The Worst Poet in History | Tales From the Bottle

[@Qxir]

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[@formality_26]

no

[@m1l22]

yes please I absolutely LOVE your content and would like to follow you on more platforms

[@the_black_moon_howls]

Give me your bones

[@michaelrushsr2535]

I have missed you sir!!

[@aaronstanley6914]

Ah thank you good sir needed a new video. Milked the back log for all it was worth.

[@FriedrichHerschel]

An Irishman, living in Scotland, writing poetry against alcohol? Now I've seen it all.

[@Swim_Jonse]

That was some kind of haiku type thing.

[@durere]

@@Swim_Jonse when unintentional sarcastic poetry about you is better than your serious efforts.

[@darkjanggo]

you lost me at an irishman writing

[@Jimbo-198]

​@@darkjanggo I think it's absurd to say that Irishmen can write. I'm Irish, and I've tried so hard, but it's just not possible for me to be literate.

[@sitdowntwice]

​@@Jimbo-198 tis tuff werk pal, no craic hai

[@WretchedIcon]

His story serves as an important reminder: if you're going to do anything in life, do it good, or spectacularly bad. The mediocre are what get lost to time.

[@JTA1961]

Athefumen ✅ ✅ ✅

[@rubberneckinc.8937]

Well said

[@pyro-millie5533]

Yesssss

[@liverpool0690]

The island boiz live by this

[@agranero6]

You are right, how many bad poets have a Wikipedia article? His stubbornness paid the price for immortality.

[@shmackydoodRon]

We talked about him in college when the question arose as to whether poetry could be objectively good or bad.

[@serioushex3893]

normally i'd say no. It's all subjective. what's beautiful to one person could be terrible to someone else. This guy though...these are pretty objectively terrible. its like poetry written by a reasonably smart....1st grader.

[@efdbjon2114]

@@serioushex3893 the fact this video exists is good proof that he couldnt have been objectively bad

[@jlopez4889]

@@serioushex3893 I think there should be a word different from subjective and objective. Like I could enjoy a certain song but recognize that it isn't that good. Or I could dislike a song but recognize the talent behind it.

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

Personally, my answer has always been "yes". And I've majored in English language and literature twice... (alongside other majors. It makes sense if you see the difference in the courses.)

[@Sxcheschka]

​@@jlopez4889Unironically good and ironically good.

[@aprilflynn]

As a fellow shitty poet, I find this very inspiring. Here was a man who clearly felt a calling, and he didn't let any mere lack of talent get in the way of that.

[@SomePeopleCallMeWulfman]

Ditto. I'd never have the guts to perform in public. Let alone a circus.

[@graham2088]

Shitty one myself, I don't think it's too bad tbh haha

[@jackelewish1568]

I'm a shifty poet/song writer as well and I genuinely dont care if I'm good or not. I do it as a form of self expression and self discipline. No matter how bad I am I know for certain I'm getting better year and year and I'll never stop. It's many times I want to give up but I simply will not. End of story.

[@peregrinecovington4138]

He was born rich

[@aprilflynn]

@@peregrinecovington4138 Nah, his father was a weaver. He was a plebe.

[@JWQweqOPDH]

As an engineering student (with high functioning autism) who hates language arts classes, his poems sound like something I'd proudly turn in for an assignment.

[@kwastek]

This!

[@666mrdoctor]

Do it as a funny introduction!

[@Deadhousep1ants]

As a creative writing student, it sounds like the shit I turn in after forgetting about an assignment & having to write it last minute

[@wieldylattice3015]

As someone who loves literature, *same*

[@ct6502c]

Of course...apparently *everyone* born after 1990 has "high functioning autism" now.

[@jadegecko]

A lot of my enjoyment comes from the fact that he seems to feel the need to shoehorn technical details into the poem "A bridge collapsed and it was very sad. Many lives were lost. Anyway, let me explain how buttresses would've helped the structure"

[@derdomino828]

Yes, exactly. To me, the first poem sounds Like an "I told you so" from an architect or engineer.

[@oatmeal3013]

i almost feel like that's what can tip us off as evidence to him having autism. it's a trait i and many others share, with wanting to be overtly technical in specific aspects.

[@WinterGamesYT]

@@oatmeal3013 i mean it does seem like something an autistic person would say

[@JustWowNick]

It’s like patronizing someone by saying “See, the point of the joke is…” but trying to be somber and serious.

[@bawsack69]

Gay archers!!!! Lol.

[@JamesFromTexas]

"He who laughs at himself never loses anything to laugh at," may have been what he was going for. I really hope he just leaned into his silliness and lived a happy life.

[@pyro-millie5533]

Same here.

[@jonslg240]

He thought he was good, he realized people thought he was awful.. so he kept doing what others thought were awful, kept saying he was the best, and kept criticizing his critics.. He needs to run for president because that's been what all the presidents have done for the past 30 years or more. lol

[@machematix]

The favourite poem I've ever written is a long winded fart joke.

[@StudioUAC]

I love his tenacity! He didn't care what others thought of his work. He kept doing what he loved, despite the criticism!

[@Qxir]

At the end of the day, that's what it's all about!

[@bruk5827]

​@@QxirI mean, it made him famous

[@KaiserDragun]

No

[@Inexpressable]

@@KaiserDragun do better than writing just 'no'. comments like that are so annoying

[@christiangibson1867]

​@@InexpressableYes

[@danielx555]

He is one of the most important writers in human history. Once, I sat in a library in Scotland and read one of his books and laughed and laughed and laughed. His style is so consistent. Most of us could predict what his next line will be. Even when he makes those weird lurches into "we'll die less when we build our houses good" it's not even surprising because you get used to him just being obtuse.

[@Conqueringrule]

I was really hoping this video was going to be about Zhang Zongchang, but those were pretty entertaining too. He was a Chinese Warlord who wrote completely awful poetry (or was potentially framed by his rival warlord with fake poetry, which I think would be just as good). My favorite poem of his is this: "Tour Taishan" From a distance, Taishan is dark, with thinner heads and thicker heads. If you turn Mount Tai upside down, the lower head is thinner and the upper head is thicker. That described his thoughts upon seeing the mountain Taishan, where he came to the epiphany that if the mountain was upside down then the bottom of the mountain would be thicker than the top. Truly inspiring stuff

[@quintrankid8045]

And yet he never contemplated turning the mountain on its side?

[@Zodroo_Tint]

I'm not a mountain expert and this is youtube so you probably only listen to me in every mountain related question if I'm a mountain expert but let me say as a laic I think Mr. Zhang was perfectly right. If we would turn the mountain upside down the bottom of the mountain would be thicker than the top, at least theoretically until we can prove it in a lab experiment.

[@Zodroo_Tint]

@@quintrankid8045 That is just sounds like craziness. I'm not supporting it at all.

[@WeirdWonderful]

I mean he wasn't wrong 😂

[@Fort976]

And yet, the irony is that I'm sure there were many actual good poets at the time who are totally forgotten now, while this dude is still remembered

[@draglorr5578]

Being hilariously spectacularly bad must have just cemented him in people's minds I guess Being so very bad really helped him out in the end, because he still end up being remembered.

[@beaneater6923]

the measure of good to bad is not a line. there are no endpoints. it is a circle, and he has gone a full rotation

[@9brink]

​@@draglorr5578no shit

[@quintrankid8045]

It's like he's the Ed Wood of poetry.

[@mrdanforth3744]

In those days every town and village had its poet, all of them bad. You see their effusions in old newspapers. In other words, the competition for worst poet was something fierce.

[@compatriot852]

If you can't be the best, there's always the option to be the worst and I commend that.

[@pyro-millie5533]

Character corruption arc for the win?

[@TheGrinningViking]

If only more people thought like you, I'd be a world renowned lover and gardener 😅

[@KendlickLama]

I had to interpret the poem about the train-bridge disaster in school… I remember everyone thought it was odd, my teacher must have been trolling or lost a bet but nobody dared to question it

[@stevem.o.1185]

To paraphrase Alan Moore (writer of Watchmen, V for Vendetta, etc.): "There is nothing more inspirational than bad art. Great art can move you to tears, but only bad art can move you off your ass and say, 'well, even I could fucking do that.'"

[@worldcomicsreview354]

​@@stevem.o.1185Viz was started because they made a cartoon for a punk fanzine, and the rest of the zine was so crap they thought they ought to just make the whole thIng themselves.

[@jonhelmer8591]

@@stevem.o.1185 Thanks for that!

[@JMUDoc]

"Which meter did McGonagall use?" "No."

[@jessehammer123]

All of them. At once.

[@oscaranderson5719]

my favorite part was when the poem lurched like a drunk on a highway

[@KasumiRINA]

Imperial. His meter is like using the imperial system, nothing makes sense or easily converts to each other. Hence, instead of meter, he had an imperial.

[@leoribic1691]

My favorite thing about his poems is that he uses words like "Silv'ry," "fill'd," "o'er," and "T'was" even though there is no meter to warrant the need. He literally just thought: "Oh, all the good poets use words like that, so if I shove them in a poem, that'll make it good!1!1!1!" That and he assumed a good poem only had to have the words at the ends of line rhyme, but still didn't anticipate that he needed to do more than use the same words and rhymes over and over again in one poem (looking at you, Tay Bridge Disaster)

[@PurpleAmharicCoffee]

The millimeter, the centimeter, and the parking meter.

[@wieldylattice3015]

3:00 honestly if this is the poem someone wrote about the tragic accident I died in, I would love it a lot more than a sincere poem. None of that “woe are the victims” sentimental nonsense. Gets straight to the point, talks about the root cause of accident, and presents it in a way that is both memorable and humorous

[@AlFredo-sx2yy]

Exactly. As others have already pointed out, his poetry sounds more like an "I told you so" snarky remark. People made fun of him, but he was still right.

[@MNNski]

The most amazing thing about McGonagall is that he was good enough of a poet to be remembered as the worst poet in history.

[@KP-fy5bf]

Exactly

[@johndoef5962]

BUT, you've heard of me.

[@NearlyH3adlessNick]

The best poet in history changes over time, but his title? That's one that sticks.

[@jonhelmer8591]

Thank you, now I don't have to bother with a comment.

[@aidanfarnan4683]

To be fair, Qxir, your line delivery makes these poems pretty f*cking awsome in how funny they are.

[@JTA1961]

Well said

[@electrogestapo]

He must have been a bard or some other medieval entertainer in a previous life.

[@voiceofraisin3778]

@@electrogestapo No, the Landlord definitely said barred!

[@Saltience]

McGonagoll’s poetry may be no good Surface level observations, nothing under the hood. Target practice for all those in town His rhymes gave him money, but not much renown But while his works may have been a miss He lived a good life, ignorance is bliss. thank you for reading my mcgonagall level poetry

[@lorindawoerner4452]

Clever

[@Pseudonyymi568]

To call him terrible, I refuse! For many souls did he amuse Least there is a rhyme, no surprise He was a troll, I surmise To read in theaters, is no joke In rotten vegetables, he could choke! Were he born with what we have today He could be a rapper, I dare say William McGonagall, I raise my hat! And with these words, let's leave it at that

[@obsidian573]

​@@Pseudonyymi568beautiful

[@bubblehead9548]

fuckin', like, yours is actually better? Like you have a meter in there and you don't repeat your rhymes

[@lolzmanxd3368]

There was a man named McGonagoll His poems were viewed as abominable, But in his own mind One would easily find His spirit was simply indomitable

[@stueyphone]

If he managed one thing in his life, is that he left a legacy. We are still here in the present talking about this man and his work. TRULY, remarkable.

[@irresistablejewel]

Another legacy: it's in celebration of his birthday, the "McGonagall dinner"... served backwards... with poetry. Like, "On that hill there stood a cow; it's not there now; must've shifted".

[@Blablarrr]

I really enjoy his use of "killed dead"

[@522op41]

You wanna specify

[@hrehbebdbnwuc]

​@@522op41 watch the video

[@balijosu]

I appreciate his clarity. There can be ambiguity between those killed dead and those killed unconscious.

[@GalootWrangler]

“Raid kills bugs dead,” So the advertising said; Killed all dead before their time, Now immortalized in rhyme.

[@jesusojeda7850]

He realized not only fame but infamy was a valid source of income. Today he would be a youtuber, no doubt.

[@derekeastman7771]

More like a Kardashian, probably.

[@BlueWingedRino]

@@derekeastman7771 I think more like a King Cobra JFS

[@Leofwine]

He died in 1902, so he could have gone and recited his poetry on Edison phonograph wax cylinders.

[@ferretyluv]

Nah, he’d be a TikToker.

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

He totally would have been a KZbinr. He's practically history's first Lol-Cow. Like he's the Boogie2988 of 1800s Scotland. But I love him. McGonagall is a historical figure that I can't help but love, despite the fact his poetry is somehow worse than mine is.

[@benb9151]

It's like he was counting syllables and remembered he had to rhyme with something, so he thought of a word eventually and was like "well that's halfway right, on to the next line."

[@Qxir]

I'm not so sure he was counting syllables 😂

[@imjustjk]

Maybe his counting skills were on par with his poetic talent

[@collinmclaren6608]

Hearing his poems, his work almost sounds like something you'd read in a modern children's book.

[@asparagusoffice]

dr seuss ripped off my boy

[@sunstripe85]

When i started this video i had some doubts about whether poetry or any art could be "objectively" the worst, because art is so subjective. I wondered if that was maybe slightly clickbait. Then you recited the first poem and i was flabbergasted. Turns out indeed it IS possible. Your recitations were gold, especially the very last one with the voices 😂

[@MichaelTurner856]

Art is subjective but there can be standards. I genuinely believe he could've gotten better if he actually studied to understand and improve his technique but he seemed complacent in his skill level and didn't. Good for him though art is beautiful

[@reverberation_9]

- You are without a doubt the worst poet I've heard about of - But you have heard of me

[@0Onyx13]

I mean, he did manage to bring awareness to domestic violence induced by alcohol all the way back then, but reciting poetry anti-drinking in SCOTLAND... in SCOTTISH PUBS... might as well go to a brothel and read out the bible parts about lust lmao

[@alexmcvey1609]

Surprised he wasn't malkied tbh 😂

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

Prohibitonists are very old and had much the same complaints that we have today. Made men waste money, beat their wives, and ignore their children. It was just generally women who were the prohibitionists because they were the victims of these ills

[@notoriousgoblin83]

I think the brothel would be safer, they might be into that

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

@@notoriousgoblin83 prostitutes would definitely have a better sense of humor than alcoholics

[@notoriousgoblin83]

@@skeetsmcgrew3282 depends on the alcoholic

[@aaronbasham6554]

You can't convince me that the last poem is one of the most brilliant pieces of antihumor ever divised in human history

[@mrosskne]

You're right, I can't convince you of that, because it isn't true. Next time try proofreading your comment so it actually says what you think it does.

[@mythirduniquehandle]

It's a poetry video so, it's spelled devised. I had to.

[@leonardonetagamer]

​@@mrossknebro broke his funny bone

[@joeswarson4580]

​@@mrossknedo you wake up and choose to act like a self-righteous dickweed, or does it come naturally to you?

[@alexanderdesmouceaux4395]

Something in his poetry could be turn in to children's books

[@jhoughjr1]

Yeah I kinda liked it

[@fallacy08_shrine]

"And the wind it blew with all its might" has mad The Big Bad Wolf vibes

[@ScottLovenberg]

Well, he's not going to use any words that require a service syllable, so there's no fear of the technical prowess of his pen game to be challenging to those who have achieved a service grade level or reading, comprehension and history, so I it could be considered "fun reading" if not for the fact that it might create a youth populace that everyone just wanted to slap every time they talk. Could have been a list generation if he became their Dr. Seuss.

[@TheCheffer76]

Absolutely it has the cadence of children’s rhymes. He missed his calling.

[@mousermind]

*turned into

[@Bobbin4Brownies]

Reminds me of Dr Seuss without the self awareness or intentional silliness. This is gold.

[@cybernetic_crocodile8462]

>Barges into tavern >Reads his mediocre poetry >Gets laughed at by people >Ignores it and believes himself as good poet >Refuses to elaborate and aknowledge the haters >Leaves to continue living in blissful ignorance What a chad he was...

[@kayEnt3rtainm3nt]

The epitome of: "and then everybody clapped".

[@skinwalker69420]

​@@kayEnt3rtainm3nthow? Are you braindead?

[@acrothdragon]

You’ve have say even after 120 years he’s still remembered and even taught in college and literature schools this day of what not to do. That might not be what he was struggling for but it’s better than what others who was better and more successful would of been less remembered.

[@mrosskne]

Would have.

[@btarg1]

Even after seeing the title I didn't expect for the poem about the bridge to be *THAT* bad

[@thetimelapseguy8]

"Had they been supported on each side by buttresses" was a good line

[@baseddoggie]

@@thetimelapseguy8 heh heh. butts

[@spell-bloom]

"Then King Edward ordered his horsemen to charge Thirty-thousand in number, it was very large" Pack it up Shakespeare, we got a new poet on our hands

[@A_Ducky]

"Kill them dead" Turd part got me laughing out loud.

[@raskolnikov7049]

Credit where credit is due, that was a pretty fire line

[@mollysministuff]

The amount of times he said variations of "killed dead"

[@3st3st77]

The best part about that poem was how he started off by saying that the Scottish army was very small with only 30,000 men but the English army on the other hand was very large with 30,000 men.

[@WeirdWonderful]

​​@@3st3st77Proofreading is for the unlyrical masses

[@Road_Rash]

The fact that people are still reading & discussing his poetry to this day, should make him one of the greatest poets ever...he was remembered...

[@ratto9508]

As the poems continue, I find myself saying "NO PLEASE STOP" out loud. It just GOES ON AND ON.

[@Donyourmom]

It sounds like something Chris Chan would scribbled down. I cried out of laughter.

[@WeirdWonderful]

I find your lack of taste saddening. Surely one cannot but love a man who upon hearing about a railway disaster goes on to rhythmically berate the structural integrity of the bridge in question 😂

[@WeirdWonderful]

​@@DonyourmomI mean even bad poetry still requires the ability to rhyme. Chris Chan thinks he owns a mashup of two copyrighted characters and his idea of a song cover is to bleat his words over copyrighted music playing in the background

[@JohnSmith-ef2rn]

An Irishman did, once upon a time Took to using verses and rhyme Those with ears took it to be a crime And he was left without a dime

[@deaconblooze1]

Sublime.

[@mepoindexter]

I've been waiting for someone to give this guy the credit he deserves. Kudos Qxir!

[@theguywhoasked3340]

tbh he has better rhymes than some rappers today

[@andreaseverin1346]

"I can make orange rhyme with banana, Bornana" Masterpiece of a bar by recent Eminem

[@mousermind]

@@andreaseverin1346 It's called humor. He's historically rhymed quite a few words with orange: kzbin.info/www/bejne/ooHGg2iIi717g8ksi=LDmqQ-jWXmby_eXO

[@mousermind]

Most rappers, and nearly all modern "poets". 🤢

[@genderfluids6448]

@@mousermind yeah people saying he's bad haven't read some modern poets. Too bad he's born too early

[@absinthephrenz]

which Modern Poets write such doggerel?@@mousermind

[@alex_thecarguy]

The end of every verse is like if you asked an 8 year old "what rhymes with ___?" And wrote down the first word they said.

[@oatman3526]

If you go to the new Tay rail bridge in Dundee you can find his poem “The Silvery Tay” written into the ground around the arches.

[@ninjalectualx]

Hahhaahhaha why though

[@skinwalker69420]

​@@ninjalectualxbecause the poem sucks ass? That's legitimately why.

[@Spacesatyr6565]

As soon as I saw the title, I knew who it was, because my mom is always quoting this; ‘On yonder hill, there stood a cow. It’s not there now. It musta shif’ted.’ (His best poem, in my opinion)

[@rtyuik7]

id agree that its one of his best, purely on how Short it is :-P

[@Chipswitch22]

​@@rtyuik7it's also true-to-life. Cows do shift

[@quintrankid8045]

Where did the cow go?

[@Gabu_]

That's actual literary genius, intended or not. A true observation of the mundane in a world of fantasy and grandiose prose.

[@relwaretep]

I very rarely disagree with you Qxir, but this bloke is the greatest poet ever - he'll never be forgotten. This is what makes great art.

[@Qxir]

Entertaining will always be better than boring, good or bad

[@toomanymarys7355]

Then great humanitarians kill lots of people.

[@neilreynolds3858]

As a room mate of mine used to say, bad taste is timeless.

[@kittymervine6115]

can you please offer a recording of your reading of these poems?? Because your accent and inability to keep from laughing, just adds to the wonder and glory of these poems!

[@dekumarademosater2762]

YEAH! ASMR, FOR BONUS PTS

[@gownerjones]

This video showed me how little I understand about poetry because I thought his poems weren't bad at all lol

[@MatthewBester]

Your channel is so wild. Came for last moments, stayed for this crazy stuff.

[@mkjirak]

I wrote intentionally bad poetry like this in high school to amuse my friends. Two I recall was an ode to a spilled Mountain Dew and a villanelle categorizing all the crap I had in my locker. But at least I was in on the joke and had a better sense of meter than this guy. Poor chap, at least he tried.

[@BlisaBLisa]

i honestly hope he never found out that people were just laughing at him. i hope he remained in blissful ignorance doing what he loved and believing that people liked it. his poems are bad but i very much admire this kind of sincerity in people

[@j.graham8068]

Your reading of these poems filled my heart with glee Such subtle inflective brought a slap to my knee Ne'er had I heard of this grand poet before Can hardly believe I the queen would show him the door! So much has my day been lightened by his lingual pranks I must say to you thanks

[@A_Ducky]

👏

[@kitsunekun2345]

They can say he did not write well, but they can never say he did not write. Good for him.

[@shep.33]

I'm from near Dundee, and I vividly remember studying the Tay Bridge Disaster poem when I was in Primary School. I'm fairly sure it was taught to us sincerely as an example of poetry about tragedy, rather than 'how not to write poetry' though. In hindsight it might explain why I hated poetry at school, if that was the standard we were subjected to.

[@RX-12]

He told me at once what was ailing me, He said I had been writing too much poetry, And from writing poetry I would have to refrain, Because I was suffering from inflammation of the brain.

[@kritten264]

it's like that meme of making bangers at 3AM and later realising how bad they are when you're awake but this guy was never awake

[@DeeSchnutzinger-Mauph]

Fym he was *always* awake

[@Ari-ez1vj]

I'm glad he never stopped doing what he loved... even if it was terrible.

[@manuelillanes1635]

neither did hitl3r

[@georgethakur]

​@@manuelillanes1635Well, he did stop. The Austrian Painter loved painting, and that's not what he did for the rest of his life once he got rejected from art school. Unless you count painting maps.

[@themulletteer6839]

Both the worst poet and Macbeth? That's an accomplishment. All of this knowledge and a Tommy Wiseau refrence? You spoil us Qxir. Awesome as always friend.

[@rosykindbunny1313]

Honestly, I gotta hand it to him. What he did was extremely in character to Macbeth. I'd argue he has the most accurate depiction.

[@ptorq]

McGonagall was so bad he inspired the name of a job in a literary work. In Terry Pratchett's Wee Free Men, the Nac Mac Feegle have battle poets called "gonnagles" whose primary purpose is to recite poetry that's so excruciatingly bad that it demoralizes the enemy.

[@saltedmutton7269]

like in the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy! hell yeah i didn't know that was real!!

[@WobblesandBean]

This reminds me of that opera singer was was terrible, but she was completely oblivious. She even rented out Carnegie Hall for a concert that sold out cuz everyone thought it was so funny.

[@LLlAMnYP]

Qxir's poem that incites us to subscribe Has a much more agreeable vibe It tries to rival McGonagall's badness But instead underscores the poet's sadness

[@lorindawoerner4452]

Pretty good poem

[@PhoenixO8]

Wait a minute... Did you just 😮

[@LLlAMnYP]

@@lorindawoerner4452 just goes to show that McGonagall was so bad, he was actually good 😁

[@seannguyen7586]

He truly is the Tommy Wiseau of English poetry

[@andrewweitzman4006]

Florence Foster Jenkins, too.

[@goatscream8345]

THOU ART TEARING ME TO BITS VICTORIA

[@cryamistellimek9184]

Less of a raging narcissistic asshole than Tommy Wiseau.

[@Charlie-js8rj]

Honestly, judging by the entertainment value these poems bring, they're pretty damn good. Talent is talent, even if it's a talent for making people laugh and want to throw stuff at you

[@reddvids]

Never thought it possible to get second-hand embarrassment from a poem until now lol

[@fandyus4125]

That's odd. I get second hand embarrassment from contemporary poetry, but not this.

[@MusketeerTigershark1822]

Yooo a furry!!!!!

[@itsv1p3r]

If anyone ever clowns me hundreds of years after my death im pulling some poltergeist shit

[@connorharrison3352]

My grandfather loved his poetry. Thought they were the funniest things he'd ever read.

[@MalcolmCooks]

I live in the Tayside area of Scotland, and McGonagall is still a bit of a local legend. There's a pub near me called the Silv'ry Tay in reference to his poems

[@quintrankid8045]

Do people there drink to abstinence?

[@adilsongoliveira]

I really loved this guy, he invented the unintentional stand-up comedy. He is the Ed Wood of poetry! 😁

[@davidgrunga]

When he unironically used the word hullabaloo I absolutely lost it

[@smugwendigo5123]

Hullabaloo is a good song tho

[@Narmatonia]

"I know writers who use subtext and they're all cowards"

[@beasee379]

You're telling me his popularity was entirely based in irony, all while he was completely oblivious that he was being mocked? Oh, hes just the original Chris-chan

[@purplehaze2358]

"which sometimes resulted in him being pelted with stones or vegetables." -He says after illustrating him being pelted with a tomato, which is neither

[@RobKaiser_SQuest]

Man don't start this

[@Qxir]

When the viewers finally start questioning the accuracy of drawings in which characters often appear with no arms 🧐

[@purplehaze2358]

@@Qxir I don't see the problem here, the characters suffered a flesh wound.

[@John.McMillan]

This channel has to be the best gold mines I've ever stumbled across. Just randomly found your first video and have been hooked since. The fact you didn't hit one million subscribers years ago is baffling.

[@A_Ducky]

He's my favorite KZbinr by far, and I found him somehow from Sabaton to the video about dude OD-ing in WW2

[@rebel6301]

the second you mentioned the possibility of him having been on the 'tism spectrum i blurted "HE JUST LIKE ME FOR REAL!!!"

[@asurlybarber3620]

This guy was the first "lolcow" from the sound of it. He crawled so that Chris Chan could walk.

[@lou1781]

I live in Dundee and had no idea about this gentleman. Thoroughly enjoyed it - good on him for never giving up!

[@kevinboros7427]

Worst poet ever? These are the most entertaining pieces of literature I've ever laid my eyes upon!

[@skunkrat01]

WE NEED MORE POEMS WITH BUTTRESSES!!!!

[@Anon_Spartan]

I just heard about this poem due to the recent bridge disaster but they didn't even include the poem. So thank you.

[@waxblastt]

13:48 basically "some historians think he might have been autistic, but some others think he might have just been a bit of a douche"

[@skunkrat01]

Ok the poem about him forced out of the Circus is just olden days "I did everything right and they indicted me!" I can't be the only one who heard that

[@jackalenterprisesofohio]

I mean to be fair he wasn't doing anything quite sqaure.

[@aliquotidian]

I thought Royal Circus was THE posh address in Auld Reekie, different type of big top and clown altogether....

[@skunkrat01]

@@aliquotidian 1. 🤣 2. I would make a joke about there being ONLY one posh address in Dundee, but I'll level with you, I'm Australian, and I'm sure it's fine

[@aliquotidian]

@skunkrat01 1. I too am Australian, with several ties to Scotland (including my given name, by chance) 2. Auld Reekie is the name for Edinburgh, from its marvellous atmosphere in days gone by. I think Dundee lies Northwest... or is that Aberdeen? Entire country looks like everything can be reached on foot.

[@Mlo-tn9yr]

He's genuinely my favourite poet. It doesn't try to be anything clever or whitty. It's genuinely funny then again I had to study Carole ann Duffy in school and she genuinely put me off onions for a while so the bar is low

[@rwsd343]

Man that Carole stuff was an absolute chore to do in school, having to analyse every little word that was written across 5-6 poems she wrote. Never again.

[@Mlo-tn9yr]

@@rwsd343 so bad isn't it? I could never take it seriously especially "I give you an onion" I'm Scottish and in class there was always someone putting a Shrek voice on and saying "onions have layers"

[@rwsd343]

@@Mlo-tn9yr I wish they would've put some Robert Burns stuff instead like they did in primary school.

[@younglaze5402]

this dude would make some fire story telling rap

[@juliankohler5086]

OMG, you should recite more of his poetry! Do it live, man! And you can't laugh while reciting, not even smile. You can laugh in between poems but not during. And you're not allowed to practice. I don't watch livestreams but I would for sure make this the exception!

[@mjisthegoat88]

2:38 imagine dying in a tragic accident and then on top of that suffering the indignity of having it remembered with this piece of crap

[@Big_Not_Good]

Today i learned an awful lot, about some old forgotten snot. He rhymed and rhymed his life away yet never had that much to say. And when at last this clip did end, i sent it off to all my friend.

[@cr10001]

That scans far better than anything McGonagall ever wrote!

[@Big_Not_Good]

@@cr10001 Alas! Attempts to agitate are surely failing fast! Although I do not alligate, nor hold you in my grasp. I find the time to set aside and ascertain the past, to try my best to entertain, the ever growing mass.

[@crazyguy32100]

This story actually has a lot of good points. Aside from the tenacity and entertainment (alibeit unintentional) he brought to people the guy decided to change paths and pursue his chosen art, starting at 53. Never too late to start doing what you love.

[@derekeastman7771]

I don’t think it was unintentional. If people were regularly throwing things at this guy for reading his poems, there is no way he continued to go about and read his poems without accepting in some way that the poems and thrown objects are related.

[@purplehaze2358]

I can confidently say he is not the worst poet in history. I am. It's me.

[@maticz3923]

not in history you have to die first

[@thurapy684]

So real

[@A_Ducky]

Dear Johnny, get away from Dundee! - a poem by me. If you don't like it, wait 120yrs then write about me 🤷

[@danevertt3210]

You rhymed ‘me’ with ‘me’

[@aliquotidian]

Still a rhyme

[@seriouslee4119]

Shit, this video hits home, this is what scares me more than anything. Like, I've always realised that I'm probably less than average in every way conceivable, but the only thing that's kept me from trying to make a name of myself is the fear that I'll do my best and not realise that everyone is laughing at me. So I've long since held the position that I'd rather be below average in secret (and in poverty), rather than trying to strike out and have everyone laugh at me without (or with, I guess) me realising.

[@hamishfox]

Honestly he's not as bad as Rupi Kaur.

[@MetricPolygon]

I dunno, usually Rupi Kaur poems leave SOME room for interpretation, his feel so surface level and literal that they just seem like sentences that inexplicably rhyme at the end. Plus, at least Rupi Kaur can usually tell when a poem should end.

[@colinwatt9387]

This must be the closest we can come to experiencing real Vogon poetry.

[@SmartGuy202]

Let's not forget about Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings

[@StuffandThings_]

That was my first thought too, this guy must've secretly been a Vogon tasked with surveying Earth

[@rosykindbunny1313]

This man was a Vogon disguised as a human

[@c3h50n023]

"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azagoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelvebook epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth." Douglas Adams Although William Topaz McGonagall maybe worse than Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings.

[@hellenohello6604]

Omg i included a Vogon Poem too! An Example of Vogon Poetry Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning) As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning On a lurgid bee, That mordiously hath blurted out, Its earted jurtles, grumbling Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles, Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts, And living glupules frart and stipulate, Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries. Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't!

[@corsim5997]

“Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.” ― *Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy*

[@cr10001]

As SmartGuy202 said below, it's Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings. Unless DNA changed the name in some subsequent edition of which I'm not aware.

[@bluegum6438]

​@@cr10001it did actually get changed! The woman's name is a real person who was a friend of Douglas Adams, and she was a bit upset about it when the book started getting popular, so it was removed after a certain edition

[@rosykindbunny1313]

After hearing this guy's poems, I'm starting to emphasize with the part in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy when Arthur and Ford were tortured with Vogon poetry. Also, as a Shakespeare buff who has been in a production of Macbeth, I find his portrayal hilariously in-character.

[@joshuapatrick682]

“Alas, you have an artistic temperament but you are not an artist.” Marie Calvet circa 1965. Words someone should have said to this man at some point.

[@Just_Tong]

He's a poet and he didnt realise it

[@ninogaggi]

Superb 😂😂😂

[@aprilflynn]

ding ding ding

[@BlaecOleander]

Nah, I genuinely love this dude. They were sleeping on him for sure 😂

[@GoingNorthObv]

My guy, stop starting sentences with "nah" unless it holds any relative weight. It's on the same level as "ok, but can we appreciate....?". Other than that, I agree with what you said 😅

[@SahiPie]

@@GoingNorthObvnah

[@TheUkaners]

@@GoingNorthObvfound the Redditor

[@BlaecOleander]

@@GoingNorthObv First and foremost, I am a woman, second, who are you to dictate how I (or any person, for that matter) express myself? Not that I feel the need to defend my use of language to anyone, but the "nah" of which you speak wasn't even superfluous; it was an expression of my disagreement with the assessment of this fellow being "The worst poet in history." Why not leave people to their individuality and enjoy the diversity of expression that this can bring, or conversely maybe just ignore people who express their thoughts in ways that are disagreeable to you... coincidentally, this is the same advice I would have given to anyone disparaging the poet in question, so I find this situation amusing.

[@ct6502c]

​@@GoingNorthObvThe same as skinny jeans wearing Millennials who say "literally" all the time in that whiney upspeak voice...

[@dnrfrank]

this guy is the historical equivalent of people posting rap lyrics under instrumentals on youtube

[@akadjadikt]

Your poetry reading skills are top notch!! You made the poem of the silvery tay actually sound good👏🏻

[@techpriestsalok8119]

This just reminds me of a poem that I had to read multiple times during English class about how experienced poets didn’t need to follow the “rules”. It was so terrible I still remember the broad strokes a decade later.

[@missysuspichy7755]

Just found your channel and love, love, love. Subscribed and liked but you deserve at least a couple more thumbs up so here they are👍👍

[@stonecoldet8101]

I mean I can’t even hate, dude wrote better poetry than I ever could 🤷‍♂️💯

[@iangreenhalgh9280]

Actualy, I think he was a superb poet as his work is so readily accesible and can be simultaneously both hilarious and moving.

[@SeaDog337]

There once was a man from Dundee, Who sought to perform poetry. So with terrible form he wrote up a storm, Just for drunkards to pelt him with glee!