because they know what they did and they should've never done it, they don't deserve to be spoken to when they intentionally hurt me

[@tommygunn6901]

@@christmastree6817 and that's your right. I dealt with such things starting with my upbringing where most of my family displayed passive aggressive behavior

[@tommygunn6901]

I see it as a form of passive aggressive behavior. I'm not gonna lie, it's been next to difficult for me to reach out for the reason of feeling turned away.

[@tommygunn6901]

@Introverted Artistt correct! I started noticing these patterns a lot more at the end of 2018 and started to strengthen my boundaries soon after

[@mariogirl8100]

I feel like that too, my sibling was usually the one who I was with most of the time ever since we switched to homeschool, but lately, they've been ignoring me, pushing me away, or do actually acknowledge me, but shows literally no interest in what I'm trying to tell them, but it's usually the first two, and the more they've been doing this, the more discouraged I feel from ever talking or opening up to them, because I feel like they'll just ignore me or push me away, so I feel like I have to pretend that I'm okay, when really, I have a few breakdowns when I'm alone because I feel like I can't show any emotion other than happiness or no emotion at all, because they might see that as me showing weakness, and I don't want them to see me as weak...

[@isaak1748]

I've always thought the silent treatment is so pointless. I'm glad science has my back 😂 Edit: I'm talking about people who are petty and just want to ignore others to punish them not exceptional cases

[@keiron.4612]

I haven't what if your been abused like me you're not exactly gonna be talking

[@isaak1748]

@@keiron.4612 in that case it's totally acceptable. I'm talking about people who get into petty arguments and they stop talking to each other instead of talking it out.

[@amana1480]

Sometimes it's hard for people to talk

[@isaak1748]

@@amana1480 it's different saying "I'm sorry I don't feel like talking right now" than just ignoring someone to punish them.

[@isaak1748]

@The Genderqueer Cringy Emo you should work on that, it might be hurting the other person, unless they're ok with it

[@beththompson2188]

I give the silent treatment because I will just completely shut down. I suffer from depression and sometimes I really need to talk to someone but I am usually dismissed as if I just don’t matter. I just stop talking to people. What bothers me is no one seems to care to ask if I’m ok. Many times I’m not. If someone is giving the silent treatment it may mean they are going through something and they really need a friend to talk to. Just let them know you are there when they’re ready to talk. It’s not always easy to get out of the silent treatment.

[@lemon_kid4527]

Who else is really clingy to their best friend because they have abandonment issues and is scared to lose them so watches this video to learn and understand why some people give you silent treatment.

[@classifiedinformation6353]

My Father used to give my Mother the silent treatment. I always sensed it was due to something wrong in his emotional world, but only now do I realize that it pushed my Mother to depression and to finally giving up on living in her later, frail years. Now the my Mother has passed, my Father is feeling the regret and loss.

[@genese23]

Sometimes the silent treatment is all you can do. When you've expressed your boundaries ad nauseum, & your partner claims they are ok with them, then decides they are an attack weeks, or a month later. I agree that explaining to the person, I need time to process is totally reasonable. The other party should give them time, but they don't get to decide when you've processed your emotions. They don't get to dictate when you "should be ready to talk about it." Human beings are complex, & wired differently than each other. I did my best to communicate that the relationship was unhealthy, & toxic for both of us but they refused to accept me saying I'm done, & it's over. In the end, I had said goodbye so many times, in so many ways. Yet they wouldn't let me go, I said goodbye, & stopped talking to them altogether. I had to give the silent treatment for my own sanity.

[@lokkilucas1]

Agreed. A very similar thing happens between me and my father recently. Even though I really want to love him, I just can't do it and I have no choice but to stay away from him or when he's close to me, give him the silent treatment when possible, because he was abusive when I was a kid. He emotionally and physically abused both me and my mom when I was a kid, and I have to bottle this up through all of my teenage years because he was getting more "friendly" with me, but this doesn't erase what he did to me on the past. The damage was done. And when I couldn't bottle this up anymore and I just let it all out, he just prefers to praise himself instead and call himself a "good father" in which, he was clearly not. There were other things that happened also that contributed to me getting distant and silent to him recently. So, in this case, yeah, I agree. I have no choice but to stay away and give the silent treatment to him, because I know he's blind to his own delusions of grandeur. And that sucks.

[@genese23]

@@lokkilucas1 I apologize you have to deal with a relationship that constantly tests your boundaries. It must be exhausting for you. I hope you keep honoring yourself, by doing what's best for you. I have to keep telling myself I'm doing what's healthiest for both parties by sticking to my boundaries, I can't take responsibility for others feelings, just my actions & my feelings.

[@azarishiba2559]

I think it's okay to apply the silent treatment in the situations you described, BUT it's not OKAY to do it if the other person just don't know how you are feeling and doesn't even realize what you did wrong, or expecting that they understand eventually what they did. Just no. I think this is actually the point of this video. However, if you already talked so many times with about the current problem, and they just seem to not care, okay, you did everything possible, so not talking more to them is sadly the only option, and this time is not wrong to do it.

[@raven-kn6lv]

That's not silent treatment though. That's just cutting ties with them. Permanently.

[@arkwhite23]

What you just described is not the silent treatment. That's be assertive and standing up for yourself. The silent treatment is a passive aggressive communication style mostly used to by certain individuals to deal with conflict. Being assertive is a healthy form of communicating especially when negotiating and solving conflict. I would say you have great communication skills and ahead of most in that regard.

[@erikarego1323]

It’s cowardly especially when a person has done nothing wrong - sometimes the people who you would never expect to backstab you or treat you to this psychological violence do this - but in the end it’s their mask falling and showing you - who they really are - stay strong not a reflection of your self worth - every experience is a lesson .

[@aarnilapsi9336]

It hurts. My ex used to give me silent treatment and it made me cry multiple times. I never knew why he was mad at me and I was worried for him. Just communicate. It may be hard to find the right words, but it's better for you both.

[@BhoomikaYellowB]

Thank you so much for this video. I have received silent treatment and trust me, it's the worst thing that somebody could do to you. Since the silent treatment works only if someone you care about and are close to gives you, it hurts somewhere deep. And if the perpetrator's intention is to deliberately make you feel guilty, and if it turns out to be true, it's better to just move on from the relationship/friendship. That way you help yourself, though that's hard.❤️

[@dEAthlikEstAtic]

honestly i would just prefer someone to tell me to leave them alone. plain, simple. that way i know at least. i always feel like i'm tip towing around people. i ask if there's a problem or if we're still friends and just get ignored. if i'm draining, tell me so i can work on it. if you don't like me, tell me so i can leave you tf alone. if you need time, tell me. people just expect me to put in an absurd amount of effort for the smallest acknowledgement or even respect and i just can't keep doing that to myself. i'd rather just be a hermit for the rest of my life at this point.

[@anniegun6565]

I had over 5 years of silent treatment from my stepdaughter who moved in with us full time after leaving her mum at 13.because of abuse. I acknowledge that she was dealing with trauma and we took her to counselling and I thought over time she would realise she had her Dad and me as a supportive family and appreciate the safe environment she was now living in. Basically she resented me because I was not her mother. I spoke to her on a handful of occasions expressing my hurt but I actually think she was happy she created my reaction because it was a form of control. I learned over time to not react. She had textbook covert narcissistic traits, ie no respect, defiance, silent treatment, gaslighting and constant lies and a few months after she turned 18, we asked her to move out because the household was not a happy place. She is now renting some place and working full time so best for everyone including her. But she will continue these tactics with other relationships in her life. My life (and her Dad’s) is now more peaceful without the constant punishment but I wish things could have worked out better and she could accept me in hers without the “passive abuse”

[@justablankaccountnow6471]

Sometimes it’s best to remove yourself from certain unnecessary situations. Even if it may hurt the other. But you will have to confront it eventually.

[@serahkimani8562]

My mother did this all my life and now as an adult I am recognizing what it actually does to a person.

[@SuperBlessedKing]

I’m currently experiencing the silent treatment from individuals who I thought I could trust, but now distrust and mistrust is developing towards them, and I’m questioning the future with them. This video helps me to maneuver through this situation currently.

[@Sp33dster96]

This speaks to me a lot. Getting the silent treatment so much that I started feeling like a dog that wet the carpet. It was so irritating.

[@djwarrior3365]

This has been done to me since early childhood. She is still doing it. I'm going to need to get off of this Merry Go Round. Time to stop internalizing, recognize this action for what it is, and refuse to join misery. This will be my LONG OVERDUE gift to myself. Thank you for this video.

[@mayadraws7934]

Remember it’s always better to try to talk things out! :)

[@nv2224]

My narcissistic father often used silent treatment as a way of punishing me and my housewife mother for not having enough money at home to buy essentials... I was a kid back then!! I used to end up thinking that I am the cause for the financial loses and having no money in the family. I would be so sad that I remember once I thought of jumping off from my school's terrace and end my life that is causing so much inconvenience to my dear father. The financial loses is because he was bad at finance... He has grandiose thinking that he is the best and only businessman out there in the market, take horrible financial decisions and when loses occurred he blamed my mother and me for being in his life and give us verbal abuse then silent treatment for months. I had no one to talk to, he would make sure that he insults me in front of my friends and schools.. for example if I got a call from my friend for homework matters he would make sure that he yells verbal abuse at me and my mom in the background. I was so humiliated. He would tell his relatives on the phone that his daughter is useless, a educated fool. So after growing up i realised to shut him from my life. Now whatever he does i give don't any reaction to it.

[@emy4113]

i really don’t have control over it when i’m in pain or mad with a person i stay silent i can’t talk, until we talk about it and solve the problem. most of the time they will just leave it like nothing happened and talk normal but that doesn’t work with me

[@Србомбоница86]

Your ego is way too big ,I think

[@Jewel77777]

Wow!! Thank you so much for posting this. This couldn’t have come at a better time as it seems the “silent treatment” has been really big in my family as of late. In fact, I recently perpetrated it to my mom - not fun btw. No matter how mad I might be, especially when the victim is indifferent to YOUR indifference. It literally accomplishes nothing. I hate not talking to my family, so this video taught me to avoid doing this as much as possible!

[@Sygmus6]

Ugh, bad timing. This week someone mistook my silence as an indication that I wasn't interested in their friendship. I'm just awful at talking and generally on edge when I have to. I've been doing my best to not feel like all failing friendships are my own fault.

[@Tanaconasaperson]

I do this a lot when I get hurt by someone. I do this to protect myself but it's good to learn that it's not okay

[@taraza976]

I've been overthinking for several years after being ostracized for 2years before. This video gives me an answer and new insights, i feel validated 🥰

[@dbling]

I appreciate this insightful video. Thank you. I experienced the silent treatment as a child from my father, who was my only parent, and it would go on for a week+ with him slamming doors/cabinets to remind me he is angry at me. I totally forgot about those experiences and feelings until watching this. Thank you again for all the awareness you are raising on so many mental topics. You are improving countless lives with knowledge. So powerful. 💛

[@aseelelwan]

this channel was also the channel that helped me with my mental health. and when i send it to other people who are having struggles it helps them. thank you.

[@goldola1935]

I am the chief of this. I am not punishing anyone I just know what that person is truly made of and that he will keep harming me anytime that he gets closer to me. My problem with people is their stubbornness and I usually never reach out first.

[@MyPersonalCoachingClub]

Yes, it can be a form of toxic behavior!

[@emilydoesstuff5597]

My friends been giving me the silent treatment for 4 months. Tbh I don't think they're my friend anymore 😂😐

[@nightappleispoisonapple1775]

:(((

[@emilyyuwo]

Same here should I try talking to them..

[@emilydoesstuff5597]

@Introverted Artistt I would but I've known them for 3 yrs and we were rlly close

[@sc1tties]

A "friend" gave me the silent treatment without any explanation for about a month, and i dont consider her my friend anymore

[@Be_kind_and_use_your_brain_uwu]

@@emilydoesstuff5597 happened to me not that long ago and I've known my friend for maybe 4 years and I really feel heart broken not gonna lie about that so I really think cutting out people is a good thing to consider then just dragging it out even if it's painful like I would honestly rather be alone and not have friends for the rest of my life then surrounding myself with terrible people

[@art.of.verser]

I can only say that the silent treatment is always pointless. Then again, so are ultimatums. I can't deal with them to save my life. Ugh. 💔

[@Spector06111]

I used to have best friend who did this all the time. Sometimes for months on end all over some little disagreement or if something didnt go the way he wanted it too. 5years ago I walked away from this nonsense and blocked him out of my life for good. Since then its like a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and have accomplished more in my life then keeping this person in my life.

[@confused7970]

My best friend out of no where stopped talking to me and when i tried talking to her she always pushed me away so i got into severe depression for almost a year. I avoided my friends and family because of her, fortunately i grew out of it but till today seeing her hurts me so much and i've never knew why we changed from being best friends to two strangers who know nothing about each other even though we go to the same places and talk to the same people. I guess it's true that everything changes eventually.

[@fabrizio483]

It's the perfect response to abusers.

[@mysticIvy324]

FACTZ

[@tiffanyrussell4718]

Totally agree. Also a perfect response to narcissist’s as well 👍🏾

[@MyJanvic]

But it will not address everything.

[@thatguywithachainsaw5703]

But when you do it to an innocent partner YOU are the abuser

[@willskywalk]

@@thatguywithachainsaw5703 facts and it can cause health problems

[@anubiswerelupe]

the silent treatment would be a lot better than the constant yelling. Being ignored and having things quiet for a change would be bliss.

[@Србомбоница86]

No,it's the worst feeling being ignored while living in the same house

[@ganaya5663]

Honestly, some people deserve it.

[@landhausidyll3185]

This is how my husband reacts when we have an argument or having uncomfortable discussions. He gets very angry and closes up immediately and when I try to otuch him, he pushes me away - while I became so scared and nervous about what I did wrong. He won't talk for 3 days and while this is happening, I was either hurting myself (banging my head on the wall, scratching my arm with sharp objects) as a punishment for making him angry and this went on for years (actually until now) and as an after effect from this, I am now suffering from Fibromyalgia and depression.

[@gamroll8276]

I got silent treatment by someone who i made first priority.......the first time, i thought they were just joking around and so i played around and try to get their attention thinking its fine....then days go by and i started feeling rly awful, i ask our mutual friends why they were giving me the silent treatment, all our mutual friends say she will go back to the way she is soon, which she did after about a week.. i was happy that shes back but at the same time i feel like i dont like the silent treatment, then we got into an argument and she gave me the silent treatment again. I think it was due to the argument but the second time i feel not confusion but mental stressed, i didnt wanna make her more mad then she is, i apologize and take back everything i said, but she stills giving me the silent treatment, each time i see her she wont talk to me even so i still say sorry, then i realized tat shes starting to give me the silent treatment more than usual, idk why but it started to hurt my chest, at times i even have to control my tears when we're together with our mutual friends...it hurts so bad all i can do is pretend like it doesnt bother me, i tried to do other things to get it off my head but my anxiety makes me feel like its all my fault, i did something wrong i deserve it, im so mentally tired tat i try to get use to it. I tried to avoid her as well, i told myself tat seeing this person who refuse to talk to me for no reason is just like me stepping on fire on my own accord, so i distance myself, then she soon came to talk to me, it hurts so bad i rly did tear up and pretended to yawn as if its just me yawning Ps. Tat was a year ago, our relationship broke up due to me building up the courage to tell them tat i cant handle it and needed break, then i just made new social media accounts and stop talking to them, im sure they dont talk to me as well so its just like tat, silent between us, it still hurts when i think about it but im trying my best to move on

[@danivalonga5233]

hey, I really feel you. this happened to me either and all I can say is that It's not your falt, don't blame yourself, don't be so hard with yourself, communication have to be a mutual thing, so if you're the only one trying what's the point? and I suffer with anxiety too, and it sucks because we keep overthinking what have we done wrong, but try not to do that. At the end it was just a toxic friendship, it'll be hard but you'll get over this, don't worry ❤️ (sorry for my bad english ok, and remember I'm couting on you)

[@carolmaz8675]

Try to realise that pple that act this way have low emotional intelligence and it’s really a form of control .. anyone worth having around won’t do this as they know what they are doing .. your better off without that negative control in your like make friends with pple who communicate healthily xx

[@gnarthdarkanen7464]

It's important to separate the differences between Silent Treatment and Time Out, AND to make sure you're clear when putting a Time Out to things. Everybody does NOT share the same perspectives, experiences, and mindsets. When being social and sociable, we have to understand from time to time, "Feathers get ruffled". There are arguments that are often silly, pointless, or petty and have no realistic end, no matter how emotionally bonded you are to your perspective. To insist upon pursuing the argument is no better than taking turns smashing your heads against a wall. It's no more healthy either. Take the Time Out to "just not discuss that", and if that carries that there will simply be no conversation at all, so be it. Get untangled from your own emotional BS and make the conscious decision that your friendship can still be worth investment, even if you can't possibly reach an agreeable consensus on the given argument... say... one fandom over another. It's no reason to destroy a friendship. BUT you both probably need to be able to back up and process through the idea that your individual fandoms are NOT your whole identities, and if you can't... well... that's NOT healthy either. Silent Treatment is childish... primitive. It's among the most immature of things that adults have been popularly engaged in. AND if anyone is willing to engage in it, then they're NOT the kind of reasonable, mature, or sophisticated adults that I need in my life... Life's too short to tolerate primitive childish BS, so I highly advise YOU do not engage in or tolerate it either. Cut them off and walk away. Surround yourself with people who are actually grown up and intelligent. ;o)

[@erinhappy-go-lucky5040]

This gives some great insight on cause and effect of the silent treatment for the person on the receiving end. Sometimes people are doing it consciously and sometimes it can be done unconsciously. Someone may be triggered as a flight response and may do it to gain space and process the situation, especially when they don’t feel heard. It is never a good idea to continue a disagreement when one or more people are escalated, because they don’t use the logical part of the brain and are in their reactive or primitive part of the brain. This causes the reactive person(s) the inability to hear each others point of view, because they are trying to keep themselves safe(even if the disagreement is small.). When someone is escalated, it is best to use fewer words. The trigger stems from a resurfacing of shame, guilt, or unmet needs in their subconscious. If one is ever in a disagreement and needs space to de-escalate and process, it’s a good idea to communicate that space is needed(Sometimes it is easier said than done.).

[@Proto-Martyr]

Even though my mum is not abusive in the slightest, whenever she's angry with me she stops talking to me for long periods of time. I've gotten so used to the silent treatment that I do it myself now with people I'm angry with. It's such a horrible habit to have, but when I'm angry with someone, the last thing I want to do is talk to them. It feels so bad.

[@katherineh9814]

That is abuse. She is abusive. Generational trauma right there.

[@Banryu-s3n]

Thank you for teaching me how to utilize its power. As an introvert, this is a very potent weapon against those people who try to harm me.

[@MercurialStatic]

Either very bad bait, or someone who is too weak to have empathy and communication above a child.

[@5am-yj5fw]

I'll admit. I have given someone the silent treatment before to my cousin around same age as me (13) I did it because she did something really bad and attempted to point the finger at me. I felt so mad I didnt talk to her for weeks. She would often reach out to me but I wouldn't respond. I saw this as a way to cut toxic people out of my life. Not trying to sound like a jerk but I'll admit it felt good that I wasnt talking to her. I put my time to people who were kind and thoughtful. Mainly my friends and other family members. I heard she felt really down that I was refusing to talk to her. Keep in mind it's not the first time she got on my nerves. Not mention the fact she shamed my friend for having a few spots on his face. And the fact she bullied her 3 year old sister. I had enough. I know silent treatment can be mean but in this case the best decision is for me to keep her out of my life as I'm not convinced she is sorry. Example. Shed always get on my nerves and say sorry but end up doing it again. It's been a few days and I still haven't spoken to her and heard she is fine now. You might have mixed opinions on my comment of you see it. But please tell me what to do. I always see her as a toxic cousin and I felt better that I dont talk to her. What do you want me to do. Should I reach out to her or keep going my separate way and focus on the good people? Bear in mind I do not see her as a good person for me to be around.

[@liliasam3443]

I’ve been recently a victim of silent treatment by a person that i really liked & i can definitely confirm what’s on this video i felt abused.

[@keilamoral5965]

I can confirm this video, when I was an exchange student in college, a girl stopped talking to me one day and next day all my classmates stopped talking to me until last day of the school year. I ate alone for 10 months and it gets to a point when you kind of forget the sound of your own voice. Never knew why.

[@goundo8888]

I feel you. this year, I entered engineering school. this year, I entered engineering school. I sympathized with a girl, the following week she ignored me and still does. I feel bad. (Srry for my english)

[@Lovelightandmusicisall]

That is so horrible im so sorrythat you went through that

[@Србомбоница86]

Damn ,that's cruel ,hope you are feeling okay now 😊

[@TheCoffeeCat]

It's abuse. And it was the hallmark of a relationship I had with an avoidant. Lots of emotional abuse and trauma from that.

[@penmax5137]

My opinion is if someone is very condescending and disrespectful to you, then respond to that person with silent treatment. Because ppl who treat us with disrespect and condescending remarks do not deserve any attention.

[@jana7046]

I used silent treatment a lot and at some point everything goes back to what it was and then they do the same and I react as I always did but nothing changes and they never stopped doing it, so I searched the whole topic and found your video, it is really useful, I will try to notice my actions more and talk about what bothers me instead of silence THANK YOU

[@lorainebejar2837]

Not harmful when it is your only choice because they are ignoring you and cutting you off of their life. Plus I treat silence as my healing time. Silence is golden. 🙂🙏💞

[@Mis_hormonaslocas]

Is insane how your videos at the perfect timing with events of my personal life

[@cordeliangelreece]

gasp! i've time traveled once again! great video :)

[@WoofinBoofer]

Someone important to me gave me the silent treatment. In order to cope with it, I wrote them a ~30 page letter. This helped me feel as if I was giving them the option to listen to me in a timely manner that they chose. And If they didn't read it, then it would show to me the kind of person they were. It really helped with a lot on my end, and instead of feeling insecure, it helped me get all that unnecessary insanity out of my head so that I could move on in life. I didn't do it for them, I did it for me, and I think that is why it helped me a lot. It was hard not to expect a response, but in reality, its a lot easier than thinking as if my words would produce a result.

[@georgetacarmen8824]

This should be used as a last resort. Sometimes, it is the last way to show that you have been hurt, before you decide to end anything and everything. It is easier, I believe to just end things cleanly, and with finality, when you realize that a person, does not have your best interests in mind, and at heart. For me, this last resort has worked in my favor, in the end, as difficult as it has been, on my side, as well. I have purposely tried to patch things up with family, years later on, after distancing myself from them, for years, and forgetting about them. But, with family, it is different. I forget now, why and how I decided to reach out to them again. But, I did. With a large family, it is a hit and miss, whether you can patch things up, enough to communicate, even through differences. But, I have attempted this. As for romantic relationships, if I placed distance anywhere, it was for good reason. If I feel that someone does not have my best interests in mind, or at heart, I will disappear them, and forget them. In time. Who has the energy to hold onto people who don't want to be held onto. I don't.

[@keller109]

I recognize that some people just need to be let go of. But everyone also deserves closure. If you’re ghosting and disappearing without providing the reasons why or closure, you… are… a… monster

[@DragonriderEpona]

From, unfortunately, very personal experience where I got a silent treatment for over 1,5 years (!), the explanation of emotional manipulation and especially abuse fits so well! The pain I had (and occasionally still have) waa the worst I ever had so far. It became one of my main topics in therapy because it broke me completely. So if you have problems with your close ones: Tell them first you need so time to sort things, calm down and get the space you need. Never, never give them the silent treatment. Because people won't know why and it can cause not only emotional pain, but also severe physical.

[@nurrelawaniabas425]

As an introvert..I don't call it silent treatment but as a way to say "please give me some space to think/reflect" or "I don't know what to say or what I should do right now." When i'm ready, I just talk to the person. sorry for my bad English...

[@disvadichill]

please say it in before you do the silent treatment tho, because my ex gf was just like you, and its hurt

[@katherineh9814]

Tell the other person then and give a time when you’ll return to discuss things. Otherwise it’s incredibly brutal and toxic.

[@2012DVSONE]

The reason strangers always want to talk even if it’s about nothing

[@pink_bunny_fluffy5936]

How the heck do people “time travel”- I need to know-

[@thanosthemadtitan4105]

Two words: Time. Stone.

[@sachikobroomfield316]

@@thanosthemadtitan4105 lol

[@zeina8631]

🤫

[@myphotoshowsyouwhenyouhave7106]

They have a Playlist with videos or something like that I think

[@mileynetwork]

patreon or channel memberships

[@leespire1892]

I remember my older sister do this to me when I made something that is wrong for her back when I was young and it's not healthy at all, no wonder I got sick easily before and you know what's the worst the feeling of thinking it's all your fault because of none ending silence and you don't know when it will stop, watching this video enlighten me so much.

[@seineevee]

I love the animation style! This video was very informative, glad I could travel back to see it

[@Psych2go]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@reminiscence7555]

People used to give me the silent treatment like there was no tomorrow, the best way I dealt with it was to just dwell on random thoughts that float into my head. Feeling rejected or awful for being given it is really not the best way to deal with it, if someone gives you the silent treatment, 75% of the time (in my case at least) they’re not acting themselves and sometimes even need to give themselves space. Being a huge fan of my own company I’m perfectly happy to wait until they’re ready to talk again so it was never too hard on me, especially since most of the people were just in a bad mood. If someone does this really regularly, I’m talking every day to every other day, for a long time over something that isn’t a big deal, my advice is to cut them out or give them a proper talk about it. If you can’t cut them out if you’re in a really bad case and they’re you’re parents or something, I recommend fully accepting that 90% of the time they ignore you, you’re not even close to being in the wrong. I would say seek professional help if it’s too extreme but I’m no expert I’m just talking from experience.

[@disvadichill]

really, my ex gf actually sometimes gives a hint about why she communicate so less and give someone silent treatment at the early of our relationship. Eventually she gives the silent treatment to me. at first i tought i will be fine with that since im not someone who really care about anything, but when she does that to me, i cant even clear my mind. She doesnt respond to my chat, or anything she just left me in the dark. Eventually i tell her that if you dont want to explain what is actually happen with you, we better break up. Eventually, i came into her house, she explain why she gosted me, and after she explained that to me, i dont know what to do. She’s been stressed and dont want to talk to anyone, i try to understand that but eventually we breakup. I feel like she trust me so much, and will be loved her unconditionally, but i kinda break her heart and trust.

[@shrimp-adoodle3444]

This reminded me of one “friend” that would literally PLAN silent treatment whenever her and I would argue with another friend. “Ok, so we’re gonna ignore her for 2 whole days! Don’t say anything to her, ok? 😌” She would always laugh at how upset she made people when she gave them the silent treatment, it makes me sick. Funny thing is, she’s giving me that treatment now 💀 I’m not affected by it in the slightest anymore. There’s no point. I expect this kind of attitude from her anyways.

[@carolmaz8675]

Stay clear of narcissistic pple

[@rburbr0171]

Thanks for doing a video on my suggestion!! I appreciate it! 😊

[@cherryblossom5434]

Hello everyone. Have a nice day. - from a time traveler.

[@Flowerbloom-ft7ru]

I know someone who had a problem with me 4 years ago, I was childish and did them wrong ngl, but it just never ended ever since. I tried so hard and apologized many times with speech and in my behaviors. I tried so hard for so long but still…. They don’t want to talk to me ever. It’s very sad really and exhausting. It just ruined my mental health and confidence. I have acted so fake to gain them again but lost myself in the process. I guess this is never going to happen. So I just will accept them as toxic as they are and will stay away as they wish

[@epicartist101]

Yay I’m on time and I love your videos and your videos are really helpful!

[@sofienasiha954]

I like how the people who did the editing, voiceover, script writing etc of this video was shown through cartoons. It's different and cute Would like to see more ending like this rather than just jotting down their names.

[@lindseyhebert5568]

My dad is giving me the silent treatment not calling me , when I call he’ll either ignore my phone calls , feeling like he won’t call and when I called him his phone goes straight to voicemail and one time he gave me the cold shoulder I cried for days💔😢

[@misssassydudds]

I’ve been deliberately ostracized by most of my family for 13 years now, and I can’t tell you how much I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, not one single person, including those that are doing the shunning. It’s like dying over and over and over again Nobody cares that you’re dead and nobody cares that you suffer every day and you’re right, you feel it physically because the brain can’t differentiate between physical and emotional pain. Doctors have since told me that I’m traumatized and the only way to get over it is to go through it All over again every day. I would GIVE ANYTHING just not to be here anymore. 💔 The only person that spoke to me, that loved me, was my dad, and he died 12 days ago. I would’ve given anything to have taken his place - you have no idea how much I wish this would just stop or in the very least I could be told what I did wrong to deserve this ?