READING HATE COMMENTS FROM OUR EMOTIONAL CONVERSATION! (Chai Talk Ep11)

[@Broughton1128]

*You should have a family session that includes both of your parents and your siblings. It would be nice to hear everyone’s collective thoughts.*

[@sohankhan9306]

Papa Jee can’t be with Mama Jee in the same room because she’s loud and talkative

[@AvrilHelloKitty]

28:41 This part made me so sad. she dismisses his experiences by saying “get over it it’s in the past” but fails to understand that those past experiences are what builds up over time. Those feelings of anxiety and pressure don’t just vanish, they affect kids and manifest in their behavior once they grow up (through anger issues, easily irritated, resentment, etc)

[@aishac6992]

I get told the same thing. That's why I choose to stay quiet.

[@Sarahbintes]

Omg this is so true and sad.

[@Khadijah-k1f]

She does that all the time when he makes a point that doesn’t go with what he feels is not on her side. Sad to see such behavior. And by the way my parents are “westerners” and they were strict, don’t understand where she thinks no parents are strict about their children only their country. Prejudice much.. 🙄

[@rabianoor5552]

Omg that part was so relatable where Wajeeh said I used to say no to friends and events even before asking you because I knew how you'd react to it. That is so true, and once you go out, you'd rather be going out next year because it's so hard to go out back to back. So damn true. 🤦‍♀️

[@MoizaMoeen]

I totally understand where you’re coming from. The episode with Ahmed clearly shows that Ahmed felt like your mom was using him emotionally to fill the void she has with her husband. He set boundaries which led you to become her obsession. I can see you’re grateful and just want your own space. Keep fighting and inshallah if not us, we know how to do things differently with our own kids.

[@navneetgill5166]

It’s a blessing to have parents who ask you where you are, who care for you.

[@91toinfinity]

Yeah, but if it leads to control then it's not a blessing.

[@Sassybliss404]

Wajeeh is absolutely right about the fact that mama jee has been doing whatever she wants. She moved abroad alone and then got married there what kind of strict parent allow that and now she wants to control her kids in every way possible. She goes out every other day and donot allow this for her children. What’s the use of becoming a lawyer or earning good when you cannot even breath according to your own choice. Believe me if this continues even after your marriage no girl is going to bear this until and unless she comes from the same family mindset!

[@NA-le9sn]

I’m 25 and Wajeeh I completely understand your points to an extent. However, the second I got married I realised how much I miss my parents house and their rules and started to appreciate their overprotective ness. The whole thing about telling your parents where you are is so important because if u don’t have that habit with your parents , how will you have that habit with your wife. Don’t you think your wife should know exactly where you are etc out of respect. I understand the questioning and trying to convince you not to go is the annoying part, but it’s your responsibility to check in with your mum when you’re out. Send a thumbs up emoji to make her know you’re okay and safe wherever u are. There’s a middle ground here and I feel like you both are missing it.

[@gratefully_]

This 100!!! I don’t think many realize this when wanting “independence .” Because it doesn’t actually flow into creating a new family. There’s always a balance . I think it’s just pent up frustration but the only way to work thro this is through self love and live in the future .

[@NA-le9sn]

@@gratefully_yes completely agreed

[@gratefully_]

@@NA-le9sn sorry I meant live in the now *** not future

[@SarahFAhmed]

I love how mama jee explained the whole eastern and western household point.... definitely made a lot of sense

[@Sarahbintes]

Now I understand why Ahmed stays away. It's crazy that your mom just can't change the way she thinks. I can totally relate cause my parents are exactly the same. I was so tired of it that I left Bangladesh and moved to the UK with the excuse of higher studies. Here the life is not easy because I have to manage everything on my own, but I am HAPPY. I found myself. I understood what I wanted in life. Back home, I was so frustrated!

[@misbahailia3345]

Its amazing how other people deal with the same struggles as us.

[@aishj100]

I believe it’s not care, it’s control. My dad treats my mum the same way. So not every parents comes from a “caring and good” place.

[@rxdoc123]

i think in last video, Wajeeh, not necessarily jealous but rather recognized the life that Ahmed is living. Thats why he said that even though he isn't the oldest, he bought the house, he is taking on all the responsibilities, so he feels he needs a bit of his own space. Mama Jee and his relationship is "real" and kudos for them to be true to the viewers because Im sure a lot of people can resonate and feel helped.

[@KhanFQx]

Alhamdulila for the smiles on both your faces :). the problem with desi households is 1. too many taaney from parents and older siblings 2. bully and thug culture 3. miscommunication, misunderstandings 4. lack of showing of love also 5. elders and parents have the need to control everything - even poop. LOL all this gets build up since childhood, and in todays era, either kids runaway from desi households, or this is the only way to therapy with parents, fight, talk, take steam out in a podcast. lots of love!!

[@lecahier]

Desi parents love to divert to inappropriate jokes once they feel called out. She put her finger in her mouth while he’s talking about his struggle. She tells him to find her a new husband. She takes no accountability for her role in her failing relationship with her current husband. Wajeeh literally told her to follow her own advices. However it’s impossible for her to do that.

[@DrMacca]

100% It's incredibly disrespectful - a combination of emotional immaturity and lack of insight.

[@astoldbyanam]

mama jee dont feel like youre the only one thats had talks like this w their kids. even my own family has such talks. this is normal. thank u for sharing with us ❤

[@STAHRSZ]

Wajeeh the root of all your struggles stem from your fathers absence in your mothers life. You need to have more talks with your father than your mother, realistically, what your mum is wanting are things her husband should be providing, etc., spending quality time, reliance, running errands together, having dates, going on trips etc., she is looking for things her husband isn’t delivering that she needs perhaps. It’s not your mothers fault for the way she is honestly. Have another episode with papa jee and tell him this.

[@suzankirsten4332]

Wajeed!!! You don't need to apologise! We're allowed to have feelings and opinions! You're feelings are valid ♡

[@salmaa.1361]

I am sorry Mama Jee but saying your child can't make his own decisions because he lacks experience compared to you is unfair. In the same way, people with less experience should not be allowed to suggested ideas and lead projects at work because they lack experience compared to their older colleagues...that does not work anymore. Younger generations bring up their own perspective and both should meet halfway. Going back to Wajeeh, he will have his own experience even if it will always be shorter than yours and you will never have his experience either because of the context and the different paths you've gone through. Coming from an Arab and Muslim family myself I have had and still having the same conversations with my parents about trusting that your kid has grown and realizing you have to let them make their own decisions even if they are wrong because that it is how they will learn. And just to be clear I mean when your kid is now a young adult that can stand on his feet

[@JayB31590]

I found the points you (Wajeeh) made in the previous video very relatable, and can potentially apply across cultures. As an African American, I can say that I experience the same feelings such as pressures to be successful and pressures to make your parents happy. I would say I may enjoy a bit more freedom as I moved out pretty early in my life, but that doesn’t diminish the pressure at all. My mom and dad (mostly my mom) did the same as Mama Jee and planted seeds for career paths and definitions of success (what it looks like). My mom planted the seed of becoming a lawyer (which I’m on the path towards), but similar to your older brother I halted that process because I had to really determine if I truly want to seek this as a career path. Also, as the middle child, I’m put in a place where I’m the role model because the oldest and youngest elected to be the rebels. Truthfully, I found this conversation, and the previous one, to be very inspiring. Hopefully, I can have this conversation with my mother. I’ve avoided the conversation for so long because of the perception that it would be considered disrespectful. One day! Also, I found it interesting that Mama Jee said she loved you more than your older brother (in the exact same place myself; separation anxiety 😂).

[@fkhan8907]

Wajee don’t get offended ur tone was a bit harsh in that video I think you just need to make funny content or keep pranking mama jee😂😂😂😂

[@mishaalzk6033]

excuse me? he is allowed to have a candid convo.. and not same content

[@coolazozcool9246]

⁠@@mishaalzk6033it doesn’t matter, if your mother does the most basic things for you that is more than the entire world. No one literally no one has the right to raise their voice towards their mothers. Not even a single vein in your neck should be popping up when talking to your mother even if it is a candid conversation.

[@mishaalzk6033]

@@coolazozcool9246 Yeah ok aunty.. he wasnt rude or batameez he was letting his emotions out.. this is why brown kids suffer mentaly because of ur point of view.. that we cant speak up... he wasnt rude or mean he was talking abt how he has been feeling. Calm urself down

[@vaibhavigowda7713]

Mama jee, waji doesn’t come from a bad place. He’s just trying to explain the balance in any form of relationship. He respects and loves you a lot. I really hope you understand where he comes from.😭

[@sara_j_noor]

Mama jee needs to find a way to fix her relationship with papa jee. It’s sad if he doesn’t give her time- at the end of the day when all three children get married and have kids and busy with their in-laws as well as their own parents- mama jee and papa jee will have each other 24/7 and need to support each other. But having said that it would make life easy if wajeeh just informs mum of his whereabouts- that’s not the end of the world.

[@evilangels61]

All Mama Gee has to do is mind her own business and let him live his life like his older brother does..That is why the older brother is not around...Mama Gee needs to just know her place in his life...She has a husband but she treats her son like he is her husband and expects things out of him her husband should be doing...Mama Gee doesn't listen to her sons she just talks over them she doesn't care what they are saying...

[@Khadijah-k1f]

I have a mother in law exactly like her and let me tell you it is so hard , in so many levels. It’s so unfortunate but it just gets worse after he gets married.

[@evilangels61]

@@Khadijah-k1f I always feel bad for Wajeeh he tries really hard to keep the respect to his mother but yet she always thinks she is right and never really listens to him..talks over him. He should do like the older brother and move away the only way he is going to get some peace..She thinks she owns her children..it is sad for them

[@zehraghatala1754]

A mom of two (5 & 10 two boys) you won't understand because you will never be a mother. We will be forever worried about our kids until the day we take our last breath. It has nothing to do where you come from. I didn't understand it back then but i do now.

[@tinkerbell6240]

With all due respect, Mamajee needs a hobby. I tell my mom the same thing too. Whenever me and my siblings aren't home, she just lays around and watches TV and texts us that she misses us. It is such a blessing to have such caring parents and at the same time we need them to enjoy their lives as we enjoy ours as adult children. Mamajee needs encouragement to find a hobby or more social support in addition to kids. It's not one or all, it is an integration of everything.

[@mtiw5565]

I totally totally relate with Mama gee, raising my boys here in the western world. O my gosh! Too much pressure. The pressure from Eastern style and the everyday struggle with present day life. I love her honesty and Wajeeh you should live your life but always b respectful, I tell the same to my 14 year old and get the eye rolls.

[@viralagressiveslime7852]

Appreciate you for being respectful to Mamaji in this episode #Teammamaji

[@hass6949]

Salam bro, absolute legend to have these convos with ur mum and post it. Let me tell you one thing these experiences you have been through are absolute normal and most desi kids go through this. For you to upload this sort of content makes me proud of you. Ur parents are lovely and just ensure you always keep them happy but at the same time have ur own journey of life. It’s the balance u need to strike. One day IA when u have kids u will realise that 50% of ur complaints now will all make sense and then u will be having these convos with ur kids.

[@Sheda-kx7ec]

This made me realize I should listen to my mom seeing how stressed it makes your mom. I’m married and almost 30 myself but whenever I visit my mom, she’ll make comments about not driving late at night etc alone and it annoys me having to explain. BUT now I realized I need to relax with being annoyed lol. I can explain without being annoyed or just chill bc it’s not a big deal if they care. Not the end of the world. We shouldn’t get annoyed of letting them know our whereabouts etc.

[@sammyann70]

Mama jee needs Papa jee’s attention & time the kids can’t fill that space.

[@aiqbal149]

Still with mama jeee😂 i have boys and i can relate .. no sleep over period.

[@khans7915]

Parents who do not take a back seat really struggle when they get married and it does affect the couple’s marriage. Let adults be adults

[@Fizaasad1995]

I think the reason our parents want to be involved so much in our life cause thats all who they have in their lives when loving far from home. We might not understand this, but when you live with people that are always surrounding you and a certain culture, and when you leave all that all of a sudden for a better life for your kids, it makes you very lonely. So then they look for everything that they miss in us. They are far away from home where they cannot always monitor you and they try their best to give us a life that they didnt have.

[@evilangels61]

That is so sad that Wajeeh was afraid to ask his Mom to do things especially with friends when he was young and when Wajeeh addresses it she plays dumb and says she don't remember ...She really needs to wake up...

[@aishac6992]

My mom does the same thing.

[@notanishbilmiman9019]

12:52 I have to say, when a child comes to an age, parents can only guide them, give advice but you cannot pressure, force, guilt trip them. Parents will be accountable for their actions in front of Allah swt. We need to be careful of this

[@sohankhan9306]

19:10 Wajeeh: “Are you listening to me?” Mana Jee: “No!” Me: “This podcast is so bipoar i love it 😂😂😂😂

[@sheharbano6452]

If it's just you and not Ahmed then how is it "desi" household issue. It's clearly just your mum's anxiety issue and separation anxiety issue with you. I haven't seen mums doing this in desi households with their boys especially. Boys in desi households are as free as a wild horse.

[@saimabibi9958]

Hats off to your parents who got you where you are today ! They’ve raised god fearing pious Muslims who are successful in the western world which is pretty hard !

[@seeya7610]

Wajeeh, I agree with you on everything and I’m a daughter & mother of 2 boys. So it’s from both perspectives. There is a line between being concerned & being controlling. In desi cultures it diminishes. That’s why most desi kids never grow up & full of anxiety & resentments. Desi parents forget until when to guide & when to stop interfering and let kids come for an advise and lean on them when needed.

[@anarkalimughal1086]

Boundaries and privacy is important when you are married. I'm a second generation desi and a mom to a son. I believe that we need to parent until the kid married. Over-parenting is poisonous for a newly married couple.

[@hmajid3575]

Ure mother loves u too much and if she's asks you 4 times u shouldn't mind its parents they're with u today maybe u won't have them in the coming years so make the most of them !

[@fahmida4inayat]

Mama jee is right ✅️ wajeeh after becoming a parent your world and life changes. Wajeeh feels this way now. Once he become a parent the worry and thinking about his own kids is a different level. Sons can't leave there mother. Mom hard work towards the kids different level. Wajeeh your mom is not controlling your clothing. Or ur friends u do get freedom and u are adult. You just be respectful and humble to your mom. She will be melow when u explain to her without becoming loud. I think mama jee don't feel included in ur life so she has to push harder to be involved. Tell her nicely. She knows her son is grown man. But if you act like child toward her she will keep treating you like this. Both lots of love mother of 3 boys. Frm NJ. 😊❤

[@___AJ____]

And before every trip, i know my parents are going to say “ why?? What’s the need, you literally went last year” 😂😂 like their first reaction is always a “NO” It’s only after a 100 arguments they agree. I feel you bro

[@hirawrites5689]

Ita a blessing to have a mother 😭who asking you where you are

[@fadila3373]

26:05 the sleepover thing we all have that pb even in lebanon 😂😂😂my 1st sleepover was when i was 21 😂😂😂

[@valriecollins4420]

Eastern parents make us their whole lives. They need to have their own lives and let us have our own lives. Caring about your children and making them the only reason you live is two different things.

[@aiqbal149]

My husband is 39 and still call his mom when he comes back from office every day and i feel its a blessings because she waits that her child is oky

[@areeshahhassan5662]

Your mom needs to go to therapy. She has decades of undiagnosed anxiety with no help. Its not gonna get better until she does.

[@A1xh4]

Both views are valid. I was always like Wajeeh until I became a mum and realised our parents reasoning for how we were raised. I think Wajeeh will understand once he becomes a parent.

[@RKzworld]

Bro.Aunty not gonna change her ways really needs to let you be. The fact that you even discussing this with your mom show how much you care, also.can Aunty stop saying "we" no.not all parents are controlling and dont get that impression.from.Uncle either he seems chilled. Wajeeh you and Ahmed are the best children. All.im gonna say Good luck with aunty lol. Stay happy stay blessed..teamW

[@maheshdesai-ej7lr]

Fights arguments intense conversations are part of life. There is nothing wrong with having bounderies - we can be greatful with parents , we will be there with our kids , we can love each other, respect each other and have bounderies. Thats what people need to understand. There are people who are narcissistic, manipulative, toxic - it's fact . No point in denying it and they treat their kids ,siblings, friends that way. So that's where bounderies are needed. Another side is even with healthy happy families - space is necessary. You can be there for each other and still have different opinions. So solution is not always ( what movies and tv shows tell us) - only one side should compromise all the time. It's toxic and unfair. Parents and kids are both can make mistakes as both are humans. Happy families give tools and confidence, knowledge to take decision yourself. Happy families respect difference.

[@Heena9090]

Mama jee and wajeeh you both are best, dont worry about anything! Thanks for the fun and enjoyment

[@haleemafarooq5104]

I feel like mama jee was trying to say that as parents she will always be a mentor towards you, no matter how old you are even tho you’re 28 and stable she will always guide you through the journey you’re on no matter what your age is. Completely see both yours and mamas point.

[@nadiamaryam9553]

Here is the thing kids: No one can take your place and especially when the kids are adults the parents are able to have adult conversations and that is amazing for us as parents to experience. I think we all need to schedule times with kids , our partners so everyone can have their time with each other and be content. Nothing will ever be perfect but continue to having honest conversations is the key.

[@sG12669]

Its not about western and eastern. You can learn, grow, and change. You evidently have mamaji. You can just listen to your child, seek resources to learn, and try to. If your child is saying there is a problem, listen.

[@sidk3926]

Wait why is Aymen different?? 28:49

[@devikavohra]

Honestly, growing up in a brown household, I have realised that the restrictions and questions have kept me grounded and shaped me into the person that I am today, which would’ve never happened if I had complete freedom to do whatever the hell I wanted to do without consequences. The first step to a harmonious household is befriending your own parents! My mother is my best friend and I share everything about my life with her. There is open communication about what we expect from each other. I think if we all start by being friends first with our parents, a lot of these issues might be resolved without any further discussion. Also, we should try to go easy on our parents man, it’s their first time living a life too! Btw loving the episodes! 🌸❤️

[@LifewithPatils]

What you guys are doing is really commendable to have such raw and personal topics and conversations on social media! Thank you for doing so! We really love watching chai talk 😊

[@suzankirsten4332]

Its a love hate relationship, before i became a mother i always felt that i was never heard, nobody cared, i had a very overprotective parent who didnt let me have friends or go out with anyone i felt trapped in a house and tbh the only thing i wanted to do was get married as i saw that as a way out, a way of getting my freedom back! THEN .... i became a mother Then i understood everything but also we need to give our children space and let them make mistakes and decisions, open conversations and simply just a safe space for them!

[@anju8376]

I ran away from home to attend my first concert at 16 and my mother gave me the silent treatment for 2 years after that 💗💓💞

[@fouziamughal4392]

If your mother's behavior doesn't change then there will be problems after your brother's marriage .

[@hadiqaqadir2603]

I m younger than u an md also from ur generation... I agreed to u on some points but one thing which I want to point out that u were little harsh last time and u don't understand one thing that Why parents still keep an eye on us even in this age? What I feel about is that parents spend 20 to 25 years in the same manner of check and balance. How can suddenly they undo their habit? Habits don't change in a day or a year. This process of undoing will take time. So until then take it lightly don't be so emotional.

[@Hashimmalik95]

💯

[@Levitating_volcano]

Bruv. It is not as complicated as it seems. Everyone needs quality time with their family and mama jee wants that too. A simple solution to this is- just spend some time together as wajeeh mentioned before he likes to cook his own food and do his own chores, being in the same house as mama jee you guys can try to do that together. It needs literally no effort and is really effective (personal experience)And no Wajeeh, this will not make her dependence worse. Just live in the moment guys, you're gonna miss these days, cherish them. When you'll move out everything will align again but for now spend some time of your day with mama jee. ( For mama jee it would be better to find some fun ways to spend her time and maybe try couples therapy).

[@Levitating_volcano]

This episode's conclusion was so wholesome ❤ and the way you both accepted your flaws was amazing. Hats off to you both.

[@Hashimmalik95]

💯

[@Nat12726]

Do u really think that she will let him move out? She will sleep between the wajeeh and his future wife

[@sultanalimalik3805]

Everytime mama jee begins to spit facts wajeeh changes the subject and avoids it. Everything she is saying is right and I’m in my 20’s

[@fat10100]

Its not even about them letting the kids live. I feel like its upsetting when they don't trust the choices you choose to make in your life. It's true that parents will always be worried about you but as a mom you should trust the way you've raised your kids and trust that they will make the right decisions especially when theyre in their late 20s. You can for sure guide them and give them advice but the way desi parents guide their kids is very demeaning and disrespectful and thats where things get heated and upsetting. The issue is they cant let go. They feel if they let you make your own decisions you wont need them anymore.

[@Snoozy113]

I think Wajeehs frustration comes from seeing Ahmed not having to take the stress of having to provide for the family financially and getting to leave and live his own life in a nice flat etc. Whereas Wajeeh has took the responsibility of helping his parents financially which is alhamdulliah what every child should do, before they run off to start there own lives and not look back if they have given back to their parents. Also at that age sometimes you do feel depressed because there comes a point where you don't want to be worrying about the family but being able to start your own life in terms of being married etc

[@Sarahbintes]

I think she never got happiness and security from her husband. That's why she tries to control her kids to get the happiness from her kids.

[@TheNakster85]

Mama Jee is a real one… her perspective is right overall. Not always going to be perfect but where it’s coming from is special and unique. I get annoyed by it from my mum… but it’s nothing in the grand scheme of things. Wajhee has taken expectations to heart too much… bit sensitive

[@Aishah121]

When you suppress yourself for so many years it does come out a little harsh! But you are a superb Son and very respectful!

[@dch908]

Asalamu aleikum mama jee and wajeeh. A big shout out to you guys for being brave enough to be vulnerable. Wajeeh my brother it's high time you set boundaries with your mom. You can write them down and then explain it to your mom in a very respectful manner preferably in a private setting. Please know that you are good enough and will definitely become a better son doing that. Kindly choose your words wisely when talking to your elders. Mamma jee with all due respect you lived your life while having the freedom of making your own decisions(good/bad). Now it's time for your kids who are not kids anymore now to make their own decisions and only advise them when they ask for it. It's not that you don't understand what wajeeh is trying to say, it's more like that you don't want to understand. No offense but it seems that you want him to make you happy as a mother but you are clearly not respecting his wish of giving him some space. Instead of appreciating him for his efforts, acheivements and mistakes. You focus way too much on what more he can do and have not accomplished yet. All of this is making him feel distant from you. The idea of success you have can be very different from that your kids have. You have to work on yourself in order to heal from your bitter experiences of life. You cannot expect your kids to fulfill the void that you have. P.s: As muslim parents the biggest investment in this world and the hereafter is to have kids who are steadfast on their deen not on how big of a house or car they own.

[@Khadijah-k1f]

Your last line 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻! As she keeps asking him for materialistic things. May Allah help guide her. Inn sha Allah

[@tootrue9441]

Mama g u need to stop stalking and pray for him and say Goodmorning goodnight and hope you allow him but get him married asap n ur worry will decrease by 70% do urself mama a favour n look after urself

[@tanzeelaamjad2414]

Love how honest this podacast is. and how relatable it is to the asian muslims all around the world. all prayers to every muslim in the whole wide world. Mama jee should do cooking youtube videos.

[@tanzeelaamjad2414]

prayers 🙏 amen

[@DollHouse2009]

You should maybe make an episode about your mom and your friends and how your mom deals with it! Great episode and me and my son loved watching it!

[@Hawak308]

Wajeeh i relate so much with you , this is so true i have missed so much because of the stress that asking for permission gives me,literally it’s easier for me to not attend things than asking my family, but it makes me so mad that i am missing out on my life because of them

[@mariesoblessedmartinez]

The mini story from your Mama Jee in point 17:18 was pretty funny ha ha ha 🤣😄😍

[@sabuhibukhari0330]

This is all what we needed after the last episode. This is what needs to be done. Once we release steam, we then reflect and resolve. Good going!

[@minarabi]

Yes there is team Mama , and I m one member of her team 🤯❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏👏 i just hear the first minutes and I need to write it… so let’s continue to watch the interview now

[@missmahmood8518]

Parents also came to USA for their own betterment . No matter what we do we can never repay their hard work but that goes for us as well because we all will be parents one day . We need boundaries and that can be anything . We need to respect each others mental health . But I agree this is for someone who’s close to 30s not for age under 25 .

[@sanaasiddiqui3544]

Loved all the episodes so far! Thanks for the great content. 🫶

[@HKAMILAH]

I don't think you sounded ungrateful or rude in the last podcast. There should be a stage for parents when they start to let go a very reasonable amount. I'm a 25-year-old female; I travel alone whenever and wherever I want... I can keep myself safe. I am educated and can make wise decisions - I would find it disrespectful if someone was breathing down my neck regardless of the reason at my age. Wajeeh, I think you are right 99% of the time. No disrespect to Mama Jee as there are many amazing qualities about her, but I'd find it challenging to have her as my mum (even though my relationship with my mum is complicated for other reasons). I understand Mama Jee means well, but your frustration is justified - especially after everything you've done for your family. I wholeheartedly agree with the comment you read about boundaries; this is what happens after teenage years when boundaries are not enforced and maintained. Sending love to you and yours, can't wait for the next episode!

[@moonlightea]

Fun Fact: Becoming a parent accelerates your growth as a human so much faster. Idk how to explain it, but it's something about being responsible and nurturing a whole other soul that changes your entire perspective of life itself.

[@DrMacca]

Trying to have a conversation with most (not all, there are the rare exceptions) immigrant parents of this age cohort about things like boundaries, independence, and trauma reminds me of that figure of speech about not playing chess with a pigeon; “Never play chess with a pigeon. The pigeon just knocks all the pieces over. Then shits all over the board. Then struts around like it won.” It's not their fault that they're like this...but that doesn't make it okay either.

[@Aishah121]

I am Glad mama really is trying to understand because i have had these conversations with my parents for decades and it has.turned into a war! It is also a huge problem with the woman lacking great companionship from the husband that causes the kids to comoensate which no other relationship other than your partner can!

[@MeredithBanc]

What a toxic and controlling mother! Thank God our mothers are not like that.

[@saviranaveed]

I'm only at 8 minutes and oh my god mama jee is a QUEEN! I've never seen a desi parent give a shit enough to even try to understand where they might've cuased us some accidental hurt

[@Nat12726]

Shes not a queen Shes a toxic narcissist I hope he doesnt get married at all Because this lady will always be the first wife

[@kyyk2433]

Wajeeh will be coming back to mama after having children/ mamajee will be seeking boundaries at that stage/ I have seen all the people coming back to parents / Mamajee is so cool and she could be part of so many groups of ladies that her children will be following her. May Allah bless the whole family.

[@dreamylove4196]

Im surprised how much i love this pod tbh. Im 22f desi american and relate so so much to what is being talked about here. I hope these videos never stop

[@MiniLoves233]

Hi, I don’t have my mom anymore & I love watching your videos because it feels like home 💖 lots of blessings your way 🎉

[@maheenkhan3818]

All of these issues are so common in the desi house hold. Please don't feel bad or feel like you have to give justifications. Parents only do what they saw their parents do when they were kids so it's natural to have the same parenting style already embedded into your head. Toxic or not, we need to see the caring intention behind what our parents do for us and tell us to do.

[@sheharbano6452]

Wajeeh you unconsciously are anxious like your mum. If you'll keep worrying about future, that's what you are gonna do with your kids, being worried for their future. Take a deep breath and relax. That's what I'll do, because this conversation made me realide that I'm like my mum too in anxiety and I need to stop!!!!

[@Khan10645]

Love to Mama G her whole life is wajjee i can see the care and love in her eyes....and i think wajjee cannot live without his mother more then 2 weeks...the discussion you guys are having is never ending noone can win this discussion

[@moonlightea]

Mama Ji, you are such a great mother, and I really look up to you as a boy mom myself. However, I do want to highlight that you have to sometimes detach yourself, even if it's for 15 min per day, for your own well-being, and for the sake of maintaining a healthy and strong relationship with your son. I say this because Wajeeh is still young and not married yet, and as someone who's married to a man who's mother was once also very emotionally attached to him, to the extent that, she would always guilt trip him. It's changed a lot now because we moved out and grew some distance for a little while, but it allowed us to grow gratitude for one another, and now we have a healthy relationship. I'm not saying it has to be this way, but if you can manage your emotions from the start, you can still be very much involved in his life and with his future wife, if you just set the right balance from the start. I will say this: you are a much more friendly mother who's able to at least talk and listen to your son. It was very hard for my husband to talk to his mother initially because she always treated him as the "kid" whenever they spoke. But now it has evolved after we had our own child. As we grow, we become more friendly with our parents. I've become best friends with my parents after marriage and kids. Because when we ourselves become parents, we can find so much to relate to with our parents. We immediately think about our parents and how they experienced things when they were once in our shoes as young parents. As long as you both remain patient with one another and keep this healthy, open communication, I'm certain your relationship will only continue to strengthen and grow. 🙏♥️

[@xmubinax]

It's good that parents care but the effects it has on kids is detrimental. They want them to get married, etc. but that stuff messes with their heads so much they can't!

[@zk21nr]

Free Wajeeh 😂😂😂😂😂

[@rempuiisangma8064]

Being controlled at the age of 30 or more is so frustrating. It's like you need to take permission even just to breathe 😅😅... sometimes we need to understand our kids on certain situations. Talking out with love and care would solve most of the problem instead of trying to control everytime

[@ahmarali6248]

I wish this was in urdu aswell as this could be helpful to so many kids in pakistan aswell. Can it not have an option of audio in urdu?

[@kinnanabdulaziz9532]

This is a great conversation! This is definitely an ongoing issue in the desi community. Having a cultural up bringing is great but especially as a Muslim we should follow the Sunnah and the Quran. There is one incident where the Prophet Mohammed(pbuh) was speaking with his daughter Fatima(RA) and he advise her that she alone would be accounted for her own actions. With that being said a parent can only guide their child till a certain age after that they solely accounted for their own actions. It’s important for a parent to let their child make their own decisions especially without their opinion because will instil confidence and leadership qualities in their child. One of the pillars of Islam is decree, it’s important to understand what Ever is written by Allah(swt) will take place in our lives. There fore as a parents and humans we should try our best to content within our hearts and try not to worry or stress. Having a healthy relationship with your child is important by creating boundaries ( nothing western about that - respectfully) and letting your relationships grow in a way where is a partnership not animosity. Understood that are parents are at high level in hierarchy but we only servants to Allah and there is obedience to your parents not worship. In terms of the eastern culture ,there is a lot incorrect thinking which are not from Islam and rather than build relationships these ideologies create toxic environments. Knowing the rights of each other is the appropriate way to live especially if you claim to be muslims and want to live by the Sunnah and the Quran.

[@Levitating_volcano]

👏 very well said. My point exactly but I couldn't put it in such a beautiful way you did. Desi parents spoonfeed their children and making their life decisions on their behalf which renders them indecisive and immature. Life is all about experiences, fun and ugly. And when you wanna protect us and monitor us at all times, it equates to snatching the pivotal character building experiences from our lives. Islam also encourages that like you mentioned above.

[@babansonia]

But where do I get a chai talk cup?

[@ammarkhalidrajpoot3042]

MAAASHAHALLAH mama je is the best

[@sadafkhan8032]

There should be distance. But you should also take this as a blessing

[@sadafkhan8032]

That’s not nice actually she would never say I do this I do that for you. You keep on telling her flaunting I do this I did that for you.