r/gatekeeping Top Posts | You're not a REAL ____!

[@chasenplayz]

you're not a REAL fan unless you blow air around my room!

[@JimLStone]

You can't wear vans unless you've been hit by one

[@KillThad]

Jim L.Stone You can't get hit by a van until you've been taken by one.

[@janetsnakehole9322]

KillThad You can’t get taken by a van until you become a van vroom vroom

[@schwammi]

Jim L.Stone new favorite comment

[@shawnm2113]

Can’t wear Airwalks unless you can fucking fly!

[@Cinko420]

Jim L.Stone You can't wear Holster without owning a gun Holster

[@middynighty]

The c section thing, one of my friends was born through C-section because otherwise her mother would have died. The doctors made a decision to let my friend keep her mother, rather than force her mother to sacrifice her life to give birth. I'd say making sure you're there for your kid is being a pretty damn good mother.

[@pheo212]

Yeah true.

[@legerdemain444]

They don't give you a choice anyway. As soon they deem you too high risk either for you or the baby, they cut you you up. It's not easier, it's major surgery that takes weeks to recover from, much longer than the average natural birth.

[@charissimpson235]

I’m a c section baby, my mum nearly died even even with the c section

[@fae2038]

Me and both my brothers were born via Caesarean I don’t think any of us would have survived had we not been

[@Blade.Beloved]

I had to be c-sectioned bc my umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck and I could have suffocated

[@Keegan8r]

You’re not a real slazo fan unless you know the numbers on his credit card

[@jordigeven8485]

Old Channel you are not a real slazo fan unless you go under surgery to become slazo

[@teomeogaming8814]

psshh. You aren't a real fan unless you know his Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandparents name AND credit card numbers AND know the spell of the forgotten.

[@merlinmeurer5339]

1783047392663

[@snowyicicle1335]

7612-2834-1097-7016

[@KlintKaras]

*Front and back fam!*

[@hologrampizza5432]

1970-2006 is one generation? that includes both me and my parents!

[@illilll8915]

im is same generation with the humanity damn

[@nickcarroll8565]

Where I'm at that could be 3 generations.

[@danrodriguez5083]

The person who put that was probably born in 2006

[@portalfan15]

I think that 1990 to 2006 are classified as “millennials” so yeah that is actually 2 generations

[@embersatdusk]

@@portalfan15 Actually, 1980 - 1995 is the range in which millenials were born in. 1996 - 2010 is Gen Z. 2010 - now is Gen Alpha.

[@e.c.sherman4749]

You aren't a true Imagine Dragons fan unless you ride an actual dragon.

[@turkeykorvid]

Also that dragon must be radioactive

[@dud9895]

And vegan.

[@somethingwildd]

I ride an imaginary dragon get on my level

[@cobhlaith8844]

No no no, it has to be an IMAGINARY dragon.

[@jakethejake1772]

E. C. Sherman Good thing I’m Dragonborn

[@MaryArts]

Saying that teenagers problems are not real, makes them feel worse about themselves and makes the problems bigger. Never say: "It's just a phase" or "Don't think so negative about it"

[@Vatniks_are_clowns]

Well said :)

[@anidioticinvaderzimfan7574]

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[@nitingupta767]

So true

[@humanperson2480]

And a lot of the time it is a phase, that’s the point of being a teenager, you go through changes, try on different identities and see what sticks. Weather something is or isn’t a phase, it’s not really up to other people to make that judgement, or discount someone’s feelings just because of it. The moon goes through phases as well, just because it’ll be different in a few weeks doesn’t make it any less full now.

[@sommythedestroyer5405]

10:04 "My father died of a stroke last year and I'm having a real hard time coping with it..." "LOOOOL COMPLAINING TEENAGERS XDDDDDDDDD"

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

Sommy The Destroyer “i haven’t been the same since i escaped that sex slave ring when i was 11... sometimes i just drift off, and all i can see are the dull, lifeless faces of the other girls and boys i lived in a cage with... it’s just been so hard... do i even deserve to be free when i know they’re not?” “LMAO WHATEVER. TRY BEING A STUDENT NURSE. 🙄”

[@r.r815]

"Oh god I have to get coffee for 15 different people in five minutes or I'm fired! I'm already living in a little shack barely making ends meet, I can barely ever sleep. The only thing I have are okay-ish looks..." *gets grabbed by the hair* "I'm a mom, sweety you're 22 and had 10 hours of sleep, back of the line, bitch"

[@avenfantasy7498]

was about to say that sounded oddly specific to be anything else than your life mega rip

[@xenotiic8356]

Creeperwolf 1001 I wanted to like your comment but it felt too real.

[@smileymctrashbag]

creeperwolf 1001 You probably do

[@JacketCK]

Bruh Kids these days, back in my days we didn't even have a good medical system and everyone died of the black death... Only 1300s kids will remember that one

[@Fanrose2475]

FAM DON EVEN 😤😤😤 *GO THERE* YOU'VE NEVER AND I MEAN *NEVER BEEN THROUGH THE CRUSADES* I'VE GOT MY DICK AMPUTATED *AND* I WAS A VEGAN. 👏WATCH WHAT YOU CHAT 👏😤😤😤

[@djjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj]

Fuck off, back in my days, people used to walk for miles to find food and water, while all you damn millenials have to do is have a job and pay for the food yourself

[@randomhuman2602]

Well back in MY day, everyone got eaten by saber toothed tigers, killed by mammoths, and everyone died before they hit 30.

[@xXIronPeachesXx]

ALL OF THESE ARE STRAIGHT GEMS

[@dud9895]

Back in my day, we were only single cell organisms and were crammed in an ocean. Buckle up kid, because we didn't even have dicks to be amputated.

[@Shmendan2]

*Tofu is strictly for vegetarians and vegans* Japan: Yeah...it’s not like we eat tofu a lot AND our most famous dish is based on fish...

[@hainguyenthinam6456]

Asians eat tofu, some Western eat tofu.

[@istolethemuffin3144]

Can we talk about mapo doufu?

[@KARS_K]

Fish is not meat

[@cloudwyrms9752]

I mean scientifically it is...

[@KARS_K]

Fish is not meat

[@meadcwlark4064]

Older generations always talk about younger people “victimising” themselves, but when they post stuff like this in the video, isn’t that playing the role of the victim...? “Hey look at me, my life is so hard being me. My problems are worse than yours so therefore you have n- where are you going?”

[@kukaoot6077]

im coming back

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

The term “real fan” should stop being used

[@Amelanduil]

Pajamapants Jack what about barcelona fan

[@Picardwebber]

I was a real fan before being a real fan was cool

[@americancrusader7554]

Ha! A payday profile picture? You're not a REAL fan unless youve played since the beta and know every meme about the game, POSER

[@vanessacarlson606]

Exactly! Only REAL intellectuals understand this!

[@badatnamesrea5217]

Pajamapants Jack *EAT PANT*

[@seigeengine]

Can confirm it's worse in Canada. It's so cold up here that when you freeze to death, your soul gets frozen into your body, so we're stuck as undying frostbitten zombies lumbering around apologizing to each other.

[@heatherandluke3252]

+J W so lived somewhere fake for 5 years whattt

[@dobbstheelf2835]

Heather Gacha r/wooooosh

[@seigeengine]

I'm going to be honest, both the "Canada is fake," and the "r/wooooosh" memes are more obnoxious than funny..

[@dobbstheelf2835]

seigeengine r/woooosh isn’t a meme lol, stfu

[@royalroach357]

Pfff i live in antarctica and its so cold my breath freezes and my tears become ice so stfu

[@dramaticdog337]

I love the whole "poor" households things because it was probably made by people who have no idea how it's like to even be hungry. Saving money ? pffft, no one does that. Obviously, i just had 400 euroes sitting around and decided to purchase a fridge. You can't pay your bills and you're about to be on the street ? lol i'm not buying it honey, you have a microwave. You're not poor!

[@CatafalqueBoy]

Tbh that whole culture of not taking teens seriously when they have problems is why I’ve had poor mental health since the age of 14 but only just had people take me seriously about it. I’d told teachers and parents and other adults about it and they never tried to get me help. I’m still pretty pissed about it.

[@applejuice7108]

Catafalque Boy I 100% relate. Sorry you’re going through that. I hope there’s good times in store for you!

[@huymax9482]

3:41 tofu is an Asian food not strictly for vegan I'm Asian and I eat tofu all the time with meat some time even stuff meat in tofu So the myth that tofu is for vegan is dumb

[@sarahlebbos4062]

Yeah, talk about appropriation

[@SuheilySu]

Ugh THANK YOU.

[@badgaming538]

Huy Max NOOO ITS ONLY FOR VEGANS AND VEGANS ONLY. UUH YOUR SO DUMB. (JK)

[@badgaming538]

Consume brocoli

[@sammysaito529]

This Huy Max is my old lost account, thank for 100 like btw

[@braden5831]

If your boyfriend hasn't conquered Poland at least once in his life, then you have a girlfriend.

[@divorceattorney727]

Braden Sakpipslät i hope i have a girlfriend because im gay

[@psixi2668]

Why Poland? How offensive, I am Polish. ...but pretty much everyone has conquered Poland sometime at this point so it's honestly not that big a qualifier.

[@hannathebanana3769]

as a polish person i can confirm

[@StellarGryphon]

Braden Sakpipslät Good thing I play HoI4 then

[@hewkii7157]

This is so sad, can we reverse the Polish partitions?

[@jx7945]

You’re not a real 21 pilots fan unless you are a certified pilot yourself.

[@avenfantasy7498]

You're not a real 21 pilots fan unless you're 1 of 21 pilots of a single plane.

[@dasutanehineri]

But then there would be more than 21 pilots

[@ZeldaHyrulian]

Not the FBI *where are the other 19 pilots haha i'm so f **_UNNY_*

[@mrmaniac3]

Soon...

[@discscratch]

You’re not a real 21 pilots fan if you don’t know what a blurry face is.

[@PennyWenny224]

You're not a real fan if you don't know slazos social security number uwu

[@TheFrozenSheep]

*Awhile

[@TheKonch]

FrozenSheep YT uwu

[@unclecreepy7025]

Seeing’s how Australians don’t have social security numbers, it seems you’re not a real slazo fan.

[@zoie8088]

"when I hear teenagers complain about anything" What if they're complaining about an abusive guardian? Or a gf/bf that keeps trying to pressure them into sex? Or not having enough food for their whole family to eat dinner tonight? Or being unable to get clothes that don't have holes in them because their mother was fired and they're spending all their money trying to keep the bills paid? Are you still going to blow them off and laugh?

[@ameneko98]

Everytime I hear that line, I assume the person is a bit sheltered and normally hears teenagers complaining about more common issues like school stress or puberty or struggling to understand themselves/their relationships. It's still stupid, but it makes a little more sense if you exclude anything out of the norm.

[@JoyLoveStruck]

The one about law school and stress gets on my nerves (along with the teenages complaining one) like dude you realize everyone is different so maybe law school is stressful for you, but regular school is 4 times as stressful for me. And just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't have problems! What if I had cancer or maybe a family member of mine was dying. Like your are b***** if you think that because someone is young they don't have important problems.

[@zoie8088]

@@JoyLoveStruck right! Like, everything is stressful for me because I can't function without my meds and I have severe social anxiety. But, no, because I'm young my life is perfect and I need to stop complaining

[@JoyLoveStruck]

No way same! I actually have to be homeschooled because I started having massive panic attacks at school, but after three months of trying just about every medication in the world , I found one that worked and didn't give me terrible side effects. I get alot of crap for it though because adults are always like oh you're just a little shy you're fine! And they act like I'm just being shy even though I'm trying to tell them I'm not comfortable doing whatever because I have social anxiety, it's a real pain in the butt

[@monroe7532]

Zoie B how DARE we have stress

[@ZeldaHyrulian]

You're not a *real* slazo fan unless you know his full name, parents' names, birthday, blood type, and the city he was born in.

[@shadowwwwwwwwwww]

Full Name: Slazo Slazo Slazoson Parents Names: Slazo's Mom and Slazo's Dad Birthday: Smarch 50th, 199X Blood Type: Ketchup City: Europeville, USA.

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

dylxn grxce and his credit card information

[@NotBanned_]

But do you know how clean his water is? Fake fan.

[@ZeldaHyrulian]

Øllie Awsten Knight is never irrelevant

[@Glassee]

🅱️lood type: 🆑ean 🅱️lood

[@DrinkYourNailPolish]

The worst is getting: "you're not a real X unless you do Y" from people who are not part of or hate X group!! .... Like how would you even have that "authority"?! You LITERALLY are not one of us!!!

[@Obliviaa]

what

[@Manoliskon917]

You do not have that authority even if you belong in that group

[@cjgg4885]

Drink Your Nail Polish A variation of that that pisses me off is, "You're not a real fan of X if you don't support every single thing they do." Seriously I hate when people say that shit man.

[@sovietwubzy2875]

Pickle X GON GIVE IT TO YA

[@Ultimate_Gamer_3000]

"euhm ECKSCUUUUUUUSE ME!? YOU AREN'T A REAL PERSON IN YOU DON'T HAVE AN ANDROID!!!!" -Sent from my iPhone.

[@ajshitshed]

DONT 👏 TELL 👏 ME 👏 YOU 👏 SPEAK 👏 ENGLISH 👏 UNLESS 👏 YOU 👏 KNOW 👏 EVERY 👏 SINGLE 👏 WORD 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 ENGLISH 👏 DICTIONARY

[@thecommonfool2110]

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

[@Graycata]

dubiousnesssee

[@norealname1508]

Que you said!

[@kricket7746]

Nao Tenho Criatividade Pra Fazer Um Nome Decente LMAO , this one is my favorite so far 😂

[@avenfantasy7498]

supercalifragilisti-fuck

[@over00lordunknown12]

People that act like their problems are the worst are always wrong, since struggle is relative to someones past and current life.

[@niall62]

Some say that vegan is still typing to this day.

[@NoNo-xh7ru]

Update: they're still typing

[@jedithekitten8891]

Yep they’re still going

[@Elisabeef_]

Nice profile pic

[@niall62]

@@Elisabeef_ Oh, you've seen Initial D too? Well, I'm sure you're not a *real* fan of it, not unless you can name every car

[@Elisabeef_]

Lol wat

[@followthewizard359]

The food "cultural appropriation" thing reminds me of that girl who found a beautiful Chinese-style dress and wanted to wear it to prom. And then people began hating on her because apparently "their culture was not her fucking prom dress". There were condescending tweets about her that said "Sad." at the end. Bloody hell. That poor, poor girl. Surely it was cultural APPRECIATION if it was anything at all. We eat food from different cultures; why can't we incorporate multicultural styles?

[@M4x_P0w3r]

Because an unnervingly large amount of peopel are petty, self-centered, pretentious jerks that feel the need to make a big deal out of everything because if not then their lives lack purpose

[@KIKI-co1ue]

Didn't she do that ninja pose too though?

[@allinabj]

It’s not her culture. It’s honestly not that hard to understand. Your ancestors didn’t fight these battles for some random person to come up and say “wow this is cute I’m going to wear it because I can”. She didn’t wear it to some traditional festival she wore it because it was cute. Which is a shitty thing to do.

[@teilamckendry5729]

@@allinabj okay well in that case then I guess nobody else except British people can wear Victorian style dresses because they weren't part of the British industrial revolution, and you can't wear jeans either because your ancestors weren't working in mines in great Britain during the time period they were invented in, because that's cultural appropriation and people can't wear anything unless their ancestors made it. Also if your ancestors weren't working in the freezing temps in new york in the 1930s, sorry but you can't appreciate the comfort, style, and warmth of a hoodie. Sorry but that just isn't your ancestors ideas and styles so you can't wear it either, that would be pretty offensive ❤️

[@allinabj]

Teila Mckendry you’re obviously not getting what I’m saying. YOURE NOT GOING TO WEAR A KIMONO TO SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT ITS PRETTY AND YOU FEEL LIKE IT. YOU WILL NOT WEAR A HIJAB TO A FAMILY FUNCTION BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS STYLISH. Jeans ARE NOT a culture item, they’re not traditional items only spooked to one continent. And my fucking ancestors were most likely working on the fields during that time in America , because I’m black, so cheers to that :). It’s impossible to appropriate an article of clothing that has no culture or traditional aspects to it. It’s literally just Cotten sewn together, we don’t wear Victorian dress to formal occasions and we don’t wear hoodies and jeans to a wedding.

[@saltandpepper6288]

Lol okay so if my mother didn't have a C-section she would have had a stroke with me still unborn but I guess real moms just let themselves and their babies die 🤷‍♀️

[@monroe7532]

Salt!and Pepper C-section squad

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

“You’re just a teenage millennial d-dirtbag baby” is your next merch shirt

[@oli.4409]

Riley Burke eat avocado toast maybe with me

[@greenpandazz]

Wheatus - teenage dirtbag

[@oli.4409]

Cherry no joke

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

Livie any time dude

[@ItsBunnyBuns]

I WANT THIS, SLAZO

[@prizriz8214]

You're not a good drawer unless you are a boxlike storage compartment without a lid, made to slide horizontally in and out of a desk, chest, or other piece of furniture.

[@moth5655]

I’m just watching and I hear my google home say “okay here’s the definition of projection”

[@basicfanboi8596]

You aren't a real star wars fan if you can't name the producer's ex wife's niece's boyfriend's acquaintance's college neighbor.

[@danielferrusquia1724]

0:31 guess my mother was a failure for trying to prevent me from being DECAPITATED

[@danielferrusquia1724]

Watermelon Fox Baby Dan decided to be a little brat and face the entirely wrong direction

[@danielferrusquia1724]

Ryan Black She's not a Real Mother™

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

my mother isn’t a real mom. when the doctors saw i had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and she opted to have a c-section, she gave over her right as a mother. real moms shit their stillborns out of their pussies, and they LIKE IT

[@Super-wx6br]

Daniel Ferrusquia IV My mom got a B section when i was born

[@cheesebatto]

so was my mom for not wanting me to choke myself to death.

[@ShieniLicksOnLemons]

As someone who has scoliosis I can say right away that a desk job is SO MUCH WORSE for your back than a job where you move around. Unless you break something in your back, then a desk job causes so much more pain. Like I have had my muscles torn between my shoulder blades and it was the worst pain I've ever experienced (my vision flashed white when I had to change the gears while driving), but it has healed well enough that the muscles don't cause me trouble usually... And it didn't last long, the pain got better when I didn't have to do anything for a couple of days. But when I've had to sit in one place for hours on end I will get so bad lower back pain that nothing helps it, I can't sleep, I can't get comfortable, and it will last so long until I can crack the right spot which is always an adventure! Where in my broken ass spine is the problem today?!

[@ShieniLicksOnLemons]

Also right now my neck is the worst and I wanna snap my head off because at my work I constantly have to look down to see what I'm doing, the saddle chairs help and my lower back doesn't mind too much usually but my neck does not like the job one bit. Can't wait until my contract ends so I can have a fucking vacation of doing nothing but lying in bed with my cat and hopefully my bf can join from time to time

[@boiofkoi]

"Tofu is strictly for vegetarians and vegans." *me, a vegan-* no

[@jakeobryen101]

Citric Acid weird flex but ok

[@gjones9282]

69th like

[@srbijarusija5586]

Fuck you

[@superfupahecc]

if your boyfriend hasn't reclaimed the holy land at least once, then you have a girlfriend.

[@theolddeus9672]

think if your boyfriend hasnt commited a genocide, you have a girlfriend

[@snazzy9175]

*History of the Entire World I Guess flashbacks*

[@icurnvs776]

Deus Vult!! 🤴🏻

[@mnmssss]

If your boyfriend hasn't died on a cross and came back to life 3 days later at least ONCE, you have girlfriend

[@deusvult9362]

If your boyfriend hasn't ran a dictatorship at least once, then you have a girlfriend.

[@poopoonigga8164]

ur not a real slazo fan if your body isnt 110% clean water

[@ManjiChicken]

what the fuck did you just say about my waifu? But my body is 125% dirty water? How can I fix this??

[@annoyingroyalty3862]

What about angelo with aqua necklace, I'm pretty sure he's the biggest slazo fan

[@ragnorokgirl8920]

Excuse me? My body is 120% water, sir/ma'am. How can you call yourself a true fan?

[@ivanbreivik1263]

C L E A N

[@ratryox5667]

Teenager: My parents, siblings, and friends all died in a fire. I have to study for 4 tests. And I have to pay 200,000 dollars in debt Some dude who works in STEM: Laughs Teenager: dies STEM dude: *LAUGHS*

[@kokorolinkrun2943]

rip

[@xyrissavage4983]

Okay, with the ice cream one. "Killing non-human animals" that ice cream would have been eaten anyway, the animals would have died anyway, but, the child would have been sad. So. Yeah

[@addangel]

Lib :P sure, but production is based on the demands of the market, so creating less demand will ultimately result in a decrease of the number of animals raised for slaughter.

[@ashirokiba4867]

@@addangel yes, and leaving one child crying will definitely lower demand, and not just leave the child sad.

[@subzerootter8512]

I don't know of any ice creams that require "harming or killing non-human babies" in the first place. The closest thing I could think of would be if the recipe requires eggs, which isn't killing anything anyways because store eggs aren't fertilized.

[@aileentairi6936]

@@subzerootter8512 Technically milk "involves" killing since cows are constantly made pregnant, the resulting calf taken an way and often killed if it's a male. If that's what they're getting at. But I agree that trying to reduce the demand when a child is crying is the wrong approach.

[@subzerootter8512]

@@aileentairi6936 I'm pretty sure they use hormones to make the cow's body think it's pregnant and therefore produce milk, rather than actually having them constantly pregnant.

[@Shiva-ff5ue]

That one person acted as if vegans invented tofu, which is in fact Asian.

[@Gayjesus77]

Ok i know you mean asains invented tofu, but the way you said "is in fact asian" sounds like an insult "ugh dude thats so asian, get that shit outta here"

[@taqu]

That "how dare you eat tofu when you aren't vegan" argument makes zero sense to me. Wouldn't the world be a better place if more people ate more vegan food and less red meat (for ethical or environmental reasons, among others)? You don't have to have a _striclty_ vegan diet to be making a difference, even little things matter. It's not like the world is short on tofu. In fact, if more people ate vegan products, they would be more common and therefore cheaper for all! I know that person is clearly just a righteous prick who puts their own self image above any important cause they claim to be for, which is not representative of most vegans, but his/her train of thought is still sorely lacking in logic and common sense.

[@avenfantasy7498]

mmm red meat

[@cassandrabelyeu2419]

I had a vegetarian follow me around for months sending me 10-20 emails a day, stalking my lunch breaks at work, etc, and talking about how great PETA was, and trying to convince me meat-eating animals all go to Hell. (My childhood pets, specifically. He'd go on and on about them.) (I was a teenager at the time, if I'd been older I'd have known to contact the authorities.) PETA and the other vegetarians who kill animals needlessly are way creepier than the people who kill them for food, and that's the demographic these people speak for. Vegetarians like you who I assume don't stalk and kill things for twisted reasons should probably do something about PETA and your crazies, beyond letting us know you exist, too. I do appreciate that you think people are allowed to eat things like tofu.

[@msnobody9035]

taqu I don't like vegetables though

[@Lillukkainen]

Deciding to eat tofu for dinner instead of meat doesnt make a difference, the animal you were going to eat is still dead and the meat is in the store, small things dont always count. Also, cows get slaughtered even if their meat wasnt eatable. I like veg food for sure but my choices arent saving the planet, only if every meat producting company in china / america went down there would be a difference, small countries have no chance to change it, its a big process.

[@snazzy9175]

@@cassandrabelyeu2419 Ugh, reminds me of when I first started playing Sims 4 and there was this ONE HECKIN PERSON on the gallery. On almost every post I saw they were there commenting about how "Meat is murder" and saying to "Check out PETA on KZbin!" It often didn't even relate to the Sim/build! Once, I was downloading this nice zoo someone built. And they were there in the comments, saying "You shouldn't support real zoos because they're all cruel and evil and blah blah blah!" Yeah, I get that some zoos mistreat their animals and are cruel, but not most zoos. My local zoo is very ethical! People like this user infuriate me, because they are the reason we have these crazy, unfair stereotypes about vegans and vegetarians!

[@Stide000]

I had a 'friend' that was always vocally against C sections during her pregnancy. Then when it was time to have the kid she actually had to get one for medical reasons and she was so mad. She dropped shaming woman for c sections as far as I know since then. Now she shames people who don't breastfeed for years.

[@morgandougherty8761]

You aren't a real 90's kid unless you remember Louis XVI getting executed

[@brandonvistan7444]

You aren't a real 90's kid unless you remember Christopher Columbus' Landing in the Caribbean.

[@bupman2329]

You ain't a real 90s kid unless you seen the creation of man

[@brandonvistan7444]

You ain't a real kid unless you remember everything.

[@uisce_]

Brandon Vistan You aren't a real 90's kid unless you remember the Mesoproterozoic era.

[@brandonvistan7444]

TheLastKalos Well, you aren't a real 90's kid unless you remember the last time the Sahara wasn't a desert.

[@mboi8730]

Oh lord how can so many people feel this entitled that they invalidate the experiences of people they know nothing about. Prime example: I can become extremely nauseous if exposed to terrible smells. A neighbor was smoking heavily near me in the pool area at the apartment complex we were at. I politely asked them to put out the cigarette because the smell was giving me a headache, and they started ranting about “kids these days being such wusses that they can’t stand a little smoke”. Even after I explained how the smell affects me, they insisted I was just being “weak”. Self-entitlement, ladies and gentlemen.

[@ItsCosmoTewulf]

You're not a _real_ person if you use the term "real person".

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

Hi Michael thx for posting today my dog got hurt yesterday and I’ve been bummed but the notif saying you posted cheered me up

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

g00n Is Here thank you, he’s very tiny but very durable

[@jh-ol7yb]

How is he?

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

J Hunt he’s doing great, and loves the attention

[@shrimpsushi763]

How dare you. Don't you know that thousands of children die daily from terminal illnesses and starvation? They're the only ones allowed to be sad. (Just kidding, hope your dog gets better soon.)

[@strugglingopossumriley4994]

Shrimp Sushi fuck those kids & thank you hes feeling better

[@lilsaam]

That vegan doesn't even know what veganism is lol Any vegan would be overjoyed over any person that chooses to consume less meat and dairy

[@r.r815]

Sam 123 "veganism" sounds like a cult

[@once.upon.a.time.]

Sam 123 that's totally true. My co-workers like to tell me when they don't eat meat or if they don't eat pork or whatever and I'm just like whoo! You go guys!! 😃 Plus I buy non-vegan food for hungry people. People won't want to change if you're uppity and so stringent...

[@imtiredtiredtired]

"Tofu is strictly vegan food, you are misappropriating us". Lol tell that to the asian people who have been eating tofu dish WITH MEAT for millenia

[@PatManDX]

"Tofu is for vegans ONLY" Me and Asian ass: "...BINCH!"

[@danielamerino2470]

Exactly! I enjoy cooking vegan meals for my non vegan friends or family.

[@mkultrasoldier]

You're not a real slazo fan unless you secretly live in his closet and watch him sleep

[@0bstolerance]

...

[@time2letitallgonow]

I think I saw you from under his bed

[@ineptpacific5717]

I nearly gave away my hiding spot by laughing at this. Oh no I think he heard

[@workinprogress3863]

@@time2letitallgonow not a true da , you can't even watch him sleep from under his bed, normie

[@Cookivirus]

I live inside his walls

[@liberalaco829]

I think the chainsmokers one was a r/woosh

[@dobbstheelf2835]

Dakota Mapping Yes it was

[@stimcc9890]

Yea

[@TheBonkleFox]

r/atetheonion

[@candysmith3773]

I think the “poor” households one was illustrating how sometimes economic measurements don’t fully capture quality of life. Like households in poverty in many western countries today are like 20x as likely to own certain appliances than they were 70 years ago

[@Brynwyn123]

Candy Smith they're kind of essential, of course they do. People also complain about poor people owning smartphones but again, essential for modern living. Can't get a job without one.

[@brendanthedreamer]

Pretty much, as quality of life goes up, the definitions of "poor" change.

[@doziaye]

_Unable to watch video becasue I'm not a REAL KZbinr_

[@Nyx__]

Horse and carriage? Only 1760's kids remembers.

[@JoeDirtisawsome]

horse and carriage? we didnt even have wheels when i was a kid. 90,000's B.C.E kids remembers

[@dametucosita1650]

Walking? Haha, pathetic. Back in my day we hadn’t evolved legs! Only 400000000 BC kids remember.

[@Aplesedjr]

Czech Republic best Republic that’s nothing. I was space dust when I had to get places.

[@steviecopeland]

The concert one pisses me off bc most of the bands I listen to either broke up long ago or aren't complete (dead members).

[@yuh1955]

Same

[@somethingwildd]

The Big Chungus meme was dead before it was alive

[@emilycallahan4805]

Been abused by an older family member, father died when I was 8, friend died when I was 14, I have been professionally diagnosed with several mental disorders, and these disorders have caused me to fail my senior year so I have to go to summer school to graduate. But hey, I'm just a teenager. I have no right to complain. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@dobbstheelf2835]

Emily Callahan r/thathappened

[@I_love_dr_stone]

@@dobbstheelf2835 r/nothingeverhappens

[@dobbstheelf2835]

Mr. Sandman So you’re saying its a common occurrence for this to happen? Reaaaaallly....

[@ayakaasama]

ok

[@mattycake3411]

@@dobbstheelf2835 Breaking news: it is now impossible for teenagers to deal with the loss of friends and family or have diagnosed mental disorders that cause learning problems

[@ainsm216]

ur not a real slazo fan if ur water isn’t clean 😩😩💦💦💦

[@maryskuse3516]

It is apart from the excessive amount of chlorine.

[@melonboi927]

ainsley trash so slazo does t have any fans from Africa?

[@maryskuse3516]

They probably don't even have internet there. (or food)

[@cheryl1587]

slazhoes unite 💧

[@ainsm216]

Cheryl Kohl ARE WE SLAZHOES OR SLAZOSLUTS OR SLAZSLUTS

[@crypttechnikian]

7:12 well... I can hear my boyfriend from 4306 miles away... it's called skype. LOL

[@slightlynormal1485]

TheLaLaVae I can hear my boyfriend from... Wait... I dont have a boyfriend

[@Rijapega89]

*Slazo and Sorrow on the same day!*

[@lawgirl054]

Rijapega Memes hey I love your videos lol

[@Rijapega89]

Liana Wiley liana thanks so much for your support ;) glad to see some people enjoy them :D

[@zeeotter100]

Slarrow

[@ame7896]

Coincidence, I think not?

[@ItsBunnyBuns]

Sorrow's voices and singing makes him King.

[@icurnvs776]

IMHO most of these can be summed up with this: a tragic lack of empathy. The plague of ‘If it hasn’t happened to me or someone close to me, fuck em! They can rot for all I care’ has become widespread. Tellingly though, once something they previous derided does in-fact happen to them/loved ones, they tend to speak out and sometimes become quite vocal advocates. I’ve seen it with questions of treatment of disability and the disabled. I have both an Primary Immune (weak immune system not caused by a virus) and an autoimmune disease. (My immune system attacks my body) I had lost a friend because he and other people he knew going on my Facebook and calling me a lazy drain on the economy... until his brother developed a rather severe case of lupus. His Facebook page is now devoted to lupus awareness and the like. He ultimately apologized to me, however it just seems so sad that he developed any sort of empathy in that regard ONLY when it affected him in some way.

[@cookiecat7547]

Hate when people laugh at me or assume things just because I'm a teenager.

[@Fanrose2475]

Hey, you have emotional distress due to trying to cope with society's social standards? Peh, grow up kid.

[@useraccount6157]

Okay, for people saying "real fan" shouldn't be a term, you clearly don't know what it takes to be one 😂😂😂 there are THREE main rules to being a REAL fan of anything. 1. Enjoy the thing 2. Have fun with the thing 3. 👍🏽

[@RainbowSprinkles1001]

BigGay27 true. Fake fans exist, just not in a way that everyone thinks lmao

[@eevee1583]

BigGay27 👏👏👏👏👏

[@avenfantasy7498]

"Have fun with the thing" just gonna have fun with piper perri brb

[@Prince_Of_Fish]

i thought the hearing your boyfriend from 6 blocks away was referring to when men walk. if your boyfriend doesnt crack the pavement when he walks. you have a girlfriend.

[@darksev.6468]

If your boyfriend isn't big and green then you have a girlfriend.

[@TwelvetreeZ]

I thought it was a cum joke, but this is way funnier

[@princessfetus]

you're not a TRUE slazo fan unless you know how clean your water is

[@catberry460]

Princess of Trash what if you dont drink water

[@princessfetus]

Kobi • go back to discord kobi

[@catberry460]

You made me piss my pants thanks bean

[@eevee1583]

Princess of Trash TSUMUGI

[@jessicaglendale4279]

Oh you rode on horse and carriage? Back in my day, we walked barefoot through 30 feet of hot sandy snow in the middle of December with falcons swooping on us.

[@jimblesjoestar8741]

Teen: all my family died so I have no entertainment. I’m homeless and I have almost died 3 times this week. Non-teen: L A U G H N O I S E

[@maltheIDM]

#Slazhoes unite

[@mattsardina2815]

I mean I was 11 lbs and 22 in. I dont think I was coming out naturally lol

[@doziaye]

*_You're not a real man if you're not Atomic Man_*

[@deeg6837]

Atomic Man guess I'm a fake man '-'

[@Sickcrazyneet]

Atomic Man FUCK!

[@justicesteele2000]

Oh my god when he said “Okay google define projection” my google home started spouting out the definition and I nearly had a heart attack.

[@ash-wp6zt]

this video actually perfectly describes one of my 'friends' who is a captain in my school's band, she always says how i have no reason to complain for anything because she goes through so much and does it without complaining. she has gotten me so close to restarting bad habits of self-harming, its not fun. im not a strong person, the past few months have been terrible and she just makes it worse. i try my hardest to not complain and it leads to me being painfully selfless, its a lose-lose situation no matter how i try to deal with it. not to mention a lot of times she does this stuff, I'll be complaining about stuff i cant control like my physicak disability limiting me. some quotes: "oh, your wisdom teeth hurt? suck it up, I've played my instrument at a game and competition before with a mouth full of sores" "you get to sit around while we practice, i almost pass out all the time at practice, you shouldn't feel any strain!" (which i dont even sit much, only every 30 mjns or so gor a bit) "you can't complain about homework, i did all of world history, chemistry, AND algebra 2 in freshmen year without complaining." i wish she would just leave me alone, or that id get the courage to finally free myself of this world, it hurts to always be put down, so far I've been too weak to go through it though. i know numerous people want me gone, one day i finally will be.

[@brittpersson9499]

Your not depressed....... Your distracted , so get your goals done or UHHH!??

[@Mary1337]

Erhopper I don't have tea and cookies

[@TechTchno]

Erhopper that one pissed me off

[@speiluhr126]

To the first post yeah... my daughter and I might have died if we "just pushed through It my daughter's head was too big to fit through my pelvis

[@tiajoseph7309]

People like them don't understand things like that. It's too complicated for them to comprehend.

[@ResidentMilf]

My son's head got stuck at a weird angle. We could have both died, too.

[@cheesebatto]

my sister and i were born through a c-section because my mom also didn't have the perfect body to give birth 'naturally.' also i almost choked myself to death with the umbilical cord two days before the scheduled date.

[@r.r815]

Mar's Bananana Shenanigans you know I always wondered what the hell women did before C sections, like did they just scream as her and her unborn child die?

[@kaitlinarnold5105]

boomboy b C-sections have been around for possibly thousands of years. C-sections where the baby wasn’t just being being ripped out of the mother’s dying womb on the slim chance it might still survive have been around for much less time. Since 1794 to be exact. And to answer your question, they died, from blood loss. And the baby died too, from suffocation. While still inside the mother.

[@foranzo1582]

The level of sarcasm in his voice is golden. I love these videos xD

[@uwu1234-i6j]

"Tofu is only for vegans and vegetarians!! And you're appropriating us by eating it!!" You wanna tell that to the entire country of Japan as you claim their food as something you invented?

[@pavloverboy]

You aren't a real artist if you don't draw with $1000 art supplies. You aren't a real soccer player if you haven't played a game with Ronaldo and Messi. You aren't a real music fan if you don't own every gold record in the world. You aren't a real food lover of you haven't dined at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. You aren't a real human if you don't have O- blood and breathe only the purest air from the woods.

[@onnika2161]

If you’re too stressed you should upload less. Maybe going to twice a week would help? Your videos have been great recently but if it’s taking a toll on you you should take a rest

[@octarians]

"You aren't depressed" But I have depression

[@xenotiic8356]

Fitting username.

[@AnimePlaysMinecraft]

That vegan one really annoys me, people should just be what they want without enforcing it on others. Half my family is vegetarian, but I don't try to get them to eat meat and they don't try to get me to stop. In fact, being careful and appreciative is way better - like them ordering a pizza with meat on it for me or me making sure sweets that I buy and meals I prepare for the family can be eaten by everyone.

[@morronsoup2372]

exactly! tough i do understand why vegans do this- as a vegan myself, we have a very deep caring for the animals that exist only to suffer and end up as food, but i'm not that kind of vegan who goes and yells about it, my boyfriend ain't vegan, and i'm fine with that, i do try to fight for my cause- but in a relaxing way, then and now pointing out things that can change the opinion of a meat eater or a vegeterian to turn away from meat, milk, eggs, so on, but i never really force em, i let em think on what i say and if they wanna eat meat or drink milk? i'm ok with that! live how ya wanna live in the end

[@phuck8627]

and it's not like meat eaters never shove meat in vegans faces and try to force them to eat it (sarcasm)

[@morronsoup2372]

Phuck You :-( sadly my father tries to get me not to be vegan, luckily my mother as a raw vegan doesn't let him :-) no one should be forced to eat only one way

[@cassandrabelyeu2419]

It isn't acceptable, of course, for meat-eaters to push their lifestyles on you, but you have a literal organization to kidnap and euthanize peoples' pets because they can't think of any purpose for animals but to be used and abused. You're trying to enact change as a group, like a religion, but without discouraging any ways of seeking that change, (like by telling people it's against your beliefs to do certain things in the name of your beliefs) and so the loudest vegans/vegetarians will do the most extreme things, and they do currently speak for you, by announcing themselves as vegetarians/vegans and saying they love animals. You could try splitting into groups by how you believe change should be implemented, and have a written list of these rules or stances for your group, like a religion, so that people know you aren't the same people who murdered their dog, and you never seem to condone it. It would also help with actually stopping animal cruelty or unnecessary death if you signed off on a general plan written down somewhere.

[@Silverwind87]

Anime Deamon And how can you shit on someone giving a child ice cream? Pretty easily, as long as that shit has enough veganism to fertilize soil.

[@DwynTwo]

"When you hear teenagers complain about literally anything" Right. It's not like being a teenager is one of the most confusing times of your life, not to mention really stressful and bad for your mental health because often times you're insecure about literally everything.

[@uforad170]

You're a real slazo fan? Name his 5 favorite water brands.

[@uforad170]

[wipes brow] fuck he's real boys

[@Fanrose2475]

@@uforad170 *[sweats profusely]* back the fuck up man, he's reaching

[@riew]

This content is too *C L E A N*

[@potato_aim]

The tofu one ticks me off. Aside from the over-triggered responses, tofu was invented by the Han Chinese (who were definitely not vegans). And it's still a traditional Chinese ingredient for many meals. So all people who cook traditional Chinese meals are apropriating vegan culture. Flawless logic :D

[@rompevuevitos222]

6:20 so she thinks that cows must be killed to extract the milk from them? making vegan ice cream would render cows less useful for milk extraction and more for "meat extraction" wich would defeat the purpose

[@Brynwyn123]

NANCOK most of the time calves are taken away to be raised as veal so the cows can be milked (because, you know, the valves drink most of it otherwise)

[@rompevuevitos222]

yeah, but does she prefer that they are killed instead?

[@post-modernistcaligula4811]

NANCOK uhhhh..... that doesnt make any sense. just because we dont want milk anymore doesnt mean we want more meat instead. those two things are seperate needs, even if they come from the same source. beef is not replacement for dairy. its the most basic principle of demand in economics: we only kill if we want to kill. we literally dont have to slaughter any cows if there is no demand for it.

[@triangulum8869]

It’s just like the peta tards saying shaving sheep kills them

[@rompevuevitos222]

PETA is just a joke by now

[@Fatman-1945]

Thats so mental. "You're not a fan because you've never been to a show." I have never been to a concert and love a lot of bands and support them by buying merch and their albums. I have gotten this thrown at me so many times.

[@f.b.i756]

5:56 I’m so mad because the person complaining has a blue background on their message, and it’s to the right. Which means the person who wrote that took the screenshot.

[@kingani]

cool

[@pal1d1nl1ght]

Neat

[@jollynolly6350]

Awesome

[@lupy5121]

agreed.

[@yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole]

good

[@gluhhhver]

superb

[@mjod3668]

You're not a real fan if you breathe

[@rickjohnson1719]

Real niggas photosynthesize

[@mnmssss]

Haha jokes on your I'm not breathing im a true f

[@Grammymlw]

Shithan agreed

[@sergejprizdisrac6884]

@@mnmssss you alive?

[@tallahriehl8220]

Not a real fan if you're alive.

[@leomnidusofsparta]

I can explain the joke at 7:14, even though it'll ruin it. She means if you can't hear your boyfriend's (probably a cousin) big ole diesel truck rev from far away, he's not a real man. Cause in Hicktown, USA (like where I live) that's actually valued.

[@tiajoseph7309]

Move as soon as you can.

[@leomnidusofsparta]

Its one of those small villages (yes, a fucking village) in the country that people love thinking about, when in reality its filled with racism, homophobia, bigotry, the whole nine yards.

[@post-modernistcaligula4811]

thats........ jesus CHRIST thats dumb

[@ST-bm7rg]

Hicktown USA, land of glasspack mufflers and confederate flags amiright

[@beepbeeplettuce2779]

PRAISE THE LORD STONE THE GAYS

[@sunnymemesicle514]

the first one- my mom almost died having me and got a 4th degree tear which is the worst one. she had a c section for her second child. yup, not strong at all. (ok i know it sounds fake but i’m being serious)

[@jakeystarsuper]

I believe you my mom had a c section too with my brother

[@rosey6550]

Omg slazo I’m sure other people have said this, but I was watching this next to my google home, so when you said that, my google home started reciting the definition of projection and it scared the shit out of me.

[@mrfredo6387]

You are not a real slazo fan unless your water is clean

[@partyparker7705]

You're not a TRUE Slazo fan unless your water is clean.

[@godisjihyo3615]

“1970-2006” me and my parents are the same generation 🧐

[@MrJeff-jd1jv]

The thought of someone not having tea and cookies upsets me and keeps me up at night.

[@aTF2player]

Oh you had a horse and carrage? I had to propell myself with my tongue

[@thecrocco5572]

This was almost titled "R/Gatekeeping: The Vegan Edition"

[@blockblock376]

Omg the person that wants to go to the front of the line 🙈 just don’t have kids then 🙈 or go make your own coffee at home 😂😂

[@m.ivyluna4632]

sim.saurus i feel like that HAD to be one of those “dont talk to me before my coffee” jokes 😂 If not... her coffee addiction is worse then mine..... and i work in a kitchen in the early morning 😂

[@RottenDoctorGonzo]

and they said, "You're 22 and slept 10 hours last night". Bitch, what? In my city many girls have had kids by 22. Just another knobhead who thinks one shouldn't have kids before.

[@sketchingstudio5552]

Those beard pics look like thumbs with wigs

[@Shibby_EUNE]

Omg at 10:22 right when slazo finished that sentence a notification from a top 10 channel saying “top 10 funniest moments of 2018” I am crying

[@feartheghus]

The chains,overs fan one is probably a joke using wordplay and the simple fact that being a chains over is an amazing way to die of either cancer .

[@thisisweirderthanyou9855]

8:12 5 lightyears tall. Guess I'm not a man

[@grizzlyowlbear3538]

You're not a man _You're a galaxy_

[@rosetum6831]

vegan: is sushi *vegan* me: i think vegan: uGh gO aWaY yOu fAkE vEgAn me: i eat me- vegan: i dONT cARREERRWRARSRCARACARDA