QUANTUM CONUNDRUM (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Quantum Conundrum and also Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@ArchAngelThomas]

Such a shame I didn't hear about the escapist expo happening 20 miles down the road from me until 3 years after it took place.

[@dutchduk3342]

So wait your in Australia , cool

[@fede6811]

I was accross the world from it, but that must have been a kick in the balls :/

[@zabaoth]

It's okay he said "Not you, the pretty one".

[@ryancosly8510]

@@zabaoth rekt

[@dionisietarlev7081]

"playing games is your job, whether they're good or not if you have any self respect you'll play it till the end. so anyway quantum conundrum" that was genius XD

[@imasiontist653]

why

[@imasiontist653]

@Urrcreavesh i posted this comment 3 years ago. I have literally no recollection of this and no idea what any of these are in reference to lol

[@moldinmolders]

​@@imasiontist653about that...

[@howdoilogin]

I consider myself a PC Gamer. I use Steam more than I use air, I love the fact that my one system can play everything from Thief to Deus Ex to Mass Effect to Dragon Age - you get the idea. But I have had every. single. fucking. problem. with. every. single. fucking. game. on PC. Without fail. I have had this both on my older computer and on my top-of-the-line rig I got recently. And every single 'helpful' PC Master Race gamer acts just like that shitfucker Yahtzee described.

[@BrievaryZowan]

Fun Fact! Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor is done by From Software. Yeah. As in the guys that made Demon's Souls and Dark Souls.

[@runoxb]

and tenchu z , we need a tenchu z2

[@Dorumin]

And armored core

[@lavetissene339]

Really? From By Software? I mean by From Software? Christ that's a shitty name

[@pablodonner5213]

Between this and Discord once has to wonder if John de lancey is not tired of been called to play Q over and over again under a different name

[@TigerKirby215]

I need that ending bit as a forum weapon.

[@Jaceblue04]

"The tutorial went by all right - move the vehicle with the controller and use Kinect to operate the cockpit levers - but the moment I got into an actual mission, fucking Christ! It was like jumping to Expert Freebird on your first morning of Guitar Hero lessons." lol

[@beargrills3508]

Maybe the slomo dimension is when the bartender put something strange in the glass while you were looking away.

[@absentcoder4552]

How fitting the voice behind Discord was involved in such a wreck.

[@tarrker]

I love this review. Whenever someone tells me I need better hardware after I complain about poor software performance I give them a link to this video. I've seriously lost track of how many Steam games I've bought where I had nearly double the recommended hardware specs and yet the game still ran like shit down a wall made of thumb tacks.

[@PleasantWhale]

1:40 I love John De Lancie's voice acting. Was so happy to hear him in SC2 Legacy of the void. 4:52 ... Whoever said that... Can jump in a hole... With fire and spikes in it... "Oooh if you can't code in Javascript you don't deserve to be a PC gamer." Eat crap... Ok, let's see what Yahtzee says... 5:00 Thank you.

[@krasykay2294]

Question, can i use any type of engineer souls to fuel my computer or do they HAVE to be microsoft... then again if i feed it EA employees they'll charge a login fee everytime

[@duke8259]

Kakeyio Microsoft engineers usually works best but any will do

[@sophiewillow3312]

I wouldn't even bother trying Apple engineers, they'll just make everything look good without putting in any performance to back it up

[@chunkyjoe8673]

Actually EA engineers souls are quite inexpensive and have rather good performance just chain them up properly so that they don't escape and just steer clear from marketing souls as they are the ones that'll charge login fees

[@BlackLegion12621]

"Steel Battalion" a game so horrible, it didn't even make the review title.

[@parallax7789]

but still made it to the bottom 5 that year

[@maxhydekyle2425]

+Parallax77 even though he barely reviewed it

[@shadiafifi54]

He spent all of 46 seconds reviewing it. Out of a 5 minute video. And yet that's all he _needed_ to know it's shit.

[@badd7407]

It shares honor with Blade X.

[@brainstorm623]

"I am trust worthy!" "No you're not." 50 bucks that right speaker is the one Glados is talking out of us.

[@Kemonokami]

>John De Lancie >Logic-defying shenanigans in surrealist environments Anyone else see a rather… _chaotic_ pattern here?

[@lunethspark]

hohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@Kemonokami]

TheTrueCheeseMaster I don't go to 4chan.

[@Kemonokami]

TheTrueCheeseMaster No, seriously. I don't.

[@megarandom]

@@Kemonokami It's okay to not get something without blaming it on 4chan.

[@megamaxmax4]

5:00 I just love this part. I cannot stop playing it.

[@bobcooper82]

Is there such thing as a member of the PC master race that plays older PC games that can run on common rigs?

[@janatownsend-gee3409]

Rc Cooper yes, you are the knights that protect our sacred order

[@LilianOrchard]

Rc Cooper Yes. It's called somebody with a firm grasp on financial responsibility.

[@bobcooper82]

Jerry Peet You sir... have hit the nail on the head.

[@pivot1022]

Rc Cooper yeah man, xcom ufo defense is my shit

[@BaranZenon]

***** With me it was like - My PC sucked balls and I was forced to play older games which didnt make my bitch old rig to spontaneous combust. But when I finally got a better PC I crawl out my stinky hole... and went back in it. I mean, the only new game I played, that my older machine would not handle, was Wolfenstein New Order. The rest didnt tickle me the right way. Its just there so many awesome classic games that I never played (recently I have begin my first walkthrough of Thief Dark Project) that why should I bother with some modern ones that are not that good?

[@coolfunkDJ]

OMG the best ending ever :P

[@coolfunkDJ]

xD

[@Jaceblue04]

Sure was, Ms. Fluttershy :3

[@ChessPieceRook]

herp derpington [retracted]

[@coolfunkDJ]

nooo, you dont understand, my old profile picture was fluttershy, thats why he posted it, sorry for the confusion

[@ChessPieceRook]

My bad then. I retract my comment and wish you all a good day.

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

Man you know its an old video when Yahtzee jokes about TF2 getting too much attention from Valve

[@dodderythedromedary6890]

As a TF2 player, It's also just sad ;-;

[@ryansample6016]

"And the Slow Motion dimension, where this analogy breaks down." I broke my ribcage laughing.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

Hats off for calling out those elitist snobs that systematically make me take a step back from pc gaming every time I come around to it

[@Electric0eye]

4:59 Yahtzee says what we all wanted to say since the dawn of the internet.

[@TheHappyKamper]

That bit with the safes you did wrong. You have to make them all heavy, so they fall through the lasers and align themselves on the ground. Then make them float enough to get momentum, then quickly make them all heavy to avoid lasers on their way up. Then finally slow mo them as they fall (perfectly aligned) and hop across them all. I know this review is from years ago, but I've been playing this game on PC recently and loving it; and just wanted to clear that up!

[@AlanHaskayne]

Yahtzee sums up my opinion on PC elitists well

[@VincentVanGamer]

I just watched the completion of this game on a Let's Play today. The whole game is beautiful and hilarious but does look easier to watch than play. lots and LOTS o jump cuts.

[@hikerwolfspaine8200]

What if dare I say. We show the player's lower body???!?!?!

[@rinusluijk3514]

+Hiker Wolfspaine Games like this should just use third person view. If your character has to jump a lot, then don't make it in first person view.

[@Tobygamesiscool]

Try playing this game with bad depth perceptiona and a shitty pc, yeah that was fun. although I have never had a problem with first person platforming and I don't see how seeing my legs could help but hey what do I know?

[@jonathanfaber3291]

I think fundamentally there's perhaps a nuanced skill that for most of the time is so irreverent to the average gamer that nobody picked up on it. Like, for example since I almost always play first person games, I've kinda gotten good at first-person platforming, the key being short iteration times and nothing better to play than minecraft, and to track the platform you're landing on with a mouse so that you should be looking directly down at it

[@ryancarter2959]

in the immortal words of Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw BURN THE HERETIC

[@rjd-kh8et]

Mirror's Edge realized that first-person platforming needs legs to work, even though Yahtzee didn't like it.

[@EquestriaDJ]

I found my comeback to PC snobs. Thank you, Yahtzee.

[@DimitriosDenton]

You will be happy to hear that most of the bugs and problems Yahtzee described, have been solved! The game is now golden!

[@PascalSchuster]

That moment you realize that Steel Battalion: Heavy Armor was made by the same studio that made one of the best video game series of all time with the Souls games and Bloodborne.

[@PhabioTheHost]

Yes. It feels like someone looked at their Armored Core series and said lets make this thing infinitely worse by forcing motion controls into a perfectly passable game.

[@asaduppal5594]

You, sir, are amazing, your wording impeccable, your points unshakable. Have my like.

[@user-jm7ro5gd9v]

I love his message to the forum poster. Just. Thank you so much. ;~;

[@TheAntiGravityMaster]

I actually liked this game...

[@nottherealpaulsmith]

Yahtzee, valve employees don't make hats for TF2 anymore. They're too busy nerfing good weapons and coming up with excuses for ticket-based updates.

[@davidhill2020]

I had none of Yahtzee's problems when I got it on the 360, so you're probably best off getting it on that.

[@Weldedhodag]

It depends on your computer, not everyone has the same one

[@davidhill2020]

True, but everybody has the same Xbox, so for sheer reliability, a console might be the way to go.

[@Weldedhodag]

*Shrugs* A lot of factors can go into it, I guess.

[@xvyperxx1]

A shitty pc port is no reason to buy a console.

[@davidhill2020]

I certainly wouldn't buy a console just for this. I'm just saying that QC would be better on a console than PC.

[@ThePirateCat78]

Love the limerick at the end XD

[@oneconn9959]

That last message felt really good, that’s the dude that started “pc master race” for you

[@NickNiccelson]

I have another issue with this game that wasn't touched on here. Namely, the script for the voice-over has no creativity at all; Professor Quadrangle cannot hold a candle to GLaDOS in terms of character. Just compare their lines side by side: - "That's a macguffin machine! It dispenses thingies to use with your object-manipulator!" versus: - "Contact with the floor of the facility will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your progress report, followed by death."

[@VanguardFencer]

Did you take that from Extra Credits?

[@NickNiccelson]

VanguardFencer Nice, you watch that show too! The stuff they come up with is just great, isn't it?

[@VanguardFencer]

NickNiccelson Yeah. Its pretty interesting.

[@robertlinke2666]

i read the second line in glados voice, without noticing i did

[@heartsworkbreak662]

"you are a CONT you live in a CONTY house and you drive a CONTY car!" XD i love you yahtzee for this very reason.

[@ArtemyMusha]

Now that you mention it, I'd be totally up for that!

[@willlannin2381]

0:34 my god yahtzee that brings to me such sweet memories of guitar hero 2 I am lolling so much XD

[@TheZaz969]

To the people who say that the PC GAMING MASTER RACE is only those assholes who say that your computer has to be powered by antimatter, and the penis of Ron Jeremy; we are not all that. Those people make up about 5% of the fanbase. The rest of us are normal gamers who dont feel the need to have that.

[@bande198]

if my PC was powered by Ron Jeremy's penis i could run Crysis on maximum

[@OliverJD]

Harrison Visser If my PC was powered by Ron Jeremy's penis I could run Crysis at all!

[@liam24040]

TheZaz969 wasn't the whole point of the term PC master race to take the piss out of the assholes who think your PC should be powered by antimatter and that sorta thing?

[@chazzergamer]

Nahhhh, stop talking out of your arse. 5 percent my bollocks! Is that was the case then PC gaming wouldn't be viewed as unapproachable as it is today. I know friends who avoid PC gaming since the environment and community is just a sewage pit of human filth. The 5 percent are the normal people who are not arseholes, PC gaming might have much more content but I would rather play Overwatch on PS4 than TF2 on PC since I know that the people on Overwatch don't have a need to throw their ego at everyone to make up for the fact they have no other significant accomplishment in their lives.

[@OliverJD]

Charlie Brown k.

[@lutherholayeahme7449]

I thought I clicked on the wrong video at first

[@rory2726]

his last sentence matches rhythm with the outro

[@Overthought7]

Love Yahtzee's description of the dimensions 1:47

[@garabatoparicero584]

This game was great, i loved it.

[@Robert6P6M]

Too bad he didn't.

[@mfkrmaggot2755]

portal without portals

[@pantsoffgaming1428]

I have to say it's amazing how the man who was Wesley can now be quoted as a reliable and fantastic person.

[@MrFidelmios]

I don't know what you're saying but I like how it's put together.

[@PonzooonTheGreat]

To say that the one dude represents the PC master race is like saying that one shouty 8-year old represents console owners or that Hitler represents all Christians.

[@dumpstercast-refuseradio8429]

PonzooonTheGreat I think you shouldn't have to be pestered and made fun of on the Internet for using any one platform for gaming. I like to think of myself as a guy who plays video games, not a console gamer or a pc gamer. I use both, I just use pc a little more.

[@PonzooonTheGreat]

Ben Ackerman The console market harms the gaming landscape. And no one *prefers* a poorer gaming experience for more money.

[@dumpstercast-refuseradio8429]

PonzooonTheGreat I still think we should be able to choose.

[@PonzooonTheGreat]

Ben Ackerman Sure. Let the console players be suckered.

[@dumpstercast-refuseradio8429]

PonzooonTheGreat Well, if they're dumb enough to pick poison over dog shit, let them.

[@MusketGamer]

dat ending XD

[@sk8inkill]

They've been out for awhile, just on the Escapist website.

[@falloutghoul1]

That has to be the best analogy yet.

[@TheKroglander]

the like bar is blue,what the fuck

[@VanguardFencer]

I know right? We have enough blue on Facebook. IT SHOULD BE GREEN! With RED for dislikes. Or stars!

[@Jonipoon9]

I remember the 5-star system, those were the days.

[@Cute___E]

***** I remeber when you couldn't reply to people... 3 days ago.

[@thenecromorpher]

Fijiboy99 I remember when putting a time like ( 0:35 ) in a comment didn't open up a new tab in Firefox, or was useless.

[@thenecromorpher]

thenecromorpher just pressed it and it didn't even move to 0:35, just reloaded the page.

[@JogressGames]

"Shame on you," came a reply, "playing games is your job, regardless of their quality. If you have any self-respect, you'll stick with it." So anyway, Quantum Conundrum is a game available on Steam that comes to us from Kim Swift, "

[@largestloads]

4:38 That picture of Einstein makes me laugh every time i see it

[@A1R3D3E7]

you can use USB port as well to transfer from external hardrive. my point is that you are adding unnecessary costs(monitor) to make your case look stronger

[@peterdietrich8810]

PC master race? Why not Zoidberg master race? (V) (;,,;) (V)

[@jacybrooks8566]

Become a zoidberg today! (V) (:..:) (V)

[@brendanmccabe2249]

Pete Detrick whooop whoooop

[@Sleight-lq8qd]

Because zoidberg can’t run next gen games at a constant 60 FPS Whoop whoop

[@SaintGat99]

John De Lancie's in this game. I'm surprised that there are no bronies in the comments.

[@TH3C001]

The thought _did_ cross my mind... But now a new thought, what have you done!? And another thought, I'm just as surprised as you that there are no comments on it. Guess me and you are the only two who know about it.

[@SaintGat99]

TH3C001 Suddenly a dam breaks somewhere, and millions of ponies start flooding into the streets of this video.

[@fbgp69]

Discord? I- is that you? Im gonna tell all my friends and they will tell all thier friends and so on and we shall take over the comment section!!!!!!

[@TH3C001]

fbgp69... It begins.

[@FillyRarity2]

Raysiclove Damn it man, we've got other voice actors to stalk.We can't be everywhere at once.

[@mrnocamera]

I have a idea that Yahtzee could of used for the drinks trolley thing. And the PCP-Laced vodka shot for the slow motion dimension.

[@CSAPitch]

PCGamer did an article back in February when the new consoles' specs were released, and they built a computer based on the theorized cost (500 dollars). For around 600-700 dollars, they built a PC that doubled the performance of the next-gens.

[@lilyfoxfeet]

Same thing with a console if you dont buy/have a TV to go with it. Most of the time when I get a computer I dont need to buy a monitor, keyboard or mouse because I already have them from my last one and am just upgrading the tech/case.

[@joe2501echo]

I've watched this video half a dozen times, and only just now noticed that the horn on the car is queefing...

[@hassanshahid5832]

8 years ago .. oh my god

[@sordsable]

I do believe his bluff has been called. Well played, my good sir.

[@bmaverick24]

Amen. Plus there's a particular sense of satisfaction when you build your own computer from the ground up. I'm still using parts from plenty of years ago, and it still runs circles around any game I throw at it, granted that the game isn't a crappy glitchy port.

[@Haepax]

the ten foot runup killed me.

[@ZacVrono]

Radio shack, Walmart, and micro center have DVI to HDMI. if you google it a ton of cables come up lol.

[@angeldeb82]

So very funny with all the funny bits and the fairy imp telling Yahtzee to say the c-word a lot! XD

[@ZacVrono]

download is not install time (i was talking about install time), and you can buy a hard copy if you want from game stop or wherever just like console.

[@AtarixTheReal]

1:12 that is one "familiar" fez he is stitching up

[@huntsman0865]

i was going to say something than i saw your pic and started crying....well played

[@hidood5th]

Nice rhyme at the end.

[@AxPOTATOxWITHxCHEESE]

I pretty much played that last part over and over and over and over and over again.

[@Walsh2571]

.ini files can just be opened as txt right? and then there is a list of words and settings with usually 0s or 1s to denote on or off.

[@AkhmenHotep]

What kind of computer do you have Ben, I have a laptop with switchable graphics... dunno could be switching glitch on your end (FPS)

[@steveback9010]

Great ending haha, can always rely on Yahtzee to rip down pretension and snobbery :)

[@robertflinch2447]

It took me all these 11 years to beat this game. I think running through it all at once would sour your opinion of it.

[@beterbomen]

You know, I've never had a problem with First Person Precision Platforming. Here's how I do it: I look down as I'm jumping. That way, I can see the thing I'm landing on. There. Now you'll never cock it up again.

[@A1R3D3E7]

that is because all of those that you just mentioned can AFFORD to use one. if you don't have money you don't NEED to buy a monitor and could use TV which you also need if you wanna use console.

[@DJMJ4]

the portal gu- "oh wait" xD

[@4200Felix]

Mine was cheap and it can be used as a tv as well. Its a rather old monitor though.

[@0522Carl]

I've honestly never heard of a turner card. Though I'm not surprised that something like that exists.

[@TheOtherFagola]

You would think the slow motion dimension would be a mixture of pain killers and what ever alcohol Max drinks.

[@semvision]

Pretty much what I thought of the game. Physics aside, if you are making a game based around first person platforming you have to make sure the players entire body is visible, have ledge mantling, and midair control.

[@Munkimanz]

depends how you shop around for your console games, since ebay and amazon marketplace can be really cheap; i found bayonetta, red dead, mass effect 2 and darksiders for a total of £20 once.

[@MangaManifaction]

Well after this review I can say that the game has been fixed and is a very enjoyable experience

[@daltonsmith433]

"Like a man with no arms and no legs can interact in everyday life if you strap him to a luggage trolly." I cried of laughter

[@Komnen0s]

Why would you leave Valve? From what I hear, Gabe is a really cool boss and the actual working on of games is enjoyable and pays out the ass. Not to mention, if you wanted to make a cartoony first person game I imagine you would get the greenlight.

[@Dartinin]

You can play the sims 3 on medium setings Skyrim plays perfectly fine on minimun setings infact I think you can up it abit and it still plays with no lag. I'm more curious as to where you upgrade to becouse my 3000 is dose a perfect job of cooling itself (usally says around 40's if im active but not playing somthing like Skyrim) and I want a upgrade that isnt going to overheat but give me that performance boast I need to realy get into some of the newer games. Thank you for your reply.

[@RANDALZ]

Full of exclusives with a chance of soft rain.

[@RADIOACTIVEBUNY]

"Glorious PC Gaming Master Race" is pretty damned tongue-in-cheek, at least when I use it. And it's the internet, so of course it'll have dark roots.

[@Vaprous]

Camera based motion recognition software is relatively new and dedicated hardware for it more so...

[@calvinclark9478]

Now, I played portal recently and I didn't think I was going to like it. But after playing it, I fell in love with the portals. Portal 2's 4 portals was somewhat better, but i think that portal is still amazing, even after playing only one level. QC is still really good, but I still think that Yahtzee was right with the gameplay parts of it. I still like the dimensional shifting better for my kind of thinking.

[@spartan3924]

I love you for the pc elitist part at the end

[@Devistacious1]

I have the exact same problem!

[@sethramsey556]

I think he was referring to the time it takes to download the game, and install it.

[@maartenboy37]

THEY ARE STILL MAKING HATS!

[@ArtanKatana]

Thank you oh great voice of reason!

[@eeeee111111rik]

yep

[@ramirezthesilvite]

I had a bunch of issues with Slow Mo too until i got a better computer.