Rabbi YY Jacobson - Why Are So Many Marriages Failing?

Rabbi YY Jacobson on the "Let's Get Real" series with Asher Parnas and life coach Menachem Bernfeld.
A few minutes of audio are missing from this video (49:53 to 52:29) please go to www.theyeshiva.net/jewish/7842 which has the full, corrected audio.
To watch more classes & to read Rabbi YY's articles visit: www.theyeshiva.net
Follow Rabbi YY:
KZbin: / theyeshiva
Facebook: / theyeshiva
Instagram: / yyjacobson
Twitter: / yyjacobson
#marriage #divorce #rabbiyyjacobson

[@deborahchin7221]

After having lost my way a bit, I am now reconnected to you! Amen!

[@estig.1798]

Rabbi Y Y!!! Your opening speech was empowering knowledgable emotional and so intelligent and emesdik!!! Being married for 31 years with its challenges good ones and “painful” ones, we are still learning one another Especially now beginning our 50’s (as grandparents who b”h still have children at home) there has never been a better time than now to learn to empower our marriage learn about one another’s personality’s our needs each individually and together!!! Thank you for your uplifting message I have even summarised it in order to remind and remember May Hashem bless you for all your great work!!!!!

[@newme2308]

Love this speech thank you ! If you can please make more marriage speeches

[@johnkuipers7829]

Good god no. He says nothing of importance. Jus his own ramblings.

[@maxlisk80]

@@johnkuipers7829 he's forgotten more than you'll ever know.

[@RDR18851]

@@johnkuipers7829 very mean. if you didn't like it, why did you watch it?

[@bv459]

Wow. Just wow! This discussion is so equitable, perspicacious, candid and inspiring. Congratulations on this extremely wise counsel!❤

[@IwasBlueb4]

I love the accent... the words, a lot of what he says.... My great grandmother was Jewish...Maybe that is why I am drawn to many Jewish customs..language, music, weddings, Hassidic modesty...

[@YM21X]

Your great great mother Jewish?? From mothers side? If yes...then so are you

[@rlperl4528]

If yes, you are Jewish!

[@Lyrics4y0u]

if your mother's mother's mother was the jewish great grandmother you mention--then the other commenters are correct.

[@cheryldeboissiere1851]

I have a maternal great great grandmother who was Shephardic but my grandfather said he wasn’t Jewish throughout his life. People accused him of it & were rude about it. So we have Jewish blood 🩸 in the family, enough to get my grandfather sent to a gas chamber but we didn’t live in Germany or German controlled territories. So wouldn’t exist without it but not Jewish.

[@Irwin10010]

Yasher Koach Rabbi Jacobson on your terrific advice. I see you learned ALL the amazing answers from living with your Ayshes Chayil. Dee ust git gedavened!!!

[@tomaszkalember1657]

Incredibly awesome - Thank you for shering the wiesdom

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Our pleasure!

[@adamelkins4612]

Beautiful messages Rabbi YY.

[@SG-st9dl]

So much wisdom!

[@johnkuipers7829]

Really? I could write this stuff. Wisdom? There is no "wisdom" here. Just rambling f an old man, and he could have shortened it all to maybe a few bullet points.

[@TamSea01]

What an eye opening and amazing shiur! Todah Rabba, Kvod HaRav!

[@yvonnesegers3214]

Thank you Rabbi! This helps me a lot. 56:00 minutes, so good!

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Glad it helped!

[@vijjykirghiz7340]

This is so power full

[@yonipalmer1923]

This was amazing. A huge yasher koach to you all. Avodas Kofdesh.

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

thank you!

[@CDGMR1]

Great video, thank you.

[@ayimaayima2784]

Amazing teaching

[@valereehansen4378]

PS, tomorrow my husband is going to help me by putting this video link on my Facebook page. Thank you.

[@fireballfred7280]

Walks are Amazing its such a Great opportunity. the space outside helps to clear some of the stress and problems get sorted

[@HR_BH26]

Thank you so much it really helps me to build my future marriage life It gives me a good advice how to handle and cure in every struggle in marriage B'H

[@user-kg2uf8tq7p]

Another excellent session! Thank you so much! I wish it would be translated to Hebrew so I could show it to friends.

[@janety.e.856]

Khazak Wu Meborakh

[@yvonnegordon1952]

great talk:

[@LauraRamirez-sl3us]

Shalom. Todáh Rabáh for sharing this video. It was awesome.!! 💙🇮🇱💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@saratekle1029]

I am a Christian but I love r your teaching on the Old Testament

[@alexanderkaper7881]

יישר כח

[@abraham2197]

1:02:33 is very powerful/good

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Thank you!

[@avieshapiro4607]

Wow! I believe that Rabbi Y.Y.'s two introductory messages should be required listening and studying for all Chassonim and Kallos BEFORE their Misader Kiddushin agrees to let them go ahead with their wedding.

[@debbieestherperez7115]

One who should love her does not. Ferls he could do whatever he wants. So strengthen each other and fight to stay together.

[@debbylev]

This is exceptinonal. Wonderful, life altering insights! A question, please. For some reason, there is no sound from 49:53 to 52:29. Crucial words missing. Is there a recording that has that part complete, please?? Thank you!!

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Sorry it was an error, but we do have the sound for that. The corrected version soon will be uploaded to our website Theyeshiva.net. I will send you link when it's available

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Go to www.theyeshiva.net/jewish/7842 at 49:53 to 52:29 and the video there has the full sound

[@avivaceder5308]

Thank you!

[@StillYHWHs]

❤❤❤50:36 no sound for a long period.

[@fireballfred7280]

Hypnosis can be very helpful

[@EdgarStyles1234]

weak men and feminism together... weak doesn't mean you are not mean, far from, having kindness and strength is hard.

[@IwasBlueb4]

Eitan R Excellent comment

[@63rdstreet8]

Somewhere in the 49th min to the 52nd there's no audio

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

From the description above: *A few minutes of audio are missing from this video (**49:53** to **52:29**) please go to **www.theyeshiva.net/jewish/7842** which has the full, corrected audio.*

[@hannatelis7581]

I was divorced Now I regret Because is nice joined together Children and grandchildren People divorce that not good For your children People have work out.

[@Thelittleclipstore]

It all depends if it’s ur soul mate or not.. the biggest misconception here is that ppl belive abuse is what makes or breaks a marriage.. it’s much more about being a match on soul level.. if someone cannot forget their divorced spouse and feel strong connection u may be right and there’s need to work it out.. as long there was progress and improvement u should probably stay.. and the rewards and pleasure will be amazing .. but it has to be urs , u have to feel u have impact on that person. Things grow and move etc

[@Thelittleclipstore]

I divorced few yrs ago and it’s best thing ever done for me and my kids .. I don’t miss him at all and I feel I got my life back and my kids.. each situation is different

[@vijjykirghiz7340]

How can I contect you

[@marylem9277]

The G-d of Israel created the institution of marriage between a man/woman. If both parties committed themselves first to the G-d of Israel and then to their husband or wife. Their marriage would be strong during trouble times, why! because they put the G-d of Israel first before all things. Life itself brings challenges, but through faith with the G-d of Israel brings hope, strength, and compassion that can get a marriage through the most difficult times, no matter what. One asks why? Reading the Torah, beyond any shadow of any doubt that the G-d of Israel will always be there for them, divorce is not an option, it's about a life time commitment made before the G-d of Israel. Honor the G-d of Israel first, and then the marriage will last.

[@nowtimesentertainment168]

Thank you 😊

[@wallyreyes9493]

Wisdom. HE is full of grace and truth,both are needed. The curse of low expectations.

[@mauricioantoniodesouzasamu9534]

TORAH AND QUANTUM PHYSICS Dear Rabbi. When I didn't even dream of the Torah, I studied Quantum Physics in graduate school and I observed that Physicists loved Eternal Nature because even if the Universe came to disappear, as physicists have long discovered the Laws of Entropy thatpredict the annihilation of the current Universe, the Laws of Physics and their complex mathematical expressions will exist forever. But few know Quantum Physics to take advantage of this eternal vision Now that I have met the Torah, I see that She is the ETERNAL vision accessible to everyone. Therefore, seeking to see Gd through nature was understandable in Maimonides' time; but, physicists have long since discovered the law of entropy proving that disorder prevails in the universe. And, if you look for Gd looking at the stars, then Entropy prevails because fire is the entity of nature with the highest degree of disorder. It remains to accept the interpretation of RASHI that recommends the Torah as the only source of contemplating the Eternal Do not forget that the order given by the Eternal is that: - We must not worship the stars! Shalom to everyone

[@bijdavbby]

Shalom bais is most important

[@bijdavbby]

Divorces are sometimes neccessary

[@omarschez4706]

Whatever happened to Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. That is what (יהוה) Hashem says. We could all have difference of opinions, however; the wisest of us all said that.

[@valereehansen4378]

I met my husband in 1992, we married in 1995. We retired mid 2017, just before we went through the devastation of Hurricane Maria here in Puerto Rico. After retiring, our relationship got more tender. We are closer than before, and we learned more about communicating with each other. I think that retirement gave us time. Time to be together, much more than when our focus was work, work work. Rabbi YY, mentioned in a video, long ago, about the intended direction of one's efforts when communicating. Maybe not exactly in those words. Thank you for this video.

[@verityprevails6804]

@BeeBaBird That's because they're true soul mates. It's called 'Zivug Amiti'.

[@RDR18851]

Rabbi Jacobson, what do you mean (practically) when you say "have compassion for yourself"? you say that a lot and I'd appreciate elaboration on how to do that. Thank you!

[@jicajacobsonkimbreaux]

Well I'm certainly not the Rabbi, I'm not even Jewish (although my maiden name IS Jacobson...😂), but I've learned a lot about self-compassion from one of the most compassionate teachers of our time- the Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh. Yongey Mingur Rinpoche is another Buddhist monk who has easily understood practices here on KZbin. One way is to imagine yourself as a child and extend compassion and empathy towards that child, hug them, and offer comfort instead of blame and criticism. To realize and accept that we all inherited certain misconceptions and habits from our parents, but instead of fighting against our flaws, to gently sit with them, feel and accept them. Eventually, this new compassion that you've developed for yourself will allow you to also see the innocent inner child in everyone else, which then allows them the opportunity to be vulnerable and to potentially open up/reconnect and improve the relationship. It may just allow you to have more compassion for others, however, which is still a merit on its own.

[@RDR18851]

@@jicajacobsonkimbreaux thanks for this explanation! it certainly hold true and I've heard idea from others. p.s. - I think it's really interesting that your name is Jacobson!

[@theempoweredwifebookclub6122]

Communication is overrated. Check out Laura Doyle's podcast on youtube. Shes all about woman taking their power back without the means conscious effort. The results are mind blowing

[@judithfriedmann3499]

We do not hear you

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

*A few minutes of audio are missing from this video (**49:53** to **52:29**) please go to **www.theyeshiva.net/jewish/7842** which has the full, corrected audio.*

[@yehoshuagoldstein7392]

A marriage is only a marriage when you are dealing with two humans. If one partner is disturbed or a narcissistic abuser, you cannot call that a marriage. For those people, divorce is a mitzva!

[@johnkuipers7829]

Exactly.

[@wallyreyes9493]

The other chose that mate without taking responsibility for it. Grow up, marriage is very important, a HOLY AND RIGHTEOUS GOD ask us too take responsibility and marry into a holy marriage so that we might have a holy heritage. If you make a mockery of marriage and marry such a person, it says a lot about you.

[@abbywong5403]

99.9% of people in China don’t eat bat. My dad lived in Wuhan as a kid and lived all over Asia and had never heard of people eating bat. I asked other people from Mainland China. They told me the same thing. Please note. Thank you.

[@EliCohen1]

What a brain! Wow.

[@avivaceder5308]

And a heart!🙂❤️😃

[@JeffKohn]

@@avivaceder5308 and willingness to share both

[@fireballfred7280]

Sound went off

[@acspanday8728]

Thank you for your comment. I thought perhaps the sound cut off on my end. Toda

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

Sorry it was an error, but we do have the sound for that. The corrected version soon will be uploaded to our website Theyeshiva.net. I will send you link when it's available

[@RabbiYYJacobson]

www.theyeshiva.net/jewish/7842

[@RhonaDavis-lz3qp]

What alot of common sense

[@lawrencetendler7747]

Marriage is a wonderful Institution .... but who wants to live in an Institution ?

[@jayt7951]

Because of bullys like yy Jacobson.

[@johnkuipers7829]

Because a lot don't have the commitment to stick it through the hard times. That simple. Yet some are better off divorced. Don't need a Rabbi to say the obvious. Why is it that Jews think Rabbis are all wise? They are just another person, scholared, then lord it over everybody. High divorce has been a reality for decades. I see that in the old days IIn the old staying together was done - despite the misery. But many came through and still loved each othe. There should be no shame in divorce. Okay, it's a failure. Keep under the same roof because of the kids? Rubbish. The kids are better off not living in a toxic environment.

[@Thelittleclipstore]

I belive it cuz we don’t know who we are and who’s our match.. most divorced ppl weren’t married to their soul mate to begin with.. has nothing to do with spouse being difficult . Most recall never really being attracted to their spouse and it was simply arranged marriage

[@Thelittleclipstore]

Try separating two best friends .. not possible ! No matter how much they fight they will keep coming back.. cuz it’s real close connection.

[@naomiperlman8995]

I Have a Peaceful Marriage... NOW; But, THIS is NOT.. my FIRST marriage!! WHY is THERE the OPTION given to MEN , and OPPORTUNITY of MEN ABUSING WOMEN ?? * I went through THIS MORE THAN ONCE ! AND BOTH TIMES . .. ACQUIRING the 'GHET' .. WAS EQUALLY DIFFICULT !! **

[@naomiperlman8995]

I am BET / (by an unmentionable SOURCE) that you WON'T ANSWER Why .. the MAN .. only .. was given THIS RIGHT/ ability. to GIVE the. GHET. .? I AM ASSURED THAT YOU WON'T ANSWER ! WON'T YOU, PLEASE !?! NHP

[@wallyreyes9493]

Do women ever take responsibility for anything? When you come before GOD,your going too have to take responsibility for your life choices.

[@wallyreyes9493]

@@naomiperlman8995 this is not GODS way. Moses permitted them too divorce because of the hardness of their hearts. They were commanded too love each other and too serve one another in loving kindness and tenderness. But because of the hardness of their hearts they refuse too abide in loving-kindness and tenderness so Moses permitted them too divorce, but from the beginning it wasn't so.