r/TooAfraidToAsk - "Forced" Gay Characters 🤔

[@TheClick]

Go to buyraycon.com/theclick to get up to 30% off sitewide! Brought to you by Raycon.

[@TheClick]

also: uwu

[@hayleeperkins8681]

Dangggg

[@Ecofriendlyant]

Fr

[@andreiaxolotl5137]

@@TheClick Wait a second. This comment is 2 hours long but the video has been out for 10 seconds!

[@flame.dancer.crystal]

uwu

[@miksustaahl2568]

This subreddit is either "I fed my friend's dog a treat without permission, am I a bad person?" or "The eleven orphans I disposed of three years ago have come back to life. Should I be concerned?" and there is no in between.

[@Moon_x_sun]

You forgot all the sex I guess that would be its own plane? And not inbetween but it’s still there haha :)

[@ChronicGoblinQueen]

​@@Moon_x_sun "I had sex with my friend's dog, am I a bad person?”

[@Moon_x_sun]

@@ChronicGoblinQueen when the sex-plane intersects with the dog-plane It’s not a happy place but sadly it exists

[@miksustaahl2568]

It’s probably like a triforce of facepalms XD

[@hannajung7512]

I understand your point. But have to add a side note: Please do not feed treats to animals, that are not your own without permission. You do not know their allergies, training plans etc. While it is rarely worth making a big deal out of it, when somebody does it, it might actually be a big deal and can cause great harm, that was not intended, just because you fed the dog something they really should not eat.

[@AstolfoGayming]

the story at 20-23 minutes in: If you think that the people you're talking to are sex traffickers, stop talking with them, tell your parents, give your parents as much information as you have on them. That way, in the worst case that you get taken, your parents know as much as you do, which means that the police have a much, much better starting point. Also it's not too late to stop talking with them. Just because you've taken money once doesn't mean you need to do it again. Just because you've slept with them once doesn't mean you need to do it again. Just because they're visited you once, or you visited them once, does not mean you need to do it again. Cut off contact, tell someone else as much as you know. Family and friends would much rather think you made a small mistake than have you disappear with no trace.

[@tijgeke87]

im kinda afraid they didnt :( and are now in even a worse situation

[@MadSwede87]

I fund the story in Reddit and the last update was 4+ months ago I hope they are ok

[@ShanRenxin]

@@MadSwede87 I really hope that no news is good news

[@asveses5730]

Assume the worst, hope for the best.

[@TheGoldenDunsparce]

What's nuts is that they hesitate because of the very thing those traffickers used to reel them in. They let OP and her friend buy whatever they wanted, twice. So now they question their instincts because they're hoping it's all good - solely because they want to be able to keep buying whatever they want, even though worst case scenerio, they're literally going to be taken away from everyone they know and love, chain-raeped by a buncha horny rich dudes, and probably left for dead in a ditch somewhere within a month. It's so stupid...

[@danielgudi7446]

People who date barely legal teens are like managers paying minimum wage. It's legal but you know they would go lower if they could.

[@Tries_To_Draw]

True that. Infact I’ve got a cousin, she is like 15 and has 4 online sugar daddies (she doesn’t send them anything, she just pretends to be with them for bragging rights or what not) and she doesn’t ask for them, they just show up on her TikTok

[@Smeik100]

To the trafficker story: in German newspaper was a similar story with a college girl. He knew where she lives so one day he came and said that he would kill her father right away if she refuses to come with her. Blocking is not enough, if they know where you live. Call the cops right away. Tell people what happened. Don't wait until something happens, because the situation will overwhelm you. Prepare for everything.

[@Localcourtjester4hire]

Absolutely. If they have your location, its ✨police time✨

[@RenegadeDesigns]

Trafficker story:As a trafficking survivor I can point out that yes they're very obviously traffickers. But something you might not have noticed is them wanting the girls to run up bills they pay for. Why? Because its a way they can guilt trip the girls over the fact they were given so many gifts by the two guys. And based on the fact they are using fake names I am pretty sure those credit cards are stolen so they aren't actually paying for things.

[@ItsAsparageese]

THIS. I'm an unhoused woman (live in a car, I'm very good at it now, much more privileged than most other carlifers) and unfortunately I've learned not to accept generosity from any men I don't know, and even sometimes when I know them a bit but not well. The vast majority who offer unprompted aid/money/food are totally well-meaning good people, but once in a while a guy who passes all the vibe checks ends up later acting like I owe them something because they insisted on giving me a plum and some gas money or whatever. I've never been in a predatory trafficking situation, but the point is that if someone is PUSHY about generosity, it's just wise to assume they may have an ulterior motive.

[@RenegadeDesigns]

@ItsAsparageese I have been unhoused and a car lifer but on a bench. So I do help others who are in my situation but I always put emphasis on whatever I give that I'm not giving them anything special or that I expect even a thank you. Because I don't want to come across as someone who would manipulate others using generosity to do so. I am thankfully not in that situation currently and I want to help others in my old position, but I know to be careful how I do it.

[@starbittenpixieboy]

I love Click being a good dad teaching his demon children to use a sword. Really warms the heart

[@Svbbing_.Pr1ncvss]

It’s so sweet :D

[@Salicat99]

Reminds me of the Jurassic Park movie where the adult T-Rex proudly watches the young one attack the human.

[@Wasser-Wolke]

And then throwing the child away

[@TheKampfschaf]

The cutest thing ever ❤

[@WerstoftheWorst]

It was really wholesome until he yeeted the demon across the room

[@goldenbroom7842]

'Let me educate you on how to properly stab your enemies' * describes slashing * 😂

[@BobbyHurt-d2c]

Ik, this is exactly what I was thinking, probably just cuz I swordfight

[@macheup6405]

"AND protect yourself from groomers" 😂

[@goldenbroom7842]

@@AIHumanEquality Clicky said 'stab' and the joke was that he was in fakt not describing a stabbing or thrusting movement but more a cutting or slashing one. I know that these are contrary kinds of movement, but click just had an oopsie in his storytelling and i pointed it out xD

[@microqueen69]

that is how you develop critical thinking.

[@ChronicGoblinQueen]

Epee Vs sabre nerds unite

[@stephanybrown3226]

That girl asking on the groomer sweetie please please tell your parents. You may never see this, but anyone in this situation please tell an adult. This happened to me at 15 online. Never met the creep but it messed me up, at 23 I had a break down nearly going to the hospital from it. Please please don't think you're alone in this.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

If the girl is an 18 year old, then she’s legally an adult in most jurisdictions. The law can’t really do anything if the younger person who is being groomed is legally an adult. If the girl is underage, then the law could do something about it.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@AIHumanEquality 16 is *not* the age of majority in most jurisdictions even though it might be the age of consent in some jurisdictions. 16 year olds are *not* adults, they are still growing *adolescents* who could not yet handle all of the responsibilities of adulthood just yet.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@ Why should the age of consent be lower than the age of majority? That is really screwed up.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@@AIHumanEquality Crap. The age of consent in my home state of Kansas is 16. That is really and truly screwed up.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

@ You are right. That is truly messed up.

[@Jay_Frank]

27:41 This reminds me of something that happened to me. When I was 16 I thought I fell in love with an older woman. We were internet friends and played various games together. When I finally brought it up, she had me drop everything I was doing in order to have a straight conversation. After asking me questions about what I was feeling, she explained that what I was feeling wasn't a romantic type of love, but more a kin to an older sister type. She treated me like a human and explained why I was feeling that way as well as the differences. Now that I'm a proper adult, looking back on it now she was absolutely right. I'll always be grateful to her because that explanation actually saved me from falling into those types of traps. I was lucky to find someone who genuinely cared about my wellbeing. We are still in contact today. We have a more of a familial relationship now both giving and receiving advice, as well as someone to vent to when needed.

[@seigeengine]

I personally object to the categorization of love, but yeah, it's good when you have people who actually care about you.

[@polasamierwahsh421]

congratulations you found a great person and a great friend

[@callyral]

ah, platonic love

[@86fifty]

49:45 - dude... This legit changed my brain chemistry. "Inclusivity (in media) is like CGI, you only notice it when it's BADLY DONE." i am 100% going to use this later

[@TheSpeep]

Well, or when youre specifically looking for it. Being autistic, I will notice familiar traits on characters and I enjoy spotting them there, whether its intentionally written as such or not. On the flip side of that coin, youve got those people who will freak out at any character for being brown, or a woman or, the horror, a woman wearing PANTS!

[@mothersauce]

my dad always told me that in college, there are three options: study, sleep, and social life. you get to pick two. rudest awaking was transitioning to adult life and realizing you still only get to pick two

[@ClownHoundII]

Yeah, he wasn't lying. I unfortunately needed more sleep and study time than socializing in college. Went from college student to lonely & broke college kid.

[@rolfs2165]

Yup, the answer is: you don't. The system _needs_ you to be drained and behind on stuff constantly so you don't have time to question why it is this way and if it really has to be. And to sell you new shit that promises to make chores easier but only changes them (from washing the dishes by hand to filling and emptying the dishwasher, for example). If you're complaining, it simply points at all the people who are getting along Just Fine™, so quit slacking off and get your act together! Who cares that you're a solitary bee forced to work in a hive of thousands?

[@8onnie8oyz]

College is a scam.

[@ShadowEclipse777]

​​@AIHumanEquality and considering China is also pretty fucked, that really tells you something

[@Andrew12217]

​@@rolfs2165While the virus situation sucked a lot a weird silver lining for me was remote work, I suddenly had more time, enough to work, sleep enough to rise fresh in the morning, cooking cleaning and my main socialization events even before that situation was role playing games so suddenly everyone could play online. I really begrudged when we were called to the office, despite being able to finish more projects, because no one was bothering me in my house and if they contacted me was for something important. It was really eye opening, it was never about being productive, it was about the illusion of control. My job is designing electronic circuits. They always mistook me staring at the screen as slacking when I was raking my brains to solve something. Being able to do more and having solid evidence of productivity still didn't matter against "fear" of slacking.

[@laurajones1476]

I feel like the ADHD conversation (while super important and valid reasons fo why life is hard) dismisses the part where the 9-5 work week wasn't built for single people, the 40 hour work week doesn't leave enough time for a person to work, exercise, cook, do every household chore, have a social life and hobbies, you do have to pick some at a lot of points in life because it is too much, and I think everyone I know feels it

[@eustacia03]

Absolutely. The 40 hour work week is intended for someone who is a sole "breadwinner" for a family that has at least one more adult in it who can devote all their time to the home, chores, errands etc. I think this is why grocery delivery and curbside pickup are so popular and more people hire cleaners these days.

[@KatySpence]

Or as a single parent who has to have a second job to make ends meet and be the only person in charge !!!

[@forestboi9760]

oh hell yes, the 8 hour workday is a fuckin relic from the previous century, we should have snipped it shorter decades ago.

[@feuerling]

​@@forestboi9760 that would require raising wages so people can still afford to live while working fewer hours, and hiring more people to fill the time, so the companies would have less profits and they can't have that!

[@alisemaleneohme4666]

​@@feuerlingI've seen at least two articles about countries (I think Iceland was one of them? And south Korea?) cutting the work week to 4 days instead of 5. Apparently it raised the effectiveness and happiness of the workers and companies ended up with more profit. So it is do-able. The country and the companies just have to take a leap of faith and give the workers a few months to adjust and feel the positive change. It's like that CEO who raised the wages of all his workers so they wouldn't need a second job, by lowering his own wages to the same as them. They ended up surviving covid crisis because all the workers stayed loyal and did what they could to keep the company afloat during a time when they could have gone bankrupt or crashed.

[@armythecat]

First thing, I am always flabergasted at how MASSIVE your cat is, he is such a pile of fluff that he looks like a plushie Second thing, Your cat has the best resting bitch/judging face I have ever seen, I aspire to become like him one day

[@akitokutikabanae7010]

He IS a Maine Coon, that's why he IS so Big !

[@EdieBird]

He also has the most majestic CHIN of any cat ever! My cats all look weak in comparison. LOL (I'm kidding, kitties!)

[@akitokutikabanae7010]

@@armythecat did my comment disappeared ? D: I was only telling you that his cat was a Maine Coon, that's why he's so big !

[@Doorknobs_yum]

What timestamp do we see him at

[@Derek_Koni]

​@@Doorknobs_yum48:50

[@ValeriyApocalypse]

As someone who's overweight, I can testify that grabbing someone's belly/waist fat is a BIG NO NO unless previously discussed. It's often a sensitive topic and it makes people feel fatter, even if you like it. So: don't do that unless you're absolutely ok the person you're with is ok with it. On a side note, I'm 29 and I definitely have friends who are of very different ages. We bonded over our shared love over some videogames. Needless to say that a simple online friendship is all there is. I'm saying this for the people who think that ANY interaction between people with more than three years of age gap MUST be predatory. Nah bro, some of us are just decent people.

[@seigeengine]

As someone who is overweight, I'd find it odd, but I wouldn't be offended. I have some sensitivity about my weight, but, like, if your sensitivity is at a level where your partner touching you triggers you, that's not normal.

[@whatcanidooo]

I used to hold my ex’s belly and I never thought about how that might be an issue 😢 but we were together for awhile so hopefully they would’ve told me. It’s just a nice thing to hold onto while cuddling

[@EspeonMistress00]

As an overweight person I don't get the issue I might cry from the love I gor ater but definitely not feel fatter, whatever tf that means. I feel like that is a deeper issue on the overweight person's part and you shouldn't be in that vulnerable position if you don't go through that self hatred or at least be open about it before hand.

[@EspeonMistress00]

​@@seigeengineYeah I concur, that is not normal and you aren't ready to go there yet

[@EspeonMistress00]

​@@whatcanidoooExactly, one of the reasons why I don't think I will mind is how many men I have heard say this online. I still hate my body for my own aesthetics and physica and mental health goals But I know a lot of men will find my body attractive because of how THICC I am 😅

[@Artemisiathefirst]

As a neurodivergent individual, I was a picky eater for most of my life. I would consistently get chicken almost anywhere we went because "tastes like chicken" is really consistent. I know what to expect and I won't be overwhelmed by spices as easily if it's absorbed by bland chicken. Then I got to college and had to deal with my own meals. I started trying stuff because I had to, then because I wanted to. Once I was given the freedom to try stuff on my own (and wasn't belittled or mocked for not wanting to try stuff) I found a lot of stuff I liked. My desert of choice went from ice cream to yogurt mixed with fruit. Let the people with low sensory thresholds push their limits on their own terms. It's so much easier than trying to force someone to an edge they're not ready to go to.

[@isabelcarrasco4528]

Yeah, a big advantage of making food only for oneself I found is that it is much easier to "try" things because you can decide to start with a very basic version that you are confident won't taste bad. And then maybe add one thing you are unsure about to one part of that. I made pizza with just the dough, tomato sauce and on one end a bit of diced hard boiled egg. No cheese or any of the other strong-taste foods that people like to put there. Just slow gradual experimentation. 😊

[@Al_-cf1dj]

This! My father is constantly pressuring my younger sibling who can only really eat about 10ish foods and it always leads to them eating less/not at all but whenever my dad just shuts up their success rate of eating enough food in general increases (though they still rarely try new stuff but tbf their autism is the kind that really impacts their sensory tolerance and social skills which they usually use up in school)

[@cory8526]

23:30 this "rant" you just went on about human trafficking is why I'm never afraid for my teenage kids to watch your videos. I'm so glad you are such a good influence on the younger folks.

[@cory8526]

43:41 yet again! You cover such deep and serious topics with such sincerity and compassion for the victims.

[@seigeengine]

The insinuation you're normally afraid for your teenage children to watch internet videos is wild.

[@cory8526]

@@seigeengine some of the shit out there nowadays, yes, I am.

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@seigeengine I would be too. There are some crazy crazy things out there.

[@kodabuck225]

@@seigeengine um dude, when folks like Andrew Tate and Shane Dawson, exist, folks got reasons to be concerned what their teens are into bro.

[@krbthewitch]

Click, that's not a cat, that's a UNIT. He's like if you took a cat and Photoshop enlarged it.

[@sammidee4713]

It is probably related to a forest cat, or similar to a Maine Coon.

[@Gormathius]

@@sammidee4713 I think he did actually say something about Maine Coon in one (or possibly both) of his recent emotional support streams.

[@justdontcare2698]

18:27 "they're pissed that we spent so little" look... it's either that they are billionaire playboys or... they are looking to use your "debt" to them because you "have to pay back what you owe" that is the biggest red flag that i've ever seen in my life!

[@contra1124]

Yeah I can sort of sympathise with the women who took that offer because it's nice to be treated like a princess. But every alarm bell in my head is ringing.

[@lotus7781]

its likely it isnt even their credit card...

[@Honey_and_me]

@@AIHumanEquality or stole them from outher people they trafficked

[@seigeengine]

Anyone doing anything for you wants something. If you can't tell what, or the extent doesn't match, be afraid.

[@Randomobserver_w3st]

But why trust someone you just met and knowing the age difference not be suspicious

[@IMakeUnitaleThings]

13:14 I wish I had been taught this earlier in life, as a child (I have ADHD) I was constantly told that “a job half done (usually said when I wanted to just take a break or something like that) is the same as not doing it at All”

[@MireyaRivera]

Having the cat cam especially when you're reading some of these harder topics would only be a plus. Emotional support cat cam would be lovely.

[@flyingprist]

God this subreddit goes from Wholesome simple questions to really messed up Predatory situation wayy too quickly.

[@0ptera]

that tonal whiplash was amazing. A Bingo card for this reddit could be wild.

[@owencoles2798]

That’s the state of humanity is at.

[@cjlite0210]

To "Hey can I get a mold for my d* * * so my gf can f* * * myself?"

[@DefaultFlame]

0 or 100, no inbetween.

[@zinc2982]

0:06 Click: "Ah, what a good morning." The window behind him being pitch black outside-

[@TheClick]

sweden

[@zinc2982]

@TheClick yeah that'll do it

[@janemiettinen5176]

At the darkest time of year (around xmas), I can nap thru the ‘sunny’ time (about 4-5 hrs, usually cloudy too, grayest time of year) and I live in southern Finland, well below Arctic circle & even more from half year day/night. When I was still in school, it was dark going in and dark again coming home. This is living in the roof of the world. In the summertime it gets reversed and the shortest dark lasts less than an hour, when dusk & dawn is excluded. That long dusk & dawn is why many international ads are filmed here, especially nature themed ones - it’s called the blue moment and looks nice on camera, I guess.

[@RexytheRexy]

​@@TheClick Alaska, here. Happy to share the morning void with you, sir thiccy.

[@elaineb7065]

@@TheClick In winter. It's dark outside by 5 here in Scotland, & will get worse as we go into December

[@aniieesteiner]

I just want to reinforce the whole "do small steps", because, I have autism and often get overwhelmed by all the stuff I, in my mind, have to do and the sheer size of it sometimes. So, currently, I'm getting my entrance floor up to snuff, after having lived at the same place for almost 20 years with dogs. Really deep scrub stuff, the get-down-down-on-your-knees-with-a-wash-pad-and-some-rags. I KNEW the moment I decided it needed to be done that I couldn't do the whole floor in one go, between sensory issues, mental capacity, etc. So, I brought some painter's tape, divided the floor into manageable chunks and decided that if I could do ONE in a day, I'd be happy. If I could do TWO, that'd be great. THREE? Heck, that deserves a chocolate bar as a reward. I'm halfway done, and it's taken a week, but it looks way better and feels way better than having done nothing. Hang in there. It doesn't need to happen immediately, and it doesn't have to be perfect. Just take whatever you need to do one baby step at a time. You'll get there eventually.

[@lightfurya2087]

I’m going to try this. Thank you so much for the idea

[@meebhasarrived]

Brilliant idea! I have some walls in my house that have needed painting for about 3 years now. Maybe this will finally help me get it done!

[@sevenember3332]

I’ve been doing some straightening up while I have downtime in my game just waiting for crafting to be completed. One part was breaking down all the cardboard boxes that had stacked up. Go back to game. Put laundry in the washer. Go back to game. Basically just one step of cleaning and then resting as on top of ADHD, I have Chronic Fatigue syndrome and a foot injury that is going to take a while to heal. I can’t just go through and dust and vacuum my whole living space like I used to, but I *can* break down the space into rooms and sections of a room. And my husband can take care of his office on his own.

[@aniieesteiner]

@sevenember3332 haha, I do this ALL THE TIME, eespecially when just tidying or doing dishes. Usually I set up a game with chores such a crafting or auto running levels, I pull a card from the deck I keep next to my computer, do that many dishes / make sure that many things are where they're supposed to be, go check the game, pull another card. Sometimes I throw in some computer work as well, like, check game, write 7 lines of a recipe or whatever I'm working on, do 7 dishes, rinse, repeat. Whatever works, right?

[@seigeengine]

I'm whatever the hell it's called when you're not autistic that I can't be bothered to double check right now and it's slipping my mind. Sometimes shit is hard. Just do what you can. It's not your fault.

[@nandresjaime2504]

17:27 if a man +27 approaches to specifically a 18-21 girl, it just tells me he would do it with someone younger if it wasn't illegal. Most of the times it's creepy af

[@seigeengine]

Avoid being overzealous. You can't actually discern that, however, it's definitely worth caution, and quadruply so if the person only goes after people in that age range.

[@ArchmageIlmryn]

@29:30 I think that could actually be a risky assumption to make, since a lot of groomers *do* make underage same-sex friends, sometimes because they're deeply immature themselves and this is a way to be the "cool older guy", sometimes just because it gives them access to victims, sometimes because they are after victims of either sex.

[@grimjoker5572]

The question about being trafficked; if somebody hands you their credit card and tells you to max it out, it's not their credit card.

[@MelissaWickersham-k4o]

So not only is there trafficking in this situation, there is also credit card fraud.

[@Ann-Abel]

Even if it is their credit card, they'd probably use the debt against the girls to trap them in a debt bondage situation

[@seigeengine]

This is one of those "you don't need to think about it deeply" situations. If someone is doing something for you, they want something from you. Period. Altruism isn't real. Everybody always wants something. It may not always be tangible, and it may not always be from you, but it's always something. If you don't know what they want, or what they want doesn't seem proportionate to what they're doing for you, you are in danger.

[@hannajung7512]

​@@seigeenginealtruism DOES exist, people donate a lot of money out of altruism. But it is generally safer to assume a person is wanting something in return, and it is wise to find out what this is, and wether you want to give that befor accepting what they offer.

[@seigeengine]

@@hannajung7512 Nope. Altruism is a myth. The least reason people donate money is to feel good about themselves. Everyone always wants something. If you don't know what that is, be afraid. If someone is trying to tell you otherwise, at the very least, they're a victim of the lie. At worst, they're one of the liars.

[@anq4274]

Oh so afraid to ask...more afraid to the answer

[@TheSunflowerSniper]

"Go somewhere else" is also fantastic advice for any students out there. I didn't go to the library because it was impossible to study at home. I went to the library because the atmosphere is entirely different from my office space at home and that allowed me to focus better.

[@seigeengine]

This is really it. We associate things with the places we do them in. If you have a specific place you go to work, you are mentally primed to do work whenever you are there. If you try to work in your ordinary home spaces, your brain is at best going to have mixed associations, and at worst will feel like you should be chilling or doing housework or something, whatever.

[@ItsAsparageese]

Also, novelty/change helps boost dopamine, and dopamine is necessary to contemplate and initiate tasks. It's not just about associations or ideal environments (though those factors are real too) but sometimes the most important thing is just any change at all. It's one reason why so many of us get regular cravings to rearrange furniture 😂

[@KeKe-bv8qv]

The 2 girls being targeted for human trafficking is such a face palm moment. But at the same time it's really common. The men giving them a bunch of money and treating them well is a common tactic to make the girls feel like they owe them something in return. It means they're more likely to agree to the oversees travel among other things. It's why the men were upset they didn't spend more money on their shopping trip. It's sickening and there needs to be more awareness around these tactics. Domestic abuse and financial abuse tend to have this kind of manipulation as well.

[@jupiter1311]

Facepalm moment is an odd way to describe it

[@EthanBuzzy]

the things you said around 23:00 this gave me the courage to tell my dad about the extreme trauma i went through and how my mom (divorced from dad) victim blamed me when she found out (from 10 years old to 17 years old was all the same reaction from my mom about several different men online, i had to scare myself out of meeting up with what was clearly traffickers because it didn't seem that bad compared to where i was)... thank you, you unlocked a braver part of me that nearly 5 years of therapy couldn't

[@EthanBuzzy]

a lot of what you say in your videos helps me cope with trauma with how insanely accurate you are with your comforting, thank you, not enough people talk about stuff you do with the seriousness and comforting needed to connect with the right people

[@quirkt]

trauma can affect people a lot. i hope ur doing better dude. :]

[@lubabanisar3093]

if you're poly and 'conventionally' attractive, people dont focus on the poly part at all. many people see poly people as people who just fuck around. same people, usually, think that attractive people fuck around a lot as well. so if you're conventionally attractive and poly you're just a charmer ig. makes no sense to me

[@rolfs2165]

I have at least two friends who are poly (in different relationships) and conventionally attractive. Both found their partners the old-fashioned way, they didn't advertise on dating platforms. Which probably also plays into it.

[@rye3752]

I cannot count the people who are very surprised to learn about my spouse and me being poly. We are by no means the most attractive people, we are just average attractive and very obviously emotionally deeply connected and cute with each other. They just put us in a box bc we look like a ""normal"" couple to them. Same about our queerness, cishet passing. Until we out ourselves as being a damn queer couple, nobody expects it. I have people in my life knowing me for over a decade that don't know (and don't listen to undertones enough to realize) I'm poly and queer. I think it is the bias there pushing that person's perception heavily, bc we expect people we find attractive or sympathetic to be "like us".

[@CorgiDaddy2]

Poly dude here. After I got so far in my transition, my wife sat me down and told me that she really needs another woman in the relationship and would I mind if we opened the relationship. We set some ground rules for safety and after a couple of terrible dates, she found the perfect girlfriend. Now they are married thru real estate, wife #1 and I are legally married, and we all live as one big happy family. I'd like to think that we were pretty attractive when we were younger. I still think they are both pretty hot. Been with Wife #1 for 30 years and wife #2 has been with us for 13 years.

[@seigeengine]

This is the thing. Attractive people don't need to use dating apps, and if they do, it doesn't take them long to find someone. So if someone is on a dating app, they're either less than stunning, or looking for casual hookups with strangers. Oh, and obligatory refrain that "poly" is not something you are, but something you do.

[@FunkyLittlePoptart]

@@seigeengine Um, no. It's an approach to relationships. I am a relationship anarchist. My partner(s) and I identify as poly. If I wasn't with them I would still be poly because I do not believe in monogamy. I *am* polyamorous. It's not an activity, it's a worldview.

[@herrforehead]

46:45 as someone with autism I am lucky to not have any issues with most foods but like the comment said, it's because 'junk food' is always the same. For example, you can have 10 blueberries - some will be bitter, some will be sweet, some will be soft and others hard, thick and thin skin is also a factor; you can have 10 chicken nuggets and if they were all cooked the same, they will be the same. Neurodivergent people call them 'safe foods' because they are safe and predictable

[@senorporko3299]

I love strawberries but when eating them they can't be squishy at all or I can't eat it

[@AlyxTheProtogen]

Is this why I am such a picky eater??? God I keep finding downsides to being autism!!!!

[@gabrielabatista6016]

I'm like this with apples. I don't like when they're too porous or soft, they need to be solid and crip, or I don't eat them. Same thing with grapes, I don't like them if they have seeds, only eat them cold (if they're warmer they get softer) and only eat the green ones.

[@CourierCat-isGod]

@@gabrielabatista6016 and you have to eat them IN LIKE 2 PICOSECONDS OR THEY TASTE LIKE POO

[@herrforehead]

@gabrielabatista6016 yeah, spongey apples are the worst

[@sorcerousfang]

1:54 I had this happen to me (the scam email - I did not send anything back, lol). When I read it, I cackled. That scammer didn't not know that he'd emailed the most uninterested aroace thirty-year-old this side of Ohio. 😂

[@ShanRenxin]

Same! Love from the biggest aroace west of the Missouri!

[@cryochick9044]

I have a friend who's a pornstar She got one of these scams She linked her page

[@tealkerberus748]

@@cryochick9044 Winning move. Kudos.

[@atimidbirb]

@@cryochick9044 THAT IS BEAUTIFUL LMFAO "You have my nudes? yeah so does like 10 thousand other ppl"

[@vvghostly]

heyyy, fellow not straight ohioan!!

[@macaronsncheese9835]

49:00 relevant fun fact: If you have a vocal cat, it's apparently pretty easy to train them to meow so it sounds like they're saying "hewwo". Do with this information what you will.

[@aromaladyellie]

My cat does that on his own. “Help!!” “Mom!!!!” “No!!!” (When we have to give him a bath) “hello!!!”

[@hoodiegal]

I had a manipulative ex, and the kind of love bombing being described in the groomer story is uncomfortably familiar. It is very easy to get swept along, especially if you haven't gotten much romantic attention before or if you're insecure about yourself. Learn to recognize it, and listen to your gut feelings. I'm so glad I got out of that relationship before things got too serious.

[@LeeLuvid]

Hii!!! Just wanted to say a while ago i went to a con and i immediately ran up to a person with an emotional support demon plushie who told me she was making a collection and if youre out here girlie that meeting lives rent free in my head. Youre super cool o7

[@lostshadows768]

20:46 I'd go to the police before blocking. If they seem interested in doing something about them, they might want to use the contact to set up a sting. If they seem uninterested, block them. And your friend needs to take extra precautions because they know where she works.

[@CodenameTurtle]

Didn't expect to get solid adhd advice from click but I appreciate it a lot! Many people around you think it's just exaggerated since you seem normal (whatever that means) and their attitude when it comes to daily chores and activities is like, "can't you just ..do it?" I understand how frustrating it must be to be on the outside. But it's a constant struggle of feeling like you have to do everything at once, short-circuiting, and always feeling like a failure even when you DO manage to do something right.

[@AwkwardAnxiousJennifer]

Before I was diagnosed AuDHD (autistic and ADHD), I asked on Facebook once something like "How do people just DO stuff?" and all the replies were like "I just do it, wtf are you talking about?!" Must be nice! I've spent the entire weekend actually wanting to write, and aside from KZbin comments, I've managed 7 words.

[@contra1124]

I didn't expect his description of building something up in your head to give me anxiety 😂

[@EnabiSeira]

Yeah. I've lost count on how many times I've told my sister that I can't do stuff whenever I want. My brain decides over me, not the other way around.

[@feuerling]

​@@AwkwardAnxiousJennifer then you take your meds and you actually manage to write a bit but you're still pacing the entire time and lose your appetite for the day. And then you get hit by every status effect when it wears off.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

@@feuerling I especially liked the "don't sit down with the goal of writing 10,000 words. Spend some time enjoying yourself and maybe write a page or two and if that doesn't work, just write a sentence or two and enjoy the dopamine hits of enjoying yourself while you actually complete a more realistic task."

[@blackbird42]

50:00 in short: a character can be gay, but gay can't be a character My favourite example of non-intrusive inclusivity would be Cyberpunk vs absolute atrocity created in Veilguard

[@Sonic-oh2ly]

30:30 its totally possible for an adult to have underage friends! I have some. However: 1. I didnt seek them out. They are my little brothers friends. 2. I am not actively interested in them, AT ALL 3. Im a bit slow compared to a typical adult, ive basically started being a teenager in my twenties due to bad life stuff and struggle to connect with other adults So yeah, its possible, but takes a pretty atypical person and circumstance to not be malicious.

[@waffles3629]

Yep. Like an age gap in a friendship is not inherently a red flag. The nature of the friendship, how it started and the direction it goes in is really what matters. I have a friend who is friends with his like 10 year old neighbor (well 10 at the time, I don't remember how many years ago it was). Obviously he knew the parent as well (single parent, I don't know why), but he'd take the kid on outings and such and it's not creepy at all.

[@aromaladyellie]

Yeah mine are my coworkers. Great kids. Would never do anything outside of work with them, mind. I didn’t even like texting one of them outside of work lmao but sometimes I had a question that only they would know the answer to. Now they’re of age and it’s still weird to text them.

[@jollywriter6258]

I didn’t get diagnosed with ADHD because my therapist said i was like 1 or 2 symptoms away from an official diagnosis. But she still tried to help me with attention deficit because i just can’t, man. However, yesterday i was self-isolated to the second floor of my house because my parents had guests over, and i finally could focus on tidying my room for over 6 hrs, after months of never being able to do more than 30 minutes. It felt so nice to see a difference and know that was all me.

[@rolfs2165]

I've had that TWO TIMES now (got a lot of points in the ADHD test, but not enough for a diagnosis). And it's kinda exhausting. I'm off to rehab for depression next month where I'll definitely mention it in the initial interview. We'll see what comes out of it, but I'm sure it'll be a more substantiated result after five weeks of talks and observation than a three-page questionnaire …

[@KRStephen]

​@@rolfs2165 a piece of advice: Don't let them shut you up when it comes to ADHD related difficulties. Keep reminding them that this is a major problem for you. If you feel a certain anti-depressant makes your ADHD symptoms worse or causes new ADHD related syntoms, tell them - and if this alone isn't enough of a reason to switch to different meds, insist on them making a note in your file. And don't mask! Mask as little as possible and tell them when/if you feel that certain progress is just you masking better again. I'm not trying to scare you and I don't want to assume that the staff in the place you're about to go won't listen. Most health care professionals really do and really want to help. But from experience, I know that places which deal a lot or even mainly with treating depression patients, those places might tend to overlook ADHD (at least when it does not present with clear hyperactivity). I guess its a mix of tunnel vision on their end and us patients being so good at masking and coping that we can seem like we are "doing just fine" even if we are bone-tired and exhausted. I was in a 2 year programme in which everyone just focused on my depression and anxiety and even if I spoke up about additional, different struggles and exhaustion, even if I brought up ADHD potentially being in the mix (I am diagnosed now, but wasn't then), this was brushed off, amongst other reasons because I seemed too competent - i.e. I was masking too well. And when I unmasked, it was interpreted as me not trying hard enough any more. Of the 2 years the programme lasted, at least 1 year (2nd half) wasn't very helpful for me and probably has actually made some things worse (temporarily). The thing is, part of the reason this happend was BECAUSE they meant well. They wanted me to succeed. They saw so much potential. And I didn't want to disappoint and I wanted to be a "good" patient. So I kept masking and overexploiting myself and stopped bringing up ADHD. Again, I really, really don't mean to scare you. I am happy you are getting help and I am sure it will be helpful and I wish you all the best. I also just really want to encourage you to stand up for yourself and for your "hunches and suspicions" as to what might be contributing to your depression. They may have years or even decades of experience in their field - but you are the person who has the most expirience with your case. Accept the help they offer. Consider viewpoints that haven't occured to you yet. Deal with uncomfortable truths they may tell you. But if you really believe they are missing something, don't hesitate to remind them. If you truely disagree with them, take your time to think about it and then tell them. Don't be afraid of not being the "good" patient. This is about you. It is supposed to be about you. You are allowed to make it all about you. I wish you all the best.

[@CorgiDaddy2]

I'm told that I am too old to have ADHD and since I was a girl who got good grades in school, there is no possible way I could have ADHD. Never mind that the reason I got good grades in school was because I hyper-focused as a way to cope with abusive situations at home so it was my only escape. Never mind that when a friend gave me a dose of his ADHD med and my brain FINALLY shut up for a few hours (this is well past any statute of limitations so no, we cannot get busted for a single dose over 15 years ago). Back when I was a child, ADHD wasn't even a common diagnosis and was thought to be pretty rare.

[@novariena]

@@rolfs2165 Yea it really is exhausting when your symptoms start affecting your daily life really badly (depression can be comorbid to undiagnosed adhd) but somehow it's not enough to get you diagnosed (often happens if you're a woman/poc)

[@ClownHoundII]

3:20 This question is so funny because literally the same thing cane be said about monogamous relationships. Yet anyone with common sense would know people vary good or bad. Just because I met a couple that refused to shower and protection because "straights don't spread diseases" doesn't mean every couple is like that.

[@HobieInTheBox]

39:36 ARGGHHH it hurts especially when kids don't understand this law when it's supposed to protect them. Age of consent means OP is allowed to engage intimately legally with, for example, a boyftiend her own age. If the boyfriend is 15 instead, his parents can sue OP and her parents for statutory r*pe bc their son isn't the age of consent yet. It's supposed to protect kids, not groomers. He's doing something very wrong.

[@sarasmedberg8203]

its sad to say ive had to educate adults on that law as well. its for teenagers, not an invitation for adults to sleep with a teenager - thats still illegal guys.

[@charis6311]

@@sarasmedberg8203 Depends on the country - not all are the same.

[@waffles3629]

Yep, it's to stop teenagers from ending up on offender registries for consensual actions with other people their age, not so older adults can do it with high schoolers.

[@HobieInTheBox]

@@charis6311 what are you talking about?

[@rainbowtropolis]

15:06 "I think bro is fine." 🤣🤣🤣👍

[@Neganium]

I love when a cat sits like a little man; for some reason the bigger the cat, the funnier it looks. He's not even putting his forepaws on the couch; they're just sort of resting on his tummy. Exquisite cat experience, 10/10.

[@Wildfire201X_LIVE]

24:16 this scenario highlights the importance of aftercare for particularly intense adult fun times. Aftercare is comfort, checking in, helping your partner if they had any injuries, just making sure everyone is ok afterward and feeling loved

[@leila-orbits]

How dare KZbin hide this from me for 56 seconds?

[@OszkarFulop]

an entire 4 minutes for me

[@RangeCMYK]

​@@OszkarFulopFor me a whole nine, the sheer audacity of the algorithm.

[@caldex1557]

13 minutes for me and I'm already ready to sue.

[@dantesinclare7365]

14 minutes!! Someone is getting stabbed

[@Sacroooooooooooooooooooooooooo]

57 MINUTES-

[@DriftingLightOfTheWoods]

Click talking about gut feelings is very real. I only had my gut instinct kick in a few times in my life, and each time it was either the vibe of a place being really off, or my gut being like "no, absolutely not" when first introduced to a person who then later turns out to be completely wrapped up in red flags. Do not ignore your gut instinct, ever.

[@waffles3629]

Same. Sometimes you aren't really sure, but sometimes your body is just screaming at you to run away as fast as you can. Don't ignore that feeling, it's probably for a reason, and better safe than sorry.

[@danakchampion]

I like that Click emphasized trusting their own gut instinct in both these predatory situations. My experience with being explained stranger danger as a kid was that it often confused me and scared me that danger could jump up out of nowhere, or emphasized that I was just a dumb helpless kid. As I grew older and developed more trust in my own judgement, I had to begin to splice apart the fears I had been taught that I still felt had a legitimate basis, from those that I realized were more about my mom's anxieties and mental illness. I resented having been made to feel like I needed to live in fear of so many things. Informing a young person about the red flags you see in the situation, while affirming their own developing discernment, seems like an approach that will help them develop confidence in themselves in the long term.

[@polasamierwahsh421]

but what happens if the gut feeling goes against what the brain says

[@lampyrisnoctiluca9904]

I believe our gut instinct is our subconscious telling us something. I have read somewhere that our brains usually consciously process less than 1% of what our senses receive. It is like that psychological experiment with the basketball players and the gorilla. We don't consciously notice what is right in front of us. I believe that when we have a gut feeling about something or someone, we should pay attention to it. Gut feeling is a serious thing. I wonder how many people had died for not trusting their gut instincts. Also, I believe our subconscious is by a huge margin smarter than we consciously are. That is why if my instinct is telling me something, I listen.

[@sassylittleprophet]

​@polasamierwahsh421 always go with your gut over your brain. My brain will often overwhelm me trying to find a reason to justify why I should get away, which I imagine happens because I've been abused and gaslit almost my entire life/for over 2 decades. Trust your gut over your brain. If the situation you escape ends up not being a big deal, it's still better to be safe than sorry. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.

[@Sp1derBedo]

the story with the teenage girl and older man is reminding me so much of something that happened to me. thankfully, it happened during covid so we couldn't meet up, but it went on for months. i brushed off all the signs until he tried something with my friend and that woke me up. i'm just glad that he was genuinely so fucking bad at grooming. like hilariously bad because i was at my lowest and i couldn't tell my parents because one was abusive and the other was toxic so i knew i'd be the one punished in the end, so i was already isolated aside from my best friend

[@Afurolypse]

I've been diagnosed with adhd as a kid, Been through dozens of medications, some of which worked for a few weeks before not anymore. But then when medical cannabis got legalized earlier this year i finally found my match, hope ya'll have luck

[@gamerfans1476]

Thank you for everything you do click, as a trans woman, who is terrified of the future living in the United States, it’s such a breath of fresh air, to watch your content, it helps ease my mind

[@Luna__137]

I hope that you will stay safe!

[@gamerfans1476]

@ staying positive is most of the battle, and having wonderful support, like my family, friends, and my boyfriend, I should be okay, but I’m more concerned about others than I am myself tbh

[@TheDopekitty]

I feel for you so much. I'm a trans guy in Canada and the plight of my trans friends in the states is terrifying to me. Hugs. if you're old enough and are a skilled employee, start looking into emigration to Canada

[@gamerfans1476]

@ I can’t afford it and have been looking for work for more than a year, had to move back with my adopted parents, I won’t say where, but it’s in the south and in the Bible Belt. I would be lying if I’d say I wasn’t scared, but I have no other options but to live here

[@wolvie1618]

Transman here and same. I know you said you cannot afford to move to Canada, but I feel like your best bet for inside the states is to move to my state, hawaii, if you can ever afford it. It's a pretty blue state, and they are working on protecting lgbt+ rights and treatment since that will be left to state legislation. Plus we are isolated enough that hopefully the orange a-hole will think we are a separate country and ignore us lmao. Stay strong, we got this, the bs won't last forever.

[@jojol.2630]

I feel like grooming is one of those things that if you have to ask, there’s probably something wrong.

[@TheLuckySpades]

25:15 this is also why aftercare is so important, for all people involved; especially for scenes that are this intense It helps you check in with the other person and reassure each other that this was what you wanted, that neither of you are bad since you are doing what you both wanted and cuddling after such an intense scene genuinely helps deal with the emotions Asking for external validation can make sense, especially if you aren't well read about/involved with communities of people who do this, so it isn't a stupid question to oost anonymously to a bunch of strangers, but the aftercare is still important since it is where the direct feedback will come from

[@SingingSealRiana]

Yes! Aftercare and safewords are absolutly crutial for everyone involved!!! You cant just gp with an intense scene and then act like nothing happened, both need reasurance and checking in on after!

[@parkery371]

​@@AIHumanEquality Safe words are something that, ideally, will never be used. They're not something that only dummies who don't know each other very well require. Obviously I don't know your relationships, but for anyone doing anything bdsm related, a safeword is crucial (even if it's only ever used when someone has a bad cramp, or needs to pee, or some other non-emergency reason). It's there in CASE of emergency, not because you'll 100% always need it.

[@TheLuckySpades]

@@AIHumanEquality and in case you misread a situation, in case the dom or the sub are having an off day, or in case something else goes wrong having a safeword can help If you never need to use it, good for you, but it is such a simple thing to establish and covers such a large swath of possible unforseen/unforseeable circumstances that I consider it a basic and simple precaution that should be taken Not burning yourself while cooking is something you mostly do in prep, knowing where the hot stuff is and to not touch it is standard, if you cannot remember where the hot stuff is you probably aren't that good of a cook I still have budn cream in my medical cabinet for that Same with cuts and bandages Same with so many things

[@krbthewitch]

​@@AIHumanEqualitya dom isn't a mind reader, and every situation is different and can go pear shaped in ones mind in ways no one can expect. If you have never needed the safe word then good for you, but many people have reasons to need one. Not to mention, it's possible for the Dom to need the safe word, it's not unheard of.

[@Ophelia381]

​@AIHumanEquality that makes you an extremely unsafe dom in my book and I would never play with you.

[@86fifty]

This is a really good episode - with the traffickers question and the CNC discussion, The Click sharing his wisdom can really help people who need to hear it. How abusers isolate you, how you should trust your gut. And do a controlled environment version of a fantasy that wouldn't be good to do IRL. Reminds me of those Rage Rooms that started in Texas, I think?? Where a company rents out a whole warehouse, and opens to the public, gives them bats, and lets them destroy a car in there, or other similar. Controlled environment to enact violence. Like white-hat hacking! Wanting to do a thing, even really liking doing a thing, nothing is automatically bad. It just falls on YOU to plan how and where you do it, with permission, and discussions, and set-up beforehand.

[@Goudenbloem]

13:00 About the ADHD, for me i find it helps to tell myself to do one very small thing (ex spend 3 minutes working on a project) because i find that once i stick my head in, i end up finishing it because im already doing it and it’s harder to switch tasks

[@AvianPenguin]

10:17 my sister has ADHD and I might too, to get her (and me)to do stuff I sometimes make it a game, and writing is my forte so I make up like DND stories and say, each area of the room she cleans might have the evil dragon in it

[@thatonewitch]

Aight, now Im gonna try to use this trick so i can do chores and not hate every second of it!

[@lydiaboll2872]

Maybe I’ll treat it like I’m the housekeeper for the Reservoir Dogs guys and I have to clean the house before they get back from their latest crime 🤣

[@WiseSageBum]

That's not a bad plan... I was diagonal last year, and TTRPGs one of my favorite hobbies

[@GremlinsInTheBasement]

You know it’s gonna be a good video when it starts with traumatizing scammers

[@justabthing-i4p]

Emotional support demon be like: “If you give a girl a sword you’ll rizz her up forever”

[@PaulCoyJR]

Everyone should open carry swords.

[@gamemaster4947]

“If you give a girl a sword, you’ll rizz her up forever. If you teach a girl the blade, she’ll be forever yours.” The Click chapter 1 verse 15

[@CorgiDaddy2]

@@PaulCoyJR It'd be more fun than open-carry firearms.

[@Milka29090909]

0:20 is giving me the same vibe as that one quote from T.Pratchetts "Hogfather" xD Quote in question: 'You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. 'She's a child!' shouted Crumley. IT'S EDUCATIONAL. 'What if she cuts herself?' THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.

[@ViktorErikFade]

Hearing stuff like "you can be older and not realizing you are being groomed" and "love bombing is a manipulation tactic " scares me so much because I'm so used to trauma and bad stuff happening around me and not knowing what normalcy is that I have a gut feeling I've had it happen to me a lot and just not kind of realizing it. Looking back at stuff no longer attatched to the situation, hind sight being 20/20 I can see signs of horrible toxicity and several exit strats I could have used but I also don't blame past me because what little coping skills I learned from past therapy I used to also get away from it and slowly distancing myself from said person for my own mental health.

[@Human75635]

As someone who games 100% gaming friend groups can have people of very different ages. As long as you aren't actively seeking out people of a much younger age it's fine. And yes gaming friends can get really really close. Some of the people who know me the best havent met me irl. But seeking out people who are SIGNIFICANTLY younger is CREEPY on so many levels [29:56]

[@ookamiblade6318]

Right and if you’re the older one it is your responsibility to not to take advantage. So if an older person asks to meet up, that is a 🚩 especially if they push for it after you express any doubt. If you as the younger person asks to meet up and they don’t hesitate, also a 🚩

[@wmdkitty]

@@ookamiblade6318 Yeah, you can be a friend, you can be an honorary "big sibling", or whatever, but there are lines that should never be crossed.

[@shirothefish9688]

Gaming is so wild when i was 18, i'd have a friend for like 2 years, and then one day realize he's got a 14 yr old kid and it's like "oh fuck, this guy's mid thirties. Damn. So another round?" and now, in my mid 20s, I'm getting the opposite effect of "wait, she's not even 20 yet? fuck I'm old huh..." And there's so few other places where you can just casually have an 18yr old be friends with a 37yr old, and it not look creepy.

[@ookamiblade6318]

@ it’s largely because it’s not in person, but youth pastors are another way this happens and is also rampant with people taking advantage. The biggest problem with gaming is that the rampant verbal abuse of female players leads to them bonding with anyone that doesn’t call them outright names. Inexperienced girls are easily lead to feel save with the bare minimum of decency priming them for grooming. And since we fail to teach the boys how to interact with women online, or even what grooming is, many of these guys don’t realize they’re doing it. Which doesn’t let them off the hook for their behavior, because at some point they should realize the age difference is creepy regardless, but means other men should start calling this behavior out. Bring up the studies that say racism and sexism is a skill issue and engaging in it means you’re advertising that you are a worse than average player. Games should include a shadow ban system that can force these players to only play with each other and with moderators who can give them a chance to leave the shadow ban for good behavior.

[@CaoMeiRin]

Ouch...Clic saying all the things someone should have told me when I was 14-20 years old, in the exact and only tone and attitude, I would had trusted, accepted and considered enough to listen to. Thank you, I'm sure someone is needing it now and will be safe because you did said it.

[@CRanunculus]

5:54 sounds like an inflation kink technician in the making. The mental image of a rough session ending with the world's longest queef is hilarious XD

[@tarrantwolf]

So7nding like a balloon deflating. Or like a balloon when you pinch the neck as it's deflating.

[@sarahyruegas2736]

The grooming one is so sad. Ive known to many people growing up as gen z that got groomed. Luckily they never met their groomers and then the groomers gave up but its scary and its sad. And i hope this kid gets away from this. This isnt safe this isnt love this is an abuser. Theirs so many humans on this earth you can find someone who genuinily loves you in your age range.

[@owngamesgamer4030]

12:40 when you started talking about the dishwasher I was like "I should take out the dishes". I went did that, in two bits lied down in the middle of doing that because youtube shorts are a crime on ADHD people. when I came back to my pc and unpaused the video you where talking about cleaning the house and doing laundry. U decided to clean up my imidate sarroudnings took some cups and plates to the now empy dish washer, then I saw the laundry on the floor of my bathroom and decided to put in a load. Thank you click That talk did way more than you could have ever imagnied.

[@pavuchoklavander8510]

48:58 that is actually a thing with cats - they lack the understanding that they are *cats* so they will just model their behavior based on who raised them. For example, if a kitten was raised with dogs in the house, it will try to bark and fetch and all that. Same with humans - they will try to sit like a person and sometimes even use the toilet like one

[@dziooooo]

One of my cats doesn't rub against things and doesn't understand when the other cat wants to groom her. Because she was very sick as a kitten and spent months in the isolation ward in a clinic, without direct contact with other cats. She thinks she's a very small human with knife fingers. 🤷🏼

[@lampekartoffel]

40:53 thank goodness internet strangers managed to save her! If her parents aren't the sort she can talk to (which I assume they aren't since her mother snoops in her phone) I hope she finds peers soon, or an online community (maybe as a result of the post) that she can connect with and have emotional talks with. When I lost my father as a 10 y/o I lost my emotional support and didn't get a new one until I found my chosen family as a high schooler. I know, looking back at my past with the eyes of an adult, that I was also groomed online as a pre- and young teen, but thankfully my social anxiety and the fact I lived far out the countryside with very little pocket money, meant I never met up with those grooming me. I hope OP's story has a happy ending and find the emotional support she needs.

[@chaucernerd1690]

This adhd discussion-I was 57 when I finally got the understanding as to why I feel paralyzed even on small tasks. Your compassion was good to hear. It’s exhausting to deal with, and I can’t be medicated for my adhd because of other meds I have to take. It is indeed a bitch to deal with. Thank you!

[@lynneconklin917]

I'm 58 now, and its only been in the last few years that I've considered that I might be a little ADHD. I've always had that hyper-organized/total chaos cleaning style, home maintenance. Family has always joked that I'm a little OCD cleaning and organizing some things, while other stuff is hidden away in the junk drawer or junk closet to be dealt with 'later' which means if I move, the drawer/closet falls apart, or I swear the item I need is in there and then I clean and sort for 2 days and forget that one item I originally went to look for. I only started considering that I may be ADHD as one of the grandchildren is being diagnosed and trying different medications for most effectiveness for him. And my oldest is being diagnosed as adult ADHD, and the middle son says he needs to get serious about following up on his ADHD, and my youngest is going back to seeing someone for their ADHD. And every one looks at me and asks how old I was when I was diagnosed....

[@lingodelfo5415]

45:25 it's not gay, it's self-love lol

[@pineapple_smoothie17]

Something about abusers and predators is that when they try to ask you gross and creepy questions, they leave it vague for a reason, so that if or when you tell someone about it, then can say that they didn't mean anything weird and that you're looking too far into things.

[@lampekartoffel]

18:37 That's a little late to get "stranger danger"!!?!! You spent THEIR MONEY because they told you to "max out their cards"?!? That's already "Nigerian Prince just looking for people to throw his fortune at" level of red flag! Those girls are lucky they haven't already been caught in the honey trap... My goodness...

[@CorgiDaddy2]

We really need classes in school that teach the basics of online safety and responsibility. Start teaching them young. Have parents AND schools reinforce those lessons. And it shouldn't be a one-time thing. It should happen at least once in every level of school.

[@kellyhandrick7235]

Some of these were really tough topics, and I am so glad that you covered them. You did such an amazing job of pointing out red flags, and your genuine care and concern came through every word. As a DV survivor, everything you said was perfect and I wish I had someone like you in my corner all those years ago. Thank you for being such a sweet and caring person.

[@carniethedat7071]

So about the post at 23:47... I love when people are alarmingly straightforward about kink in the bedroom. It's such a relief to not have to tap dance around what sometimes feels like a landmine in the wrong context. And in this case, being blunt is the best way to get that point across. Whatever it is, so long as you're doing it with the consent and enjoyment of your partner in a controlled scenario, it's generally fine. Just because something *seems* harmful doesn't mean that it *is* so long as it stays within healthy limits and ends the instant the scene does. Though if you ask a friend of mine, he'd say that the reason why it's being done is also important... so take mental, emotional, and physical health into account when calculating safety too, I suppose.

[@cheddarcheezit2647]

This! Plus- if you don't feel like you can communicate bluntly and honestly with a partner, it might not be a good idea to be intimate with them at all. Just my two cents

[@tarrantwolf]

You can't forget that sometimes people think they want things that they don't actually want and think they can handle things they can't actually handle. Safewords and aftercare only go so far.

[@realMaggyMage]

I really like how you talked about the fact that predators tries to isolate you, and you should usually talk with your parents, but i do feel like you missed the fact that talking with your parents is not an option for everyone

[@waffles3629]

Yep. If I was being mistreated by teachers in school I could not go to my spawn points for help because they would just side with the teacher/school 100% of the time. I know this because I once was punished for "lying" to my teacher for saying my parents didn't do my homework for me....homework they hadn't done for me. They punished me for saying they hadn't done a thing they hadn't done. The same teacher also called a parent conference to discuss the fact that I'd been spending 6 hours a day in the bathroom for months. The school day was only 6.5 hours long, and lunch was half an hour. So assuming I was eating lunch, that would mean I was in class for 0 minutes a day, and that I was skipping the other classes (art, music and PE), AND that this had been going on for MONTHS without them being notified, all while I managed to turn in all assignments including class work. Yeah, I got in trouble for "refusing" to say what I was doing all day, because apparently it couldn't be that I was actually in the classroom because there was no way she could miss the student whose desk was closest to hers (that was random). You had to ask to go to the bathroom, so she was giving me permission but claiming I was never in her room ever. You'd have thought my spawn points would be more concerned that I apparently hadn't been seen by my teacher in over a month without calling home to see why I wasn't in school, but no, I was in trouble until I admitted "the truth".

[@skylazer4065]

ADHD for me: I don't use medication, but I do follow lifehacks, like hanging my backpack on the doorhandle of the front door so I don't forget it. leave keys in the correct place 90% of the time, etc. Also a good way for me to get myself to clean up the house is knowing when I have a visitor coming over. Also also, when I get stuck in a "i need to do x, but that requires me to do z first, and then y comes after x" I force my brain to calm down and only focus on doing z first, and when that's done I go do x.

[@thulium_3169]

this subreddit is such a mix of very normal questions and then the true unhingedness that comes when an unhinged question has a normal answer or the other way around and then there's just the real depths where you find unhinged questions with just as unhinged answers. yes..

[@SkylerNightsky-z5n]

People are too afraid to ask and some are terrified while reading

[@RPGLover87]

Something with executive dysfunction is that it's important to talk about it because many people don't know that it's a genuine thing, and assume worse motives, like my workmate and I were discussing how annoying it is to be Pathologically Demand Avoidant, that it's so frustrating when we intend to do something, then someone asks us to do so and suddenly we just cannot do it anymore because something in our brain shuts down. My other colleague heard us discussing it, we brought up that it's a common comorbidity with autism and ADHD and she mentioned that she thought it was "just a boy thing" as her son can sometimes be like that. The fact that my workmate is female was very important for the conversation too as it broke the pattern of "Oh, it's a boy thing"

[@DecemberDaydreams]

I thought this was normal tbh🤔

[@elaineb7065]

I requested to be asked or suggested at a job I had once because direct orders bring the PDA right out

[@esbenm6544]

I'm going to make a broad sweeping statement: there's no such thing as forced diversity. There is such a thing as a writer not being ready for primetime and writing a half-baked character. There is such a thing as a marketing department imposing a casting choice on a director. But none of these market forces are essentially different than what you might see in Hollywood in the 1950's. Sure it is not the exact same things they request today but the reasoning largely is.

[@lampyrisnoctiluca9904]

to me, what you described is a forced diversity.

[@GreatHammerEnjoyer]

"The best resturaunts don't need to advertise" Then five minutes later "This video is sponsored by Raycon everyday earbuds"

[@dash0mysh]

Ok, I get that but like he’s getting paid to do it, and without the money, there is no cliccy thiccy

[@GreatHammerEnjoyer]

@dash0mysh I see that perspective, I respect it too, and I do think our cliccy boy deserves some extra cash, but I think he'd be doing just fine without sponsors. With all the ad revenue, merch sales, and whatnot.

[@TheCalucita]

For my ADHD crowd, the constant exhaustion is part of ADHD. I could fall asleep anywhere, at anytime, before meds. Just constantly wiped. With meds, turns out I can take a 20 min nap instead of a 4hr afternoon comatose interlude. Be kind to yourselves ❤ Additionally, a creator that also has ADHD once said "If it is worth doing, it is worth half assing". If it is worth cleaning your room, it is worth half assing the clean: you have a better space to sleep regardless. If it is worth doing the laundry (all 3 rounds) it is worth half assing anf just doing one of the colors/types.

[@snekysneks]

is this why I'm tired all the time?!

[@EspeonMistress00]

​@@snekysneksThere is a term for it. I think it's called involuntary sleepines?

[@SkylerNightsky-z5n]

I now can’t get the idea out of my head of click having kids just to raise an army of trained knights

[@zakuraRabbit]

I feel like what the final asker calls "tokenism" has been around for decades... In the 90s most shows I watched featured a friend group of three, at least one member of the friend group was always a different gender, and one was always POC (not necessarily the same person...sometimes it was just one white person in the group too) For example: That's So Raven- Black girl, white girl, black boy. Braceface- White girl, Asian/Italian girl, white boy. American Dragon- Asian boy, white boy, black girl. Its not new. They've always been doing this so they can get representation for minorities, most likely so they can get those groups to watch their shows. Once in a while those shows even had gay characters pop up and most people didn't even care. (Granted to begin with they were pretty stereotypical) Now we're seeing more and more gay representation and it may seem like a lot... but that's because we've had so little representation in the past and now the writers who grew up during the times of little gay rep are trying to make up for it. I'm just glad most people got over the whole "You need to watch this show it has a gay character" that used to be all over Tumblr way back. Now we have several great shows that happen to have gay characters in it, and shows no longer have to use basic representation as a selling point.

[@charimonfanboy]

People have gotten over it because it has become so common. When I was a kid the only gay representation I ever saw was adverts for the so Graham Nortron show. As a young teenager I remember getting up at 2am in the morning, sneaking downstairs and watching queer as folk with the sound on the lowest setting, sitting on the floor next to it so i can just about hear it without my parents waking up. Because as a sheltered gay kid from a religious family, I knew of no one else like me, either on TV or in real life.

[@sevenember3332]

There’s a kerfuffle going on in the gaming world right now because of representation and writing it as a result of a game that just came out. Your character has the option to be portrayed as trans (good) with top-surgery scars in a world of limited medical or magical support for such a procedure (???). The dialogue options don’t realistically match how some trans people think in that they are “becoming” their gender, not that they *are* their gender. Another problem is with the writing around a non binary person. Said person is written as their identity and nothing more. Unfortunately, the majority of writing for entertainment feels like this. Explicit rather than diegetic and natural. Like if they don’t blatantly remind you every few minutes, you might forget anything non-cis exists. Why not just write a character who is a standard person and only mention they are not having luck finding a same gender partner in the dating scene? Move on and later on, they find someone and introduce them. They can be nonbinary and explain their partner doesn’t tie their identity to their reproductive organs. Again, move on. Basically, such things should be mentions with the occasional reference or reminder, not on-screen all the time only as stereotypes

[@zakuraRabbit]

@@sevenember3332 Poor writing will happen regardless unfortunately. Perhaps more often so when you have cis/straight writers writing trans/gay characters... The best stories come from people within the LGBT-community who are writing about what they know. And those have become more common lately which I'm happy for. But then you'll have upset gamers outright crying because they have the OPTION to select they/them as their character's pronouns... Its just an option guys. You don't have to pick it.

[@SvenVersluis]

I feel like a big difference between the examples you mention and some of the more modern characters that people complain about, emphasis on some, is that these older characters were more than just (insert minority group here), they felt like actual characters with actual personalities, like Maria was not just the Asian/Italian girl, Trixie was not just the black girl. For some of the more modern characters on the other hand, them being (insert minority here) is the only thing they are, or at least supposedly the most important thing they are.

[@zakuraRabbit]

​@@SvenVersluis Again that's just bad writing but I feel like we're finally moving away from that. Luz from the Owl House isn't just bisexual. Garnet from Steven Universe isn't just two lesbians in a trenchoat.

[@juniperalanis2106]

I have adhd and the best I can explain it is I often Hyperfixate on something and give it all of my attention, but I can't chose what the thing is. It could be (and often is) a rock

[@SkullMama89]

It did take a while to get my ADHD diagnosis but that's only because I was given assessment forms to fill out and send back in MYSELF. I kept misplacing them and had a lot of things going on that year. I got my diagnosis on Nov 15th and will be starting on medication as soon as I manage to get my butt down to the pharmacy to pick it up 😅.

[@HobieInTheBox]

9:59 This is definitely a big reason why they're experiencing this. Society was not made for neurodivergents. We always catch the short end of the stick when it comes to this.

[@Tricia_K]

But never the short end of the Click!

[@reggiereggiesauce5755]

13:28 one strategy I use that helps me to avoid becoming overwhelmed with my to-do list is to employ what I call the Now and Next strategy. What do you need to do first, and what’s the one thing you need to do after that? Don’t think about any further things to do. Just the one you’re currently working on, and have ‘then afterwards I need to do X’ in your mind. Only think about the one thing after X after you finished your current job.

[@alexandersweetboyo4242]

I will write myself out a to-do list and then take a second paper and fold it over my to-do list to only show the tasks I've finished and currently need to do because seeing a bunch of stuff to do is overwhelming for me

[@joparkin6960]

I do that too - I call it "double-barrelling" though! When I've done the two things, I can "reload" with another two. 🙂

[@petrfedor1851]

I try to do same calling it "one enemy after another" (sounds better in my first language)

[@LMBillingsley]

I so empathize with the person with ADHD (I have it too) and executive dysfunction is the WORST. I find it can help to gamify a lot of the tedious chores, or do timers (5 minutes to do dishes, and then 5 minutes of laundry, etc, you may find once you get started it's easy to finish, but it's easier to start with a time limit in mind). Also, I feel like a lot of these things all together is a tall order even for neurotypicals, and it's totally normal to feel tired and burnt out with a full schedule. It's unrealistic to set these expectations for yourself, even in the best of situations, and all the folic acid in the world isn't going to change that.

[@sashadoom]

YESSS! I was going to suggest the timer method - it gets you over the starting friction and more often than not, I keep going beyond the 5 or 10 minutes that I was able to commit to. I find it works much better than committing to a small, specific task b/c it's a set increment that ensures you'll get _something_ done, without the pressure of having to complete it all at once. You nailed it with your 2nd point as well.

[@snekysneks]

as someone who probably has adhd and is definitely autistic, I will try this

[@Stars-7w7]

29:00 I think it's important to point out that some adults with developmental disabilities can feel more comfortable around younger people because of their own mental age. I'm not saying it's good, it's obviously not the case here but it still something to consider. Sometimes its good to not jump into conclusions.

[@namaking3993]

I have adhd, non-medicated aside from copious amounts of caffeine. As well as MS (so some days even if I can get the brain to focus the body will NOT operate) I live my life by lists. Highly detailed lists and timers. My husband might get it if list says "clean kitchen" means to wash and put away dishes, sweep the floor, take out trash ect... my "clean kitchen" list is about 30 items. Because it is completely written out to put away dishes, wash dishes, wipe the stove, wipe each counter, put spices away, take out the trash, put in a new bag, ect... every single task is written out. And then because I have about a 15 minutes attention span (and often physical capacity) I set the timer for 15 minutes and get done from my lists what I can. I will take a break for at the least 10 minutes to avoid the obsessive/manic cleaning mode from kicking in (learned from many a time deciding to rearrange my whole kitchen in the middle of putting away dishes, or rearranging all the furniture in the middle of picking up odd bits from my living room) I am in my 40s and have a daily chores list that makes me seem like a young child. I also have a list by the door for leaving the house (and a family thankfully that reads off my list sometimes... phone, keys, wallet, drink, bags, ect...) I have alarms for waking up, for taking my MS meds, for when to clean, when to cook and when to get ready for bed and then go to bed. It still isn't perfect, but my house is neat enough for company, I get sleep more after setting alarms for it, and I don't require nearly as many runs back into the house for things I forgot. My lists used to embarrass me and overwhelm me as I used to simply write this room or that room or maybe put some small break down of things. But each individual task broken down, though it creates pages of things to do, and alarms get them done, works quite well for me. There are tons of little victories to celebrate, and even my family and friends can appreciate my lists if they come to help me after a run of bad MS days because it's super easy for us all to divide and conquer.

[@AN-rc2ho]

Perfect father, teaching the emotional support demons how to fend off any negative emotions by sword >:3

[@alexiell10]

The erectile disfunction comparison was SO GOOD. Like you want for things to work but it just doesn't. And the more you try, the more you feel like faliure and more frustrated you get. That was the best thing I heard for a while and will be definately using it

[@binglemarie42]

14:00 There's a very good book about living with executive dysfunction called *How to Keep House While Drowning*. It's really helpful with ways to chip away at chores, a little bit at a time.

[@seigeengine]

I mean... I would point out that if you're drowning the answer is to stop worrying about keeping house.

[@All54321]

6:50 It is a very strange question, but you do gotta appreciate that they’re trying to learn about this instead of just guessing about it. Nice to see.

[@LunaStarRocks]

@11:07 that story it could be the iron messing with the medication. I had to take iron before I was diagnosed with BD and I noticed my medication not working the way it should and my grandmother (who has been a nurse for YEARS) said the iron can inhibit your body from absorbing the medication.

[@impishtwink8144]

i have adhd with really bad executive dysfunction and unfortunately stimulants tend to have adverse effects for me so i am currently unable to treat it :( its super frustrating and my psychiatrist is no help.

[@SpringStarFangirl]

Have you tried SNRIs? Technically they're antidepressants, but they're non-stimulant meds you can try.

[@impishtwink8144]

@@SpringStarFangirl no idea what those are. im currently taking fluoxitine (however you spell it) for depression n stuff and its the one medication thats ever made a significant positive change.

[@SpringStarFangirl]

@@impishtwink8144 SNRIs are selective norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors, aka medications that increase the levels of norepinephrine in your brain. It's one of the hormones that have too low levels in folks with ADHD.

[@Kati_P]

Great timing! I was watching an old Click video, but I clicked on (pun intended) this as soon as it popped up, because I love me some Click and emotional support demons and landsharks. 😘💜

[@knuxenglish]

The emotional support demon having the emotional support sword better be building up to a knight ESD. Otherwise i will be disappointed.

[@kimicappiello5480]

With a little knight hat with a visor?

[@Dfarrey]

​@@kimicappiello5480and a little sword with Velcro that sticks to their little toe beans?

[@kimicappiello5480]

@Dfarrey YES! 🥰

[@kimicappiello5480]

@Dfarrey maybe a little shield?

[@ladykoiwolfe]

And a little breastplate!

[@charlottecooper9970]

30:06 I'll admit I had friends online that didn't know my age I wasn't open about my age until I got to know someone. But I was also groomed so definitely be careful