When A Narcissist Realizes You Refuse To Be Controlled

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Do you want to know more about what happens when a narcissist realizes that you refuse to be controlled? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

I'll see you all there!

[@onegoodtech4all751]

Thank you Ms. Zung.

[@matthewwozniak9138]

The longer your in a toxic relationship, you can see things for what they are and not what they want you to see.

[@susanwhite6761]

Rebecca- I decided 15 years ago to stop all contact wi/ my sister. I don't have to figure out how to deal with her. But I watch your videos because they validate what I went through and it helps with my healing. Thank you.

[@flash_flood_area]

I've cut myserlf off from my sister a few times over the years, but gave her some 2nd, 3rd, 4th, chances, etc., hoping that I could manage a state of minimal contact. This last time seems like it will have to be final, and the latent feelings of guilt aren't fun. It's definitely helpful to get validation. In my experience, it can't be found anywhere else, except spaces like this,

[@everev851]

Same here ! I went no contact with my ex-brother since 2017 . He still tries to find ways to reach me via layers etc , to steal my heritage and create mess as usually. I had tried everything but he finds a problem to every solution . So I gave up and I keep my precious no contact no matter what. Take care

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad that worked out! Keep SLAYing!! ❤🙌

[@judycuello2402]

I also stopped talking to my sister 19 years ago and never looked back. So liberating

[@allentempleton2429]

One of two things happen . They will either realize the game is over and disappear. The bad ones will fly into a rage. If you refuse to give in, it could get dangerous, especially if you try to leave.

[@lovestolaugh]

Mine decided to disappear. Thank God! I got lucky!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

True! So how long have you been dealing with this person?

[@johndoe-wv3nu]

Mine tried to destroy me. Turned my kid against me. Everyone she had contact with. Destroyed herself in the process.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

@@johndoe-wv3nu Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/ ❤

[@johndoe-wv3nu]

@@RebeccaZungEsq unfortunately I left 17 years ago. My son is now 30 and met/married a woman just like Mom. I moved on and have been in a healthy, happy, supportive relationship that stared 16 years ago (10 years living together). I refuse to have all that in my life. Hopefully, someday my son will smarten up. Until then, I'm out.

[@F3f3333]

No contact is truly the best nothing nada! Nothing let them live in their delusional world lol

[@F3f3333]

@Shelley S. yes it gets hard some days but I roll a blunt watch me some married with children lol or my other tv shows

[@TheSaneHatter]

The worst part, is when you're in an environment where you're SURROUNDED by narcissists . . . like in school. That's when they all go off-the-rails towards you at once, because you dared to show some individuality or self-determination, and that's how bullying starts.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

That's true! What was your favorite part of the video?

[@TheSaneHatter]

On a second viewing (it’s been almost a week, so I had to go back and re-watch), it was the section on “empty threats” and shortly after, about how they WANT you to feel ganged-up-on. (I’ve experienced both of these.)

[@s_coral]

Perfect analogy of them baiting you in like a fish and then taking you down like quick sand. The toddler throwing a tantrum as well.

[@shoniegriffin9229]

Ive seen it, Ive lived it.

[@emustaro]

I've seen it, I'm seeing it....

[@steveedward7572]

Just cut your losses and move on. Break all contact. There are millions of other people on the planet.

[@christoering8139]

Yes totally especially family that constantly put down smear and Gaslight....

[@amberfuchs398]

People get stuck from the "sunk cost fallacy". Cut your losses is great advice.

[@alisonstone6143]

It’s hard as you know. I don’t even want to be in a relationship- Good luck to you. Heal strong and don’t look back

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

That's true! Keep SLAYing!! ❤🙌

[@mariafihn6874]

mine is being nice past week because as he bitched about food budget i finally said well if you want the budget this tight then live alone and fulfill your stingy budget that way. Not a word ... now nice , waiting for shoe to drop

[@karenmorris6503]

If you are in school, the teacher might send your classmates after you as flying monkeys to force you back into submission, in order to reestablish total control over the class.

[@Mo0shii]

leave them dumbfounded, after they test you, the highroad is the only road.

[@Peter-pv8xx]

After Christmas of last year 2022 when my sister and brother-in-law stormed out of my house I haven't spoken to either of them, my older sister she's 71 told him that he needs to apologize to me, he told her that he will, it's been three months and not a word, as far as I'm concerned I have no reason or desire to speak to him ever again or my sister for that matter, thank God they live 2000 miles away in Colorado I'm in New Jersey.

[@taraarrington2285]

That's just the thing I was never an enemy to any of the narcissus like I was just being kind I might have been setting some boundaries and saying no for once but they are the ones who made me enemy I was never enemy

[@Bike4Life231]

In it right now, and it's gotten so bad that I've had to call the police several times. He's super upset, saying that I've been manipulating our kids and that I'm putting up walls been them and him. But the thing is, my kids see his behavior because it's affected them too, and they want nothing to do with their dad. So now he's escalating and getting nasty. I can't get him out of the house. The court system is so slow. He is dangerous for al of us mentally, and potentially physically, but he hasn't crossed any lines yet so I can't make him leave and I can't leave. It's just very stressful and frustrating and scary.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Sorry to hear about what you've been through. You got this! Keep SLAYing! Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@diamemetivier8030]

Restraining order

[@RobWilliams007]

I’ve seen it all. She even set up counseling but i wasn’t allowed to bring up certain topics. This was done so she would never look like she had the issues and everything was me. I quit going after a while because it was pointless.

[@KERNOWFISHGRAN]

I've seen it. Mine said that I was being watched by the police and social services would take my children away from me, even though the youngest was 15.

[@yukio_saito]

I've seen it! My toxic ex-boss future-faked when I declined to be manipulated. I got stuck in the boring job because I took what he said seriously. Nothing he promised happened.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@bobbarker1798]

I've seen a thirty-something adult throw a fist-shaking, screaming tantrum. Only got worse (mean, manipulative, destructive to a criminal level) with age. Moral: if you see this, run!

[@CurlyHostile]

I love the comment threads on the videos :) it's really helpful seeing people digest the information, share their understanding and experiences, Slay community.

[@WitchWithin]

OMG, This is so true...Hard not to laugh at the tantrums.

[@karlready7610]

I'VE SEEN IT! Everything you mentioned in this video and one of your others "I'VE SEEN IT!" is the theme of the point, 1 or 5, she does them all. I must add that we e been together for 33 years. I'm 9 1/2 years older than she is and she has the right to find fun and halpiness and travel. I'm 67 years old next week to she thinks at 57 that she us going to find real love, because she doesn't think she ever loved me, lol. This is what you're talking about, thank you for being here, I'd be completely lost without videos like yours. God bless you!

[@clareadelaidejohnson473]

Defamation of character accusations of substance abuse accusations of being any kind of addict but the narc supply is totally avoided and denial is intact

[@jetjas55]

I’ve Seen It & I’m Slaying It!!

[@richardkenana214]

Have seen it!

[@winniezhang6533]

I’ve seen this “I’ll take your children away and you’ll never find them”.

[@jadeashford5962]

i have seen everything you talk about starting from when i was a kid living with my narc parents right up until now.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@thewishingpooltarot5425]

This is spot on, been through every step of this. It's soul destroying ❤

[@ramazankokur1387]

"I've seen it!"

[@arthurcurry7688]

He 'ghosted me' in 2015! And, I haven't seen him since. Then, about 4 years ago he showed up stalking me in my home town with his new girlfriend & newborn son next to him.

[@Bhappi137]

They lose their s**t

[@smokyo7855]

I’ve seen it all! Thanks for all you do. So helpful

[@Jackgritty28]

Refuse to be controlled,don't take it personal,is it your fault their a narcissist.Dont give in to their evil mind games,be aware of their words and actions,if it doesn't seem right,don't comply to their wishes 🚩✔️💲❌🆘

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad you found them helpful! Keep SLAYing! ❤

[@arthurcurry7688]

To this day, Iam still paying for his daughter's 'Airline Ticket ' & Alex's 'Airline Ticket ' from Nigeria to Orlando, FL, which both were 'NO SHOWS '! He screwed me over.

[@arthurcurry7688]

These "unknowing individuals" has certain 'License Plates' letters and numbers that hurt me by torturing me. Nasty very cruel words/slurs.

[@jenniferhopkins4221]

I've not just seen it... I'm going through it right now!!!

[@arthurcurry7688]

Here this individual is in town, creeping around stalking me. He is one very Sick Individual. I hope that God hears my prayers 🙏 and answers them!

[@lw4294]

What if it’s your own dad though? And family? I’m the only sane in a Narc cult

[@LOVEtoPLAYdrums]

I just tried to resolve things with my dad @Red Lobster right now... And he literally put his gum in my food... I call my mom's side a "clan" and my dad's was all "friendly fire is ok..." Hope you're doing ok~! I ended my narcs abuse cycles of 35 years on 1.9.23... My whole family was fake actors the whole time... wearing narcs masks the whole time... Bring Me The Horizon - MANTRA (Official Video) kzbin.info/www/bejne/jHK7mGpugrB9ma8 🖼🎨🎭🎼🎹🎸🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🎼🔈🔉🔊🔔📀 (Google: Narcissistic Ink Blot Test) (kinda the only easy fast test I know of to test a narcissist)

[@fainitesbarley2245]

Step back. Cut down contact to bare minimum. Learn to recognise the behaviours objectively. If that doesn’t work - ruthlessly go “no contact”.

[@monicknelson7297]

I've definitely SEEN far MORE of than I care tolerate or remember! 👺

[@monnieholmes7113]

I'm not going to talk to you until you get better, you need help!! The whole family is saying this. This came about after I told her "a few people see that your a drinker. I don't respond to them." That was all, I don't drink alcohol as well. Guess it's ridiculous too much.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@fidelmashelton9491]

"I've seen it."

[@tabitharoberson3575]

I've seen it

[@missymintz3189]

Seen It .. Lived It .. Bought a T-Shirt, Sent A Postcard! My Ex-Husband, and now my 37 yo Daughter. Unbelievable!!! I know she’s my daughter, but her delusional lies, hatred towards me followed by Love Bombing for money and empty promises got to be too much. I walked away!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@monicahocking1507]

Harder when it's your kids.

[@crissieroserose]

i have a bpd , narcissistic daughter , she used to be able to make me give in ,, but not now ! she is 38 a nd still trying to make my life hell ,

[@shelleynamdar7103]

I've seen every single aspect of narcissistic behavior you've described. I've been dealing with a whole family of them, so many of these things are happening simultaneously. What I've decided is that I will never allow them to make me feel as miserable as they are. I know I'm not the person they're attempting to make me out to be, so I've found ways to cut as much contact as I can, despite the fact that a court order keeps us unhealthily bound. The court system may think it knows what's best for families, but they don't appear to comprehend the destruction a narcissist (or several) can exact, so it's up to you to protect yourself and your family. Family court won't do that for you. Dr. Phil said it best: Family Court is the worst place for a family to be.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@leiailim4260]

Could not agree more. There are not many solicitors or judges out there who can see this and know how to navigate narcissistic behaviour.

[@B.I.-EIO_macdonald9786]

So I am awesome!

[@nickel7065]

The moment I really.put my foot down and made sure she understood that now it's enough was the moment she started to discard me. Nine months later, seven months after our wedding, I filed for divorce after finding out that she tried to get a coworker in bed. She got a shock since she had not seen my dark and adamant side before. That was her epiphany coming.

[@shahadah1451]

I will break all contact after he finishes paying me my divorce settlement. Lol

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

You got this! Keep SLAYing! ❤

[@trueGamerboy]

I’ve seen it and I’m currently going through it this video is dead on accurate

[@anzitasaikia471]

"I have seen it"

[@christophernielson357]

I have seen it. And Rebecca, you are spot on. Now add BPD and you got yourself a real cocktail.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad you found them helpful! Keep SLAYing! 🙌

[@arthurcurry7688]

I will definitely be in need of a lawyer!

[@Urfavlils257]

Thank you for your great videos, Rebecca. I watch them constantly and appreciate them a lot. They really helped me to see the light in the tunnel. I was thinking about one of your videos when I was watching a scene in Tell All of 90 days fiancee where Bilal gave Shaeeda a baby tee with Will you have a baby with me. The whole audience were just "adored" with his behavior including a supply Shaeeda but I personally had goose bumps. I saw his attempt of "building an army of flying monkeys" so to speak and winning them with a cheesy act with a motive of isolate a victim and therefore establishing control over her while silencing her completely. Thank you again for your amazing videos, without them I would not be able to see through the gaslighting.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Awesome!! Happy to help! 😊

[@YarFreedago]

I have seen it! In spades. My story would make a good case study and/book for what living and a divorce with a Covert Narrisist is like.

[@ahsanmaqsood3967]

I have seen it 👍

[@ginabaker9764]

I've seen it all! Thank you Rebecca!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Great!! Happy to help! 😊

[@arthurcurry7688]

He told me that he had a house that he owned in Africa, and that he would sell it, and live together as husband & wife back in the U.S. It never happened! He 'Ghosted me' afterwards.

[@marycrosby923]

Saw it today

[@vineethathomas799]

After long time I thought I should give a call to them...god..they just suck the life out of me....they never change....still my head ache from aftermath...horror even on phone..

[@Lglaze1932]

I’ve seen this and lived but this narcissist is still trying to ruin my reputation, blame me for their failed marriages, and threatened my life. I have the police report, and this is a mental I’ll sibling…..

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@dianechriske530]

I've seen it all , the reason I decided to go no contact and allow my lawyer to meditate all . Thank you Rebecca you have really helped me 😘👍

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad you found them helpful! Keep SLAYing! ❤

[@CynthiaSchoenbauer]

I thank GOODNESS for you! This explains soooo much for me in both my self and in my narcissistic father and in our relationship. It makes it so much easier to begin to think of a solution. 😂 My crying is out of relief of some clarity in my life. I did not know he was (or who was) a toddler, and you explained it in such explicit terms. Many thanks.

[@arthurcurry7688]

So, I am not sure if I am married or not! He has committed multiple crimes involving money fraud. He used me solely as a "Money Mule"!

[@samn8616]

After ten years in an off & on relationship with a narcissist, I broke away 4 months ago. Although this month I went no contact because nothing you do will make a difference with them. You can be nice. You can be mean. You can call them out. They will deny and deflect. You can even present them with a screenshot I've been flirting cheating and they will still deny 🤣 Cut your losses. Remember the badass you were before they got you all messed up. Because if you were not such a badass, they would not have wanted anything to do with you in the first place. So remember you are worthy. You deserve respect. You deserve a full-blown love without tricks lies and games. Keep educating yourself. Knowledge is power

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@Roseylady2]

I am dealing with a cyberbully narcissist. She spreads horrible lies about others too not just me. She has been reported to youTube several times (every video) I started ignoring her but she brought me up again spreading more lies. This woman is 64 years old.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Sorry to hear about what you've been through. How long have you been dealing with this person?

[@BugammaMomma]

I've seen this before - Thank You for what you do --- so amazingly accurate.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Thank you so much! What’s one win you had this week?

[@Moss_ink]

I've seen it 💯 it's happening to me now with ex. she not letting me see my 4 year old just to hurt me but she's hurting my daughter hard out 🥺. But I've got this now 💯 thank you and 👍🏻 From Christchurch New Zealand 💯🇳🇿

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Glad you found them helpful! Keep SLAYing! ❤

[@joeb5578]

I think I'm going through this right now. My Narcissistic gf is changing tactics. She's being nicer to me. I realize what she's doing. I'm a little slow but as I process it the, light shows through very brightly. I don't have the guts, the courage to withdraw from her. That's my abandonment fears kicking in. I don't want to be left alone. I'm a grown man. I make good money. I take care of my body. Shit. Thanks Mom & Dad. They were messed up too. She's very good. It all comes from my childhood and hers too. Thanks, Rebecca. Funny thing, that's her first name too. For Real! That's it. They're Chameleons. Wow. What a trip. I never knew this kind of personality existed. And from what I read, there are more and more incidents of this each year. It's Satan's Minions. She's a Covert Narc too. I'm getting this stuff down.

[@matthewthompson5792]

Dude, to quote the great Reverend X “cut that bitch off!! Next caller”

[@sheribalsoma9778]

Satan’s Minions ✅~ SPOT ON ❤❤❤❤❤🇺🇸

[@judybrian3949]

Never refer to them as "my" they are aliens 👽... 👽

[@judybrian3949]

Many of us were right where you are, it took STRENGTH to walk away, one day at a time. Take back your power. Self-love ❤️ loving yourself enough to quit allowing them to hurt you. It is mental abuse. Life gets so wrapped up in their lives, that you lose your life. Quit thinking they will change, someone will change YOU. They dangle just enough bread in front of you to keep you in place. They read your reactions. They study you, and they enjoy every minute of it. They NEVER saw us as people, they saw us as objects, something to use for their convenience. They don't love you, they don't even love themselves. Just a dark pit of a human, with NO empathy. Any empathy they presented was from mirroring you. Get to know yourself, the person you have been sacrificing in this addictionship

[@judybrian3949]

But if you are in an addictionship with a Narc you ARE ALONE

[@truesightlife]

Ive seen them

[@ahsanmaqsood3967]

Rebecca alot of love for you ❤😘. And bundles of thanks also😢

[@gwendolynbien-aime1536]

I’ve seen it and live it….BIG TIME!!

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@arthurcurry7688]

Later, as things turned out he blocked my email's to him and his 'Elsa' daughter who I spoke to several different times.. then she disappeared.

[@tonymar4546]

I’ve seen it!

[@leiailim4260]

Hi Rebecca, thank you so much for your work. Could you do a video on how best to support one's child who has fallen under the custody of a narcissist, who is doing everything they can to frustrate contact.

[@WelcomehomebyJen]

I've seen it!!!!!!!

[@arthurcurry7688]

He also said he had a 'daughter' who attended a private school in Germany, and he had asked me to send him money through Western Union to her.

[@mcash4063]

My spouse just tells me if you aren’t happy get out and file for a divorce. He won’t do it himself.

[@maisumsobreviventedeabuson5277]

I have a surprise for them too

[@johnmoirano5221]

OH YES I never had anyone put it out like that before ever

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@sallyjaynes2433]

I got that Covert mood swing today at me ...he got #assertive101 right back atcha‼️

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Keep SLAYing! ❤

[@johannaadams4703]

saw this yesterday

[@hellentatsios7888]

i saw this happen two days ago with a wiman who i thought was a friend.shes a bully, control freak, a spoiled brat.

[@oliverwright6549]

I'VE SEEN IT!!!!

[@donaldkingnbc-hwc1615]

I’ve seen it

[@SmittyInVegas]

Good day Rebecca. One of the most toxic people that I have worked with for nearly 16 years got in a little trouble at work a month or so ago. His problem could’ve easily been written off with the HR department. But the short end of the story is. His narc boss wrote him up for not using the proper procedure to call in sick. this guy got so stressed out. He was actually checking his blood pressure all shift long for over a week. He then had a massive stroke in a meeting at work. That right up basically blew his mind and he imploded. I am wondering if this is an example of typical behavior? God bless you and everyone here. Smitty.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep SLAYing!

[@bingo1232]

Thank you. Right or wrong… here’s what I recently (2023) wrote to my (narcissistic?) cousin who has owed me more than $3000 for over 11 years (and has paid-back only a pittance). “I am glad to show you (1) Validation (of your hard work to achieve self-sufficiency) (2) Admiration (of your intellect and healing skills) (3) Recognition (of your humanity and caring) (4) Attention (to your sparkling personality)… AFTER you pay me back.” I may never get an answer back from her but I am now going for BALANCE in our relationship or…. nothing at all. Her re-payment to me could be a sign of her healing. It may not, but at least we will have known BALANCE. My eyes are now open.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Please check this out for extra support - icanslay.com/

[@maribelgomez9896]

I’ve seen it!!!!!

[@prodbyrs__]

I'VE SEEN IT!!!

[@arthurcurry7688]

When his unfaithful new girlfriend cheated on him, he decided to try and win me back apparently. But, it ain't going to happen. He is an evil man who stole a lot of money from me!

[@marylee7036]

I have seen it 🤦‍♀️

[@surfguy4u]

seen it,seen it with a police friend i cut ties with.

[@ismailpatel7222]

There children in adult bodies facts

[@amarbyrd2520]

Facts That's even weirder if they're your parents

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

TRUE! So what was your favorite part of the video?

[@ismailpatel7222]

@@RebeccaZungEsq They dont liked to be challenged all the narrissists on planet earth

[@gracevh2677]

What about a narc who is also an addict…I haven’t seen any videos with this scenario. Thx 🙏🏽

[@Johnadams20760]

stalking happens

[@diannewible3879]

I've seen it!

[@arthurcurry7688]

I have tried changing my email addresses twice before, but he has illegally hacked into them.

[@clareadelaidejohnson473]

I've seen it I've experienced it and now we Re in the smear fase how long has this been going on for ?

[@amnasalman3407]

But how to handle flying monkeys especially if they r from your own side of family like brother's wife

[@queenspokentruths]

My kid's dad said he would take me out and have tried multiple times. And he's super abusive in every type of way. He beat our 6-year-old so badly that he had purple and green marks on his butt and couldn't sit down. I had to run him an Epsom salt bath to soothe his butt. We have four boys and I can't seem to get us away from him.

[@lsimon5305]

I am in no contact with a brother narcissist for over a month.I 've gotten messages which said I was selfish.

[@lsimon5305]

I didn't respond..My first thought,after I laughed,was that I wasn't selfish enough.Selfish is good.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Sorry to hear about what you've been through. Check this out - icanslay.com/ Keep SLAYing!