Raptor Ranch Review

[@ChaosZero1031]

13:39 the cage actually says "Deinonychus" meaning they knew enough about dinosaurs to know that 6 foot "Velociraptors" are not actually Velociraptors.

[@calebwillis1131]

That's actually surprising considering most low budget movies use generic Jurassic Park ripoff "Velociraptors".

[@abigailtaylor9313]

A.D here for this movie Loved your review! And I Laughed a lot. You brought me down memory lane.

[@hammerofmariotos]

True story: Me and my bud saw this is, allegedly the US Premiere, at a local horror convention, and the director was there afterwards. We were immediately ushered into the realm of the surreal as he said in a thick accent, "Let me tell you what you need to make a great movie-" We looked at each other. Oh No.... Great acting, writing, and of course James Cameron's special effects guy from 'Titanic'. We were both trying so hard not to laugh. Oh no......Is he serious?! We still talk about it with the staff to this day!

[@annabellee8459]

Lol, decker's impression of the goth chick. I loved it 😂

[@zurreal9783]

The large “raptor” looks like the bloody Indominus-rex,

[@zurreal9783]

funny if they used this movie as inspiration for jurassic world

[@dracomaster2513]

It's apparently a T-Rex or a Megalosaurus

[@Saltyaf38]

Acrocanthasaurus. (Terrible spelling)

[@bromodragone8405]

@@Saltyaf38 is that a thing?

[@Saltyaf38]

@@bromodragone8405 yes

[@alexandercatz5214]

17:20 anyone else notice the cat meow in the background of Decker's commentary.

[@tristanwilliams4180]

must be one of he's cats

[@andrewphillips8341]

16.23 the cat wanted to supervisee

[@timhuber2814]

Crazy, I had no idea people owned cats

[@thundercliff93]

Looks like an Asylum flick honestly

[@animetrooper1013]

Thorsteinn Gislason agrees

[@danielsiman3776]

I absolutely love Deckers humor especially at 19:46 😂😂😂

[@KetsaKunta]

The house that the big dinosaur breaks through the roof was my old house in McKinney Texas. The scene where Abby wakes up is my mom and dad's bedroom. The dinosaur was really cool and I was surprised how much it resembled the ones from Jurassic park.

[@Phantomz148]

There was a lingering need for more Decker reviews, then bam another drops like magic. Deck Shado is Illuminati. Confirmed.

[@romariosuperville8889]

Hey Decker, when you said “trans-dimensional dwarves that get there brains implanted into silver balls,” was that a nod to Phantasm?

[@brianmartin6486]

Dinosaurs with chainsaw hands ? Lol , don't give them any ideas.

[@timhuber2814]

I had no idea that dinosaurs just sounded like lions roaring with the pitch turned a little lower. Fascinating!

[@missmothman]

I love these videos so much binge watching all of them is a joy

[@Thomas-VA]

Yeah, my car had issues with heat, I could drive it around for awhile and if I turned it off, it wouldn't turn over again until some time to cool. It never smoked or cut out while driving, so I can see how some underlying engine issue could have her truck work later without mechanical help.

[@Its_just_cosmetic]

Decker review whatever you want

[@ДмитрийГусарев-ж8ъ]

And this is why we fucking love him is it not?

[@davidlionheart2438]

When the most terrifying thing about your movie is that Lorenzo Lame-ass is the best actor in it.

[@Vegeta8300]

I remember suggesting this to you ages ago. I ran across it while staying home sick from work, and actually enjoyed it. In a so bad it's good sort of way. Great work as ALWAYS Decker! :)

[@alienonlsd3209]

I know this will probably just be overlooked entirely as just one in a sea of comments of people requesting you were view something but I have to admit I would like you to possibly do with some point the summer of HP Lovecraft

[@unknownflickz1289]

I would like to see that

[@killerkid2028]

Most respectful comment on KZbin

[@Antonio_Martinez]

11:01 Don’t give The Asylum any ideas.

[@zigfaust]

"You don't need story or character development when you have dinosaurs!" sounds like how ARK went until last year.

[@giganthegojira]

11:04 not sure if that's a gigan reference but hell I still like it

[@tylerskiss]

Oh lord, the eyeliner budget on this film must have been through the roof!!

[@dannysvetlick3062]

that Phantasm reference though lol

[@cartooncritique6625]

19:10 Well, at least she's giggling in Hell now. ^^

[@philiptonymcgrawjrthephilm1570]

10:59 There's A Velociraptor In The Dark

[@debirujira8499]

You should review Dinocroc and Supergator and Dinocroc vs Supergator

[@DSMadara]

This is technically in the Carnosaur films. It has the Green Vision!

[@JS11thor]

You ever heard of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters? I would honestly love to see you review that lol

[@mgrzx3367]

Jana Mashonee boils water just by looking at it. She's amazing to look at. Makes this movie watchable. Thank You Decker, another gem. Merry Xmas happy new year. ( those arguments over commercialism can be done later, enjoy the season and please continue what You do, I am entertained ). Thank You for all You do for Your raving fans.

[@nickdirienzo2849]

Ram Ranch needs to be synched to this movie!🤣

[@VelociraptorsOfSkyrim]

Those.... Those aren't Velociraptors..... *Eyetwitch* Those are Tyrannosaurs, Megalosaurs, and basically every other type of predatory dinosaur.

[@HighKnight]

Velociraptors of Skyrim Thought we have seen this before?

[@VelociraptorsOfSkyrim]

Filipino Chef Apprentice Maybe. Still terrible.

[@kfp195sky5]

Did someone mention Velocidrome.

[@dracomaster2513]

TerreneSky57 Sky Monster Hunter?

[@dracomaster2513]

TerreneSky57 Sky do you have MHWorld?

[@TheBlackKnight1o1]

I love how chainsaw hands are in movies so much that Decker has a recurring joke.

[@Kaijusaurs]

Sweet Dinocember March. Best Birthday month over.

[@jonbaird8835]

I recommend *Dagon* directed by Stuart Gordon and staring Ezra Godden. If you review it, I will mail you my Stuart Gordon trading card (yes it exists) and a trade paper collector's comic novel of the full Marvel Comics Infinity Gauntlet arc. Honest

[@thejoe_snotbombsskateboarding]

YES YES YES!!! New Review Video! I've never seen this one, but I'm still STOKED to watch your review! You crack me up! Freakin"'' hilarious brotha 👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@rhodesauceplan4346]

Your cat is so cute! I love how it’s just laying in your arms as you properly complain about this bad film

[@jonmurphy4889]

At least those FBI agents are riding in style an Escalade with 22s LOL

[@jonmurphy4889]

Decker... Caged Bobcat!!! Mountain Lions don't fit in 2x3ft cages LOL

[@wesleywlee]

They do if you fold 'em right. Don't move much after though.

[@andrewotaku1679]

The one positive thing I will say about this movie is that the filmmakers labeled the raptors "Deinonychus" and used a species like Megalosaurus.

[@patrickpatton6216]

Just Started watching you about a month ago and I must say I love your videos.. You're head slap makes me laugh every time..

[@wateronmars-bz4yc]

It's obvious you're a great person beyond all this. Keep it coming always

[@AlexThe1Menace]

Petition to change the channel name to "The Eternal Summer of Arnold Schwarzenegger".

[@RealKNIGHTS6497]

If you want to see a dinosaur with chainsaw hands its called Gigan from the 2004 Godzilla movie called Godzilla Final Wars

[@arkantos2227]

I found it funny at times, mildly entertaining as it didn't took itself seriously. No idea why Lamas was in this, though, apart from a selling point. I admit I laughed pretty hard at Tittyman's defiance against matriarchy and his brave attempt to show the women who's boss. And at the goth chick bicycling away from the dinosaur before crashing it, in style.

[@Darek_B52]

Dammit Decker I'm loopy as all hell and that Dino-Cember just sent me for a loop.

[@wstine79]

Welcome to Jurassic March.

[@ZenbuParadox]

March of the Dinosaurs? Dino-mite March?

[@frankvenero7137]

Great vid.. Thanks Decker

[@juni1094]

I remember this move as jarassic dark

[@ethanpfeiffer7403]

Dinosaur (2000)?

[@bbbbKeJodddd]

Do you plan on reviewing Hellraiser Judgement?

[@shitmandood]

It just came out recently. The story behind holding the Pinhead/Hellraiser license is very cringeworthy though. And Clive Barker isn't doing much with the material since Scarlet Gospels (which took nearly two decades to finally be released). There was some very tiny book that he released about the same time as this new movie, co-written by someone else. I'm guessing Barker has perma-writer's block at this point, perhaps too distracted by all his money & a nice house in Beverly Hills..lol.

[@TheIdealofGreed]

0:55 I've heard it said that all prayers are answered, people just don't recognize when the answer is no. Apparently the great spirit recognizes this as it sent its reply of "hell no" in the form of a cgi raptor.

[@Sweet18gee]

LMAO Cameo--Long Haired Creepy Guy is Beast. I knew it!

[@shitmandood]

It's very weird that a very bad movie about dinosaurs somehow knew that Creepy needed to be in it.

[@Dinoslay]

+ThatLongHairedCreepyGuy So you......don't love The Doors?

[@FrancisR420]

Raptor ranch might just mean they're Practicing Eagle or owl husbandry

[@MiXVoy]

do a crossover with Brandon Tenold

[@brb-blitz4592]

I second this!

[@sdm47]

You’re a fucking genius

[@seb24789]

Decker and Canadian!Decker working together? Sold.

[@obenrob]

yeah this!

[@betternamepending7483]

im so proud of my damn state. Almost enough to make my cry

[@TheJurnalyst]

The raptor is a magician... It makes that dude a necrophiliac.

[@nickdirienzo2849]

Ram Raptor Ranch!🤣

[@nickdirienzo2849]

I'm drunk...😅

[@TehDangle]

Critters series please

[@arandomelite5448]

This movie is set in Texas, as soon as one of the dinosaurs shows its face its loaded full of bullets.

[@ejedwards988]

It might take a lot of ammunition but it'd die

[@michaelwhitaker5185]

Please review Battleship

[@deathpick2]

wow these are some「Scary Monsters」

[@PersonaAmericana]

Dave Barker, is that a mother fucking Jojo reference?

[@dr.calibrations7984]

Wrrrryyyyyyy

[@insensitivemeister6411]

I smell JoJo!

[@1984Brandon]

Dinosaur Ranches, Texas Chainsaw Massacres, Walker Texas Ranger, and Manos The Hands Of Fate. You sure don't have it simple there, Mister Shado

[@ieatbugs8948]

This is just a non-shit version of Nostalgia Critic, holy hell, subscribed!

[@jfernsten]

Talk about taking one for the team......any movie that illicits a self-inflicted dope slap deserves 2 shots whiskey before viewing!

[@meowcat9636]

1 The gas till morning comment was telling you that the truck was coming by to fill the tanks in the morning. 2 Her truck may have merely over heated and been fine to drive at night.

[@goldengamemaster6133]

I don't think that the characters know how to siphon the gasoline from vehicles.

[@jonmurphy4889]

Marchasaur Madness!!!

[@michaelbreen7865]

Dino-cember ended up being the March of the Dinosaurs.

[@robertsavageau112]

You should review Abominable starring Matt McCoy.

[@alice-14-k6b]

wow, actual practical effects...

[@chrissoto2371]

Fuck could you imagine a raptor charging at you????!!!!!

[@goldengamemaster6133]

I think Beth was mad that her "father" dies.

[@stephenclark8539]

Im from the town this movie was filmed in i was in jr high so it was filmed around 2008 or so but didnt get released until years later when we finally got to see the movie we were all shocked as they had a lot of animatronics all around the town but you hardly see them in the film the coolest thing was when they filmed the bus being flipped over and that was shot duting the day not at night most of the nightime shots you see were edited in post

[@TheDeinonychus]

Medical examiner tells the FBI that the victim was killed by a velociraptor. Sign above the dinosaur's cage clearly reads 'Deinonychus'. I admit it. I had the munchies and there was nothing else.

[@tankbeast8480]

Just subbed he seems like one of the best commentators there is lol

[@UltimateThanos]

"A caged mountain lion or some shit." You've never seen a bobcat before?

[@g4ct]

you can't fool me, you're Al Yankovic from another dimension

[@imnotsuperstitiousbutiamal4186]

8:09-Low, low rent Leo Dicaprio?

[@AquaBounce1010]

[12:39] That there's a bobcat. Or maybe a lynx…

[@XanKreigor]

I guess the "till morning" line means that the next tanker with gas should arrive?

[@zackawesomeness2506]

I hope you reach 100,000 subscribers!

[@michaelm2618]

Who is the Internet personality with the second best hair?

[@CyberSpider35]

"Waste of time. The movie" would be the most appropriate tittle for this film.

[@JURASSTIK]

Is it bad that the goth girl was my favorite. She at least had emotion... maybe a dark emotion, but still emotion.

[@psychologicallyunstable2499]

Awesome review

[@deusvault5732]

I realize that I'm probably wierd but I didn't know little Willie was a real thing. He's was in borderlands 3 and I was super surprised to find him here.

[@autisticwriter5763]

A Raptor movie where the Raptors have Chainsaws for hands. I'm all for it. This script took you 8 minutes? How long does it usually take? Oh no, Decker had a review about reviewing Movie 43. The sheer terror that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. I can't wait for the next review.

[@thundercliff93]

Walking with Dinosaurs 1999 series review would be epic

[@mothmanofaustraliaradio8888]

Thorsteinn Gislason that is my childhood! Omg yes

[@SasukeUchiha-ix2yk]

hell yeah

[@RedRock22Productions]

Would so watch that.

[@oscarcarmona7476]

Gosh darn horses, WAIT A MINUTE.

[@nabuchodonosormcgalapatram6941]

Oh my, a low budget Dinosaur movie with Deinonychus instead of Velociraptor as a species of Dromaeosaurid!

[@doctorsnakeeater1997]

Only in horror movies does singing at a strip club count as a happy ending.

[@BELLA-mf6hb]

I really want to see this now.

[@werollwithnox3765]

Wait is this like a ram ranch spin off

[@eddihurta7173]

Hi people and Decker!! NICE ViDEO!!

[@dambuk0]

RAPTOR RANCH REALLY ROCKS

[@draw2death421]

11:46 So badicly Terror Birds? (Yes A bird called the terror bird did once exist?

[@eagenthorror]

They should make a parody movie called "real velociraptors" where people are being attacked by REAL velociraptors, turkey-sized feathers birds. And throughout the movie they are talking about how underwhelming real velociraptors are compared to in the movies.

[@kevinburdine7452]

was this an Asilum movie feels like it