Parent Empathy and Bad Therapists

[@Theinfamouskiki411]

Dr honda has made me a better parent, person. I dropped a toxic, traumatizing relationship. Did some serious soul searching and going thru the process of healing getting help and recognizing my attachment issues due to my childhood. I found this channel based on reality shows but came out with much more than just entertainment!

[@PsychologyInSeattle]

I'm so glad!

[@alospm]

Same. I’m so grateful to have stumbled upon this channel.

[@AurorasWindow]

I had a traumatic childhood due to being autistic and not knowing, plus my parents having a horrible violent relationship. I don’t like kids and I didn’t want to have a family growing up. I was one of those people who get very annoyed by a crying child in a restaurant. I have a very strong response to a crying baby. However, once I became a parent myself that changed for my child. I still don’t like kids and I still get annoyed by their cries, but as soon as I had my child I realized he was his own person and would never want him to go through what I went through. It’s hard work to work around my own trauma and I’ve had to learn a lot about parenting, but I’ve tried to be a respectful parent and don’t use violence on my child and my parents used on me. I think for a lot of us traumatized adults, we tried to not continue the cycle. It is possible to stop the generational trauma.

[@Discrete1998]

Yay! I love episodes with Bob ❤❤ I love the sincerity and depth he brings.

[@Theinfamouskiki411]

Me too

[@KidOmega-iv4tp]

I resonate with being emotionally neglected and being verbally, emotionally and physically abused throughout my life. However, I have quite the opposite reaction as "Gaia" to, for instance, a crying child in a public space. I feel a strong empathic response to wait to soothe the child, and living in a climate where overt incivility to other people, children include, is so common as to be ignored, I feel even more strongly for the wounded, crying, saddened, lonely, affected child. Of course, as a stranger, I have no way to intervene, but I feel their pain. I remember, in small ways, being that young and feeling as alone.

[@ms-corleone]

Well, Gaia, I hear you. I was on the fence for many years about having kids, with each year wanting kids less. Finally I felt the pressure of age, and decided to go for it. It was not what I expected in many ways, but the weird thing is that it gave me a chance to parent differently (almost reparent myself), and extremely healing. It’s not all bubblegum and unicorns - I revert to known behavior when I’m extremely frustrated and stressed. Kids or not, I hope you find a lot of healing ❤. Uffa, ‘ste mamme del c*!

[@Authentistic-ism]

glad to hear you're scaling back the media a bit. my question was about to be "why do more of it when you miss the balance of seeing clients" but that's exactly what you addressed next.

[@OnsceneDC]

My mom is borderline and does the same thing. Always looking for an audience for her complaining. Being the constant target of her woes and animosity was a lot growing up.

[@calni27]

What about young women who have a negative self perception around their looks, can it be useful to give them positive feedback about their appearances? So nothing to do with sexual attraction but can there be a therapeutic value in telling a client they are good looking?

[@dassijes5943]

I think it may be better to address the fear there, like if someone thinks they are not good looking and therefore fears they are undesirable or unlovable, maybe help them see that they are indeed desirable without commenting on their looks precisely? Kind of what Bob says he did.

[@storiesfromthelionsmane5158]

Very interesting topic on the compliments from the therapist. I’m a coach, not a therapist. What I found interesting is that the therapist had assigned a self esteem issue and that he might have been giving a compliment in that aspect, not necessarily an attraction to the client. In just 5 sessions when the client initially mentioned a level of concern about working with a male therapist and “women’s issues” I would like to think that the therapist would be holding back on the compliment until understanding that more about what that is and means. It could be seen as triggering/aggressive/confusing to a client and inhibit the growth of trust in such an early stage of therapy.

[@MegaGreencarebear]

Litmus test for having a kid: I spent a lot of time looking after my niece. After that I knew I wanted a kid. Previously I felt ambivalent.

[@dassijes5943]

This test is working for me too, in the opposite direction! My nephew is a cutie but it’s solidified for me that I don’t want to be a parent, just a cool aunt :)

[@M.K12144]

Dr Honda: I’ve been scaling back on KZbin so work life balance is getting better. Also Dr. Honda… posts 3-4 reaction videos a day. 😅😅 What were you doing before? Take care of yourself sir!

[@rw4754]

I have had friends like this. Exhausting to have to fawn & sooth all the time. They are so manipulative & controlling. I understand now why DSM has BPD as a subset of NPD. Maybe they just need to get over themselves already.

[@cjgroom109]

sounds like you don't exactly understand...

[@greendragon4058]

Well on the happy side I flew down to Texas last year for my granddaughter's wedding and to see and meet my 13 year old granddaughter I've never met and we had a great time. My thirteen-year-old granddaughter is on the Spectrum she's a sweet as can be and is really good at karate. We sat in the car all the way to the hotel and I just talked to her just about stuff and I'd given my granddaughter her great-grandmother's piece of jewelry and bought similar pieces for the entire girls having their family. When it was time to leave I asked my youngest granddaughter if I could give her a hug and she said yes. My oldest daughter looked at me and she said Mom she doesn't give anybody a hug. My daughter is a child psychologist and she had this young man who is also in the Spectrum and she used to take care of him for about five years and he would come up to me and hug me and my daughter and that was it, besides his parents. I ran into him at the store and I went up to him and I gave him a hug and he gave me a huge hug. The caretaker at the time she scolded me and scolded him, I looked at her and I said you know what we have been family friends since he was a little boy. And she took him by the hand in this night by this time he's 23 she took him by the hand and just drop them off. I then proceeded to call his mom and she said that she wanted a different caretaker for her son.

[@dassijes5943]

I’ve missed Bob ❤

[@Theinfamouskiki411]

Regarding the attraction thing. Thats so weird. Is that a therapist thing? Or a man thing? Im not a therapist but i have worked with attrsctive guys and it was barely a thought. Also, depending on where you live attractive women dont have to beat men off. I think that is such an over exaggeration in entertainment and in mens heads. My sister in law looks like barbie and she is single and lives her life unbothered

[@calni27]

I wonder about that too, I suspect it is a male therapist problem. I wonder if universities address the issue and acknowledge sex differences.

[@haileyoslund]

It can happen to anyone regardless of gender because experiencing attraction is a human experience. Like Dr. Honda said, he doesn’t have an issue with it for whatever reason and many people might not. I’m a female therapist and have experienced this before but it was very surface level. It’s completely normal in therapy.