Q&A: Adoption, Waiting & the Weightiness of the Process

[@thefreylife]

Here is the Q and A you guys helped us with! Thanks friends!

[@laceyharrington2806]

Are you waiting on a newborn? Are you open to older children?

[@ashleereed7902]

Good luck with everything on adoption and enjoy watching your video's

[@donaldredrow9131]

How my going to contact you

[@donaldredrow9131]

How am I gonna reach out to you

[@heathergerard2186]

The little one that you will get to welcome into your lives will be so blessed to have you two as parents!!❤️❤️

[@SavedByGrace402]

“The wait is never wasted…and don’t waste the wait.” I like that. I’m going to remember that one.

[@melcerra2375]

Yes. I am writing that one down.

[@dpepsi72]

They should make that into a t-shirt!

[@SavedByGrace402]

@@dpepsi72 They should!

[@kimbo500]

I agree. I'm remembering that one too! 💞 I will say, with my experience with adoption....both professionally and personally....I think it is really important to be prepared and informed with and during the adoption process. On the other hand, once a child has become a part of a family....I've seen SO many families focus on the subject of adoption or being adopted far too much as the child grows older. It's a controversial subject, and I know parent's intentions are good. IE: the subject of 'Gotcha Days'. I have spoken with numerous children of adoption as young adults, and SO many wished they didn't have that type of attention or focus. They preferred not having something unique from their siblings. They didn't like having a special day every single year to simply promote the fact that they were adopted. They weren't ashamed, they just didn't like the constant focus of the fact that they were adopted. I know that certainly wasn't the intention of their parents. I literally was told '....it's just who I am!' or '...it's just me!'. They wanted to be celebrated only in the same way as their siblings (birthdays and such). We need to listen to what our children are saying and feeling. Sometimes we overthink things, rather than just relax with the process of raising our children....whether they are adopted or not. The most 'stable' or 'well adjusted' young adults I've see (who were adopted), were of families who did not focus on the fact their child was adopted in such a big way. Just food for thought.

[@SavedByGrace402]

@@kimbo500 I agree. My sister in-law was adopted. While I know her parents meant well, her adoption ALWAYS came up. Everyone had to know that she was adopted. I personally do not have children (one day I hope to!) but I would imagine that the constant conversations on where you came from would have somewhat of a negative effect on the child’s emotional state.

[@melissaw6446]

My niece and her husband were on an adoption wait list for a long time. They were matched twice, and both of those times the birth mother changed her mind. It was heart wrenching for both the birth family, and our family. But God knows things that we don't, and my niece was diagnosed with breast cancer. That immediately removed them from the adoption wait list. After a battle well fought, they now have a precious baby boy who is perfection! God is good.

[@Rainbowsofanxiety]

I’m impressed with your education you’ve gotten on your journey. I know too often families don’t hear the perspectives of birth families and adopted individuals and don’t consider the pain that comes from the adoption needing to take place.

[@kimbo500]

So very true. I have dealt with new birth mom's (and the entire adoption process) for over 25 yrs. and it is so appreciated to hear an adoptive couple express such compassion toward the birth mom. Such a great reminder to 'put out there' for all of us to hear. We can get so wrapped up with all the positive thoughts and joy of the adoptive couple and child. Of course there is a grieving process that the birth mom goes through at the same time. Sometimes we allow ourselves to sweep that part away, and simply focus on the joyful part. Thanks sharing Peter and Mary! ❤️

[@jeank3394]

We did the Christmas markets in Germany. And they were fabulous! This year we are doing the Christmas markets in Austria, Germany and Switzerland. You would love it!

[@monicah4123]

I helped my daughter’s birth mom place her second daughter for adoption. She specifically wanted another single mother for this daughter. The adoptive mom was waiting like three yrs and was passed overtime and time again when babies were placed with couples….It was so worth the wait for her to find out that as the only single woman active on that agency’s list she was now “the chosen one”. At the right time, the right baby will be yours!

[@StarsHallow]

I love to see Mary feeling better and better all the time! I have to admit I almost forget she has CF sometimes. 🥰🥰🥰

[@musiclover4life6]

The Harry counter cracked me up! I can definitely appreciate Christmas and how much joy people have for Christmas. I use to really love Christmas as a kid, but now from seasonal depression has made it harder. I practically feel a sense of guilt for being so blessed, with food in my belly, amazing friends and family, a warm place to sleep, gifts. As I drive home from festivities I feel the pain of the people who have nothing . I've definitely developed a love for Easter. Easter doesn't have to be big to be fun.

[@crystalrose8229]

I've been following y'all for a while and am learning a lot from your perspective on adoption. I was adopted as an infant and have grown up with always knowing I was adopted. I've reached a point now in my adult life where I've looked back and never really felt like I "fit" in. I don't look like my family. Don't get me wrong my mom was my best friend and most of my feelings of not belonging came after my mom passed away. As the rest of my family just kind of all stopped talking. Also been really wanting to do a family tree but the whole not sure if the bio tree or adoptive tree is what I want to travel. But to hear y'all say that your knowledgeable over the bio mom's heart really struck me. Thank you for being so genuinely you. The world definitely needs more families like y'all.

[@anitathompson6571]

We are going to Germany in December! It is our first time there at Christmas time and I’m so excited about the Christmas markets! We are visiting our daughter, son-in-law-law, grandson and meeting our new granddaughter who is due to be born mid- November. Then we go to Paris to visit our nephew! Again, Christmas markets are going to be a new experience there as well. C-a-n-n-o-t w-a-I-t!

[@rhiannonrobertsroberts7038]

That sounds really fun going to Germany for Christmas. Does it snow over there around Christmas time? Have a good fun trip.

[@jmleeinla]

This sounds like the trip of a lifetime. So special to see your new granddaughter. It really does sound magical having Christmas in Germany. Have a wonderful time!!!

[@anitathompson6571]

@@rhiannonrobertsroberts7038 I believe they may have a chance of snow in their winters but maybe not heavy snow at that time. It will be cold so we will be prepared for sure!

[@anitathompson6571]

@@jmleeinla Thank you so much! We’ve never had anyone to visit there in Europe when we went and now we are going to visit family in two countries! This Christmastime memory will be like none other for sure!

[@kerstinbak9948]

I'm from 🇩🇪 and you gonna love the Christmas markets have fun!

[@carolynlong9148]

I believe you are truly a special couple and a little angel is a waiting for you.

[@glitterbea]

Hi Mary and Peter! I'm adopted as well as my younger brother and sister. I am so excited to hear you're adopting! I think you'll be the most amazing parents I can't wait to watch more of your journey ❤

[@lindaowens2966]

What an awesome gift you will receive. Praying for the birth momma that chooses you to be the parents of their child.

[@helenneemeyer1602]

You are on my prayer chain list of people to pray for. I’m so excited for you both! ❤️ 💗

[@gthornton3]

Every time y’all talk about adding a baby to the family , it gives me goose bumps. I’m so excited for y’all bending able to grow your family. Stay strong and thx for the up date. Sending prayers y’all’s way. LOVE YOUR CHANNEL.

[@bidinosaur]

I work on genealogy in my free time and with that I connect with many adoptees and birth parents in search of each other (very rarely birth parents). It has taught me a lot about identity and human connection working with DNA. Honesty from day one will always be important so no child will ever feel lied to or mislead. I'm wishing peace and love to you both and birth families who are currently trying to come to these decisions that really will forever change their lives as well

[@babysteps22]

It brings me back to waiting for my daughter. I can relate. She is 23 now and married. I adopted her at 7 months of age from China as a single parent. She is the biggest blessing of my life. Gods hand was so obvious in the process. Your attitude is great. I am also a RN and have worked the last decade with moms and their babies up to 2 years of age. I have some great Instagram sites from experts in there fields on language development and gross motor development, etc. Let me know if you are interested.

[@penelopepolinsneemeyer4757]

Hi guys! Thank you for such a fascinating vlog xxxxxx

[@damama-gc2nm]

I'm excited for you guys to be parents. You'll be amazing! I just had a tug on my heart tgat prayers for the birth dad are also needed ❤

[@juliespady8467]

This took me back…we were an actively waiting family 29 years ago! I definitely calmed my nervous energy by shopping and getting ready. Just like you, We didn’t know if it would be tomorrow or a year! You both are so articulate with your thoughts and feelings.

[@dutchessgrit1638]

Hi Mary and Peter I am a mother of 3 and had to make the decision with my first born (a girl) to adopt her out and found it extremely difficult she is now 17 and she has looked me up and we have spoken a little. I believe that the perfect little family you are you will make such an amazing place to grow up. I would have picked you both to adopt my child. Your doing an amazing special thing. Can not wait to see what the future holds for you both 😀😘

[@judyreynolds305]

Just love you guys! The baby you will receive will be so loved and have a wonderful blessing of being raised by y’all!!

[@michelleschreffler]

My sister in law is from Germany. My mom went for the big church wedding. The family is so special. If I could visit somewhere it would be Germany. Mary you and Peter will get your special gift from God. Your Arm's have been open to hold a like one for so long. I can't wait for the two of you to bring your special bundle home. God will bless you soon.🙏💖🙏

[@michelleschreffler]

Thank's to anyone that like's my comment 🎃🕷🎃

[@tammyrockhold6111]

I’m keeping y’all in my prayers and that the Lord would bring you your special baby soon.

[@cherylemaybury9967]

I’m cheering for you guys to have a child soon. I do worry about how hard it is to give up a child and whether your health problems will cause prospective mothers to choose someone without health problems. I put myself in the position of giving up my child and I know I would try to choose parents that I feel are more likely to be around for 18 years to give the stability to the child. I don’t think I am the only person who feels this way. I know nothing is promised and unforeseen things happen every day to healthy people but I would still be very cautious in wanting healthy parents.

[@terrybauer1678]

Off topic but I can't help it. Mary and Peter, I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR SHIRTS!!!! I had to go and order another one. I got the long sleeve shirt. It is so comfortable and nice. Thank you. Also, I've been following your journey for many many years. You are my favorite channel. I'm so happy for you. I saw when you were so sick Mary to how wonderfully you're doing now. I can't wait each day so I can watch. I've been on an adoption journey too but as the grandmother of 2 adopted granddaughters. I love them just as if they were my blood relatives. I pray for you and I love watching your excitement.

[@miaramona6257]

I'm adopted myself and am so happy for you all 😘🧡

[@kimberleytramper8966]

I loved watching Harry appear out of nowhere. It was fun getting to know you even better too through your answers.

[@liesbeth9810]

I live in the Netherlands, about 2-3 hour drive of Germany, and the Christmas markets is always so much fun to go to. With German class in high school we also went on a trip to a Christmas market in Münster, with an assignment we needed to do (ask questions in German and make a paper of said interview) 😂 so I totally understand where that idea is coming from.

[@bconsilio3764]

I always wanted to go to the Christmas markets!

[@biddiemutter3481]

Harry is on his exercise routine! Either that or he's forgotten what he went upstairs for 🙃

[@blessed1940]

Now Elijah came around. God is good.

[@Hazeleyesx2]

This was a good raw answering session. I liked it!

[@Glassology]

Your comments about waiting brought to mind Kina Grannis and her song, In the Waiting. Beautiful.

[@2pandas4me]

I had no bio children. Husband and I married later in life. We tried adoption in the US for 10 years searching and waiting and praying and wishing and hoping. We finally went International. All countries closed to us due to our age. There was only one country opened to us and we know this was God's will. We received a referral picture and traveled and received our daughter in 2002. The Lord, spoke to my husband's heart again and we were waiting again. In 2007 we received our son. We are so blessed and know it was all in the hands of Jesus and His Will for our lives and not our own. Our children are borrowed from the Lord and for this short time on earth, we just are so thankful to be chosen to be parents that birthed our children from the "Heart". Praying for a call soon for you.

[@lindaclark7868]

You can also ask your gynecologist if they currently have patients wh are thinking of placing their baby up for adoption. That's how my sister did it. She needed to give her baby up to a couple who could give the baby the loving attention that my sister could not have done at that point in her life.

[@StarsHallow]

I also get almost GIDDY watching you two! You both really have fun together and love each other unconditionally!! I forgot to post that in my last comment.

[@sunny4jenny]

….and please address what Harry is up to going up & down the stairs throughout this episode …I’m curious…Gotta love Harry❤️🐾❤️

[@Carljoubert64gmail.c0mJoubert]

Praying for You and the Baby.👶

[@gthornton3]

We have been to the Christmas markets , it was totally fun. But very cold.

[@jeanlee1911]

Christmas eve is special and will be so special for yall.

[@gabigayko1863]

Come to Germany, I would love to show you around. And the Christmas Markts are the best, sooooo magical. Hopefully the resume this year.

[@sharonpodorski4687]

Mary I know you will make a great Mom, that said I think you need to worry about yourself and not what He wants. It will be a lot on your plate. I been around 2 people w same disease.

[@lezup]

KZbin keeps interrupting your videos with pulmozyme ads. Love your a and a’s. Chicken is a good comfort food. I like your middle name Peter. You better vlog these travels if they can ever happen again. Keeping you in my prayers for a short wait for the kiddo.

[@nataliecole1117]

I love living in Australia. My first ever flight was a couple of years ago and it was to the US its was around 14 hours so wish there was a teleportiation option maybe in the future .

[@LSW2022]

Ok, can we talk about the Harry counter 🤣. Where exactly was he going ? 😂 🐾 💙

[@dpepsi72]

Loved the Harry counter!

[@felicialovesnkotb]

My favorite holiday has always been Independence Day. My love of all things summer probably has a lot to do with that. Also I know you are eager to have a child, but enjoy this time you have now without a child. Your lives will change once the baby comes don't take for granted all the things that will be gone or look different when you have a child. Take this time to enjoy those things!

[@gerrymenke5408]

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord And I am peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait Yes, I will wait And I will move ahead bold and confident Taking every step in obedience While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait I will move ahead bold and confident I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint And I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting GREAT SONG FOR WHILE YOU WAIT

[@NorseButterfly]

I think Harry got his exercise in during this vlog!😂 I know that when things like adoption or selling a house are on the table, we tend to want things to move at our speed, which is rapidly in most cases. But in reality, we know that God has a plan and that things happen in His time, which for some of us, can cause undo stress (like myself), because we see our time-line getting pushed back further and further, and it's frightening. I think that, because we were given choices, we tend to make them based on what we feel is the best way to move forward, not necessarily the right way forward. It's hard to keep what's right and what we think is right separate, since we feel so deeply about certain things. And when something derails what our plans were, we panick, even though we know God has our back. I know this may not make much sense, I am rambling a bit. I'm trying not to go into my own story. I hope that y'all understand what I'm saying. 💜🙏

[@misspepe7416]

Germany is a great answer 😉😄 It would be amazing to welcome you here! All the other places sound AMAZING I wish it would be so much more easy to travel (with chronic illness). 😄

[@emilyp2778]

Flights to Zambia is suuuppper long. But you could do a direct to South Africa and then vacation there and then a short flight to Zambia later in the trip.

[@Nelle4ever]

It sounds really hard to wait specifically for the baby, but in general our brains hate uncertainty. Waking up every day not knowing would be really crazy and hard!

[@lizagervais8621]

We just had Thanksgiving on Monday here in Canada

[@bconsilio3764]

What a surprise, Mary likes shopping for the baby! Why would you not share your middle name, if you are not embarrassed by it or dislike it??? I think the ‘intentional’ waiting is key. It gives you a focus and something to do! It can be a very lengthy process which not everyone understands. The process can be likened to infertility in some ways. My sister adopted and her process was extremely difficult and so very painful. I ask those who read this who haven’t experienced the journey to not brush away the emotional roller coaster this process can be for Mary and Peter. In addition when it is all said and done to avoid saying things like... see all things work out for the best...oh that wasn’t so hard...God is faithful, I knew______...This is real People, Be Kind!!! The pain won’t just disappear with the appearance of the baby. It will stop accumulating more pain, but the healing will still need to take place.

[@goldenhours6209]

I love the Harry counter

[@katherinechatham9032]

Special couple…yes, God’s timing is always right.

[@shaunnasparklesclarke]

I follow a family that have already adopted children they are called Crazy Middle's , they have done a few Q and A's on adoption.

[@marilan3455]

“The waiting’s never wasted…don’t waste the waiting.” I agree with that. There’s always something going on in the background that God knows is needed. And then of course there is SLEEP…don’t waste the chance to enjoy it now!😂🤣😂🤣

[@haleyphipps0417]

Glad your adoption wait is still going ok. It's hard to wait for the phone call that they have a birth mom about to give birth and is 90% sure she wants to give the baby up. Hope you will get your baby news a few weeks or months before it comes and not a few days or the day of the birth that your rushing to pack and get to the destination the baby is born.😲 Praying for you daily and hope you will not get a last minute adoption call and can have a little time to prepare more. Hope you can maybe find out months or weeks in advance so maybe your church can throw a baby shower for you Mary. We are loving having an adopted baby in my family right now(as my first youngest sister is a nanny). We are always finding ourselves when we go shopping looking and sometimes getting baby clothes and toys etc. Its so much fun.😁👶🏼❤

[@gthornton3]

There is a You Tube family that adopted and talk about their journey. Their channel is Phil and Alex. Look them up , they might be able to help you with any questions.

[@karenmurkot2153]

Yes, I really enjoy their channel.

[@fralinsandfriends]

You two are a good example for other waiting adoptive parents. Many get their hearts broken whenever the possibility doesn't happen at the time they hope it will. I pray you don't have to wait a lot longer. 😁👋💖

[@sunny4jenny]

One of my favorite thoughts in life is: when you wake up each morning you have no idea what’s going to happen.

[@sonjamomberger556]

Thank your for your cat I lost my Rosie last week

[@vickierhard1441]

Harry that's just hilarious. Is he going after food? Being here for this journey with you is the same up and down ride. Twice in theses last weeks the titles of videos has made me anxious. Thinking maybe for some reason you were turned away. Sending everyone love.

[@amaza888]

Wow, Peter! Lecompte. A French name! That is so cool. (I'm French Canadian, and I have a couple of friends who have that last name)

[@piamiddione3695]

Remember how long you waited for the Meds. that changed your life? We’ll this time, the waiting won’t be close to that!🙏💖

[@treywhite4186]

My middle name is Packard - my mother's maiden name. Kind of glad to know I'm not the only one with a middle name like that.

[@bionicprincess8008]

Such an incredibly sweet and humbling video about your adoration journey. You two will be wonderful parents. I hope everyday that you will be chosen soon 💗🙏🏻

[@junbh2]

I know adoration was probably an autocorrect mistake but it's kind of a cute mistake.

[@meganstufflebeem2458]

I have friends who live in Zambia! (Although there are here visiting now lol) what a small world!

[@SomeoneBeginingWithI]

Could you talk about what you mean when you talk about your hearts, and heart emotions? My background is in the Anglican tradition. We have "in our hearts and in our minds" in some of our prayers, but I am not familiar with the word "heart" being used as you seem to use it. I'd be really interested to hear what that word means for you, if you'd like to use that as a topic in a future Q&A

[@thania68]

Hi guys. I have so many places I would love to go but the one that comes to mind is Italy

[@dthurley8490]

Hey guys, I having a port study tomorrow, I just got my port in late August and it's already having trouble, they thing it might be completely flipped over. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

[@lindafrazier8799]

Special people!

[@Arvalin77]

Man, Harry needs a fitbit. lol

[@jaytee2642]

@@pammym190 Me too! 😄😄

[@moonfichter7899]

The pumpkin cookies are my favorite now made them like 4 times now

[@kecrn4132]

Where is the recipe?? I recall them saying something about the recipe!!

[@jaytee2642]

@@kecrn4132 Check the description box of the video where she made the cookies. There's a link to the recipe.

[@rhiannonrobertsroberts7038]

I have 2 cats, one of my cats have 5 toes on each foot and a stubby tail. She was born like that.

[@murmelstein6049]

The Wartburg is super cool to visit! With kids too, you can imagine to be a knight or have an ice cream from the Kiosk. 😊

[@sallymay24]

I mean I flew from Australia (my home) to the Uk and it took around 39 nearly 40 hours but I did stop overs so I could experience other country’s on the way and back

[@ElvenQueen854]

Zambia is beautiful! I went there on a missions trip in 2008

[@piamiddione3695]

You should go to Switzerland, we have a Chalet up by the Matterhorn! I could give you a super good deal, because I love you guys! Let me know!

[@artastic_23]

Hey Mary & Peter! Hope you’re doing good! Do you still use your feeding tube, Mary?

[@haleyphipps0417]

In a video recently, she said she's not used it since COVID19 pandemic began and since shortly after starting Tricafta. Her J-tube fell out this summer(search for the video entitled My J-tube Fell Out back at the beginning of June).

[@PinkHawk191]

I want to go to Israel and Norway since I have family in both places. I am also Jewish so Israel is a very holy place for me.

[@alyral]

Go to Zambia I spent a few months there and it is the most beautiful place.

[@dawnboyd1784]

My brother and SIL adopted twice and waited 2 years each time

[@jaytee2642]

Was it a private adoption agency?

[@dawnboyd1784]

@@jaytee2642 yes.

[@justcallmejessz3712]

This is totally random but did you know that kangaroos cannot jump backwards? I forget what video I watched that said so....but when you said Australia, and that kangaroos were cool it reminded me. 😂

[@Deesview89]

I live in Australia

[@angieslives]

I can’t figure out how you got through the process so fast. I hate to bring up your CF but doesn’t that make a small strike against you because of your health breathing wise get worse. We’re not able to do adoption because of a minimal case of asthma. Help me try to understand how you went through the process so fast. How can I find the group you went through?

[@sunflowersnsunshine8668]

I like this kind of video. Just getting to know ya'll a little better.

[@Karenm1969]

I dont’ know if there is a way that if the baby was diagnosed with CF or before birth and adoption was best, that Mary and peter would be such good candidates for that baby to go to…

[@rhiannonrobertsroberts7038]

Harry is so cute and funny 😸

[@cs5889]

Will you show the baby online when and if? Just wondering because I know Wesley hasnt been able to be on the channel much. Either way I respect it.

[@kittykatkate088]

I don't think I've ever clicked on a video so fast.

[@stephanie1742]

yes I would need a teleport device to go to Australia too 😂

[@gthornton3]

Exciting

[@johnsonfamilyvidsvlogs3745]

Love this one.💙🙏💜

[@sharonheadland9233]

England. Ireland

[@taliailana]

When you make it to Israel I'll be here to welcome you.

[@CaitlinMarieFraze]

I’m adopted myself and my middle name is Marie

[@rmjames83]

We would LOVE to have you visit here in Australia!!! But be careful, the wildlife might get you!!🤣just joking!! We don’t usually have wildlife run ins unless ur silly or do something u shouldn’t!!!

[@glendaruff125]

What if the child is not a small baby? Would you be willing to take an older child? Will you be a foster parent first?

[@jaytee2642]

All of their preparations have been for a baby, so that's what they have requested.