Have you ever been scared of your child? Ask a Parent

We all know someone with psychopathy.
psychopathyis.org/
/ psychopathyis
But few know the truth about it. We’re helping change that… by helping you know the signs. Know about treatment options and resources. And know you’re not alone.
Lillyth Quillan was the first parent to publicly use her name and her face and say she was the mother of a child with Conduct Disorder. In 2014, she created and founded Parents of Children with Conduct Disorder (PCCD), a Facebook-based support group for parents and other caregivers of these children. Over the last six years, Lillyth has personally spoken or communicated with thousands of families. She remains as dedicated to the cause of including non-intimate partner violence in the national Domestic Violence conversation, early treatment for our children, and political action as the day she started PCCD.
Lillyth joined us on Zoom to discuss what it is like to have a child with Psychopathy.
/ parentsofchildrenwcd

[@andylee7862]

When an adult is so emotionally abused and traumatized by a "psychopath" infant, imagine the damage a normal child gets from a psychopath parent. God bless us all 🙏

[@lesliel.6260]

My father is a narcissistic sociopath...the damage is sever

[@Joulean]

My progenitress is a narcissistic psychopath. I barely made it out alive, but did - with C-PTSD and psychogenic seizures.

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

There is no such thing as a psychopathic infant. Do you hear yourself? Ask yourself what kind of a person is scared of an infant? Do you understand how freaking absurd that is for a fully grown adult to be afraid of a tiny helpless infant who can't even verbally express themself yet? A bit of feisty-ness is perfectly normal in children and is a phase they will grow out of, unless they are permanently labeled and defined by what would have otherwise been a passing trait by their mother. This woman is off her rocker and has a victim mentality. She rejected the child as an infant, severed the mother child bond which affects the child's ability to form healthy social bonds and develop empathy, and reflected to the child that he is bad, so the child internalized that and grew up believing that he is bad to his core and does not have the ability to be good. But he is human and has unmet needs, so how do you think he is going to go about getting his needs met now that he has been denied access to a healthy model of socialization...he is stuck in the phase of an infant level of feisty-ness. How does an infant act when they are hungry or tired or they need attention - they throw a fit because they have no other way to communicate their needs, and they are helpless and completely at the mercy of their caretakers! There is a reason people say that a person is "acting like an infant" or call someone "infantile" when they are acting out. Because this behavior is normal for infants. Mentally healthy mothers know this and don't reject their children for this. Lots of children go through phases of pulling hair and biting...in this case it was headbutting. Babies don't have a concept at 8 months old that they are causing physical pain to others nor do they have the ability to empathize yet. They don't even begin to have a concept of self and other until around age two. She gave up on him before he even had a chance.

[@andylee7862]

@@Truth-4-Humanity 100% agree... Thanks for stating your view.

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

​​@@andylee7862 sorry I may have missed if your initial response was tongue-and-cheek. I take things too literally sometimes. Thank you for your understanding and kind response. Peace to you. I am embarrassed that I read that wrong but will leave my response up for other literalists like me😌

[@Cass_772]

My son has been diagnose with sociopathy AND schizophrenia, it is terrifying and hard for people to understand what you go through. At one point, you're the one who's going crazy :( I am in C-PTSD and I thought I was weak but since I have the diagnosis, I realized that I am the strongest person I know and that it is a miracle to still be alive. If you are going through this, don't feel guilty to take some distance.

[@mgr2599]

Consider putting him on a carnivore diet and see if the schizo clears up.

[@amethyst6386]

The headbutt... That's how it felt for me. I'm in a reversed situation. Mother is a sociopath and whenever you would cuddle or open up to her you would have it used against you later in the most disgusting way when you least expect it. It's what hurts the most indeed, you have this illusion of closeness but it tears you apart when the next moment you're being attacked and your whole entire being is being devalued.

[@charitylb]

Brings back so many memories. One child with such mental illness...tore apart our other children's lives.

[@FibryaMC]

You're a strong mama

[@shahjmir]

The psychological abuse and cognitive dissonance from her explaining her thought patterns is just wow. This women is so brave!

[@JokerScribe]

Stunning and brave at being afraid of 8 month old babies.

[@Joulean]

​@@JokerScribedo you struggle to understand the difficulty of having a child who behaves like a demon when you don't have a worldview that can allow you to process that reality and respond to it in a self- protective way, while you are encouraged by a morally relativistic culture to just love and forgive and deal with everything alone? If so, the lack of empathy could be symptomatic of psychopathy

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

​@@JokerScribethank goodness for another person who sees how ridiculous it is for an adult to be afraid of a baby and to label a baby a psychopath.

[@darkskinisalwaysin]

This reminds me of the movie “we need to talk about Kevin..”

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

My son used to headbutt me too. He chipped my tooth. I know the fear. You want to play and engage with them but they don't know when playtime is over and they've gotten to rough. He beat up his older brother constantly and there was 5 years between them. When he was about 10 he asked to get involved with a hockey program. I wanted to say yes, but I could foretell the lawsuits from other parents when he beat them to a pulp with the hockey stick.

[@vaska1999]

I hope you realized this was not normal behaviour and that you had your son assessed and treated by a psychiatrist.

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

@@vaska1999 Of course I did. His older brother was normal. It didn't take long to tell the this kid was a little off. In daycare he was assigned to the only male teacher. When there was a school field trip to the Field Museam he had to stay at school with the male teacher. He had the notoriety in 1st grade of being the youngest child to ever be suspended from school. When the principal leaned over to ask him why he darted across the playground to attack another boy unprovoked, he project the blame to me, "Its because my mom doesn't take me to church enough." This left the principal flabbergasted with her jaw hanging open. The school got him hooked up with the school psychologist who got him assessed. It took a few years of one bad diagnosis after another and a near weekly suspension to finally file a complaint with the IL State Board of Ed under ADA for his Spec. Ed. Services. I won, but I'm still not sure if it was really the 'boobie prize' or not.

[@user-wn3mf6hh5y]

​@@vaska1999 Hahaha sounds so easy, like it's realistic to blame the parent. My son manipulated his first numerous therapists for years.

[@tsariza]

The sheer HORROR I felt through my entire body when I realized she was exactly describing somebody I know... I hope it's just a coincidence

[@reformerx667]

I sympathise with you, there is nothing worse than not being able to relate to your own child. I hope you have found a way to put yourself together again.

[@clm0208]

I can feel her struggle just from listening. I can't imagine how she live with that on a daily basis.

[@MM1997.]

24/7 being scared for yourlife from your own child must be stressful, sad and scary 😨

[@johankam5019]

I feel so bad for you poor person it is such a misery when psychopath is close to you and live with you.

[@craigzilla100]

Lol, how about when they are 6'2 and 200 lbs . We have a 14 year old who is acting absolutely insane these days. He's quite scary.

[@dg2517]

Thank you for sharing this. You are not alone.

[@PheonixStarsx]

Tubes tied reminder when I get older ❤

[@madisonohare4012]

I raised someone else's child with psychiatric issues; ADHD impulsive hyper type, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, then Conduct Disorder. I had to constantly call 911. He was kicked out every school, meds, therapy, anger management, juvenile stays, nothing worked. I was physically, mentally and emotionally tortured, I have PTSD, panic disorder and major depression, post concussion disorder. He went to prison for 2 years when he turned 18 for assaulting me and give mTBI. We were kicked out of 2 churches when he was adolescent. Nothing broke him. He is 34 today, and I believe he has type 2 impulsive psychopathy. He feels on rage and happy excited, nothing else. He has abused every woman he has ever been with, and I have 2 grandchildren by him with 2 different mama's exes. I supervision his time with his oldest fir 3 years, every Sunday. Until he kicked my door in and called me f$cking c$until. I am currently No contact with stepson but have great relationships with his baby's mama's. They never change, they can't. They love getting one over on you, thieves and destroyers.

[@Cade805]

The trying to break down the door 🚪 while you are on the other side holding him the door, is bringing back a LOT of traumatic memories of watching my own Mom do just that with my brother. In our case he was using a hammer on the door. Threatening to hurt or kill us if we don’t give him what he wants. This happened more times than I can count , but I still can’t remember what it was that he actually wanted from us. The demands were always about something petty, or out jealousy about something I got that delusionally believed wasn’t fair despite everyone in my family meticulously arranging every gift and favor for us to be “fair”, so that he wouldn’t get triggered. But he always did anyway, no matter how much you did to placate him. He was an ungrateful jackass.

[@MM1997.]

How is he now ?

[@fabio_paiva]

Imagine navigating through life, unaware of the existence of problems, while being raised by a parent with such tendencies. In such circumstances, one must forge an unwavering spirit, fortified by immense resilience, and nurture a compassionate heart. 🙏 Not an easy task.

[@artegentile8365]

You have experienced disorganised attachment with him, due to his behaviour.

[@madisonohare4012]

They should be in boarding or military type school if you can afford. Be this is a disability, you might have resources to help you. It gets worse in teenage years. They only feel rage and happiness, thrill seekers

[@DreamBelief]

Boarding schools are NOT equipped to handle such behaviour whatsoever

[@Sunshine-my1vd]

Yes, the mental health approach is definitely the way to go. I used to work in a children’s mental health facility, and a lot of the patients there had behavior like this. I also served in the military, and I have a family member who has behavior problems like this. He went into the military too, but he got kicked out for being violent. The military, or a military school, will not tolerate the type of assault these people commit. The military also will not tolerate their lack of respect for authority, rules, and other people’s safety, and it’s not a good idea to give someone like this a weapon. I imagine boarding schools can help with a bad attitude, but would not tolerate a student continuously assaulting other students. I’m sure the victim’s parents would complain, and the school might lose money.

[@jillhenson6169]

I'm going through this now. The manipulation is astounding! It's chaos. Shes either loving and sweet but wants something or she's planning my murder and telling everyone she's going to kill me and how because she couldn't get want she wanted

[@sarahmasia6947]

Where I live these kids get institutionalised. They need to be separated from other populations.

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

Absolutely

[@reformerx667]

What good does that do? Do they get ‘cured’?

[@vaska1999]

​@dennisemanuelsson7136Nah. They grow up to become policemen, medical doctors, and lawyers, in that order of frequency. Check out the research on the professions psycho- and sociopaths go on for.

[@onelife7247]

This is quite unique in that the mother alleges that her child was a psychopath as a toddler/ prior to adolescence. In this case; that is almost certainly l e a r n e d behaviour from other adults / “caregivers” in his life. It would be useful to get a clearer picture of the child’s interaction with their father, siblings and any other persons with whom the child is in regular contact. With the best of intentions; it doesn’t matter how calm, loving, compassionate and mindful the mother is as a parent if the child’s emotional stability is being compromised by outside factors/ third parties. For example; if the courts demand the child must leave the stability of the maternal home and spend significant periods of time with a cold and callous absent father and his extended family; then really all the mother’s conscientious parenting is effectively cancelled out, exposing the child to untold harmful influences.

[@ZinoHaro]

You can have psychopathic traits as a child that are not learned, but you'll be classified as a conduct disorder until you're an adult, when the diagnosis can change to ASPD, which includes sociopathy and psychopathy as research subcategories. In the case of sociopathy, environment does have a large factor, but psychopathy is less likely to be as influenced by environment. Basically you can have the perfect life growing up and still be a psychopath as an adult

[@reformerx667]

What do you base that opinion on? I have listened to this woman and cannot summarise that the child’s behaviour is learnt. Psychopathy is normally either genetic or a consequence of abuse. In this case it is not clear to me which it is. And it needn’t be the father. It is possible the abuse or genetic psychopathic material came from this woman, but I can’t be sure. Psychopaths can be hard to read.

[@mrkewi1]

you poor thing. i can relate

[@embassysweets8607]

I can't imagine.

[@la7418]

Wait to you get grandkids and then have to stay in the relationship with your child in order to protect your grandchildren

[@DreamBelief]

There are a few children I have worked with for a time as a martial arts instructor and childcare worker who honestly scared me. In all but one instance the parents were wonderful people and I felt so sorry for them (the other instance I don't know what the parents were like, for good or bad). They were so young, but so violent and explosive (mostly towards other children, but there was one who would threaten to bring a shotgun and shoot us). The parents were so distraught and embarrassed. Where I live there is a lot of support, but it just never seemed to be the right support because of people's natural reaction to the idea of such young children being labelled and being violent. These children were all 7 years or under, so in one way I thought that was a blessing as at least their parents could protect themselves physically, but those kids would grow up fast, and if they were that bad at that age I dread to think what they are like now 6-11 years later. I also felt for the other kids having to cop the abuse and the teachers who are not trained or equipped to handle such behaviour with all their other responsibilities (the parents of the aggressors, at least those I knew, all felt awful about this as well).

[@kimia2956]

❤️

[@kellywade8275]

I'm not a parent but if I were, I would discuss the diagnosis with my child at the appropriate age. I would also show and tell if it's you or me, it's gonna be you.🤷🏾‍♀

[@emac543]

A couple of our foster kids were like this. I'm fairly convinced drugs in utero can bring on psychopathy/sociopathic tendencies. Nicolas Cruz is a good example. Good home, adopted at birth. He looked similar to the foster kids that were like this (thick glasses, the stare). They seemed to gain pleasure and making things difficult for the us (e.g. destroy things you like). I think it's a brain issue and I wish this was better researched so we could have better laws protecting children in utero,

[@chickenboi-yf3qw]

attachment

[@MultiSenhor]

It _absolutely_ happened

[@Gats_B]

Totally definitely actually really truly

[@DreamBelief]

Is never coming to help a US thing or just certain states? That's insane. Where I live in Australia the police do come if you call in situations where a child (particularly a larger one like a preteen or older) is being violent towards their parents, and extreme situations will remove them.

[@autumn111155551]

Does her child also have autism, by any chance? Some autistic kids act this way. My autistic son often does if he doesn’t get what he wants or if I violate one of his OCD rules. He was especially bad 5-6 years ago, when he was 8-9, when he was on ADHD medication. Stimulant drugs that treat ADHD can make autistic kids very aggressive and irritable. Now that he’s off the ADHD meds, he’s considerably better. But he still sometimes loses it. He’s also done a tremendous amount of property damage-broken windows, intentionally clogging up the toilet, knocking over the aquarium. Usually he does the property damage because he’s angry, but he sometimes does it because he thinks it’s funny. 😖

[@chickenboi-yf3qw]

I am

[@TheInspireImagine]

i didn't know you could be born a psychopath.... I always thought it was the parents fault (up bringing)

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

No , psychopaths are always born like that

[@saumyavig8964]

Honestly i wouldnt have blamed her if she put him for adoption or smthing, he for the streets lol

[@chickenboi-yf3qw]

It is awfull , he is 10 but he has no arrangement or really anything towards me or anyone

[@okiestaffing8774]

I wonder if he did this on purpose?

[@SubRosa33]

So he just stopped??

[@ninana143]

No, he became an adult and prob was kicked out 🤣

[@louderthanwordsInclusivity]

No he got years and years of intensive therapy and slowly improved, it never “just stops” their brain will always work differently

[@fliss7570]

​@louderthanwordsautism7067 I also think it's realistic and best to aim for being able to integrate into society as much as possible. You can accept that this is not something that can be "cured" but I think successful therapy could help such an invidivual have a better life for them and the people they're around.

[@NisseOhlsen]

Was this mother tested herself ?

[@reformerx667]

Why do you ask?

[@reformerx667]

I just watched another one of her videos. She may be. It is hard to tell with psychopathy, they are so manipulative. I want to think that she is telling the truth, but I can’t be sure.

[@NisseOhlsen]

@@reformerx667 why do you think ?

[@NisseOhlsen]

@@reformerx667 she's sick. To me it's obvious. And she had them all.

[@SRBOMBONICA86]

​@@NisseOhlsenshe looks insane to me

[@Megz129]

The mom is giving Psychopathy vibes. The melodramatic way of speaking reminds me of really bad acting...

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

Agreed

[@moroccansarenthumanbeings2640]

No she gives ptsd vibes she seems really exhausted from him

[@Dude24638]

I have psychopathy and am 13 male, never did anything violent not strategically sound, emotional abuse works better

[@Dude24638]

Sorry let me rephrase abuse I meant manipulation not abuse

[@reformerx667]

You meant abuse mate. Try and work on suppressing your urges. Ultimately you may end up isolated and in need of help and it will come from nowhere because you hadn’t earnt any credit. I speak from experience. Be careful.

[@Dude24638]

@@reformerx667 why should I like really why should i am suppressing them enough to be beneficial to me.

[@Dude24638]

I’m charming enough to never become isolated there’s always someone else to manipulate, also mate all I need is me

[@fliss7570]

​@@Dude24638people are a lot more educated nowadays about psychopathy and patterns of behaviour. Your charm might get you through the first proverbial door but really you never go past that. You don't have to care about others or have empathy to just be a decent person and If you hate people so much and disrespect them, you're only cheating yourself.

[@bryanutility9609]

Sounds terrible 😂

[@divestedkonservativekarame4269]

I feel your behavior hurt him being scared of him at 8 months made him feel abandoned. I think youre the one whos sick babies arent monsters

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

Amen. Thank you! Could not agree more. Infants do not have the cognitive or emotional ability yet to be psychopaths. She projected that onto him and he internalized the idea that he is bad.

[@TomikaKelly]

Take an international vacation to a 3rd world country. Sign up for a Safari or excursion. "Forget" him there. Problem solved.

[@alonelyshrub]

She is legally responsible for her child. She would be jailed for negligence and held accountable for any crimes he commits while there. Not to mention the guilt from abandoning her child. It would be the same as suggesting, "just kill him, problem solved"

[@saphiquefemme]

That’s illegal plus the feds would notice she didn't return with her child. Customs checks your tickets & ask you if you need to declare anything. She'd go to jail either way.

[@jonathan4189]

@@alonelyshrub speaking of people with psychopathy, I think you were replying to one

[@dryb3301]

Looks like you don't really have empathy

[@reformerx667]

@@jonathan4189 perhaps not a psychopath, just immoral. I think parental input was dubious. Tomika, what makes us human is that we don’t kill/ abandon our young ones if they are not like the rest of our children. What you are considering as a solution would be very wrong. Primarily it would go against the instinct of this mother and would damage her beyond anything her child has done. Living with a guilty conscience is not easy or worth it. Once we suspend our conscience starts the slow death.

[@deepindersingh8781]

Dude this guy is crazy af 🙈😂 This is friggin nutts!! I’d love to meet him tho lol

[@jonathan4189]

Sounds like you’d get along 😧

[@reformerx667]

They are fascinating, but if you are ‘normal’ they will abuse you. When you recognise a psychopath, turn hour back on them and never let them in.

[@georgepappas45]

maybe you're the problem

[@Truth-4-Humanity]

She is.