The Lovely Bones is Scarier than We Remember

[@QualityCulture]

I wanted to acknowledge the recent news: it’s come to light that Alice Sebold falsely accused an innocent man who spent 16 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Meanwhile, the true perpetrator walked free. My heart goes out to Anthony Broadwater. It’s no secret that our criminal justice system tends to target / treat black men more unfavorably (especially when accused by white women), and because the case brought against him back in the ‘80s was so flimsy that seems to be what happened here. One note: this doesn’t take away from the reality that millions of people experience sexual assault and should seek justice. I hope we can acknowledge the injustices that happen to SA victims as well as the injustices of our legal system without invalidating one or the other.

[@crazierthan-u7571]

It happens to white men as well, but it's kind of beside the point, which is the unreliability of eyewitness testimony, especially from someone who has been severely traumatized. The officers of the courts are well aware, or should be, of this problem. Juries find the testimony of assault victims who have misidentified their assailant very convincing because the victim truly believes her faulty memory. So you've got a woman who is already living with the trauma of the brutal assault that screwed up her own life being hit with the horror that she has destroyed the life of someone else -- an innocent man. The men in these cases I have heard about show nothing but compassion and forgiveness toward these women, which seems more amazing than it probably is because these men get it. Their lives were ruined by an irresponsible court system, by whom they should be richly compensated. Nothing can give back those wasted years, but a coupla million bucks wouldn't hurt. And what about the sorry son of a bitch who actually committed the crime? Can the two people whose lives were shredded by his actions ever overcome their rage and grief?

[@nicecoolmarsha]

Thank you for discussing this. Very well said.

[@jasminchavez9060]

yup i think it’s important and sad to note the only reason people found out is when they started making the movie the directors started poking holes in her stories and decided to cut out anything to do with what the author claimed

[@shqueeebee1666]

I don’t know that *she* falsely accused him, since she couldn’t pick him from a lineup. The police caught the wrong guy and never put forth any efforts to find the right person

[@crazierthan-u7571]

@Yi Tanjo This is more than just a black isseue.

[@madeleinegibson1650]

The scene where Susie’s murderer is chasing her sister is absolutely terrifying. The whole thing made me so nervous

[@john-ni3pi]

Especially when she fell out of the window and couldn't get up for a moment, because of her fall. I was like 'please get up, please get up, please hurry up, please get up!'

[@milotic7339]

Yes everyone in the theatre were screaming and then clapping !

[@zedmak]

@@john-ni3pi then she stops because mom came back, so ridiculous that would have been the perfect news, I found her killer, closure and everything.

[@ellenne5228]

is Lindsey her elder or younger sister?

[@nadacolic7775]

@@ellenne5228 younger :)

[@dilaylad1903]

I find it terrifying and terrifyingly sad that ALL women know what "that look", "that atmosphere" is. I saw this movie when I was around 13 and it scared me so bad because I have felt the same fear Susie experienced. I have been scared of being left alone with a man since I was 8, and if that isn't a proof of how fucked up the world is, then I don't know what is.

[@Hellsichtig]

You truly made me realize that just now...since I was about 11 I understood "that look/that atmosphere" as well, what a sign of moral destitution....little innocent girls...makes me sick to my stomach.

[@amouramarie]

I don't think most people realize how *young* children are when they DO know that atmosphere. That before you've even hit puberty, you know exactly what that feeling is. It's shown so, so accurately in that clubhouse. You want to get away right now because you feel unsafe, but to imply you feel unsafe would be *disrespectful* and it would be *rude* so you force yourself to remain quiet and obedient in a situation you feel unsafe in. Never press your child about how they shouldn't avoid that adult, or force them to associate with them to be polite. Let them avoid whoever they want to. Your child feeling safe is more important than being *polite* enough to some other person.

[@plumbleebee]

Yeah, I've understood how men could look at my body since I was 5. I have a memory of being in my red footie pajamas wondering if they hugged my body too much around my friend's brothers and being self conscious about how they looked at me. I WAS 5

[@aviparmy-lthatblinkedoncew774]

I remember being 10 watching this movie for the first time and I was laying next to my sisters and I just cried so hard after work and I couldn’t go to sleep because the movie came on so late that I was up all night

[@fea_puta1]

I was 7 or 6 when my life just kinda changed. ever since I learned more about how This world is and how easily I can get hurt, kidnapped, or raped like wtf.

[@sushidevil4244]

is no one gonna talk about stanley tucci's range as an actor??? he played gay men roles in burlesque and devil wears prada and here he is as a serial killer traumatizing everyone. damn.

[@miscellaneous1535]

YES!!! He is so impressive!!!

[@nikkip6314]

Yes that is him! How I missed that one.🤦

[@reesea7988]

Don’t forget hunger games!!

[@fannyalexander5906]

He was nominated for this

[@tatum635]

I didnt even realize it was him until I saw this video. I think the blue contacts threw me off.

[@AeroLuv26]

“It’s a look too many young girls are familiar with seeing on grown mens faces.” That line got me. I hate how true it is.

[@WynneL]

Yup. That hit very hard because I think it's almost all of us (and some unfortunate boys as well.)

[@zhadom1902]

Yeah it's insane to assert that this only happens to women and girls, so many boys have the same fate as salmon but it's ignored. Ghoulish

[@louwinters508]

​​@@zhadom1902 oh god yeh. Yeh ever heard the Candy man. Dean Corrl. His target was teenaged boys. It's one of the worst cases I've ever heard of. And do you know what you are right. People were saying the boys must have been gay. Like that matters and it's not even true. Whether they were or not doesn't matter. They weren't coming on to their killer at all. They were teen boys. The youngest was 13. They never say that about a straight girl who was killed. Oh she must have been straight and come onto her killer. Even the lad who was kidnapped for years by a pedophile Steven Stayner. From the age of 7. People were calling him gay as an insult after his escape. Even his family were embarrassed. As if he wasn't raped for 7 years. Society is fucking sick. Boys are seen as less innocent.

[@notimportant3686]

... EVERY SINGLE WOMAN HAS... the problem is... these women have that feeling misplaced about 95% of the time... and i'm not condemning or condoning... it's biological/primal caveman instincts.... it's the same reason you hear a leaf rustle in the forest and you dart a panicked glance in that direction immediately because your primal brain remembers predators and snakes even though 99% of the time it's just wind rustling leaves

[@cindy9881]

@@zhadom1902 do grown women cat call you in your school uniform? do they hit on you randomly at the gas station just trying to pump gas. Do they insist that they should know your name and where you go to school? Have you been followed by a woman in a van riding beside you asking where’s your house I’ll take you. Women target young boys in a more calculated and subtle fashion. Male killers/rapists are twice as likely to stalk their victims as opposed to females. Shedding light on the relatability of that “look” does not diminish the pain of other victims.

[@lialia2268]

I think the reason he was never caught in the movie is to show how often rapists and murderers DONT get caught. They often live long full lives

[@BrokensoulRider]

@Paul WT Actually, that scene is assumed to be years after the girl's death. It's more akin to the common saying 'what goes around, comes around'.

[@wrongorange]

@Paul WT worst of both worlds narratively but still a very realistic ending

[@shaymaamahmoud6739]

This. One of the worst things about the ´long, full life´ is knowing they will continue to offend and in many cases, will continue to have access to more victims.

[@lialia2268]

@@shaymaamahmoud6739 absolutely. It’s very sad and sickening

[@ElleBellsChannel]

It's true, I found out something disturbing about someone I knew after they died.

[@lalaminty0111]

I was in a similar situation as Susie when I was in high school, I was walking home from school. When a guy approached me in his car and asked if I wanted a ride home. I was all alone on that street, not even a human insight. I never had such a panic in my life, I replied "No, thank you my house is just around the corner." And he kept on insisting to the point of stopping his car and got out, once he did. Out of nowhere this lady who was walking behind me grabbed my hand. And said "Darling I've been looking for you looks like you went ahead." I've never felt a sense of relief and panic in my entire life. It was as if my whole life went before me, she walked with me all the way home.

[@genera1013]

That woman is a hero. I'm glad you got away. I've had people try this when I'm walking during the day and even then it's super scary.

[@KyrieFortune]

Something similar happened to a girl I know, but she ignored the woman too. Turned out to be the right move, the woman was in cahoots with the man.

[@grayblues.6424]

@@KyrieFortune Exactly!! Always be aware of everyone

[@ghoullovinbutch]

This brings to mind stories of women knocking on a door to a random house and saying that’s their aunt’s house or their grandma’s house or their dad’s house or whatever and enthusiastically greeting them and when the bewildered homeowner sees the look on their face, they play along and let the woman in.

[@nataliseleo441]

She’s my new idol

[@ItsKourtneyyy]

The best thing about this movie is it gives the victim a voice. They always make movies and write books about serial killers and the victims are forgotten.

[@josiedoyle2754]

yepp, my first thought when i read this was “lolita”

[@deadartist8827]

Very true.

[@heatherlee2967]

+++

[@heatherlee2967]

This

[@JM-mr6pz]

Such a good point

[@sunshinefogleman127]

The fact that Susie's body was never recovered upset me, but honestly, it's a much more realistic portrayal.

[@ameliepilie4717]

Yes especially because it’s set in the 70s so no DNA or anything really to help them 💔 so many girls gone and never found

[@jonnnnniej]

Yea, it made the hurt we felt watching it linger. No real closure, just like the family. It was frustrating, but also made it that much stronger. Almost every crime serie, thriller, or horror movie gives us a beginning and an ending in the span of a few hours at most. But real-life pain, trauma, and grieve doesn't work like that. Still, time heals our wounds and working through pain cam bring a much deeper understanding of life and happiness :)

[@letsfindabetteryou5971]

In the books a dog bites Susie's elbow and drag it to its owner.The book also elaborates that her body was cut in pieces but the movie chose not to show it.

[@ameliathepickle3868]

@@letsfindabetteryou5971I’d believe that they mention it tho. Which makes it more upsetting knowing that she is dead, and out there somewhere. But no one but her killer knows :/

[@lbec9487]

Yes in the book, one of her bones was found implying that at least some of her remains were found.

[@lilanimalcracker1495]

But honestly, he wasn’t a stranger. He was her next door neighbor, she had watched her parents speak with him, she’d admired his roses, she trusted him enough to go with him bc he was her normal friendly neighbor

[@xlovelygi]

Yup 💔💔

[@genesisgonzalez1940]

Those are the great majority of cases, sadly

[@taylorstep1413]

Stranger danger is no more.

[@zee3184]

That happened to me, we welcome their family into our home as they did with us. But I was treated differently and was taken advantage of as an 6yr old

[@ellemarie32]

@@zee3184 oh my god, I’m so sorry

[@crazierthan-u7571]

Susie's screaming rage when she realizes she has been robbed of her life by this creep was pretty intense, I thought.

[@bradenclark1560]

If you've seen the behind the scenes footage, you can tell just how emotionally difficult that part was for Saoirse.

[@hellomarisolmo]

It was a very intense.

[@jcap8391]

This movie was painful to watch. I like to put myself in positions of characters depicted in movies. The way I love is too strong I feel like any of this would break me as a human being. It was a good but sad movie. I would not watch this movie again it made me depressed for a long time

[@crazierthan-u7571]

@@jcap8391 I know how it is to lose a daughter. But mine died in an accident in 1993. People whose children are deliberately killed by someone have a whole extra dimension of crap to deal with that it's hard for me to imagine. In any case, the pain of such a loss never goes away, although it gets different. After 27 years, the pain of her absence remains vast. There are days when I focus on it and days when I hardly notice it, but it's constantly there, like the sky.

[@nightynightshade]

In that part, when she sees the safe. She screams also because she realizes her body parts are in there. And the weight of what he did sinks in.

[@itstrulydrue858]

What touches me most with this film is when Susie's mother finally enters her room and makes her bed. Susie finally has her *own* moment of closure and is able to finally go. And that last quote... "I was here for a moment, and then I was gone." Wow.

[@QualityCulture]

That part is so moving, her mom was finally ready to heal, so Susie could move on. And that last line always gets me too! Feels like a grounded and comforting way to frame it all, and a way to suggest that ‘life goes on’.

[@RealiTeaV]

I cry every single time at that part

[@kaleahcollins4567]

She's not at peace and nor will her family be

[@dinkledankle]

@@kaleahcollins4567 Well they don't actually exist, so I don't think it matters 🤷‍♂️

[@Anelleclosett]

@@dinkledankle Oh, they do exist. Tens of thousands of them do...

[@mothynightmares6342]

There was actually supposed to be a scene that showed the SA more, but the actors were uncomfortable with the idea so it was cut from the movie. Probably a smarter choice not only for the actors' sakes but the audiences too, it also makes it a lot creepier and unsettling with it just being implied rather than shoved in our faces.

[@Threeleebird]

Really, I don't feel the SA cutscenes were necessary. Not only because the actress was a minor, but because the movie already makes you suffer and including scenes like that would make it much worse.

[@annaskippings6256]

Your comment reminds me of the recent Brooke Shields documentary that showcased her earlier film career as a very young actress performing sexualising scenes with much older actors. Albeit in the late 70s/early 80s, but all the same, the discomfort of her scene-making and the ultimate sexualisation of herself and this depiction of the young female population at large as a result, really goes to show just how much society - life - imitates this sickening art. It's very sad and very disturbing (the reality, not your comment)😊

[@Nodeal757]

​@annaskippings6256 brooke shields childhood breaks my heart 💔 she was even in a playboy knock off by Hugh hefner topless when she was 11 years old! Wtf??! How at any point in time is that OK? I remember seeing the film pretty baby and it horrified me that this little girl was being so sexualised. Same with the other film on the island with the boy when she 14- think its called Blue Lagoon? Just huge shame on her parents and the gross Hollywood weirdos that used her in that way 🤢💔

[@eveelee4152]

The tubes scene you can kinda guess what he did the white cloth over his face was a dead give away

[@YourIQDoesntMeanShitToMe]

Nothing is needed after all. But I do wish I would've been more traumatized by the emotions of such an experience. As it also is a way of invalidating and brushing these very real experiences of victims under the rug. Sorry if I sound like someone you disagree with, I really don't care anyway.

[@misshaley2957]

Most scary movies we can tell ourselves it’s just a movie. With this we can’t. It happens to real people. All the time. It’s real.

[@nataliaadorno285]

Sheesh true af

[@FlowerGirlMy]

That is exactly why it's so scary - cause it's real.

[@k0taa]

thats the scariest part. the fact that this story could be ours or a family members 🧍‍♀️

[@alexandratwoface6422]

Yeah

[@GiorgiNemsitsveridze]

I'm terrified of becoming a parent (bit more of having a daughter) for that reason. Though, I know that overprotection isn't a way out either, children shouldn't be naïve, they should know that the real world can be ugly. It's scary but you can't afford to make them soft either, what good is that anyway ? Children need to learn jiu jitsu for sure.

[@frauleinzuckerguss1906]

The "be polite" when she tried to leave is so subtly scary because it preys on how young kids and teens (in my experience girls especially) are constantly berated to be polite to older people because they are authority figures. He used what parents raise their kids with to pressure her into staying.

[@mkg2124]

EXACTLY

[@onepunch2310]

Yeah we’re always taught to respect adults and listen to what they say and that they’re always right but teaching kids that can but them into dangerous positions when they are told to obey adults even though it feels wrong

[@lilscenechick1995]

It's called manipulation. You're absolutely right.

[@adrienneclarke3953]

She was never going to get out polite or not and she knew it.

[@ElleBellsChannel]

This is why I hated how adults use to pressure you to kiss them in certain cultures.

[@marajaneee]

as a woman seeing suzie become uncomfortable in the field and in the bunker was so heartbreaking, and terrifying. it’s a different kind of fear no one wants to talk about how scary it is.

[@pearl3026]

You hit the nail right on the head !! I think all women have been in that kind of situation at some point in their lives and all the women and girls that don’t live to tell the tale makes my heart heavy

[@Aphelion25]

Your stomach just drops and your heartbeat sounds so loud in your head. Fight or flight. Its terrifying. Every time im in a parking lot at night or going to my car from my work. Its not fun.

[@averagezyzzenjoyer5630]

I think men understand this too . Just speaking for me but i felt that shit

[@averagezyzzenjoyer5630]

@@Aphelion25 did you ever run from the cops ?

[@Aphelion25]

@@averagezyzzenjoyer5630 yes but for a very stupid reason .

[@53anHarri50n]

I like that he went out with a whisper. People like him are too often given a lot of notoriety, I like that he went out with no fanfare. no one noticed, no one will miss him, , and everyone in that world is better for it.

[@mgfunkera]

This was so upsetting. My cousin’s best friend was kidnapped, ra*ed, and murdered when we were 13. This hurt in a way no movie has hurt me before. She was like my sister. I still have the sweatshirt she wore in her last school picture. The guy was a tattoo artist (in Bremerton, WA) that everyone knew. Her name was Bunnie Lynn Brown. Her name matters. His doesn’t mean a thing.

[@jessicahurley5251]

Did this happen back in 1988?

[@mgfunkera]

Jessica Hurley ‘87

[@jessicahurley5251]

@@mgfunkera I just read the story and omg it broke my heart. I’m so sorry this happened I could not imagine the pain your family has went through.

[@mgfunkera]

Jessica Hurley It’s just crazy to this day. When I go home to Bremerton & Silverdale (I live in Seattle), I can’t look at the woods the same. I just hope he’s getting what he deserves.

[@jessicahurley5251]

@@mgfunkera that’s understandable, and I definitely hope he does as well, that guy is a monster. I honestly don’t understand how people become so evil.

[@rubybates6502]

I like how they didn't try to make her seem really mature. It seems like a lot of media depicts teen girls as sexual and/or grown up,and as a 14 year-old,its pretty messed up in my opinion. she seemed like a real girl

[@michelle-yt7qr]

Exactly!! Hollywood glamorizes how young teens really are. Most if not all, are just curious but dorky big kids. You’ll be horrified to see the new K-pop group, New Jeans. They’re youngest is 14 and she is the most sexualized in the group 😨

[@XWierdThingsHappenX]

@@michelle-yt7qr part of the problem is they get grown adults to play teenagers. So the teenage character they are playing looks grown up. When kids who are 14 look so young and baby faced.

[@Ready-ForTheEnd]

Fact is most teens nowadays ARE exactly like that. This movie is set in a different time.

[@ast3yne]

@@Ready-ForTheEnd they really aren’t. A fourteen year old will ALWAYS be a fourteen year old, and that mentality is the same logic that creeps use

[@DizzyBusy]

I also prefer to call 14 year-old girls, children. Or any under-aged people who are survivors of a sexual violence. Like the ones involved in Epstein's case, calling them girls make people think of college, "hot chicks", what some of us used to be, and some others used to date for three weeks in college before a dramatic breakup. But call them children and you feel the gravity of the crime even more acutely.

[@luxlisbon7979]

this film makes me bawl my eyes out. “i wish you all a long and happy life” hurt me so deeply

[@xymoriintus]

I can't sit through it without breaking down. Just watching this video made me tear up

[@Amen-Magi]

They most clean the movie from internet women write the story was lied about her r#pe and send s guy to jail for 16 years

[@YourIQDoesntMeanShitToMe]

@@Amen-Magi Source?

[@totallynotimari]

@@Amen-Magi piss off.

[@beomgyuswife7138]

@@totallynotimariIt’s unfortunately true, though. Stephanie Soo made a video on her Rotten Mango channel if you’d like to see.

[@leslyssa3623]

This movie was the definition of “trust your instincts”

[@mickymacanori1768]

Unfortunately it also showcases how "trust your instincts" may be too late. Notice how she didn't have any instincts about going down into that bunker. How, she genuinely thought she was safe from harm until her instincts kicked in. By that point, it was too late. She had no way of getting out after she had a bad gut feeling. I imagine that's how other bad things happen. People aren't suspicious until it's too late. This is why we have to warn people about certain cons and things so that they don't end up failed by instincts that never happen.

[@Hekateras]

@@mickymacanori1768 It's not even necessarily about instincts. The instinct to trust in authority (in an adult) is STRONG at that age, hell, at any age and it can be more powerful than the instinct of self-preservation or mistrust. Standing up for yourself, as well as setting boundaries even when it means being rude, especially to an authority, is a learned skill, and even plenty adults don't have it. And sometimes standing up for yourself is actually more dangerous, while with "playing along" there's a chance you'll be left alone if you behave. Many people in dangerous situations just freeze because of this (and freezing includes going along with whatever's asked of them). Add to this the problem of people, especially girls/women, being actively socialised from an early age to be polite and not make a scene - hell, even the gut instinct, or "woman's intuition", is denigrated as something flimsy and unreliable when it's a woman experiencing it. Something really bizarre happens when you're reasonably alone with someone you don't really trust but who's not technically being threatening. I'm a grown woman and yet I've been in situations where strange men started asking me (pretty personal) questions like what my name is, what I study, where I live, etc., down to asking me to add them on Facebook (which I did, despite telling them I barely used it... unfriended them when I got home). It is RIDICULOUSLY difficult to just say "I don't want to talk to you" and walk away - instinctually you act polite, answer them with truths and half-truths or soft lies, and wait until they "let" you leave/let the conversation end. I cannot emphasise how strange it is to find yourself doing that, as if compelled by an ancient lizard brain, when you usually have no issue telling people off for smoking on the bus or being too loud in a study room. It's impossible to imagine or relate to unless you've been in this situation.

[@mickymacanori1768]

@@Hekateras You know what, you're so right. I have been coerced into many uncomfortable experiences and situations by men that made me unfortunately, by just not being able to say no. I froze up many times. I guess now that I can say "No" as easy as I can breathe (as you said, it was definitely a learned thing and had to be practiced), I had a different perspective. You provided a great in-depth explanation on it!

[@sandpiperr]

@@mickymacanori1768 It's interesting because there have been a few times in my life when I feel like my instincts did protect me. They were times when this really intense fear and sense of alarm just hit me out of no where, and without even thinking about it I left a situation or stood up for myself without thinking about "Am I being rude?"...in the moment. I believe that this was instinct because there was nothing, outwardly, about the situation, that should triggered such a strong and urgent sense of alarm. However, I did still find myself second guessing myself afterward when I felt safe again. Wondering if I'd done the right thing or if I had been too rude in the situation. So trusting your instincts is a difficult thing, even in times when it does come naturally to you, because you kind of talk yourself out of doing it the next time.

[@GoddoDoggo]

@@mickymacanori1768 Jesus, reading some of your guys' experiences, I've never been so happy that I was an antisocial asshole of a kid shaped by my dad telling me to question ALL authority and trust nobody, ever, not even him. I had no friends and hated everyone, but at least I didn't have any pedophiles all up in my shit either.

[@ericaleshai]

The saddest thing about this, is that almost every woman has had this uncomfortable feeling around someone. We can recall that person who was smiling too much, asking personal questions, and invading personal space. We have to teach children the signs, and teach them not to care about being rude or impolite when someone is making them uncomfortable.

[@ansaksa]

being more direct also, you should say out loud:You make me feel uncomfortable. And see what other person do then

[@dreamyanon5151]

@@ansaksa this is true sometimes but can also be dangerous depending on circumstances... definitely say it in public though

[@genericwhitemale1114]

Men too. Keep in mind that men are murdered and sexually assualted far more than women are. So almost everyone has experienced this.

[@submissiveproviderstboth9485]

@@genericwhitemale1114 LIES🤦🏽‍♀️

[@Alegend.91]

@@genericwhitemale1114 “murdered” more than women, maybe; and that is counting war and gang violence. Sexually assaulted more than women, you are dreaming. Murdered after suffering a sexual assault more than women, no. Just no. Check the statistics.

[@isabellakrivorot9692]

An absolutely terrifying film that made me afraid of Stanley Tucci for the longest time. *spoiler alert* One of the scariest parts for me was the scene with Susie's sister in the killer's house. My heart was pounding like crraazzzyy.

[@playingbylistening2302]

Mine too :[

[@baileyt.931]

I cannot think of Stanley Tucci outside of the Devil Wears Prada and The Hunger Games so when I watch this I wonder how I’ll feel🤣

[@isabellakrivorot9692]

@@baileyt.931 ya once I watched those films along with his roles in Burlesque and Easy A, I realized I love the guy 😄

[@butterflytaster5553]

ugh, mine too! that stressed me out so bad when i first read it. the feeling of relief when she got out of there was overwhelming

[@yasmeenporter2028]

Yeah same. My great grandma made me watch this movie when I was 4. Im sure you understand why I was terrified of the movie😕

[@nonyabiness4023]

As a mother who’s son was murdered, the most disturbing part besides her murder, is they never found her body. I hated watching that safe sink because having a place for a proper burial and a special sanctuary to visit helps. The part I couldn’t relate to is the mother leaving. I know she was hurt but I want to be close to my other children. I have to keep eyes on them and they’re grown! I can’t understand a mother who could go through the agony of losing a child and still leave her other living children.

[@Amylan1]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@PlusUltraAdrian]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@nonyabiness4023]

@@PlusUltraAdrian Thank you!

[@menoguchi]

I'm so sorry. Your other children are very lucky to have such a strong mom like you.

[@nonyabiness4023]

@@menoguchi Thank you! I’m the lucky one…my children gave me a reason to keep going everyday💚🌷

[@Lover4grass]

Fun fact: Stanley Tucci only agreed to do this movie if they completely changed his appearance. He didn’t want to be recognized at himself or have people his appearance with this movie / character

[@andromeda7758]

cant blame him. He did such a good job with the character. It would be like the actress who played umbridge. Actress is a lovely lady but i cant help but associate the hate for umbridge.

[@Faesharlyn]

Very good call on his part, 20/10

[@madelineasmr926]

Smart move.

[@sarahstrickland744]

Umm, I could totally tell that was him 😂😂

[@catalinamarie7245]

Like they do Gaboury the girl who plays Precious.

[@luisa6142]

seriously, the scene where the sister breaks into his house is probably the most stressful and terrifying one i’ve ever seen. my heart was beating so fast i had to skip some of it, i just couldn’t watch every second of it

[@ramonanaya6236]

Same i mean i read the book and knew what happened but still my anxiety went waaay up

[@irrelevance3859]

@@ramonanaya6236 even reading the book made me anxious wow. I haven't watch the film yet but ouch. The book is painful

[@ARenae-vo4ch]

That scene is so intense. I get anxiety every time even though I know what's going to happen.

[@ichabod1370]

@@ramonanaya6236 That's partly because of the way Tucci came up the stairs after her, a perfectly inhuman predator's expression on his face.

[@woffordwolf2071]

did her sister break into his house in the book too?

[@LivelyDays23]

The fact that her final wish was a kiss. It’s just such an innocent thing to wish for.

[@DH-gq7bm]

Not in the book

[@Strawberrysatori]

@@DH-gq7bm I probably shouldn’t have, but this was quite funny to me 😭

[@jascemarie33]

Lol I was gonna say, in the book she wanted her real first time

[@Strawberrysatori]

@@jascemarie33 and achieved it!

[@tatum635]

@@jascemarie33 what the hell!!!

[@AwesomeJellyBean]

Personally, I always saw Susie’s time in limbo as more of a metaphor for how many can react to trauma via burying oneself in enjoyable things, even if it’s alone or just with a single friend. It isn’t until night hits, when the lights are off, when you’re alone, that you’re forced to remember and confront the horrors you went through. In reality, we can never know if those who die traumatic deaths have to accept the horror of it in order to pass on, but for those of us who went through traumatic events and survived, we do have to confront them daily, and accept them, and heal, in order to move on.

[@vocexseta]

I like that it gave attention to victims and their families rather than just the murderer. I wish the media would do more of the same. I think it would increase empathy for the destruction to so many lives murder causes rather than just the immortilization and near glory murderers get now.

[@QualityCulture]

I definitely agree!

[@ooin_otaku4282]

Highly agree!!

[@leilyn8287]

THIS 💯. Which is exactly my personal criticism of news presenting. Victims are reduced to nothing more than the shadows of the sensationalized crimes of these perpetrators, even worse, nothing more than numbers or a body in some alley. Though I understand the need for swiftness and conciseness these articles/reports should have, the media should start utilizing its power to remodel the way we take in information so that just like you said, empathy could finally thrive.

[@fridanunez6085]

I recommend you to watch the documentary 'the three deaths of marisela escobedo'. Absolutely raw and powerful, you can find it on netflix

[@Acrylara]

That's why I love this movie. It felt like something new, like something you've never seen a horror movie focus on. But it felt like the right way to portray it. Nobody should give more attention than needed to the murderer, it's what they want.

[@miafine2584]

The worst scene for me was when Susie watched Mr. Harvey wash her own blood off himself, her charm bracelet on the sink. And watching Susie meet the other dead children.

[@DylanRomanov]

Her scream in that scene is chilling

[@doodoodoodle]

And their backstories :^(

[@lover813able]

@@doodoodoodle that’s what hurt me the most

[@FranSanTeeth90]

I hated that they changed Hollys story. She wasnt a victim of Mr.Harvey. She's a Vietnamese girl killed during the war. In the US in 1972 Susies death is freakish and noteworthy. Holly is just one more victim of an unjust war-a lot of Vietnamese kids died. Some killed by the Viet Cong, some killed by American soldiers. The same thing is happening to girls like Holly in Syria, Afghanistan, N.Korea.

[@rrosemccoy]

Let’s just say that creeped me off. He played on Sabrina the Teenage Witch, and oh my lord I was freaked out.

[@laurenwhittaker6538]

As unsatisfactory as the ending was it's definitely very realistic, no body to bury, killer remains unknown, families never knowing exactly what happened to their children. It's sad but it's one of the most honest films.

[@doublenaut443]

i think he was found to be the killer but when the cops went to his house he was already gone

[@pulan7974]

another girl pushed him and he died

[@sarahnunez318]

My vote turned this into a 666, my legacy shall remain

[@lj9193]

@@pulan7974 he wasn’t pushed. He lost his footing and fell

[@mkuti-childress3625]

@@doublenaut443 Her sister figured it out at first, but yes, he disappeared, and they never found him or her.

[@paddypaddy2834]

I remember being incredibly unnerved by this movie. The feeling of relief I had when she ran away - and then realizing she hadn’t really escaped. It shook me to my core. More than any horror movie.

[@amyamesburg4657]

“Art is supposed to disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed” my god that is a beautiful way of putting it

[@fumblingfruit]

Truest thing ever. I found comfort in this movie because the feeling of unease is so accurate. I've felt this feeling of unease in real life. So to see that unease depicted on a movie makes you feel less lonely.

[@bloodblues85]

That struck me as a really beautiful sentiment too. I'll definitely remember it.

[@christiandaugherty6339]

It's a very famous description of the purpose of satire, though slightly altered.

[@MaryJane-tp3qd]

I had heard it before but when I heard it the first time I felt at ease. I felt some kind of comfort to tell me why I like such sad things

[@winnym6806]

nice nice

[@Eljefenunu16]

When she starts to realize that her being in that club house wasn't a good idea and the panic and dread and fear. I cried. All too familiar. Rip to the children that were never found and those that were found 😔

[@aestheticcat8976]

The mood immediately made me feel so uneasy, like I could sense something was wrong there.

[@Yogirliej4dee]

Same.. the actor who played the murder did such a good job.

[@Eljefenunu16]

@@mathiasgrun630 oh?

[@Kori_kang2355]

@@sou9472 ah damn my nosy ass wants to know what they said lmao

[@nevadapolite5006]

@@Kori_kang2355 samee. But more awfully curiosity-inspiring is what @Angel Nunu wrote, which makes me feel so ashamed of myself- replacing that with gratitude that she's here and here's to hoping her life has seen healing and is now peaceful. I'm pretty sure I both read and watched TLB, but it feels like forever ago. I think I was still a teenager when I read the book and maybe still, when the movie came out. I've never seen it since but just watching this review made me feel so uneasy... it's such a horrifying thought, and the author is right: violence, unfortunately, is very much a part of life. And it's haunting, in its aftermath. It lingers like the smell of a person after they've left their home.

[@singbluesilver1973]

It destroyed me that her body would never be found and his victims were just discarded and forgotten. Such a sad thing. Also I was pissed off that he didn’t face justice.

[@wrongorange]

It destroyed me how that was so sadly realistic

[@MiaMizuno]

Sad as it is, that was the movie's best statement... That reality in most cases looks like this, so we as society should do our best to protect children as best as possible. And of course adults who might be in danger aswell

[@Shythalia]

At least the fucker died. :/ But yeah, this movie is so sad & creepy. 😰

[@aku_emiv]

Well, that's the ugly truth. There are many who is still out there roaming around trying to get their next victim. . such a sad world😥

[@RandomQuestNPC]

@@Shythalia Sadly, death isn't justice. And while in the movie his death isn't natural and gives somewhat of a closure (albeit an unsatisfying one), in reality, how many of them live their life to its end without having ever received the punishment they would deserve? Too many do not ever face justice. And even when justice is done, it sadly does not take away the crimes they perpetrated. The wounds they made, the void they created are there forever, they may heal but the scars will not go away. So yeah...It's a sad and depressing facet of reality that this movie manages to show.

[@soulsurfertarot332]

I think her version of heaven fits because it think it fit the sort of person she was, full of innocence, creatvity, and still full of life that was yet unlived. I think that was what Jackson was trying to portray in that version of heaven. What it looked like for her and the children that didn't get to fully live their lives. That the possibility to still live life despite these events was still endless however fantastical that appeared. This was a great essay though and I agreed with many of your points. def earned a subscriber.

[@nopenever3]

I agree. It is beautiful and comforting. I haven't watched the movie in years but I remember feeling like that scenery is what I would want. Weird I know but I liked it

[@maddiepicciuto9943]

The thing I find The most unsettling about this movie is the scene where Mr. Harvey is trying to convince her to come with him and the things he says to convince her to stay. He says all of the right things. I was taught when I was a little girl not to go with strangers for any reason even if they tried to tell me that they knew my family or that I can trust them. But Mr. Harvey such a good job of convincing her that I don’t know if when I was a little girl I would have fallen for it or not.

[@mcanna5115]

I feel the same, when they are inside and he says she has to be polite, i felt it deep, when i was a little girl my mom told me so many times that i needed to be polite, and specially with adults...

[@jordy13xoxo17]

She was also in the middle of a field. I think if she tried to run, she wouldnt have been chased and caught anyway

[@plebweeb8868]

I'm glad his dialogue in that scene wasn't super stereotypical.

[@mksabourinable]

Also he... Wasn't quite a stranger. He was a neighbour. And there's that emphasis on being neighbourly. Doing things for the neighbourhood. So... It wasn't as weird that he made the fort from her perspective. And she would have felt indebted. And yea the polite thing. That's... Yea. That goddamn polite thing. There's a reason why I'm always so angry at "teach manners above all else" style parenting (or even fucking "therapy" *cough* ABA *cough*). A child is their own person. They should feel free to say no to situations that makes them feel uncomfortable. Provided it's not like... Something necessary, such as medical treatment for example - but it's important to explain _why_ they need to go through with it. But something like giving a hug to a relative when they don't want to? Fucking don't force em jfc! You're not teaching em politeness you're teaching em that their bodily automy has exceptions.

[@The_Gallowglass]

That's what predators do. Either they get you when you least expect it, or offer you whatever it is you're interested in. The angler fish.

[@pollyevans529]

The end of the book when Susie watches her sister grow older than the age she died, fall in love, get married and have children broke me.

[@Ichifate]

Too bad the real author wrongfully sent a man to jail and took 16 yrs of his life away and he was only recently exonerated but she continues to make millions off of her false story.

[@ariduran6409]

@@Ichifate wait what,

[@Ichifate]

@@ariduran6409 yep, look it up. Not only that, but she wrote the book, lucky, in which she told the story, well false story, and profited off of it as well.

[@hiyoritokisada594]

@@Ichifate she regretted that and it seems sge herself was manipulated by the prosecutors to point the finger on the wrong person.

[@annieoops6243]

@@hiyoritokisada594 she is grown..she jad years to say something and realize but she didn't because making money off of a false story and living lavishly is more important than an innocent man's life..it is so sad. He will never get those years back and I hope he sues her socks off. She can regret it all she wants but she isn't the one who suffered. She stayed quiet all this time. Im not coming at you I know you can't hear my tone 😆 I just cannot reconcile her sitting on this for years and choosing profit over this man and his freedom. She is an intelligent woman..enough to make millions. She knew better.

[@Centinelle]

When he said “be polite, you have to be polite” gave me chills to the core. The fact that I grew as a kid with the idea that I HAD ti be polite and friendly even if I were uncomfortable arround certain adults, and how he used to calm her down and somehow manipulate her to kill her. That’s just too heavy

[@shirabe64]

One of the lessons my mom imparted on me from the time I was four was if anyone tried to take me or lure me away was scream “You’re not my mom/dad!” Make a scene and fight if need be. I’m grateful now that I look back on it. I’ve read other stories where because someone made a scene, someone came to their defense or they were found really quickly when they went missing because other people remember seeing them have to yell at a creep.

[@batsgochanour5422]

Also very important to teach that its not only males who can be dangerous but women just as equally. I have an older female neighbor that just for some odd gut reason she doesn't sit well with me when it comes to my young daughter. Always trust that feeling and never be afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Being nice is never worth putting yourself or child in an uncomfortable and potentially dangerous situation.

[@alvinsmith3894]

This is what predatory men says to girls and women. BE POLITE. BE KIND. DON'T BE RUDE. It makes it easy for them to corner you and make you submit to them.

[@mermaidzoephiahart]

You don't have to be polite if you feel uncomfortable, you can say your uncomfortable if you feel it's what's necessary

[@sanaazoe5695]

my mom always made it very clear that if we felt uncomfortable around anyone, even family members, then to let her know. even something as simple as hugging a family member, they would make a big deal if we didn’t do it but my mom never made us even if it wasn’t “polite”. im super thankful of her for that.

[@schorek9]

I like the CGI effects because they don't make you feel comfortable. She didnt want to be there, she shouldn't want to stay. It's in between because you can't stay there, it gave me a feeling of being trapped. Being stuck. It was empty, it was just a place from where she can watch over the living but not living through anything herself. The things like the ball floating on the water that the girl from the ditch had gave me chills.

[@EllieUchiha17]

The scene where the dad helped push her body into the landfill and having it filled hurt me the most. They would never find her body... her dad was so close so many times. I wanted to scream and cry

[@hanindhira]

is not the dad tho???? it was the land owner i think the scene where the dad in the sinkhole was when she's still alive throwing out old refrigerator with her siblings.

[@EllieUchiha17]

@@hanindhira oh shit was it the landowner ? I think it was just her dad was literally a step behind everything Harvey was doing. It was so nerve wracking

[@franksasstattoo]

@@EllieUchiha17 have you read the book??? AAAHH it's al frustrating and horrifying

[@EllieUchiha17]

@@franksasstattoo sadly 😭 I read the book first. I’m still haunted

[@aice1018]

@Lacedra Minor Mr.Harvery murdered her. In the movie, it was sort of implied that there was sexual assault but in the book, he r*aped her so we can all assume what he did before he murdered her. Then he threw her body in a sinkhole, but the sinkhole was filled up so they would never be able to find her body.

[@alexlefay]

As a woman, this movie is TERRIFYING. The whole neighbor thing, her body... Like it's too real

[@07foxmulder]

“aS a WoMaN”

[@rozznaija3301]

As a woman.

[@brunavalverde2804]

It is. To this day I’m still terrified of something like that ever happening.

[@bbyjirl]

@@07foxmulder Fox Mulder would never leave such a stupid and condescending comment.

[@Indrea13]

@@07foxmulder Yes, as a woman. Most women are taught from an early age that this could happen to us, it's scary.

[@user-oj6if]

this movie was only 2 hours long but felt like days

[@eduardochavacano]

and if you watch this because you like the actor and did not expect this movie to be PURE TRASH.

[@endofparalysisx]

it felt like 2 days for me because i had to keep pausing it because i was crying so much lmao

[@christinesentman5437]

The Book was better

[@em_1308]

I love the movie and I don't even know who the actors are.

[@erin.k5665]

I watched it in class so it took us like 2 weeks to watch it coz we only had the class twice a week

[@MensesBloodbath]

I read the book in 2002. I was 11, just starting middle school, and had already experienced sexual assault and suicidal ideation. It was the first book for adults I ever read and had always stuck with me. My reading teacher gave me the book after I read through the whole children's library in her classroom. It really resonated with me. Susie felt like a kindred spirit, a friend. Thank you for exploring this movie, loved the video!

[@karmenramirez6800]

My mom made me watch this movie as an early teen. She did it in an attempt to really get me to understand how TRULY CREEPY some mfs are.

[@Anew3A3]

Smart mom

[@kooolkidninjamaster]

Can be traumatic but sadly the world we love in

[@zacriana]

Mine too lol

[@chaptersanduniverse4818]

I want to do this and I’ve always thought that was best for young children, so they are aware. Not to be so naive even to “the friendly neighborhood guy” that waves all the time. And babysitters. May I ask, how did that affect you? Would you recommend from the child perspective? If you don’t mind? And pardon my intrusion, I don’t mean to be rude in anyway pardon, if this is offensive. I mean no harm.

[@Tabaitha_Elle]

I think I’m going to watch it with my daughter. Kids need to know

[@chaimomma9198]

His end was the way he left his victims, lost. He didn’t get attention for his murders he didn’t become anything but dead.

[@sugarboo5863]

Oh god I really wanted to hear this from someone.Thank u

[@brittneybrisbin744]

While unsatisfying, it's exactly what he deserved. No attention. No interviews. No pictures in the paper. Just an insignificant death.

[@persephone3309]

At least his victims had people who loved them and missed them. The loss of those girls left holes in people's lives. No one missed him or cared.

[@whitedragoness23]

@@brittneybrisbin744 I’m sure they found his body and had an obituary and said poor man. But since his crimes were never uncovered he his memory of him was false

[@brittneybrisbin744]

@@whitedragoness23 That's true.

[@emoswiftie7730]

I think the “underwhelming” ending is a perfect depiction of what many families unfortunately have to go through: receiving no justice or closure. Mr. Harvey did not go to jail, he faced no consequences, and Susie’s family never got to see him pay for what he did. He fled, and had an anticlimactic death. It’s very unfortunate but also extremely common for survivors and victims

[@TheBlairWenchProject]

_his consequence was an early death. While he was trying to kidnap someone else._

[@heathercontois4501]

He received the same fate as his victims. He landed in an unknown out of the way place that no one would think to look.

[@Gigglingsiren]

@@heathercontois4501 He was probably there for a while too because who was looking for him?

[@wisperianeyes]

I agree with you and unrelated but I love your pfp big Grimes fan here

[@Deangirl4eva]

He did this to so many girls do why should this family see justice when they all have to live never having closure.

[@hey-zel]

That’s what I liked about Susie’s paradise. It did seem isolating and eerie even though it was a paradise. It didn’t take away the idea she was murdered. It infact made her death seem so much more heartbreaking to see such a beautiful dream in a horrible situation. It scared me more with that scene as a kid

[@bonesandhearts5683]

The “you have to be polite” part is what really gets me. Like he knows the exact reason we ignore our instincts and he’s exploiting it.

[@constanzaconiglioni3273]

True. We are so scared that we think playing nice will get us out alive.

[@remmilayne6153]

I don't think that's what they're saying.

[@Strawberry_gal]

That's what evil does.

[@redmage777]

It's fitting that the last words he heard were a potential victim telling him to "Piss off"

[@CosmicVoid_119]

“get on your knees dont be impolite”

[@binah7744]

“Be polite. You have to be polite.” Goddamn. It’s such a familiar phrase (and god knows how many of us have said it ourselves) and it’s so fucked.

[@subee1818]

Or don't be rude

[@subee1818]

I went to a man's house a few years back and he did this same thing with the offer of a drink and said don't be rude. He had plans but I had a friend outside in the car. He was called on the phone by someone next door that I wasn't alone. Then he let me go. Like woe

[@jasmineparker6960]

@@subee1818 omg

[@yunyunT0T]

the last girl he tried to go after was not polite at all... ironically that saved her life

[@KurosakiLuvar01]

YES ITS DISGUSTING. IM MEAN AF AND I DONT CARE.

[@baileyt.931]

I actually think Mr. Harvey’s end is fitting, because like you said he died alone and didn’t matter to anyone. People can’t “idolize” him because he didn’t get any “fame” or “spotlight”. He died in a way that brushed him off from the shoulder in a way, a dishonorable death

[@pili8793]

Very true. It's fitting but very unsatisfying! He deserved worse.

[@leo-fs1rb]

Only thing that he does that I laughed at 😔

[@Boultbeeable]

Almost as if people didn't even have the time or respect to kill him, he was that unwanted. He didn't exist to anyone. But then that drives home the fear of who is lurking in the shadows. It's a truly disturbing film.

[@dc9631]

Psychologically though, people wanted to see him suffer... so yes while his lonely and unnoticed death is a fitting ending, I personally would have liked to have seen her father beat the shit out of him with a bat & throw his body in the garbage..... while no one notice and no one cared... To me that would be the most fitting ending... But life isn't like that is it? Violence begets violence....

[@officert5147]

I agree with this view, in terms of he doesn't deserve anyone to know his name, except to spit it in the dirt. But I do think he deserved worse. Vengeance and moving on do not always come separately. (I take issue with the general argument, not you or this comment)

[@ambz_bambi]

the way the minute suzie goes into that hole with him you can tell whats going too happen,the way she doesnt speak much and is shy but still trying to be polite even though she feels like a prey animal is so heartbreakingly realistic for every girl and young woman made a victim by a man. I remember in the book i believe while she was SAd all she thought was about how her mother would be putting dinner on the table and she wouldn't be their this movie and book might be hard to watch and upsetting but this is reality and thats why its so scary

[@powerpufffan]

Watching this film just reminds me how important it is for women to talk about these issues with each other. Educate young women and girls, don’t think they are too young to understand. You must tell them that they are not alone and that their safety is more important than being polite or nice.

[@josiegarcia2236]

i think it’s men who need the educating more but i see what ur saying.

[@aabirazaman2644]

@@josiegarcia2236 I loved reading that. Thank you

[@powerpufffan]

@@josiegarcia2236 I totally agree. I just want young women to not feel alone when they are harassed or hurt by men.

[@powerpufffan]

@@josiegarcia2236 I guess “inform” or “talk openly about” is more what I meant in my initial comment

[@junichiroyamashita]

@@josiegarcia2236 i wonder,what could be more educating that what we already have. I surely never seen rape,abuse and violence toward women as being praised,not now,not 40 years ago,and not even 400 years ago,to give you and idea. Some things are simply like they are,it is not a matter of "boys will be boys" but of " it is what it is"

[@amethyst_and_lace]

I was visiting my boyfriend and his parents in France when I was 20 years old. I was walking back from the metro to their house when a man pulled his car over to stop me on the street. He struck up a conversation and I was trying to be friendly because I didn't know what else to do. He started asking where I was from and I told him California. He then said he had never kissed an English girl and wanted to kiss me. I said no, but he kept asking, so I ran. He got in his car and followed me down the street. I kept running and trying to flag cars down, but no one stopped. He sped up and pulled his car over, got out and started to jog towards me. I saw an old man on foot and asked him to help me as I pointed towards the man running towards me. He told me to run and confronted the creep. I got away. I am so grateful I ran into that old French man 😭 he saved me and I have no idea what would have happened next.

[@lalajean452]

Im so sorry that happend to you , im glad youre ok . Despite the darkness of this world some people choose goodness .That old man have a blessed life after he saved you . May the world filled with this kind of people .

[@zy_zir]

french man saves you from french man

[@amethyst_and_lace]

@@lalajean452 thank you, love 💓

[@amethyst_and_lace]

@@soph4002 I’m so sorry, love. I’m glad you’re okay💜

[@hazalminsin1711]

Let's just say that unless your dad is Liam Neeson, it probably wouldn't have ended well.

[@charnaeyoung9815]

Child murders never have optimistic endings. I can watch a thousand cold cases and other shows but as soon as I hear about how a child suffers, I just can’t mentally recover as quickly.

[@boredweegie553]

I agree.but from a different perspective.im a child psychologist and before I chose the branch of psychology,I studied serial killers...intensely.and obsessively...very unhealthy..I took a break as it took a toll on my mental health.I then decided to go down the route of young people and children..I'm a mother was a single mother so it's close to my heart.Yeah..it is indeed.disturbing.I leave crying before going home..My kids are all adults..only one lives with me who's autistic and I need.to cleanse myself before being a mother again at home..It's a hard job but it's needed..not enough professionals for all the children,that struck a chord with me when my kids were young.seeing all the abuse happening round about me at the time.broke my heart so it was a.no Brainer for me..went to uni but I had been studying psychology for 6 years as a hobby before doing my degree..it's not pleasant but it's satisfying knowing you can help one person.♥️

[@boredweegie553]

@Mam Jallow I wanted to be a parapsychologist when I was young..lmao..loved all that..Thank you so much for the kind words.Very much appreciated.♥️

[@urmom9196]

Same here.. knowing that they suffered physically makes me ill. I couldn't even finish the Gabriel Fernandez documentary 💔 it hurt too much

[@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587]

me too :(

[@boredweegie553]

@@laur-unstagenameactuallyca1587 ♥️

[@Rose-xy5pe]

I lived a sheltered life with loving parents and in a safe neighborhood, but watching a movie like this and others made me aware that evil could lurk anywhere. Even in people who I thought were my friends. When I was in middle school we had a gym teacher who always talked to me and acted friendly toward me. But for some reason he always would pester me about wearing my glasses instead of my contact lenses. I don’t know what exactly he was up to but something about that just didn’t sound right to me so I kept my distance. To this day I don’t know if he was a predator or not but there were rumors that he liked to peek in the girls locker room.

[@dollfaced.zombie]

“You have to be polite.” I was 12 when I was r*ped by a 32 year old man while I was staying the night with a friend in a tent in her front yard. He was her uncle and her family has pounded into her head that it didn’t happen so even though she had to watch it she’s blocked it out and doesn’t believe me anymore. But I remember being in so much pain and terrified of making him angry so I just pretended I had to go to the bathroom, like everything was fine. Then I called my grandmother. It was 3am and I lived just down the street so she was able to pick me up immediately. He was still in the tent so I made sure my friend got inside before we left. Maybe if I hadn’t been so scared of being impolite when he first started making advances on me things would have turned out differently. Or maybe he’d have just gotten angry and done it anyway. Either way, we have to teach our children that you don’t have to be “polite”. Say no. Be rude. If it makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to do it to save anyone’s feelings. It doesn’t always work but it’s a start

[@BarefootDani]

I am so sorry to hear that. It breaks my heart to know there are so many horrible cases like this. I wish you healing and love and I hope you'll always have good people surrounding you

[@SharisseDF]

I hope the burden is a little lighter now... and you are surrounded now with people who care and will protect and believe you. If not, don't be afraid or ashamed. Leave if possible. If not, I hope you will always find some source of strength to get through each day until it eventually becomes easier... Never blame yourself please. Sending you love and healing...

[@dollfaced.zombie]

@@SharisseDF thank you. Through a lot of therapy I was able to overcome the initial trauma. It still changed who I became as an adult because it was such a crucial age when it happened. But I’m fortunate enough to be surrounded by people who do care about me now and it has gotten easier. I still have depression and anxiety but both are manageable with the medication my doctor prescribes and I live a pretty nice life

[@dollfaced.zombie]

@@wilted_rose510 he was apparently abusing her too for many years. And he was drunk so he didn’t really care that he had an audience

[@Jayla_lifts_]

Praying for you

[@vannillabean4092]

I only see a few comments praising Saoirse Ronan's acting in this movie so can we all just take a minute to praise Saoirse Ronan having to act out all those emotionally intense scenes at a young age :") Proves how she's always been great at her craft

[@joanmurphy9111]

I knew then that she would become a great actress. You can't look away from her.

[@bumpet4017]

First saw her in Atonement, I believe she was only 12/13 at the time. Brilliant.

[@satorumybeloved]

loved her since watching this! she's an amazing artist

[@shankapa3182]

She is a consummate professional. I love her acting, she is a phenomenal actress

[@liabutterfield3222]

SAOIRSE IS A BOMB. well, we're here to talk about the film itself, expose the dangers, the blues and its hues. Yet yes! She such a remarkable actress

[@maryjoanna8645]

the film gives closure to suzie, not the audience

[@andi-roo-pookins]

OMG you're right. What an interesting perspective -- it's like we forget who's telling the story and what she wants, because we get wrapped up in the family and in our own feelings. But yeah, the ending is actually perfect when considered that it's Suzie's story and therefore Suzie's conclusion.

[@billyalarie929]

excellent response.

[@animalloverrr2000]

I havent seen this fiilm in a while. could u explain a bit more?

[@maryjoanna8645]

@@animalloverrr2000 so basically susie is murdered by her neighbour and the movie jumps between susie's perspective of leaving the living behind and moving onto the afterlife (heaven), and also her family getting over her death. I feel like we're obviously going to empathise with the living more than the dead, and in the movie it is also heavily insinuated that her neighbour is planning on killing her sister as his next victim, and so throughout the film we just want to see her killer caught and punished. So it's kind of strange for us at the end when Susie briefly returns to earth and decides to kiss her crush rather than expose her murderer, because why would she just let him go free when he could kill other girls? but we forget that it's more about susie's healing rather than our own, and it's about her experiencing something she was robbed of because she was killed so young. So she gets her closure and can move on but we're left feeling really uneasy

[@christinajames6115]

@@maryjoanna8645 to further expand on your point, I would also say that the heavily criticized whimsical like scenes in the in between are needed because as you said. It's Susie's story. She has to come to terms with being dead. It's like they are saying that with death, the journey isn't over. She goes through the stages of grief herself with the anger and sadness etc. We see all the different perspectives from the killer, the victim and those left behind.

[@MyaB1986]

Listening to you speaking about this reminded me just how many times I've been uncomfortable around adult men as a child. And I can't even pinpoint to what it was, it's just the way the look at you or the creepy smile they give you is somehow reminiscent of a predator which invokes a really primal fear inside you. It's the kind of fear which is unique, makes you want to protect yourself but you don't even know how as you can't even understand what's wrong and what's happening and how to fight it. As a child an old man, my grandpa's friend, exposed himself to me and I just ran away and didn't dare say anything as I thought it was my fault. My mom noticed my discomfort when that man was mentioned and knew exactly what happened as he did the same to her. Many, many other occasions like that happened to me, ane as I later found out my sister when we were between ages 6-10. It makes me terrified to think about how many men like that exist around us and we don't even know.

[@eternalypissed]

This movie was more scary, unsettling and disturbing than any slasher, ghost and monster movie combined. And that is because you know that stuff like that is happening all the time in real life.

[@melissawinn3295]

2 be honest this movie still makes me cry 😭😭

[@303Thatoneguy]

I think the most fucked up part of this movie is the family never found her body. That SoB buried her ina land fill

[@tldhaley]

Humanity is the most terrifying threat to its own survival. Always has been, like wtf?

[@gidgitvonlarue679]

Exactly!

[@krisk4808]

In real life and in real time. As I write this comment, there’s another Susie (regardless of age) lurking around somewhere here in New York and she won’t see the sunrise in a few hours. It’s unsettling and true when you consider how many people exist

[@Magdalenasfears]

My dad was a cop for 30 years and cried his eyes out watching this movie. I think it hit home too hard, after 30 years of looking for and finding dead children.

[@mayflo9554]

Aw that's so sad. I can't imagine what he's going through 😔

[@sadyoshhours2769]

Your dad's a good man,Sessa

[@debbiefox6846]

Totally get what you are saying. Good men seeing these things...well it really traumatizes them. My husband was in Corrections and my God the things these kinds of men do..... It still affects him when he sees these things on TV as well. Hugs to your dad.

[@larafitzpatrick3140]

🥺🥺🥺🥺😪😪😪😪

[@abbiegordon5703]

He sounds like a good man. Please pass on our appreciation and love for him, that must be a hell of a hard burden to carry. The world needs men like your dad, and were thankful, for him and all who never turn off that inner switch. I hope he’s doing ok 🤍

[@michelleadam9069]

Ten years ago, I was 13 and my brother was 16 when we first watched it together for the first time. During the very beginning of the movie I commented how uncomfortable I felt with the way Harvey was acting towards Suzie because it reminded me of how similar it was to the way some of our dad's work associates would be like when I meet them. At first, I said it in a light joking manner because anytime I say I'm starting to get uncomfortable with people I don't know very well, my parents either reprimind me for being rude ("be polite") or too shy. My concern's weren't being taken as concerns. Just whinings. You know, as most Asian parents do. And then BAM! Suzie get's attacked and the screen fades to black. We both knew that she had just been murdered but the first time I watched it, I didn't realize the implication that Suzie was SA as well. But my brother did. From the jiggling sounds of the belt buckle being dropped. After the movie ended, my brother said that if anyone made me feel that way ever again, to go and tell him and to just stick with him. And if he can't physically be with me, to call him. My brother became more of a parent than our actual parents considering how we raised each other since we were old enough to walk. His friends once made fun of him for being overprotective of me(he isn't) while I was right there with them and my brother casually says, "Yes, because I don't want my sister to be the victim of some psycho. I care about her. And if anything happened to her, if, god forbid, she dies, because I ignored her and brushed her off when she told me about the creep who won't leave her alone, I will kill that SOB and then myself because I can't live with the regret of failing my sister when she had asked me for help." All while he was still busy spreading peanut butter on his toast and with much more expletive than what I had written. I ran up to my room and cried because I can't believe how lucky I was to have someone who would believe in me and would protect me unconditionally. I'm lucky. Some aren't so lucky.

[@kirakaay]

Very lucky!!! ❤️❤️

[@dolly7759]

There so many stories of kids who the parents never believed...... not to mention some pr eda tors will even dress up like some characters like Santa or other child friendly cartoon characters or the devil and then do sick acts so then the child sounds like a nut case when they do tell their parents...... and then people never believe them because it's to "far fetched" to be true.......

[@andreiadsnt]

Your brother is awesome ❤️

[@karenalexamaeallada4097]

You are so lucky to have your brother,, cause some predators are in the body of their own family members 💔

[@SharisseDF]

This should be a recommended watch for families... For parents, as a warning and caution... For brothers/sisters to start looking out for each other. For yourself, to open your eyes to the possible dangers of the real world.

[@ikimchi4753]

Fun fact: Stanley (who plays the murdering r4p1st) only agreed to play the role if he has a complete makeover wherein he’s does not look like himself. He did not want that character associated with him at all

[@juris1827]

But Stanley himself (the actor) was tattooed in my mind after watching that movie "The Lovely Bones". Whenever I see him on other movies or series after that, "The Lovely Bones" movie was the first thing that ring a bell on my mind. 😁

[@okoyechristiana1396]

Seeing Stanley Tucci star as Mr Harvey in The Lovely Bones made me see him differently after I remembered other movies he starred in.

[@NinjaFlibble]

I understand him wanting that. Plenty of people who can't divorce a character from their actor and will hate an actor because they did an evil character well or whatever other reason they don't like a character

[@liasunshine7470]

I got over my hate for this character through my Love of Stanley Tucci. It's easy, he's amazing. I really loved him as Paul Child & I think he's about to Play Whitney Houstons manager which should be Amazing!

[@thebidding.870]

I remember him as Nigel 👠

[@Rose-xm4og]

What actually should be focused on is not ‘stranger danger’, but ‘strange behavior’. Which means, regardless of whether you know someone or not, you’re always aware ahead of time if their behavior is something you can trust or not.

[@violetjnes]

Honestly the worst part isn't being scared for yourself but being scared for the girls in your family and friends

[@aldenwashington3285]

Happening to me is one thing but this happening someone I love?? I’d die of heartbreak.

[@madahikhan3352]

Exactly! I have a little sister and I always in fear of what can happen to her if I'm not near

[@aldenwashington3285]

@@madahikhan3352 remind her to be careful and watchful I always remind mine 😣

[@Yogirliej4dee]

Even I’m scared letting my kids out of my. sight

[@kdy5280]

Happens to little boys too. Such a sick world

[@kirstymarie2559]

The worst part for me is when it shows you his other victims.... so disturbing.

[@leo-fs1rb]

Oh god don’t remind me 😞

[@smokerbuddy4204]

When they showed his younger victims in the water. That scene always traumatized me

[@AngelMartinez-lm7cu]

THEY WERE JUST BABIES! THE YOUNGEST COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE THAN 4/5!

[@rach2601]

@@AngelMartinez-lm7cu the youngest was like 5/6 I can't remember

[@arielm1374]

That was thw worst part for me. I started looking into ditches and things after seeing that scene as a teenager thinking maybe I could help find a lost person 😞

[@hellogoodbyeandallinbetween]

I remember reading that Stanley Tucci kept feeling the need to apologise to Saorise as he felt very disturbed by the role he was playing

[@Risingofthephoenix]

Stanley played that role WAY too well. This movie should've won awards. Knowing what rapists and kidnappers are like having experienced these people he played it accurately. He made me feel the same deeply unsettling feeling. I know he's not at all like that irl he's a damn good actor to play that off. Incredible

[@Hellsichtig]

@@Risingofthephoenix He most likely is a ped 0 though.. as the whole of hollywood is a network of ped0 philes for ped0 philes. I know it sounds crazy. Epstein.

[@_iamlilla]

@@Hellsichtig um.. well since he kept apologizing to Saorise, I don't think he was one and actually felt disgusted by his role

[@Hellsichtig]

@@_iamlilla Clearly you don't understand but eventually you will (hopefully), just pls boycott Hellywood. This is big.

[@_iamlilla]

@@Hellsichtig i don't mean to be rude but randomly calling someone a pedophile just because they played one well in a movie is absurd. Yeah, I do think Hollywood has some powerful people that are horrible, but not everyone in Hollywood is.

[@jayrossxo]

Still one of my favourite movies to watch! I still cry when watching it. At first I was the same as everyone, feeling disgusted, empty and unsettled. However, I've been through life experiences, it became comforting. Comforting because it shows the stages of grief, it shows that sometimes we won't get the justice and closure we want but, it also shows how to overcome it and still continue with life. The ending where her mom comes home and finally accepts Suzie's death by entering her room, shows a sense of freedom, release and a new beginning. Which happens after something tragic, we can still love and be free even if we lose something or someone dear to us. I used to cry tears of pain, but I cry tears of joy now. It's the reality of life... its beautiful and tragic at the same time.

[@MiaaxXx]

The fact that Stanley Tucci had to go through extensive therapy because of his role as Mr. Harvey shows how badly that role affected him. I read the book years ago as a kid and it was a hard read as a 12-13 year old. And after seeing the movie a year after my own assault as a young adult....it was comforting in a dark way.

[@mirrrstery]

wait really

[@andien8760]

"it was comforting in a dark way" - Just like she quoted at the beginning, "art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed." In other words, it's a privilege to have a comfortable life where stories like The Lovely Bones can be so deeply foreign and unsettling. But for someone who has experienced that darker side of reality, I can see how it would feel almost grounding, providing a sense of solidarity and acknowledgement for what that person has gone through. I'm sorry you had to experience that darker side of the world, and I wish you the best.

[@MiaaxXx]

@@andien8760 Thank you very much, and you're very right.

[@MiaaxXx]

@@mirrrstery Yep. He spoke about it in an interview.

[@yofavvmiri]

@@MiaaxXx what’s the interview called

[@blackllistd5752]

So many people fail to mention that often times people are polite even when uncomfortable because they fear making the situation worse.

[@elmore707]

Sometimes you can save your life by being polite.

[@destinyraex]

@@elmore707 And sometimes that will be the thing that will kill you

[@sydjohnson4930]

Sounds like you’re damned if you do, you’re damned if you don’t

[@richardgomez1151]

They kill you with kindness and prey on your sympathy. It's like a spider web 🕷️. You won't really have time to think or scream. You won't ce it coming... No matter how smart you think you are

[@sarahhhhhhhh569]

And that sometimes ‘yes’ is the only option

[@yeahaboutthatthough3656]

It wasn't scary, it was deeply disturbing. It's the kind of movie that was really good but you really, really can't ever see yourself watching again because it leaves a pit in your stomach about it forever. I still have flashbacks about it 12 years later.

[@arrow1042]

I was familiar with this movie but it was only i was 26 and a friend of mine made me watch it..glad im old enough when i saw this..it really leaves you with a feeling of strange, creepy and sad vibes as if it happened to you..

[@marbleousmel]

I’ve read the book once. I don’t know if I can ever read it again. I still remember how it made me feel.

[@sorchamarie4089]

Yeah I always get a lump in my throat thinking about it..

[@elle7981]

Can’t believe I saw this in elementary school lmao

[@yeahaboutthatthough3656]

@@elle7981 yiiiiikes

[@bwy553]

This is one of the saddest movies of all time right up there with the boy in the striped pajamas. technically, she DID know him he was the neighbor she and her parents said hi to everyday. My favorite part of the movie is how her sister got to her age and she got true revenge: she removed his ability to hide and made HIM the hunted.

[@Mexicobeanpole]

I was 16 and I walked 2 miles to school everyday with a friend. We lived in the same apartment building. One day she was sick, and I had to walk alone. A man, that I had met, that lived in the same building, came up in his car and asked if I wanted a ride to school. We all knew him in the building. He was friendly. In his 30s I think. I got in. Not scared at all. We were going through a residential neighborhood when he pulled over, stopped the car, and attacked me. I fought him off, but he was much stronger. I had on a dress and he got as far as shoving his hand up my privates as he forcefully kissed me. People that say “ it happened so fast” Aren’t exaggerating. As I was trying to push him off, a man came out of the house we were in front of, to get in his car. I jumped out. The creep drove away, and I just burst out crying. The man saw me but said nothing. My male teacher when I got to school didn’t ask if I was ok. It was obvious I had been crying. I never told anyone. One week later the creep came up to the buildings pool as I was swimming with my friends. His words to me I’ll never forget. “If nobody walked up on us, I could have done whatever I wanted.” To this day, I know what he said is true. This was in the 1970s. I’m 60 now, and I still feel scared for 16 year old me.

[@noneyabusiness6504]

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[@crazierthan-u7571]

What a shitty experience. It's hard even now for most women to talk about things like this, but in eras gone by, it was harder still because you could tell that the people you counted on the most might not have had your back.

[@dayanaragarcia0818]

I am so sorry you had to experience that , gosh some people are so sick !! I’m glad 16 year old you fought back 💛

[@Ichifate]

@@crazierthan-u7571 well, to bad the author sent an innocent man to prison for 16 yrs, and he was only exonerated a month ago, having to go 22 yrs as a registered SO when he did literally nothing not at one point did she come out and say it wasn't him, not at 1 point.

[@maiawatson6557]

@@Ichifate your hateful words have no place under this woman’s hard story shared. Go elsewhere to take out your anger.

[@laurajaynenolan2149]

This movie is unsettling because it’s so real, not just possible but probable. There is also a sense of ‘being close to the victim.’ It’s a very intimate view of their lives. It’s also frustrating for the viewers because we know what happened and know the family will probably never find out.

[@Zm54321]

I remember wanting to watch it because the intro was so lovely but oh boy was I so wrong. If I could unwatch it, I’d do that. It’s been at least 10 years and to this day whenever I see Saoirse Ronan I feel distressed remembering the movie. I didn’t even watch this video recommended by YT and looked directly into the comments!

[@stephanimishelle1605]

"Be polite, you have to be polite " that quote make my stomach hurt so much, I watched this movie in my catholic school and I was terrified, this make me so scare of people and how they take your innocence, I hate it more because it was so real, so many girls and kids lost without justice, I remember my mom crying and telling me to be strong and never let me if someone want to touch me, she herself suffered abuse and I realize why she was so overprotective with me and to this day she still is scare of my safety. Its horrible that we lived with this scare in our minds and if this happens we need to deal with the pain, it's just makes my heart break.

[@reeflarkin1919]

Politeness is such a big thing- so many times I, and other people I know, have been in shitty situations and felt they couldn't get out because of politeness. I remember literally running away from this creep in Calais because he would not leave me alone- even force hugged me. I sprinted down the street and around a corner but it took me way longer than it should have because there were people around I felt really awkward telling him to get off and stuff. I even gave him my number because he called my phone to check and I felt rude not to- I had to get a male friend to speak to him and tell him not to ever call again or he would press charges. I'm trans btw so not female but whenever women talk about this I fully understand. I remember going for a run (this years after the other incident, at the start of my transition) with a binder on and short hair, and a car slowed down beside me, my heart started racing until I remembered I looked 'like a boy' now and I was 'safe' then I got really mad at that reality. We need to raise our boys better.

[@trishl707]

I promised myself that I would never raise my kids to believe they had to be “polite” when it crosses their personal boundaries. Never. They can tell me anything and everything and have the absolute right to say no to anyone, including me and their Dad and ALL other family members and strangers for any reason at any time. Their body is their own, not mine.

[@gabrielamarcus]

All of your comments reminded me about an apparently unrelated matter; It's very known the theory that being raped as a child causes a boy to become homosexual in adulthood. Well, A recent study said that is not that the rape causes this modification in child's sexual oriantation. The problem is that tyese boys showed even before the rape some traits associated with feminine behavior (More sweet, polite and compliant), than gender conforming boys. The study also showed that girls that are more tomboyish, have less probability of being sexually assaulted in childhood than their "girly" peers. But in boys, the chance increases as they behave more "girly" In other words: Girly girls and more passive boys make easier preys for molesters. (Sorry my bad english, Im not a native english speaker)

[@Soul-OnFire]

Most of us females in one form or another experienced abuse in some kind of way. I can tell you that the lucky ones live with it for a long long long time. Most cant or die during the event. Its crazy, but so prevalent.

[@LorenaMartinez-gs4fe]

Oh man I always say that and I am very polite like I curse like sailor but I’m polite. Yikes

[@cryptosporidiom]

The most upsetting part of this movie is that this poor girl's ghost has to watch Marky Mark try to piece together an extremely obvious mystery, and then do it too late.

[@EAHorror]

I'm a horror hound and I've seen so many horror movies. THIS movie gets under my skin. This movie is one of the scariest movies I've ever seen.

[@QualityCulture]

Same, I've seen a lot of horror movies but this one really stays with me quite a while after watching, the way you say it "gets under my skin" is spot on

[@flyingfranky]

helo i know this is very off topic but what are some of your favorite horror movies? i don’t know which ones to watch anymore

[@EAHorror]

@@flyingfranky check out The Night Flier here on KZbin. It's an older movie by Stephen King, and very underrated.

[@flyingfranky]

@@EAHorror thank you so much !

[@EAHorror]

@@flyingfranky you're welcome! If you're looking for something newer Oculus was pretty good. Mirrors is a good movie too.

[@stubbyboardman701]

I remember that part when her sister went to find evidence in Mr. Harvey's house. God that was so scary. The feeling of suspense that she would end up just like her sister was so terrifying.

[@AbigailThinks]

Even scarier was that she was meant to be the next victim! If it had come to pass i don’t know what I would’ve done. Two daughters gone by the same man, and he probably would never have been caught either.

[@brenda8538]

I’ve re watched this movie a couple times and I always have to skip that part. I cannot handle the anxiety and everything that comes with it even though I know she gets out safe I can’t do it.

[@vinci2617]

Fr, I was literally so scared that her life might be endangered and she will have the same faith like what happened to her sister.

[@aldenwashington3285]

The part made me so angry and anxious

[@lukeskywalker8012]

I was BEGGING that her sister didn’t go next. I was begging the movie gods that the family didn’t need to go through it twice.

[@eduardaarrais]

I liked all those visuals of Susie's perfect world, not because it's meant to be realistic, but because it's supposed to be optimist and give you a happy ending, but all it did was leaving you with this sickening feeling that won't go away. Like eating too much candy after vomiting. You can still feel the vomit in your mouth.

[@annikarobertson8418]

I don’t think it was intentional to leave u with a happy ending. You can see in Susie that the in-between is great at first, doing everything that you want even if it’s silly. It was the place to push Susie to move on, she didn’t want to leave her family. The world gives u a sense of panic to leave, as it was doing to Susie. But both the audience and Susie were holding on Not ready to end. The audience holding on for justice, and Susie holding on for a normal life and her family. Keeping her in the in-between. It is shown that she can’t stay that she has to move on. The unsettling feeling is meant to remain to appreciate life as it is horrible when it’s gone.

[@ЮліяОтрішко]

I'd say it's the imbalance between the two: on one hand, the author of the book and the director REALLY WANTED the girls to receive some consolation and, well, karmic "reward", but on the other hand, irl there is objectively no guarantee that real victims go to some heaven rather than just cease to exist. I think it was done intentionally.

[@Andrew-bf2oj]

I was at a grocery store once and I noticed this man looking at a woman and her child. When I finally checked out I saw the same man looking out the window at the same woman and her child. He was locked in and didn't notice anything around him. I have no idea what made me do it, but I walked over to where she parked and told her what I observed, and I know I freaked her out, but I know what I saw. It was the creepiest feeling I've ever seen. It felt like a predator stalking prey.

[@VyvienneEaux]

I think I remember that in the book, Suzie was annoyed to be invited into the hole and declined to enter but, because she didn't want to disrespect her elder, she acquiesced. As a young adult, I have experienced a few similar scenarios (minus the murder) where I felt uncomfortable but didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause a scene or upset the man.

[@frenchgirl5878]

This is why we need to start trekking children that it’s okay to be rude or run away when they feel unsafe.

[@Ælfgifu-1]

@@frenchgirl5878 Absolutely!

[@fromthecommentsection6346]

@Rae Jacks most of these cases arent even caused by strangers. Its usually family, close friend, or neighbor. After reading the original comment i made it clear to my 7 year that its ok to be "rude" to any adult that makes her feel uncomfortable or in danger; no matter who it is. And if she ever tells me thats the reason she was rude or misbehaved she wont get in trouble.

[@kamillesmith2228]

No bc fr my parents always said if they’re older do what they say and if you have a problem with it still do it and talk to them so that led to me being to afraid to say anything when my older cousin molested me and I was so embarrassed I didn’t tell anyone for 12 years they don’t understand how it affects us

[@Ælfgifu-1]

@@kamillesmith2228 I am so sorry!!!

[@victoriah2025]

I don't think I know a single woman who hasn't had an uncomfortable or disturbing encounter with a man. When I was younger, around 9 or 10, me and my friend were followed all the way to my doorstep by a strange man sitting on a bench that we walked past. He only fled when I ran inside, in tears, into the arms of my stepdad who immediately went outside to check. The police did nothing, despite knowing the man and his previous reports. Scary world. Especially for women.

[@angiesof]

i’m so sorry you had to experience that. it must’ve been terrifying. i’m glad you’re okay

[@rosiebud7922]

Wtf you were so small! It never ceases to amaze me how cruel people can be. I also don't know a single woman who hasn't had a scary encounter with a man. My grandma, her sisters, my mom, my aunt, my cousins, my high school friends and myself all have various scary experiences! It's so incredibly common.

[@andreaelizeth]

I had the same thing happen to me walking home from a dance rehearsal, I was alone though and he couldn't follow me home because instead I went somewhere crowded. It was one of the most terrifying moments in my life, it's so sad how many of us can relate to this terrible experiences.

[@hebe309]

Same thing happened with my friend multiple times when they were 14

[@mkuti-childress3625]

I can’t even tell you how many times something like that has happened to me or people I care about over the years. I’m much older now, so I thought it was over. But just weeks ago, a man who wasn’t even wearing a mask was inappropriate to me while I was out walking my pet. I had almost forgotten how awful it felt, and I was angry at myself for even being surprised.

[@megaroo6110]

I think of this movie when I watch The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, there's a scene in which the killer tells Daniel Craig's character that people are more worried about being polite than about the danger they know they're in. They'll walk into a dangerous situation because the fear of offending is greater than the fear of what will happen. That's what we teach our kids "be polite" to adults, just like Stanley Tucci's character tells Susie. We teach our kids to do what adults tell them to do, instead of saying "fuck you". I'd rather my kids say "fuck you".

[@dishamagnani5711]

You are quite right. But what i noticed in the movie and also in the book was that susie was curious about the 'clubhouse' that harvey built and she wanted to see it. She wasn't trying to be polite.It was only after she entered the 'clubhouse' she sensed something was wrong. So yeaa.. What you said is true but sometimes these ppl know how to lure a child. It's really sickening.

[@SageWolf219]

I agree. My parents did tell me to be respectful to adults but if you feel uncomfortable speak up, let it be known. They also said not to trust strangers and to even be cautious about people you know. When I was about 4 or 5 I was molested by my cousin. My father never wanted him around at any family functions. Both my parents wanted him dead too. This all made me realize at a young age that even though people seem like they have good intentions it could all be lies and manipulation. I definitely don’t trust so easily now as a grown woman. I keep my guard up a lot and unfortunately it has and still does affect my relationships with people.

[@toomuch2874]

it’s crazy how after seeing that movie that scene was all i could think of, what the killer told daniel craigs character. and watching this video, that line was all i could think of again bc there’s so much truth to that sentence.

[@nyxst-cyr7993]

Sometimes being polite can save your life tho. Teach kids to defend themselves if need be :)

[@BinniesDwaekki143]

The Americanized remake of that movie was absolute garbage. It's in Swedish for a reason; it's a foreign film! I don't see anyone Americanizing Amelie. Anyway, I digress.

[@sorntrash]

Stanley Tucci and Saioirse Ronan’s performances were amazing. Mr Harvey was terrifying and the scene with Lindsay inside his house was really hard to watch, it was that suspenseful.

[@watcherman222]

According to some sources, Stanley Tucci was so stressed on his role as Mr. Harvey that Saoirse Ronan gave him a hug to calm down.

[@lizc6393]

"No. Be polite. You have to be polite." If I had to pick a quote to sum up the movie, THAT would be it, holy shit.

[@petrfedor1851]

People who demand politness are always incredible suspicious and unlikeble to me.

[@kanamenoname210]

@@petrfedor1851 Not only that but it's a subtle way of telling women how they get caught up in wrong/bad situations, it's because society expects us to be polite and not say much or cry or fight or do anything to annoy or agrevate others. This was a way to say, don't be polite, especially if it means that it can save not only your life but someone else's too.

[@Ælfgifu-1]

Absolutely. Sometimes, being polite is deadly. Fuck being polite.

[@nicky6237]

@@kanamenoname210 I was just thinking of that earlier. My friend and I were getting catcalled and I felt like I had to be nice to them even tho they made me extremely uncomfortable. It shocked me that my friend felt so comfortable ignoring the heck outta them.

[@buddhababy2005]

Very true. Politeness killed Suzie. I am the same generation as her & i really relate to the compulsion Suzie felt to be polite to Mr.Harvey. By the end of the film, times had changed and the girl he approaches finally tells him to ‘piss off’.

[@tzisorey]

I'm glad you acknowledge the whole "most of the abuse is done by people they know" - everyone seems to focus on "Stranger Danger", and yet go "Oh, go give your uncle a hug - he's family!"

[@SamuraiShizuo]

Same with se*ual assault. People tell women to watch their backs in public and dont go out alone at night, while statically the person most likely to assault you is your boyfriend/husband, father, uncle, friend etc.

[@p.art4705]

My father always kept telling me even as a kid to always keep a safe distance and never ever let even the closest Male or female relatives/friends inside my home without my folks. For the longest time I felt like my parents were worrying too much but there is no such thing as being too careful.

[@Oliviagarry69420]

@@p.art4705 ok your dad is sadly understandable protective

[@MascaraMorada]

I wrote a seperate comment about this but my parents mads me watch this movie when I was 12 and told me if I was too affectionate or kind with the wrong person, it would be my fault if I ended up getting hurt or worse. Me hugging teachers even up to that age was over because they had sullied it with victim blaming. I was still nearly assaulted later in tenth grade despite not enagaging with that classmate in a friendly way. I avoided him, got away from him and his gang and dodnt respond to any of the ablest jokes they made about me. While my parents understandably were cautious about male strangers and relatives, I just didnt realize I had an abuser so close to me and from so early on with my dad. Nothing physical when I got older of course, but he no longer needed to hit me to make his point. Unfortunately, some people are closer than we think and its a real shame we can't avoid that at times.

[@tzisorey]

@@MascaraMorada This 👆

[@lj9193]

When she emerged from the bunker and we thought she got out , but she actually died 😭

[@elenal.95]

When I tell you I was pissed. 😠

[@Blueeclipse.]

That’s was literally so sad

[@allaboutbeebo4092]

Rt I remember watching this at 13 really thinking she got out and my mom was like she died 🤡🤡🤡🤡

[@emilycabral6578]

@@allaboutbeebo4092 man my dumb ass was watched by myself. I got kept skipping parts mostly the part where he was in the bathtub. I was like what trippy shit is going on 😭🤡. It wasn’t until later I realized she was dead.

[@michellemcgill9328]

Omg I was straight up sobbing

[@ponypower8]

I'm a dad, my kid's a teen, and I must admit that this movie is among of the scariest, saddest and most painful movies a parent can ever see.

[@foxsmith770]

As a male who was sexually molested by my male neighbor as a child this movie made me feel uncomfortable yet relatable at the same time. It made me confused and scared, still can't bring myself to rewatch it

[@shana6275]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope you know you're a strong person and you didn't deserve anything that happened.

[@sophie-s8w]

I’m so sorry...I hope you know you did nothing to deserve it. You’re so strong and brave. Sending love and wish you the best

[@purplelemons6277]

I hope you get to heal ❤cause no one can really come back from that takes time to heal but i hope you find some peace

[@Sym11037]

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you, but thank you for telling your story. It helps getting rid of the idea that only women are molested, abused or worse things. I don't know how much time has passed since then, but I hope you have healed now. Stay safe and take good care of your beloved ones.

[@mamamamaria7325]

As a female victim... I agree 👍 it also hits reality that I will never get my justice as everyone wanted from the movie. That's the uncomfortable part... he who damaged at least 20 children as I wasn't the only one, is living (no, I can't do nothing legally, I've tried... don't ask just know the system is messed up) anyways, the reality of it thats how I'm going to see my justice. His death, whenever he dies if I don't die before him.

[@notreehill1756]

In re the criticisms of the extravagant CGI- I personally like it because it IS childish. Salmon was literally a child who had her dignity and her life taken away from her. She missed out on a lot of her childhood and all the great things life has to offer was taken away from her adult life too. People often remember victims in a dark and chilling way and understandably so. But the CGI sequences gave back Salmons dignity, childish innocence and make the audience think of these poor victims in a positive and beautiful way as they ought to be. Just my two cents :)

[@mad8598]

This. And it’s in the book - Jackson didn’t just make it up because he loves CGI. In the book when Susie first passes over and is coming to terms with the end of her life, she goes nuts conjuring up all kinds of young teen girl fantasia to comfort and distract herself. After a while it stops satisfying her, and she starts spending a lot of time watching her family and the main part of the story plays out. Then after she’s had what closure she can and properly said goodbye to life that’s when her version of heaven becomes more quiet and reflective. That is one thing the movie changed. In the book there’s no “in between”, it’s just heaven, except how it looks depends on who you are and you share it with people who have similar perceptions and likes. At the very beginning Susie’s heaven is an idealised fantasy version of senior high school as she’d been looking forward to it so much, but it’s all games and dances and the classes are only ones she likes like art. As time passes her heaven changes as she is able to let go of those hopes for her future life.

[@notreehill1756]

@@mad8598 Thank you for sharing this! I never read the book so I didn't know about this. I think that is something really beautiful and is how I like to think of heaven myself

[@leylalj1207]

This is so nicely put, I hadn’t thought about it in this way. Thank you!

[@sAINTDeVille]

Absolutely beautiful, you nailed it ❤️

[@laurenissabelle8162]

The scene with the sister breaking into his house makes me so anxious every time

[@chzzyfryz8818]

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS OH GOD

[@briansantos2833]

god everytime that scene comes on in i'm yelling "RUN GTFO OF THERE" repeatedly

[@veridienn]

SAME OMG when i watched the movie i was so anxious for her even though i had already read the book kdfhkshd

[@ms_cartographer]

My mom forced me to watch it when I was a young teen, and as an adult, I'm grateful that she did. She wanted to show me the dangers of trusting strangers.

[@natj25]

The most chilling part to me is when he says “be polite” it’s such a manipulative and misogynistic thing to say. I’ve been there and this movie depicts how hard it is to deal with that kind of thing when it happens. Ugh gut wrenching

[@realsexyish]

DONT B AFRAID OF PPL, REMEMBER ALL U NEED IS THE GUTS 2 FIGHT BACK N YOULL C HOW EASY IT IS 4 PPL 2 B BROUGHT DOWN!!!!

[@itscris01]

@@realsexyish It’s not always simple or safe, but I agree that we should always put up a fight. I think we should try even if it scares the shit out of us. So fight like hell if you can! Poke their fucking eyes out with your thumbs. Rip their ear off if you don’t know how to defend yourself (learned that in jujitsu) and use your hands or teeth, it doesn’t matter. Get on their back and choke them out with the crook of your arm until they pass out. I think you need to put pressure on the sides of their neck, and keep it up for a few seconds after they go down, otherwise they won’t lose consciousness. You don’t have to be physically strong, but you should always know what you’re doing. Go for it if there’s nothing else you can do and only as a last resort. Some of our self defense laws are fucked up, but it can save your life. Stay safe my guys, gals, and non-binary pals! 💜

[@crazierthan-u7571]

This culture raises girls to be polite or "nice," agreeable. So we often find ourselves engaging with someone we'd rather not engage with. Author Gavin DeBecker advises women that "nice" is a behavior, not a character trait, and women need to stop worrying about being thought of as rude or a bitch. If a guy doesn't hear the "no" part of your response to his offer to help with your groceries, his invitation to his creepy hole in the ground, or whatever, get RUDE. DeBeckrt said he's never seen a woman end up raped or killed for being a bitch. Being nice -- a different story.

[@englishatheart]

How is it "misogynistic"? Most boys are expected to be polite too. Stop acting like it's something only men do and only women experience.

[@crazierthan-u7571]

@@englishatheart Have you ever been just going about your business at work or something and walk by some man you either barely or don't know and heard him utter a bright, friendly command, "Smile!" I have a feeling most guys don't get that, from men or women. I know it's a subtle thing, but it's kind of weird.

[@mochimoonbunnie]

This movie is a gem. This is a real-life issue that happens everyday and needs to be taken seriously.

[@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307]

Unfortunanitfly. I as an 18 year old, can't take stuff like this seriously. It sounds too scary and despressing. The only way to escape it is if you were to go to a different planet but we can't.

[@Jaynicole03]

@@thedesensitizedsympathizer5307 I wouldn’t say you don’t take it seriously. I think you just know your options live or be in constant fear and paranoia.

[@bowsnties6192]

One thing I think about is how the grandmother was portrayed. She seemed very carefree about her granddaughters death. But throughout the entire film, all she did was get drunk and take some heavy anti depressants to cope with the pain she endured in her life, to a point where she didn’t feel that much empathy. But she did know her daughter needed help, and came in to do the wifely duties of the 70s housewife. A real underrated character

[@tonimedlen5371]

and later she stopped wearing make up and being flamboyant - she became more grounded too

[@briannawatkins5846]

I don’t like how she told her granddaughter that her once in a lifetime kiss was by a grown man... as an adult wise women she’d know that the man was a pedophile. So why would she encourage it..? 🤢

[@bowsnties6192]

@@briannawatkins5846 not every woman grows up to realize that grown men are pedophiles, especially a woman born in the 1920s. The author intentionally put that in there to show how normalized pedophilia was back then.

[@bowsnties6192]

@@briannawatkins5846 remember, this is the 1970s and conversations surrounding pedophilia didn’t even exist. Remember the opening credits? “This is before kids were on the side of milk cartons”

[@briannawatkins5846]

@@bowsnties6192 Ohhhh makes sense. So sad even women born in the 1950’s seem to normalize that sort of thing. I’m glad social media in a way has started combating that social norm and promoting mental health now 🥺.

[@Karlsz]

This an excellent, sensitive, thoughtful analysis. My cousin was murdered as a teen and it just haunts us forever, even after his killer was convicted and jailed.

[@Stupidtacocatstuffgrr]

When I watched this again, I noticed in the mall scene Hes lingering in the background. He’s watching her and he seems so unsuspecting

[@CupofGingerTia]

Hmm idk if i ever noticed lol and ive watched this alot, welp time to watch it again

[@jameso2290]

Oh wow, I did not notice that. I rewatched that scene, and he's there in multiple shots. He's leaning on the table watching the girls fashion, he walks right in front of the toy store, and also is standing by the record shop. Every shot, he's so plain and unnoticeable, even when he walks right in front of the camera.

[@CupofGingerTia]

@@jameso2290 i definitely need to watch again and pay attention, how could i miss that after all these years 😣😣

[@gothadjacent]

“My name is Salmon, like the fish. I was here for a moment, and then I was gone. I wish you all a long and happy life.” I don’t know why but this is the most emotionally devastating line I’ve ever heard/read. I cry if I even recite it in my head. Also this was a beautiful video. I don’t often leave comments but I had to share

[@krystingrant6292]

I lost it 😩😩😩😩😩🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[@lamonochromatique]

I feel the same way about this line also.

[@LetsTawkAboutIt87]

Omg this was heartbreaking 😭😭😭

[@michellem5647]

Really

[@dair7947]

Just watched this movie again after 10 years, but more importantly after my little sister Susan passed away, can’t begin to explain how this movie made me feel.

[@tristansoares2452]

This is terrifying, its every kids worst nightmare. Im 19 but im afraid to walk around at night out of fear of this

[@ocarinafrek]

Get a handgun

[@mikeyfrancisz]

Then stay at home

[@BrokensoulRider]

It's every parents' worst nightmare.

[@Le-Soph-Ger]

@@mikeyfrancisz well she is 19, what if she has a job to attend and leave when it's dark? (Which happens even earlier in autumn/winter) Not every country allows you to have a gun and if you use it, you often have to fear consequences because of that. Same with every other weapon. Victims have been sentenced by court for defending themselves with weapons. Honestly, try never to walk alone at night as a women. Especially if you are considered good looking by the standards of our society. Ask co-workers to guide you to your car. Avoid drunk people and try to stay in public if you have to use public transportation. Have a phone with you all the time and if you feel scared, already call someone you know- even though if nothing bad may happen.

[@danieldeleongarcia4684]

@@Le-Soph-Ger Uhh, men get assaulted more often than women statistically. It's a lie to claim that if you're a woman you should do this or that because supposedly women are targeted more. Crime happens, it's your responsibility to try and make sure it doesn't happen to you. I wouldn't advise people to jump through a bunch of inconvenient hoops when just carrying a gun or pepper-spray is good enough and much simpler. If you live in a country that doesn't allow you to defend yourself, consider moving to a country that does. Or defend yourself anyway, fuck whatever law says you can't, paying a fine or being in jail for a while beats being dead.