Psychiatrist Explains: How An Addict's Brain Works

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Did y'all know the Porn Addiction Primer on our members site is actually free to everyone?! If that interests you and you haven't checked it out yet, come on over to members.healthygamer.gg/c/porn-addiction/!

[@mohdhamza4949]

Hey doctor k love you a lot. we need a detailed video on envy. How to handle that envious emotion basically a detailed and complete guide on this topic is missing in your channel. Envy could be from your sibling, relatives and how envy consumes us

[@UnusAnnus3]

“Overcoming an addiction is not about being strong. It’s about putting in lots of hours in stupid shit that you don’t want to do.” Eg meetings, therapy, daily meditation, etc I love this quote. Another banger from Dr. K 👌💣

[@boad8270]

unnus annus, unnus annus, unnus annus🗿

[@UnusAnnus3]

@ MEMENTO MORI NEVER FORGET ✊

[@Dolritto]

Meditation is meant to be somewhat enjoyable, ones that don't like their current style of choice should look for other to try.

[@boad8270]

@@UnusAnnus3 never forget brother, remember death

[@williamryan181]

I would say it's an accurate quote, but at the same time, putting in a lot of hours doing things you don't want to do actually builds strength, resiliency, and discipline.

[@experimentalcyborg]

I've realized that watching 6 hours of online content a day and being restless and purposeless without it means it's a bonafide addiction, and i've been slowly working on it the past few months. This video helps a lot, if only with perspective. (but honestly probably a lot more)

[@Anthony-ru7sk]

Dang, thought it was just me.

[@timmybus21]

deleting accounts and apps helped me

[@tintintin070]

yeah, this idea that addiction is like a specific object with boundaries "this is an addiction, that is not an addiction" is just another human attempt at oversimplifying something to make it easier to hold in our mind. addiction in the clinical sense is really just attachment taken to an extreme that negatively affects your life but on a personal level, we have all kinds of variations of attachment to different behaviors, things, people, even thoughts. I'm happy for you that you are raising awareness in your life and cultivating a better one 🙏🏻

[@TheThora17]

Thank you for these comments💕…

[@williamleahy1378]

I've pulled back on my social media consumption because it was problematic for me. I've noticed the strange irony of getting support and compassion on one of the platforms that once consumed you. Anyway, that realisation of yours is really positive, good for you!

[@smileychess]

I look forward to watching this one. I have an addiction that is basically destroying my life, but since it only affects my mind, no one else around me can understand or relate (thankfully they don't have to). I come across as normal, while being eaten up inside. And it's amazing how therapists don't seem to get it either.

[@-Timur1214]

The more you keep to yourself, the more goes unnoticed into your subconcious and then nobody knows whats wrong. You'll uncover and resolve those if you tackle them on (so just sitting for an hour doing nothing without distraction), then you atleast get aware of them again but just keeping it to yourself completly will move you into the wrong direction continuesly

[@catalystcomet]

I'm really curious about what it is, do you mind sharing? It may validate not only how you feel to see other people understand, but it may validate others for seeing you mention it. Perhaps they are also battling with the same thing

[@peripheralparadox4218]

Porn?

[@NoName-6942]

I feel this so much❤

[@enniox]

Share or didnt happen 😉

[@misslayer999]

I needed this. I've been sober for almost 2 years. I did all the things that you talked about, and even I went back to school. I'm actually a neuroscience major and doing really well, but I kind of slipped up over winter break because I told myself I deserved it. Fortunately nothing horrible happened, and everything's fine now, but yes, it can insidiously sneak back up on you like that and I see how important it is to remain vigilant, and for me, stay busy. I don't think about it when I'm studying. School is my top priority and science means so much more to me than using, but having over a month of free time with nothing to do kind of took me off guard. I have to remember what a tricky little fucker my nucleus accumbens is. Thanks

[@Holfus]

Just curious, how long did it take for neuroscience major? I really want to pursue it, but starting at 31 feels too late

[@misslayer999]

@Holfus I'm still in school and I'm 40 so I'm old AF, but I had to do something drastic to change my life, just like he talks about in this video. It was science that helped me get better and that's what keeps me in line because I want it more than anything else. I'll complete undergrad in 3 years and plan on doing a PhD after that. Getting a neuro degree is really only worth it if you get a PhD. Science related PhD programs in the US pay a small yearly stipend to grad students in exchange for doing research. It's not much but it's enough to get by until you graduate with a phd, (which pays considerably more.) It makes sense for me because I was more than ready to leave my previous career. Also my son is grown so I don't have young kids or anything. The way I see it, it's never too late. Where would I be in 3 years, or 7 if I didn't do it? Doing same crap as before and living in regret. Fuck that. Ageism is a thing but I don't care. I've dealt with much worse in my life. It's also becoming much more common for people to go back to school later in life. If you really want it, don't let that stop you. Although I'm not planning in staying in academia myself, I like to remember: Francis Crick was a 37 yr old grad student when he helped discover DNA's double helix structure!

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Hell yeah for getting past a hard moment. Keep at it 💪

[@johnnymatias3027]

This is great to read. I need to quit and I really want to go back to school, but I've always been afraid that I'm not smart enough or I'll relapse and ruin it.

[@misslayer999]

@@johnnymatias3027 totally understand! my biggest fear is that I'm not smart enough. I'm still scared of that but I've started to realize it's not about how smart I am(because I'm really not), it's about how much work I put into it. My good grades are a direct result of how much I study. I think it's really important to have a reason, something that matters to you more than anything else to work towards.(it really helps to have something to keep you busy too) I don't hear that being talked about enough in recovery spaces. I would recommend getting a good stretch of clean time before making a commitment. Enough time to where you feel pretty good sober on a day-to-day basis. For me, that was about a year. I know that sounds like forever but it's really not in the grand scheme of things. Good things are very rarely immediate. They take time to accomplish whether it be sobriety, a degree, whatever. It's worth it though, and so are you! good luck 💚

[@collinjoseph615]

The man's predicting what I want almost on a weekly basis.

[@kaajjaak]

Fr, it's scary

[@Dolritto]

Synchronicity on the roll

[@zit1999]

I needed to hear this breakdown of addict brain. Thanks Doc!

[@evan_dood]

I don't religiously watch Dr. K's videos or even his streams, but I stumbled across the "what happens when you quit caffeine" video and that (combined with several other things) led to me quitting cigarettes, THC, fast food, soda, and caffeine over the last six months. Caffeine was the last one, and I stopped about 4 days ago. I am so tired lol but I know I'll be better when I come out the other side. Thanks for everything you do!! I wish more psych professionals catered to specific types of cultures like this. I think I've broken my gaming addiction as well, but I still consider myself a part of that group.

[@iiislandbreeze]

Wow!

[@Zodiacman16]

I resonate with "addicts work the best on the smartest people". I don't mean to say I'm amazingly smart and my ego is inflated, but I tend to overthink. When I overthink, my brain comes up with new ways to weasel out of the things that I'm supposed to be doing. I wish I knew how to make an "impervious rule" like Dr. K suggests.

[@78alJ0vle]

That reasonates with me. I've tried to download many apps to block my pc and smartphone, but every single time I find ways of bypassing it. I even learned a bit of programing and working with android system just to unlock my phone. In that time the mindset was like "if I can unlock it, I deserve it" or "If I can unlock it means this app is bad and I should look for another better perfect alternative".

[@Dolritto]

Thing we wants to get rid of has access to our whole processing power. On the other side this same powers can be channeled to answear all that it drops on us, so there is a balance of sort, cause some tactics You can employ would've been too much for less inteligent people.

[@lobserionia]

@@78alJ0vle Try to cut the velocity of the whole world. This will force you to be more social. Just kidding, the problem is you feel lonely and you need either followers or a master. We are social creatures we either follow or lead. Try to find people like you that stop each other from doing bad habits or doing it too much. This is the way.

[@lobserionia]

@@Dolritto Ballance is a fool way. Do we have on the earth 50% herbivores and 50%carnivorese no? Do we have the same land mass and the same watevolumeym, no. SOme humans forget their origin, we are social not solitary. If you continue to be solitary you will do end up do bad habits cause you lonely, sad, tired and wahtever.

[@lobserionia]

Your brains is overthink cause you are lonely and you live alone. If you are social you tend to do less overthink cause you share responsibility with other people.

[@BE-tw9de]

I'm just going to say, as a person with avoidant behaviour and a past videogame addiction who happened to reinstall a game yesterday evening after a really bad week, the passage about not bending the rules and the analogy to the poisonous gas hit like a truck. Though this message will drown in a sea of others, know that I'm thankful for your videos and what you've done, Dr. K Wish you luck, guys.

[@habib-gn2hd]

thanks doc K for reviving our generation.

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Y'all are the ones out here doing the hard work!

[@habib-gn2hd]

still appreciate it. I have learned more about myself than ever before and I think the same applies to many others..

[@discopotato675]

Perfect timing. 5 days without a drink. (after countless attempts for sobriety)...Several times I have used the excuse, "if I'm gonna drink in a year, that's going to make me more disappointed in myself than if I do it now.". Such an insane (in hindsight) form of SELF SABOTAGE. In the moment it seems logical and giving yourself the control of the outcome.

[@SomeMaoriDude]

It's ironically true, because it's also the very thing that keeps you on the wagon. Once you're a year sober you start thinking "If I relapse now, it'll all be for nothing AND I'll be disappointed". Ime anyways. Hell some of my nightmares were about relapsing 😅

[@alejandroc7357]

Even just quitting isn’t enough. You have to look deep within and ask why you drink. Then address those issues

[@discopotato675]

@@alejandroc7357 right. Been in therapy for over 2 years lol

[@alejandroc7357]

@@discopotato675 well what conclusions have you come to? Why do you enjoy drinking?

[@insomnyuk]

10 years clean from drugs and alcohol. Quit nicotine completely 6 years ago. Quit porn 4 months ago. Now the struggle is food...

[@loveistheanswer5924]

Alcohol is actually one of the most harmful and hardest drugs out there! I have a lot of respect for you! 🙂👍♥️ I am very addicted to kratom for at least 8 years now and it ruins my whole life. I am also addicted to DXM and while it helps a little bit with my depression it seems to destroy my brain! I hope i dont will get dementia! 😪

[@commanderyeti3646]

Way to go man. A good way to help your struggle with food is just have 2 large meals a day. Snacking/ mindless eating is not good. Get your body and mind adapted to 14+ hours of not eating.

[@azula3906]

​@@commanderyeti3646I agree with this. Although, I usually go with one meal a day, as it's more effective and more satisfying.

[@omotayosatuyi252]

Similar to the food I have an issue with overeating, super hard

[@Respect2theFallen]

​@@loveistheanswer5924 i thought heroin was 🤨

[@Raccoonpolice99]

Coming off abusing adderall (& combinations) for years; I'm now almost 3 years sober, & this video is great stuff

[@MrKyletheawesome]

I understand so much about my addictions watching this channel. The struggle is putting this into practice consistently.

[@noeldelarosa_ph]

My dad significantly got himself off alcohol by logging his intake weekly for a year. He was kind to himself. Quite inspiring to see. Hope it helps.

[@nKarje]

Recently, I downloaded my bank statements and summed up the expenses in Excel for weed consumption. In a 2-year period, I've spent about £2730 (about 3250 euro). I am definitely motivated to take a break - going for 30 days and re-evaluating then. Been getting high in the evenings almost daily... I never dream. On day 1 of quitting, I had a fairly mild/forgettable dream, but was surprised at how fast it came back. Going to bed on 2 soon and I expect it may get more intense. I'm fighting a porn addiction too (which has been going on for very long time).

[@thehealthionaire]

I'm giving up all of my bad habits overnight, a lot thanks to you Dr. K. I'll be documenting it on my channel and I'm hoping it can heal my shattered brain. Thanks for your inspo, cheers!

[@dora47977]

Thank you so much, Dr. K. I’m not a gamer, but I’ve learned so much here. If there’s one thing I’d like to share, it’s this: The power lies within us. Calmness, peace, relaxation, and self-love-they are already a part of us, just as much as our fears, addictions, and weaknesses. Sometimes, I feel like destroying all the phones. What are we really searching for in them? Why am I even here again? The truth is, there’s nothing out there that can truly fulfill us. Everything we need has always been within us.

[@friskykrispies]

Loving these edits of the long streams. Lots of helpful teaching with wider accessibility. Thanks for this!

[@catagecat]

People say it‘s not real but I swear I‘m addicted to sugar

[@aliciakon6521]

Yes you are, like most of us are! Btw it was the hardest to overcome for me when I tried to stop doing sugar - after having a nice healthy meal, at 3pm I would start thinking of chocolate and until I had a (whole) bar (or 2!) I couldn't think of anything else :( but I kept eating healthily until one afternoon I realised I wasn't craving for chocolate any longer! Now I can have a little square of chocolate when I feel like something sweet and feel satisfied, but it's not unconsciously incontrolable as I'm my early 20s

[@SteamDumpling2738]

From what I learn, sometimes, we eat sugary things bcs we want to avoid certain feelings. Boredom, guilt, uneasiness, so on. Sugar tastes good, therefore we don't feel those uncomfortable feelings. And sometimes we also don't eat enough food that contains nutrients we need throughout the day (carbs, protein, fiber, etc), so the body craves sugar as instant source of energy. I find myself less cravey of sugar if I eat enough food and nutrients in the morning (protein and fiber especially), but my neurodivergent brain couldn't do it every morning tho, so there are many days that I failed

[@aliciakon6521]

@catagecat not real? Children have been given sugary stuff since early days! I have many times referred to sugar as the cocaine for the poor. There's an excellent book that shows the history of sugar and how addictive it is called Sugar Blues by William Dufty. Highly recommend it!

[@speculative]

I've heard of studies that show sugar is more addictive than cocaine, actually.

[@osinstalls]

Certain synthetic sugars are the worst, about 1 year ago it was flavored lemonade waters so I replaced that with water and more natural sugars, sometimes a small splash of juice. Those lab engineered sugars are so sweet they make everything else taste dull and you kind of get a weird craving for it. I try to keep to salad, superfruits, omelette, oatmeal, and normal routine. I force myself to walk/run each day. Sugars get worse to avoid around the holidays we have chocolate, pies, and all sorts of bad habit food around.

[@M.Ahnungslos]

I quit smoking, i am quitting weed right now, and i will quit methadone. Step by step. The last year was really eye-opening for me. And it's the first time I'm positive, that I will stay clean!

[@angelmendez5023]

I’ve been without weed for about a month and last night I had the strongest urge to get high again. Glad this video popped up before I did anything

[@foobrazy]

damn bro a month? my tweaking after stopping smoking (last binge was like 6 live resin carts in a month) was like 2 weeks how long u been smoking?

[@heyyfirefly]

proud of you!! you are better than i am, congrats, you already came a long way. best wishes to you!

[@johnnymatias3027]

Good luck man, I need to stop, and soon.

[@marko112kg]

Congratulations! I was (am?) wake and bake and it stopped doing anything for me so I stopped. So far so good, but it’s only been a short while. Good luck!

[@angelmendez5023]

I’ve been smoking once a day when I got home for maybe about a year now. The addiction hit quickly lmao. I pray you find the strength to get rid of all your carts and resin. Gets a lot easier that way

[@MelissaMcGovern-r9c]

Dr. K… thank you …. You explain things in a very true, simple , non-judgement way & in a happy way where it makes me think “ I can” actually get through this

[@Minatoo2]

I want to be a psychotherapist when I grow up, and your videos really help me to reflect and expand my horizons. Keep up the good work 😄 I just hope that the membership payment is cheaper, cuz 10 bucks a month is way to expensive for many students who want to enjoy your videos

[@DoubleDragonTarot]

Thank you! This was a helpful dose of reality for me. I’m on day 4 of quitting nicotine cold turkey.

[@RaduM1]

Well... You are not quitting anything. You are becoming a healthier person! Keep going!

[@Alex-js5lg]

Good luck on your journey!

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Keep at it! You've got this.

[@Pooploop55]

Long time watcher and I’m sorry but the new editing style for these with the chopped up blurbs/teasers at the beginning and the abrupt break to very chopped up member pitch JUST when it’s about to get good totally takes me out of it and kind of messes up my focus and keeping the same train of thought for the whole video. Not sure if I’m the only one though.

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Heard, thanks for the feedback - we are going to be switching up editing styles here and there as we determine what's best for as many of y'all as possible, so please keep sharing the feedback when you have it! 💚

[@Swordonator]

Agree

[@Ramya519]

Agree

[@Dolritto]

When I started my journey with this channel 4 years ago I had a hard time sitting through information dense 42min video with minimal/no editing and they were acceptable only as background "podcast" on headphones for cleaning around the house/walks and I usually had to relisten lectures. I would love the experimental cut heavy style back then, as something like this used to catch back my attention - if now I don't feel like main target audience anymore, then my work around strenghtening frontal lobe to get more attention span looks to be working. ^^

[@whateverimake9350]

You just got mad because you were depleted of dopamine.

[@Yadidyakumar047]

" THINGS ARE ONLY HARD UNTIL YOU ADAPT ". .🔥🔥

[@joshualuciani7359]

Thank you for this video, I have a couple of people in my inner circle who used to be addicted to different kind of substances and this video helped me understand better the work they had done in order to overcome their issues.

[@The.Almighty.Daltonious]

Hey Dr K. I used to watch you alot. Not that I dislike you now or anything, but I just kinda stopped. But like EVERY SINGLE TIME you make a video about addiction, I watch it. I'd love like LOVE to see a series on how the various different kinds of substances influence how different your road to recovery is.

[@ricolearns]

"The brain is the most complicated piece of matter in the universe" -Brain

[@me0101001000]

I know it's reductive, but often times we enjoy the chase rather than the actual end. The chase and anticipation is where the dopamine comes from. When I learned that, I worked hard to redirect that dopamine spike to other things. It helps kick an addiction, and it also helps get things done. How's that for killing two birds with one stone?

[@Hymn-e9o]

Couldn’t thank you enough, Dr. K! Last year, you helped me get through my gaming urge & weed addiction. Your guesting at Mel Robbin’s podcast was the deal breaker for me to control myself from getting dopamine from excessive gaming. Since then, July last year, I haven’t played CODM, and I finally got my normal self back after quitting weed last quarter of the same year. It was a tough slippy sloppy process the entire year, being confused as to why I should stop and is weed really good or bad. And your contents gave me all the helpful informations for me to finally clicked, I’m really grateful for your works, they are truly masterpieces. To the ones who are battling game addiction and other stuff, here are some that helped me get through them that might also work for you guys who are seeking for change. 1. Treat your body as an animal that is automatic. You gotta have to STARVE it if you’ve already realized that that something you’re into you is causing you troubles. 2. Embrace PAIN and SUFFERING during those starvation times. Soon, your body will get back to its natural state, where food is the only thing you need. 3. MOVE AROUND, get a dog that you will have to cater, bathe, and clean shit 💩 for. I have a toddler and a dog, and I’ve accepted that I am their servant, it’s a good way to think of it, though sometimes it could be really tiring. When the our body moves, it helps the brain with some chemical reactions happening in there lol. 4. FACE BOREDOM, you’ll soon find out what matters truly, just sit with your thoughts even if it’s painful. Develop a MUSCLE for BOREDOM. Remember that being alive and healthy today is the greatest gift one could have.

[@janmejay17]

I really enjoyed the slower, quieter pace of the video. I didn’t enjoy the fast paced videos, felt too ADHD lol. This felt like the older dr k videos which I loved!

[@AstradTheCynic]

Last time I was this early my mom had to get a c section. What's up gamers

[@mcj2024]

Thank you Dr. K! Very helpful and great content. For me personally this kind of scientific knowledge and understanding has been really helpful, especially when I put together what I have learned with my faith and particulary opening up to God. Just wanted to share that ❤

[@Oho_o]

The hardest is giving up the friends.. It doesn't really work to tell them not to give me weed or nicotine when i'm with them. The thought of those addictions always seek into my conciousness by being around and seeing those substances. How am i supposed the give up my only friends? Best friends... It's a 50/50 decision which i'm pondering from side to side.

[@HamSalad101]

I understand, I've been in a similar situation before. The ideal scenario is that the group as a whole simultaneously commits to putting in the work to quit the addiction(s). However, since that is completely out of your control, you simply cannot bank on that. This is just my opinion/advice (from your perspective a complete stranger on the internet, so take it with a grain of salt), but if you want to quit without your friends quitting WITH you, you'll need to make new friends.

[@MrPinkDino]

It's a good idea to start something new, look for some activity you could put your time in. Maybe it becomes your new environment, so you can change the environment. Quiting best friends sounds impossible. Trying out some martial arts or whatever sounds fun.

[@dabsouljaboy]

@@MrPinkDino Yeah I agree that you can find other people who share your interests to spend more time with in person, but it also doesn't mean you need to burn bridges. If those older friends respect your wellbeing and desire to better yourself as a person, they'll respect your grind for a while from a distance (assuming you don't believe you can be around them using, and they will necessarily use). And in time, if you keep it up and demonstrate how your life has improved through your demeanor and your attitude, it will only serve to inspire them too. If the support isn't there, it will be easier to find entirely new friends anyhow. tl;dr remind yourself that you can become a pillar of motivation for others who you care about, it will be easier to make sense of what you are doing in the interim.

[@Oho_o]

Thank you for the courage and answers!

[@aidentheabsurd]

Love the new editing style. You guys are a blessing

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Glad you're liking it - we super appreciate the feedback! 💚

[@ssykes7]

You posted this comment literally 2 minutes after the video went up. Are you the editor? The editing feels awful. Love Dr. K but this editing is like a headache being shaken up in a bottle.

[@OldNewsDaily]

Ironic how the whole dr K brand is keeping you glued to the screen watching his videos and streams and they do everything that all the big youtubers do to hijack your attention and keep you an addict. I used to be a fan but I know better now. Watching this guy for 100hrs < 10 mins of thinking and listening to yourself in silence on your own

[@zsoltmarkgyenes3295]

Yeah… sort of feeling the same. The whole thing is starting to loose its charm because it starts to feel like: “profit > people” I even commented about my concerns about this and my comment got deleted I value the dude’s thoughts but it gets really suspicious if they start to moderate feedback that hard

[@zsoltmarkgyenes3295]

Don’t get me wrong - I still respect his opinion but I have a sense dude starts to lose being in touch with reality and the lives of everyday people. I am happy he got successful - but at what cost? There is a paywall to his coaching program and the guide - IDK, but like it seems that he lost being a community focused dude at some point and shifted to treating this as business.

[@Adam_Millns]

I'm addicted to watching Dr K videos...

[@SaChin-sc1tp]

Dr K I am addicted to watching your videos,what do I do?

[@Delmworks]

Start applying them

[@clintbruns9377]

Thanks Dr. K, Current addict, instead of street drugs like it was 10 years ago, it manifestits in so many other ways. Uncontrolled eating, thinking my meds from the DR make me a addict again, many others, It's all so confusing. Appreciate any kind of video on addiction. I've had it for 27 years and do not yet understand.

[@discopotato675]

Love the spotter in the gym analogy

[@jemjemmm]

Some Personal Notes: Addict's Brain (AB) ## Mental Gymnastics (AB rationalizes to fit the outcome that is always use use use) 1. Perception of control (AB says that there's control --> in order to use) 2. Uses Denial (AB comes up with reasons it's not a problem --> in order to use) AB says... *I can stop/quit whenever. *It's not a problem unless it affects my relationships/health/others. *I'm still productive. *It's not like I'm using everyday. 3. Uses Deal Making (brain says it's okay for this reason --> in order to use) AB: *It's just for fun. *I've been good, so I deserve it this time. *I'll stop after this. *It's the weekend, so it's fine. *It's with friends, so it's okay. *It's a special occasion. *It's my coping mechanism, or else I'll crash out. *(what other phrases does the AB say??)

[@IschmarVI]

"in order to use" definitely sums it up very, VERY well. Because of this, I believe that one of THE most important aspects of overcoming addictions (or any undesirable habit really) is to be completely honest with yourself; to recognize and accept that all these - as you call them - "mental gymnastics" are happening. Because only once you understand what is actually happening inside of you, you can really start to work through it.

[@bobowon5450]

one thing i've 100% learned about addiction over the years is that I've been gas lit a lot regarding my supposed addiction to video games. There are no withdraws if i take a break. I do not forgo self care to pursue video games. There isn't any detrimental impact on my life because of video games. People just see me say I play every day and freak out and assume its all my free time is occupied by. I also don't watch tv or movies, don't even have a cable or netflix subscription. I go out nearly every weekend to socialize face to face at card night at the local game shop or be with friends. And then the reaction to trying to explain more information? "oh that's just what an addict would say". Like how little dependence do you need regarding something for it to not be considered an addiction to people?

[@vindom6524]

I love this so much really starting to love my self day by day

[@BumWatcher]

My study into "abandonment" has led me to understand that the main abandonment issue is that: Sex is abandoned as a problem for most people, as well as that my family/grandmother(?) could not have been punished for what SHE did to ... find her "justice", and I became HER right hand man... without her understanding what she was doing I guess, because I should have broken societal codes a lot earlier. Still alive logic tho, so ... The point is, you are a family "freak" and you come out and you wanted how to explain YOUR FAMILIY struggle to the rest of the strugglers out there. And it hurts to have to compare wounds, it's really the mf worst. So a female likes you despite your nature, it's priceless, cause you don't like not being yourself, mostly. Cause people don't get it like she gets it. That's why. Happy New Year.

[@atulnair7901]

This guy is an absolute and literal lifesaver

[@MrFreshFruits]

I love how positive you are this change will change someone’s life for the best. Best of luck out here Gamers!

[@usagibb_]

i love how dr.k is so down to the earth and empathetic

[@FinalTry]

Its so hard tho to just "change your life", taking the step out from the things you know and keeping your life that way takes incredible strength.

[@lunaticuschannel8064]

Real as shit , I loved weed ever since a teen but it seems like everytime I over indulge for months at a time even if it’s only at night after work , I wake up like shit sleep like shit, vomit in the morning because of acid reflux an then I choose not to smoke an free ball life an physical work load all day just to get High at night enjoy it an then feel the same thing the next day , I’ve quit 3 times an this last time really taught me to enjoy what I have because I do have a gift of willpower an strength to connect me with others and be the light in the room instead of barely shining an being so closed to myself in the slump I was in , I pray all of you overcome the weaknesses in your lives , you are loved , an if you need to hear it , I’m proud you made it this far , you can only move forward brothers an sisters ❤️

[@TahirKhan-dh2vz]

The addiction workshop was really helpful. This video is a good reminder/review of what we learned over 10 hrs in the span of 2 days. I still remember the std confession story /example 😞 and with either outcomes of acceptance/rejection we can grow stronger 💪💯

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Glad you got something out of it! 💚

[@Vexuis]

It’s hard to be sober when it’s like you said and I feel completely just done with everything and I remember when I quit weed in August I went 43 days without it and then took one hit and it made my depression worse and my anxiety worse as well so I stopped smoking again but didn’t count days and then probably a week ago I got into delta 8 as a substitute to “not feel this way” but tbh I think I’m just lost and have NO idea what to do in life and the friends I do have I don’t really relate to and they smoke so I usually fall back into smoking even tho I don’t like it so my life is just constantly negative thoughts and doubts and anxiety that I have to the point where I will avoid almost anything that makes me uncomfortable so my question is will my dopamine levels slowly go back to normal if I smoke here and there or should I just do nothing and feel depressed and can’t hold a job nor want one. I know I have issues and I did therapy for a couple months and wasn’t really seeing any impact in a positive way. And yea I hate wanting help from others and the biggest reason for me is the anxiety of asking and feeling like a burden. Sorry for this long message I’m just struggling a lot with this weed stuff and I smoked everyday when I was 14-16 and then quit for a year and a half but was smoking nicotine and I haven’t smoked nicotine in years because I quit that to so I just really don’t know what to do about this because if I take ssris then to me that’s just a different kind of drug with more side effects then weed so I just give up.

[@dora47977]

Don’t give up-weed can be addictive, and that’s not your fault. I understand how you feel because I’ve been in a very similar place. The difference is that I have a son who depends on me and teaches me so much about myself every day. I’m slowly beginning to understand the reasons behind my smoking, and I’ve started to realize that in those moments, smoking can never truly give me what I’m looking for. Little by little, I’m learning to make the right choices in those critical moments and to simply embrace how I feel instead of giving in to the pressure. It feels empowering because when I’m sober, I’m a better mother. And I want to prove to myself that I have the strength to live a healthier life and won’t let myself become the cause of my own suffering.

[@Dolritto]

First of all - big respect for overcoming fear of asking for help man, as even if You don't consider it much of achievement now such acts add up in subconscious mind and they will add momentum at some point of Your progress. Being sick thinking about what is meant to be the very medication for the sickness is a particularly nasty state and You have won that battle today. People may not like this approach, but I'll give it anyway - if You can't drop thc for now, aknowledge that it flips switches in part of the brain that is tasked with forming habbits, therefore amplifying whatever You do and use it for Your advantage. If You aren't doing much while being high by Yourself, but it makes more things in life enjoyable, then You can make some loose plan of what You'd like to try to do, but kinda pushed to the back, for Your next session. People often fall in trap that we want to do something cool while high, sure thing, but the barrier of preparing things before what we consider the actuall activity is just too much and then it's easy to loose motivation and go with mellow self acceptance that it's not happening this time, so prepare something simple before smoking; if You know You'll get bored after some time, get couple pilles of things to do and go with the flow. If You start at least day before and catch Yourself wanting to do the thing - try not doing it; if You continue nothing bad will happen, but it's exercise in delayed gratification and You're leaving future Self something fun to wait for and even singular such activity weekly gives more vissible time framing to whole month, so days don't merge in one timeless mess. For example You wanted to try drawing/painting, but You have to clean the table, search for items around Your room, maybe buy this one thing You wanted to use and procrastinated shopping and have to search for tutorial video that would feel interesting to try out (this is totally not a clear projection and I'm glad that You posted, cause I could trick myself to just give deserved compassionate description of the process to someone else, bypasing self doubt entirelly, so now I "only" gotta take my own advice lol). To dopamine, it's a complicated personal equation and You have to observe Yourself over time and search for all things that build up around this feeling of not wanting anything, cause I've seen opinions in range from daily smokers being business owners and high achieving private life and ones stating that if they smoke a J their mind gets clouded for couple weeks and they feel slower; I'm willing to trust both and all between. You don't know about some of things that make a bigg difference, but it's possible to reliably look around for them; for complex thought patterns and mini traumas running unconsciously check out shadow work if You haven't tried it before - it's challenging but very fullfilling process around the idea that mind runs predictions on wastly outdated memories and they can get taken appart and integrated as part of our lifes story without hurting anymore. There are also dumb simple fixes that will cash You out almost free progress - for example I just recently googled vitamins defficiency around some smaller phisical issues I noticed but didn't addressed. It costs more than I thought it will per month and it discouraged me, but I had money on junkfood and such, so I gaslighted myself that I'm basically buying buff potions like in RPGs and only difference is that I don't see numbers stacking up on my abilities, but the extra is there to be gamified and minmaxed. Holy shit it does make a vissible difference after 2 weeks and requires only ~3-4mins daily. And there is more of such things that I just don't notice for now, I know there is. Another thing is that You can try adding some cbd to what You usually get and switch part of delta 8 for that. Sure it doesn't get high, but mind will get tricked with smell, whole ritual of preparing if You let it and it takes some edge of anxiety and urge to unglue Yourself from the reality. HG has playlist with meditations, give it a try if You haven't - for my personal experience Doc did unimaginably fantastic thing with connecting certain tehniques to what he considered to be the expected fastest perceived benefit. I couldn't get started while thinking about it as exercise that spawns random mental effects over non predictable time frame, while taking my daily time and effort - just like I could never work out if pump after didn't exist and I somehow couldn't know which exercise stimulates which muscle group even in the general area. Dr K stated to choose one style and go for it - didn't work for me, experimented with 3 by picking what I felt drive towards for the day, sometimes going couple days without, sometimes more, it made me feel bad. However. Sharing the journey is not required, You are the only person that can put a label on particular quantity of progress stating it's inconsistence and not enough - opinions of others are all comming through us and I'm guilty of letting it all burn in my soul hurting beyond reason from time to time despite all the work, but It's just part of Mind trying to keep the water flow steady to how pumps were set, pretending that the boss drowning chained ro the floor is part of work ethic in this company - it isn't, You are enough, You possess the capability for change, You can pick things to achieve and they too will be enought, You can slowly rewrite unwanted chains of thought. I started with Meditation to Take Action as I felt it's the easiest and got me to no thought state in couple tries, later tried Processing Emotions - great one to attack stuck feelings, as it basically ignores having to even remember events and taking them appart to gain understanding for our actions and motives, it targets only bare feelings. Couldn't melt it whole away and now it works only on current feeling, so hit a plateu, but more than half of what I perceived as logical negative views collected through life is just not there anymore. We can't trust the Brain to not warp reality for us, as best wingmen in existence it always gets our backs by engineering feeling horrible to look like a perfectly reasonable approach to life. To not Feel Like a Failure was helpfull despite the title being a nice self burn - at the begining it may be hard, as it forcess mix between current physical & mental state to show itself all at once, which may get very crushing, but after it's played through people commented feeling better

[@RaneEirlys]

Weird thing to comment here but if someone outside of you ends a relationship, they did it because of the judgement formed within themselves regarding whatever reason they had. Like whether they left for the right or wrong reasons, they reason they left is still them. It's almost like taking the free will of the person who made the choice away. Like it makes more sense to say like..."You're the reason you got out of a relationship that wasn't good for you and im proud of that" than to say "it's their fault you left em bc they like video games too much"

[@thecrazymuzician1]

I almost feel this way about food right now. It’s hard to cut a sugar out of the diet. Great video!

[@madefromstardust2250]

What a helpful video Dr. K. Thank you!

[@supremeape2549]

the recognition of strong man fantasy helped me a lot i realized every time life gets hard i go to addiction

[@mr.parker8014]

Great work, I'll try to put this in to practice

[@jameskreitzburg3621]

I bet you I have a stubborn pride in me somewhere, but I can’t put it to words yet. Good video.

[@LyraeOSile]

Don't bend the rules is the hardest for me😕 Thank you so much again for your help.

[@felix4790]

Me too! Thinking back to how sneaky and tricky my mind was (and still is) at bending the rules, where it tries to convince me not only will it be okay, but in fact, is a good idea for my future self.

[@LyraeOSile]

@felix4790 Yes exactly!!

[@laffeybunn8557]

LETS GOOOO NEW UPLOAD AND NEW STREAM VOD

[@ConoverBombJr]

I’m watching this from the perspective of a survivor of narcissistic abuse. I’ve long suspected that the definition of narcissism is an inability to self-validate, leading to an overbearing addiction to external validation, which in turn leads to all the same destructive behaviors as a substance abuser. Would you say that’s accurate? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

[@datguy6745]

For everyone wanting to quit Smoking: Nicorette gums actually are working for me to stop the cravings. I tried them yesterday for the first time in 15 years of smoking and they are pretty good. I was surprised myself and i recommend everyone giving them a try. They really are a great alternative to use for a bit and gradually decrease the use. I use the 2mg nicotine ones. They leave this weird sensation in your mouth, kindof like it gets a little numb and the act of chewing them is a really good replacement for holding a cigarette and puffing on it.

[@zurizoraya8672]

6:22 Bro, I was literally thinking this just last week when some bad stuff happened. . I fell into some bad thoughts of ending everything because I felt like couldn't exist like this the rest of my life. . I hate when I fall into these states because technically I'm supposed to be better now and no longer depressed. I realize its a journey though and there's levels. Things are definitely better but when you do fall into those states of mind it does seem like it'll be that way forever.

[@Sunsetglitch]

As someone who lives with an addict (and is an alcoholic).. I've heard him say this before. "My life is terrible without it, I'd rather die". Even reminding him this is temporary does nothing. He is extraordinarily smart, getting a PhD right now. Def hard to use logic on him.

[@Sara-x6t3s]

He is right though, that IS how it feels, that is an addicts reality. If it wasn't why on earth would it be the only thing he has left? His drinking is the solution to a problem you don't know about or understand, an insecurity or fear. He has to figure out what it is doing for him and learn to meet that need in another way.

[@literallynustiu]

Personally , last year on new years eve ive told myself ill not smoke. I stopped and the craving around christmas got so so big i cave in, but promising myself and telling my friend who smokes, that he will give me only 3, ill always smoke in awkward positions, and ill have to pay for a round of drinks each time. Bad thing i had money so payed for 3 rounds but since then i forgot completly about cigs, i know its only been 2 weeks but it feels easier, easier than the 1st year. What i want to say is, if you really really but really can not, try to wait 1 hour, then 1 day. If its been like this for 1 week and you are out of will power, dont completly blame yourself, try again, now with more experience but dont try to create more excuses. Currently fighting scrolling addiction, i need a video or music constantly in my ears when doing stuff otherwise ill not touch laundry, dishes, or anything else. I have tons of blocker but ive found the stupidest work arounds which also me finds a way to beat. I really want to be more present and create rather than consume.

[@jean-claudephilgence8371]

My problem is picking the reward, I don't know what to reward myself with.

[@Tangi_ENT]

2:53 - chat, we might be cooked.

[@ke8mattj]

One of the issues with 12 step meetings is if you want to quit nicotine, it'll be extremely hard since almost everyone in those groups are smokers. A few ones I took patients to actively encouraged it.

[@Vaillant.87]

This is so great!

[@Kunzopolis]

great and fascinating video, thanks! 💙

[@Tangi_ENT]

4:11 - 😧 and I shattered. Well, not only do I NOT want counselling (terrible opsec) but I also just can’t afford it.

[@TheinMoka]

You sounded a little under the weather today! Hope you take good care of yourself. But thank you for the great video. :)

[@livipup]

Hey, wait, those rules are the same things I did to get better after my BPD diagnosis :O And I watched this video right after another of yours titled "How To Defuse Procrastination And Be Productive (Without Using Willpower)". I realized I already do what you recommended in that video too. If I want to do something and I feel like I can't I try to focus on the positive outcomes of doing it and the negative outcomes of not doing it. If it's still too much I try to find a middle ground where it's still worth doing, but not as tiring. If I really didn't have the energy or ability to do everything then I stop at what I could do and don't beat myself up about it, but I often find that I do actually finish everything if I re-evaluate after doing whatever was "good enough" before. Heheh, this stuff works great >:) I guess it's just easy to fall into the trap of being a perfectionist. That's probably the next thing for me to work on. :)

[@Rhyno012345]

The intro to this video gives me “if you wish to make and apple pie from scratch, first you must invent the universe” vibes

[@OrangeMSN]

Y'all at HealthyGamerGG are doing an amazing job! I appreciate it!

[@orsitheawesome]

I tell people that if I could do it again, knowing what I know, Im glad I went through alcoholism and recovery. I don’t have words to express how much better I love myself and my life now! I would never be here without the struggle I went through. ❤ AA is a cult by the way, I recovered despite AA being g forced down my throat!! I loved the community it offered in the first 3 months, but I didn’t want to be trapped in the despair of dependence the cycling through the 12 steps promotes. Hope that helps ❤

[@nackedgrils9302]

What really made me understand how my addiction works is in that ''addiction is the result of your environment'' bit. I believe that this is in reference to the studies where they studied addiction in mice or rats and put them in cages by themselves with food, water and an unlimited cocaine dispenser. The animals would neglect everything else and keep using the drug until it'd kill them which looks very scary, but the thing is that they could not replicate the results when the mice/rats were grouped together. When they had the ability to socialize and engage in normal behaviours, they would only hit the drug dispenser from time to time and keep going about their lives... (This is the gist of the experiment from my memory, don't quote me on this.)

[@PhoenixsWorldVideos]

Me: *listening to this while drinking/doing drugs and playing COD Also me: "hmm interesting."

[@ivandfwm]

Kinda reminds me of the thought of going through hell week. You have to keep in mind that it's one minute at a time. It can feel overwhelming if you think and worry about the future obstacles and mission. At least when your going through something like that.

[@MoussakaChaos94]

Please make a video about finding ways to build your main "motivation to act" drives...

[@HealthyGamerGG]

You might like the VOD of the stream we just did today!!

[@kaajjaak]

@HealthyGamerGG UNGA BUNGA!

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Unga bunga indeed, @@kaajjaak . Unga bunga indeed.

[@boristrofimov58]

whoa, did not expect a "dr K asmr" video out of this!

[@fetilu0975]

Hope this video mentions neuropsychology and how addictions can lead to long-lasting EF deficiencies that need to be adressed before engaging in any "self-help" therapy. Addicts can be no different than people with TBI or dementia. Check out results from my university (e.g., Pierre Maurage) if that interests any if you !

[@BRRRETO]

@@fetilu0975 why comment on a video you haven’t watched?

[@taymustard620]

Hey dr k I have a question. I have dealt with meth and porn addiction and I want to recover my reputation as a person which im doing, but I was wondering how forgiveness and other people's feelings play a role in that. I know i have to forgive myself, but i feel like I'll forever be branded as a bad person because of the choices I made through addiction. Any advice?

[@abcdefzhij]

Regarding point #4: What if I'm in a situation where I can't actually do anything to get away from my overbearing parents who cause me stress (which in turn makes it harder for me to have the energy to act in a good way instead of a bad one)?

[@mazuru27-jl8zw]

The thing is, I don't know who to ask for help or how to even, and therapy is out of my league since I am a student and I don't have any money so instead of saying I am strong if I get over my addiction by myself, Its I have to get it over by myself or else I always will be stuck

[@Luca_Munz]

For me quitting game addiction was pretty much just quitting playing cod.

[@stoner4311]

NA has a 10% sucess rate and at best just replaces your addiction from drugs to NA. It doesnt investigate underlying mental issues that will keep bringing you down. You need to work on your addiction like a full time job and it is hard. But NA can also be a good source of information to help you get sober but not stay sober.

[@Catodemon]

I fell in love with someone who was a former alcoholic. When we started dating he started having a gambling addiction and became financially irresponsible and made it hard for me to see having a future with him. I am not an addictive person but I tried so hard to understand him. I tried to get us to go get help together but he didn’t want to do it. I just want to know from someone who cares about an addict what should you do? I ended up breaking up with him but I feel so guilty for doing it. I still care about him and I’m so worried about him.

[@fireroum]

Thank you Dr K.

[@voska7390]

I've tried to quit smoking for so many time. I found something. I'm on spectrum and smoking is stim. I often quit and have little issue beyond the 1st day. Then I have melt down, I don't have them often but when I do I end up smoking again. I didn't realize that was what was going on. I never occurred to me that this was how it happened. It's like I'm a different person after melt down for few hours.

[@lobserionia]

Why do you smoke? When did you start smoking? Who told you to smoke? How did you start smoking? There is always a reason why you do this.

[@AznDudeIsOn]

Interesting perspective on relying on help

[@AznDudeIsOn]

stop using addictions as a form of emotional regulation / self worth / accepted by another human being

[@videnz2664]

just know the pleasure in an addiction isn't forever and in the end it will only cause you pain an it will take away all the little pleasures of real life

[@kajiko88]

8:51 what if my family is what fuels my bad habits rather than my friends? Do I just move out then?

[@RikiB]

Amazing video but man I hate these intro teases that cut off like that. I guess it works because I see it everywhere these days. "The most important thing is..." - me furiously skipping throu the video to find the rest before I forget the first part. 😅 It's not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, content is definitely worth it. ❤

[@kuriyama-d4c]

its like table of contents but just like the book i skipped those and dive right in lol

[@BakrEvon]

I've not yet finished this video, but I did that dealmaking thing when I was exiting the military and moving home. I followed through, quitting vaping cold turkey before I went home, and it's worked somewhat well. Lasted for like a month, hit someone else's vape, then not for like 6 months, then again not for another 6. I've found what works for me, regarding nicotine or any thing that makes my brain go "Woohoo oh my god this is AWESOME AHHH" like nicotine and other substances is to not have easy access to them, and never let them be in my house. I'll never go buy a vape again, but oh boy when I hit a friends every couple months it is so awesome So probably still an addict, but very limited scope

[@BakrEvon]

AH well there you go Military = feel like nonstop shit and the amokedeck was only option to escape Now, no need to escape, only have a good time for infrequent intervals

[@shayanabbasmamdani9606]

Is this a reupload of a member live stream?

[@HealthyGamerGG]

Not quite - this video includes part of the 10-hour live addiction workshop we did a few months back!

[@Tangi_ENT]

The addicts gonna FIGHT to avoid this one 😮‍💨, but they will watch it nonetheless 👀. Good job viewer, you did great today. You chose well.

[@Anthony-ru7sk]

Dr. K, i think you might have convinced me to atleast start to consider, cutting back on the weed.

[@sabastian3022]

I was addicted to nicotine from Freshman year of high school (2018) to 2023. I’m over 2 months clean now and I can say there’s a very very small chance I ever use it again. I had to develop a genuine hatred towards nicotine to quit. Quitting an addiction isn’t just waking up and deciding to go cold turkey, even though you have to do that at some point, but it’s a process. It’s dissecting your addiction until it clicks and you realize your brain is fucking stupid and it’s doing nothing but draining your bank account. That first week a lot of gum was chewed and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but it was so worth it. Fight the good fight. Keep going y’all can do it!