r/AmITheA**hole Father Tells Daughter "Get a REAL JOB" Or He's Throwing Her Out

[@thenecroticraptor8338]

Story 1: Let me rephrase; _"Am I the asshole for threatening to evict my hard working, college-student daughter because I can't be bothered to care enough about her?"_

[@Mewse1203]

EXACTLY! That is the best summary ever.

[@missluciddreams3472]

THIS 🌟

[@robertx8020]

I don't think that OP is an AH but that is just because AH would not be a strong enough word! I would say egocentric tiran!!

[@drukerus]

Yes

[@malimillions]

Yeah. He comes off as greedy as well. A ‘real’ job. Smh.

[@mbyerly9680]

I've heard horror stories about someone taking an engagement ring and shoving it on their fat finger, and they supposedly can't take it off. The ring then magically disappears. One victim of this told the woman either you pull the ring off, or I'm taking you to the emergency room to have it surgically removed. The woman took it off.

[@BronzeDragon133]

I have horror stories of my disordered cousin who pulled crap like this all the time. Never show anything to him, it went into his pocket. Post his stint in jail, I simply told him, "One call to the cops and you're back in the hoosgow. Return that or..." and then followed up with some very graphic language I won't repeat. He returned it. Post that, I never remove a ring, or my electronic watch that monitors and records my heart rhythm. You can see it, but it's medically necessary and cannot be removed for that reason (really, it's not a big deal; I usually know if I'm having a problem and can work with it and the watch isn't that expensive or needed).

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "My wife says my daughter is trying her hardest and is obviously exhausted but I didn't pick up on it so clearly it's not that obvious and I'm right 😌" man I sure hope OP isn't surprised when she moves out again and only contacts her mom after this.

[@cuteizombi6946]

Right?

[@emilyrose9854]

The idiot just said that his wife is at home all day what is he doing is he at work all day all I'm thinking is he's obviously not paying attention because to him the only progress he values is something physical such as money being put in his hands I wonder if he's one of those Penny Pinchers somebody who doesn't do anything for nothing if he can treat the benefits of something then he's not involved or interested and you would think that kind of person wouldn't have a family you'd be wrong they're the types that love making families and then loves to make them miserable for not somehow making their own lies easier that how dare much he'll make me sacrifice so much time and energy to make sure they have a roof over their heads clothes on their backs and food in their belly and not do every little thing I tell them to like a servant I want to say it's like tiger parenting at least it branches off from that because both parenting Styles and I don't like using that term when talking about this is all about pushing your children to the Limit and trying to reap the benefits somehow it's very selfish parents who practice tiger parenting think that they're doing good by their kids to make sure that they stay out of trouble and focus on their education but they do it often from a place of I did this or I should have done that so you're going to have to do it for me basically living vicariously through them but they don't have to deal with the hardship they just have to be the authority figure and they like it they like having that power

[@jackspring7709]

True.

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Her mom and her new husband (who actually involves his spouse in major life decisions).

[@bloodmoon0205]

I'm hoping mom dumps dad and leaves with daughter

[@karab7626]

I work a similar job to that daughter only I get paid weekly. My husband tried the "real job" bit on me at one point. I told him "Ok I'll get a different job but that means you will have to pay for child care or leave work early every day to pick up our daughter after school." My current job allows me to go pick her up without affecting my pay and have her in my office after school and on days she doesn't have school. He did the math and realized he was being stupid. This dad is also being stupid and needs to grow up.

[@awwmandac2556]

I can’t imagine the amount of audacity and entitlement someone would have to have to try on an engagement ring WITHOUT permission. And then to try and take it off when she’s wearing it????? Oh hell no, absolutely not. Throw the whole coworker away.

[@janet6421]

This looks like a job for HR to deal with. Report now before she has time to spin this.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

@@janet6421 My thoughts exactly. That whole situation needs to have HR involved before the entitled co-worker has a chance to poison the well.

[@mattblood4201]

HR 100%

[@freethebirds3578]

"But you SAIDI could have it!!!!"

[@fate_clotho9596]

"Oh, it looks SO GOOD on my hand, doesn't it, OP?! I think YOU should let ME have it! Especially since it works SO well with my hand!"

[@babyfarkmcgee-zax3785]

Wait a minute. The daughter is so motivated and kickass that she's gotten funding for research? Wow, her dad is such an unreasonable tool.

[@thislookslikepatrick5070]

That's what I thought when I heard about the funding, this man's a tool.

[@azadalamiq]

iirc that masters level chemistry.. like post grad stuff. my bf when to college fir chemistry and help post grades with their lab research. he just got his bachelor's. mainly cuz his last year was shitty due to forced electives and shit teachers.

[@songohan3321]

I must add the only reason she had to move back in is because of Covid-19 and the lab she was working in closed down.

[@xElvirax]

He is the kind of parent that will wonder why she doesn't talk to him in 5 years

[@Sherwoody]

@@xElvirax he’ll wake up one morning and find that his wife is also someone he won’t see in five years.

[@bilbybloom]

The father from story 1 is the type to post again in 5 years with "My daughter doesn't want me to be at her wedding and I cant understand why. I have always provided financially for her and i thought i was a good father who taught her respect, but apparently not!"

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

💯

[@fcold9402]

1. So, the daughter is paying rent, she just needs a delay to pay because she is also going to school. This kid is not sitting back and partying and wasting her life, she is investing time and effort for a better life later. A better life that no doubt would benifit you. I suggest you keep investing because bailing now will only result in your own failure....I'm sure she will eventually overcome your withdrawal of support, but you will not.

[@bwill887]

What a dumb question, the reason he didn't realize his daughter's stress is clearly because he isTA, it isn't even up for debate. He is ignoring the work his child is putting in and minimizing her achievements. Funny his wife sees the effort the daughter is putting in and the OP probably poisoned his marriage with his blindness. The daughter is going to school and working, yet OP wants her to get a real job to pay rent 'now.' Once she graduates, OP will be surprised when she cuts him off fully. His actions are bordering on sabotage. He is an absolute idiot and needs to beg for forgiveness now, before it goes further south.

[@fcold9402]

@@bwill887 What question?

[@ceeshnia]

@@fcold9402 I think they may have meant the original "AITA" question, as it's glaringly obvious.

[@carolroberts4614]

The question I think was why didn't he pick up on her exhaustion like the mother did.

[@fcold9402]

@@carolroberts4614 Ah, then he is correct that does seem like a dumb question. The daughter is clearly working her butt off (including at a job she is going to be paid for) so telling her to "get a job", like she is sitting around having a good time, is not helpful.

[@valpal127]

Story 2: she’s obviously jealous of it. One of these days she will steal that ring the second OP let’s her guard down.

[@gelasiakidd8076]

I looked up story 1: his comments had more context. He is not a good man. But one of his comments says he's gonna apologize and that's..progress

[@cryptiecreep]

Do you mind if I ask, what info did the comments dig up?

[@johannaweichsel3602]

@@cryptiecreep I think he tried to excuse his behavior by saying he was conservative 🤦

[@cryptiecreep]

@@johannaweichsel3602 oh Lord

[@gelasiakidd8076]

@@cryptiecreep yeah the other comment was correct. He was saying he was conservative and lived in south africa and just didn't understand times were different. Little bit of hope he tries to change , tho. If this was his first reality check and he's willing to try. Still. It was messed up and the follow up comments are people from the same area calling him out. He's upperclass for the area and unemployment is insane. Ranges between 30-50%, cause its inaccurate. So the daughter probably couldn't even apply for a job.

[@Valstrax69]

@@johannaweichsel3602 that's not a reason to be an asshole, especially to your flesh and blood. If she stopped talking to him, I would understand.

[@WolframKKM]

Story 1: "I haven't noticed my daughter is at her wits end trying to manage school and work, therefore she must not be working hard." Self-centered much? I love how OP doesn't have the awareness to see fault in his own lack of emotional intelligence. It's everyone else's fault. I'm also kind of suspect of that school's set up. When I was a TA, we got paid twice a month like any other university employee. It's really unfair and risky for students to only get paid once a semester.

[@jackspring7709]

I couldn't believe that comment, either. What a muppet.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

Someone else posted above that he replied and said they live in South Africa. Maybe things like that are different. Especially with the pandemic.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Different countries have different customs. Up until just a couple of decades ago in Britain, at least in the rural areas, rent was paid on "Quarter days." That meant that everyone paid their rent every three months, not every month. I've read about college students who work for their college/university getting paid once a semester, so twice a year. They have to budget extremely carefully to make their semester stipend stretch the entire semester, but that's not unusual for countries outside the US.

[@WolframKKM]

@@bunnyslippers191 That's interesting. I'm not from the US though, so it must really depend where you are. I also worked a second part-time job at that time, in lieu of having any kind of social life, and I would imagine that might be a necessity for some in these situations.

[@topazblu6209]

I got paid once a month when I worked at my college some years ago. I thought it was just students working on campus, but it was everyone at the school. Pretty much explained why majority of the staff had more than one job. I'm in the US btw.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 2: NTA. Seeing your ring doesn't require it to be on her finger.

[@songohan3321]

I could feel the awkwardness of OP when some random person keep wanting to put on someone else's engagement ring and then get mad whenyousay no. That person was just crazy.

[@tamsinmoore2111]

Like we're taught as kids 'you see with your eyes, not your hands'. (Possible exception for the blind.)

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

I am suspicious that she may either try and steal it or try to emotionally manipulate OP into giving it to her.

[@samantha1102]

When I heard the story I thought she was going to say she tried it on and it got stuck

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 2: who just puts on somebody else’s jewelry like that? Especially something that is so significant as an engagement ring, and then to say how good it looks on her? And then to pull it off her finger?? WTF. Does she have trouble with social boundaries? I can’t imagine anyone but someone who doesn’t know proper boundaries doing this.

[@babycakez8070]

Lol his daughter basically doing 2 full time job, and ask to pay rent on an different cycle. What makes OP think he not the AH?

[@mkuti-childress3625]

Because he’s so insensitive that he didn’t notice how horrible this has been to her, especially during a pandemic? I actually LOL’d when he asked why he hadn’t noticed if she was so stressed. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@furyberserk]

@@mkuti-childress3625 I doubt it's because he's incensitive but ignorant. Come from the perspective of a fulltime job you didn't go to college for. Being an assistant and not getting paid is pretty much volunteering and a thesis is just an exaggerated essay. Consider it from that perspective and it would look like helping friends and paperwork that could be done in a day let alone a week. Again, moreso ignorrance. My personal perspective is similar. My hs project was a 22 page single spaced essay on something about children. I collectively did that in 2 months and was full of limited research and fluff bs. I know a thesis is worse, but I was bsing most of it. Calling a thesis a full time job is hyperbolic to me, but again ignorance.

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

@@furyberserk yes, you are ignorant. Phd level Thesis on literature & social science subjects are hard enough. But thesis upon a science subject (she used to work in a lab) is not a walk in the park. Don't compare your HS project with a PhD thesis, she gets funding for that. If it is good enough it can get published in a journal. Your HS teachers had to pass you even if your project lacked substantial material. Her thesis can get fully or partially rejected if there are problems. Also she earns money from her job as a teaching assistant & also from her PhD funding. But the funds are not given on a monthly or weekly basis. Thus she couldn't pay the rent at that moment. But will be able to pay once she receives the funding.

[@gilesclone]

What a terrible father. Hope he’s ready for a lifetime of no contact.

[@J_e_s_s]

I'm suspicious that the chick found a ring that looks alike and was gonna pull an ol' switcharoo to get the real one. I'm also paranoid.

[@jdhashbrown]

Didn't even consider a "switcharoo" but yeah... total possibility. I'd get the ring insured, or just start wearing a costume jewelry duplicate.

[@cupidsbow517]

1st story: I love how he didn’t even have a conversation with his wife before asking their daughter for rent. OP doesn’t seem to think of anyone else, does he? :)

[@15oClock]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/g2TInn2EoLKgpKM

[@leegraves8878]

Well from the sounds of it he is the one paying all the bills.

[@cupidsbow517]

@@15oClock Okay that made me giggle 🌝

[@cupidsbow517]

@@leegraves8878 Even if he WAS the one paying all the bills, this about more than money.

[@leegraves8878]

@@cupidsbow517 Not really she is 24 she is an adult and as an adult should be able to take care of herself.

[@thedestroyasystem]

Story 1: "if her exhaustion was so obvious, why didn't I pick up on it?" Hmm, I dunno. Maybe because you don't care enough about your daughter to pay attention to her emotional needs? Just a thought. YTA, buddy. Big time.

[@Doublemonk0506]

Dude's so dense that he would form a black hole if he gained a few more pounds

[@brittlebonesghost1226]

hey you seem super cool man and just from your user, we have a lot in common. if you want to hmu, I have a snap and discord! just lmk!

[@hannahchesson5851]

story 3, obviously someone with an iud doesn’t want to be pregnant, so the doctor shouldn’t be excited

[@dingoatemychild1]

he was trying to make light of a bad situation

[@kristelneedtoknow3207]

He needs to read the friggin room. That Dr. Is what many call book smart but people stupid.

[@trinitylane2202]

OP in the first story is one of those parents who are shocked when their child goes no contact with them. He sounds like a sociopath who has no empathy or understanding of what someone else is going through.

[@brianna_lynch]

In story 3, the doctor is the asshole, not OP. Saying “congratulations” was very inappropriate.

[@wildfyah]

1st op is the type to sabotage their kids then wonder why they can't do any better. My family is like this

[@golden_leader9227]

Story 1: i didn't know that you stop being a parent when your child (who's studying AND working) reaches the age of 18. Wow. YTA in every dimension.

[@Davtwan]

“If it was, why didn’t I pick up on it?” Well OP, it might be due to the death that you’re an unempathetic and oblivious father who jumps the gun before looking into anything. If you keep not looking before you leap, then you might fall into an apartment with no wife.

[@sylvestercat1898]

Coming up next on My Strange Obsession: a young man named Mark can’t stop looking at MLM FaceBook pages.

[@MarkNarrations]

Lol 🤣🤣

[@kristy6703]

OP is also the AH for making a decision about their child/household without discussing it with his wife first.

[@puli_dreadhead]

Story 3. NTA. It would be inappropriate to celebrate an unplanned pregnancy when the woman is not happy about the news. She’s in a stable relationship but what if she wasn’t and birth control was her way to prevent any connections to an abusive situation. Having a doctor automatically talk about how cool it is to have a faulty implant malfunction get stuck in a newborn is terrifying. Doctor needs to freshen up on his bedside manners skill.

[@amywilson9591]

I would never just grab someone’s engagement ring. Even I wanted to see the detail more closely, I’d ask if I could. I wouldn’t try to pull it off someone’s finger either I’m protective of all my rings because I collect them. I’d be even more protective of an engagement ring. I don’t know what world this women is living in

[@janet6421]

I am trying to see this from her perspective but I'm not flexible enough to fit my head that far up my own @$$

[@sianchild]

That doctor was definitely in the wrong. He should have taken his cue from the patient. What if she'd been in an abusive relationship or terrified, and he shut down her chance to ask for other options?

[@ilbercgross4736]

I once saw a baby born with the IUD on its back, isn't that cool. Ummm... WTF? At least talk to the doctor. Off of that interaction you can decide if reporting him warranted. Maybe he is a great doctor that has a problem with inner monologue. It is a real problem that people have and cannot control most of the time. I doubt it though in this case.

[@rylashadow18]

For story number 2 I'd just look her in the eye as I call up security and tell them she has taken my ring without asking/ was trying to take my ring off my finger. Then file that with HR as a complaint. Watch how fast she tries to play the "I didn't know any better" Card and tell them you've told her before not to touch *your* engagement ring and if she's caught anywhere near the vacinity of your desk ever again security will be called for her attempted theft every time and filed with HR. Have fun having that on your record Karen.

[@ComaLies225]

1. Wow, I didn’t know having lenient hours and being paid after every semester didn’t constitute as a real job. Christ mate, does this man have no awareness how stressed his daughter is????

[@susanlayton2143]

Listening to how OP talked about his daughter in story 1 made me LIVID, OMG it doesn't even sound like he likes his daughter all that much. If he can't see what it obvious to her mother (and more than likely others), OP is either clueless or just a complete AH.

[@itsjustme7487]

I vote for AH.

[@agentzapdos4960]

Nah, just a typical heterosexual, Conservative-leaning man.

[@JokerFan27299]

@@agentzapdos4960 What's the difference between them, lol?

[@agentzapdos4960]

@@JokerFan27299 Zing!

[@muppetsrule1143]

Story 3, NTA. When I was pregnant I went in, they did the labs and ultrasound. No one said congrats because I was in such a shock. It wasn't until I mentioned that we hadn't been really trying but not taking precautions just didn't think it would happen this soon. Read the room

[@dream6562]

No, it's YTA the doctor did nothing against their practices, all they made was a generic comment on the revelation

[@muppetsrule1143]

@@dream6562 unless you know how the patient is going to take the news, don't congratulate them.

[@fionamasters1822]

So the father doesn't want to wait for her rent that he knows will be coming after the semester. "I want it now because you are lazy" wow

[@patriciaalastre2546]

This is a big cultural shock for me parents charging rent to their children

[@leegraves8878]

At 24 really? Do you expect "kids" to live free what til 50 or 60?

[@chainsreacting]

Same, the only time in my family a child was forced to pay rent was when they were clearly not doing anything with their lives. When my uncle got remarried and his stepson moved in rent free he was only kicked out because he taking advantage. When he got a job and proved he was trying he was able to move back in until he saved enough for his own apartment. His daughter's now whenever they need a place to stay they cam always go home no problems.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@leegraves8878 Lol no? No one was saying that. But if they have a job, and are studying, and due to a GLOBAL PANDEMIC can't afford to pay monthly (but can afford to pay!) then their parents should help them out.

[@leegraves8878]

@@thedestroyasystem At 24 really? No at 24 if you haven't figured out that bills need to be paid and have a job that pays you every 6 months it is time to find a different job. Look it is great that she is getting whatever degree but you do it as an adult when you can afford too. But letting the institute take advantage of you is on them not their parents.

[@thedestroyasystem]

@@leegraves8878 Like I said, she literally CAN pay the bills, just not monthly. Her parents are (supposed to be) supporting her so she can have a better life. Would you say they should just kick her out bc sHe'S aN aDuLt? As a parent it's their job to help their child(ren) succeed. She is working to better herself and aren't causing any negative side effects on her parents, so it should be fine.

[@JayeEllis]

Story 3: NTA - That is way beyond the bounds of professionalism AND decency. I would report.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 3: NTA. Yes, report the doctor. He KNEW you had an IUD and said congratulations IN SPITE of that. A person who gets an IUD ABSOLUTELY does not want to be pregnant! Under what circumstances is this a happy pregnancy? But in general, you are not supposed to congratulate a person with a positive pregnancy test! Even if they don't have any kind of medical birth control on record. You do not know their circumstances or how they got pregnant! The person could have become pregnant through sexual violence and the pregnancy may be a horrific revelation. Maybe the person used other methods of contraception and they failed and they do not want to be pregnant? What if there is a medical reason that a pregnancy can be difficult to impossible to carry out? What if their financial situation cannot support a pregnancy and child? What if life circumstances mean this is not an ideal time to become pregnant? Not all pregnancies are happy events! This doctor has terrible bedside manner if he doesn't get that. His words could seriously hurt or traumatize someone if the pregnancy is an unhappy event. Yes, OP may have only been slightly upset and his comments weren't world ending for her, but she needs to report him so he doesn't make the same comments to someone who can be seriously hurt by them. He needs to be informed that he cannot make comments like that. Everyone calling OP the asshole because "it wasn't that bad" is failing to see the bigger picture. Although, I have known ever since I was a kid that you always get two pregnancy tests because false positives/negatives are a thing. OP is a mom of two - did she really not know false positives are a thing? That doesn't make her the asshole, just a bit dense. But I have to wonder how dumb the doctor and tech were for not realizing she wasn't pregnant after doing an ultrasound? I'm not an ultrasound tech but is it really possible to fail to see the embryo in the time a pregnancy test can (correctly) detect a pregnancy?

[@immortalsofar5314]

Not an MLM but the trigger for the end of my marriage was when my ex signed up for an over-priced vacuum cleaner that her son had been roped into selling - typical hire a sales force, get them to sell to family and friends (for "practice") then replace and repeat. It was the fact that I didn't find out until she backed out that was a massive betrayal of trust.

[@idalarsson6417]

Story 3: Holy fuck! She should absolutely report him! That is such obvious misconduct! I don't think the doctor should be fired, but disciplined an educated about how to handle this type of situation.

[@actuallynotsteve]

I love that he says "well it can't be THAT obvious because if it was, I'd know about it?" after many paragraphs of being oblivious as fuck and a huge prick

[@Steampunkkids]

I’ve heard others read story #1 before. But, I stay and listen to Mark because his reactions and advice are the best! Keep being you, Mark!

[@justfelicitous5109]

In story 1: The only way I'd understand such a demand from a parent in that situation would be if the parents were about to be put out of the house because they couldn't afford to keep the place. That's literally crazy that he wants money from her that badly. smh

[@istormarts6078]

A lot of 23 year olds haven't even moved out of home yet, and don't pay their parents rent, especially if they are studying, and that's normal and not a bad thing really.

[@hello93617]

I've gotten to see the difference in peers of mine that entered the workforce and made their own way and those who went to college and are now graduating (I'm 25). The ones who stayed home, took out loans, or basically did anything but work to becoming self sufficient really arnt in great shape now. Some who were smart about what they studied are in a good position, especially cyber security or really anything to do with computers. Polysci, humanities, linguistics even, all can't find work and are in debt. Going to college does not equal a smart life choice, and shouldn't just excuse an individual from having to make their way in this world and pay their taxes.

[@istormarts6078]

@@hello93617 Your friends experiences doesn't make statistics or truth, and you're 25, that could easily have flipped by the time you are 30. Ofcourse collage doesn't equal good choice, and making your own way can also be great. But living at home while studying in collage, is not a bad thing, and they most likely will work to become self sufficient after collage. People aren't supposed to pay taxes while they are studying and haven't gotten a job yet. Going to university often is like a full-time job. It's also not very weird that they can't find jobs now, cuz like most people can't find jobs now due to the pandemic.

[@hello93617]

@@istormarts6078 Alot of my peers have been tricked into taking out huge loans and studying worthless information that doesn't lead to a higher income, not by the schools, but by their parents, who cling to the idea college=good, so long they are in college they don't need to work, etc. 24 is old to be relying on your parents to the level this girl is. If they died or cut her off, she'd be outta luck. Maybe she's studying something worthwhile, and it will all be worth it.

[@ineedhoez]

​@@hello93617stfu. I'm so tired of people who can't get into college telling people who go to college what their life is going to be like. You do not have to go into debt to go to college. Be smart about the colleges you go to and go based on affordability. Staying at home and going to college is a smart move. At the end of the day, you're going to make a million dollars more over the course of your lifetime if you go to college versus not.

[@JootjeJ]

I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that has the Silence of the lambs reaction to the word lotion. 😅

[@Questor-ky2fv]

Cancel the bachelorette trip for the bridesmaids. This event is tied to weddings. The wedding event was called off, so call off the trip. No wedding = no trip. If the former bride wants to go on a trip, she needs to pay for it herself, instead of burdening others with the expense.

[@deannaarias6429]

Story 2: as a kid when I used to like touching things in stores to look at them my mom would tell me "you look with your eyes not your hands" OP should remind their coworker that she can see the ring with her eyes while OP is wearing it. She doesn't need to touch the ring to see it

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I'd be so fucking pissed if someone took my ring and did that, people have asked to see my ring as in wearing it and it makes me so fucking uncomfortable. I had a cousin basically guilt me into it once and I try not to think about it because it makes me want to just scrub down my ring and I feel sick. Edit: I wore mine on a necklace when I worked fast food and had to wash my hands all the time. Other times at different places when I wash my hands I put it in my mouth (like between my lips, not full saliva covered and all), gotta be careful with people now days

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

Doctor story: you're really stretching here to be upset aren't you?

[@z0mb1egutzz]

story 1: YTA, she is working so fucking hard and you decide to put more pressure on her? You're gonna wind up in a nursing home when you're old. story 2: NTA, that is so creepy??? story 3: NTA, that isn't okay honestly. He doesn't know what happened to you and you are entitled to feel uncomfortable. story 4: NTA what the hell?

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Story 1 - Not only is the OP being a horrible parent, but he's also being a horrible spouse! He made this decision without even talking to his wife then sneakily tried to kick out their daughter behind his wife's back. You don't make decisions this big unilaterally.

[@Rehvengethedragon]

Mark, quoting silence of the lambs was a real treat. Thank you

[@LadyLeomon]

1) YTA, she’s finishing her education AND working a paying job, she’s not slumming it in her room all day, the poor thing is working herself to the bone! 2) NTA at all and I’d stop putting on the hand lotion when she came over! What do you even get out of this friendship? 3) NTA, that’s the type of response I expect from someone on the Pro-Life side, the way he worded it was just weird and also the fact she had an IUD should be all the cue he needed to keep his _personal opinion_ to himself. 4) NTA but you should get separate bank accounts no matter what she does, why not burn the money with the leaves? That at least would’ve been enjoyable to watch! Thanks for the new vid WaffleBoss 💙🐱💙

[@LadySingingWolf]

Story 1: So much YTA. Just because she's not paying every moth doesn't mean she's not paying at all, just just covering multiple months at once. jfc. This pandemic has hit a lot of people hard and I'm sure if her funding hadn't been cut she would still be on her own. I live with my dad (due to his health issues) and I've been very lucky that he hasn't charged me rent (house is paid off and he makes enough to cover all the other bills including car insurance on all the vehicals, I'm covered to drive his cars and he is covered for mine), I help out in other ways and cover a portion of the groceries, help keep the place clean, help him drive to appointments (some are an hour and a half away), ect. I do work part time near by, but it would not be enough to get my own place, but is enough to cover my car payment and a few other bills, including student loans. I would be devistated if my father did this to me when I was going to school and trying work as much as I could (I went to school and worked a crappy part time job during the recession, tried to find something more in line with what I was going to school for but nothing was available without some significant experience). If OP doesn't change his tune and help his daughter instead of pressuring her then he will lose both her and likely his wife. Story 2: NTA. Co-worker is incredibly rude and if she keeps it up then go to HR. Story 3: I'm going to go with ESH. There is no legit reason to report the doctor because he gave you that response. Not all doctors are going to respond to certain news the way we would like. If you don't like it then don't go back to him. Yes, he should have read the room far better and responded more appropriately but that doesn't constitute a reportable offense. If it was, I would have reported a nurse of a pregnancy crisis center I went to years ago that badgared me that I should leave my pagan faith behind for the sake of my baby's soul. This was a Christian run center, but that wasn't openly advertised and I had gone then at the recomendation of the baby's father's sister who went there to get help for her own pregnancy. I never went back there and I recommended that others stay away from that place as well. Next time I needed help, mainly to get on BC, I went to Planed Parenthood and had a far better experience despite me being there to prevent future pregnancies. And before anyone asks, a few weeks after the trip to the crisis center I ended up having to go to the hospital due to my body miscarrying an ectopic pregnancy. While I was sad about the loss for a little while, it turned out to be a blessing since I was in no position to take care of a child at that time (still not). Story 4: NTA. MLMs really need to be shut down. My mom has been involved in them off and on over the years and I've been actively discouraging her from getting involved in any more especially since she's not doing that well financially. One of my friends is starting to get involved in them now too though I'm trying to find a way to gently warn her about these companies without hurting her feelings.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

So mom's usually homes to see the daughter struggling and I assume that means you aren't and you're saying "well I don't see how she's tired but my wife claims she is"

[@aconvowithcrissee222]

The lack of self awareness in story 1 is CRAZY, he doesn't even NEED the $$, he just "doesn't like" that he's waiting??? Like WOAHHHH

[@Gumbier_Than]

You seriously crack yourself up, don't you Mark? Jolly good. 😂✊🏾

[@MarkNarrations]

I do, I'm a riot 🤣🤣🤣

[@lisae8315]

The Silence of the Lambs reference made me really laugh. Thanks for that! Edited to add that I would never try on someone’s engagement or wedding rings. I immediately felt that she “contaminated” them. These being important symbols of two peoples love and commitment for each other that are passed from one half of the couple to the other. It/They should never grace someone else’s finger. I can’t believe that I found something new to shock me about people’s behavior, (good)decision making skills, lack of manners, or common decency.

[@darkmask5933]

21:32 Mark: Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk Me: Mark is best boi and must be protected at all costs!

[@carolroberts4614]

Absolutely a Good Egg!

[@Buff_Helpy]

I love the first story, from the title he was the asshole, read the first paragraph, still the asshole, then you read everything and you realize this guy is an amazingly horrible person.

[@chits28]

1- Some people have zero respect for those who pursue research. Their children should be put in schools with underqualified and stupid teachers. They should be denied any outcome of any research, whether it is a medicine or a vaccine or a policy. YTA 2- NTA. The title alone is enough. OP was nice. I would have yelled at her right there. Even if it weren't an engagement ring, it wouldn't matter, you don't try on people's stuff without their permission. 3- NTA. NTA. NTA. The doctor behaved unprofessionally. Report him. He/she needs to keep their cultural/religious baggage back home.

[@Ravethecat12]

Alright, I’m a woman but I do think she’d be the AH for reporting. I know nothing about being a doctor but my mom is a nurse and I know that people in the medical field go through a bunch of BS. Most people’s reaction to someone being pregnant is to congratulate them, I understand that’s not what the OP wanted (I’m someone who doesn’t like or want kids) but I’d let it go, there’s nothing to report. It’s not like there’s malpractice going on or anything.

[@chanterelle483]

Yes.

[@ashleyhudson8253]

I just feel for the daughter in story one. OP sounds like my father. I am currently still living with my parents after college trying to save up to move out. And every once in awhile he will get on this " you need to get a real job and start contributing". He doesn't know all that I do, he forgets everything I do for his lazy butt, and you can bet that when I do move out I will only visit and call my mother especially when he isn't home. OP is 100% AH, and I bet all he does in the house is bring a paycheck and sits there calling for his wife and daughter to do stuff for him.

[@maddy8328]

story 3, NTA. it was not the doctors place to say anything, and he should have noticed the negativity in the room and talked to her about proper resources. pregnancy in my eyes is not blessing, but rather just pain for 9 months.

[@pugbug4252]

I used to try and take off my moms engagement ring because I thought it was pretty..... when I was a child. Touching people’s things without their permission is just not right, especially with something as expensive and sentimental as an engagement ring

[@MrMrSockhead]

Day: 87 of telling Mark that he is wonderful and deserves the world

[@artmanxp]

Does he post daily?

[@sasakimirai4318]

@@artmanxp during the week he posts 2-3 videos daily, and on the weekends it's one vid per day, if i remember correctly

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: I'd be at HR right away to report that. I'd be checking and learning where any cameras in the office are and asking about getting one for my desk/work space.

[@maheenahmed6653]

Story 1: I hope that if she gets married one day, and she plans to have someone walk her down the aisle, that the daughter has the mom do it or another man. OP doesn’t deserve to. She’s also been out of the house since 19 and that’s fucking impressive.

[@nightbane2889]

1. To answer your question op "If it was, why didn't I pick up on it" Answer: YTA, AH never pick up on these things. Seriously your daughter is working on a thesis and an assistant and per your wife's testimony 'not loafing around'. How are you anything but? Now I can understand perhaps being frustrated that there is an extra mouth to feed, and bills have probably gone up a bit. But for the same token, all things considered, you can wait for her job to pay her.

[@little_lion_heart9850]

Dude, the pregnancy one makes me SO mad. A doctor congratulating someone who is using birth control AND has made it clear they are not excited about a potential pregnancy AND telling them all pregnancies are blessing is so so so out of line. The doctor does not know your life. That person could be high risk and possibly die from pregnancy, be in an abusive relationship and fear being pregnant. They could just not want children/more children like the woman in the story. The point is, it could be really triggering and even life threaten for someone to be pregnant, and if that person does not seem excited about the pregnancy saying all pregnancies are a blessing is heartless. A doctor should know better. I don't know that there is anything you can report the doctor for, but I understand her being upset. It may not have harmed her personally, but that behavior could be harmful for other people dealing with unplanned pregnancy.

[@unluckypuppy13]

Reporting is just a step too far, she'll just be wasting her time because that's a no way a punishable offense from any licensing board. If she's irked by the conversation she should be mature and talk to the doctor herself. Or if she doesn't want to have an adult conversation she can leave a mean Google review.

[@ZoeAlleyne]

That doctor KNOWS not all babies are a blessing. That was really loaded, the doctor isn't stupid. It needs to be reported because his response was NOT OK and he needs education. That can be really traumatic for someone who does not want a pregnancy.

[@martinprochazka3714]

Story 4: The hypocrisy in this story slaps real hard. Bridezilla makes fun of people not having free $1k to burn and calls them poor yet expects a free fucking vacation. -- Wouldn't that make *her* poor?. My brain is literally melting right now...

[@KCCAT5]

1.YTA 2.NTA 3.YTA 4. I hate bridezillas. Cancel the party... Did you say they broke up?

[@aba1design]

I can sorta get looking at the ring. Its weird to put it on but maybe they're just daft. To try and take of the ring is weird as hell who does that. Then to get defensive instead of apologetic is offensive outright.

[@unluckypuppy13]

Reporting is just a step too far, she'll just be wasting her time because that's a no way a punishable offense from any licensing board. If she's irked by the conversation she should be mature and talk to the doctor herself. Or if she doesn't want to have an adult conversation she can leave a mean Google review.

[@Mewse1203]

Maybe not punishable by a licensing board but, at least in the US, Patient satisfaction is a huge thing they use to evaluate doctors. I don't think reporting a bad review of her experience to the clinic/hospital is in any way a step too far. He didn't commit any official misconduct, but his bedside manner is poor and that is something people in charge need to know as does he if he wants to improve.

[@unluckypuppy13]

@@Mewse1203 I agree that he was insinuating that her attitude was bad and I think it would be helpful to patients in the future to know where he stands on these topics. There are quite a few doctor review websites and she could also leave a review through her insurance website. That I feel would be appropriate anything beyond that is too much.

[@maddy4362]

Why would the doctor ever think she would be excited about this?

[@Pumpkin_Kisses]

Story 4: I’ve been a bridesmaid twice and that was two times too many.

[@barbarastorball2117]

I actually think cancelling is bachelorette weekend is the best idea financially for everyone involved. It sounds like the bride wasn't reasonable and it sounds like it's simply a cash grab for her.If the bride want to have on a weekend away after the ending of her engagement than she should have to pay for not op and the bridesmaid they probably could use the money for other reasons

[@itrasheditgood]

Umm she gets paid, therefore it is a job. This isn’t a person who is not paying rent, she gets a lump sum. Give the girl sum slack!

[@ishafreel5480]

Story 1 WTF we are in the same situation our son 23 still lives at home because he's still in school. Who the hell kicks out their child who still needs them and they charge her rent. what a lousy father.

[@ineedhoez]

Story 1: with parents like that, who needs enemies?

[@amyyaku5022]

Story 1: YTA. "Get a real job"? Seriously? Maybe stop being greedy and see how hard your daughter's working instead of expecting her to pay you every month. She should be living there rent free so she can save as much money as possible. Story 3: YTA. I think OP blew it out of proportion. It's not the doctor's job to tell you what you want to hear or "pick up on cues". They shouldn't get in trouble for congratulating a patient, whether the patient wants the baby or not.

[@nyx.8254]

Story 3: why are so many people saying YTA??!! If the doctor just said congratulations then fair enough, everyone slips up sometimes but the whole "miracle baby" spiel? Docs TA, like, come on. Isn't it kinda common sense that if someone has a IUD they don't want a baby

[@TheTiggerpoo1]

It should be logical. Getting divorced???? No more wedding events from ANYBODY. How hard is that??

[@jemase7931]

Every once in a while, I get emails from people I have not heard from in decades about such-a-deal-they-have-for-me. Hun.

[@emilywright1390]

Story 3 really really REALLY rubs me the wrong way. So it’s blindingly clear the doctor knew she had an IUD, and the whole “always a blessing, congratulations” shit just sounds like someone trying to be as pressuring as possible to make someone feel horrible for potentially considering a termination (as you’d maybe expect since she’s on that type of birth control) Strongly NTA... there’s something really shitty about it

[@fhuber7507]

2.. NTA YOUR RING, not the choosing beggar's. Choosing beggar wants to steal it.

[@jemase7931]

The doctor was just trying to cheer her up. Leave it alone.

[@johnadams7145]

Story 1: YTA, when I read the title I thought the daughter was 24 years old and never had a job or went to college. But she is working. So the person is TA.

[@emilyw.1186]

Story 1, wow... my parents r so chill. I’m a full time premed student and I have a job, and always have one in the summer, sometimes 2. My parents don’t want us to not have a job at all, but if we have one they’re happy to support us. I’m actually moving into an apartment in august with a friend for college and my parents are going to buy me my furniture(cheap) and they’ll pay for my groceries. I am so lucky and I honestly didn’t realize that not all parents are like this till I started listening to these Reddit stories. I’m amazing and horrified...

[@themandownthehall]

story 2: the first time she did that, was, while sketchy, I'd say ok. What ever. She wanted to see it and is a bit rude. The second time?? Yeah no

[@fionamasters1822]

I would have broke her fingers the second time and screw the consequences. Nobody has the right to just try to take an engagement ring off the other persons hand.

[@Nightlady0228]

I can’t even grasp OP’s thought process in the first post. I have a job, my hours got cut a bit due to Covid, but it’s nothing much. I’m still living with my parents after finish a short grad program (I live in a city we’re the cost of living is extremely high, and most rentals DONT take pets) I’ve tried to pay rent and THEY won’t let me, they say that my doing house chores and paying for any particular groceries and a part of the utilities is more than enough, what would they do with all the spare space (my older sister moved out nearly 10 years ago) and mind you, they aren’t exactly parent of the year material...

[@emilyw.1186]

I’m really close to my aunt and when she got engaged I never once tried to take her ring or even ask to try it on. I just grabbed her hand to get a better look(with her consent). I inherited a decent amount of rings from my grandma when she passed and I let my close family/friends try on my rings but I don’t think I would ever let people try on an engagement ring, that’s so personal

[@sasakimirai4318]

Personally, I feel like for story 3, the doctor is definitely the asshole. I understand that he was trying to be polite and was probably well-meaning, but the fact of the matter is that he had no idea what OP's life circumstances were. What would he have done if the OP had gotten pregnant as a result of rape? In these cases, it's always better to err on the side of caution. It reminds me of a story where the op worked at a bank and someone came in to cash a cheque for a sizeable amount, and they made a joke about how they wish they had a cheque like that, when the client replied that it was a life insurance cheque and they would much prefer to have their loved one instead. I agree with all the people saying that the doctor ought to have taken his cue from OP. Beyond that, if he had just said "congratulations," that might have been forgiveable, whatever. But for him to continue on and say that "A baby is always a blessing and you must be very excited to have a little one even if it was a surprise!" seems like he's trying to push pro-life beliefs on the patient. No sane person would look at someone who has an IUD coming in for a pregnancy test, and genuinely believe it was a cause for celebration.

[@oakenshadow6763]

This is how I feel. Or if their partner just died, or congenital deseases, or heart issues, or any number of reasons. He is bad at his job.

[@Questor-ky2fv]

The engagement ring story: you need to bluntly, but politely tell your coworker these important things: 1. Engagement rings are never meant to be shared. 2. It is never okay to wear someone else's jewelry, or other property without their permission. 3. You do not have my permission. She will kick up a fuss about it, but just tell her these rules are necessary to keep keep your property from getting lost, damaged, or stolen, and this will keep the insurance premium from going up. If your coworker still makes a fuss ask her if she will be paying for your insurance premium. I suggest you wear the ring on a chain and tucked inside your clothes at work. By wearing it inside your clothes it won't snag on stuff, and will be less visible to someone who might want to steal it. Unfortunately, I think your coworker may want to do that, so you need to make it harder for her to do that.

[@susanlayton2143]

If someone had tried to do with me what this coworker tried to do with OP, in trying to take her ring off her finger, that person would no longer have a hand. OP is NTA

[@fcold9402]

5. NTA. If you cannot trust your partner with the shared account then you need to only contribute at the moment it is needed for an actual shared reason. You cannot allow someone to spend shared money for their own personal needs. (Unless of course there is a stay at home parent). Also, NEVER support anyone in a self destructive MLM situation.

[@rossvegas1346]

Nothing better than listening to a British dude shitting on MLMs while playing a farming sim game

[@vanivee3931]

The doctor story: I understand what OP is saying, pregnancy is not for everyone, however, reporting him is a little excessive, in my opinion. Maybe writing a letter, sending an email or even asking for the manager and advising them the doctor was inconsiderate and maybe some training or a reminder that pregnancy is not always happy need would be better. He is a doctor, not God, he can’t read your mind.

[@chanterelle483]

Yes! I would say No Assholes Here. I understand that not everyone is happy with being pregnant but the doctor was just trying to be nice.

[@EllieC130]

This was my view too. Clearly this comment shook OP but the Doctor wasn’t violating ethics strictly speaking, he just lacked tact. A strongly worded letter to the doctor would hopefully do the job.

[@jesterbrown90]

Story 2: NTA. Your coworker needs to learn boundaries and HR should be the ones to teach her. Story 4: NTA. Her husband was smart to get away. You should, too. Friends like that aren't worth keeping. Story 5: NTA. Typical MLM bs. Separate the finances ASAP.

[@alyzu4755]

"I can't have an adult wonan living in my house rent-free". Dude, WHAT?!?!?!? First off, shes NOT living rent-free. Secondly , she's not some rando, she's your daughter, FFS! She's working her a$$ off, paying rent, writing a THESIS, working, and barely sleeping. All of this during a worldwide effing pandemic! She's anxious and stressed, and all you can see is she's not giving you what you see as your "due". Yeah, you are the AH, and don't be surprised when she cuts you out of her life.

[@crazy4cheddar]

Story 1: Dad is insensitive. Studying is a real job, as is her other job! He is also the AH big time. Second Story: NTA. Only time I ever offer my ring up is when I give it to people myself. No one has ever tried to take it off from me. OP in no way is TA. Story 3: I am not too sure. I feel like ESH but neither are too big AH. Story 4: Absolutely NTA. Bachelorette parties are expensive and Covid is another reason. Story 5: NTA you are protecting your family and yourself financially.

[@jessicawaldeback]

”Everyone are talking about hand cream and such these days…” What? When? What the f**k have I missed?!

[@jessicawaldeback]

Okay, the penny just dropped seconds after posting. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

[@lorifiedler13]

Engagement ring. Or maybe the coworker thinks that if they have the ring, they have the fiance. Don't attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity.