Psychopath or Trauma Victim? Autistic or Schizoid? Borderline Anyone?

[@tabitha4048]

I never realized that I used language the way you described. It definitely gets worse for me if I feel defensive or threatened, but even when I'm not emotionally upset- my language is still highly precise and clinical because I view it as effective and honest. I'm describing things the easiest way for others to understand, and when I curse usually it's an attempt to relate to others. I think trying to study intellectually how "normal" people communicate doesn't help my tendency to communicate this way around non-autistic people. It's more difficult to come up with non-professional/intellectual scripts the casual than ones that come easily to most others.

[@elija6582]

and there is nothing wrong with that

[@catsalive9572]

My mum shows schizoid, my dad shows paranoid narcissist. Had 8 kids of which all have some form of these 4 conditions and plenty of abuse and neglect trauma. It was a tortuous childhood but of course I can say it matter of fact. At least 5 of the children have signs of schizoid. 2 overtly display narcissism and I'm sure there's more borderline and narcissism in there but it's super complicated working it all out. I've been working it out for 12 years. The lack of true communication is a massive one. Unbearable trying to get an answer out of them. I'm having a problem myself trying to communicate to my bosses boss who is extremely senior and my paranoid part thinks I'll lose my job because of not being able to answer direct questions about results and what I'm doing. I wish I could just talk properly!! Thank you Sam for your information. It's finally bringing me answers and some peace to the decades of chaos. I've shared this information with the siblings I do talk to save them a few years of work.

[@lunhgh9788]

Thank you Prof. Sam Vaknin for another amazing video!You really nailed it with describing how these individuals react with professionals. I couldn't make eye contact, became defensive, kept distance, if they asked me a question I answered back with a question. I didn't even realise my behaviour could be viewed as hostile or passive agressive.

[@stevexie2705]

I think for the autistic it depends on if they have comorbidities. A 'pure' autistic (which btw is rare) will, in fact, present similarly to the other three. However, given that HF ASD often presents with at least one co-occuring conditions in the majority of cases the clinician will not see the 'flat affect', but instead inappropriate or even dysregulated affect. Aspergers + ADHD will often come on as too strong and intense, Aspergers + a mood disorder will have a negative affect more than a flat affect.

[@franacha]

I have PTSD from my childhood, I don't know if it is that much but it's there. I could really start to relate here 4:33. Not showing emotions, either positive or negative, I push people away, I don't have an emotional barrier, I have an outstanding defense system that keeps me emotionally safe from every person. I have done a lot of therapy, cognitive, psychoanalysis, biocodification. I can open up to them but I always have my defenses ready. Also with all the self-loathing and self-hating. When it comes to socializing, it takes me a while to get to know people, but I can eventually open up. The problem is that this process takes so much time that I have a really hard time making friends. (I think that I have never made friends by myself, it's always extroverted people that come and befriend me and then they introduce me to their friends) Also my body language is always extremely defensive as well. And I don't seem to be able to change it consciously. I have lost friends over the years, and for some reason it doesn't seem to bother me, but the fact that it doesn't bother me bothers me, shouldn't I feel at he very least some sadness? I also fear that I will never be able to approach women. Let alone flirting. And therefore, I will never be able to have a relationship. I will forever live a loveless life, and that makes me want to not live at all.

[@franacha]

Overall I've found this video really helpful when my anxiety kicks in and I start seeing sings that I could be undiagnosed borderline or vulnerable narcissist. I'm just having a hard time dealing with my traumas

[@ffii7773]

Do not despair. You have self-awareness. There are social forces beyond our control that reinforce illness. If you are exhausted mentally, work with your body. Play and exercise may not feel intellectually stimulating, but the physiological changes will help to support a different character structure.

[@ashleyjenkins1672]

I'm a definite trauma victim diagnosed PTSD nudged in the direction of CPTSD and my nurse practioner says I also show traits of schizoid. Sometimes I feel like a psychopath, but I remember my teen years and I'm far from one. I'm just a bit emotionally numb due to trauma. I am debatably not schizoid as I did want friends in later adulthood, but was a combination of bullied with little social skills. I do have flat effect since I was about 10 years old toward things that don't interest me and I score very high on self administered autism tests (40 out of 50 on CAT-Q), but as a 33 year old female, the subject is scantily approached. I found this video interesting as sometimes I feel like a psychopath when interacting with others and I don't feel anything, but I'm really just reluctant to portray or allow myself to feel emotions due to trauma. The topic of avoidant personality could also be broached in this conversation as an adaptation to trauma and possible misdiagnosis just like schizoid personality.

[@anjachan]

I feel a little offended to be in one pot with a psychopath LOL but interesting to think about that topic.

[@seojung4152]

One more thing about autistic spectrum: male and female are totally diferents subjects at clinical study, so asperger never forget traumas becouse his/her memory dont let him or she forget; I said it´s becouse I am female asperger, but I agree that I need dictionary language, I do not understand neurotypical language.

[@josephinesyoutubechannel1770]

Thank you for this video. Got a question, can someone with Schzoid Personality Disorder just discard their partner out of the blue? I'm asking because I never got closure from an ex that I highly suspect has Schzoid Personality Disorder. It was just a complete mindful**k because everything seemed 100% normal in our 2 years together, than one evening at 10pm, he calmly told me out of no where that he got his own apartment and was moving out the next day. I got over the end of every other relationship I was in eventually because I had closure. This one relationship has just messed with my mind so much, he looked legitimately confused why I was so hurt and angry. It felt like he changed into a complete stranger in a manner of minutes. Earlier on that day, he was cuddling with me. I just want to move on and get him out of my head!

[@lunhgh9788]

Hi ,hope I can help.Absolutely , they can. Shizoid, Avoidant PDs and Autism share one common trait and that is avoidance. This is what I commonly do. I wouldn't start arguments with someone or try to resolve it. If I have problems with that person I just leave and stop communication completely. And there were situations where I just erased some people from my life for no reason!This is commonly known as " burning bridges ". That is why it is really hard to keep this trio in therapy because if therapist says one wrong word we will never come back.

[@Lolipop8686]

Hey there. Your comment is quite old but I will try... how are you doing now? I hope you have been able to overcome what happened to you (sorry for that!). I can relate a little bit with your experience, since I also suspect my ex was schizoid (although to be honest I keep going back and forth between schizoid, covert narcissistic, avoidant attachement.. it is difficult to draw the line). Do you mind me asking if you felt also devaluated at times in the relationship? does the cycle of devaluation also showed up in your relationship? or did you ex show narcissistic traits at times? What did it make you believe he was schizoid (and eg. not narcissistic etc)? I am aware that the label does not do much heal the pain, but I guess it can give some closure as as you said, my breakup was also a completely mindf*..

[@annadraper26]

Thank you so much for sharing Your Knowledge

[@preshizmp5797]

Regarding the psychopath holding “Everyone” in contempt, does this include his mother?

[@samvaknin]

Not always. Some psychopaths idealize their mothers.

[@moonfruit7587]

Your talks are excellent. I would have appreciated you clarifying the point about it being primarily women who are the victims of CPTSD. That is, this is the case because, generally speaking (and the generalisation is warranted here), women with CPTSD are the victims of abuse from men.

[@manmanman4825]

He is just wrong about this. Men and women are equally likely to suffer from CPTS and they were just as likely abused by women and there mostly by their mothers.

[@Ida-dx3mr]

and women are probably more likely to actually get diagnosed or seek mental health help. so many men suffer in silence

[@amandanichols375]

Always brilliant! Always a pleasure. Thank you for all the fine work you’re doing and recommendations. Really enjoyed The Mask Of Sanity. Building up a library. Early childhood illnesses and medical history seem relevant in determining autism, particularly the GI issues, picky eating, proprioception, Alexithymia, allergies/disordered and restricted eating, tonsillectomies, enemas for constipation, chronic diarrhea, dermatillomania or other hand stimming, sensitivities ( textures, clothing, light, sound, temperature) dyspraxia /gait issues/spinal alignment and connective tissue disorders, speech therapy, developmental delays to name a few. Then the social aspects as a child or precocious nature/ mannerisms. Were there one on one friendships rather than groups? Easily rejected when friend played with someone else? Won’t go into nutritional healing of gut dysbiosis for cytokine storm/chronic inflammation but that has been the biggest help for all of it. And releasing trauma from the body. . Healing from MCAS/JHS/POTS.. Cptsd and autoimmune illnesses were the result post withdrawal from 20 years on ssri/snri. It eventually led to undiagnosed autism in family system ten years later. Started with atypical familial narcissistic abuse after waking to cptsd/agoraphobia/nightmares/insomnia. Heal from meds and then what put you on meds in the first place., right? Well It’s neurological! It’s being Immunocompromised . Autism is autoimmune in my opinion. Larger ordeal is getting this autism diagnosis in NYC as an adult. We don’t grow out of it. We end up sitting ducks for controlling, abusive types. We end up disabled, underemployed and shattered to pieces. Still no cptsd in DSM. It would implicate parents and they’re paying the bill. Child/teen blaming system set up here. Parents feel the shame for their “ broken” child and punish child for being imperfect. Here was the order: : preteen 1. Dysthymia( really pmdd-endocrine dysfunction . Was too anxious/unfocused to stay depressed!) -Prozac. 2. Late teen- Bipolar -lithium, trilofon, Prozac. BAD reaction to that anti psychotic!!! Sounds reverberated for a couple of hours every day. Then I found BPD whilst studying Ab Psych early 20’s. Didn’t quite fit but closest thing. Gestalt therapy-Zoloft, Wellbutrin. Mom didn’t like me telling therapist things that made her look bad. All the while eliminating more and more foods ( dairy, citrus, wheat, grasses-beer, chamomile, nightshades then shower gels, soaps household products etc etc,) Repeated traumas. Then in UK late 20’s- citalopram, venlaflaxine (Effexor-awful to wean from. Slowly over 7 months) Brain zaps. Last med. Most nightmares over the years were of oral surgeries/dental visits or school hallways when the bell rings and they’d flood with students. School bullies present though they weren’t really my problem-home was! Anxious at home/school-no reprieve. One recurring arty” surreal” nightmare with being chased around my back yard and being screamed at. Lots of yelling that went on for hours. Can’t remember what a single one was about. Dissociated and would bang my head which made mother angrier. “ Don’t break my cabinets!” Sisters learned to stay quiet. When next sister became target I stepped in to protect her. She lived with me at ‘surrogate mothers’ home to escape her. Quite a forgiving person or else too adhd and hopeful of people. Not so much these days. I see most as a traumatized children now. I suss their insecure attachment wound and codependency. I’ve regularly used the expression “ like pulling teeth’ just to get my own childhood medical history from mother. Had to be minimal contact for that reason. She attacks when questioned about anything. Know others like this too. She is traumatized by my being autistic. She can’t let go of how hard it was for her to be my mother. Seriously! Still blaming me, that woman child. I initially kept myself alive to spite her. Learned recently of the W.A.S.P Triad - Edward Hallowell-alcoholism, mental illness and politeness. Just the one in my working class Irish /Polish ancestry-mental. No booze. Flippant and sarcastic. Went to church every week. She worked at the church. No ‘I love You’s’ until I started saying it in my suicidal ideation from abroad . No being read books. No stories of their childhoods AT ALL. That was weird to realize . Who are these people who raised me? It was also my fault for never having asked them. Ha! Luckily, lots of photographs my dad took. They’ve helped a lot for catching signs, one being incessant squinting ( light sensitivity) and my finger picking. One Final clue was dads echolalia of movie line to my self abusive OCD habit. I finally saw the film the line came from! Mind blown!! That’s where he got that phrase! Thought he’d made it up. Orphan with a family. This ,undiagnosed, has destroyed my entire family system. No aunts, uncles, cousins from the social reciprocity deficits or what seems like selfishness/narcissism. Bonkers experience I’m grateful to have survived. Wish I could “ play” more these days . Play was drawing. Been hard to come back to Art. You get addicted to learning once you get your brain back, are sober and survived years of loneliness in a new city. Goal nowadays is joining in again without any ‘masking’ to fit in. Grateful to have found your work before ASD. You really are a gem, Dr. Sam Vaknin. Oh, and that was my other name for awhile . Something about Sammy always made my smile. I’ve felt like a gay man in a women’s body, the son she never had. Autism in Heels book by Jennifer Cook O’Toole was the first book to help explain this male brained experience. My friends were usually male, gay, older or younger. I take the fact that I’m one of four daughters with a toxic feminine energy into account. Apologies for novella. Many thanks 🙏

[@My_House_]

What if an autistic person "walks" into one or multiple trauma because he/she simply not seeing or/and feel it? Will the person have or act from trauma or will trauma not emerge?

[@saa1094]

I don’t know if there is a clinically researched answer to this, but as someone who was diagnosed with HF-ASD, CPTSD, and DID after a recent horrible trauma, I went into complete shock and lack of any affect for a month after the trauma. Then I had a complete meltdown/shutdown, at which point I definitely displayed trauma response(s) and ended up hospitalized for a few weeks. My defense mechanisms are mostly back up now, but I’m trying to work through them and not stay inaccessible to myself or the therapist(s). It is not easy; staying numb instead of feeling the lain and trauma seems easiest and most effective for survival - until I can’t stay numb anymore.

[@stevo946]

Can there be a combination of the four?

[@amarieg5]

Autistics can also have a PD & trauma disorder

[@oliyaaelle]

Plz mention idealism in bpd here. Do they hv ideal figure?

[@jgalebrubeck1838]

Brilliant and completely true. Fancy dancer round talkers! ✌❤🖖

[@Mizzie888]

Thank you! I think of some of the people I’ve worked with over the years that I could not tell if they bordered on Psychopathy! Just thinking Now There may be a couple who might have met the Psychopathy criteria 🙈🙈

[@paesitopaez4302]

Very interesting!

[@oakleycuddle]

Describing me

[@breeeesh]

Likewise my friend