Reconsidering My Engagement When Fiancee Didn't Defend Her Sister During Our Party r/Relationships

[@wildone9946]

Claire: "I was told to toughen up" Also Claire: *hasn't grown a spine to defend her sister*

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

She sounds like she doesn't really like her sister. I had to do it, so you do too!

[@stonefox2546]

Bullies who tell their victims to "toughen up" always mean it as "stop telling me I'm being a shithead".

[@redacted8005]

Clare: emotionally & verbally abused as a child OP: "you're family is toxic block them" Clare: "please drop it, I can't recognize that I've been abused" OP: "OK, I'm breaking up with you" Clare: now lacks a support system that could help her overcome her trauma

[@tykebaker5337]

​@@redacted8005 So he should sacrifice his own mental help to help hers?🙃

[@michelitasc]

@@redacted8005 that’s true but she needs to work on herself before getting married and having kids or she’ll just repeat the behaviors with the kids, and how is that fair to them? OP is in the right to be concerned.

[@owl7072]

"We don't engage in drama" You do when that drama is a person sexualizing your _child._ If anyone near me said that about _any_ kid let alone _mine,_ their face would be engaging with my fists.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

This

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

The irony is if they stood up to her one time then ALL of the drama would stop.

[@brigidtheirish]

*I KNOW, RIGHT?!* My mom's almost *clinically* non-confrontational and I *know* she'd have cut someone like this out of her life *long* before this. She probably wouldn't have said anything directly to anyone who'd make such an attack, instead focusing on making sure whoever was attacked knew that the claims were false and that the person had to know they were false if they were posting pictures of the supposed "child pornography." The most she'd probably do would be blocking the person on social media and other forms of direct communication because talking would be like arguing with a brick wall.

[@0potion]

Except it was the parents who sexualized the daughter the 1st time by making her do the dance in the 1st place. I'm getting really sick of people acting like Doing a hoochie dance isn't sexualiting yourself before anyone else gets the chance to. It really sounds to me like they sexualized their 14 years Old daughter and when the aunt called them out they Realize She was right and didn't want to argue. Like I'm sorry but any 50 year old girl who is twerking doesn't matter who told them to twerk doesn't matter how people respond to it she is sexualizing herself. In fact if I was supposed to I would have been upset about the fact that my future parents in law forced there 14 Your old daughter to do a hoochie dance At my engagement party. So many of you people are dogpine on the ant for Sexualizing her when most of the adults around her had already done that.

[@technicaldifficulties368]

"keep the peace"? Who's peace? One person who's doing their best to make everyone as miserable as she is?

[@Meiiiow]

I would not marry someone allowed sexual comments towards teens and kids.

[@Park-Kim_VMin]

Me either

[@0potion]

But you will marry someone whose parents over sexualizes their sister by making them do what is essentially a stripper dance at a f****** engagement party? I love how much everyone's dog piling on this aunt for calling out how an appropriate is when it is in fact inappropriate. Janice's words may not have been the best choice but they were all true and all factually correct. And it honestly seems to me like OP is sexualizing her more than Anyone else. Cause everyone else literally said ads don't worry about it she doesn't s*** all the time OP is the only one flipping out about it

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

That's so deranged to go on social media and essentially call a kid a slut. There's a lot more going on beneath the surface with that psycho lady.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

If you try to stay neutral on a very clear cut right and wrong issue it's basically agreeing with the aggressor because you're allowing them to get away with whatever they're doing with no opposition or backlash. And you're allowing the victim to suffer for the sake of keeping the illusion of peace that the aggressor has already destroyed. That poor kid that has to deal with all the creepy people that'll try and bother her because of her aunts creepy post. The fact that the aunt would say something like "people like that deserve SA" about her own niece is really gross. And all the adults around are willing to basically throw the kid under the bus to spare the feelings of the grown bigot, it's unacceptable.

[@Meiiiow]

@@untitled-gv3qp yes totaly agree with all your point. Hate when adults sexulize kids then slut shame them plus filming it and post it where wierdos can spread it around.. we got a rule in our family and that is not filming the kiddos dancing or post post where they are bathing in the Beach just to protect them from this kind of shit. Plus we all know nasty ass ppl gets their jolly even if it is complety innoscent, tiktok proven that fact also why no kid under 18 should post anything that shows how they look intil they understand the dangers of the Internet

[@MizTameRumors]

How did inviting Janice avoid drama...? She sexualised and insulted a child, insulted her parents, ruined the party and maybe destroyed a relationship. Honestly I wouldn't marry someone who would just stand by an accept their relatives abusing children.

[@vanillablossom]

The bit about relationship, well, I think it's good it happened now when no kids are involved and the wedding didn't happen yet, they can have clean cut without spending on divorce. I think if they met Janice further down the line and OP saw that his wife allows some dumb aunt to abuse their kids, because "she had to endure it, so the kids can too" and he'd be alone fighting a family of enablers... nope, better to get clean break now. And / or send Claire to therapy, she was abused and either wants other to be abused out of spite or really shares such mindset.

[@WhitneyDahlin]

Because she's the type of person to perpetuate hazing. Because she had to experience no one in her family standing up for her that's why she refuses to let her fiance stand up for her sister. Which makes her even worse of a person in my book honestly. Because she knows how it feels to be bullied and shamed and have no one in your family stand up for you. She's just upset no one stood up for her so now she refuses to stand up for anyone else. Those types of people are literally the worst. They are the type of person to throw a child in the pool who doesn't know how to swim because that's how they learned 🙄

[@mezzokitty247]

@@WhitneyDahlinDefinitely this! Also, that last sentence brings up the possibility that Claire would not only allow Janice to say and do these things to her hypothetical future children, there’s a good chance Claire would also say and do these things to her own kids herself in order to make them “toughen up” and cuz “she had to deal with it, so they have to as well”, cuz she has clearly decided she wants to continue normalizing the mistreatment, probably since she is no longer enduring it herself and is on the giving side of it now.

[@ISIIN15]

As long as the dance didn't have like twerking and crotch grabbing moves or anything in the movie cuties I'm with the boyfriend dumping the fiancee in this one

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Wonder if Janice is the wealthy aunt?

[@omnipossum92]

Story 1: Kinda seems like Claire is the type who thinks “I went through it so Hanna can go through it too”

[@mindyschocolate]

That’s exactly what it is. Claire isn’t someone worth marrying, imo. They all sound toxic af.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

bingo!

[@vanzy01]

💯itbelikethattho

[@Davtwan]

“iF i CaN dO iT sO cAn AnYoNe!!1!” = “Your feelings are not valid even if you are my sister.”

[@davemarsteller8377]

​@@Davtwanand this is how hazing starts. For real.

[@danisonice.]

CLAIRE WAS UPSET THAT HE REPORTED THE POST!?!?!? This honestly proves that she wants her sister to be shamed. It's not about drama.

[@HoodieHorizon]

If she really thought what she was doing was CP then shouldn’t posting pictures about it be considered distribution of CP, aka a felony?

[@tatkkyo9911]

Hypocrites don't really have an understanding of laws.

[@Littlefluffysatan]

That was my first thought and hoped someone in the story would’ve asked her about that.

[@historictruecrime5119]

These people don’t function with logic.

[@CalemCooper7]

EXACTLY!!! Hopefully no one in that family will actually become a victim of abuse like that because there is NO excuse for their views on CP and SA. And it’s all their views because they don’t stand against that crazy aunt.

[@rogueshark23]

​@@CalemCooper7 OP should cancel the wedding.

[@C0C0N0T]

"my 14 year old sister needs to grow a spine, like I had to" not only is she continuing the circle of emotional abuse/outright bullying, but wheres that spine she talks of? She cant stand up to her aunt at all, shes more like a doormat turning to the dark side lmao Grow a spine... Actually the most ridiculous thing ive ever heard..

[@mindyschocolate]

Right? That’s exactly what I thought. Spineless people avoid drama.

[@livsweetdreams]

She needs to grow a spine and protect her 14 year old vulnerable probably now insecure sister Ffs

[@dillongage]

No, it makes sense to say someone needs to grow a spine. But children learn from watching their elders. Hana cant grow a spine if no one ever shows her what that looks like. You stand up for her now, so that when she is an adult she knows how to stand up for herself. Baffles me that people expect actual children to just figure it out. This isnt a box of kraft mac and cheese ffs. There arent instructions on the back.

[@nataliereeves3594]

What gets me is it wasn't the sisters idea to do the dance in the first place, but her parents made her do it. They knew what the aunt was like but made her do it anyway. It's like the parents are not only ignoring the aunts behaviour but also triggering it for the sake of creating drama and making their daughters victims who are not allowed to complain.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

​@@dillongage I absolutely agree with you. It's unrealistic to expect someone to have a backbone when they never got the chance to grow one during their formative years.

[@dianabialaskahansen2972]

Story 1: So many red flags in this one. OP really needs to grow a spine and end it, because the fiancee and her family (except Hanna) seems to be a toxic mess.

[@carolsh1983]

I think OP has a spine and is working hard to stand up for a teenager no one else is speaking for. But yeah, it is a mess of red flags I would want to see my way out of.

[@chetarisin3035]

He has a spine though.

[@zerofate9669]

It's a mess and a disaster in a can. Calling a child a stripper, saying she will be r@ped and her dance p0rn is so fked up and sick. This woman has some issues and why would the family exclude that and still want her around. The fiancé is just terrible and I'm betting she wouldn't stand up for her children against this woman. She's literally enabling her behavior by not getting involved and sweeping this under the rug. For fk sake Hanna is a minor, she's still fragile to alot of things, the r@pe comment will hit home for any normal underage child, what child wants to hear or experience such a ln act? Op dump your fiancé, she wouldn't stand up for her sister, she definitely wouldn't do it for her children, nieces/nephews, or anybody that matter to her or you. This family is a walking disaster, drop them, if that was my child she talked about I'd report her and called her out to everyone she knows, including her church. Let's see her walk around with that same attitude

[@RequiemPoete]

Oh don't worry. Hanna will be just as toxic in a few years.

[@Allmightyimortal]

I think he did. In Comments on his post he said he tried talking to her one more time and her stance didn't change so he was talking to his father about cancelling the wedding. Though reddit locked the post and update so no idea about anymore follow up. Plus it was 5 months ago.

[@kimsvisualdiary]

Story 1: I want to avoid drama so let’s continue to allow this person in our lives that is the source of ALLLLLL the drama! MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!

[@damien678]

Claire needs to learn the difference between picking your battles and being a doormat

[@lewid019]

Because "familyyyy"

[@CyeOutsider]

"Thats just who she is!" "Well, this is just who I am. So why do *I* have to get over it?"

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 3 - Insulting shy introverts and laughing at them in group settings is a great way to make them feel more comfortable. Christ, OP needs to nope out of this relationship. He and his mother are jerks.

[@tegantalks9612]

If something like that happened to my daughter I would call the mother and tell her I’m sick and tired of her c-ntishness but I’m a very loud and outgoing person

[@condorboss3339]

As an introvert myself, I loathed the extroverted blowhards who thought the whole world should be like them.

[@LadyPii]

Damn, what's up with all the a-holes in todays stories? I'm so glad that I'm surrounded by normal people.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Not just FMIL. I found the original post and there are comments saying what FBIL did with the chair wasn’t an “accident”.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

​@@LadyPii Yea, all 3 stories were equally bad today. 1 and 2 cuz it involves minors, 3 cuz it's bullying someone with anxiety. Hope all OP's get out of these situations.

[@Taecoconut]

Story 1: OP needs to leave. Claire actually doesn’t think what her aunt said was wrong. She’s indifferent and doesn’t care. She’s the type of person who will ask what a person is wearing when they’re SA

[@HackiePuffs]

I’d say she’s not indifferent I’d say she actually agrees with the aunt and is on the aunts side with her similar outlook as her aunt

[@mayurakshimukherjee7948]

​@@HackiePuffs she doesn't have a similar outlook but her family & whole extended family bends over backward for the mean bully (aunt) anybody who tries to cut her out becomes the black sheep. But I would marry such a spineless spouse who will probably allow her family members to bully our future children. It's not worth the drama.

[@sharyebethancourt3660]

@@HackiePuffs yeah I thought that when Claire said Hanna probably watches that stuff anyway. Like yeah, I might’ve made a choice to read smut at that age, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for a whole ass adult to sexualize me at that age.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

@@sharyebethancourt3660 This! That irritated me so much. Like, does it somehow make it okay for the aunt to wish ill will on the child if she has knowledge of anything s3xual? What was even the connection there? She might know what SA is so it's okay to say she should be SA'd? She's not arguing to ignore the stuff the aunt said, she's arguing that it wasn't that bad. I need an update where he throws her to the curb and the kid managed to live with family that wasn't trash. because I'd feel so bad if he ended up marrying her and just dealing with her and her family's nonsense. No one deserves that.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Yep. The misogyny is coming from inside the house in that one.

[@TI3RU]

story 1: "grow a spine" says the person who bends over backwards to keep a family member from just ranting online for not getting what she wants 😂 sounds like the fiancé needs to "grow a spine", someone stronger wouldn't be bothered by someone ranting that they aren't invited to a wedding

[@khaleesireyna731]

Lbr, Claire doesn't care about it because it's not happening TO HER. Selfish ahole, thy name is Claire!

[@Dee-jq2ob]

The wood carving reminds me of all the dads who wear awful ties to work, because the kids gave them as gifts. My husband proudly wore his ties and don’t even think of making fun of him, his children gave them out of love and that’s all that matters. 30 years later and he still has them, he’s very sentimental

[@karend1577]

The 15 year old's gift is precious. I remember in middle school that the girls took home economic class and the boys had carpentry. I was soooo envious when my male classmates showed off their wooden key holders with their family name on it. They even did metal work! Today, I work in a company in which the men manually make windows and doors. I sometimes pause and stare with awe at these aluminum doors. I always praise the fabricators. If I wasn't such a klutz, I would ask to do some small stuff for them... That stepmother just doesn't appreciate such a gift it is.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Never too late to learn wood working or metal craft if that's something you really find fascinating and you wanna try it, I'm sure taking an introductory class would be amazing for you.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

I'm a cleaner and during Covid lockdowns the metalworking factory I clean asked me to come in and work on some of their stuff. I learnt to grind and spot weld and it was so much fun. I HIGHLY recommend getting into it if you're curious.

[@DanniSoRude]

I was also blessed with 2 left feet and hands 😂 But start small .... I started with little pieces I bought at garage sales .... If you mess them up it doesnt really matter 😂

[@elisa4695]

I'll say this much. If ANY family member said that about my daughter and post pictures of her, i would probably go to prison.

[@Gumbier_Than]

I'm right behind you. Hell, I always save bail money. 🫤

[@Bleg94]

Very Understandable, but not really worth it, you will also not be able to control that persons contact with your children from prison

[@elisa4695]

@@Bleg94 i absolutely see your point.

[@DanniSoRude]

And I'd send you money for commissary and phone calls! There's no way someone can get away with using my kid's pictures and the word "porn" in the same post!

[@johnlong572]

so you just admitted you'd have your daughter do sexual dances in front of the whole family and attack people that pointed that out? thanks for exposing yourself

[@maurer3d]

Story 1: NTA, they aren't "avoiding drama", they are allowing a toxic person to insult and abuse their 14 year old child. If I was the father (or mother), I would never invite this toxic mess to be anywhere near my child.

[@alexandermccalla5098]

“Oh. She’s coming to the wedding no matter what I think? Then I’m not coming.” GG

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

Story 2: If the mil is gonna berate op, he should shoot back with the fact that she trampled on his son’s gift which is not only a b-day gift to his stepmother but also a sign of his acceptance of her in his life as another guardian.

[@jamiesatyr1309]

Women are idiots who think their narcissistic wants should trump being a sympathetic and sensitive human being. I'd of hung up on the MIL as soon as she started barking and condoning her rotten daughter's attitude. 😮😊😂

[@WadeAlma]

It's her birthday. She's not asking much for him not to give her a gift she thinks looks ugly in public. Also giving gifts in public like that could lead to her losing it. Like respect it's her birthday. She should be able to enjoy it. She could of lied and said she was scared of losing it. Or she could of been cruel and told him she thinks it looks ugly. The amount of whiplash these stories have. In the vegan getting leather from her mom story. The OP was not wrong to refuse to accept that gift in public.

[@sylviajones6745]

​@@WadeAlma, I don't give a damn if it's her birthday, you shouldn't be an asshole, and say something like that. Evidently she's a snob, and she doesn't like her step son. Period 🩸

[@WolfODonnelfan]

@@WadeAlma Yes, it's HER birthday celebratio0n so SHE can arrange it. She also lied to OP about it not being embarrasing of a gift because she didn't want others to see it. If you don't want others to see it, then she does find it embarrasing. Why does OP 'have to' do anything for a woman that neither respects him or his son. Why does he have to respect her if she doesn't respect him. Respect is usually a two-way street.

[@WadeAlma]

@@WolfODonnelfan It never said she didn’t respect him. It said she was embarrassed of the gift. She didn’t insult the son to his face or anything.

[@ladycobra3]

100% agree with Mark as far as I am so tired of people saying "that's just how he/she is". My sister was and still is late for everything. She has left me waiting on her for hours not minutes, food getting cold because we waited on her for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. My mother passed away and her kids were suppose to meet and clean out her apt. My sister finally arrived as we were all getting ready to leave because we had already finished the work. She was so bad that she would write her employees up for being late for work while she was always late.It got so bad that I finally stopped waiting on her at resturants and we would go ahead and eat and when she would finally arrive she would find that we were no where to be found. We even started backing the time up so that she would be closer to being on time, that worked for awhile until she caught on. My BIL made excuses for her saying that is just the way she is. I told him NO, it shows she has a disrespect for other people's time and feelings. We don't make plans with her anymore and are pretty much LC.

[@khaleesireyna731]

My aunt would excuse and enable my father's abusive behavior by saying "Well, that's just how Scottie is" (don't care if my abuser's nickname that he hates is here).... I've always wished I clapped back with my now go-to response to that: well if "how he is" is an abusive pos, then *he's a piece of shit*.

[@amberarchbold3666]

I was told "that's just how she is" about my abusive mil, yeah.. nope. She can abuse you guys, but I won't tolerate that nonsense

[@poohbear4515]

Clair and parents are pure doormats. Do you really wanna be married to someone who will never stick up for you or future kids, and a family of spineless people all because they don’t wanna cause drama? That’s how you create entitlement because you never stand up for yourself and tell them to shut up. I’d think hard on this awful relationship with someone who doesn’t have a backbone.

[@vanzy01]

Clair is the result of crappy parenting. She wants her little sister and op to suffer too.

[@Zurround]

When behavior is off the charts inappropriate and one accepts that behavior even if its in a passive way and not outright encouraging it that means SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THEM. Accepting and excusing totally sick and inappropriate behavior is a sickness in itself.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Not doormats, enablers. They're fine with it at the expense of the children being attacked/sexualized. Hope OP dumps her ass and she gets to explain that there's no wedding because she would've rather kept the peace with creepy auntie Janice than stand up for her sister. 🤮🤮

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Spineless? Yes. Doormats? No. Doormats only roll over and submit for everyone, usually at their own expense. No. They're enablers. They're constantly allowing Vile Janice to hurt people, especially poor Hannah. Shame on them!

[@maurer3d]

Story 3: NTA, you are allowed to have your own personal space, and it is perfectly normal to react when that space is violated. Ditch the fiancee, he sounds like a real toolbag.

[@TonySamedi]

Story 1: Hey, you know the best way to avoid drama? Don't let dramatic people stay in your life. If one person keeps on making drama, just cut them out. Yeah they'll probably make some dying flail of drama, but once you've weathered that storm, you never have to deal with them again.

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: “let’s just invite her or it’ll cause more drama” DRAMA ENSUED FROM INVITING THE DRAMA STARTER. The only way Claire will wake up is when OP dumps her.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

Probably not. She'll just keep pretending that it's everyone elses fault for not being tough enough to handle her crazy family member and not her complete lack of moral integrity when it comes to said family member.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I don't think so. Claire will just make OP her new scapegoat. IE. Accuse OP of being a drama llama and pot stirrer.

[@rivertam7827]

Omg if my step child made a gift like that for me I'd cry with joy and show it off to the entire restaurant

[@LadyPii]

My 9yo daughter goes to art school. She made me a glazed ceramic flower vase for a christmas present. I think that's the most precious thing in my house. The stepmom is totally ungrateful.

[@WadeAlma]

​@@LadyPiiShe shouldn't have to compromise for something this small on her birthday. If she thinks it's ugly then let her accept it in private. Nobody should have to accept a gift they do not like. It would be a nice show of kindness to accept it. But in reality she'd put it in her closet somewhere and the son would be hurt that she never displays his ugly work of love. As kind as it is. It's a gift for him not her. He should of accounted for what she would like on her birthday not what he would like to give her. But if I was in her shoes I'd love a handmade gift. Ugly or not.

[@HackiePuffs]

“We don’t engage in drama” that would imply that you’re trying to stay neutral (even though silence is still taking a side) but no fiancé straight up AGREES with the disgusting things her aunt is saying about this CHILD and would actually not stick up for her own hypothetical child if it was them?! Yikes. Sometimes drama is good to let people’s true colors show. Glad OP found this out before the wedding.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Me too. OP deserves better. But it's so sad and heartbreaking that OP is the only one who is trying to defend Hannah and calling out Janice. 😢

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 3: OP is NTA and she needs to call off the wedding and kick her fiance out! This man yelled at her because she walked out after her BIL was inappropriate and the MIL started sexually harassing her. Her fiance didn't protect her and instead laughed with his cruel family at OP. OP needs to get rid of this insensitive man as he's NOT empathetic to her needs and desires. He dismisses and gaslights her. This will be her and her sons' life if she stays with this toxic man and his family.

[@eye-chan1711]

Story 1: I think I would call off the wedding at the R comment. ‘People’ like that have no place in society.

[@locustzedicus2437]

Seriously Clair straight up told op if their daughter is abused the best she'll get is a "suck it up"

[@shellchenonceau6987]

Janice is a bit of a bully, and Claire is a bit of a doormat. Glad OP wanted to protect Hannah.

[@chlyri]

Janice is far more than a bit of a bully, and Claire isn't just a doormat. She's the one who agrees with the bully but doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to take any heat. She's a shadow bully.

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 3: Probably for the best. He showed he was a prick before she wasted any money being put towards a wedding.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I don't care how ugly a gift is from your child, you accept it. As a guest I might think the gift a child made was ugly at the party, but I'd never say anything and I would think it was super sweet even if it wasn't athetically pleasing. I would absolutely cancel the party and consider if I want to stay married. So many kids on here hate their stepparent and her SS adores her and she behaves this way

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

She comes off as someone who wants a store bought gift instead of something handmade. Hope she never has any children!

[@JW-vd4il]

Yes that was HEARTBREAKING! Most people would be so over-joyed to get such an expression of love and inclusion from a step-child, and a teenager, at that! Step-Mom is clearly so shallow and emotionally-stunted, but what a way to find out.

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

I've been begging my 6 year old nephew to make me some shitty object I can display and be super proud of while he's in art class. 😅

[@Azulakayes]

My 9 year old boys draw cats that look like a pseudo-picasso abstracts that on one angle look like cats and in another look like tables but you know what...they are framed and on my hallway. I am very proud of them. I keep all the weird drawings, all the bean or penne necklaces and all the wild flowers they pick up on their way home from school for me. Those things are precious.

[@lilfairykiki122]

Story 1: he needs to leave this woman not just for not defending her sister but also telling him he gets zero say in his own wedding. Also the fact their engagement party became a family reunion is such a red flag. Seems like she and her parents arnt actually doormats as they have no problem being stubborn about what they want, they just didn’t care enough about the sister. Op is going to be miserable if he has to put up with them forever.

[@khaleesireyna731]

There's is the type of family where the feelings and safety of children take a backseat to the delicate fee fees of adults who act like overgrown bratty children. It's toxic

[@ToriBelle96]

for story 1, op should keep in mind how she might treat any future child. Hearing 'get over it' from a parent would really suck, like one moment I will never forget is wearing a tanktop to go on a walk with my brother and didn't wanna change cause summer heat and my mom just told me 'well don't come crying to me for comfort when you get -----' I love her dearly, but that moment is something burned in my mind, I lost the shirt for like 2 years and ended up throwing it out when i did find it cause it just kept reminding me of what she said

[@lucere3674]

Wow, three out of three stories in this videos that makes me hope we get an update that someone's partner learns how to treat people or the OP starts the process of separation. This was a rough round of stories.

[@khushitiwari1147]

Story 3: I come from a family where men are not supportive of their wives because it's easier or it keeps the peace. But I can tell you, you are better of single than being with an unsupportive partner, because you are already fighting alone.

[@lemarch57]

Yes, she is fighting alone and would be against the people who would be her new family. The inappropriate BIL poses a huge risk for SA, which the MIL and her husband would back the BIL. And even if that didn’t happen, these people are bullies with a mindset that they can do whatever they want to ‘toughen her up’. I do hope she walked away from them. What they would have done to her children could have ruined the kids lives.

[@imajinallthepurple]

Last story: As someone with social anxiety myself - run, OP! Speaking purely from my own personal experience here but they'll never understand and never respect your boundaries. Heck, even for people without social anxiety that'd still be a crappy comment to receive and hopefully-soon-ex-fiancé's reaction should tell you everything you need to know about how much he respects and prioritizes you (Hint: He doesn't!). You can and will do better. ❤

[@wackyiv219]

With story one, that type of family dynamic are the type to allow a family member to do something to their kids and will defend them when called out so they don't cause "drama"

[@damien678]

Me when I got physically attacked by my uncle when I was a teen girl 🙃

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Story 3: Makes me wonder if FMIL set this up ahead of time with her other son to pull off this stunt. Would make sense since she said FMIL was watching it play out like a hawk. Always making little digs at OP, so she gave herself some more ammunition to put OP on the spot to embarrass her. I just can't understand why all these MILs act this way. You would think they never want their sons to get married and be happy with a family of their own!

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

These were my thoughts. It wasn't just a joke. She manipulated that situation for her son to prey on OP. That's even worse in my opinion.

[@ScooterBond1970]

And a lot of them probably DON'T want their sons to get married and be happy. They want everything to stay exactly how it is now to maintain their own bubble of power. There's a reason the phrase "my beloved smother" is a thing. These types ain't right in the head.

[@_letstartariot]

Story 2: there is absolutely no way I would have gone out of my way to hand make a gift for my stepmother. I hated her. This woman was literally given a golden ticket, a stepson who accepted her and she spat in his face. That poor kid wants a mother and wanted to accept her. Absolutely no, that dad did not overreact. That woman needs to get her pride in check, she is a MASSIVE a-hole. Might I add, that dad is a king for standing up for his son.

[@LadyPii]

My 9yo daughter goes to art school. She made me a christmas present, a glazed ceramic flower vase. In my opinion, it's the most valuable thing in my house. It's great to have the talent to create something on your own! The stepmom is ungrateful.

[@kimbarnes9809]

@@LadyPii My son made me an amulet necklace with a stone he found at the beach in Nova Scotia. It was done with a bit of wire, a black cord and the stone. You had to tie it at the back of your neck. He was 10 at the time (mother's day gift). He is 39 now and I still have it - I have replaced the cord when it wore through but I still wear it and am PROUD to do so. My daughter did a gymnastics routine, had it video taped and at the end of her last tumble picked up the poster that said " I love you Mom - Thanks for being there" (upside down)lol. It was in VHS, I have since had it put on a DVD for me and I still show it to many people. She is 33! It is the homemade gifts that have the most love in them. Even the macaroni tin can pencil holders stayed on my work desk until all the macaroni fell off. For a SS to do this was beautiful for SM to do this was criminal.

[@spookyprizm8162]

I’m listening to that story and I feel so awful for Hannah! I can’t believe her family is saying that stuff about her :(

[@khaleesireyna731]

Literally, if I could, I'd tell Hanna to report it to a teacher or school councilor she trusts. Mandated reporters can decide if there needs to be a report on the unhinged MAGA adult sexualizing a child and saying she deserves to be assaulted... see how easily the family brushes off Janice's antics when the police and CPS get involved.

[@FunnyBunny161]

I had made my dad a beautiful wooden cutting board in class for him. He still loves it to this day and it's one of his favorite things that he uses at special parties and holidays. What an awful woman to turn down such a special gift of love and acceptance.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Completely right. I bet there are other red flags that OP hasn't noticed. I'd start looking for the exit to this marriage (and I'm not the type to drop that lightly). Better to exit now and keep your son's sanity and self-esteem.

[@recycledapathy7411]

It's gonna be really hard for Janice to be invited to a wedding "no matter what" when there's not an actual wedding to be invited to. Is she super rich and the other family members kiss her ass hoping they'll inherit it when she croaks or something? There's no valid reason to tolerate that level of bullshit.

[@bennergamer3052]

Story 1: Bro, you need to stay away from that toxic family. They're walking red flags!

[@janfick7260]

Strange how the best solution for the situation in all 3 stories would be to give the ring back/ take the ring back and tell the fiance/ spouse to f off

[@DanniSoRude]

To have a stepson that actually likes his stepmom enough to give a homemade gift that included her into his family is just the sweetest thing ever! She should be ashamed! I would have carried it around like a good luck totem!

[@Mewse1203]

STORY: OP''s fiance has a lot of nerve saying to grow a spine when the whole reason she is inviting Janice is because she literally lets everybody run over

[@khaleesireyna731]

You see, Claire doesn't think it's a problem because it isn't happening to HER. As long as Janice isn't turning her vitriol on HER it's nbd. She's not spineless, she's an enabler and that takes a whole new level of selfish ahole behavior.

[@FanFicnic]

Pre warnings are always always appreciated, Mark.

[@LaineyBug2020]

I can't wait for the break up updates on all of these! Please keep us updated!

[@AndyyWithAY]

That angry animation during story 3 took me all the way out 🤣🤣🤣 I'd gotten riled up too, but had to take a break to laugh because it just came out of nowhere

[@catandrobbyflores]

Its been a bit since we've seen it!😂

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #1: So, Claire intentionally blew up her own engagement rather than stand up to her parents on behalf of her own sister. That's not a bullet you dodged, OP. That's a cannonball.

[@zlizgirl]

She wasn't cleaning the step sons room. She was snooping.

[@iononcantomascrivo]

Listening to Mark's sweet, melodious, mellow voice while I'm working out before taking Mom out for her 75th birthday dinner.

[@Jessidafennecfox]

Happy Birthday to your Mom 🫂

[@Gumbier_Than]

Aw, Platinum Birthday!!! ❤

[@Stopthisrightnow560]

Happy birthday, internet mum!!! ❤🎉 Sending love all the way from Australia!

[@elisaostuzzi9707]

happy birthday to your mom !!

[@strandedinseattle9931]

Happy birthday, mamasita!

[@WobblesandBean]

OP 1, 2, and 3: RUN. Don't stay one more moment with these wretched people!

[@LoveableNiki]

All Stories: I don't usually do combined reactions, but.... BREAK UP!!! LEAVE! GET OUTTA THERE!

[@formershadow]

Story 1: How does OPs fiancé not see she’s letting Janice ruin her life? How does she not see the toxicity?

[@KeyClavis]

Story 1: This is how abuse flows from one generation to another. Claire was abused... and the family said "toughen up". Now Claire is seeing her sister abused in the same way and says "Grow a spine". Claire was taught that this abuse is normal and she won't defend her children if/when they're abused. She'll just say "grow a spine". OP is right to question whether she's the one.

[@alec5803]

Story 3. I felt to my heart. I crochet a lot. I do give some crochet items as gifts. The last person I gifted a queen-size crochet blanket to my uncle because he was there for me after my dad passed away. The smile on his face was so bright on that day. I gifted him that blanket. It makes me cry now that my uncle is gone. If I make you something I really love & care about you.

[@clairebear-96]

Oh story 3, with the explanation of being introverted and most people accepting it but 1 person being awful about it - that hits close to home as my boyfriend and I just had a terrible experience with his best friend over me being introverted(/autistic), I feel so bad for op already

[@margaretannfrank5480]

A gift like that would warm my heart. It would show that I was accepted into the family and how rare is that when a teenager is involved? I would be showing it to everybody, I would be so proud!

[@GeekInSequins]

Story 1: throw the whole relationship out. Story 2: throw the whole relationship out. Story 3: throw the whole relationship out.

[@miminana-hd6nf]

I want an update on that story. I want to know if OP cancelled the wedding and distanced himself from Claire, and her family. The toxicity is astounding.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: If The stepmom didn't want to make this an issue, she should have kept a tight smile and said "Thank you" to OP's son. Her deciding to turn away the son's gift, which sounds like he was accepting her, would be reason to reconsider the whole marriage. And MIL needs to sit her ass down.

[@WadeAlma]

Son should of thought about what she would like not what he would like to give her. It's her damn birthday. Let her enjoy it. This is the equivalent to making someone a birthday cake in a flavor they do not like. Son was just trying to make something nice. Husband went overboard trying to punish her for not liking a gift she found ugly. Worst part is she didn't tell the son why she didn't want it in public. Husband threw a fit over her birthday.

[@angietyndall7337]

Story 3: MIL is toxic. She is bad news... Leave, he's an enabler.

[@Tijggie82]

HOLY FLIP! The aunt said the kid 'asked be raped' and her family thinks it's no big deal???? They are NO BETTER than that aunt, completely unacceptable and unforgivable.

[@sazzaxeight3124]

The hypocrisy of telling this poor kid to "grow a spine" whilst they're too spineless to stand up to Janice is so disturbing it isn't even funny.

[@cjwilliams8350]

The Claire story: Tell Claire that Janice can come to her wedding, if she ever has one, but not to yours ... then get away from these people. The worst thing about them is that in their efforts to become flexible by including Janice in everything, they are totally inflexible; it's "my" way or no way at all. And my way is to be a willing doormat. Are you willing to be doormat to satisfy Janice?

[@msstarshine84]

The only reason I don't burst a blood vessel with rage at half of these stories is Mark's voice :)

[@g.oxford]

Story 1 I feel bad for OP. If he does back out of the wedding over this, it's going to get twisted into a story of OP being in love with his fiance's underage sister.

[@untitled-gv3qp]

I hate that you're probably right. 😮‍💨

[@damien678]

JFC... I hate that you probably aren't wrong...

[@khaleesireyna731]

Ew... that's just horrible and possible. Maybe if OP reports the abuse to a mandated reporter it isn't gonna be as easy to twist around like that, but yeah, OP should just cut his losses and run from this trashy family.

[@My9thMyJoy]

“That’s just how she is.” “Cool, this is just how I am.”

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Story 1: Huge red flags from OP's fiancé. Multipke red flags. He needs to cancel the wedding and go no contact with his ex-fiance AND her family. He needs to trust that gut. Claire is not fit to be a wife and/or a mother. Story 2: Divorce her, and RUN. Story 3: Cancel that wedding and RUN.

[@star3catcherSEQUEL]

Story 1: To quote another KZbinr: "No drama? Grow up. Drama's a part of life, and if you can't accept that, you have no business going outside."

[@untiedshoelaces2588]

Story 1: OP's friend sounds like a wise individual. They pointed out those red flags without hesitation. They were absolutely correct about the fiancee's lack of a spine when it came to family, but then her doubling down when it comes to her future husband. This is an entire red flag parade in which OP and his future children will always come second place to her family. Janice is the reason why bear mace was invented. Story 2: Stepmom definitely lived up to her name, didn't she? I wonder if she has a calendar somewhere around on which she's counting down the days until the son is off to college so the house can really be all hers? Story 3: The incident with the bil was staged by the mil in order to insult OP in public. My take on it is that she doesn't want her son getting involved with OP and is doing everything in her power to dive her away. The sons are certainly failures of men whose significant others will never know happiness whilst the mother is alive.

[@TheFlowerchild712]

My auntie instincts are going crazy with Story 1. No way in heck should he go through with the wedding. It's so wild that she won't defend her future daughters. I defend my older sisters and I'm the youngest. Hope that Hannah goes full NC when she turns 18 with the whole the disgusting family who didn't defend her against the crappy aunt, who should have been exiled from the family ages ago. What a spoiled, selfish, self-centered witch. My nibblings gave me hand drawn stuff at restaurants. I LOVED them and framed them. This woman is giving evil step mother vibes. And then she got her mom involved! So NTA. Poor kid. So fiance let his brother and mother harrass his future wife?! Girl, dump him! Who the eff let's their brother pull that crap and then defends mom's gross joke?

[@susankaempfer8427]

How much money does Janice pretend she’ll leave people in her will? Because I can’t think of ANY reason to keep letting Janice crap on people.

[@adriennewaterhouse5174]

Story 2 reminds me of that story with the picture and frame? The lady was angry it wasn't expensive enough.

[@Hogwarts_dropoutt]

Story 1: if they do get married and then have kids in the future the kids will definitely be hearing the “you need to grow a spine”, “toughen up” throughout their entire childhood. And that’s no life you should wish for your child, is it? The sad part of this is that the fiancé never really grew a spine, but she learned to suppress her emotions and that her feelings, no one’s feelings, aren’t valid when it comes to Janice and her tantrums!

[@devchekhov7512]

Story 1: we need more men like OP.

[@wessexdruid7598]

Last story - a put down, intended to belittle, is not a joke. If exFMIL was concerned about OP's lack of confidence, you don't build it by making digs in front of a large audience. It was all about laughing _at_ her, not with her.

[@whims6278]

Anyone who takes to Facebook for family drama is automatically ridiculous.

[@ashutdownmcdonalds9466]

Gonna listen to this while baking, mark has treated us good with 2 vids so close together

[@frostnovaomega1152]

"cut out the family member who is harming us? Nah, she's harming people all the time, we just gotta accept that" I hope that OP's fiance one day realises, that despite what she's been probably taught by her parents, she doesn't have to let people walk all over her, even if they are family. She's totally guilty of perpetuating that toxic dynamic, and honestly, might even become the new crazy aunt all day, cus if everybody has to put up with her aunt, then everybody has to put up with her as well, right?

[@britnicox3929]

1: I just feel so incredibly bad for Hanna. I sincerely hope that when she turns 18 she will be able to get out of this family and get as far away from them as possible. People like Janice deserve to be put into their place - it’s really disgusting that no one in this family is defending a 14 year old girl from her grown ass aunt. Also it’s good that OP reported that post to protect Hanna, someone finally is. And honestly thank God that the aunt came to this party now before they got married or had kids because he can cut out, clean break and not have to deal with marrying into a family in which his children would have to suffer being bullied by their family members while the others watched and or shoved their head in the sand 2: canceling the whole birthday is pretty shitty but I understand where he’s coming from. However as an adult you should try to explain to somebody why what they said and did is hurtful so they can learn not to shut everything down and punish them. I guess he did it in anger but it’s still not really mature. Still NTA 3: does she think shitting on someone would make their shyness better?? Also that wasn’t a joke that was just bullying. If I was her I would put the ring wherever he is and send him this Reddit post so he can see the comments roasting him in real time

[@BeardyBaldyBob]

Op needs to remember it's HIS wedding too! He simply needs to say "if she's there, I won't be"...

[@sedalionthunder6295]

Storey 2: NTA, that’s awesome your son was so sweet but she is definitely ashamed of a hand made piece. I would be honoured for this if I had a step son/daughter

[@dandymaiden]

I’d be crying with joy if I was her. It’s a beautiful gift

[@Zurround]

Shouldn't the family member in this story who feels like her relative was used to do child pornography immediately call the POLICE and have the family members that exploited her put in prison? Why won't she call the police to report it? Isn't NOT reporting a crime like child exploitation a crime in itself? Doesn't that Janice a criminal too? Plus if its porn then isn't Janice a criminal for posting child porn in the internet? Why were the police not notified?

[@victorvaldez8869]

Story One: The family says "We don't want there to be Drama so we have to invite Janice," yet Janice is GUARANTIED cause drama. Somehow the family is cool with the Drama she brings everywhere she goes. This sounds like OP would be marrying into a "bUt FaMiLy," kind of family & you KNOW you'd be the villain if you DARED to give Janice even the tiniest sip of her own medicine. OP is RIGHT to reconsider the marriage into such a family & if his fiancé can't get her head out of the fog it's best to walk away. Story Two: The stepmom could have simply done damage control by claiming she'd be worried about leaving the tree at the restaurant, instead she insults OP's son. Stepmom has just set that "Family Tree" in the fire by showing she doesn't consider him a REAL son. Story Three: It's time to throw the whole relationship out. YOU KNOW that OP's fiancé would be deeply offended if OP handed his mom even the TINYEST taste of what she routinely dishes out. RUN, run hard, run fast but just RUN from this relationship.

[@saffiegirl4158]

If Janice said that about my daughter, she’d be crapping teeth or pieces of dentures for days.

[@mwuahugz1115]

Im glad he is rethinking about the engangement but hoping he'd talk to Hanna too. Just say he's sorry about the situation and that he support her. I think that would mean a lot to her

[@platinum_noelle]

If I were OP, after that 3rd convo I'd have told Claire, "I pity Hanna and you for the misogyny you've been forced to endure and normalize, and I pity your future children for what you'll be forcing them to endure and normalize. Have Janice at your wedding all you want, but she won't me at mine." And then end the relationship, bc no way in hell would I allow my spouse to subject my children to this BS. Also, Janice calling the dance "porn" is basically calling Hanna a p*rn star, and that's so fvcked up. Adding the r*pe comment/victim blaming and I'd blow a casket. No adult deserves that kind of treatment and lack of support from their own gd family, let alone a vulnerable teen. Janice is right about one thing, Claire and Hanna have awful parents. Story 3, that woman sounds like the type to make horrendous jokes about someone at their funeral, and then get uppity when people get upset about it. He showed OP how little he thinks of and respects her, she needs to leave.

[@MetallicPetals]

Last story: That's just straight up sexual harassment, if the father in law said that, I wonder if the reaction would have been the same.

[@AZUREPHOENIX777]

Fiancé in the first post is enabling abusive behavior towards someone she's supposed to care about, OP should absolutely call off the engagement with this woman.

[@weebreads8728]

Story 1 this is how toxic people stay toxic, because everyone else protects them from consequences

[@catsncrows]

S1 I was just discussing with someone about normalizing messy behavior in families and people not understanding it's not okay because it's what happens on any given day of the week S2 well aren't we bougie woogie and precious! S3 put up with my mother's bullying 😭😡

[@feliciadixon3402]

She must be the 'family' member with the money...so they will put up with the BS hoping to get left something. Disgusting......

[@sardonically-inclined7645]

Story 2: NTA. That is some stuck up nonsense. That kid is thoughtful and deserved better than callous woman in his life.

[@kristinewatson3702]

"That's just how they are." Screw that. I'm so tired of that lame excuse. I was forced to accept abuse from my brother my entire life because thats just how he is. Yeah, he is a POS narcissist and no longer in my life. Best decision I ever made.

[@CodenameTurtle]

Story 2 breaks my heart. It's such an emotional, lovely gift that's full of love and acceptance. I would be so happy and proud to get this from a stepson, no matter where I was. It's like we're finally connected as a family. What a vile reaction towards a child over such an empty reason.

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #3: BF: Lighten up. My crass, classless bully mom is "just like that." OP, you just saw this guy's true face and it's the kind you would expect from the Mommy's Boy of a bully. He will never, ever put you first. Run. You deserve better.

[@davemarsteller8377]

I worked long and hard to learn to like myself. People who behave like Janice are a requirement in my professional life, it won't be in my personal life.