r/AITA for Suing My Brother?

[@parkerabbott2189]

Hey Rslash, you missed an update on the 2nd story and it actually worked out. It turns out that Harper's dad was way worse than OP knew about, and mother's day had prompted Harper's mom to realize that too. Harper's mom wants to divorce him, but needed help, and had asked OP's wife for help the day OP brought up cutting them off. That's why she blew up, but they've now talked it out and came up with some strategies to support Harper and her mom without making OP feel overwhelmed in the situation. She's living with them for now, but everyone is on the same page and okay with it

[@chillbruh333]

Hope he sees this! Thanks for the update

[@jennifert8542]

Thank you i was about to comment this. Everything is working out and boundaries were set like adults

[@MrDoverfield]

Jesus Christ, OP’s wife is horrible at communicating. Instead of telling OP why he should help she just demands it.

[@greenownes]

Came to say this! Man i really want to hear his opinion on the update!!

[@itsOasus]

That's great to hear!

[@DarkEinherjar]

Considering what Jessica did, I have no idea why OP even bothers to invite her. If my "friend" brought their kids to my place and they caused this much damage, they'd be permanently banned from future events.

[@gecko2.617]

if the parents atleast pay for the damages, there might be a friendship to salvage, but not doing that means exactly that: No friendship whatsoever and thus no invitation either!

[@condorboss3339]

I wonder about that $5000 couch getting ruined by kid puke. There are professional cleaners who can remove just about any stain - kid puke is pretty routine. Probably easier to get out than dog smell.

[@Wickedxhippie91]

​@Condor Boss if you look at other comments, the Reddit post was updated and OP did try to get it professionally cleaned. The stain wouldn't come out. And her dog isn't allowed on that couch.

[@abiean222]

@@condorboss3339 the couch might be white. white is very easily stained and its hard to hide those stains.

[@spencernelson2433]

That’s why R Slash’s take on this one is terrible IMO. OP invited her ONLY BECAUSE OP knew their other friends liked her. That’s selfless and really showing of a good friend, not a bad friend like R Slash suggested.

[@onlyhalfevil_333]

On the story with the white couch there were some updates with additional information. The OP got the white couch professionally cleaned and the vomit stain would not come out. The OP also added that the day that event had happened Jessica wasn't even invited over (because of the no kid rule) and arrived while the OP was in the bathroom and Jessica had set her kids down onto the couch the kid then vomited onto the couch. OP also added that they realized that they are tired of dealing with Jessica and informed her that she is no longer welcome at her house and plans to take her to court for the couch.

[@aroh9632]

Good for OP, Jessica sounds like a nightmare and an entitled parent.

[@zootopiawilson]

I tried to find the story on reddit. Do you have a link?

[@dudeorduuude5211]

I don't believe that this Jessica wasn't invited. OP is an untrustworthy storyteller. Likely Jessica is an AH, but I think OP is as well, and the way they tell the story makes them very unlikable.

[@dx1450]

I like the comment which said she should have screwed a better class of guy and then maybe she'd have a babysitter.

[@squirrel670]

​@@dx1450that's uncalled for. Lots of single mothers and fathers aren't entitled, it's better to put the blame where it belongs

[@mavis4801]

Jessica doesn't need new friends she needs to stop being an entitled parent. OP and the group did try to include her and made an exception for the kids, instead of making sure they were taken care of she tried to have others act as free babysitting. Also, she brings a sick child and just lets him puke wherever he wants? She sounds like one of those moms that thinks partying is more important than the safety of her children. OP is not the AH in the slightest, she gave the kids a chance, it didn't work out, they can stay home now.

[@peachrenard2320]

I find it interesting how R slash seems to side with the Entitled Parents these days.

[@seeker4924]

It's funny to me how he seems to be giving OP flack for still being upset about the couch. Like, did he forget about the part where it was 5k and not a single cent was coughed up to compensate? I'd be pretty pissed about something that expensive being irreversibly damaged too lmao

[@RadiantAngel]

​@@seeker4924 It doesn't even sound like Jessica was really apologetic either. Not that it would excuse the costly damage, she could have at least shown some remorse.

[@ihatebeingright3376]

Agree! She made an exception for her and it went blandly so Op set boundaries.

[@ahstiasummers5583]

I'd say Jessica is more like the other variant of entitled parent who doesn't want to be a parent and expects others to be impromptu on-call sitters

[@KittenUndercover]

Hold on..Jessica’s kid ruined a $5k couch and she didn’t bother to pay, but OP is a bad friend for not wanting the kids at their house again?? No..just no.

[@squirrel670]

I think he means that they are clearly not friends and it would be best to stop inviting her entirely.

[@yukiiasakii9758]

Right? Not only that but everyone in the group chat seems super toxic toward Jessica including op, the relationship seems strained, idek why she includes her if they dont act like friends to begin with lol.

[@DeanDraxon8752]

Way to ignore the actual issue, which is that OP literally says they do not like Jessica and would make an exception for someone other than her. This isn’t about the 5k couch(which Jessica probably couldn’t afford and also who needs a 5k couch???), this is about OP singling her out while still pretending to be her friend.

[@orangeJesus]

Good. I'm glad to see that I'm not the only same person here like I know he didn't give OP any butthole scores but he essentially wasn't on opie's side either. And that commoner is just the illusional to be fair. OP does have a child in the commoner. Probably has a child too so they see it that way cuz there's this huge bias among parents with friends that don't have kids.

[@orangeJesus]

​@@DeanDraxon8752so just because somebody doesn't need a 5k couch, it's okay for Jessica's child to throw up on that couch and not replace it yet. You're delusional bro. And you can tell you have kids and I'm sure you've ruined other. Your kids have ruined other people's couches. You're so biased. It's not even funny how bias you are

[@zedhunter15]

A $5k couch?! I’d be bitter too, Jessica shouldn’t be allowed back until she pays

[@shykorustotora]

Yet alone bring the kids AGAIN

[@Arthion]

Like jesus, even if you can't pay 5k just start making downpayments, set up a payment plan or something just to show you actually care ffs?

[@ZombieSazza]

Your SIL and Brother KNEW that you kept your home art studio locked for a reason, but they didn’t want to actually supervise their kids and felt entitled to your studio and didn’t once offer an apology, wasn’t upset at his kids destroying your property, and instead of paying up because his children caused the damages? He got your family to harass you. Your FIL was trying to hold his son accountable, it took be threatened with court and being disinherited before he even apologised, which shows his clear lack of respect to you. Just make sure to never have them over at your house in the future, and make sure he pays. NTA, your BIL just straight up sucks.

[@annika5893]

And BIL's reasoning was idiotic. "Who pays that much for just markers?" You could ask the same about any expensive thing. Why buy an expensive car and get upset if something happens to it, you should have bought a cheap one. Why buy an expensive golf club and get angry if someone breaks it, you should have bought a cheap one. Just because someone chooses to spend more money on something they find important is no excuse to not pay for damages.

[@BronzeDragon133]

Any child who gets into my artist-grade paints will find that their parents are presented with a bill. A very large bill. Just the PAINT is often $50 for a tube. "But he's just a child!" And that was twenty five dollars an ounce. Pay up.

[@CuteLilEldritch1010]

And his excuse of “but kids wanna draw!” Is also so outrageously stupid. Even my then-six-year-old brother and five-year-old cousins knew not to touch my art supplies and accepted that no means no. If they wanted to draw with me, they’d have to ask to use my cheaper Crayola set. Edit: oh god it got worse. They drew on finished artwork!? Don’t people learn not to draw on stuff they aren’t supposed to at the age of three? Man this guy’s a lousy parent.

[@fdm2155]

Even if they didn't know, who allows their kids to just use someone arts supplies without express permission? That takes two seconds: Hey, is it okay for the kids to use these art supplies? Then OP could have said no and locked the door. Or given them some supplies he was okay with them using in another space. It's always so weird when people try to get out of paying for things they take or break by saying the owner shouldn't have spent so much on it. If you hit a Rolls Royce in your junker car you don't get to tell the owner they should have bought a 10 year oldToyota! 🤣🤣

[@survivedandthriving]

@@annika5893 Agreed. I paint, draw, etc. and know how expense those supplies are. All I kept thinking was that if it were computer equipment or other electronics would the BIL still think it was OK for his kids to destroy them? Then, I figured BIL would still think it's OK for his kids to destroy anything so long as BIL doesn't have to parent them in the meantime. But, others would be more likely to get it if it were electronics. As you said, people can spend their money as they like, and whether it's sports gear, electronics, art supplies, etc. others have no right to ruin it, nor to allow (and in this case almost tacitly encourage) their kids to ruin it.

[@sk8ergrrl1]

Engagement ring story: look if Jim wants no relationship with OP, that’s fine, that’s his decision, and OP sounds like she will respect his decision. But that means he gets none of the benefits that come from OP. No engagement ring, no money for the wedding, no free babysitting if they decide to have kids. I wish people realised this when they decide to cut contact with relatives and friends. You can’t have it both ways. “Oh yeah I want nothing to do with you, but I’ll take your money”. Also - no kids story: if you invited your friend over and their child puked on your expensive sofa and didn’t pay to replace it or have it cleaned, I don’t think you’d like that friend either.

[@fdm2155]

Yeah that whole thing was ridiculous. What kind of idiot would think...yeah my stepmother is a bitch and I've always hated her. ALSO I'm totally expecting to get her engagement ring that's a family heirloom from her family to propose to my girlfriend! Dude is beyond delusional! 🤣🤣

[@lancerevell5979]

With the utter disrespect this AH shows OP, he deserves being cut off completely. OP has no obligation to give anything to him. If he doesn't consider OP "family", that goes both ways. I'd be going total NC with him. 😡 No kids story.... I'd be dropping that "friend". No need for that drama. And, take her to small claims court for the ruined couch. 🤨

[@fdm2155]

@@lancerevell5979 I'm guessing OP didn't bother because Jessica is broke. If she can't afford a babysitter... she certainly doesn't have $5K!

[@sk8ergrrl1]

@@fdm2155 she could have offered to have to cleaned or clean it herself.

[@agentmaryland1239]

@@sk8ergrrl1 If it's a $5k couch, that shit needs super special treatment to get stains out of it. Simply dumping bleach or stain remover isn't going to do it and will likely just ruin the material. In the end, it's easier to just replace the couch.

[@Meowzi1992]

DISAGREED ALL THE WAY ABOUT THAT MOM "FRIEND" No one wants kids at their house especially when you're being a total b-word and trying to get others to take care of them. I'm so tired of people giving so many excuses to bad mothers

[@shykorustotora]

Exactly! The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway once before, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@undrhil]

@@lorilancaster5917 I believe this comment thread is in regards to the party hosting story, not the story with the 2 little girls with the one girl father being a dead beat.

[@daniellepaszkiewicz1714]

Same!! A bad mom is a bad mom. Full stop. And Jessica is not a "friend" if she can't abide by OP's house rules. She's a b¡tch for that, and gee, I wonder why she's single with two kids and can't find a babysitter for the little hellspawns /s

[@dominickthomas263]

THANK YOU.Someone understands

[@lorilancaster5917]

@@undrhil my bad

[@iononcantomascrivo]

The no kids story: I have to disagree with r/slash. OP might have liked Jessica at one point, but her overwhelming sense of entitlement has caused their friendship to diminish. It's not OP’s fault that Jessica had two kids with two different men that turned into ghosts after the children were born. She needs to make better choices, also she needs to teach her children boundaries, that the word no is a complete sentence and have accountability for herself as well as the children she created. I would have personally ended the friendship after Jessica refuse to replace the couch after her kid ruined it. If OP's policy for her house being a no kid zone wasn't already in place, for me, that would have been when it went into effect.

[@RadiantAngel]

From OP's comments, it also seems Jessica has been testing their patience over time too. She even once cheated on the brother of a friend in the group OP has always been closer with.

[@sirnird9982]

I don’t understand why rslash doesn’t understand Jessica is abusing her “friendship” and being a Karen. But yeah sometimes I don’t agree with rslashs opinion.

[@JadeAnnabelArt]

Why did no kids story get a AH score? She doesn't want kids there, anyones kids. She's not being singled out, she's being held to the same standard as everyone else.

[@shykorustotora]

The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@gecko2.617]

​@@shykorustotora exactly! If you destroy someone elses property (like the Art studio?!) you have to pay for it, if it were your kids, the same rule applies! Since she bailed out, OP is absolutely not the jerk. If a friend did the same to me, I'd be the same and not let their kids in ever again without proper compensation for the damage allready dealt to my property!

[@ChrisLeigh]

Rslash gave her 0/5 bad guys. It was the commenter who said YTA, not Rslash.

[@luke_at_my_art]

​@@ChrisLeigh rslash did give OP a 0/5 score, but also said that OP doesn't seem like a good friend so it almost sounds like he was hesitant to give OP a 0/5

[@zootopiawilson]

Well, the OP said she didn't like Jessica much anyway. But I don't see the OP TA. Heck, if someone cost me 1k, let alone 5K of damages and didn't pay up I wouldn't want them around my house, either.

[@TheSimba86]

nothing worse than parents that let their kids run rampant in someone else's house destroying stuff and then get mad when someone else tells their kids to stop.

[@ResidentMilf]

"How DARE you! What makes you think you can parent my kids!" Well, someone's gotta. You aren't.

[@CrownedYeti]

I also hate that some people don't realize how expensive high-quality art supplies are. Saying they're "just markers" and "made for kids" is so freaking stupid and ignorant. I would've banned the parents and the kids from my house for a while.

[@ryukaze7392]

@@CrownedYeti I got so mad at the BIL when he said that, especially since my wife is an artist herself. Specific brushes, markers, pencils, etc. for good quality work ARE NOT CHEAP and I don't blame OP at all for wanting to take him to small claims court for it. ESPECIALLY after the crotch goblins messed up the painting that OP was working on and that Sally had just finished.

[@sassyghost_8]

Oh yeah. My cousin’s daughter was like that. She got into everything. She grew out of it, thankfully, but we still had to wait 10 years before she got the picture. Locking my room was a must because I take prescription medication that I didn’t want her thinking was candy when she was small. Parents need to teach boundaries and respect for other peoples’ things.

[@dimsufferer9951]

“(FIL) was mad at me for reacting so nuclear” Maybe if FIL had raised his stupid son better, OP wouldn’t have needed to sue

[@scpfoundation8376]

The second story has an update: So quite a few people has asked for an update on this situation, sorry it’s taken so long but it’s been a hectic few weeks. As for the updates the Amber and I are fine. Her reaction was based on poor word choices by me, poor communication by both of us, and some things I was unaware of at the time. The short version is: Things at home were much worse than I was aware of for Jennifer, and my wife had only recently found out how bad things were. Mother’s Day was the straw that broke the camel’s back for Jennifer as well, she was raised in a you must stay together for the kids family, when Harper came to me for a gift she realized that her daughter did not see her sperm donor as a father so it was time to get out. Jennifer came to my wife to ask for help leaving because she had no family in the area and Jennifer does not have the financial resources to leave on her own. So the night my wife was going to ask me if we could help her is when I told her I was tired of raising someone else’s kid. That’s what caused her reaction. The Saturday after out initial argument Jennifer did not come over and Emma went to her grandparents, so the wife and I had a long discussion about what was going on, that’s when I found out all the stuff going on with Jennifer. The wife and I decided the Jennifer and Harper can stay with us for the time being. My problem was never with those 2 it was that I had to take over for the deadbeat ( or dead beet if you prefer). When we told Emma about this she was super happy her friend was staying with her. We had a conversation with her that if she wants to have time with either parent with out Harper just let us know, and we do not want her to feel left out of anything. Last weekend with the help of a Uhaul and some friends of mine we got all of Jennifer’s and Harper’s stuff and moved it into our house. The good thing is we have a 4 bedroom house so everyone gets a bedroom, the bad news is my wife’s office got moved to the basement. Wish me luck we shall see how this goes.

[@esmeraldaloschuetz9120]

Good luck! All the best for everyone in this, except for the scumbag "dad".

[@mindlessmeat4055]

What an amazing update. Thank you kind sir.

[@THEDubbleHelixx]

I'm so happy they figure it out and that the friend is leaving the deadbeat! I hope they stay on the same page as to how long they're staying, though, because I can see it playing out that they just fall into the same pattern, and OP gets mad all over again.

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

Thank you for the positive update!

[@carolynjohnson6213]

Glad for the update and that you're able to help them get out of this bad situation!

[@nine9nine9]

No kids story: Uh, if she didn't replace the couch, she has no right to get angry if you didn't invite the kids over so they could ruin it, again.

[@lorilancaster5917]

My issue about the couch was, couldn’t she have gotten it cleaned? However Jessica was out of line expecting people to look after her kids and still expects everyone to accommodate her

[@HobieInTheBox]

​@@lorilancaster5917 some couches are beyond saving depending on what spilled on them. In that case you have to replace them completely

[@shykorustotora]

Exactly. That and they're saying OP is the AH, but they never actually say what she did to be the AH... wtf?

[@paulgales8641]

To be honest I got the weird feeling the couch story was BS and just thrown in to make the mom look bad.

[@CooperGal24]

Yeah exactly! How can anybody see OP as the bad guy for not wanting kids at her house? She said it herself, she doesn’t like kids and her dog’s scared of kids. OP set up some decent boundaries and the “friend” broke them, NOW half of OP’s friends and even the Reddit Users are like “Oh YOU’RE the bad guy for HATING kids and excluding Jessica from your get togethers!”. Uh, no? Boundaries were set, PLUS Jessica didn’t even take responsibility for replacing the couch that her baby PUKED on, AND she expected her friends to be her free babysitter while SHE relaxes. Jessica’s using OP’s get togethers as an excuse to “pick and choose” who watches the kid that she popped out into the world. OP’s NOT in the wrong here, Jessica is, and for her and a couple people to call out OP on HER decision, I think OP needs to cut those toxic people from her life.

[@RosyBibliophile]

The person who doesn't want kids at their home is not the bad guy. Jessica is dead wrong for not even helping out with $5k replacement couch and pushing off her kids on others. She is definitely not the bad guy!

[@jfjvmdvbdcndkj]

We don't know if Jessica didn't help, all OP said was that Jessica didn't pay for it. Which, a single mother raising two kids with two dead beat fathers who couldn't even afford a sitter, either OP didn't bother or Jessica begged OP not to make her pay. I agree with the pushing the kids on others part Really, it feels like OP and the one friend who slut shamed Jessica (basically the ones against Jessica) are spoiled, rich people trashing on a broke person. I agree with the commentor RSlash brought up. OP isn't TA, but she's a terrible friend and Jessica needs new friends. Especially since the one friend who hosts getogethers knows her situation and enforces a no kid rule.

[@Robin93k]

@@jfjvmdvbdcndkj I agree that Jessica needs new friends... people who are just as entitled degenerates as her! OP didn't create the no kids rule, because she hates Jessica, but because Jessicas Kids are a menace that created THOUSANDS of dollars worth of damage, that neither the children, obviously, nor their 3 parents are paying, who are literally all 3 deadbeats , not just the fathers! Because not paying for the things you are responsible for, aka your kids, is literally the definition of a deadbeat parent! Don't try to paint her as someone better than she has proven to be just because of your gender prejudices! Not every women automatically makes a good mother!!!

[@RadiantAngel]

​​@@jfjvmdvbdcndkj OP made an exception for her in the past and Jessica abused it by pawning her kids off on others when they all were there to have fun too and they kept refusing. OP also enforced the same rule with their nieces and nephews after that didn't behave with their dog, so it's not OP is really played favorites. When the kid puked on the couch, the kid wasn't even invited. Jessica brought the kid anyway, plopped them on the couch, and let their kid vomit. The only reason OP didn't stop it in time was because they were in the bathroom when Jessica came in. More details can be found in the comments and the edit made on the post later.

[@WasdTheory]

@@jfjvmdvbdcndkjalright, track Jessica down and make plans with her then

[@Rj-ij6ko]

Last Story: I think it’s REALLY telling that Kate just…didnt have an answer when her family asked her why she kept calling Op Andrea. Also the fact that she waited until they were alone before blowing up on her. Like newsflash lady: if you didn’t want to be embarrassed, call her by her proper name. NTA at all Op, this is about control, she wants to control your life and the most basic way to do that, is by giving you a new name.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And this wasn’t the first time OP ignored her. Just the first with Kates family. Kate sounds like she did tried to do a power play only to have gotten played. I hope Kate and OPs dad have a serious conversation and for her to knock it off

[@anionleader]

And the gall to call Andi a brat? What the frak? The audacity of this capital B witch!

[@fdm2155]

Yes, Kate is clearly trying to tell Andi that Andi is unimportant. And apparently the father is going along with this...for THREE YEARS? wtaf?

[@lancerevell5979]

Consistently using a name that is not OP's name is simply a powerplay. I'd totally ignore her too, and if I did have to speak with her I'd call her by a different name. See how she feels.

[@gecko2.617]

​@@lancerevell5979 better yet, use a different name, every time you talk to her, that will drive her crazy veeery fast 😂😂

[@garysmith7392]

Disagree on Rslash’s take on the no kids story. Destroying an expensive couch, trying to push her kids on other people, not respecting boundaries….Jessica is clearly at fault there.

[@toe-b203]

As a person who doesn't want kids, we get shit on hard for not wanting them in our house or "singling parents out" I think Rslash might have a slight bias against child free people.

[@ashleychilders6372]

I strongly disagreed with RSlash on that one too! Just that the dog doesn’t like kids is reason enough let alone the prior loss of a couch. Someone else in the friend group can host if they feel it’s unfair.

[@callmewolf3910]

Agreed

[@kdepp90]

@Yvon Q. there was a section that RSlash didn't read in the post. The reason that the dog doesn't like kids, is he had had his tail pulled on by a kid once, and hasn't liked them since.

[@ihavenolife8945]

@Yvon Q. more like badly trained kid, the dog doesn’t deserve to be abused by random children and had a good reason for not liking them. It’s the parents job to make sure their spawn doesn’t mistreat animals

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 3: yeah tell the rest of the family that you're not giving the priceless family heirloom to the step child that called you a b****for asking him to clean up after himself. He's not sorry and still treat you like crap, and I know that family heirloom doesn't mean anything more than a free engagement ring to him. He clearly thinks you're a pushover and honestly I wouldn't even associate with him, he clearly doesn't like you and if he just wants to talk to his dad say let them there's no point in you dealing with his abuse.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And he didn’t even try to play nice to get the ring from OP. He just demanded it and assumed she would give it to them. I also wonder if he treats other women how he treats OP. If that’s the case, the gf may not want to marry him.

[@fdm2155]

Also who expects a 49 year old to give up their engagement ring? Even if OP was his mother and they had a great relationship... what are the odds she'd sacrifice her own engagement ring so he can get off cheap or whatever? Nobody should expect OP to give up the ring, heirloom or not, until OP is no longer using it.

[@vickirogers4565]

The ring should go to her biological son Harry.

[@jasonmomoa5124]

The father in law really pulled a godfather move and made the couples an offer they couldn't refuse

[@vanitassenpai1676]

Story 4: honestly i understand OP, she is the only one in the friend group who actually hosts. This can get a bit frustrating so of course she sets up rules. Also maybe she doesn't like her very much but big friend groups always have some sort of dynamics where not everyone likes each member the same

[@lorilancaster5917]

OP even commented that she’s not fond of Jessica and damaging her couch and not offering an apology or reimbursement of sorts put the nail on the coffin

[@undrhil]

Yes. I like how R/thinks that not inviting Jessica to the parties wouldn't be singling her out. Lol!

[@shykorustotora]

The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@Parrapette]

​@Shykorus Totora actually I read an update that said Jessica just showed up that first time with the kids, and was let in while she was in the bathroom. The rules weren't bent, she broke them, sat her kids on the couch, and then the kid threw up. Just an update if you didn't see it! Been looking at people's thoughts in the comments. Also saw somewhere she said she was going to do the small claims for the couch

[@MinusTheCoffee]

If it was a father in the couch story doing the same thing rslash would of roasted him alive. Calling him a deadbeat dad and a loser for pawning his kids off onto other people and not taking responsibility for the couch. But because it’s a single mum it’s okay I guess.

[@Yogasefski]

Story 1: You break it, you bought it. Story 4: You beak it, you bought it.

[@Sarabara113]

The no kids story is insane to me. If I’m offering to host and say no kids, it’s no kids. That doesn’t make you a bad person. That just means she can’t attend this event. Like OP was so right, she could offer to host or try to make plans for people to have a picnic somewhere or something so that her kids can come. You can’t just get mad at someone for having a no kids rule because it’s inconvenient for you.

[@MinusTheCoffee]

If it was a father in the couch story doing the same thing rslash would of roasted him alive. Calling him a deadbeat dad and a loser for pawning his kids off onto other people and not taking responsibility for the couch. But because it’s a single mum it’s okay I guess.

[@Sarabara113]

@@MinusTheCoffee literally! The double standard there is insane

[@FireVixen164]

Exactly! If you decide to have kids it's your responsibility to find things for all of you to do. It would only be "excluding" Jessica if her friends said she couldn't come to their events regardless of the kids, which for some reason is exactly what Rslash suggested here???? I honestly wonder if he missed something in this story!

[@Iknowthishandleistaken]

Love your content, but OMG THE AI THUMNAILS ARE UNSETTLING AS HELL BRO

[@fiindyourwings]

FR THO 🥹💀

[@nine9nine9]

Yeah can we stop with that?

[@HatZ.PetoriaZero]

Wtf is with the ai art?

[@LittleGibler]

FR

[@hotteok.mp4]

agree 🥲 watching yt on the tv with my friends and went to my history to find a video, they were like “what the hEck do you watch”

[@ConventionallyStupid]

Imagine being called the AH when you’re mad that someone’s neglect literally costed you 5,000$, are you for real? Jessica needs new friends, the ones that match her entitlement and delusions

[@emi-du1fq]

Exactly! I don’t get why the art supply story he’s on their side but it’s different when it’s a couch? In both stories the kids ruined OPs property because the parents weren’t supervising their kids but they get different treatment! Maybe if the couch OP took Jessica to small claims they wouldn’t be the AH?? Also not to mention that the couch OP has a dog who’s scared of kids why should the dog be scared in their own home

[@ryukaze7392]

@@emi-du1fq The only thing I can think of is the children's age, but even then that doesn't fully excuse RSlash for being hesitant to give Couch OP a 0/5. I have a feeling he wanted to give her a 0.5/5 AH score but didn't want the headache.

[@bimbobambiXD]

It’s not about the couch or the rules, it’s because she’s being fake towards her “friend” if she doesn’t like Jessica than just tell her and stop pretending to be her friend, it’s fake and weird

[@MegaMinerd]

​​@@bimbobambiXD To be fair, I also wouldn't want to be friends with someone who brings kids somewhere and then asks the other attendees to watch them. Especially when it ends up costing me $5000

[@NaliTikva]

Maybe if Jessica pays the money back, they can negotiate about allowing the kid at OP's home. It's still OP's choice in the end.

[@technocore1591]

Stepmom should tell her stepson: "It's your job as a man to buy an engagement ring!"

[@Artretha]

Yes! 😂🤣

[@point0case144]

That's brilliant, let him get a taste of his own medicine!

[@suitov]

And of course call him a bitch while she's at it. Turnabitch is fair play! :D

[@tw1n5nak39]

The main problem with the kids ruining the art supplies is, no matter the age of kids, they should be taught that touching other people property without permission is not allowed, I mean it’s base line courtesy

[@survivedandthriving]

Agreed. Also, in this case, aside from the obvious, many pigments in paints and inks are toxic. The BIL was so negligent in allowing his kids to play alone in that room he almost might as well have let them play under the sink - and the stuff under the sink at least often has childproof caps and terrible smells, unlike the easy-open, brightly-coloured art supplies.

[@kdepp90]

The problem today is no one wants to be a good parent and take responsibility for their gremlins actions.

[@sandel712]

I don't really see the fault here with the kids; didn't their parent send them into the art room? "Well, if mommy says it's ok, then it's ok, right?" And children that age can hardly realize they're not handling the average crayon but expensive art supplies, can they? A marker is just a marker, like daddy says... 🤷‍♀

[@sarahlilly2412]

​@@sandel712 but a 7 and 8 year old should at least know not to draw on other people's work that's like kindergarten rules and expectations (3-4 years old)

[@sandel712]

@@sarahlilly2412 agreed.

[@0307scott]

Story 4: OP is not the bad guy, she can't have kids in the house cause her dog is frightened of them also her house her rules. When you go to someone's home you follow their rules to the letter OR just don't go. Its very simple, OP 0 out of 5 Jessica gets 3 out 5 for being entitled and having a tantrum (also she brought her kids to a party last time and pretty much shoved her kids on to other people so she could relax -they are her kids and her responsibility she can't simply shove her kids on to other people to watch) the friends who are calling OP the AH 1 out 5.

[@snaebjornah]

fully agree. he even kept having friendly relations with her and kept inviting her to the gatherings even after not paying for the damages of the kids. dont know why Rslash agreed with the owners in story 1 where there was way less damage worth and the owners there went way harder against the parent but disagreed with the owners that forgave damage and kept being friendly and just has some house rules that goes for everyone. i get it if many of the friends have kids and hers is the only ones not invited but also they damaged property and she didnt take any responsibility so even then imo he is justified not inviting the kids back at least for some time until they grow up a bit more

[@zilesis1]

nah, OP is AH 1 out of 5 for being a coward. they said plain as day in the post that a) they don't like Jessica and b) if it was anyone else they would have just forgiven the couch thing and invited the kids over anyway OP needs to grow a spine and just tell Jessica they don't want to be friends. cuz what they're doing right now is using the kids as an excuse to hide behind

[@Darkloid21]

@@zilesis1 Yeah, no. She’s not a coward. That woman though is. When she’s over she puts her kids on others and then they ruined a 5,000 couch. Like…yeah I wouldn’t like someone for those things either. NTA

[@anionleader]

​@Dark Neos Yeah, Jessica still owes OP 5K smackers for the ruined couch

[@neverdateagamer1498]

​@@snaebjornah he's got deadlines to keep these daily videos so he's just sometimes going with reddit.

[@MrKingArthurhk]

Jessica destroyed a 5k couch and didn’t take responsibility. That alone is enough to kick her to the curb.

[@RadiantAngel]

I disagree with R's verdict on the No Kids Story. OP isn't even singling out Jessica, just doesn't allow kids in general. Their dog alone is a good reason to be wary of inviting kids. Also OP would have been in the right for not longer inviting Jessica over after she tried to pawn her kids off others or especially when she didn't pay for the damaged couch. OP was nice enough to not to take her to small claims and to even allow her back at the house.

[@brag0001]

Which part so you disagree on though? If rslash doesn't like people who don't like kids, that's he right. No one is entitled to being liked by others ...

[@RadiantAngel]

@@brag0001 For one, he calls OP a bad friend just because they basically have boundaries by using that one Reddit comment to represent what he thinks. OP might not exactly "like" Jessica, but they have been accommodating considering the situation. Also, what's worse is, if you read OP's comments in that post, Jessica has pulled stuff that has made OP mad over time and even recently (she even once cheated on the brother of a friend OP was always closer with). I'm not even a kid hater and try to be nice generally within reason, yet I would have a hard enough time putting up with someone like that as a friend.

[@brag0001]

@@RadiantAngel You do understand that this isn't about being factually right or wrong, do you? There is no need to rummage through all the comments to determine who is actually right or wrong about something. When rslash said that OP wasn't a good friend to Jessica, he was just stating facts OP himself said in his own post. He might be a stellar acquaintance. But if you don't like someone, you simply aren't his friend. That's not rocket science. But it's something the OP seemed to lack self-awareness about.

[@FruityFunk16]

Actually, OP states later on in the comment thread that she is taking Jessica to small claims.

[@RadiantAngel]

@@FruityFunk16 My mistake. I wrote the original comment before seeing those comments. For the small claims, I was unsure if they were only thinking of it or actually doing it because it seemed they were just seeing their options with a lawyer. Even then, it seems OP didn't do it right away until they waited a bit, giving Jessica a chance to resolve it first.

[@BeanManolo]

Fourth story: Editing to add some updates (my previous response is below) - OP tried to get the puke stain professionally cleaned, but they couldn't remove it - She initially planned to get it upholstered, but the shipping back and forth and the service itself would be more than 5k, and was cheaper to get a new one - People commented about her having a dog and a white couch, but the dog was trained to never go to the couch, and she only got problems with it with Jessica's kids - The way the couch got puked: Jessica showed up with her kids WITHOUT TELLING OP SHE WAS BRINGING THEM while OP was on the bathroom, and left them alone in the couch, when the baby puked on it I disagree with OP being the AH. Jessica isn't the only friend with a kid, but she's also the only one who insists in bringing the kid. She also seems to every time she brings the kid try to push it to others to take care of, and OP was already pretty graceful in not making her pay for the couch; Also, the dog not liking kids can be a danger for the kids, so another good reason to not have kids around. Also, "Jessica needs better friends" and "OP is making excuses? Huh, what? So OP making boundaries in her own house that Jessica keeps trying to break is her 'making excuses'? Also why I have a suspicion the friend who don't want to host is Jessica herself? Because if she is, only shows how she just see OP and the others as free babysitters while she takes a break on other's expense. If that's the case, then I agree Jessica should be removed from the friend group. But not because she needs better friends, but because OP and her other friends don't deserve a mulch like Jessica. Same for the ones siding with Jessica: if you want to be her friend, then host your own party and invite her and her kids.

[@aroh9632]

Those updates made my suspicions even clearer that Jessica is a deadbeat herself that just nails other deadbeats and then doesn't wanna deal with the consequences aka her kids, and she wants to dumb them on her friends and keep on being a deadbeat herself. Feels good that my intuition was right about Jessica :D

[@brag0001]

Rslash explicitly said that OP wasn't the butthole. What are you even talking about? All he said was that he was getting vibes of "I wouldn't like you". He might have misjudged, but how are you all construing this into rslash having judged OP as the butthole? Also: OP was able to train the dog to never go on the white couch but couldn't train the dog to tolerate the presence of kids? I call BS

[@stuartwalker9597]

@@brag0001my uncle had a dog, was great around kids apart from a cousin (not the dogs owner child) who would stomp on the dog, whistle in the dogs ears, poke the dog in the eyes, it was the only kid the dog was aggressive to, other than that the dog was great with everyone else, can only speculate that maybe op’s dog was harassed by the kids

[@BeanManolo]

@@brag0001 Wasn't rSlash, but the Reddit community who considered OP the AH (that comment stated she wasn't for the situation, but was a bit for how she treated Jessica, and the post was tagged as ESH); Also "Why OP trained her dog to not go in the sofa but not to be okay with kids around?" First: OP herself don't want kids, so why she'd spend time and money training her dog for something that would only benefit Jessica? And second: in another story rSlash covered in another video, the OP was complaining about their neighbors not teaching their dog to not jump their fence to go after OP's cats (that they left outside); On that one a CERTIFIED DOG TRAINER said training the dog would take literal years and would cost massively, so would be pointless for the neighbors to do that just to appease OP on that one; I can safely assume training her dog to be okay around kids would be the same, and would even be more pointless because it's only Jessica who would benefit from it; So yeah, training a dog to be okay around kids that aren't even OP's to benefit only someone else who shouldn't even bring her kids if OP explicit says she can't is not comparable to OP training her dog to not go in her sofa who's always there, and is much easier to teach to her dog not to do it.

[@brag0001]

@@BeanManolo you can safely assume what you want, but that's BS. It takes a professional at best a week to train a dog to lose its fear of kids. And that already assumes a severe trauma, instead of just a few bad experiences. Because that's something you can actually train, whereas "jumping the fence" must happen first, before you can address it. An electrical collar can solve that issue for a few hundred bucks though. As for not wanting kids: why would that even matter? Why would you want to let your dog suffer whenever it encounters kids, even if you don't want any on your own? Again: I call BS. People who want something are looking for ways to do it. People who don't want something are looking for reasons not to do it ...

[@silverflight01]

Story 1: Some people just do not appreciate the value of one's work and supplies, like OP's art and supplies. To him, it's just markers, but it's expensive markers. Also, the room was locked for a reason. If the kids wanted to draw they ask OP and OP only.

[@taftscott]

Your kid throwing up on a 5k couch and the parent not offering ANYTHING mad wild to me. Just end the friendship with her!!!

[@Triplebrc]

"Jessica needs better friends." What a delusional statement. A friend who does not force you to pay 5000 dollars in damages one of your kids did is a really damn good friend, I'd say too good of a friend. I would have demanded repayment from any of my friends over this, and they would have done the same, that is just respect and basic manners. If you can't pay in one go you pay in several installments, but just saying "oops" and letting your friend sit on several thousands worth of damage you or your crotchspawns caused is a massive no no, and then expecting to return with these same kids so that they can cause more damage you won't pay for is even worse. Not surprised that someone who is single with two kids from two different fathers with none of them wanting to be involved would lack respect and manners though.

[@danielbrant6740]

So is nobody going to say anything about how the one friend who said that if Jessica slept with better guys, she might be able to afford a babysitter? I mean they weren't wrong, but there were _so many_ better ways to phrase that!😬

[@lorilancaster5917]

I’m wondering if that’s the same friend who doesn’t host because they flat out refuse to?

[@neverdateagamer1498]

You ruin my property and not even pay to replace it then I'll say whatever I want about you.

[@danielbrant6740]

@lorilancaster5917 If that is the case, this whole friend group is starting to look like terrible people.

[@stuartwalker9597]

@@danielbrant6740updates to the story is Jessica just dumps her kids at the gatherings on anyone else even though she is told no kids

[@kristashafer93098]

Come on. That was a pretty solid burn! I thought it was hilarious!!

[@darrowharden1817]

I like how somehow, the art supply story parents are the AH, but the bad mom basically gets a pass and OP is in the wrong for not wanting to deal with it and she's the bad friend

[@DaremoKamen]

Art supplies: One thing not covered in the story is, what about SIL turning her kids loose in someone else's home rather than parent them? Is this a regular habit of hers, or is OP just the lucky one?

[@MurphN7]

Second Story: There was actually an update, apparently wife's friend's home life was way worse than Op thought, and his wife was coordinating with her friend to get her and her daughter out, and the reason the wife blew up on Op so hard was because he told her he had enough on the same day she was going to ask if they could shelter her friend and daughter, anyway Op and his wife talked it out and her friend and daughter are living with them until the friend can find a place of her own and and they're helping her with getting a divorce from her abusive husband

[@Arob4343]

“You’re picking favorites!” “No Jim, YOU picked favorites. This is entirely the result of your own actions”

[@CooperGal24]

Story One: NTA Not ONLY had OP’s Brother FORCED his way into OP’s art room WITHOUT his permission, but ALSO tried to guilt trip OP because of his actions, ESPECIALLY when the Brother enabled his kids to break into OP’s art room and using HIS art supplies WITHOUT OP’s permission! ALSO, art supplies CAN be expensive. As an example, a pack of 120 coloring pencils costs somewhere around $20 a pack, and THAT’S from CRAYOLA, probably due to the pencil count! Plus, art supplies ARE considered as work tools for artists, especially when they work on commission pieces that people PAY for! So for people to make off-handed comments like “you pay too much for art supplies”, “art isn’t a REAL job!” Or even “who’s gonna pay for pictures that THEY can draw themselves?!”, because GOD KNOWS that people that complain about stuff like that NEVER drew anything for anybody or has a job as an artist, like a freelance artist. At least the brother FINALLY took responsibilities for his stupid decisions, but it took the threat of being written out of the will if he didn’t stay in the family meeting for the Brother to actually listen.

[@zilesis1]

nah, story 1 is ESH OP should have kepth their cool. they could have kicked the BIL and family out quetly without ruining their aunt's birthday. also, didn't OP say they yelled at the kids so hard they started crying? that' automatic AH points right there. no the right course of action would be to 1) firmly but gently and calmly take the supplies away from the kids 2) tell the kids they can't play in that room right now and guide them out then lock the door, then 3) find the parents, tell them what happened and go to the room together to assess the damage 4) if the parents start making excused and refusing to pay, camly but firmly tell them to leave then proceed with the small claims court that way, the outcome would have still been the same, but OP would have come out of the situation looking like much more of a better person to their family

[@DarkStarCoreX]

@@zilesis1 The kids are 7 and 8, that is old enough to know to not mess about with someone else's shit.

[@CooperGal24]

@@DarkStarCoreX Yeah, PLUS, OP had their door locked at all times whenever they’re not in that room. So maybe Brother found a way to unlock the door, THAT’S crossing boundaries!

[@CooperGal24]

@@zilesis1 So you’re just siding with the 7 and 8 year olds, who were taught by others to NOT touch or mess with their stuff, right? That makes you wrong. ALSO, OP’s Brother WASN’T doing anything to discipline his kids AND enabled their actions, because he didn’t do his job as a decent parent! Did you listen to the story, or did you just skim some of the parts? If the parents weren’t going to discipline their kids, someone else has to, and it’s the Brother’s families in this case! Mostly OP!

[@PinataFreaks]

5th story: If someone calls you the wrong name, don't ignore them. Call them the wrong name. People get pissed really quickly when you do that. I have a coworker called Axel. He often gets called Alex. Whenever that happens he quickly figures out a good way to say someone's name wrong until they either get mad at him or until they realize their mistake and correctly calls him Axel.

[@erima4270]

Story 4: you're wrong on this one Rslash, OP is NTA. It would be one thing if Jessica had well-behaved kids, but they're little monsters that Jessica doesnt even try to watch and who caused significant property damage. How did your opinion change so much from the art supplies story? Maybe OP could chip in for a babysitter or something (or the entire friend group could--especially the ones siding with Jessica). But OP is NTA for not wanting more property damage or the general distraction of bad kids being bad kids at what should be a fun event.

[@lillylovegood2300]

THANK YOU. Like. No, I mean, by this point I wouldn't much like having Jessica as a friend either. When she comes over with her kids, she actively makes others hold them so she can have a break? Bro, I get that you had kids with two separate deadbeats(and depending on their age, she's an ass for that too-) but then to be like "here. I'm here and don't want them." Don't offer replacement for a 5K couch. Like even if it's like "give me a couple years and I'll give you some money here and there till then." Maybe I was just raised in a mannered home. But you NEVER do that shit.

[@shykorustotora]

Exactly! The fact the kids were there once before means she bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway, then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@marjoriejohnston4905]

It was a different kid that hurt the dog. The couch situation was because the kid was SICK, not because it was being used as a canvas or something else. Totally different from the art supply mess

[@snaebjornah]

yeah owner is NTA, glad you mentioned the art supply story as owners went way harder against the parents there and Rslash agreed with the owners there but in story 4 with the friends group he went against the owner even after they looked past 5k damage Jessica didnt pay and kept inviting her to the gatherings with a rule that goes to all not just her. jessica gets 2/5 for blowing up and not being reasonable and try to find a work around or help with babysitting the kids so she could go, Rslash 1/5 for being mean to a reasonable person xD

[@jopun3691]

I was suprised to hear that she is a butthole anyway, like argument that she is a bad friend is in valid in my opinion. She got screwed by 2 guys got 2 children in her 20 and now shes a single mom these are her mistakes and her friends shouldnt be responsible for her mistakes. I understand that she wants a break, but using friends party to make orhers whatch over your kids is ass-hole move, also during that time kids destroyed 5000$ worth of property where in other story it was only 370$ like scale of demage is off the roof. And being single mom is not an excuse to be irresponsible. All i m saying is she should be responsible for her actions and her children, no one should give a fuck that she got children in that age ( also she got 2 from 2 other guys so she didnt lerned her lesson first time). I would give her 3.5/5 butthole for being irresponsible bad parent...

[@Zalera44]

You support someone 100% for suing family over

[@dovahkiin6488]

Yeah that didn't make any sense to me either

[@DarkStarCoreX]

Yeah... I think the stories are getting to him again if you ask me.

[@lancerevell5979]

Typical YT doublestandard.

[@alexalverez9532]

I love RSlash, but he does tend to be a white knight to a lot of women in these stories. Anyone remember the aunt that wanted to kidnap OP's daughter & he brushed it off & said she wouldn't try anything?

[@dovahkiin6488]

@@alexalverez9532 Oh man, yeah, I remember that. Was kinda disturbed from that ngl

[@VicGeorge2K6]

Why does the dad in the last story allow his future wife to disrespect his own daughter? Because he's more interested in the "passionate hugging" he's going to get with his future wife than truly love his daughter to know that she is hurt by her father allowing such a disrespectful woman to tread all over her boundaries like that.

[@lorilancaster5917]

And he’s likely thinking, “OP doesn’t stay here often and she’ll be off to college in a couple of years so I can keep my head in the sand for the time being.”

[@VicGeorge2K6]

@@lorilancaster5917 Which is just more evidence that he's thinking with the "wrong head".

[@GamerSapss]

Story one: I would say I partially agree with FIL about time and place for blowing up at BIL. She could easily wait for after the party to request all of these things, but it made 100% sense to tell the kids to stay out of her room. Also as said, 10/5 for the way the FIL handled it afterwards

[@tamsel814]

I think the ops fault was not trying to do something to make up for the drama at the party. it's just good manners to make it up to someone if you unintentionally hurt them. I'm glad they are doing something special now

[@Tustin2121]

Do you mean like “-10/5” for the FIL? Because scores in the context of AITA videos are about how bad someone is, not how good, and so 0 or less is better. Unless you very much think the FIL did the absolute wrong thing or something, idk.

[@anionleader]

​@@Tustin2121 i think they meant 20/10, FIL went above and beyond for OP

[@fdm2155]

Well, that's easy to say in hindsight but I think MOST people would be furious to have their privacy invaded, their work ruined and hundreds of dollars in personal property trashed all because a guest was too rude to simply ASK PERMISSION before turning their young children lose unsupervised in your home.

[@1musamune]

reread or relisten please OP is Male

[@damitafrost4228]

2nd story had an update. The Harper's mom left the guy, and they are now living with OP.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Last story: she's mad because even her family called her out, why isn't she using your real name? And no you didn't know she was talking to you because that's not your name, that would have been my response and it should be your response until she starts addressing you properly. Your father needs to step in to, he's letting his GF disrespect his daughter and apparently isn't doing anything about it.

[@TheoStarlight]

NTA on the first one. Professional Art supplies are expensive! Not all of them are meant to be used by kids. not to mention the ink is dangerous for young kids unlike what crayola would be. If a kid ingests any of those art supplies and gets sick, they’d blame OP for having those things in a LOCKED ROOM! They were locked for a reason!

[@lorilancaster5917]

However OP forgot to lock the room that evening. Regardless it wasn’t SILs place to tell the kids to go in the room and the kids are of age to know to ask OP or Amber first. They’ve been taught wrong by their parents. I was hoping they were at the meeting to apologize to OP and Amber for at least ruining their artwork.

[@zilesis1]

it wasn't locked on the day the kids got into it. Personally i think it depends on whether or not OP told the in-laws why the room had been locked before. If they knew what was in there and why kids should be kept away then OP is NTA If the in-laws didn't know what was in there then i can see why they'd be confused and upset at OP for yelling at their kids. i'll be honest, as someone who doesn't draw but knows people who do, expensive art supplies don't look any different from the cheap ones to an outsider. so if the in-laws weren't told beforehand about what was in there then from their pov OP was driving the kids to tears for quietly drawing in a room. if that's the case then ESH: OP should have calmly explained what went wrong insted of escalating and BIL should have talked things out after everyone calmed down

[@thespider2566]

@@zilesis1 I don't think it really matters whether they knew or not (though it's highly unlikely they didn't since several members of the family engaged in art as a hobby). You don't allow your children to use other people's belongings without asking, let alone destroy them as they were doing.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 4: I don't get it, why is OP a bad friend because she doesn't want kids in her house? I agree though she should stop inviting that's her saying if she doesn't like her all that much, but the reasoning does sound valid.

[@taylorpnw612]

Because she doesn't even like Jessica by her own admission. It's not nice to pretend to be somebody's friend and then exclude them every chance you get. Just stop pretending to be a friend. That's so incredibly unkind. Don't invite her since you clearly don't want her there, kids or not. The thing about the kids is a whole separate issue and I don't think OP is the AH for not wanting kids there. That's reasonable. However, because she already doesn't like Jessica, I would think of her as an unreliable narrator when it comes to what Jessica and her kids have done before. So I'd take even the $5000 couch story with a grain of salt. When you don't like someone, it's really easy to exaggerate their transgressions.

[@miraclepresley6978]

When has she excluded her? OP has stated repeatedly she doesn't want friends at her house. That's a boundary that she even broke for this shitty Jessica person. People who think it's okie to pass their children off to others are the real AH.

[@miraclepresley6978]

Children not friends*

[@thespider2566]

People have decided that OP doesn't like Jessica, so apparently everything OP says is a lie. Makes no sense to me, but that's how people reason.

[@neverdateagamer1498]

​@@thespider2566 they're also mad because she had an expensive couch

[@TheBluePhoenix008]

The no kids story: seems like it's a friend "group". I'm in many friend groups, I'm not close with _everyone_ in _every_ group. There's a few people I hate, but just tolerate them because we have mutuals. OP is 100% in the right to exclude her when Jessica just seems like a bad friend.

[@CrownedYeti]

Story 4: I disagree with you Rslash. Why should OP have to be a better friend when it seems like Jessica isn't a good friend either? and honestly having most people in the friend group agree with OP says a lot about Jessica as well. Jessica does need different friends who are on the same level of maturity and selfishness as her. She doesn't just seem bitter towards OP, she seems bitter towards the life situation that she put herself in.

[@dragonriderabens9761]

Is it just me or have Rslash’s bad takes gotten worse since he got back from vacation Less frequent, but when they do come up oh boy are they stinkers Case and point, story 4 where he completely ignores both the fact that OP’s dog is a major factor and how much of an entitled parent Jessica is, based on the last time she brought the kids over I agree that Jessica isn’t friends with OP at this point, but not because of anything OP did It’s 100% the consequences of Jessica’s actions

[@Acefdiamonds]

I completely agree like wtf I'm sensitive to sound I don't want kids I'll try to accommodate my friends but one thing I'll be firm on is simply no kids

[@scuba535]

I think the fact that he has a kid clouds his thoughts when it comes to stories like that.

[@Acefdiamonds]

@@scuba535 that can be it

[@alexalverez9532]

​@scuba535 not only that, but he tends to be a white knight to a lot of women who ARE the bad guys in some of these stories. Anyone remember the crazy sister that would pretend OPs daughter was actually HER daughter & OP & commenters were worried about kidnapping? RSlash said to just be more caring of the sister & I think OP got a butthole score

[@stuartwalker9597]

I like R/slash, I like his content but he has a lot of double standards and I am finding them off putting

[@ghostgirl7089]

Ohhh the first story hurts. Im an artist myself, and I know how expensive they can be. If some kids came in and ruined my copic marker collection, I’d cry. Its sad how people look down on artists still, being like “its just markers!!” Plus now I’m gonna check out chartpak markers ty OOP!

[@Juzokinnie]

I'm an artist as well and I literally do not allow anyone besides my father (who bought them for me and he mainly just wants to see what they're like out of curiousity) to touch my Copic markers.

[@Malta_]

lol what? no the 4th op is not the bad guy at all??? yes its the case that they dont like jessica so that makes it even more clear why they dont need to make exceptions/accommodate her? thats a WILD take that they are the bad guy. they dont have to host a person they dont like and one that doesnt seem to want to take in the full responsibilities of having a baby (taking care of the child and not expecting other people to help if they dont want to/ not pay or at least help clean the couch)

[@shykorustotora]

Exactly! The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway once before, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@dracko158]

Story 1: NTA. As an artist, albeit a digital one, this triggered me to my core. If someone destroys my art supplies and a drawing I was working on, I would be LIVID at them. BIL should know that professional art supplies is a thing and that's why expensive supplies like those markers are....expensive. What does he mean "it's stupid to pay that much" for markers and color pencils? HE isn't an artist, so he doesn't get to judge, OP does! Props to the FIL and the other SIL for being on OP's side though. Honestly, the FIL wanting to write BIL out of the will was such a power move, and it definitely knocked some sense into BIL.

[@Andesz2x4]

As another Andi who hates being called Andrea, I love the last story

[@lalimalik6614]

The AI thumbnails are getting more and more disturbing :D

[@impagain]

Story #2 has an update stating that the Mothers Day gift was the wakeup call that Harper's mom needed to realize that everything was so messed up in her life, because her daughter went to someone else's dad completely to get her mom a gift. OP's wife reacted so bad to that conversation because she had been about to ask OP if they could help be their escape plan, and she freaked out. OP clarified that his resentment was at the deadbeat and not at Harper, and not so much towards the mom. They now have an action plan to house them for now and help them get a place to live, and OP is much happier with this situation.

[@hmspretender]

Story 2: There was an update, turns out that there was so so much going on that OP didn't know about. This is just a brief over view: Turns out being a "deadbeat" was the LEAST of the "dad's" issues behind closed doors. OP and his wife ended up helping the 2 escape the situation by letting them move in with them.

[@lycos94]

nah, the OP in the no kids story is 100% NTA she has one rule, for several very good reasons, that doesn't make her an A at all but she should just be honest with herself and her ''friend'' that she doesn't really want her arounds, kids or not

[@shykorustotora]

The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway once before, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@aroh9632]

@@shykorustotora I read from updates that OP didn't bend the rules, Jessica just showed up with them while she was on the toilet. Then Jessica left the kids on the couch and did not care for them, she just wanted to "relax" (aka party) OP tried to get the couch professionally cleaned but it didn't work and buying a new one was cheaper than other methods. So yea, Jessica is a total AH and an absolutely entitled parents as well.

[@Jo-er6tw]

As an artist I can confirm that it SUCKS to have people mess with your art stuff, once I accidentally left an expensive and new set of brushes at my friends place. I went to collect them after like a day and it turns out their mom he’d let their younger cousins use them for arts and crafts, they were completely ruined and I was utterly distraught since my mom (who was just starting to recover from a serious illness at the time) had gifted them to me and I had tried to be so careful with them. She just shrugged it off with a “it’s just brushes” kinda excuse. I made sure to never leave any supplies at their place again. Art supplies are expensive and more than that they’re often very personal. Don’t mess with someone else’s stuff if you’re not ready to pay for the replacement!

[@anagonzalez8972]

Rslash on Story 1: "Your property was ruined and want to be paid for it? On your side, paying is the moral thing to do." Rslash on Story 4: "Your property was ruined and want to be paid for it? Bitter. Bad friend."

[@shadowmewfred09]

This isn't about "markers" this is about your bil and his families constant disrespect over you and your art supplies, also dam that was a good move by your FIL. Also you took the words right out of my mouth on the 2nd story Rslash everyone but op is being lazy.

[@francescaperron2003]

Story 3: Even if she was their bio mom she doesn't have to give away her ring. It's HER ring, she can do what she pleases with it

[@lorilancaster5917]

And she’s still keeping the ring in the family. His sister will get the ring.

[@Artretha]

That last story really pisses me off. Even if OP's name was short for Andrea, or anything else, Kate still needs to call OP by the right name. The fact that OP's name really is Andi, though, just makes Kate look even worse. It's not that hard to call someone by the right name.

[@JimLambier]

Not learning someone's name is a real sign of disrespect. I go by Jim but my legal name is James and that's what I have to use for tax forms for work. Despite repeatedly telling a new boss that I don't answer to James, she kept calling me that and even had my new email address set up that way. I was forced to use that damn email address for months because it wasn't worth her time to correct it. I was there for three months when I was let go as part of a layoff. Of course, when she called me into her office, she used the wrong name.

[@Artretha]

@@JimLambier Not bothering to learn someone's real name is incredibly disrespectful, and I'm sorry you had a boss like that. It sounds like she made it a pretty toxic work environment.

[@JimLambier]

@@Artretha Thanks. Definitely not a great place to work. In addition to the name thing, she once walked up to me, told me that I reminded her of her ex-husband and then just walked away. I can laugh about it now but at the time it freaked me out.

[@Artretha]

@@JimLambier Yikes, dude! Yeah, that would scare me a bit, too.

[@MissAyamiStroud]

The kid story: disagree. People with kids usually have the same opinions. You're protective of you're kids. I totally get it. But some people just...don't like kids and don't want them around. If that means sacrificing time with a friend or the friendship in general, so be it. It doesn't make the person that DOESNT like kids the AH.

[@roryqpotter8242]

I’m an artist, and recently inherited a bunch of expensive art supplies from my grandfather (RIP). If some kids ruined those supplies, I’d lose my SHIT! Plus I have supplies I’ve accumulated over years that are expensive too.

[@paranoiarpincess]

Oh my god. I'm an artist and this story reminded me of something that happened to me like 14 years ago! I lived with my now ex and his co-worker. My ex was friends with a couple that lived downstairs from our apartment who had a toddler. The mom was over with her child but, as with most of the people in that building complex... she was a kinda crap mom. I'm disabled and while they were over, I was in my room laying down. I heard the kid in the apartment but couldn't hear the mom and my ex (looking back I wouldn't be surprised if he was chearing on me with her) so I got worried for her safety. We didn't have any babyproofing, and she could have EASILY gotten into poisons and knives in the kitchen... but what actually happened sucked for me and had no consequence for the mom, go frickin figure. So I came out to see the little girl happily drawing, WITH A PEN, all overu sketchbook. She drew on nearly every page of my half filled book. This was back before I treated my sketchbooks more like scrap paper bound together, and had what at the time I considered my masterpiece works. I was pissed but instead of apologizing or finding a way to repay me somehow, I was yelled at for... get this... LEAVING MY OWN SKETCHBOOK OUT ON MY OWN TABLE IN *MY* HOUSE. I told my ex I didn't want them coming over anymore.

[@joshdillon9637]

The FIL in story one doesn't get a Bad Guy score. He gets a Badass score. 3/5 badasses. Edit to add: I think you really seriously borked your response do the "No kids" story, Rslash. OP did make an exception and let the kids over once. Jessica made them everyone else's problem AND they caused 5K in property damage, WHICH JESSICA DIDN'T PAY FOR. OP gets 0/5. Jessica gets 2.5/5 in my opinion.

[@RadiantAngel]

During the couch incident, the kids weren't even invited. Jessica snuck them in before OP could catch them.

[@IHeartGameplay]

People like Jessica are very frustrating to try to be friends with and are unfortunately pretty common. Now I personally don't care if you bring kids over even if I am child free but you need to understand that 1) prep is needed if a kid is coming and that can look like rearranging your entire house depending on the age 2) If your child destroys something, while the host should be reasonable and understand that kids are messy and expect it, you should absolutely pay for the damages 3) you can't push your child onto the other guests. They're not your baby sitter and it's not your place to come to a event where everyone is supposed to relax to then force them to parent your kid so that YOU can be the only one to relax 4) You need to put effort into your friendships and it doesn't matter if you're a parent. Relationships are work, and you are not owed friends especially if you do nothing but cross their boundaries, don't reciprocate the effort they put into having you in their lives, and have the audacity to complain when people don't just go along with your social mess ups. I get having a kid is hard but like come on. Don't expect to neglect your friends, treat them badly and like the hired help and then act as if you're the victim because "you're a parent".

[@crystalcrusader8832]

As an artistic person, the first story hits me in the heart. Dear God. Genuine art supplies are no joke. They may as well BE THE ART. Imagining my alcoholic markers frilled makes me shiver.

[@leohunter801]

The "Not my kid" story has an update, basically it explains that Harper was in a worse position than any of us really thought so OP and his wife talked it out apologized for what they both said and Harper is moving in temporarily

[@RealCoolstriker64]

Last story: NTA. Her kids caused $5000 in damages that she refused to pay, and now she’s surprised that her kids aren’t welcome?

[@maggierex5675]

Story #1: NTA it doesn't matter they are markers, they damaged property and owe to cover the costs Story #2: NTA OP is not Harpers dad nor should he have to be. Thats not fair to OP

[@thegameplayer125]

it's nice hearing rslash say butthole again on the aita vids again. so much better than bad guy

[@GamerSapss]

On the fourth story: Yeah OP is a bad friend to Jessica. And so would I be in that situation, as well as there being multiple aspects that makes it a NTA on OP's part. First is what Jessica's kid ruining the couch. Accident or not, it would make sense for Jessica to try and fix the situation, but it seems like it didn't. I would have a grudge against Jessica for this as well Second, Among the friend group, OP makes it seem like one of the friends is just not letting them spend time there, but have the ability to do so. Why is it only OP that has to have the gatherings? Third, Jessica keeps expecting others to watch her kids during these outings, that is not their job. I will agree on the comment on two things: OP is making excuses to be surround themselves with them, and Jessica needs a different friend group. Both of these can be true without OP being an AH. None of these seems like a red flag that OP is someone I wouldn't hang out with, but instead that I don't want to hang with Jessica, nor the friend saying she needed to bang better guys. The friend group in general just doesn't sound fun to hang out with from this description. OP herself is even saying "I don't like Jessica that much" but I am assuming it's a thing of she's afraid this will ruin the friend group that she does enjoy to hang with, as it might be a "It's all of us or none of us"

[@olly8233]

I'm a little surprised Rslash didn't recognize how obviously entitled Jessica is. She doesn't need better friends, she needs to BE a better friend. she's the only one with kids but they still try to include her, even AFTER causing damage to OP's house. all they did was set a VERY REASONABLE boundary and provide alternatives that don't include having children at their house (which is understandable, especially after they already destroyed an expensive couch).

[@ZombieSazza]

Story 2, NTA: it sucks that your wife’s friend is over all the time with her kid, and whilst I understand her friend obviously needs support as she’s essentially a single mother with a deadbeat husband who doesn’t care to father his own child, it’s not healthy. Her friend and her child are in your home all the time, you’ll be paying for them to eat in your home, you don’t get any real privacy, you don’t get any real time to yourself, you’re expected to take friends child everywhere as if you were own and have never been asked to help, just told “oh take friends kid too”. Your wife’s friend is relying on you too much, your wife is expecting too much as this has never been properly discussed. Wife’s friend has her own home but isn’t there very often because of problems with her husband, but also hasn’t left him, is expecting to dump some of her childcare duties onto you, and it’s just selfish and unfair, especially to the kid who has no idea why her mum pawns her off to others, or why her dad doesn’t care at all, or why her dad would rather drink all day instead of caring. It’s unhealthy, will lead to horrible resentment, will lead to a strained marriage in your own home which then creates a tense environment around your own child (who definitely sense when something is wrong at home), and for some reason isn’t being addressed AT ALL. I say this as a child abuse survivor who’s childhood best friend is my unofficially adopted sister, her mother saw the abuse happening, saw how much love my friend and I had for each other as best friends, and she had me round several days a week at her home, helped me where she could, fed me regularly and got me to help out with household chores. She chose to take me in and treat me as one of her own kids, I became the unofficially adopted kid who is still loved by my adoptive family and I cherish them wholeheartedly. My adoptive mam didn’t feel forced to take me in, I wasn’t pushed on her by a friend who wanted to pawn her kid off, and I wasn’t round the house every night and every weekend. So I understand massively that the mother might need extra help, but she’s also doing nothing to help her own situation by staying with a man who’s drinking all the time and doesn’t help or contribute to the upbringing of his daughter, who doesn’t offer money to help pay for food costs, outings etc, and instead of kicking him out of her home and living as a single mother she avoids her home to instead invade yours. NTA OP, it’s incredibly unfair to expect you to constantly accommodate your wife’s friend and child, especially at the cost of being able to bring up your own child without disruption.

[@fen_scrawl04]

as someone who also spends a lot of time on artwork like the op from story 1 , i would have reacted similarly, while my supplies aren't as expensive, i still value them a lot and would be crushed if someone destroyed them. but if pieces i drew got damaged, similarly to the pieces that op and their partner were working on . i would have lost it . with all the time and effort put into that specific piece being ruined.

[@shykorustotora]

Question on the Jessica and kids story: What did OP actually DO that makes her the AH? No one actually said what she DID to be an AH. Did I miss something? Or you guys just hypocrites??

[@MinusTheCoffee]

If it was a father in the couch story doing the same thing rslash would of roasted him alive. Calling him a deadbeat dad and a loser for pawning his kids off onto other people and not taking responsibility for the couch. But because it’s a single mum it’s okay I guess.

[@PhoenixInFirestadium]

Kids destroy about several k of art supplies - rSlash: I'm on your side, OP! Kid destroys 5k couch - rSlash: Meh, you're a bad friend! Also OP said she doesn't like kids and as a person who chose to live childfree for a reason I'm mad thinking about someone forcing their kids on me to basically babysit or at least springs the responsibility on me to cater to their needs. If you never signed up for this kind of lifestyle you don't deserve a butthole score when you set clear boundaries. Also OP already bent the rule and it cost a 5k couch! RSlash basically tells OP to endure it and be a doormat.

[@VladSicoe]

In the no kids story, OP has every right to feel bitter. I mean, Jessica's kid ruined a very expensive couch. It would have been okay if she would have offered to pay for a new one, but in this case, she didn't. So, yeah, I don't think that OP is the a-hole. Sure, her tactic of excluding Jessica is a bit petty and maybe childish, but she has every right to feel that way.

[@Acefdiamonds]

Wdym tactic people seem to forget that op has a dog that's afraid of kids

[@scuba535]

Op didn’t exclude her though… she was still invited without the kids. Just because someone can’t find childcare and can’t go to something doesn’t mean they were excluded. I have a feeling that going forward she will be excluded.

[@ruthhadfield9726]

its not like she knocked over a drink....the child was sick....kids go down hill so quickly....my son threw up once on the bus....was perfectly fine before...OP is an AH

[@VladSicoe]

@@ruthhadfield9726 with all due respect, no, she is not. She said that the last time Jessica passed her kid to someone else so she can relax. She did not supervise him, and that's why he puked all over the couch. You don't bring your kid to someone's house if that someone doesn't want kids around. Plus, the fact that Jessica didn't contribute to a new couch is very shitty.

[@RadiantAngel]

​​@@ruthhadfield9726 The kid wasn't even invited when the puking incident happened. Jessica snuck the kid in when OP was in the bathroom (this is mentioned in later edits and comments on the Reddit post).

[@2MeterLP]

If someone does something you can sue them for, they are always the butthole for doing said thing, never you for sueing.

[@miraclepresley6978]

Hard disagree with the Jessica and her kids situation. She is all the way not the AH here. Why should OP have to keep breaking her rule for someone who pushes their kids on others and doesn't take accountability for stuff her kids ruin? It's not OP's job to do that and the fact thst she has in past makes her a much better friend than Jessica actually deserves.

[@cheri1687]

Op should have cut Jessica as a friend after the couch incident. She's not singleing her out, no kids means no kids. If I had the rule of no kids in my house, an one of my siblings brought them over when it's supposed to be adults only party/get together. I'd tell them the same thing OP told Jessica

[@jo-annbastings]

About the ‘No Kids’ story, OP is NOT the a**hole at all! It’s her house, her rules. I cannot blame her to have resentments about Jessica’s crotch goblins after what happened during their previous visit. I don’t understand rSlash why you belittling OP. I would have done the same exactly thing being at her place.

[@HobieInTheBox]

I think his point is that OP needs to be honest about the fact she doesn't wanna be Jessica's friend

[@shykorustotora]

Exactly! The fact the kids were there once before means OP bent her rules and let Jessica come with the kids anyway once before, but then the couch got ruined and Jessica threw OP under the bus and left her with a 5K bill. Now Rslash is like "You're the AH for not being a good friend and singling her out" .. WTF?? Absolutely not, completely wrong take on that story Rslash

[@tailsofchaos]

​@@shykorustotora Remember that it's also other people that's gonna have different opinions not just Rslash alone. Especially in the comments here now of saying op deserves a little score

[@shykorustotora]

@@tailsofchaos Its pretty well known that Rslash will sometimes use the comments to see which way the wind blows, thinking he can't go wrong if he just goes in the same direction... This time it wasn't hard to come to a decision, OP is NTA. But Rslash did a complete 180 whiplash from what he actually read

[@tailsofchaos]

@@shykorustotora It still doesn't take away what I say. Different opinions is still around on reddit and here

[@MrKingArthurhk]

Op should just go on a vacation, leaving the wife in the guest room while she is being petulant, Harper’s mom, and dead beat dad to figure it out. See if the Three Stooges can figure it out after two weeks of sun and sand.

[@TheWolfHound7777]

No Kids story: If you cannot afford a babysitter Do. Not. Have. Kids.

[@Xarosai]

Ikr... People are fucking dumb!! "Let's have kids even though we know we won't be able to afford it and we'll have a miserable life together because of it!" 🤦‍♂

[@RadiantAngel]

Or at least don't make them other people's problem during outings. I get babysitters can be expensive, but they're just the parent's responsibility.

[@daveywasyliszyn960]

Second story had an update. Jennifer was being abused by her husband and was scared to go home. She was threatened that if she left her husband would force himself on the daughter. Once OP realized that, he took initiative to help Jennifer and Harper move in with them full time

[@loonywolf_art]

Rslash, dear, I will draw you a free thumbnail, just please don't use AI, it look bad

[@ryaniko94brglowingkitty68]

Looks so freaking terrible

[@flazzorb]

Story 1: Am I wrong, or did OP say he _locked_ the art room? If he did, it makes it so much worse. Story 2: OP seems to be a bit of an exhausted saint being bullied by a pair of wine moms because _some other guy_ is a deadbeat father. Story 3: That guy needs to make up his mind on if OP is his family or not. Story 4: [Side note: I've always heard Andrea pronounced like An-drey-ah] Rslash has it right, intentionally disregarding someone's actual name is beyond the pale of a respectful relationship.

[@bobthekow7547]

For the last story, she may be calling OP Andrea to belittle the meaning of Andy. It’s OP’s maternal grandfathers name, so it might be a power play on the stepmoms part

[@KimmieArgyshev]

The hosting story...I agree with OP. it's also her dog's house, and the dog is affraid of kids. So the dog has to be put in another room, while we all know that dogs LOVE to be involved in everything because someone has kids?? WHY should she have to give in to something she is not comfortable with, just because someone has kids? I find it so weird that people have to accomondate other people's kids. If the kids are well behaving and the mom herself watches them....sure we can talk, but if you have little unhinged brats and you try to push them on others...nope absolutely not. I don't fully understand why the person who wrote "Jessica needs new friends" considers Jessica to be the one who is treated poorly?

[@Erebus04]

Story 1: Hell of a power move from the FIL and I love it Story 3: The entitlement of the stepson, to think he can treat the OP like crap but still get a heirloom, I wonder who he got that from Story 5: if the Step Mom won't show the OP to respect of calling them by their legit name then the OP doesn't have to show respect and listen to the step mom

[@Zaeroxxor]

Jessica and the couch : OP isn't a Bad Guy at all. OP is totally right to refuse children, if she doesn't like them there is no reason to force herself.

[@roseschulte]

OP sounds like they aren't the good friend???? Jessica literally ruined a 5k couch and didnt pay for it. No way dude, Jessica makes her kids everyone elses problem, and those are the people who don't make good friends.

[@sunnivamhagatun]

as a traditional artist, i feel so much for op of the first story. it costs a lot of money to buy art supplies, but it’s worth it because it’s a passion!

[@callanightshade8079]

Exactly!

[@blanche1101]

love your content rslash! really hate the AI thumbnails though ):

[@ryaniko94brglowingkitty68]

Looks like eldritch shit 😅

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

As an artist I am horrified by what these people let their children do. I would be beyond livid! Quality art supplies are horrifyingly expensive.

[@beccas.7762]

I'm not an artist, but I was raised to ask before using anything that isn't my own. Like seriously, those brats and their parents are worthless.

[@kimhohlmayer7018]

@@beccas.7762 I agree.

[@d.phantomfan1216]

Story 1: my guess is when BIL heard markers and crayons pencils, his mind went to the cheap ones you buy at Walmart. But the professional ones are a lot more expensive, pretty much every cheap art supply you've ever seen has a professional version of it that cost an arm and a leg. Even if it was cheap though who lets their kids are going to someone else says room and have added with their stuff, you shouldn't have to lock the door they keep gets out honestly. Well I'm glad everything worked out BIL would never be allowed in my house again after that no matter what FIL does. The only person that deserved an apology in the situation was on because your outbursts ruined her birthday, but I would put all of this on BIL.

[@zilesis1]

idk, i thik BIL was wrong in the aftermath, but not in the immediate reaction, if that makes sense? OP admitted they screamed at the kids and got them to cry. most parents would freak out and go into defensive mode at that. so i can't blame BIL for yelling back at OP and getting into a fight at the party. Though i can blame BIL for not contacting OP later to talk it out once everyone has calmed down, and for trying to avoid repayment

[@chrisreed26]

The lady who has a no kid policy is not bad at all! The lady who let her kid destroy her $5K sofa and NOT pay for it has no right to expect to ever be allowed back again! Dabney is wrong on this one! She is not a bad friend to have! How is it bad to expect others to respect your home?I would not want a brat in my home that ruined my expensive furniture either!