Christian Woman Blames and Shames Women For Everything...

[@MsRabblerouser]

"The more makeup, the more sex a guy thinks he's going to get" makes sense because as we all know, clowns are the sexiest of them all

[@SmogValley]

this comment needs more likes XD

[@JaiFlame]

I know right ? A sense of humor, flexible, and a willingness to look silly in public? *wolf whistles* (itsa joke lol)

[@BlackEpyon]

Hey there... Why... so... -serious- sexy?

[@Anna-lv2ow]

Comment is golden!!!

[@mariammosashvili4150]

I never look more sexier except when I am wearing a thick layer of special effects make up for a cosplay to resemble a demon from hell

[@SnowySnivy]

The fact that this woman actually victim-blamed a murdered child is both mind-blowing and disgusting

[@justaweirdartist7902]

It really is

[@dgcfgvvgb6555]

Timestamp?

[@SnowySnivy]

@@dgcfgvvgb6555 At about 20:00

[@LustStarrr]

C’mon - victim-blaming is this woman’s constant theme!

[@grayalien48]

Also, she spoke so factually about it, like, sorry did she solve the case??

[@happymama2793]

My 'father' is a christain pastor, so I grew up in the church. I developed breasts in 5th grade and went from a small A to a medium C in early middle school, then D's and DDD's in highschool. Many of the 'good' Christian men, Much older than me by decades, would stare at my breasts and body and try to flirt with me. As long as I can remember I knew older men were watching me while I was at church. Please remember that predators will use any means to get to their victims.

[@marzash]

Welp, that makes me wanna punch someone 😅

[@wells346]

jesus christ! im so sorry!

[@slytherinsagittarius2580]

I have a DD chest and I've caught men and women staring at them at church before. It's crazy lol

[@MrsScorpionette]

Yeah... Because obviously its a CHOICE and a provocation to have big breasts 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@happymama2793]

@@slytherinsagittarius2580 when I was in 7th grade a man who I actually looked up to was gawking at my breasts when I was trying to talk to him. I never spoke with him again, unless forced (church shit). He was in his late 50's early 60's. I was 13 or 14. There's no reason to stare. It's so uncomfortable and makes you feel like just an object. Among many other things I can't put into words right now.

[@avionpiscean33]

I'm a dancer, and I use makeup to make myself more visible on stage.

[@avionpiscean33]

And when I did musicals I did a lot of character makeup. I also cosplay/larp a lot. So yeah, makeup is far from some arbitrary dichotomy.

[@arielsmith5157]

I do theatre and dancing and yes! Your face would just be a moving blob on stage if you didn't wear make-up. These people are honestly so stupid

[@JaiFlame]

avionpiscean33 I have expressions when I dance. I would appreciate if the audience could see it lol. I’m not smirking, smiling, flashing my eyes, winking, etc. for nothing!

[@jennacampbell7759]

Same here

[@artisti.o3744]

I fully thought you meant an exotic dancEr- oops

[@Rudolph386]

Normalize men being beautiful! Normalize bodies not being inherently sexual!

[@WrenBird449]

It genuinely breaks my heart to see these people reduce men to nothing but beasts and women to nothing but meat. Do they not realize that they're perpetuating this dynamic? It's projected on men and women and they accept it after it's been driven in so many times.

[@aralornwolf3140]

Then people ask "what toxic masculinity?" She's even saying it's the girl's job to control the thoughts of those around her... which leads to victim blaming (what were you wearing?). Women in Hijabs have been raped... so clothing doesn't make a difference at all. That's just so wrong, I can understand why Rachael Dislikes(?) that woman. *Sigh* If an adult is uncomfortable around children, they should remove themselves from the situation... Seek professional help even if they are bothered by them to the point they have problems in the social or work life. It's actually proven that as people age, their interest in partners change as their interest in partners age with them. If their interest in partners isn't aging wit them, then their is a problem with them and should see a therapist to find out why. Not having an interest in same age peers but an interest in ones younger or much younger than oneself is abnormal and needs to be investigated. It's damaging to psychology on the person. _Acting_ on those interests is, potentially, damaging to everyone involved.

[@ZephLodwick]

I'm a guy, and I find this idea very offensive. Even if I think a woman is pretty, how I react to that says more about me than it does about her.

[@KellendirsCorner]

Though to be fair, "Beasts and Meat" would totally be a band name...

[@brookepage3752]

As someone who dresses modestly, I don’t deserve any more respect than someone who shows their skin.

[@deganali4739]

Same

[@livemoller792]

my ultimate fashion goal is to look like the middleground of a grandpa wearing a vest with emroidered cat imagery, and a woodland fairy.

[@sambailie4773]

Well said Brooke xxx

[@emma-di5ly]

@@livemoller792 That is such a vibe

[@d.lan3y]

Same. I dress modestly because I easily get both a) dysphoric and b) cold. The fact that this woman sees that as a measure of my woth as a human is absurd and gross.

[@vitalspark6288]

IS YOUR CLOSET TOO HOT?!?! Try moving it away from the radiator.

[@livemoller792]

question of the day: are your clothes curently a fire hazard?

[@noodle_water]

Yeah but I'm scared to come out😳

[@johannapipoli8397]

People are more respectful of dogs consent because they will growl and bite if you don’t, so we need to start growling and snapping at men when they touch us without consent

[@mxxx9561]

We need to start barking at men

[@Sableagle]

Be a badger. Badgers take no shit. Bowels, possibly, but not shit.

[@firetarrasque4667]

@@Sableagle Badger is maybe a bit far, I'm not sure you wanna be fighting with bees

[@essiekat8532]

That might definitely work, most women just silently suffer when men shout horrible things or touch them without consent. They feel ashamed and don't know what to do about it. I wonder if there is some easy, effective and safe way to "bark" at these kinds of men to shut them up?

[@wickednwyld]

@@essiekat8532 - You usually don't have to *say* anything to touchers. Unless the person in question is truly being aggressive, pointedly look at their hand like it is covered in fly larvae, then look them directly in the face with the same expression. If they don't get it (most do, at that point), grab their hand between your thumb and index finger, like you would a dead mouse, and remove it from you. I'm also not averse to 'accidentally' throwing a shoulder or elbow into someone crowding me from behind, but that's me.

[@andyhemsley7509]

Everything in this book was terrible but my jaw dropped when the author victim-blamed JonBenet! Incredibly disrespectful & disgusting.

[@camillad.9003]

she dID WHAT NOW

[@tamamonomae5416]

She shamed a child!? What is wrong with this woman?! JonBenet clearly did not ask to be harmed!!!

[@mevavideos5922]

@@tamamonomae5416 I doubt she was even putting that makeup on herself (not that wearing makeup matters, but she seems to think it does.) It seems like the parents were in charge of everything including putting her in pageants. So I don’t understand what the problem is with these types Christians and never assigning the blame to who they should assign it to, and just blaming the victims.

[@georgem2334]

Victim Blaming is pure garbage. It's saying grown men can't control themselves, and it's up to women to cover up. I've been in nudist resorts and that's never an issue for men and women to be naked with each other, and women are perfectly safe, and men don't make women feel uncomfortable. Sexual harassment is a non issue there probably because most men know how to behave themselves. I have developed great friendships with women there, and treat them as feeling human beings, and not just body parts to stare at.

[@emily3]

Interesting point about the nudist resorts! I had once been to a clothing optional beach, and I noticed that it seemed to have security/police watching over to make sure no one is doing anything to someone they shouldn’t be. The only thing I noticed police getting involved in was a couple doing it (sorry I know KZbin flags comments with that word sometimes lol) in front of everyone lol. Other than that everyone kept to themselves and seemed to let it all hang! No one took that as an opportunity to start touching a stranger. That’s what it should be like! Anyway, just sharing my own tiny glimpse of experience with that as well lol.

[@ashlieryder8211]

I was in my local shadow cast of Rocky Horror Picture Show when something similar came up. My grandma was worried sick about how my cast mates would respond to how I dressed before and after the show (ex. Wore short bottoms or lower tops). Such was because she grew up in a small town where they were felt reputation was based on how you dressed (she especially learned such through her grandfather the city marshal). My cast mates never bothered me and even praised me for wearing things I was comfortable with wearing despite the pressures of people like my grandma. One of the things I kept saying to my grandma is that they would not be allowed in the play if they didn’t know how to keep their hands to themselves. All I can say that I not only enjoyed my time as a Transylvanian but also made friends with many kind, nonjudgmental people.

[@ddjsoyenby]

yeah i'm able to be around "scantily dressed" women, and i've never had an issue the worst i did was take a quick look.

[@grosebud4721]

THATS so encouraging to hear! I’m really glad you have plenty of experience that directly contradicts the crap these purity books spread.

[@zamith1817]

👏👏👏

[@6kimiko6]

The idea of more make up being an invitation to sex is so baffling to me. Like, when I put an hour of work into a full face ruining it by letting someone touch my face or kissing or sweating is the last thing I want to do 😅

[@sciencefantastic]

So by that logic when my therapist wears makeup, then when I notice it and comment on it then that means I want to bang her. Like what? The assumption that ALL men are like that is bizarre.

[@ardenalexa94]

I’m just convinced this “christian” was raised by someone mentally stuck in the 1800s…

[@kpoptosis3667]

This is exactly the problem with Purity Culture. The idea that having sexual thoughts are inherently bad. They aren’t. We are human, sometimes sex will pop into our mind, its a base instinct for a lot of people. But just because you have a sexual thought doesn’t mean your dirty. If you see a pretty person and think they are sexy that’s fine. What matters is how you react to those thoughts. It’s seriously ok to think “damn they are sexy” and be on your way.

[@FiveFoxesInATrenchcoat]

Seriously, that kind of mindset screwed me up for *years.*

[@izzybop24601]

When I was a teenager who read books like this, I remember being told that matching underwear was not good because matching underwear tells men that we WANT to be seen naked. Apparently, feeling sexy and cute for yourself is a green light for other people to manhandle you. It’s really damaging. It damaged me a lot and I am only recently coming to terms that I am a survivor and not some demon who made men do it.

[@nachtegaelw5389]

Wha??? I’ve never heard that one !

[@helenakri7282]

How the f would even a man know your underwear matches,jfc, unless you're showing it to him on purpose or he's already being a creep peeking into a changing room. And even then WHY would it translate into wanting to take the matching set off more than a mismatched one? Jfc, this is so utterly stupid.

[@Amira_Phoenix]

Underwear is underneath, it can't be the reason

[@hannahm8681]

Ah yes, have faith in the God who “made you this way” but then gets angry and offended when you start to embrace and enjoy the gifts he gave you. Doesn’t sound abusive at all.

[@firetarrasque4667]

Reminder that Christ told us explicitly to enjoy who we are and not to hide it. Jesus says LGBTQ+ pride, and if you think otherwise you're fucking stupid. On another note, can we talk about how weird that argument is in general? "God made you this way, and God does not make mistakes." Aight, if God made me this way, than God made me gay, and I shouldn't try and repress it. If God made me this way, than God made me trans, and I should embrace is as who I am. The fuck is up with that logic?

[@nami-rt1jp]

I'm Christian, and I love people no matter the sexual orientation, gender identity and expression they have. I don't get these kinds of Christian who are preaching about 'righteousness' while spewing hate? Such hypocrisy.

[@ZephLodwick]

Since when have the religious needed logic to justify their actions?

[@mevavideos5922]

@@firetarrasque4667 because their goal is to control. Abusive logic is inherently illogical.

[@autisticsapphic8991]

Victim blaming makes no sense. I’m attracted to women, but never would I make a girl uncomfortable because of it. I couldn’t imagine ever cat calling or harassing a girl, and am perfectly capable of controlling myself. It’s really not that difficult to respect people.

[@ddjsoyenby]

yeah i'm bi or pan and i don't catcall random attractive people we have self control.

[@brokebitch757]

It's because catcalls and harassment have nothing to do with attraction,but with power.Men (it's most often men who do this) want to feel like they have power over a girl/woman so they invade her personal space ,because treating her like a person would mean there's no power structure where they are dominant over her.

[@lenastorm6280]

@@brokebitch757 Exactly! Just like rape has NOTHING to do with lust or sex! It’s just abut power and control! So it can NEVER be the victims fault, no matter what she/he was wearing or doing!

[@peachtea7269]

Thank you, random citizen

[@christopherreichle6670]

Idk man respecting people is very difficult; humans are just the most vile, disgusting things and if there is a God, and it created us it's just the most sick, twisted bastard I could imagine.

[@FinntasticMrFox]

All of this woman's reasoning is horribly unsettling, but the pastor remark in particular stands out to me. It explains why so many of those monsters who exploit the children in their congregations get away with it; even the childrens' own guardians are apparently ready to blame predatory behaviour on the kids being victimized and not the adults preying on them. I'm not religious, myself, but based on what I've heard about Jesus, I don't think he'd be cool with this.

[@simpleambitious]

I was seriously so disgusted when this woman had the audacity to tell young teenagers that they shouldn’t show even the top of their cleavage because a pastor won’t be able to focus on God during church. Like… really? That’s such a disgusting thing to say on so many levels.

[@catlover2223]

As someone who is religious, you are completely right. In fact, Jesus spent most of his time on earth going after the religious elite who used their position to abuse those under them.

[@vidyasreeram2587]

@@catlover2223 yeah Jesus sounds cool.

[@JuliaRaven]

the hypersexual society she paints is so scary and depressing. imagine convincing a little girl to overthink the sexuality of everyone around her as if she’s some awful curse or something

[@nachtegaelw5389]

I was talking with a guy who is against breastfeeding in public because it would distract his thoughts impurely. I pointed out that nothing about breastfeeding is sexual, & he agreed. I pointed out that I’m a woman attracted to women, but since feeding a baby isn’t about sex I choose not to stare at a mother who is breast feeding & actively sexualize that. But he insisted that media & advertising has over-sexualized breasts to an extent where it’s impossible to see a breast & not start fantasizing uncontrollably. It’s the media’s fault of course. Not a personal choice, & nothing he can do anything about, so women shouldn’t have the right to breastfeed in public until we can “fix” objectification of women’s bodies in the media. 🤦‍♀️ I told him I’m super glad he’s not a nurse or doctor. Because I’ve had male healthcare workers who were capable of seeing and touching my breasts in a incredibly professional manner, thank goodness.

[@regs3941]

The whole time, I was just thinking: well, if that are the good men of God, I'm incredible grateful, that I left the Church so early in my adult life xD she's not making Christians look good at all.

[@brokebitch757]

Here's the thing:you either respect someone regardless of the clothes that they're wearing or you don't respect them at all.I grew up among Karens like these telling every girl they are deserving of respect based only on the clothes they are wearing,I'm glad I didn't fall for that.

[@francescoghizzo]

As a man, I find the idea of men being these animals who can't control themselves in the presence of a woman highly offensive

[@charlimartin8709]

So, my fiancé is non-binary, and they use some makeup to make their face look more androgynous because that look makes them feel more at home in their body. Nikkie tutorials created a whole video about tips for feminizing the face! Makeup is so useful for trans people! Not that Hayley cares lol

[@ddjsoyenby]

yeah i'm gender questioning (leaning towards genderfluid), and i'm looking to start using makeup and femme clothes.

[@AM-hr5mw]

The sad thing is that the author probably didn't even think of that since she probably doesnt believe trans people exist at all

[@wickednwyld]

@@AM-hr5mw- You beat me to it.

[@annaalessandrini9965]

derek diana johnson YES honey!❤️❤️ hope you’re doing well

[@madisonqueen7742]

the first time i was catcalled was when i was a minor. i couldn’t even drive yet. a man at a theme park made a comment about my figure, and when i turned around the other person with him said “dude, shes the same age as your daughter.” and let me tell you - it wasn’t my outfit. i was literally 15.

[@ddjsoyenby]

sorry you had to deal with a cr33p at least someone else called him out.

[@uhuh936]

@Rach don’t catcall ANYONE anytime anywhere, but I guess we have to start with the bare minimum for these men 😔

[@sleepdeprivation8390]

It’s disgusting to hear a woman put down other women like that.

[@GloomyFish]

When I was 13 the sex-ed teacher I had literally told us that if a girl dresses in anything skimpy or revealing, especially at a club, then she's sending a message to men that she wants to have sex, and therefore a woman is "asking for it". This teacher was a woman in her 30s in an ALL GIRLS SCHOOL telling a bunch of impressionable 13 and 14 year old girls that it's the woman's fault if she's sexually assaulted. WHAT. THE. HELL. And thanks to her, I believed all that about women wearing revealing clothes for so long and I slut-shamed anyone who dressed like that... yikes.

[@Hannah-uw2yj]

"the Bible never says to esteem ourselves" yes, it does. "Love your neighbor as yourself"= you gotta love yourself.

[@camillefaith2005]

Periodt. 🙏🏽

[@firetarrasque4667]

There is that bit, which is very much true, but there's another bit in Matthew 5 where Christ just outright says “You are the light of the world.A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others.'" Christ does tell us not to be *prideful,* but that's a rather different thing. An example of pride might be, for instance, deciding that you know better and should have the authority to make others love the way you think is best.

[@moodybassist]

it also says you're born into sin and are nothing without christ

[@firetarrasque4667]

I'm going to also mention Isiah 43:4 ("'Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you.'"), Hebrews 10:35 ("Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward."), 2 Timothy 1:7 ("'For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.'"), and the wonderful 1 John 4:19-21 ("'We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.'").

[@ashleighmason4982]

@@firetarrasque4667sorry, but your last beloved quote is a nonsequitor 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@starojunes]

Damn the author really went there with calling all men pedos like wtf.

[@LustStarrr]

She’s continuously calling all men rapists without any self-control - was it really that much of a stretch?

[@ardenalexa94]

Makes you wonder if she’s enabling one herself.

[@princesssheogorath1979]

The funny thing is, what these conservatives always fail to grasp is that even if a girl walked down a lonely street wearing a bra and underwear, stumbling drunk, and making passes at guys on the side of the road, no genuinely decent man is ever going to assault her. Period.

[@diarmuidkuhle8181]

My motto is you can look but not touch unless invited. A woman could bounce down the high street naked on a pogo stick; that doesn't give me a free pass to do ANYTHING

[@authenticrosedoodles9268]

because the guys in their culture aren't decent and they give them a free pass not to be by acting like they cant be expected to control themselves

[@dd42101]

I hate her saying false advertising in this context, women are not a product 😤

[@brighidmcmullen9577]

Me too!! It is clear just by the little bit that Rachel shares that the author truly sees women as objects. Like we are all walking around with a price tag hanging over our heads and our worth is determined by others. It is so terrible!!!

[@bobbiegrind69]

growing up in a christian house, i get shamed for how i dress constantly

[@artisti.o3744]

It's your choice to wear what you want. It's your body, your clothes or lack of clothes and they shouldn't be shaming you for your clothing choices.

[@sandal9024]

This book has “confused lesbian” written all over it

[@ardenalexa94]

Yep, or enabling a predator close to her.

[@heiyuall]

“If you didn’t have money, I wouldn’t have mugged you, so really I’m the victim here.”

[@finnstorck4993]

i started wearing makeup when I was about 13 or 14 years old and I started because everyone around me was wearing it and it felt like a task I had to complete to fit in rather than something fun. I forced myself to get up in the morning earlier to apply makeup for a year or so until I realized that I am not doing it for myself but for others and I slowly stared to wear less and less often makeup until I didn't wear anything anymore. I think I was around 16 then. and without all the makeup I actually stared to grow more confident in myself and came to a point where I actually felt pretty looking at my face in the mirror for probably the first time in my life. And only then I got to really enjoy makeup. I slowly stared to look at Instagram posts and yt videos about makeup, not just every day but really beautiful complex looks and it really appealed to me so I stared to experiment with makeup again. not for anyone, just alone in my room, just for myself. nowadays I enjoy makeup for the art and I feel confident in wearing makeup, I enjoy the process of applying it but I also enjoy wearing no makeup and I feel confident without it. Some days i go out with a lot of makeup on and some days I go out with none, just based on what I'm feeling that day and not based on anyone else.

[@brighidmcmullen9577]

This is very much the same for me. In high school, I would try to wear makeup but only enjoyed eyeshadow and I hated how I looked when I had to take it off. So I stopped wearing it almost completely. This slowly changed and now I wear a little makeup almost every day and I love it. And the reason I do is because I love the ritual of it and the art and I also no longer feel my self-esteem plummet when I take it off.

[@ninaasf-ck]

"you don't touch a dog without a dog's consent" Oh yes, that seems obvious, but the number of people who've tried to touch my dogs when they are *clearly* not into it and may be ready to bite...

[@janellefrickert6522]

And then they're gonna whine like "your dog is mean" and then they're gonna try to euthanize it when you know, they shouldn't have touched it if it didn't want to.

[@christopherreichle6670]

That's honestly the difference though is dogs actually do something about it and draw some blood to show they ain't fucking around. But everyone and their mother will have a fucking fit if I wanna carry a longsword or an axe and y'all not supporting this kind of shit is part of why I have literal 0 faith in humanity

[@miaomiaochan]

Or, in the case of cats, the number of people who hate cats for supposedly being aloof when the reality is that cats need even more time than dogs do to trust an unfamiliar person.

[@irdiseddere7752]

Ah yes, the sweet sweet religious internalised misogyny

[@firetarrasque4667]

I object to the idea that this is genuine religious belief and not just *really* internalized brainwashing. Ask this woman about what belief in God means, and I'm willing to bet she'll draw a blank. Ask her about someone like Kierkegaard or Tolstóy, who wrote on what it means to be Christian, and you'll get empty stares. Ask her about what God *is* to begin, and at best you'll get some mumble about being unknowable.

[@NotGoodAtNamingThings]

@S Gloval - Are you the same person as S. Gloobal? (If I spelled that correctly.)

[@NotGoodAtNamingThings]

@S Gloval - Lack of belief in any god is not a religion. Some, but not all, people are dogmatic atheists. There you can claim behavior like religious behavior. But just being atheist isn't a religion in the same way that not being a stamp collector isn't a hobby and the total lack of light isn't a color.

[@NotGoodAtNamingThings]

@S Gloval - Lack of belief doesn't mean lack of knowledge.

[@NotGoodAtNamingThings]

@S Gloval - I am unconvinced that any god exists. That makes me an atheist, a-theist meaning without (any) god. I'm also an agnostic in that I don't claim to know that no god exists, I don't claim knowledge. A-gnostic, without knowledge. I think people who claim to know, either way, are mistaken, except that certain gods who are logically inconsistent can be said to not exist. I can't believe this has never been explained to you before. If you want to be technical, I'm an agnostic atheist.

[@rayisweird]

this author doesnt know what asexual people are😂 (ace person here)

[@firetarrasque4667]

Gang

[@d.lan3y]

Or gay men, for that matter. And probably lesbians.

[@evil_death_roll]

Ace gang represent!

[@grosebud4721]

Wooooo! We’re the GOOD ace fam lol

[@skyetan86]

Bruh, this author doesn't even know what normal sexual people are. Their version of "normal people" is sex-crazed perverts.

[@elenamarie8657]

The IRONY is that jesus said that men were responsible if they lusted after someone!

[@leviangel97]

Hi, I'm a guy into women. Sexualized clothes and make up will draw my attention more, but everything past that... yeah no??? Staring is creepy and isn't hard to not do. I can't imagine harassing someone randomly.... and touching??? Like... my girlfriend and I have had very explicit discussions on what's ok with the understanding that even basics like hand holding are revocable...

[@ardenalexa94]

I’m glad you think that way

[@hppeterson2]

As a human named Hailey, I’d like to speak on behalf of us all and say we disown this one

[@jewin-your-mom]

Rachel, before my comment gets swallowed, I just want to say thank you for providing such amazing entertainment, criticism and information pretty much constantly. Your videos are the highlight of my day sometimes, and I’ve rewatched several over and over again! Especially your poetry book/autobiography reviews; it’s always a delight to hear someone talk about something they’re so passionate about! From the bottom of this nonbinary high schooler’s heart: thank you!

[@erica1800]

aside from the sexism, victim-blaming, and generally disgusting writing... i find it so disturbing how she’s kind of propagating this weird self-consciousness in a women that EVERYONE is looking at you and that like everyone finds you attractive...like aside from some men aren’t even attracted to women, even straight men have standards so no, you aren’t going to be attractive to everyone. as mean as it sounds, no Karen, not everyone notices your bra strap sticking out, that’s just you.

[@copperbee1477]

I wear makeup during stage plays. Good of her to 'educate me' on how my angel makeup in a Christian stage play made me appear 'sexual' to all of the men in the audience... 🙄

[@blairwasser7533]

Jesus literally told men to pluck out their eyes and cut off their hands when they had lustful thoughts to prevent them from committing a sin

[@slytherinsagittarius2580]

So, I wear makeup because it makes me feel beautiful and confident. I love wearing all different colors and shades. I also like to play with fx makeup. I don't wear it to get attention from men or women, and I don't wear certain clothes for the same effect. I think this book is seriously sick. Especially the bit about Joan Ramsay. Hailey is a monster.

[@rosebud1659]

I’ve literally been cat called whilst wearing a full, baggy sweat suit... so what then? Probably because i have pink hair or tattoos and piercings then, eh? Cuz that makes me un-respectable too I’m sure.

[@Hippiemetalmama]

I wear makeup because having sparkly eyelids brings me joy.

[@Lucifer-vb8gd]

I hated it so, so much when she talked about self - esteem. It´s so damaging. I was raised christian and this was one of the things they drilled into me, my young, impressionable self. That I should be humble, that pride is a sin, the worst sin. It destroyed me. As a child I didn´t have a lot of self - esteem, so I got bullied, a lot. Didn´t report it until it was too late. I sabotaged myself constantly, thinking I am not good enough, I had toxic people in my life that I thought I can´t get away from, because I didn´t deserve it. I belittled my accomplishments, I couldn´t make deciscions of my own. In my teens it escalated to self - hatred and depression. I lost my faith in christian god, I didn´t have faith in myself or anyone else. It just destroyed a part of my life I´ll never get back. Her message is toxic and will hurt girls, who are in their teens, vulnerable, insecure. I´m so sad that this book is a real thing, holy crap. - edit (due to spelling)

[@bratatouille]

16:06 *Rachel:* then the next section of the book talks about self-esteem - *Me:* oh, that's nice *Rachel:* - and how we don't really need it. *Me:* 👁️👄👁️

[@versosdelabismo9908]

As a teacher, i'm so happy that nowadays sexual education is obligatory in highschool. When i was a teenager i went to a catholic school, and we got this sort of "education". Such a harmful thing to teach young women. Now i try to really get through to my students that victim blaming is a toxic, harmful behaviour. We also talk about toxic/abusive relationships, violence, harrasment, etc)

[@nyx1472]

i love how her dog looks at her when she’s speaking. good girl was taught how to listen

[@katelynnw4023]

So whose gonna tell her that clothes don’t equal consent....

[@emilyhazel]

Here I thought my interest in makeup was due to the artistry and security. My face being a blank canvas, I had the ability to create something unique and exciting. Alongside this I believed it helped me get over my social anxiety, I had control of how I presented myself and could minimize my insecurities. I am so grateful to this author, now I know it was all because I internally wanted to be sexualized by men everywhere... despite being a lesbian :')

[@4dragons632]

Any parent who attempts to make their daughter read this book is a monster. Imagine how soul crushing it would be. The writer of this book is even more of a monster for writing it.

[@an.iron.butterfly]

I"m a t-shirt, jeans and hoodies (or yoga pants, t-shirt, hoodie) kinda gal. Don't wear makeup, firm advocate of sunsccreen, love my "sensible shoes". Somehow I doubt escape being lectured---b/c I and my tattoos are not "feminine" enough, eh?

[@d.lan3y]

I'm literally gender fluid. And I've been harassed while presenting masculine. Take that, MYSOGINISTS.

[@an.iron.butterfly]

@@d.lan3y I"m so sorry that's happened to you! My S.O. has finally started to ID as non-binary, AMAB, and is very skittish about being 'out' to more than their online communities, which have been very supportive.

[@d.lan3y]

@@an.iron.butterfly I'm alright, really, and I'm happy for them!! The process of coming out was pretty natural for me, but I know it's not that way for everyone. It's a freeing thing to even just know who you are though, so I'm glad they've found places to be comfortable.

[@NotGoodAtNamingThings]

I'm non gender conforming since long before there was a term for it. Horribly harassed during grade school by other boys, back in the "boys will be boys" era where no one at all would think of stopping the kind of harassment that leads to complex PTSD. Girls didn't start to harass me until high school, and that was mostly a brief thing only during high school, a little in college. Most women didn't/don't care. Basically, people mostly suck, with men having the edge on being worse about it. Plenty of guys are ok so of course #notall but still. Now I have piercings that keep annoying people away from me.

[@an.iron.butterfly]

@@d.lan3y Thanks! I'm happy for them, too. We've been together for 20 years in a companionable platonic partnership, and it's worked well for both of us, thus far! :)

[@heartsinthebylines]

So excited that I get to look forward to this after my classes are finished, can’t wait to share a giggle with you :)

[@hayden3345]

Who hurt her? clearly she's been hurt by a victim blamer herself.

[@abigailhunt4948]

I wear makeup because I love it, not to sexualize myself, not that it's wrong to do so if you choose to as an adult.

[@d.lan3y]

I don't wear makeup generally because I absolutely hate getting ready for a day, so the fewer steps the better, but I wear it occasionally for events and things like that, and honestly I just really like to feel a little extra pretty. I like to play around with gender expression a lot, and I've actually dealt with mild dysphoria, but a particularly feminine day overlapping with a fancy event is always fun, because makeup is actually a really fun way for me to express my femininity.

[@katiegriggs9825]

Omg, I think I self-indoctrinated with a book like this in my teens... ugh, I'm so glad I finally embraced the skeptic in me and gave up religion a few years ago.

[@farkasabel]

Is there anything which you would defend no matter what? if there is then that is your new religion. Until there is an idea or a thing which you would never betray you are morally slave to it. (as every religion)

[@firetarrasque4667]

@@farkasabel That is a really bad take on what religion is. Religion is not the same thing as morality, don't be a dumbass.

[@farkasabel]

@@firetarrasque4667 it is. Because you do it because you believe it is right and you will do it over and over and over. Like praying.

[@farkasabel]

@@firetarrasque4667 morality is religion itself. Because you associate things or events or acts as right or wrong. There is no such things are right or wrong only something happened or not. Moral value to things are given on the base of belief.

[@farkasabel]

@@firetarrasque4667 what Katie tried to express is she hates institutionalized religion but I never met with a true non-believer.

[@savannahn3013]

How many y’all waiting for this when there’s still 3 hrs to go

[@zamith1817]

About the cat calling. I'm a trans man, but back when I was still identifying as a woman I used to get cat called almost daily from age 12 (yes 12!) to 18 in my small town. When I hit 18 I moved to the capital and was never cat called again in that way. From experience, people in small towns are just not called out and suffer no consequences thus perpetuating this behaviour.

[@gabrielamarcus]

It seems that christian men don't know the meaning of "Look but don't touch"

[@alwayschasingjesus3452]

Way to make a massive generalization based off of someones poor writing skills. In my experience, Christian men know what it means to “look but not touch” a lot better than secular men do.

[@gabrielamarcus]

Firstly: English is not my native language. So excuuuuuuuuse me for not having the best english writing skills Secondly: I was not making a generalization, you genius!! I was referring to the way this book author assume men (in this case christian men) thinks. As I understand, she believes all men (including christian ones) think that if a woman dress in a certain way it is "an invitation" and feel entitled to violate you boundaries. And before you make an assumption about how I dress: No, I don't like to dress in skimpy clothes, overly short skirts or tight jeans (that's uncomfortable). I prefer a big t-shirt and sweatpants.... And Believe it or not... I've been cat called while wearing such clothing. And Excuse me for my poor writing skills, as I told you before, Im not a native english speaker/writer.

[@alwayschasingjesus3452]

@@gabrielamarcus I wasn’t talking about your poor writing skills. Your writing skills are just fine. I was talking about the authors poor writing skills. I also wouldn’t have made an assumption about how you dress. But, it was an assumption to think that I would. Personally, I get cat called much more frequently if I’m dressed in a provocative manner (which I choose not to do anymore). The tone of your comment was easily misinterpreted. Sorry if I offended you.

[@gabrielamarcus]

@@alwayschasingjesus3452 Sorry, I was being defensive and misinterpreted you!!

[@creatureoftheeast3331]

My male co-worker hits on me and says sexual things to me and other girls even though most are married. The other girls and I have never shown cleavage, never worn shorts shorter than finger's length, never worn leggings, and never encouraged him. This woman probably also would blame me for being catcalled at 13 by five middle-aged men even though I was just walking my dog in normal middle school clothing. Disgusting

[@erikdaniels0n]

Oh god, not this mess of a book again

[@JulianGreystoke]

Wow so victim blame-y! Yikes. At least there are cute doggos!

[@deadaccount2212]

i've gotten catcalled when wearing a hoodie and jeans. It isn't about what the person is wearing at all.

[@firetarrasque4667]

"God's word never tells us that we should esteem ourselves." It's me, your local Tolstóyan, here to tell you that, yes, God's word literally goes tell us that. In fact, the direct words of Christ tell us that. “'You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deed and glorify your Father in heaven.'" From Matthew 5:14-16.

[@alwayschasingjesus3452]

You have taken this verse entirely out of context. The context being that we are supposed to shine our light as Christians. Our goodness, and love. The Bible talks repeatedly about modesty and not adorning oneself. I do not agree with this book, or the way the author articulated her thoughts in the slightest. But it’s mildly frustrating to see Bible verses taken completely out of context in order to support some individuals desires or beliefs separate from the Word.

[@wingedtessarae2142]

Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could review Dannah Gresh's The Secret Keeper? It is short, and I read it as a younger teen. I think she was attempting to have a more balanced approach to modesty, but looking back on the book, I do not think she accomplished it. (Probably bc modesty doctrine cannot be balanced due to its nature; attempts to not be legalistic and get to the heart of religiously-influenced modesty, as Gresh tried, will still end up with rules as the main end.) As it is nowhere near as toxic as BGR or Lori Alexander, I would be very interested in your take on it.

[@Sableagle]

I feel totally left out here. Here I am seeing young women without headscarves and thinking "Wow, she has lovely hair!" and Hayley is acting like I don't even exist. Also, the incidence on sexual assault in Qom and Riyadh is a very long way from zero.

[@Nervardia]

"Is your wardrobe too hot?" It's basically summer in the Southern Hemisphere. Of course it's too bloody hot.

[@BlindStarLily]

I can’t thank you enough for this video, Rachel. When you talked about being Catcalled, I could really relate. For context, I’m a minor. I was harassed by my bus driver, who only drove me and the other SpEd kids to school. I’d just been getting more confident with my body and wore what I like to think made me look pretty. He talked to me like I was an object for two days straight every time I rode the bus until I stopped dressing nice and stopped being comfortable just to get it to stop. Thankfully, one of my best friends helped me report him and just got me through that, holding me while I cried, making me laugh, telling me stories. It really helped me. In short, I agree wholeheartedly with you about it not being the victim’s fault. It took me a long time to see that and I’m just glad that you talked about it. Thank you.

[@abcdefghi-x9z]

I hate how all the adults in my life tell me I have to dress modestly because “men can’t control themselves”, and when I tell them society should teach self control to men, they completely ignore me and rant about girls not showing bra straps

[@ashleighmason4982]

Geez, It's so weird, when I realise, that those so obvious things, that you're talking about, are not at all obvious to some people. And it's even more weird, when it's not obvious for women 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@SixOfRobins]

I got "Dateable" by this same author for my 13th birthday and nearly ten years later, I still vividly remember the line "if you don't want to be treated like a piece of meat, don't dress like a flesh market" and I have only recently realized how screwed up that is- along with everything else in these "advice" books.

[@Amira_Phoenix]

You could've used this book for some origami project

[@xxdaemochibixx120]

Lipstick gives me confidence even in these mask wearing times where no one but me can see it

[@IzFab]

I would love to see you talk about the book "Every Young Man's Battle" I never read it, but read the female equivalent (every young woman's battle). These are christian books about "stuggling in the world of sexual temptation" I would love to see how they handle these topics with young men! I'm sure it's just as horrifying

[@alixtheprofessionalcatherd6850]

I have a question for the men/boys watching this video. Where you ever taught about sexual consent? When I was younger my mum told me and my sister to avoid certain areas at night and other thing to try avoid rape. Do boys ever gets told that they should not rape? I can't remember much of what we were taught in the very short sex education classes that we had (I do remember a teacher putting a condom on a cricket bat...).

[@somik-i3x]

I was taught about consent at my school. It was a private school who had engage a sexologist. So we had like 3 to 4 class with her every year. So we learn about consent, but I don't know about the public system in my country/province (Canada/Quebec).

[@thymeheath-lovell9283]

I’ve been watching you for the last 8 months, and you’ve made me feel so righteous in my thoughts. I grew up catholic and although my family did believe extreme beliefs, I realized that I wanted to form my own opinions. Your breakdown of catholic rhetoric has made so much sense to me. Much love to Rachel

[@weirdgirl4611]

Never liked a video so quick. Completely agree with you.

[@UlexiteTVStoneLexite]

Oh boy this sounds like fun......not

[@cashwalk7253]

These books came out when I was a teenager, and unfortunately these were messages I absorbed as a girl. Now as an adult I realize how sick it is that this author blamed pedophiliac behavior on minors. I read parts of this book to my dad and he was completely disgusted.

[@BarbarianGod]

Ah darn, missed the premiere!

[@emilyboj]

I'm horrified my parents gave me this book at twelve!!! And I'm so glad you're doing this review.

[@stevenbaumann8692]

The bra strap thing is hilarious! That book scares me. Gee. It’s nice to know she’s such an expert in what I desire 🙄 Hi Kyra!

[@lisapeesalemonsqueezah3241]

Your dog gives some much needed sweet and adorable relief whenever she graces us with her presence. I just adopted a street puppy and your sweet dog is making me desperate for her to arrive from mexico.

[@katrinabrown3561]

I’m a Christian and when you read those passages I remember every line and I read this as a teenager. My mind is reeling and I don’t know what to do now

[@celesteflorio1020]

Growing up forced into very strong religious christianity like this, I was taught these exact things all my life. Growing up it was so hard and how these teachings and mindsets affected me.I wish someone like you was in my life when I was younger bc speaking out about how wrong this is helps so much.

[@cheesi5745]

mmm delicious, religion based misogyny. just in time for my lunch.

[@AD-qq9bk]

I totally feel you about the different cities. I grew up in Athens, and people wouldn't call things to me, but I went to the university of a much smaller city and I was shocked to the stuff I was hearing.

[@KireiC]

Criminy, if I'd read and believed this as a young girl, I'd have been running for a nunnery! This author makes men out to be utterly terrifying.

[@georgia-vz9in]

i know all these things now, but it feels so good to hear them used specifically to refute this book which really fucked up my body image as a teenager, and im still recovering from it nearly 10 years on. and i never really dressed revealing in the first place, but i stopped wearing anything even slightly tight, or any shirts much lower than my collar bones (ended up just wearing mens clothes). but i just didnt want to be looked at like that, and it it had never occurred to me before i was given this book that i might be. and reading it back now, i understand how stupid and unacceptable it is, and im so grateful that ive come so far, thank you so much for this

[@anyasea10739]

Dude I got asked out by a complete stranger the other night and I was absolutely terrified. I was wearing no makeup, a hoodie and some short leggings(that literally only showed my shins). What the hell did this woman want me to wear??

[@dahliacheung6020]

Is victim blaming is disgusting. Seriously this is SO, SO BAD that I want to vomit. No one, no matter how they're dressed, is advertising themselves as a piece of meat. A human being is only ever advertising themselves as a HUMAN BEING and no matter what they're wearing, if someone else treats them as anything else, anything less, THAT person is at fault for mistreating another person. The fact that this is a woman writing this book that habitually compares women, specifically young women, and their bodies, to inanimate objects and then blames them for any objectification or harassment they experience is evidence of just how much purity culture within Christianity harms the very people it's says that it's protecting.

[@unconditionalprong]

Sex is a privilege and not a right. Agreed! For those that think being horny is just like being hungry, think about it this way. You can be an asexual person, but you can't be an afood person.

[@wdwgirl9206]

Even if the “For Sale” sign is out on the yard it doesn’t mean that you can do whatever you want to the house unless you get the owner’s permission.

[@sadrabbit53]

1:32 -ish "and they're all turned on by what they see." _But what about ace men??_ Edit: nvm you mentioned it 3:12 Edit 2: wow this woman writes like she's an incel. Edit 4: 21:43 So the implication is that more makeup = the older men think girls are, and that an example is thick black eyeliner and bright red lips. Ummm... has this woman seen public American middle school? The girls are trying to be more mature by getting into makeup, but they haven't yet the technique to get the look right; as such, they end up with lots of foundation and unintentionally huge eye wings. The fact that this woman thinks makeup is a come-on is fallacious in itself, but it's a compounded fallacy! Edit 5, Conclusion: Hey Hayley! Maybe try focusing your energy on ridiculous Western societal beauty standards that even girls under ten feel the need to emulate. The ones that foster toxic competitiveness and undermine self-esteem. The ones that are so SCANDALOUS, like tight, skimpy clothes that show off shoulders (gasp!), thighs (gasp!!), and cleavage (GASP!!), as well as lots of makeup. But no, instead of being productive about this, you're gonna pin all the responsibility and blame on the girl/woman (and deny her a creative outlet), adding needless layers of guilt and/or shame, as well as fear that she'll constantly be a target around every man ever for baring an ankle.

[@ddjsoyenby]

i wouldn't be shocked if she was tbh.

[@technicolorbipolar6244]

The intro pages had me cringing so hard, it reminds me of the disgusting “purity” assemblies they had at my catholic highschool. Gross.

[@warlordofbritannia]

I always jump into the premiers five minutes late and wind up re-watching the entire video afterwards 😂

[@maxiemaxwell550]

God, I love Rachel. Her takedowns of people like this are hilarious. Never change and never stop.

[@arwynna.4715]

i'm a guy, and I'm ace so maybe my perspective is different, but this book is just completely wrong. believe it or not it is physically possible for men to not be creepy towards people they find attractive.

[@rebekka8296]

I watched this video screaming with disgust. Thank you for debunking this disgusting book, hopefully it will reach some girls that are reading it and it will change their mind maybe even a llittle bit.