What were the earliest signs that there was something different with your child? Ask a Parent

We all know someone with psychopathy.
psychopathyis....
/ psychopathyis
But few know the truth about it. We’re helping change that… by helping you know the signs. Know about treatment options and resources. And know you’re not alone.
Lillyth Quillan was the first parent to publicly use her name and her face and say she was the mother of a child with Conduct Disorder. In 2014, she created and founded Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder (PCCD), a Facebook-based support group for parents and other caregivers of these children. Over the last six years, Lillyth has personally spoken or communicated with thousands of families. She remains as dedicated to the cause of including non-intimate partner violence in the national Domestic Violence conversation, early treatment for our children, and political action as the day she started PCCD.
Lillyth joined us on Zoom to discuss what it is like to have a child with Psychopathy.
/ parentsofchildrenwcd

[@nugget6635]

So first sign: Lack of fear, second sign: very aggressive, third sign: sadism.

[@316lvmnoneofyourbusiness7]

Should have a segment "When did you 1st become aware that your sibling was a psycho/sociopath?" My brother is a sociopath. Fearless, high pain threshold, disregards social norms, theft, lying, fire setting, playing with explosives, disregard for other people, shallow..... At age 3 he was lighting fires in the closet. Sticking things into electrical outlets 'cause he liked the sparks. My Mother would catch him and ask him why he was doing this. He'd lie and say he wasn't doing anything. He jumped from the couch to the table playing Batman and knocked out 3 of his teeth and fractured his upper jaw line. 24 hours later he was eating baby biscuits. At age 7, he tried to kill a kid on the playground by choking him. Took 2 male teachers to pull him off. Whenever we got into a fight he would grab a knife and chase me. My mom woke up one night to find him standing next to the bed with a knife. At that time, there were no psych wards for kids, so the hospital placed him in a locked room away from other patients. He was diagnosed with severe ADHD but my parent's didn't put him on medication. He burned insects with a magnifying glass. As a teen he tied makeshift parachutes to his pet hamsters and throw them out the window to see if the parachutes would work. He was making a smoke bomb in his room and it blew up. He lied constantly, stole things from stores, school and other kids. Then, in high school of his senior year, he tried to run someone over. He went to the car wash to remove any evidence but was caught anyway. The judge gave him the option of joining the military or going to jail. He enlisted in the Army - 82nd Airborne. He did 4 years and went reserve. We were living in Phoenix by then. It was summer - around 114 degrees - and he drove home from Sierra Vista with 10 pounds of plastic explosives in a plastic bag and put it in the freezer. My father always defended him, always bailed him out. He married twice and had 2 sons. The first son he has absolutely nothing to do with and never, ever paid child support. He's still married to his 2nd wife and the son from this marriage is the golden child. My younger brother and I haven't spoken to our brother nor our father in over 25 years.

[@animikhaghosh6536]

Sad for you😟😔😞

[@KatrinaDancer]

Sounds like an @$$h*l*. At least he makes you look really good lol

[@floatingsara]

Interesting to know that a person like your brother enlists willingly in the Army. Why doesn't this surprise me ? Hugs to you dear

[@oh_rhythm]

That's nuts man wtf Sounds like the spawn of Satan

[@cellsgirl4705]

I’m sorry… he was given the option to join the military after attempting to run someone over? What?

[@oh2887]

My child 19 just diagnosed. ( although i knew since very early on) mine got expelled from preschool too. No one understands the devastation. And i am sick and tired of people assuming abuse happened, as four children reared who are well balanced, loving and productive. It is soul destroying.

[@lemon1657]

Psychopaths are born so it's not your fault. Environmental abuse will make it worse but a psychopath will not "become better" in a loving home either so you're stuck either way. I'm sorry this happened to you.

[@bartoszwojciechowski2270]

@@lemon1657 Yeah, is it bad that I feel I could never love my child if they were born a psychopath? I would just be afraid of them all the time. I really don't know what I would do if something like that happened to me, I would probably try to give them up for adoption even though it sounds extremely selfish.

[@brh.1892]

@@bartoszwojciechowski2270 do you have children?

[@poetofnoreturn7708]

​@bartoszwojciechowski2270 it is understandable, but bad enough that you should never have children

[@HM-cp7gy]

I'm so sorry for you. My parents were very attentive and emotionally intelligent with us but my sister was born a psychopath. she was a violent child and teenager and then was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. we have wondered if it's genetic, since my paternal grandpa was apparently very similar to her in personality and was cruel. I consider myself emotionally intelligent too because of my parents. I have extreme anxiety which I believe came from growing up with my sister.

[@raindropsdi]

Pretty sure my brother had pretty intense psychopathic traits. Very difficult to grow up with. Thank you for sharing.

[@night8434]

tell us more about it, dear

[@HM-cp7gy]

same with my sister. I know what you mean. I now have extreme anxiety, and I think it developed from living in fear of my sister when I was very young. my parents told me they often found me hidden under furniture in tears

[@Vanessa-mo9ix]

@@HM-cp7gyOmg that’s so sad, what a horrible way to grow up,

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

My son was not allowed to go on field trips with the daycare. They had a male teacher assigned to him because he was the only one that could control him. Later, in 1st Grade, he achieved the status of the youngest child to ever be suspended from school. When the principal leaned over to ask him why he'd taken off across the playground to beat the crap out of another child, he responded "because my mom doesn't take me to church enough." Thus, transfering blame to me. The principal sat there with her jaw on the floor, later stating that her kids hate going to church.

[@FunkyMunky-w2m]

Well maybe he was trying to state the reality that he needs more Jesus

[@hyperhype1000]

Has he actually been diagnosed now? How is his behaviour today?

[@protectyourself33]

I have an over the top hypersensitive startle response. Next time someone complains about it I'm gonna tell them it's better than the alternative.

[@MondoBeno]

I knew three boys who may have been psychopaths. They had the following things in common: 1. Cruel behavior. 2. They seemed to find other people's emotions annoying. 3. They didn't have any hobbies, and had no appreciation for beautiful things. 4. They never seemed to get angry, impatient, startled, or afraid. One of them was incapable of making eye contact while speaking, and everything he said sounded forced and insincere.

[@zilch2653]

Inability to make eye contact and speaking in a forced and insincere manner sounds very much like autism and the antithesis of ASPD.

[@HM-cp7gy]

this sounds exactly like my sister, who was diagnosed as a psychopath in college. the only difference is that she actually makes very intense eye contact and will stare at random people to make them uncomfortable.

[@vladimirofsvalbard9477]

Cruel behavior isn't exactly a psychopathic trait. At the very least, those boys had no empathy. You can easily create boys like this with no father figure around.

[@rolisreefranch]

yes. they have no souls

[@user-cg7dg7uv8f]

I am definitely not a psychopath - my startle response is more pronounced than anyone I have ever met

[@leonvanschoor]

ok

[@erikaxchristine]

I feel for you! I can’t imagine. These videos will help so many other parents whose Children suffer with this.

[@asi859]

I don't know if the person stuffers but people around them suffer big time

[@PheonixStarsx]

My Reminder to get my tubes tied

[@lilo1981]

I'm an assistant teacher at a daycare. I knew one of my students for almost 2 years and i've never seen him cry from pain or sadness. He's 3 years old and he is getting really rough and hurtful to my other students. He doesn't apologize if he hurt someone, he gets mad. If we ask him to say sorry, he always just ask why.... He was mad that his younger brother was born and there is no connection between him and his sibling at all. He will purposely grab kids by the shirts, yell in their faces, scream at the top of his lungs and threaten kids and teachers. I feel like he lacks empathy. There are times where he can be a sweetheart but other times, he is a terror to be around. What can i do as a teacher to help?

[@Sunshine-my1vd]

I used to work in a children’s mental health facility. It was like a group home, but with psychiatrists, therapists, and a school. The kids there had similar behavior problems, their ages were 6 to 13, and they were diagnosed as being emotionally disturbed, among other things. I got to see with my own eyes how helpful mental health intervention can be for children. I’ve also had a chance to see what a lack of intervention can look like. My brother had behavioral problems growing up, but that was back in the 60s, and people just didn’t have the information that we have today. My parents didn’t know what was going on with him. My brother never got help for his condition, so he has lived a very troubled life, and hurt many people. He was already violent as a toddler, he started a fire in the garage when he was six, and by junior high, he was breaking into peoples homes. He got kicked out of the military for being violent, he’s been to jail many times, and he’s had a difficult time maintaining jobs and relationships. On the one hand, I love him, because he’s my brother, but on the other hand, I avoid him, because he hurt my children and threatened me. As for your student, I recommend asking the parents if they’re interested in getting some support, like family counseling or something. If this child has behavior problems at school, he’s definitely causing problems at home and stressing his family out, I know from experience. If you’re interested in the behavior modification techniques we used at the mental health facility, we used privileges as rewards or consequences for behavior. The four behaviors we encouraged were safety, cooperation, responsibility, and respect. For example, if a child had acted out violently and hurt another child, they would not be eligible to go on a field trip, because we couldn’t trust that they would be safe, because they weren’t demonstrating safe behavior. If they changed their behavior, then they would be able to go on the next field trip. Just an example. Thank you for taking such good care of these little ones. I loved the preschool that my kids went to. I appreciated the teachers who worked there, they did an outstanding job, and taught my kids so much, including conflict resolution and how to speak up for themselves. Thank you for all that you do, take care.

[@jflsdknf]

There is nothing you can do but keep the other children safe from him. Even the world's top clinicians cannot help these people

[@MENTALBALANCETV777]

The reception we've received warms my heart. You make this journey truly special!

[@raynebow5289]

I know for a fact that as I child I put my family, and especially my older sisters through hell. But I've never considered what my mother went through.

[@user-pt6hs6tw4e]

Yep, i was choking and my kid did not seem to care, and shows lack of any emotion a normal kid would.

[@dreamofskye7400]

I recognize her animated facial expressions in myself as someone who is overstressed from years long constant hyper vigilance. Never being able to relax and never knowing that things will be allright.

[@TeresaOverholt-ky1ct]

Omg 😳 you helped me see that I wasn't wrong in my feelings towards my son although I've always given him the benefit of a doubt and my dear Mother said that there was something wrong with my son and I doubted her and she's gone now 😢

[@aeonfluxcapacitor77]

I got kicked out of pre-school and I'm definitely not a psychopath... Just too smart and still too young to understand that Jonestown kool-aid isn't the same as Sister Catherine's snack time kool-aid. 💙

[@cn728]

This gives me some valuable insight.

[@Dragumix]

The existence of psychopathy and of many other mental illnesses is one of many reasons why I think it's a bad idea to bring children into this world (this world view is also called antinatalism).

[@KatrinaDancer]

Do you regret having him? I wonder if more psychopaths are being born or if more are just surviving childhood. I bet back in the day many of these kids were killed by parents early on.

[@vladimirofsvalbard9477]

Unlikely, considering how apathetic generations of the past used to be.

[@rolisreefranch]

@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 ever heard of SIDs?

[@danielforrest3871]

An 8 month old was laughing at hurting someone? I am incredibly skeptical.

[@MarinaPier77]

This happened to me when my son was 9 months old or so.

[@joanndeck4315]

Same with me and my second son, of three kids…the other two nursed to well over 2 yo. My middle son at 9 months kept biting me the entire couple days and just weaned himself in the two days. Never cried or wanted to nurse again. When he’d bite me…he would laugh at my reaction to the pain. He turned out to be severely autistic, very behavioural, and violent. Requires 4:1 staffing AT ALL TIMES…has broken several knee caps and someone’s neck. Most recently he dislocated someone’s shoulder. He is 19 now, has a fully modified home and lives alone (with 30 rotating staff) He actually has multiple dxs but not psychopathy…maybe he should? He’s non verbal though. I still love him no matter what and fought very hard to get the services he has….

[@Unscripted139]

That actually happened with my sister and nephew. He would bite her and then laugh when she complained in pain. He's not a psychopath though... But yeah... Some kids do that

[@vaska1999]

​@@Unscripted139For 3 days straight?

[@pattiendicott9149]

Believe it!!! I raised a phycopath.

[@rishaa682]

Sounds like factor 1 psychopathy

[@lehrerjacob]

He was laughing at biting you? An infant? Biting during feeding is relatively normal.

[@kimtago6127]

But biting with the intention of eliciting a response? I just feel like these responses are kind of ignorant.

[@SM-fx6yo]

My son did this and REFUSED to let go, it hurt so much I started crying 😢 he actually started laughing and would grind his teeth on my breast…I had to reluctantly hit him for him to release it and I was bleeding…oh and he didn’t even cry after I hit him or flinch…he literally got up like nothing happened…I was literally afraid of my own child

[@Acoustic-Rabbit-Hole]

At age 3, when my little Jenny tore the head off off Kermit the Frog and held it down it the toilet for five minutes....that's when I kinda knew there was a problem.

[@floatingsara]

I don't have a clue about other things, but the breastfeeding part is really frequent if not normal. Babies bite when they don't find enough milk (frequent at 8 months) instead they laugh just because they are "having a chat" with you. As adults we tend to separate nourishing from relation from communication...but breastfeeding is all those things at the same time

[@lienbijs1205]

Exactly my thought. I am surprised about that she thinks that an 8 months old baby can hurt a mother by purpose.My children did that too. I remember how they were laughing too. I also remember how one of my children was laughing when I was crying loud after very sad news. Baby's can't read emotions till a certain age.

[@s.a3099]

Yep, all my babies have bit at some point while breastfeeding, and none of them are psychopaths lol

[@mikeyerian2562]

@paprica2872 Well, if she moved to bottles and he didn't bite the bottles, isn't she more or less on to something? Watch all her videos, the kids is a diagnosed psychopath.

[@ParmyJan]

​@paprica2872my nephew is 3 years old and will startle and ask what happened or something if something dropped where he's in the same room as me. I assume 5 year old knows enough to respond

[@ParmyJan]

​@paprica2872ohhh ru serious😂I had no idea she said 5 month I just reread ur comment. Dang yeah that's crazy asf. What I think is, once she found out about his psychopathy, she was probably thinking about all of his symptoms and just remembered that in retrospect and thought "oh ya that was the first sign of his psychopathy" While failing to understand he was 5 months (not 5 years old lol) well I'm no mother so I can't judge her for failing to realize that's how kids act at 5 months.

[@melodypanek448]

Why shouldn't a child be able to be kicked out of preschool? I'm sorry that your child is mentally ill, but if he is hurting others, he can't be there.

[@ssuiter2]

My son is 5 and going into kindergarten. He also got kicked out of preschool. Yes, I am worried he will manage to get kicked out again

[@Cat-el4td]

Thankyou so much for sharing this. I’m in desperate help as my son shows symptoms of this trait. He is getting worse and I dont know what to do for help.

[@ParmyJan]

Do you think you can reach out to a therapist? Perhaps try some types of behavioral therapy or something u can research? I wish you luck I'm sorry you have to deal with all that but I'm proud of you for educating urself and trying to get some help.

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

I might be able to give you some direction. My son is 40 yr old now, but from the looks of it not much had changed.

[@vaska1999]

Ask your doctor to get him a psychiatric evaluation.

[@MoneyStrategiesSOULutions]

There is one man in this series who did research about this, and he said that a child can get much less psychopathic, or not even becoming cruel if their mother loves them up (ie super compassionate, touchy, not the tough love version).

[@Joulean]

​@MoneyStrategiesSOULutions this is absolutely not true and will only lead the mother to feel guilt. Absolutely disregard this.

[@susanparker767]

Q: What happened after High School? Do you have other children?

[@kristine2090]

Why is no-one questioning THIS person? She doesn't look healthy herself.

[@delulululululululu]

I was thinking the same....the way she kept laughing while talking about it towards the end

[@kristine2090]

@@delulululululululu I agree. Glad you can see it.

[@luckyleo787]

There is something off about this person in the interview, the mother.

[@asi859]

Parents its not your fault if your child is like this. You didn't abuse them you loved them and you shouldn't blame yourself. Also I respect you. If I was the parent I would toss the child 😂😂. Sounds harsh but I can't lie . I'm very very emotional (maybe too much) I have a strong love for Humans and animals, I feel disturbed when I hear psychopaths talk their thoughts and explain how they see the world. I find their point of view so rotten and I can't be openminded unfortunately, I hate their mindset.

[@Tetradepodmelontea]

But only emopats can be consciously evil, being able to choose between good and evol Sociopaths cant feel "evil". They are naturally with low sensitivity and lack of fear of death.

[@nicolii7321]

The breastfeeding example is creepy as.

[@kellywade8275]

This sounds like the childhood of Michael Myers. 🤦🏾‍♀

[@carda5967]

Are you saying he is better now? you said it continued until he was 18, in another video you said you are not afraid of him now, Is he better? Im wondering about a friends 12 yr old grandson, and wondering if its possible for him to get better.

[@jflsdknf]

No she just meant he never stopped getting kicked out of schools until his schooling finally ended after high school. She worded it wierd

[@rolisreefranch]

SIDs could've fixed this

[@jafothedaytrader349]

Did you name him Dexter?

[@MENTALBALANCETV777]

asdaYour subscription means the world to me. Thanks for being a part of our community.sdasd

[@sparklebutt1119]

Why was he even watching those types of movies?

[@Pclub4ever]

Asking the real questions. You'd think that movies like that would get him into mischief.

[@johnnybongodrums]

there are plenty of scary pg 13 movies. don't assume she was watching the texas chainsaw massacre with him and even if he was movies don't cause psychopathy.

[@thefaultinourstars8729]

Movies don't produce psychopathy. I remember watching the walking dead with my family in 2nd grade. I cried when hershal died. And me and all of my sisters threw temper tantrums a few years later when glen died. I was crying and screaming while hitting the bed lol. You can still have empathy and watch the horror genre

[@ajax3748]

You're born with psychopathy pal

[@NotSoLiberal]

@@thefaultinourstars8729 TWD in 2nd grade ? wow ... awful

[@jennym2826]

Did you have a stressful pregnancy by chance?

[@jflsdknf]

Wow, true demons

[@ourcats816]

It seems this lady is more "psychopath" than her son. saying the child enjoyed hurting her at 8 months old? what is wrong with you, lady? at 8 months old any child is a "psychopath", as he / she doesnt have any brain, all small children are like this, they don t understand the pain of others, and so on, all small children are cruel, and so on. it is something wrong with this woman, for sure. i watched another video of her saying only negative things about her son, saying terrible things in fact, it seems the woman hates her son, speaking again and again only about herself, what she feels, how she feels and blablabla.

[@Annie-cat]

Don’t judge her until you get into her boots . Psych babies get their features by 2 years of age, read about it and don’t judge. Genetics, mind you

[@vaska1999]

You're in denial about congenital psychopathy and are lashing out at the messenger. It's absolutely NOT normal for an infant to refuse food (milk) for 3 days straight, preferring to bite the mother's breast instead.

[@ThePathOfLeastResistanc]

Can a child with extremely high anxiety and be a psychopath?

[@whitepouch0904]

No psychopaths don't feel fear of anything

[@janebarbontin830]

Go get professional help if you see any red flags...

[@bellamy4325]

Probably not. Can be a sociopath however; they tend to be pretty nervous and anxious people with impulse problems

[@nijario9690]

No! Psychopaths cannot feel fear, they feel the adrenaline and excitement of fear but not the fear or anxiety

[@RnRnR]

@@whitepouch0904 They can, they can have severe anxiety actually. They may process it differently though, it may not affect their behavior.

[@JohnSmith-lk8cy]

I have never heard such BS! An eight month old does not enjoy hurting someone. Your reaction to being bit made him laugh so he did that for fun. He had no idea that biting hurts. My wife breastfed three and they all bite at some point but best not to react I am not easily startled when I am not really into a movie and not suspending my disbelief. All kids get angry at other kids sometimes. Sounds like she gave him a self fulfilling prophecy poor kid.

[@kourtneysimmang8015]

His behavior was normal. A mother helps a baby regulate their nervous system. Sounds like he was pathologized instead of loved

[@vaska1999]

It's absolutely NOT normal for an infant to refuse food (milk) for 3 days straight, preferring to bite the mother's breast instead. Get over your denial about congenital psychopathy.

[@vampired0llx]

my mother was like this. i have a difficult time believing this woman for a number of reasons. for context, i was adopted at 3 and a half months old but was neglected severely during those months. i had ptsd by the time i was placed into my adoptive mothers care. i will not go into great detail, but i was a very violent child, very emotional and my mood could switch within seconds seemingly unprovoked. after enough violent outburst, i was put in therapy and diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, aspergers syndrome, and had traits of psychopathy such as wanting to cause fear in others. however, once i left the home these traits mostly went away and i have not been violent in years. in fact i realized most of those traits were developed as a way to protect myself as something i perceived as a threat. now that i am an adult it is evident that my mother was in fact a raging narcissist with a victim complex, and my father a borderline pedophile. eventually i figured out that if i played up the fear factor i could keep my parents away from me emotionally and physically, and so for the next 10 years i made it my mission to terrify them as much as possible in order to condition their behavior to stop seeking any type of intimacy with me, as i wanted nothing to do with them. i do feel guilt over it now that i am older, but i was doing what i believed was best for me and my safety, and i trust my intuition. as children, we pick up on our parents emotions towards us. kids are incredibly perceptive as the mind is the only line of defense when the body cannot fight. when you are treated as a monster, you will become one as the expectations put on you are so low, and people are disgusted by you anyways. may as well have some fun with it.

[@kli9005]

Just because you had this experience does not negate others.@@vampired0llx

[@Joulean]

If ya'll think that baby is normal you are not normal.

[@kli9005]

I understand that you see things based on your experience, however there are other experiences. Since you have not been around this woman you should not blame her for something that you have no first hand knowledge of. @@vampired0llx

[@georgepappas45]

how can the commenters not tell she is insane? I am disgusted at the naivity of most people

[@Bobby_burner]

Exactly! Textbook vulnerable narcissist mother here. Nothing more to see. Listen to how she describes her 8 month old baby’s behavior and characterizes it as psychopathic ! She’s trying to convince the world that this is a demon child from hell and that she’s this hero/victim mother who’s done her best. In the last video she even went on to say how she’s a therapist/principal/teacher/police all in one. She’s likely abusive and the child’s personality disorder/behavior is a direct result of her abuse.

[@Annie-cat]

Maybe you are insane