r/insanepeoplefacebook Top Posts | Reddit's Craziest

[@ninjamaster9094]

Shakespeare looked at the moon Beethoven looked at the moon Einstein looked at the moon All of those people are dead The moon is killing everyone

[@ogiesiem]

Dang moon.

[@matthiaslener2763]

You know what every person that died breathed air. Conclusion air kills people.

[@otterfan65]

everyone who’s ever drank water or ate food has died

[@NxSBob.]

Everyone who has ever made contact with water has died. It’s definitely the water.

[@Platin_2004]

If you let your kids near the moon, IT'S MURDER

[@xPoemi]

To the thing with the cat collar: I'm a vet student and it's sadly not unusual that cats are getting brought to us who strangulated themselves to death with their collar. Since cats often squeeze themselves trough tiny gaps, fences or vegetation it is very possible for the collar to get tangled up in something. The cats will then panic and hurt or even kill themselves in the process of trying the free themselves. Collars on cats can be fine but only if they don't need any strenght to be opened or ripped by the cat. But I would recommend to chip your cat and just don't use collars at all.

[@maxllon]

xPoemi where i live they require us to have a collar with a tag on it that shows theyre registered :( i got my cat a collar that automatically breaks off though when pressure is against it

[@jgr_lilli_]

We have always just had collars with a weak snap buckle that would break open as soon as there's pressure exercised to it. As a result, our cats always took them off themselves. LoL

[@andreasuten1012]

Unless the owners buy collars made for dogs, cat collars shouldn't be a problem. Especially the stretch ones are super safe. If you've ever tried to hold a scared cat (I'm vet student too), you know how easily they could escape if their collar allowed for being stretched open even just a tiny bit.

[@lethallightning2]

Well I mean my cat is an indoor only cat, so would that still be bad

[@Silverwind87]

You mean surgically implant a tracking device into their brain? That's even worse!

[@bearshunnypot302]

6:09 what the actual fuck... When my cat was a kitten, he kept on losing his collars. We bought him at least 15 collars or something. Does... Does this lady live in my neighborhood??

[@ceasarsaladjesus4204]

My cat took his off

[@MuttFitness]

Cats need a harness not a collar

[@tealeafgreen8505]

@@MuttFitness no they don't

[@mothmadi_]

tea leaf green If a cat gets out of a collar regularly then possibly

[@Maddie-ri8ct]

Our cat went through like 10 collars in a month and then we found out that someone who lived behind us was taking them off because they thought someone had put a collar on a stray. He wasn’t a stray, he just didn’t enjoy washing himself.

[@thryke9919]

"Cancer is your body trying to save you" tell this to me, a guy that has skin cancer and bleeds out of back of his head every few hours

[@simongregory9453]

Tbh it's probably better to just ignore stupid arguments like this, don't give their proponents the satisfaction of the attention they crave. He's talking rubbish, I hope you can get better soon 😔 I can't imagine what you're going through, but keep fighting 👍

[@maliaw5481]

Ikr this irked me so much. I’m 18 in a month, but my oncologists have said that if I even make it that far it’ll be a miracle. My cancer isn’t trying to save me - it’s the reason I won’t live to see myself turn 18. It’s the reason I won’t get to watch as my baby brother grows up, or see my best friends finally achieve their goals in life. If that soggy lampshade had cancer, I doubt she’d still feel it’s trying to ‘save’ her.

[@davymachinegun5130]

*OOF*

[@thesnuggler9606]

That girl is a complete fucktard. Ignore that bullshit. You probably hear this all the time, but stay positive. All the best to you.

[@woods2424]

@Onion Cutter Ninja it doesnt have feels, it makes feels

[@Jman0163]

3:53 THERE ARE ONLY TWO GENDERS: GAY AND SOLDIER

[@sophian9105]

Shrexual Tension Your username is a gift.

[@ilexdiapason]

Shrexual Tension this is gay soldier erasure

[@SmartAlec1]

*kas :* Gay soldier is known as "trans" thank you very much.

[@ilexdiapason]

Smart Alec well in the metaphor it would be bigender sooo

[@dirtcola5286]

Steer and queer

[@wickedamoeba8719]

Monsters come out of the closet. Pants come from the closet. PANTS ARE EVIL!!!!!

[@redwolfe3343]

Wicked Amoeba RUN!

[@badgaming538]

brick house you can't. THERE ALL READY EATING YOUR LEGS

[@angrytheclown801]

If you have a closet as a pantry like I do, eventually you have to come...out...I'm evil!

[@griffinh.966]

Monsters come out of the closet. Shirts come out of the closet. SHIRTS ARE EVIL!!1!11!1!!

[@realname9042]

Wicked Amoeba Gay people also come out of the closet! Pants are gay!!!1!!!

[@Aussie1968]

I am soooo grateful that in Australia, no unvaccinated child is allowed to go to daycare, kindergarten, primary school etc.. UNTIL the parent has medical certification that the child/rens have been vaccinated!!!

[@jackstledger2961]

Aussie 1968 that’s not true, I live in Australia and I went to daycare and I wasn’t vaccinated

[@Aussie1968]

Squid Spike Private Daycare? Or pre kindergarten school linked Daycare?

[@Aussie1968]

Squid Spike I would be curious to know how long ago was it that you went to daycare? (Had a huge long winded explanation which I deleted as I then found my daycare requirement forms, so thought this would be easier: The Public Health Act 2010 contains requirements for child care facilities (early childhood education and care centres), which include that directors of child care facilities are to be provided with a "vaccination certificate on enrolment of each child". Parliament has passed a Bill to amend the Public Health Act, including amendments to the section on responsibilities of child care facilities.... So no, I am not wrong...

[@Aussie1968]

@@davidlennyman444 It was not my intention to be disrespectful... But ummm why would I reply with a "F"?? What does that mean?

[@Aussie1968]

@@davidlennyman444 ohhh got it! ..... damn I am sooo old lol!

[@FishCatsu]

3:18 The logic is absolutely amazing lmao “Periods come from the uterus, but SO DO BABIES” “Jam comes out of a jar, BUT SO DOES PEANUT BUTTER” “Light comes out of a fire, BUT SO DOES HEAT”

[@alexander_yoko]

:)))

[@yoink2163]

He protecc He attacc But most importantly.... He angry reacc

[@ApsDong]

I'm laughing so hard at the cucumber vinegar post. How dense do you have to be to make an analogy like that and think you sound clever?

[@JeevesAnthrozaurUS]

"See, you can't put the two liquids together, because then you'll get...just the two liquids combined? Wait, what're we arguing? Some shit with pickles? You put two cucumbers together you just get...two cucumbers? And that's, uh...gay?" What flavor of Tide Pods would you need to eat to think that's a good idea for a metaphor?

[@OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa]

You'd think they'd have clued in to that when they realised that they'd just written "two vinegar things" in an attempt to talk down to people.

[@LolKirby100]

They could have used a seatbelt as an example

[@RalphInRalphWorld]

Jeeves Anthrozaur Every tide pod has two flavors. Check mate.

[@mothturtle7897]

Who ever heard of a jar with more than one pickle in it?! Madness!

[@Destructocorps]

They're mixing up chicken pox and measles. You don't give your child measles unless you want to play the brain damage roulette.

[@AfterAll1021]

Destructocorps That’s my favorite game

[@kayraaa2646]

Isn't Russian Roulette also Brain Damage Roulette? I mean, 7.62x38mmR thru your cranium isn't safe, I guess...

[@fynnla.e]

Kayraa2 That's why I only use the top quality .500 Magnum pistols to prevent brain damage

[@RalphInRalphWorld]

Destructocorps Let's expose our children to chicken pox, so that when they're 60, they'll get shingles! Having burning, rashy skin is so much better than those autism-causing vaccines! /s

[@Destructocorps]

RalphInRalphWorld You can't be vaccinated against chicken pox, which is one reason some people think it's a good idea to spread it, the fact that chicken pox can be lethal to adults is another reason, it's a type of herpes though, so you don't develop an immunity like people think, you just carry it for life, as you said, although often without symptoms. There's no modern technology that can cure or vaccinate against any herpes, as antivirals and the immune system can't reach the last traces in the spinal fluid from which it can multiply endlessly, it's a pretty depressing thing to be honest. Although shingles suck they're not half as bad as low functioning autism.

[@risingfalcon]

as someone who's both heterosexual and religious, the cringe of those anti-gay sites is so much worse when I think I could have ended up like that in an alternate universe

[@wizzy5702]

If your religious then you have to be heterosexual...

[@risingfalcon]

not true tho. there are religions that don't highlight heterosexuality as the norm.

[@Vick_or_somethin]

@@wizzy5702 lol I'm gay and religious.

[@meepermoppers8523]

Neat! I'm still questioning but also kinda religious (not Christian tho). Too bad in where I am because homophobia and transphobia is pretty rampant

[@EvilRaccoonDM]

@@risingfalcon the entire ancient greek pantheon is a good example of this.

[@nexinex6049]

He protect He attack But most importantly He the boi who react

[@hajohoekstra3646]

Yikes

[@1millionwaters154]

Attacc** protecc***

[@lucca3113]

nexi nex *attac*

[@noyourebadatblops6503]

*MERCY*

[@meadowf3940]

nexi nex he protecc He atacc But most of all, Pee is stored in the balls

[@Lady_Crispr]

"What if disease is just your body trying to save you?" I dunno? What if unicorns start flying out of my ass and I find out its a portal to another dimension filled with angry frogs in small pants? Both are equally as likely.

[@reikenator]

Picket Pants i would like to see a dimension beholding small angry frogs wearing tiny pants

[@bobsponge6062]

I told u bro I told u about the stairs me too man

[@badgaming538]

Picket Pants mom is this you?

[@Lady_Crispr]

Lyle Nelson Shhhh don't tell anyone.

[@badgaming538]

Picket Pants dear god

[@oniondust]

people in 1955: "HOLY SHIT VACCINES ARE AVAILABLE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I'M SO EXCITED FOR MY KIDS NOT TO DIE I'M GONNA WAIT IN LINE FOR AGES TO MAKE SURE MY KIDS GET VACCINATED HURRAY!" (that's the historically accurate version)

[@Darknight4434]

Here in Brazil, we almost got in internal war cause people were scared of vaccines in a state in the first time it was available, and the government was trying to push it really hard (not anti-vaccin here, just saying isnt that simply)

[@oniondust]

Tranquil Downpour true but I don't think that necessarily makes the excitement people (in America) felt about the vaccines of the 1950's any less strong. People really did wait in long long queues for their turn.

[@lionkor98]

Measles parties are literally the same as a measles vaccine, just crude and somewhat less reliable.

[@hafor2846]

And most normal people would still wait in lines. Just as there were skeptics back in the day. Probably much more then nowadays. Just bc the internet makes the loonies more visible doesn't mean they're more numerous...

[@oniondust]

Vys Erion would they line up round the block like this was the new iPhone or something? no, probably not, but that's what they did in the 50's.

[@giraffeparty0]

Kid: *gets vaccinated* Kid: *gets shot in the head* r/insanepeoplefacebook: yep it was definitely bc of the vaccines!

[@spicybiscuit5530]

Have you seen that post where a parent blamed their child getting hit by a car on the "metal" in vaccines, because apparently it made their child "magnetic".

[@giraffeparty0]

@@spicybiscuit5530 wth lmfaoooo

[@hellspawnstudios]

@@spicybiscuit5530 I... I don't... what?!

[@aaaaaah7604]

He was shot in the head with the vaccine.

[@dooderbug2437]

Dentist: NO ITS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T FLOSS

[@plaguedoctorravennotscp0496]

If you get jealous over a pet getting attention then you have reached a new low.

[@sanghelian]

Dread Wolf Lord of Yami r/nicegirls

[@plaguedoctorravennotscp0496]

How interesting lets see how far I can get this.

[@plaguedoctorravennotscp0496]

Also i'm not a girl btw.

[@avocadovigilantes6195]

You're a guy? Damnit!

[@wurmturm]

You can't be at a new low if you've never been at a high though?

[@hespenworst]

1955 *uses picture of woman dressed in 1920/1930 fashion* Lol k

[@Oliviagarry69420]

Roronoa Jolien I was wonder that why did that lady look like something from the 1920s

[@binita4672]

Roronoa kk logic

[@claudefrollo3378]

Maybe she likes to wear...vintage things? maybe?

[@otakamerd1220]

Olivia Animations The Dead from Polio look was quite fashionable in those days

[@ConstantChaos1]

It's cuz antivaxers travel backwards in time, as made obvious by the fact that they deny basic science

[@LangostaV76]

His eye-bags are his most iconic aspect

[@lizzylies2073]

valentin acosta Then you havnt seen mine

[@buttersquids]

WOOSH

[@klein6899]

Go to hakoom's channel, his eye bags are on another level

[@drainedclouds2799]

They’re nothing compared to me and my friends.

[@alana9205]

That's just the tip of the iceberg

[@ender1853]

1969: Humans Walk On The Moon 2018: *"tHe MoOn lAnDINg wAs FAked!!!"* 2032: *you believe in the moon??*

[@goatsecheeks]

It's funny because you think the fake moon landing theory spawned in 2018

[@alexander_yoko]

God forbid

[@seisogaijin3749]

revision to this: 2019: normal people: "haha, the moon is fake lol" crazy people: "It is!!" 2019 was really when the convergence of peoples jokes an crazy peoples beliefs converged.

[@42LMS]

*Cough cough Jacksfilms

[@colindelabie9734]

Mr. Miacis he wasn’t lying

[@desulek7835]

"You can only make pickles with vinager" And then what happens They both turn salty

[@lpawowp]

i cant think of a creative name ugphpdotz you can make pickles in brine that whole thing made no sense ... Nice name btw

[@Kay_213_]

Gabriel Reid. Yeah...but ya can also just use vinegar. Brine and vinegar are pretty similar too. ... Hi! Welcome to the joke!

[@MissCaraMint]

In a choice between me and his cat, my boyfriend would chose the cat. I respect that.

[@sanghelian]

MissCaraMint in any "its either me or x" guys choose the "x". You REALLY dont want to date someone that posessive and controlling...

[@p0mp0mpurin]

who wouldn’t pick a cat? (a non cat obsessed person but lets ignore that) cats are fab.

[@roblux4880]

I would never trust my husband if I didn't knew that between me and the dogs, he'd choose the dogs. So do I. I come and say "get rid of it/them" and you go YES MA'AM? You're a pathetic excuse for a human being.

[@roblux4880]

@@sanghelian uhm WUT?

[@sanghelian]

@@roblux4880 does it make a difference to say im drunk off my ass atm?

[@imv_3641]

*ANGERY* reacc

[@todd1985]

Only one of them

[@CarmelPowell]

Hello sir, yes may I have 1 angry reacc pls.

[@SebTsch]

Top 10 angery anime characters

[@stewart2759]

enjeri reeeackshun

[@ntstag5370]

IMV _ I

[@ItsBunnyBuns]

It makes me really disappointed that fricken *Kat Von Dee* (sp?) is an anti-vaxer. She's about to have a baby soon, and she's very open about the fact that she will NEVER VACCINATE HER KID. You can check her Instagram, and the pics' comments are filled with the same mindset. She's not giving her child a chance to live a full life, because her beliefs are more important.

[@Kay_213_]

That’s depressing

[@Zawaaaa]

Preach

[@Emilyjadeofficial]

im not very good at overwatch Veganism is supported as completely healthy for all life stages by the American Dietetics Association, if done correctly there is absolutely no concern over babies/children’s health. Therefore I have no issue with her raising her child on a plant-based diet. However, when someone chooses not to vaccinate their child, they are KNOWINGLY exposing their children to a whole host of horrible and deathly diseases which vaccinations are proven to basically completely eradicate one’s chance of getting. I think that is just horrible, and a risk I personally would not want to take

[@Emilyjadeofficial]

im not very good at overwatch Totally :) me too

[@bigghugges5684]

Wait what? I know shes been a little off her rocker since the whole Jeffree thing but...wow that makes me not want to support her lol

[@Purpelspy]

replaying that 'thank you' at 6:23

[@StarVsTheOutside]

shy shy shy, bitches * 6:24

[@Purpelspy]

Star vs. The Outside 'thank you'

[@Hercutepup1]

Muh ovaries

[@12...]

Someone make a gif out of 6:23 to 6:25 Oh wait it's not 2003 anymore.

[@cdhjnvgjfwgsxbjgtkur4080]

Nice Jeongyun pfp

[@wierdoeddye]

The one at 10:10 is even funnier when you realize their privacy is set so only people they're already friends with can see that post

[@kuba8713]

damn that water is clean

[@AK-jl2wm]

jkry.z *not this again*

[@girlonfilm6505]

Boy that comment is clean

[@euphie1696]

Real clean shit

[@BoopAB]

shit is not clean

[@august4476]

*DAMN THAT WATER LOOKS CLEAN*

[@BeccaUveges]

As someone who survived cancer, the cancer post offended me so bad i started to cry out of anger. Let someone say this to/near/in the vicinity of me i would need to be bailed out of jail.

[@thekagawalife2081]

BeccaUveges I am so sorry. Do you want a hug?

[@diogoferreira6494]

My mom lost the fight against cancer yesterday..

[@kaitlynism]

@@diogoferreira6494 LOL OMG LMFAO ONGGGG 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@josefien4938]

@@kaitlynism what the fuck is wrong with you?

[@MrEli-li1hp]

@@kaitlynism you actual hole your parents failed to raise you and you're a disgrace to creations.

[@brutusthebear9050]

That anti gay thing seems like parody or, worse, deliberately made to make a strawman. No way a real one would use a quote by Hitler.

[@OnEiNsAnEmOtHeRfUcKa]

You know, I really hope you're right about that.

[@rossbloom6490]

Brutus the Bear if you look at the context, the quote from Hitler serves to compare scientists who say being gay isn’t a choice to Hitler. Yes they’re that dumb.

[@85Caity180]

It’s a satire page.

[@Brynwyn123]

You'd be surprised how many people are cool with Hitler quotes when they support their opinions

[@brutusthebear9050]

Al Funcoot Being cool with and putting on your front page are two seperate things.

[@heinokunzelmann8967]

You forgot the most actually insane thing ever on that sub: (Read with caution) There was a literal psychopath in the making who tried to replicate that rat-exo-skeleton from the Pickle Rick episode from Rick&Morty. Apparently rats weren't stable enough for him, so he went out to hunt a racoon and used its parts instead. He then put a pickle with a drawn on face in the middle of the mangled carcass, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. And he said he left it in his room for a couple of weeks to marvel at what he had created. Absolutely horrific...

[@JeevesAnthrozaurUS]

*I M P I C K L E R I C K*

[@silverfangmoonhunter]

You just don't understand enough theoretical physics to grasp his genius, you buffoon.

[@Jepicus]

Heino Kunzelmann Idk, sounds like a fun little project to me

[@hugoj.r.8684]

sauce

[@Lorenzo-bo7id]

That wasn’t horrific that was science

[@AdzSONLINE]

"Magnets aren't people" That should be a t-shirt

[@HateshWarkio]

"People aren't magnets but you sure are repulsive"

[@DefinitelyNotJay3705]

Legit

[@appleslice4412]

I'd buy that

[@eegma5596]

2:00 A tip for those who seek to push unpopular opinions into masses: MAYBE don't start off your argument with a Hitler quote. Just a thought.

[@emptywindexbottle97]

I mean he was kind of wise though, don't get me wrong he's dirt under my shoe but he did write one of the most popular books and he did go to art school

[@DrBrightIsBack]

@@emptywindexbottle97 Didn't he fail art school?

[@emptywindexbottle97]

Dr. Bright well yes but it still means he was very keen on art and wanted to paint for a living

[@DrBrightIsBack]

@@emptywindexbottle97 okey...

[@emptywindexbottle97]

@@DrBrightIsBack just sayin...

[@userrdm14]

thank you for sacrificing ur sleep for the slazhoes, Slazo.

[@shlomp2849]

SLAZHOES

[@girlonfilm6505]

S L A Z H O E S

[@userrdm14]

Wingardium Leviosa even he said that he prefers Slazhoes

[@sarahevamarie9286]

nice pfp !

[@grimmreapergaming5858]

Slazo Suckers 4 life

[@littlewendigo5055]

And oh my god, that girl vs cat problem... You have to be a terrible person to think about suggesting your loved one that they should get rid of their animal best friend. The guy should get rid of this stupid girl

[@purrecioustabby630]

Little Wendigo I know right? Like the bitch is jealous of a freakin cat!

[@littlewendigo5055]

Purrecious Tabby Well I hope the cat did not feel offended by being treated on the same level with that girl

[@MissCaraMint]

Yeah my guy would keep the cat

[@m_hat5782]

I would dump her and adopt another cat.

[@generalotto2557]

Dump her and collect a cat with her name to replace her

[@Pikarindia]

ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵇᶦᵍ ᶜᵃᶰᵈᶫᵉ⋅

[@Pikarindia]

YOU DUMBASS magic

[@TheVibes101]

*THATS A SMALL TEXT*

[@untrustworthybagel]

*T H A T ' S A B I G C A N D L E*

[@mpw26]

-I can do this-

[@dylancangie2161]

holie Hecc

[@dominickeijzer5844]

"Cancer is your body trying to save you." About that... * Cough that sounds kinda like "My grandpa died of cancer"* Flatheads, we must put our differences aside to defeat a new enemy.

[@PanosPitsi]

My father died when I was three years old. According to the post, I guess I need to do my own research and come to the conclusion that all these mutated cells inside his body were actually trying to save him.

[@dominickeijzer5844]

WE MUST STAND UP AND FIGHT!

[@minjaarsic3327]

I guess my bone cancer because of which I'll need to have my lower leg amputated is trying to save me from.... Having all my limbs? I feel saved.

[@dominickeijzer5844]

WE NEED LIMBS.

[@jaidenrae3715]

I’m sorry

[@caseywinehouse777]

I dated a dude who was jealous of my cat, George. We broke up when I got another one lmao

[@fressejetzt840]

Good u do not deserve humans in your live

[@maverick885]

Despacito

[@ShrutiSinha]

midget_beatles another cat or dude?

[@bananadirt7670]

midget_beatles probably cuz of vaccines

[@anarchi4791]

Cancer is mutated cells that have not been taken care of by apoptosis. When someone is talking about furthering their research and opening their minds, they first need to do their own research.

[@silverbrumbyfan]

'When I see a cat with a collar I always take it off' I'm sorry what. You're admitting to picking up someone's cat, taking off its collar and throwing it away, a collar which someone else has paid for and which also might be a flea collar or one to help them get through their catflap and you think that's a good thing. I don't bother putting collars on my cats anymore because they lose them on their own, they don't need anyone's help to remove them trust me and if I found out that was why the cat came back without his collar I'd be fucking furious. And that idiot girlfriend jealous over a cat, its a cat. Cats are cute and fluffy and the guy had lived with the cat for several years. Of course he's going to be affectionate towards it. And no he's not going to get rid of it because you asked him to. The internet is a scary place but at least its a place where complete morons admit to crimes thinking they can get away with it because its Facebook

[@woods2424]

yeah like, in most cases the collar is needed. Such as a flee collar like you mentioned or if an indoor cat escapes, the owner most likely has their number or address on it so the cat can be returned

[@SupHapCak]

Collars also have those little tags that say if a cat has been given its shots so they don’t make it sick with another one.

[@legerdemain444]

I think cats should have to have collars and be registered by law, same as dogs do here. We have a huge feral cat problem thats decimating native wildlife yet authorities can't do anything because "what if the cats they're picking up are someone's pets?"

[@GeriStrawberry]

The only reason anyone should take a collar of an animal is if its a known stray. Yes, they usually can take them off by themselves, but most times with cats, it gets caught on something and they are hung or choked to death from their collar. I believe if you have an outdoor cat, its best to get them Microchipped instead of having a collar on them, so its safer on their exploration half. But. I do agree with you that it is a dick move to just pick up a healthy cat and be like "there you go, Mr.Whiskers, now you're free!"

[@Arcanabungus]

Wtf why is he petting the cat. He should be petting me.

[@foxyloxyBABE]

Petting a certain part of me ;) ehehe

[@stellacashman8614]

I *knew* Mike and Sully were gay.

[@electricwaster]

Stella Blue Who didn't?

[@MissCaraMint]

But Mike had a girlfriend. He’s obviously bi.

[@paladinboyd1228]

TigerMunchy, So Sully is a bear? A power top? Power bottom? Pillow biter?

[@FuzBrain]

The guy with the jealous girlfriend needs to get rid of her, the cat's worth it.

[@RainbowSprinkles1001]

Fuzbrain YES

[@lukejreid]

Never try and stick your cucumber in a RAM hole. It doesn't end well.

[@jbowman1018]

Luke Reid but it sounded exactly like what it was made for!

[@JimLStone]

You need to pour vinegar in the ram hole before you stick the cucumbers in

[@chrissikes7885]

Worked fine for me.

[@stupiddumbanimation-6307]

Why would say that though

[@angrytheclown801]

But never leave the ram hole, cucumber, and jar of vinegar in a closet. Dangerous things come out of the closet.

[@mags779]

1:27 Back when I was a kid my parents were litterally trying to find people we knew that chicken pox so that we could get it over with--

[@mannequia8294]

I think I get it; they wanted the disease so they could survive it and then next time it happens they won't suffer as much/have a lower chance of getting it through normal social interaction. They were training their immune systems against it like vaccines do except the way they did it was more risky cause the virus was alive when they did it

[@ally939]

Wait, is your profile pic nadeshiko from shugo chara?

[@BeyondEcho95]

That's why my mom stuck me with my chicken pox riddled cousin...

[@queenhusqvarna9695]

My family did that too.lol Cousin got chicken pox? Awesome, let's get your pox out of the way at a convenient time for mama.lol

[@queenhusqvarna9695]

@@mannequia8294 yeah, idk about measles, but as far as chicken pox once you have it you're done, you won't have it again. But you may get shingles during adulthood. Chicken pox is supposedly easier on children than teens and adults because little kids just aren't as frustrated by the itchiness as teens and adults.

[@elephystry]

If the end goal is a pickle, yes you would need a cucumber and vinegar. However, cucumbers and vinegar have many more uses than combining to make pickles. Alternatively, if you don't like cucumbers, vinegar, or pickles, or are just not feeling like having them in the moment, you may abstain. If the end goal is childbirth, yes you would need a male reproductive system and a female reproductive system. However, they each have many more uses than making children. Alternatively, if you don't like male reproductive systems, female reproductive systems, or children, or are just not feeling like having them in the moment, you may abstain. By the way, "You need another stick of ram, that's why there's two ram holes" has gotta be the greatest innuendo I've ever read.

[@metademetra]

elephystry Don’t forget technology has advanced to the point that a fetus can be created with two eggs. Basically Christianity is likely to have another giant schism in the next few decades.

[@simongregory9453]

@@metademetra but you still need sperm with the 2 eggs right? Is that the 3 person baby stuff I've been hearing about?

[@metademetra]

@@simongregory9453 Nope, you just use the eggs. Baby will always be a girl.

[@Aplesedjr]

To be fair, the reproductive system has very little use outside of reproduction.

[@alejandraneco307]

elephystry also you can buy pickles from someone else so you don’t even need to make your own

[@Rachelas]

But some people don’t like pickles so they just eat plain cucumbers

[@taiasoncole8148]

And in that case 2 cucumbers would be perfect.

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

Heathens!

[@illulamati4651]

And some people don't like cucumbers and would rather just have vinager

[@freyacollins4220]

Yeah and I love to just drink vinegar so all is O.K! 😂🏳️‍🌈

[@simongregory9453]

@@freyacollins4220 oh goodness no that's horrible! You need to rethink your life. Raw vinegar!!???

[@mew_mo_]

The first person who says diseases saves you irl to me, is getting drop kicked

[@poopprincess92]

Good job.

[@rachelbowman3476]

Diseases saves you irl

[@megarayquaza2240]

@@VladLad the blessed rains down there will hopefully cure them

[@mroppossum4100]

Probably need a hundred men or more to help

[@holyflamelegendvargas2804]

Mega Rayquaza IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING TOTO REFERENCE?

[@benniaho1732]

Y’all my mental disorder is trying to make me smarter. Anxiety is my survival skill! 😂

[@KittenLynxARI]

@@fressejetzt840 r/woooosh?

[@harishyqchy]

Kaka Akak r/woooosh

[@KittenLynxARI]

@@fressejetzt840 *wasn't

[@tsundor1]

Kaka Akak ?????? they’re joking yknow

[@cqlewis3810]

@@tsundor1 you don't get it this guy is obviously an emo. The thing is he thinks he's funny by talking about anxiety and depression like it's some sort of joke.

[@xxthatonegamergirlxx8636]

ADHD is your body trying to focus

[@The_October_Man]

spooky cringe lord Asperger’s is your mind trying to help you socialize.

[@eevee1583]

spooky cringe lord Depression is your body trying to be happy

[@buzzybeez204]

spooky cringe lord Anxiety is your body trying to clam down

[@thelittleredhairedgirlfrom6527]

Schizophrenia is your body helping you to distinguish reality from fiction

[@eon928]

AIDS is your body trying to get you laid

[@julienne3444]

*ABOPRTION*

[@dragzking]

6:24 my reaction to you making this video

[@4skin4seer64]

Agreed

[@yungtobiii]

“Cancer is your body trying to save you” From what? The pain of living in this horrible plane of existence?

[@missconstruct6968]

Well, yes. People back then did try to give their kids measles and chicken pox early, as it'd be easier than an older kid getting sick. But they also all died before 60

[@dustythetvheadman3620]

9:49 As a vegan, I sincerely apologize for this.

[@rollypolly1557]

AlexCrew we forgive you

[@Northflowo]

Good thing that I fucking hate pickles then :^)

[@themotherofharlots4605]

Northflower Same fellow gay

[@meow286]

Northflower wow so tru 100 like

[@senpasztic875]

Do you hate pickles, or just the cucumber?

[@--zephyroys--549]

What the hell are you doing here? O;

[@TravestyJunction]

Eh, picky eaters.

[@joshuamc19]

Why do I feel the uncontrollable urge to send that person a friend request on Facebook.

[@Kay_213_]

To piss them off. Because what that guy needs is 1000+ friend requests JUST be cause he told people not to. Serves him right

[@tadweird1766]

We could claim we didn't see their post about it since they put the Privacy setting to Friends Only.

[@thegamingfandom6721]

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

[@8bitarmory846]

josh m I was extremely confused, then got to that part of the video right after reading the comment

[@Maddie-ri8ct]

I find the fact that people get jealous of animals hilarious. My friend broke off a really long relationship a few months ago because her boyfriend was jealous of how much time she spent with her horse. She also confronted him about his cheating and he said ‘if you didn’t love the horse more, I wouldn’t have to cheat.’ So happy she dumped his ass.

[@Andrew-pd6ey]

About the measles thing! Yes they did actually, as before vaccinations became as widespread as they are now, infectious disease was seen as something that most people would have to face and by the 50s people knew if you had it once you aren't gonna get it again. It was however, risky, and if only there was someway we could protect people against disease without them actually having to risk their lives... hmmmmm.....

[@mogotrevo]

Hmmmmmmmmm 🤔 If only.

[@Brynwyn123]

TIL the hundreds of hours I've spent on video games weren't because I enjoy them and instead were meant to trick men into the friendzone

[@Brynwyn123]

Genevieve17 I used to know a guy who was completely convinced that we had bones in our boobs like little mountains covered in skin so your comment could not be more accurate. Its just baffling... I read a lot of sci-fi (among other things) but apparently women can't like sci-fi so I guess that's hundreds more hours I've been curled up at home trying to lure the menfolk in... Nope, women can't possibly like anything but dick and the acquisition of said dick

[@anormalhumanuwu]

Oh come on everyone knows that women only play videogmes to trick men into having sex with them just to sue them for rape

[@Brynwyn123]

The Burning fire nah were luring them in so we can ship their dicks off with out vagina dentata

[@linlupin]

Don't tell anyone, but we're all just sirens in disguise, luring in men with our "hobbies" so that we can pull them into the ocean and eat them. Why do you think so many women like taking walks on the beach?

[@Brynwyn123]

Linlupin Are we sirens or are we selkies? I personally would prefer to be known as a seductive seal lady. Alternately, we could all be Kelpies, disguising ourselves as desirable women so they walk up, try to touch us without permission, get stuck and are dragged into the river by us large, sticky horses.

[@kevintreese4544]

Polio is your body trying to help you move lol

[@ellamstevens2002]

Ready to get my aborption

[@DogVill-inc]

Nah Im pretty sure I think cancer is bad after seeing my mom break down screaming and crying after learning about my grandma(her mom) had died of cancer without getting the chance to say bye because she lives hundreds of miles away from her.

[@cosmictartar5736]

I’ve had 16 vaccines 🤔 I must be immortal.

[@snowypepper5821]

I’ve had 0 please send help

[@colindelabie9734]

Phoenix Mcsoundel L

[@pjm-zu7jw]

Rust Ruscito L

[@grandldude]

More like autistic

[@aneeshbhattacharjee6231]

damn....that may actually be too many...sorry...i dont know any person who has had more than 7..me serious...

[@applepiie07]

6:23 when my friends give me food without me having to ask

[@DANtheMANofSIPA]

Almost 100 percent Hetersexuals Inspiring Pride is a joke. That Hitler thing was pretty clear it's satire

[@nathangelaude4787]

DANtheMANofSIPA your profile pic is hitter

[@archieackerman5014]

'hitter'

[@usagichanp]

DANtheMANofSIPA I think I read an article of someone joining one of those “heterosexual pride” groups, and some are actually serious.

[@foodfrogs6052]

Bloof the Poof Well yeah, there's always that one guy joining a satire group not knowing it's a joke.

[@dejota1136]

Some of these have to be trolls...

[@greaseballjones7705]

De Jota idk, people are pretty stupid

[@Squiggy2010]

I really hope so. These people are breeding.

[@SmartAlec1]

This day did not start off good!

[@djinnhoopa7599]

The straight pride shit is probably a joke

[@basilmybeloved7170]

De Jota or facebook user are dumb

[@patcollins4023]

2:28 unless i'm missing something, what's stopping you from buying pickles from a store

[@floydlooney6837]

I always thought cancer was mutant cells growing out of control.

[@ProfessionalRtard]

Wow that sleep is deprived

[@benjaminjordan2330]

Laud Gray which one?

[@TheLilacButterfly]

If the Earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now. Case closed.

[@agentv1240]

When I see someone with an inhaler, I threw it on the ground and stomp it, I did this since childhood

[@Kay_213_]

I wouldn’t put that behind you considering your profile pic

[@prestondanner5037]

Kyle Maddalena they always do this funny dance on the floor where they grab their chest and throat

[@SoVidushi]

@@prestondanner5037 😂😂

[@robotslayer9690]

What if the north side of one magnet and the south side of another magnet repelled each other? *B R E A K I N G N E W S: G A Y C O U P L E S R I S E T O 1 0 0 P E R C E N T*

[@freelancebucket9928]

Let's give it up for the people who play games and don't go to ABORPTION clinics.

[@Jakepearl13]

Mr. Spoops gamers rise up

[@LittleMissMac23]

Lel

[@takeflightstudioz9079]

Abortion*

[@ohno-cz6jb]

Yung Water whoosh, did u even watch the video????

[@takeflightstudioz9079]

@@ohno-cz6jb no shit fucker, its called a joke

[@gplgs4640]

7:10 “What’s that, you got tuberculosis?” Arthur Morgan does.

[@sharpieswitchblade6485]

#cleanwatergang

[@squidinkNoodles]

I'm just..... Gonna..... Hit my head on the wall...... Repeatedly

[@nc1257]

Logic is dead now

[@justinbaxter7640]

『NC 猫』 R.I.P common logic First,our language went away,and replaced by a hollow shell of it’s former self. Now,our common knowledge is fading away,with the rise anti-Vaxxers and third way feminists Soon,what will remain will be a boiling pot of lies and propaganda to feed to what remains of the educated world

[@authenticNL2]

Never

[@zaapray9895]

Isn't coming out of the closet just a word for coming out as homosexuel, they do not literally step in and out because they have changed. I sometimes need to walk all bit in to get some clothes that is in the back, now do I become homosexuel? I think I have spent to long wrighting this..

[@skullybonesgamingawesome2544]

ZaapRay nah you didn’t spend too long and you make a good point

[@zaapray9895]

I am not a bot I’m a real boy, thank you for the correction but you understud what I wanted to comment upon so I don't feel like corrections are needed unless you don't understand the meaning of it.

[@nothingworse210]

what if that big candle was a clever way to get rid of a body or something

[@avr7120]

I‘m just...mind blown

[@squidcultist0022]

It looked like a pile of flesh in some horror movie/game

[@Snugboat]

These people make me ashamed to be religious

[@Kay_213_]

I’m ashamed of people

[@darrelsam419]

Same dude.

[@thevi5433]

These people make me ashemed of being people

[@kqxoc254]

3:16 NO, I CAME OUT OF THE PANTRY!

[@boopboop4141]

HELL YEAH!

[@mothshenanigans]

I came out of asymmetry cuz IM AN ASEXUAL

[@dominikherok6293]

Slazo m'lad. Sleep is for the weak.

[@glitter_smack016]

Dominik Herok sleep is for a week

[@Chl0r0f0rmG1rl]

1:23 not the measles so much as chicken pox, from my understanding. but that's also why a lot of older and middle-aged people get shingles now.

[@scarlettefoxx5585]

If you read old books they actually mention how they'll get their kids sick because then they won't have to deal with it later, and they can deal with it while its convenient. I remember one book where the main kid had siblings, and one of them got sick, so the mom put them all in the same bed so that they could all get sick together and get the sickness over and done with. Honestly, much more effective than waiting for it to spread to each individual family member.

[@Vancouver9]

The downsides to free speech

[@moss8541]

There are outdoor cats??? That walk around outside??? And then come home??? I'm sorry why remove the collar???

[@d-dog4606]

Because it can get caught on things and other cats and animals can get a hold on it, making it easier to kill them.

[@moss8541]

D- Dog but then someone may think it's a stray and take it away.

[@foxxics]

May Rose Cats try squeezing into tiny spaces, with a collar they could easily be strangled,same with dogs,that’s why your supposed to have two fingers worth of space between your dogs neck and their collar and why most cat collars are break away.

[@foxxics]

As for the taking away thing,most people look for an owner,my cat has escaped multiple times,the first time he escaped my mom saw a Facebook post about a found cat,our cat,most people are aware that a lot of cats are outdoor cats and won’t take them unless their 100% sure they don’t have a home

[@schwammi]

Why are you so confused? That's literally what every cat does, and in my entire life I've only seen one cat with a collar. Like it's in the nature of cats to have a big territory and walk around a lot and cats usually hate collars and they're also REALLY impractical for them. We never had cats ourselves but there are A LOT of cat where I live. I never even saw a stray cat. And maybe it's because I live kinda on the country and kinda in a village, but who are you talking bout that is gonna take them away? Like who would even care except for maybe a big city.

[@djfebrezee]

"Personally, I think he is way too affectionate [towards his cat]." Me, laying down next to my cat with my phone propped up so we can watch the video together: :(

[@succubunnie]

Anyone else get frustrated watching this?

[@cannibalgirl9249]

So um, what happens to people who were not vaccinated and died? What then huh?

[@eevee1583]

Cannibal Girl the real question is what if you were vaccinated and you never died?

[@echobean5222]

God’s plan.

[@borgkingerei6993]

*Y O U A R E T O O D A N G E R O U S T O B E K E P T A L I V E*

[@suppq9547]

I choked on the “thank you” LMAO

[@melody74u95]

That cat impression was spot on

[@mythnyx3791]

Well... They weren’t lying when they said big candle

[@snonsig2688]

collars for cats are actually quite bad, because when they run around alone or jump on something like a fence with nobody watching them they can very easily strangle themselves

[@dreas5013]

dr. pupsgesicht 01101100 00100000 01101111 quick release/easy release collars are a thing! My cat has one and I tested it (snagged it on things, yanked, etc) and they really work. Also saved my cat from being put down when an asshole neighbor caught him in a raccoon trap and brought him to the pound. If he didn't have his collar with my phone #, he wouldve been put down

[@tylerburney8576]

Not an excuse to take off a collar though. And as Drea Sou mentioned, cat collars are a thing.

[@ashleysanchez1163]

That’s why they make collars called “Breakaway Collars.” After a certain amount of pressure, the buckle will release so the cat doesn’t strangle themselves. I use that type of collar for my ferret, since he likes to go underneath stuff. He could easily get caught and strangle himself, but the collar would unbuckle and prevent that.

[@MistCellaneous-5]

Also, what is there to GAIN from believing that the Earth is flat....other than ostracism from every single human being?

[@ILikeDogz]

What you believe in Earth obviously its just a turtle

[@misterioso861]

I have been cremating my pets wrong this entire time

[@Not_Claptrap]

That person was crazy, my grandpa died from cancer

[@Kay_213_]

Cancer sucks

[@arczi1309]

my grandma too. i get so offended by this.

[@skzaph]

The way cats say thank you is 👌

[@toecutterjones]

I'm still worried about the cat owned by the dude with the jealous girlfriend. She definitely had some rabbit in the boiling water qualities.

[@HGHsChannel]

"Ahh... yes, my failing liver is just my body trying to save me from absorbing the alcohol in my blood."

[@Marines_Memelevolent]

Slazo hasn’t seen the Anti-Vax insanity yet. Lucky guy.