Queer Hollywood Arranged Lavender Marriages

[@look_its_jess]

I has a class in college called "not so straight history" taught by a gay professor. It was one of my favorite classes I've ever taken!

[@qwirky1709]

Damn, wish my college had that

[@pando166]

Wow, that sounds amazing!

[@yuuri9064]

That sounds so great!

[@sophiegrace9523]

I want to take that now

[@uuh.okayiguess]

That's awesome XD

[@CjRazJez]

“No one wants to be the only gay in the village” hits different.

[@mellwie]

Don't worry, according to lgbtq+ movies, a foreigner will soon arrive that also happens to be gay.

[@Alina_Schmidt]

According to statistics it's highly unlikely that there isn't anyone else there already (who's just closeted)

[@CjRazJez]

I grew up in a really small town. 50-80people max. Statistics may say that but my little gay heart felt like it was all alone because “no one else was like me” until I left that town. Your right Mellwie maybe I didn’t wait long enough for my foreigner :) hehe.

[@thebigvee137]

@@mellwie hey just wanted to point out I'm pretty sure you accidentally hit the wrong button. As your comment says hbtq+ Institute of lgbtq +

[@danielled8665]

@@thebigvee137 haven’t you heard? We consider Hispanic a sexual orientation now. Lesbians are so 1950s

[@frenchfriar]

I wanted to point out that lavender marriages need not be loveless marriages. Many couples who married for safety from homophobia married and then had children with their "best friend" of the opposite gender, and raising children together creates strong bonds. Sexual compatibility alone does not a marriage make, though lack of it might a marriage break. The two year length of marriages is in order to fulfill contractual duties, I believe, and many of those marriages were show marriages, and not necessarily between friends, or even couples that knew each other. Please continue these gay history classes! Our history is so fragile and transient, and difficult to pass on. You rock, girl.

[@jensencaldwell5101]

exactly! i have a pair of friends who have that kind of marriage. they attended the same church, have been best friends since infancy, and their parents joked abt them getting married... so they did, because why not avoid conflict and have a reason to live with your bff forever? now her gf lives with them as a "roommate" and godmother to their baby, and they're pretty happy with that, as far as i know. of course their families still make homophobic remarks around them, but not directed _at_ them, and they still have the financial support. it's not ideal of course (ideally, it wouldn't be necessary at all). but it's also not a terribly tragic thing

[@divergentdreamer]

@Thora Friganza Have you heard of asexuality?

[@HeraldHealer]

@Thora Friganza You might be on the Asexual spectrum. It might be helpful to do a bit of pokeing around on the Asexual Visability and Education Network. www.asexuality.org/ Poking around there help work out that I was a Demi, not defective.

[@TheBc99]

My great-grandfather had that kind of marriage. He came out at the age of 100, many years after his wife's death, but apparently she had known all along. While I'm sure the marriage was a happy one, I hope he'd be proud that his descendant is openly gay and won't have to marry a woman.

[@1MikuFan]

Maybe some of these folks were also hetero or bi romantic homosexuals? Sexuality can just encompass sexual attraction, while romantic attraction can be separate. Of course, labels used by every person is subjective, and some people may not use such additional categorizations.

[@jessyg17]

Because too many people prefer a forced, loveless, sham-marriage as long as it's straight, to a caring and loving marriage if it be LGBTQ+. Which is the real insult to the sanctity of marriage here?

[@pheonixrises11]

OHHHHHHH SNAP

[@dollfacedotcult]

jessy popped off here

[@magicmagalie9667]

Too true!!!

[@andrearamirez9924]

WHERE'S THE LIE DOE? 👀

[@kamishy_Art]

🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@madisonm.4535]

Actually having LGBTQ+ acceptance in the 20s actually makes sense to me now I think about it. I have a great interest in historical clothing and from the view of historical clothing I can almost see the acceptance. The clothing in the 20s emphasized androgyny so that actually makes sense.

[@NowTheDreamsWontDo]

The world changes when the men decide to rage a war while the women stay at home to do /all/ of the jobs. It opened a world to them that wasn't previously available. Plus it wiped out a significant portion of the male population so it wasn't even like going back to how things worked before the was was truly an option. I mean it was but that's how the 50s happened. Ew.

[@pattheplanter]

A quote from a BBC story yesterday on a group of gay MPs who sided with Churchill to oppose appeasement of Hitler in the 1930s: He also hopes it will remind people that "progress isn't permanent". "I often worry a younger generation of gay men and women think we will never go back to the era of repression. "But I just say Berlin was the most liberal place in the world in 1930 - yet by 1934 gays were being arrested." www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-54478753

[@hopegold883]

Jessica’s comment section is as top notch as her videos.

[@aksez2u]

@@pattheplanter I think this is brought to the stage in the musical "Cabaret", is it not?

[@pattheplanter]

@@aksez2u That era, certainly. Sadly, I don't recall a song about a group of "confirmed batchelors" who were regulars at Berlin nightclubs opposing Neville Chamberlain's appeasement policies in the British Parliament. They deserve to be remembered in song.

[@RosieStudiesUntil2025]

“Because bisexuals exists, people” Thanks mom I feel so seen

[@eevaaasa8897]

Yaay! Some other recognition besides "so, you do lesbian things with women? Awesome!"

[@KnittyKitty86]

Saaame!!!!♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@alildaisy2180]

Yeah thanks mom ☺️

[@lindseystein9676]

Yes, the bi erasure is real. Especially being a bi woman and I’m married to a man. I’ve gotten the “oh so it was a phase/experimentation then?” before.

[@alildaisy2180]

@@lindseystein9676 ughhhhhhh I’m so sorry.

[@Thegiddyowl]

I can’t get over how cute Carey Grant and Randall Scott are together and would like to hear more!

[@momcat2223]

(psst - it’s Cary and Randolph, actually) Google for more really, um, chummy photos.

[@SquiddyHiggenbottom]

Cary Grant + Randolph Scott: *take loads of cutesy photos together, often gazing wistfully into each other's sparkling eyes* The media: "Oh my god, they were roomates."

[@yuuri9064]

Same! So cute

[@DINOLOVER6717]

@@SquiddyHiggenbottom 🤣🤣

[@hollyg5924]

Riiight omg

[@amethyst1226]

One thing I think Jessica missed is that “straight” marriages afforded the legal benefits of marriage that gay people didn’t have access to.

[@terezaskrdlantova9925]

@Jhalmuriম্যাটার I don't know how it is in other countries but in mine there is legal difference between straight marriage and gueer one when same-sex couples can't both legally be parents of children they raise together. Also they can't inherit after their partners death and so on. So I as lesbian can be married here but I'm not legally allowed to have a child. At least not with my wife. Take it just as example.

[@SebastianSeanCrow]

@Jhalmuriম্যাটার it depends on the country. in the US save for biological children, it's pretty much the same. THe issues come in if one spouse has a biological child via surrogation/insemination and the other spouse doesn't/can't adopt the child. If the bio parent dies, theres the risk of the child being put into foster care. And not every country has legalized gay marriage.

[@mskjaer496]

I'm happy to see that in my country since 2009 the marriage laws are the same to all. There was previous a "partner" law with the same benefits as a marriage. And lesbian spouses can recive ivf or other treatment with the same costs as hetero couples, and all married couples can adopt. (I dont know why you need to be married though... As if that is an stamp of approval 🙄)

[@terezaskrdlantova9925]

@@mskjaer496 Personally I want to have children one day (I'm in my 30's so preferably one day soon) and since there's no legal option for me to adopt or to go for assisted reproduction by myself (and I don't even want it, I want to raise children as a couple in every way) I hope one day there will be at least option to go for such solution as a same-sex married couple. Also it is still not usual to be treated the same way in case of medical or legal emergency if the partners aren't married (at least in my country), and no "official partnership" the only option I have here doesn't really solve that. And of course marriage doesn't have to have the some value for everybody but if people want it it should be possible for them to do it.

[@MiljaHahto]

There may have been even differences in taxation between single and married people. After the war getting married and having children was indeed encouraged.

[@Kaalokalawaia]

So I'm a US Army Veteran and I never heard the term "lavender marriage" before. But wow were there SO many lavender marriages in the Army before DADT (Don't ask don't tell) was repealed.

[@LoriBrooke1]

Navy veteran here! Came to say this as well. Never knew the term but knew that this existed, even in today’s military. That’s mostly because of homophobia and the backlash that lgbt+ military members face when out. I had a GM1 who was adamant that gay parents produce screwed up kids. Meanwhile my mother in law is bisexual and was in an over decade long relationship with a woman at the time. And he had no issue being vocal about his feelings, even going as far to put a printed out pamphlet on my desk “backing up” his claims with opinion pieces as sources. I raged that day and got a verbal counseling by my senior chief for it.

[@joeyknight8272]

@@LoriBrooke1 f that gm1

[@yuuri9064]

Could you explain a bit about this? What's DADT?

[@thebookwyrmslair6757]

AF Reserve vet here. Yup. DADT = Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which was the compromise thought up by the Clinton era Department of Defense to allow gay people to serve in the military, but be punished if they got caught in an openly gay relationship. The lavender marriage was actually encouraged among officers because of the old idea that officers need to be married in order to achieve high rank. 🙄

[@yuuri9064]

@@thebookwyrmslair6757 Thank you for this explanation! I thought that women were generally excluded from the army until fairly recently (I know nothing about this, sorry), so I wonder where they would have found spouses. Do you know whether this was (is...?) something that was more organized by the individuals or by the army?

[@3Oh3metrostation]

"the gays really aren't all that scary. if we were, then the halloween aisles would be a lot more fabulous" - JKF

[@marnirobertson]

OH NO I READ THAT AS JFK AHSKSKAGAKKA

[@kemitstoes5764]

@@marnirobertson same lmao

[@sunsuna972]

@@marnirobertson same here damn lol

[@themedia1271]

I've heard that Judy Garlands love for gay men stemmed from her love for her father who was rumored to be gay or bisexual. Judy was incredibly close with her father due to the fact that her mother was so abusive towards her.

[@alinktoana]

*now* i finally understand "Friend of Dorothy" lol

[@patmullarkey7659]

Yes, her dad was gay. They were run out of town because of it.

[@politecat4236]

@@patmullarkey7659 her father had sexual relations with teenage high school boys that's why he was run out of town

[@skylahblouin7595]

Yes, this is true! Judy’s father was bi/gay, and bcs of her close relationship with him and losing him early in her life, she was drawn to men that reminded her of him. This resulted in her marrying a few gay men, though she never knew her father was gay, so it wasn’t intentional.

[@isaBeast143]

I didn't even think of the fact that the generations don't pass down in the lgbt+ community like most other communities. I assumed that the history was covered by chosen family but that often can leave out decades of learning in a young gay's life

[@hopegold883]

So grateful for all the time and effort Jessica puts into these. All the well-researched data, combined with her own insightful/witty Commentary, combined with lots of period photos/illustrations combine to make her coverage unique and so precious amongst KZbin.

[@connor863]

That's true.^ I'd also like to point out however that non-heterosexuality (LGBT+) is indirectly passed down through generations. Although people who are not heterosexual in general don't reproduce as heterosexuals do (for obvious reasons) they do contribute significantly to the group fitness of their community. Evolutionary, LBGT+ individuals help prevent their friends and family members from being killed which outweighs the decrease in LGBT+ people reproducing. There are many genes that influence genetic orientation and many heterosexuals carry "gay genes" because the phenotypic representations of those genes sometimes contribute greatly to the group's fitness as a whole. Evolutionarily, if a group can't keep itself alive, it doesn't matter how good at producing the next generation they are because they'll go extinct anyway.

[@Co-iu6nq]

Yes i didn’t think of this at all either. And I’m very interested in cultures - and I love how she used that as reference. Most cultures are passed down generationally but being lgbtq+ isn’t hereditary so how could that be the case for our culture.

[@robertjackson3552]

this is why the family's and community we form our selves can be important

[@ayellowpapercrown6750]

"No one wants to be the only gay in the village" really got me. I was the only gay in the village but I just moved to London because I eventually got sick of it haha.

[@ayellowpapercrown6750]

@Jhalmuriম্যাটার never came out, literally just went to another country to do the gay away from everyone else. I’m still getting asked about when I’ll bring a boyfriend home when I go back home for holidays or when I call. I did wait to be financially independent and to have a job and education lined up in London though!

[@conormulligan7966]

@@ayellowpapercrown6750 i fucking love the fact you said "to do the gay" and im going to use that in conversation as often as possible

[@escottish140]

Accordingly, Charles Laughton and Elsa Lanchester was a lavender marriage as well, which lasted until his death, and they were extremely fond of each other (platonically); they were "besties."

[@HattiesVlogs]

I studied lavender marriages for an aspect of my dissertation. I came across the life of William Haines that way and think its superb that he chose his partner over his career. I'm surprised that nobody has adapted a film about his life, given how LGBTQIA+ positive audiences are these days.

[@alisonbarker3862]

That is a great idea for a film!

[@elenapopovic2527]

Omg the set design would HAVE to be stellar

[@bw7601]

Another important thing to talk about in regard to lgbt+ acceptance in the 20s is that Weimar Germany was a world leader, with groundbreaking research into gender etc. But the nazis shut it all down and burned the archives I would recommend everyone take a look at the institute of sex research, who pioneered in offering some of the first gender confirmation surgeries. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_für_Sexualwissenschaft

[@alexandreboth1001]

Oh, german book-burning, I can't think about it without remembering fahrenheit 341 and 1984. Where would we be if they didn't...

[@DieAlteistwiederda]

@@alexandreboth1001 you imagine book burning a bit wrong it seems. For a lot of books they did burn they didn't or couldn't burn all copies of the book so definitely not everything was burned or lost.

[@NowTheDreamsWontDo]

@@DieAlteistwiederda This research was truly lost tho. And that really did set us back decades.

[@lilyavabrooks]

@@rosiebellamy3018 did you learn generally about Weimar Germany or also about their gender and sexuality research?

[@annaswanson5903]

interesting

[@frauholle1334]

That quick recognition of bisexual people actual existing is quite nice, thanks Jessica 💐

[@bartho5212]

Jessica: He was known as “The Pink Powderpuff”. Me: lucky bastard!

[@Sojichan]

Except he was so angry at the journalist who associated said thing with him that he asked for a duel against him :/

[@LokiStarOmen]

I got screamed at for bringing up LGBT facts in my history class by my teachers growing up, but then again I grew up with a very open minded family and 4 year old me didn't miss the fact one of my grandparents good friends was in a gay relationship and my schools were VERY Christian

[@mewRasuberii]

I would love more like this!! I think my grandmother's wife may have had one of these lavender marriages for similar reasons- when she ended her public career, she divorced her husband, and moved in with my grandmother and had a marriage ceremony with her later on, in the 50's-60's I think What's funny/frustrating is that my granny's wife has a wikipedia article that was written by her family's side, who describes them as "lifelong friends". Yes, just gal pal things: getting married together

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

Maybe u could edit?

[@conormulligan7966]

To edit the article you could attempt to get in contact with a wiki moderator and show them some form of proof that your grandmother was in a relationship with this woman, not sure how you could get in contact with one but im sure there is a wiki article about it

[@Magdalenasfears]

My dad was a Detroit police officer and ones of his married couple friends were a gay man and lesbian woman. They were both officers like my dad, and married because the department of course was pretty concervative. They thought it was hilarious because other officer's who didn't know they were both gay thought they had a perfect marriage and we're jealous. *Please excuse my grammer. I had covid and words don't translate from my brain to text as well anymore

[@Magdalenasfears]

@Panda Pup thank you! And thank you for excusing my horrible grammar. It probably doesn't bother other people as bad as it does me lol. It's frustrating to know what you want to say, but not being able to convey it the way you want. It's like written or even spoken words are suddenly a foreign language, one you know, but sometimes you're better at it then others. Hopefully my brain corrects itself eventually

[@MiljaHahto]

@@Magdalenasfears hey, the internet has seen much, much worse grammar these days. Yours is ok.

[@no-so3rd]

Totally relate to covid messing up communication

[@Magdalenasfears]

@@no-so3rd glad it's not just my family members, but also sad that others have to deal with this too.

[@loganmacgyver2625]

Ahh, so thats the term for the "alibi S/O" (an alibi S/O is like when i helped a closeted lesbian as a closeted gay boy to make her mother leave her alone about her love life, and she pretended to be my girlfriend to make my dad shut up about what he has no business in and to stop his suspicion about my preferences)

[@EliannaEldari24]

the word is beard

[@StephanieRamones]

I was today years old when I learned Liza Minelli was judy garlands daughter.

[@franksonatra]

WHAT me too

[@LadyNikitaShark]

"the only gay in the village" that made me laugh. I'm from a village that for some weird reason most babies born are male, only one or two girls a year and we have about 10 adult gay males that were openly gay since childhood. And comparing to other small villages we don't really have honophobes. Actually, if someone says something offensive to one of the gay guys, everyone around will defende them. Small villages can be very closed minded but we are also very protective of our own. Also, one of the gay guys it's actually a drag queen and it's our village seamstress that makes his costumes 😊

[@mangmangmangobri]

Splendid, I love it

[@laurenc5306]

That's very cute!

[@massiahgrom]

Cool village 😎

[@sammichbread]

"Gays really aren't scary! If we were, the Halloween aisle would be a lot more fabulous." JESSICA IS SUCH AN ICON THIS VIDEO IS SO GOOD

[@169esmeralda]

I came across the gravesite of Adrian and Janet Gaynor the last time I was at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. They are buried next to each other and have those flat gravestones that are flush with the ground. It made me sad because it is kind of overgrown and forgotten. I felt a very strong desire to tidy it up out of respect. This just reminded me of that. They did have a daughter, so I’m not sure why the gravesite is so grown over.

[@sonjaimmonen6610]

Yesterday I went to see the movie Tove, that is about the Moomin author Tove Jansson. There were interesting notions about marriage in the film. Tove was an unmarried artist who had relationships with men and women during her life. The discussion about marriage in the film took into account the benefits marriage could bring to her as a struggling artist. Her female lover (who was married) even suggested, that she should get married, because it would bring security and make everything easier for her.

[@ii13D]

Oh, to be an actress in the 1930s with my husband on our way to see our newly married “best friends”

[@madisonm.4535]

I didn't know that this existed. I just wasn't aware of it. This is really interesting!

[@vreaum]

me too!!

[@KarlAndArma4ever]

While I wasn't aware of celebrities being coerced into straight marriages by their upper management, I was aware of GRSM/LGBTQIA+ folks going into straight marriages to hide. Used to know an elderly lesbian who "hid" in a straight marriage to avoid persecution from the local townsfolk.

[@madisonm.4535]

@@KarlAndArma4ever Me too. I'd heard of that and I'd definitely heard of a gay man and a lesbian woman being in a relationship to hide but lavender marriages was a knew concept.

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

“‘Understandable,’ she says in lesbian.” I love the way you give so many funny comments to the second camera, Jessica! Thank you for another educational LGBTQ history lesson!

[@amazon4662]

I would love to see a history of asexuality (although I recognise that this may be a challenge as it is not necessarily as public as other identities).

[@puddytat9752]

I second this

[@GrayeIra]

I third this

[@shinekitten7669]

I would also love to see this!

[@halliehurst4847]

There’s still lots about it though! Although I feel like it would be a lot less ‘shotgun Hollywood marriages’ and a bit more ‘Well this scientific report from on sexuality 1920 Germany before the Nazi’s burned the research was baffled by them’.

[@iisazelx9340]

Not so much a history, but I’d recommend reading ACE: WHAT ASEXUALITY REVEALS ABOUT SOCIETY, DESIRE, AND THE MEANING OF SEX by Angela Chen

[@jenneli314]

11:40 one could guess that "two years" was a contractual thing from the studio, don't you think?

[@greatauntlizbethg9137]

Some else inthe comments said that it was

[@HeyItsAJOmega]

Had a crappy day of depression, just made myself something to eat and sat down and this has popped up in my sub box

[@aksez2u]

Hope you have a better day tomorrow!

[@HRMLadyArtemis14]

Honestly, the more I hear about these, the more they remind me of the Dynastic marriages organized between countries to assure allies. I'd love to see more of this content!

[@wmage619]

Thank you I finally have a term for my great uncles marriage I loved him so much but he was always shunned from the family. I never understood why until I was much older and he had passed away. I asked my great aunt why they never truly got a divorce and he even wrote her out of his will (it was a mess) and she told me to go visit a man by the nickname of Hobson. Needless to say I was welcomed with open arms he was alone in the retirement home he showed me many pictures of their time together. I visited him every weekend until he passed. I know they are together now

[@southwest4598]

This is so, so, so lovely. How wonderful that you got another perspective and got to know his beloved, and Hobson had someone to share his final days with.

[@mangmangmangobri]

[@j.munday7913]

Omg, that made me tear up a little. How beautiful you had that time with your uncles partner.

[@missAyla39]

On the "which letter to talk about from the LGBTQ+" I think talking about asexuals and aromantics could be interesting. I know it can sometimes be hard to have sources but I think it would be good. On another note, I would love to hear about other cultures view of queerness and sexual orientations. We speak a lot about how europeans and north americans influenced the society of this but from bits I gather, it wasn't as definite in other cultures around the world.

[@dollfacedotcult]

not lgbt+ but still valid and a very interesting topic! would love to hear about that.

[@dollfacedotcult]

especially since some people literally don't care at all and some people get SO mad that you're not boning, as if it's their business in the first place lmfao

[@missAyla39]

@@dollfacedotcult It's in the + and in the LGBTQIA+ it's the A

[@dollfacedotcult]

@Lady Chimere well. it's not. but that doesn't make it any less valid!

[@juliarose3826]

ooo yes to both those ideas!

[@c.j.cranford269]

I'd never heard of lavender marriages, though they were encouraged in the religion I grew up in :/ Happy to be out (of the closet) and out (of that church!), and I'd love more of these videos!

[@erictaylor5462]

I clearly remember the media reports of Rock Hudson's sexuality when he came out and passed away. It was one of the first big Hollywood AIDES casualties. There was so much shock and anger. It was really quite disgusting, even to me at 15.

[@seekingeudaimonia6884]

I was today years old when I learned of a, lavender marriage. I guess it’s true to the name, lavender, a soothing marriage, without any worry about sex with the opposite sex or being hit on from the opposite sex.

[@Co-iu6nq]

I didn’t know the term or even that it was an “established” thing but when I was young I did think about what I would do if I was born in a different era and how I would survive and I pretty much came up with a Lavender marriage plan situation. This was so nice to learn about and I’m so glad you are teaching us these things. I truly didn’t know a lot of what you taught but most especially when you mentioned “ we tend to think of history as even more homophobic than today” and continued to explain that in the 20s there was actually a lot of acceptance. I had no idea and that was lovely to learn

[@paolazuffinetti]

Thank You! You're right: I have come to realize that things that are not taught in schools are the most important for us to know!

[@ava_lavender]

I would recommend the book, "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo" by Taylor Jenkins Reid, to anyone who enjoyed this video!

[@asophcalledskye]

Same! What a great book

[@tobyameson3159]

As a queer person I can't tell you how much it means to me to see gay history. Thanks Jessica!

[@Piti_Pingu]

Luckily I'm not the only LGBTQ+ person in my village. We have a lesbian couple (they are in their 40's and adorable) we had a gay mayor (he isn't mayor anymore but still lives here with his partner and his dogs that are all named after french historic figures (he used to be a history teacher until it was forbidden for him because he was gay and thought he might "infect" the kids). A lovely lesbian who was my classmate for 12 years and me a proud pan sexual even though enveryone thinks it was just a phase because I'm with a man now... sorry neighbors I'm still pan even if you don't think so XD I was even told I was the most scandalous lesbian ever as a teenager because everytime I brought a girl home it was a diffrent one... they were litterally just all my friends 🤣

[@j.munday7913]

My boyfriend is pan and you have no idea how relieved his neighbors looked when he showed up with a woman. XD I'm like.... he's still pan and you aren't that safe cause I'm bi. :) Neighbors worry about the silliest things! Keep hanging in there, hopefully the world realizes once again that sexuality is nothing to be worried or scared by.

[@InThisEssayIWill...]

I had definitely heard the term 'beard' before in this context, but didn't realize that was meant to indicate unawareness. And had not heard 'lavender marriage' before! While I had been peripherally aware that lgbtq+ individuals might occasionally take up a heteronormative relationship for societal reasons I had no idea that it would have been a contractual obligation in the entertainment industry! This is.. awful. I really appreciate your videos and enjoy learning about this sort of 'hidden history', I may not be part of the community but it is still human history and important to understand all facets in order to have the full picture.

[@samit2658]

The "beard" wasn't unaware. Lavender Marriage refers/ed to 1 or both members being glabt+ *and both being aware* if there was a cis-allo-het partner they were a "beard"

[@007nadineL]

@@samit2658 loads of beards were / are unaware.

[@anymouse8221]

I was familiar with the term "lavender marraige," but I don't know enough hollywood history to be aware of most of these. This was a fun video. Thank you!

[@Lucy-io7pt]

The term "lavender marriage" sounds so nice. And then you're like eek not so nice not so nice.

[@michelehenne2477]

I enjoyed this episode. Ratched, the series on Netflix, touches on this. One of the characters is in a lavender marriage. Keep them coming. A full series would be great! 💜💜💜

[@kisskiss6866]

"The good, the bad and the fabulous" will be my new motto for sure!! 😅 ❤️

[@makingmesses6538]

I'm new to the term Lavender Marriage but I had a theater teacher in college who told us about the women he married to keep up the straight appearance and how deeply unhappy it made both of them.

[@YallAintRight]

My roommate was in the military before don’t ask don’t tell. She was gay and knew of two people in a lavender marriage (also members of the military). They got paid more and faced less harassment. They lived together in a trailer with bedrooms at each end.

[@ludmila_98]

The way you can always make education so much fun and interesting regardless of my brain fog and cognitive difficulties is just the best! Thank you for helping us understand more about ourselves and others! PS I hope you find a new carer and you two get along really well ❤️❤️❤️

[@caitis1091]

I just wanted to take this chance to say thank you Jessica xxx. I have epilepsy and was suffering very badly from medication side-effects when I saw your video about ketogenic diet therapy. I hadn't heard of it before then. I immediately brought it up with my neurologist and have been on it since and no longer suffer from debilitating side-effects. Thanks to you my life is now livable xxx

[@RevRun14]

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! This is great! It won't be cool to have a video going over the ups and downs of LGBT+ acceptance from antiquity to modern days. It's shocking to see how acceptance/rejection has changed over time and where it started/stopped. About Lavender Marriages, I have heard of them before through not by that term. It's still done today in any field of work that involves going to other countries. As long as there isn't acceptance, Lavender Marriages will be a useful tool to stay safe.

[@NessawiththeRose]

I went to a conservative christian college in New York City on the lookout for a counterpart gay man to enter one of these marriages with! Thankfully i ended up meeting the lady love of my life after some painful outings. All's well that ends well thank goodness

[@jahalr6598]

Its videos like this that makes me so happy that jessica graduated in media studies.

[@jahalr6598]

As with all communities, celebrating our histories is very important especially so being marginalized communities. Cheers to jessica for introducing me to historical personalities that I can relate to and make me more empowered in my own identity and community.

[@GutterBallEZ]

I love this idea for a series so much. I was raised in a ludicrously conservative small town, and I’m still unlearning the history lies we were told in school.

[@maddblack6383]

"Nobody wants to be the only gay in the village" Me, the only gay in the village: "Yup"

[@brendab3204]

Well my mother who was born in 1928 had talked to me as a child about many of the old movie stars and how they had to hide their gay and lesbian relationships. She was not a Hollywood star herself,by any means but after finding the love of her life, becoming pregnant out of wedlock, being forced to give up that child for adoption by her parents and the young mans wealthy parents. And the two of them told they were never going to be allowed to be together, my mother married her first husband. He was gay, this was back in the late 1940s-early 1950s. I think they were just trying to help each other. But his father expected to continue to hide the fact his son was gay, this by impregnating my mother....😡 Thankfully my mom had grown strong enough by then to say no and ended up divorced. Hopefully the world continues to get better, allow people to love who they love. Why on earth should any of us feel threatened by two people who love each other? 🌈❤️

[@Mira-pm3ni]

Darling there is nothing wrong in love but the way things have gone out of control in west is not love . It's disgusting .

[@lingeringquestions519]

Your outfit, hair, and overall look makes this so much better. It's like you time-traveled to teach us. I'm straight and cisgender and I feel bad for all the gay,bi,pan, and other people who found and find it hard to bein the marriage they want or if they are married to an opposite-sex/gender person that they love they find it hard to be out.

[@boredgrass]

I was so distracted by your gorgeous acting I that had to scroll back time and again :-) The project is wonderfull! Especially in the context of the issue of lacking transfer of history through parent children relation! I have never thought of it! Magnificent work!

[@halliehurst4847]

Is this a good time to recommend The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo to everyone? Best fictionalisation of this period I’ve come across recently. Elusive Golden Age movie star, Evelyn Hugo, gives a rare interview in her later life about her many love affairs...

[@stoodmuffinpersonal3144]

I knew this happened, and I knew what a Beard was. But I didn't know this term, or why lavender was so associated with us. It's funny cause I grew up liking lavender. Even in the closet

[@emmagrace289]

The fact that most of these people were actors and still couldn’t pretend to be straight at their weddings 😂 relatable

[@pyratenemo3617]

This was *fascinating*. I've only ever come across lavender marriages in passing, and though I know logically that of course people marry for safety, I'm also incredibly bi, so I've always read "did you know x was actually gay!?" with caution bc bi erasure is the most incredibly frustrating thing and I avoid participating in it like the plague. It's super interesting to learn about them from someone who has clearly done more than passing research!

[@alisonbarker3862]

Interesting points!

[@Jess-vz8bb]

I like that’s it’s lavender... very purple yet associated with queer yet calming and acceptable as holistically healing yet fda not approved... BRAVO

[@catknit7]

If this does become a series, I’d love to see a video on Boston marriages! I’ve been fascinated by them since I first learned about them

[@Aurriel]

Just love your attitude so much! The comments to the side camera are killing me!

[@alexandertimms0.166]

I love learning gay history it's like the school education I never got but always needed

[@guytorie]

8:34 Yay, a bi icon! 9:04 Aw man, a non-iconic bi after all

[@bethrohman9612]

So...I'm pretty straight 😉 but I LOVE the "queer history" episodes so much! I love everything on your channel but you are an amazing story teller and I have learned so much! Thank you! 🥰😘😘😘

[@angelagallant5887]

I remember reading a story that Richard Chamberlain told about a “media” romance he had in the 1970’s. An interviewer had come to his house for an article with him and his “girlfriend” .... their cover was blown when she asked where the bathroom was. 😂

[@007nadineL]

Hello Hugh Jackman who married his much older acting teacher

[@GiftSparks]

I have also heard the term “white marriage” used for a marriage in which the couples never had sex. I’ve heard this term used to describe the marriage of Alfred Lunt and Lynne Fontaine.

[@LivforWill]

Love this and love the idea of a series! Yes please Jessica. I’d love to hear more about GNC / trans / non-binary history - particularly how it was stamped out by colonialism etc. Thank you for making this content and educating across platforms!! You are great

[@alaynab5745]

I love your history videos! I knew about lavender marriages because I'd heard about them in reference to Cole Porter and his wife Linda. Also this ad comes at a great time for me as my credit card was compromised online on Wednesday! Thank you!

[@brittneybrisbin744]

Okay, I just started the video, but I wanna say that I already really love your energy and the sound of your voice! I'm super excited to learn about queer history! Also, I'm glad you mentioned William Haines, because I admire the courage he had and his love for Jimmie so much.

[@aprildawnsunshine4326]

I had not heard of the term but I knew about the practice in Hollywood a bit. I'd LOVE more videos on gay history! It's a subject I struggle to find good quality videos (w/captions) on in general.

[@jessicahoward9046]

No one Absolutely no one No one on the entire planet *Me giggling to myself watching this video* "If Jessica and Claudia released a line of equestrian clothes they could call it "Because, neigh" I'll see myself out

[@jiawongwrites]

I cant believe I never knew until now that Liza Minelli was Judy Garlands daughter??? Side note though- I find it deeply ironic that LGBT people were pressured/forced into sham marriages for "morality" when a loveless relationship defeats the very purpose of marriage to begin with. but as long as it looks the part, people would choose to look the other way. Wtf!

[@laurenc5306]

🤣🤣 but now that you've found out, it makes sense, doesn't it? Liza and Judy are so alike. People who harp on about "the sanctity of marriage" either don't know or don't care that the "sanctity" in marriage was ruined long ago. How many Christians have had affairs? How many atheists have gotten married? How many people were stuck in loveless or abusive marriages but didn't separate because divorce was frowned upon? How many straight people nowadays care if their relationship is pious and ""sinless""? "Sanctity of marriage" means nothing.

[@cheepink683]

I just read The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo. Very similar themes. Worthwhile reading!! Strongly recommend

[@magdaherman5033]

I would love to hear more about the lavendel cowboys of San Francisco.

[@catalinabarroilhet4058]

This feels like a series perfect for a podcast...

[@butadara]

All the gay history! We as humans have always been gay, and when people still get upset about it, I just don't get it. Oh well, their loss in there unhappy marriages, with no real discussion about sexual health, let alone pleasure. ❤️

[@Mira-pm3ni]

Do all gay couples end up happily ever after ? They never cheat ?

[@ZeNatoto]

Something fabulous you could talk about was the art drag scene with Divine or maybe the Club Kids scene? Those would be awesome!

[@AmyLou733]

I've always presumed that the marriage between Elsa Lanchester and Charles Laughton was of the lavender variety.

[@bloodcottoncandy]

Lavender marriages are still popular in more conservative countries with strict religions. Their stories are pretty juicy.

[@Cyliable]

Thank you for another discovery! History is filled with LGBTQI+ people but society made them invisible to the common eyes. I didn't know of the word lavender marriage but I knew it existed somehow. It makes sense when you know LGBTQI+ people have always been there, but most societies didn't accept it or modern ones erased records of acceptance times (pretending it didn't exist is a way of erasing). Oh and thanks again for the bisexual validation! I'm considering buying one of your merch soon it's just so cute 🥰

[@pandoravex4791]

I knew a bit of the forced marriages, didn’t know there was a specific term for it. Interesting.

[@autumn7809]

I would love some stuff on bi history ! Bi specific identity and history is murky and often covered up by both sides, but you're a great researcher and presenter :)

[@typicallyusual6984]

Judy Garland had an extremely traumatic life, including but not limited to: being called a pig with braids during the filming of The Wizard of Oz, abused by her coworkers during the Wizard of Oz, constantly compared to sex symbols of her time like Elizabeth Taylor and told she was too ugly, being monitored to ensure she was dieting properly, given cigarettes by her mother to stave off her appetite, given stimulants as weight loss pills, then sleeping pills when the stimulants caused her insomnia. She was basically forced into substance abuse and addiction, which heavily impacted her mental health for the rest of her life, which eventually caused her death. It is slightly comforting to know that at least she found some solace in her married life.

[@bookluver627]

Watching this video makes certain events in The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo even more believable.

[@evelynkrull5268]

Interesting! I had a no clue about lavender marriages, but my local university's lqbtq+ community has a special ceremony/party called lavendar graduation! It has been voted top lgbtq+University for 8 years running (i dont know if it is a state thing or a national thing, but i feel like it was a national survey that determined it?) We even hold our pride parade in this town not in June, but in October, on the weekend nearest coming out day. That way all our lgbtq+ students can participate when they are in town at school.

[@evelynkrull5268]

If anyone is wondering its Southern Oregon University, its part of the WUE program and its big in Education/Teaching, Theatre, and Nursing (in conjunction with the nationally ranked Oregon Health and Sciences University) It also has a decent disability services center and I would say, pretty accessible except it is on a hillside (might be difficult to wheel manually) but building wise has elevators in every building. I didnt finish my degree because my health declined and I had to choose between working (to eat and live and stuff) and education. Nothing they could have done to help with that.

[@quinn1222]

When youre a closeted celebrity, handling your reputation must be delicate. That would honestly have me seeing red to hide my lover

[@IPONJ]

Don't be silly Quinn! There's no such thing as a gay celebrity! o_0 What?... 0_o

[@007nadineL]

Dolly parton is a master of that

[@anniehawkins6195]

Thank you, Jessica, for helping me through a horrible time in my life. I’m an American, who recently lost my mom during this pandemic (died of cancer, unrelated to the pandemic - but it made her hospice experience much more complicated). Your positivity is inspired and inspiring (not because your disabled, just cause 2020 is complicated) . Thank you for all you do and are doing. Keep it up!

[@Mae_______]

You’re amazing darling 💚 thank you for educating me and everyone else that watched this🙏

[@Alusnovalotus]

I just discovered you and loved you from the first syllable!!

[@ryanelmore7800]

I LOVE the story of Billie Haines, and I wish more people knew about him and his story. The fact that he told Louis B. Mayer that he would give up Jimmy if Mayer gave up his wife is not only ballsy, but beautiful. Billie knew that life, fame, and fortune meant nothing if the one you love isn't with you. ❤️❤️❤️

[@nataliaeyolfson8567]

Everyone should be able to live as their true selves without judgment from others.

[@avam1877]

Could you do a video on Alan Turing? He was a gay and disabled man who basically invented the computer. Love the new series btw!

[@riyapatel6291]

Hell yes this is a good idea .