r/Cursedcomments | EAT HIM

[@rianvanrensburg9960]

He protecc He atacc But most importantly : He jacc the snacc that bites bacc

[@Bob-dr3sv]

I will name my son/daughter “hi” and their second name “jack”

[@KirbosMemes]

Where is the bite

[@randomperson273]

Add “off to” to Jacc---the snacc Basically He jacc off to the snacc that bites bacc there ruined the comment

[@romanxfire5thepokemondude457]

@Random Person R/cursedcomments

[@stain5570]

@@romanxfire5thepokemondude457 r/don'tuserslashonanyothersocialmediaotherthanreddit

[@J-meh2102]

Fun fact: Until a few years ago, Russia actually classed beer as a fizzy drink. They even did research, stating that they found out "it is healthier than vodka"

[@dumbahhbisexual]

oh neat

[@gogodogodo3283]

Hang on. Its healthier than WHAT now?

[@WillTonkin-lk3ed]

​@@gogodogodo3283russian most famous drink

[@gogodogodo3283]

@@WillTonkin-lk3ed impossible.

[@TheEngieTF2]

"She left me for a man with bigger hands" - Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[@Elysiummmm__]

Hold up

[@BlueAnimatedArt]

I remember Edit: this comment crashed my youtube

[@Dqpeanutbuster]

Finger job

[@kao9349]

@@BlueAnimatedArt ??????

[@panconquesoxd1291]

GOD I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THAT JOKE TILL NOW IM AN IDIOT

[@undead1weirdo]

Doctor: you need a new kidney Patient: oh no Doctor: Here's a celebrity kidney Patient: YAY Patient: doctor why am I constantly trembling Doctor: because your now addicted to several drugs

[@ggogaming7441]

Doctor: Sorry, now you have HIV.

[@nickedname_2158]

Doctor: you also have almost every disease

[@CID5202]

Enjoy herpes!

[@itsnola8095]

TaStes LIkE ColOrS

[@munchfacer3485]

@@itsnola8095 sound taste wayyyyyy better

[@pixelized_cloudz7802]

Jack’s intro was so Australian, I flipped upside down

[@merlijnnelis]

Nice

[@lgrh3874]

@@merlijnnelis noice

[@amir_thomas1200]

That intro was so australian, i ate a tarantulas farts again

[@miniperico4499]

@@amir_thomas1200 umm buddy are you ok

[@AsianGanyu]

Did you know I live in Australia I am shoved agains my roof everyday

[@notagoat281]

12:52 Fun fact: "Radioactive" should actually be played in New York, because it was originally written for a Spiderman musical. Then the guys who hired them to write it (which they had done specifically with the intent of replacing them with professionals once they got some publicity) realized their songs were actually good and that's how they became a famous band.

[@Plutoliketheplanet]

"Took an allergy test and im allergic to everything." So how does it feel to be allergic to air 🎤 💀

[@shoty_x1693]

*Asthma*

[@livtube6145]

Amen and RIP to that guy

[@CommanderOfHavok]

BREATHE IN THE SWEET AROMA OF DEATH!

[@yokuutsu9097]

*HYPERVENTILATING* "I-I THINK MY LEFT LUNG JUST GAVE OUT!-"

[@wmdkitty]

[coughing]

[@kyototomokui6676]

I love the way Jack pronounces “depression,” because it just sounds perfect.

[@michealmalloy1934]

Also the way he pronounced “massacred”

[@agent_w.]

0:15 you didn’t search “guy squatting” because you didn’t want to confuse your FBI agent

[@midnytejay]

i’ve searched it multiple times so my fbi agent has enough material

[@tomokototo]

I've downloaded pictures and watch videos of it

[@Kin_fe]

I was that 69th like!

[@suffermore1576]

@@tomokototo what

[@Kin_fe]

@Sargent_HIPPO omg ikr like bro i got an email because of it

[@thefallenC073]

My dad answers spam calls with “Pete’s abortion clinic and pizza place where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce”

[@real190log]

Can we appreciate that they made a channel for Damien so now we have Damien back again

[@blanana_m]

Ok sure

[@maribelsanchez5703]

Its deelee

[@HuggyBuddyOwO]

I mean... he already has one previously called Damie Lee, the rat king

[@motivatedmoo1747]

I’m pretty sure Damian made that channel himself. Emkay doesn’t own him. I’m not sure if you’re serious, or making a really bland joke.

[@Ryebread_2]

Damien has his own channel you know

[@thislittledragon9617]

0:15 its okey editor i understand and im sure every other anxious person can definantly understand that fear. im very happy that your here making these videos as wonderful as they are so thank you for trying with that scene, i appreciate you.

[@anonymousanonymous7170]

Imagine someone actually opens up a Go Fund Me account for donating money to sacrifice tourists.

[@bredtbh]

I already have;)

[@MyUsersDark]

@@bredtbh If i had money, i'd donate it so i'll donate myself as a practice for the future sacrifices

[@Bloodynomnom]

Please that baby I have three

[@anearthlyentityofcoffee2607]

can i be the one to throw them in? or do you want me to play a game of human bowling with a truck?

[@Bloodynomnom]

@@anearthlyentityofcoffee2607 baby all you need to do is get the body's but if you want you can take the Bones out of the body's so they get saved and I will get the body's

[@kobold_sushi_executive_chef]

4:10 congratulations, you turned your airbag into a claymore.

[@Kirafr0]

the hotdog one gave me a goddamn existential crisis like wtf

[@jesseallen3109]

Aww, don't sweat the juice, hot dog!

[@Kirafr0]

please stop

[@shslidiot2342]

These replies are the newest version of only victims

[@jesseallen3109]

@@shslidiot2342 man I was making a dumb joke that op didn't appreciate. I stopped when he asked so what you talking about? That's just common decency. Also I could have gone far worse if I let the idea stew in my head.

[@Tortellia]

I always thought I was a rat. Apparently I was a hot dog

[@theblob2937]

12:04 when I saw this I immediately went on rule 34 to see if this existed. No need to panic, we’re safe for now

[@Tha-mountain]

U an issure

[@goblin3669]

"What?..can you blame me? Its niiiice and waaaarm." The creature said slyly, wiggling and adjusting position, deeper into the comfortable greasy cheese.

[@shoty_x1693]

Do you mean dogwater?

[@VincentRafaelCLlona]

Something big

[@christiancarnley6667]

r/Cursedcomments

[@NA-Not-Available]

"I will surprise communism you before you have the chance to surprise democracy me!" - random dudes on discord.

[@TheHotBlade]

"Took an allergy test. I'm allergic to almost everything." So how does it feel being allergic to yourself?

[@Henrex2000]

It's called autoimmune disorders

[@StarCassia]

Its not that bad considering everyone else is alergic to me too

[@n9it]

It's called depression.

[@MyUsersDark]

*almost*

[@hastipasta]

*”almost”*

[@mr.a7662]

5:07 That freeze-frame is ADORABLE!!! 🥺

[@theofficialluckytattletail1938]

r/Cursedcomments: exists the entirety of EmKay: We can milk you

[@timewithjackson3975]

*"We can milk you"* feels threatening

[@zone3336]

And I don’t mind

[@theofficialluckytattletail1938]

same

[@shoty_x1693]

@@timewithjackson3975 to a woman

[@nitgen99]

@@shoty_x1693 You saying that you can't milk males? Tf have I been doing?

[@maurits7162]

1:59 the way jack laughed made me laugh

[@awesomestyles]

Please note that these are suggestions, and although I really wish for EmKay to cover them, they don't have to. As long as my comments don't get deleted, I'm fine. Day 173 of asking for these subreddits: Robin: -r/sbubby -r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it) Jack: -r/ComedyCemetery -r/garfieldminusgarfield -r/BreadStapledToTrees Lexi: -r/notlikeothergirls -r/forbiddensnacks -r/Chadtopia -r/ofcoursethatsathing Anyone: -r/HumansBeingBros -r/Wellthatsucks And finally: -A collaboration between Robin & Zach (have the subreddit be r/bonehurtingjuice) Thanks! :D

[@thethreecolourmusicneko8012]

Dreams... 👌

[@logankille575]

Agreed

[@bakrobertjohnston4889]

All of them: bread

[@FoxerZ]

YES!

[@lospapoticos]

we need them to look at prono sub reddit

[@laurin1395]

"homeboy got colonized" made me laugh way harder than it should've

[@ihateambulances7981]

4:27 oh that’s why flash in zootopia was so liked

[@lydiajulianprower8356]

It also explains why Sonic doesn't have one.

[@alephnull7446]

he named the cat noodle and gave it a chicken hat, chicken noodle, but what if he made chicken noodle soup

[@pineappleprincess9704]

Chicken Noodle soup is the cat wearing that hat in a bathtub

[@ryan-ln2hx]

The importance of a comma

[@u6uggg6hguiuggy]

Mmmmm.

[@TheCorruptReaper]

I'm bouta eat some chicken noodle soup

[@jordanhasch2544]

Get it right, Jack: It's not "recycling"; it's "repurposing".

[@izzyb_ella_m5362]

You know your early when random people start praying for you

[@shoty_x1693]

And start saying Indians to take Jesus as master. wait......This seems familiar...... Oh yeah British.

[@lazskum]

I pray for you

[@noraz1292]

God they trust, cousins they thrust Amen

[@_ELIT3_07]

ive seen A LOT of the fanarts on this channel, but that one... i really liked it. if you are here good job bro and thank you for the time you put into it so people like me can enjoy it. :)

[@littlemull3415]

I'm so overwhelmed over this 😭❤

[@karasu8310]

@@littlemull3415your work is beautiful man

[@littlemull3415]

@@karasu8310 oohh thank you so much!!

[@gunsandroses896]

The girl treating the guy like a king is clearly the daughter of eldritch beings. She does stuff like that all the time. Please help.

[@Bloodynomnom]

Don't worry let me get my gun

[@Ilovebuzzsaws]

I dont know what you mean she is doing everything right now rest your head this will be quick

[@Ilmar122]

Nice provile pic

[@cloudykid7278]

7:04

[@honeyjuice219]

2:50 female hyenas: am i a joke to you?

[@dez.thecreator]

PLEASE THE BANK DEPOSIT CLIP LMAO 💀

[@weezer7757]

Ranpo pfp

[@engineergaming9037]

I like how he sounded hesitant when said friends at the start

[@jdrailfan391]

9:01 Only true Portlanders will know who this is.

[@airilesyankovic2100]

Seen him only once in downtown Portland lol

[@jdrailfan391]

@@airilesyankovic2100 It’s been my dream to see him! Seeing him is on my bucket list!

[@Drivestyne]

Have you seen the Cleveland tourism video?

[@EbuCallinav]

Keep Portland weird.

[@cadenhyde9510]

the first guy to drink cow milk must have been like “wow, this shii wylin”

[@koostheron1038]

Malaria is like a bad ex she may be 'gone' but she is one drunk phonecall away

[@nicolasj.1116]

Underrated comment

[@kanyeeast8450]

6:52 Can confirm, the Bible does not specifically forbid Heelies.

[@somelazyloser]

On today’s episode of: *Cursed Comedians*

[@MiningPalace]

"Camped harder than Anne Frank" Jesus Christ XD

[@sushifox0]

Day 12 of telling Jack that his feet smell like cheese.

[@Callawaygolfer]

“People who go to sleep late die earlier” Me looks at time: oh brilliant 1:35 am nice

[@albinocrow6804]

5:48 his profile makes me extremely happy

[@VinRocks]

jack is my favorite host because he does such convincing readings and its just hilarious :]

[@staticanimations3678]

Theory: jack actually made that post about Kylie jenner

[@iliate2589]

Stop talking. Please.

[@jameshancock1528]

@@iliate2589 why do you fear the truth

[@bukitcengkeh1]

Oh god

[@randysmith9636]

Dang Jack, you my friend are a joy to listen to. You're narrating of the video had me laughing out loud. Thank you.

[@eggs-and-the-exotic]

*Title: EAT HIM* *Me: 😰😓 I Can’t Eat My Teacher-* (Okay, I’m Sorry)

[@CommanderOfHavok]

Yes you can, what’s the gender?

[@writemesomeletters]

@@yuame7605 Can confirm.

[@eggs-and-the-exotic]

*WHAT THE FU-*

[@eggs-and-the-exotic]

*I- Okay...*

[@CommanderOfHavok]

Yeah I guess....:but have you ever had lung? Better crispy.

[@infernoxx_08]

7:48 suddenly, technoblade!

[@HaydenofEverything]

Thanks TikTok, I'm gonna feel mildly insulted now every single time somebody says "You walk too quickly"

[@valoressbqiskrnrjbx5025]

1:08 holy fuck I wheezed

[@milkycloud1963]

3:50 took me a good 20 seconds to understand what was wrong 😂😂

[@passerine2019]

3:22 If we did that, I imagine Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and John Adams just having a fight. Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and Samuel Adams just talking. And George Washington trying to calm down Hamilton.

[@venomoussnakes3087]

jack is the snack that smiles back my snacks dont usually smile

[@emperormarc122]

Your comment is totally cursed

[@meow.610]

Same

[@RetroWolf0498]

Favorite comment ever to the bejewled airbag. Congratulations you have turned your airbag into a claymore.

[@erinhollow773]

15:25 Ferb crushed on her, she never reciprocated until "Act Your Age"

[@reinhardtwilhelm835]

It's quite uncomfortable the fact that Jack can deliver these kinds of jokes so well.

[@browhathow1397]

After this, imma cleanse myself of any sins

[@beeb4439]

Bro what How

[@tacticabbage]

@beeb geometry dash pfp🤨🤨

[@Fever_Man]

15:14 and here we are, doctors looking for a cure for cancer while I had it in my locker the whole time

[@goldenwing151]

Damn that fanart is gorgeous

[@littlemull3415]

Thank you so much ;w;!

[@randommeowthekitty6482]

'How do you art people make things glow without the glowing actually being there?' I have a friend who's an artist. I'm going to ask them this, in this exact wording, the next time I see them. I'll get back to you with their answer

[@littlemull3415]

DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWER!? I NEED TO KNOW!!

[@haylicewatters41]

Jack is more cursed than any comments I've read and I love him for it

[@ERROR-xs4dx]

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they are dead

[@aromanticfranziskavonkarma]

"oh shoot i forgot this is a kids website" has the same vibes as "oh shit, you guys are kids, i gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards"

[@BartEmbregts]

Camped harder than Anne Frank, made my fucking day.

[@donutquestionedtheelevated1070]

3:02 meanwhile the person using kelvin: kold

[@theelevatedone1630]

Hello brother

[@donutquestionedtheelevated1070]

@@theelevatedone1630 i shall not question you either, so I'll just say: hello

[@theelevatedone1630]

@@donutquestionedtheelevated1070 Neither shall I so : hi how are you

[@donutquestionedtheelevated1070]

@@theelevatedone1630 someone questioned me, and you

[@theelevatedone1630]

@@donutquestionedtheelevated1070 I’m not gonna fall for that I’m not dumb enough to question you and ask who? do not be mistaken i am not questioning you

[@hauntakatt]

17:01 I RECOGNIZED THE PICTURE OF GON AND SCREAMED

[@Sandy-ig9pc]

my favorite part was when he Hesitated to say Friends

[@paulcurran302]

I would pay $50 to play D&D with any narrator from EmKay, and $100 to play with Jack

[@TwizzlerHobo]

HEH okay that’s too low

[@littlemull3415]

So hype to finally see my art in the video 😭❤ Thank you so much for all the comments ☆

[@littlemull3415]

@found the change name option lol i mean everybody in the comments below

[@someoneprobably4037]

0:50 do not recognise the bodies in the water

[@Mel-a-knee]

That intro was awesome, dude i'm a hard to laugh person, but that intro was a metric fucking ton over what i expect from a yt intro. Good job Jack, we love you.

[@amarisfrede2]

7:36 Where can I hire him? 🤣🌊🔫😎

[@ExDixionconderoga]

2:05 they’re poor, but they ACT rich, while the rich people wear normal clothing. I know this rule!

[@myrielt]

I loved the “I’m the snack that smiles back”. It’s so cute and clever

[@hiddendesire3076]

3:55 Like the reverse of a gym I used to go to which became a bethel church.

[@DOKZAONE]

14:27 that "positive energy" will have the same effect as a grenade if that air bag ever goes off 😂😂😂

[@eistei]

15:45 the pfp is from itadaki! seieki, you are very much welcome, i expect my $190,000 reward by tuesday evening.

[@markanthonyportem3430]

Can I give you the money on Monday instead.

[@JadianRadiator]

The specific character in it is half vampire and succubus

[@AzureGreatheart]

11:13 I forget if it’s chipmunks or squirrels, but one of the rodents that burries nuts I have heard described as the best gardeners in nature. And they don’t even want to garden.

[@silas8172]

10:56 Germany and Italy reunite once more

[@BeckyNosferatu]

I think Jack is easily my favorite EmKay reader, even though all three of them are fantastic in their own way. Jack just has the same sense of humor I do. lol

[@perhaps7046]

Watching this as I practice self care and personal hygiene, emkay just motivates me somehow

[@pumbaboi6056]

Me too

[@Scarcrow-]

Jack: "Im the snack that smiles back." Me at 3am: *High Pitched cackling*

[@hiddendesire3076]

1:55 I mean that is the trend I notice. Hell, to many of my friends I am rich, but only go clothes shopping maybe once or twice a year at most, barely spend anything. Most of my wardrobe is khakis or jeans with undershirts, hawaiian shirts, and some other button downs. As for footwear it is just hand-me-down slip on shoes from my dad and sandals.

[@zakai4905]

Bro... that fan art is so good like omg

[@wingedwolf9568]

Uepe

[@littlemull3415]

Thank you!!

[@venusblade4ever]

7:09 that’s natural! Girls can in fact look over their shoulders. More turn radius than guys (without dying, but it can be uncomfortable after a time)

[@chrisroberts1773]

In that room full of presidents, I'm imagining #47 seated silently in the corner.

[@mikeoxlong499]

Congrats! You just turned your airbag into a claymore. 4:10

[@emerakia]

I was watching bill wurtz new video and you uploaded as soon as it ended *perfect*

[@Brockolli]

The snack that smiles back, children...

[@darth_avocado2406]

2:40 wowwww now put him in the soup, kevin *do it, kevin*

[@andrea_cross_9420]

George Washington's dad, with a look of horror on his face: "G-George.. George! Put the Axe down my son😅" "You wouldn't want to-" George Washington as a kid wielding a large axe: *"Thou'st shall know the wrath of hell... old man...🥴"*

[@jackbeauchamp6716]

6:03 Maybe I'm tied into this as well... You'll just have to wait and see!

[@tsvetan5422]

Bruh when you said "what is this? 1980 european power rangers" I just died of laughter

[@josh800]

17:17 icarus' last words

[@Master_Brutus]

4:26 Can confirm, I cant even run for 5 seconds straight and I shuffle lazily around the house

[@theglitched6868]

anyone know what ''super bright flashing light kawaii dancing yeah yeah'' was? around 5:07

[@tworossfedermansinatrenchcoat]

Carameldansen

[@masterassassinaltairibn-la4698]

6:33 to 6:44 most cursed thing a time traveler could say in 1916 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@silverrey7379]

5:57 how can someone have Plastic donated as organs?

[@beanybushjr.7021]

You haven't lived until an ad pops up perfectly. 10:41. Just picture the "Old Spice" ad popping up right after that sentence. Just. The whistle.

[@echoboi2156]

1:01 being a huge transformers fan this is so fucking funny

[@RailwayRunaway]

But... It’s a digital art piece, which means it IS glowing.