Steven Seagal Plays With Swords! - LawMan - Redeye Reviews

Starring: Steven Seagal, a bunch of real people, some criminals
Writers: Real Life, The Streets
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[@gafrers]

This series is so bad and stupid that shocked Redeye into unlocking past memories/traumas. 🤣🤣

[@Cwibacca]

Why do I feel like when they were on that stake out, Steven misheard and was disappointed when he found out they weren't going out for steak?

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Just imagine the train-wreck of a 24/7 Steven Seagal reality show …

[@SuperZippyzippy]

Seagal is like a kid who wanted to be a samurai when he grew up but never grew up

[@cmiller0987]

In his own mind he still is. Also in his own mind is that he never seemed to realize that the Samurai have been out of power since the 1600s

[@JoeR203]

He looked pretty clumsy swinging the sword at the bamboo. Looked like he was trying to not get too close to it. Seagal fears bamboo.

[@TroubleToby3040]

I volunteered at a zoo when I was a kid too. I spent most of the time encouraging the animals to mate with each other. They didn't ask (or want) me to do that. That's why I say it was volunteer work.

[@dududu5189]

Care to explain the strange hairless baby in the Orangutan cage 9 months after you got let go???

[@b-8437]

@@dududu5189 🤣😭😭

[@TheDJEnrique]

how do you encourage the animals to mate ? wine and Barry White ?

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

I love how Seagal pulls out a wad of cash and only gives the guy $20.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

@The Crazy Amateur Runner then went to Burger King to buy 5 whoppers.

[@cmiller0987]

Steven Seagal plays with actual katanas, and I'm left wondering what the hell this has to do with actual police work

[@BatCaveOz]

The half Asian looking dude with the moustache during the Samurai sword sequences is Mike Yamasaki... who is the Katana Expert on Pawn Stars. (I don't know if this gives him more credibility or less credibility... but it is a thing)

[@BatCaveOz]

On 4 minutes of reflection... I reckon this gives Yamasaki more cred and Seagal less cred, as they had to fly an *actual* sword expert into Louisiana (Yamasaki)... because Seagal doesn't actually know what he is doing.

[@cmiller0987]

@@BatCaveOz To the surprise of absolutely no one. Funny I think Seagal claimed to be a Katana Authenticator And Expert, looks like we know how true that is now don't we?

[@reallife3338]

I thought it was illegal to impersonate a police officer 🤣🤣

[@LABOUMDECADANCE]

Yeah, but remember. Steven Seagal is Above the Law. Coming to a theater soon.

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Seagal is a 4th degree Master in Method Acting!

[@ESC70737]

Never stop these video, but the bigger mystery is where tf is Whimpers!

[@mterry4428]

Lol speaking as a retired cop I did on occasion give people money it was just easier on some of the simple stuff we got called on.

[@wheressteve]

"Once that thumb is off, you're done" Typical flawless Seagal logic.

[@k04s4]

Next episode Steven Seagal mind control stopping crime!

[@brettbrewer6091]

Seagal calls the guy he's riding with Johnny, why do I think that that's not his name and Seagal just made a name up and called him that? It seems like a totally Seagal thing to do.

[@MrNegativecreep07]

Steven really is an inspiration to people worldwide, he is proof you can make it even if you can't act, are a fake hard man and run like a girl (not that he's run anywhere since about 1996)

[@samholdsworth420]

I would love to go shooting with Steven...

[@djcease1996]

Go up to his face and call him fake.

[@edmondantes4338]

@@djcease1996 What's he gonna do, pay a stuntman to get up from the chair for him?

[@FutureChaosTV]

@@edmondantes4338 *BAMN* Nice smoking. :-)

[@FutureChaosTV]

@@djcease1996 "Oh hello, I would like to report a snowflake"

[@MsRadred6116]

‘Something very Japanese bout to happen’… Brilliant! The Red Eye always knows!! 😂🤣😂🥰

[@sterkriger2572]

Of course a blunt machete won’t cut bamboo. That’s why people in the past invented something called “sharpening”.

[@ksjazzguitaryt]

I love when they're tailing the guy and SS keeps telling the driver (a real cop) to slow down, and they almost loose him.

[@oneghost1257]

"Use your magic, fly your ass home." Fucking gold

[@MichaelMartin-qe5ye]

Please share more repressed childhood memories--you can call it "Redeye Remembers" or "Redeye Reminiscences" if you're feeling fancy.

[@RedEyeReviews]

Lol that is a wonderful idea

[@FutureChaosTV]

@@RedEyeReviews *Total Redeye* *winkwink*

[@nickieisknittingtoomuch]

Yasssssss

[@jimcrackery8321]

Yes, I second this. That zoo story comparison was hilarious!

[@righteousindignation]

Or red eye repressed

[@ksjazzguitaryt]

I have a friend who is a cop. He says the "if I make it home I'm safe" mentality is very common. Some of them probably aren't think it consciously but it's just a panic fight/flight thing. But yeah, still stupid as hell.

[@thepopemichael]

I watched a video on how much of a monster Steven Seagal was yesterday. So it's a bit of a shock, watching your video today, after watching that one. Dude was apparently a gigantic nightmare while filming the series. It ended with a quickness when he was sued for SA. Many internal investigations were had! Either which way, you're a god tier reviewer, making this series both fun and entertaining!

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Oh yes, Seagal is a legit pos.

[@tymorgan8181]

😂 I saw the same video recently I had no idea. But these videos are comedy gold

[@ashtton_tapiwa]

Link?

[@thepopemichael]

@@ashtton_tapiwa kzbin.info/www/bejne/hofIXpajfZ50fs0

[@porkfang]

Now, this show is watchable. I love this guy!!!

[@901Sherman]

Oh yeah, it’s Seagal Time

[@rokasrerroca7399]

Where I live we clear out bamboo/sugar cane and trees with nothing but a machete; if that machete had been sharpened (even a little bit) he would have cut through that thin piece of bamboo easily. He manages to insult machetes and katanas everywhere by using an unsharpened machete to NOT cut the very thing it was designed to cut and then insults the katana by using it to cut bamboo...the rolled up tatami mats are considered the standard test for katana sharpness. WTF happened to you Steven?!?

[@daviddavid2890]

I was on holiday in Cape Verde a few years ago and saw people harvesting sugar cane with machetes and they cut it like butter

[@tadpolegaming4510]

You can chop sugarcane up with a cheap kitchen knife. I've done it to suck the juice out

[@daveg-Vancouver_Island]

You, you haven’t taking seagull seriously this whole time have you? 😬😬 Well this is embarrassing, sorry to tell you, he doesn’t know $hit about $hit! Lol

[@Axolotl_Mischief]

Fun fact about the dubbing in the bokken scene...that's a 100% legit martial arts film trope, because it can be tough to get good audio from sequences like that, so most movies dub that stuff...even Bruce Lee, whose tradmark ki-yup/scream was not him, but another actor dubbed in post. #TheMoreYouKnow

[@LABOUMDECADANCE]

🌈⭐

[@philipenos2930]

11:44 That is Mike Yamasaki. He is the katana sword expert who shows up on the show Pawn Stars.

[@Humongous420]

Redeye you make my Saturday morning so much more blibdy blubbering badass with these Seagull uploads! Hope you all have a great weekend

[@CalQaida]

Your Steven mocking voice is one of my favourites. Keep it up.

[@TheRealJanetteJones]

His mocking voice very much reminds me of King Kai from DBZ 🤣

[@andymcfly]

Sounds like cartman

[@cosmokramer7396]

Lmao!! King kai..

[@kyletaylor7807]

I hate it so much

[@kingartifex]

the hayden christensen joke nearly killed me, I thought the same exact thing when I saw the show

[@marcgardner9865]

“It’s like butter baby! Can you put butter on bamboo?” Excellent line sir!

[@popo-yq5je]

"steven seagal got me dawg..uhmm..umm.." Haha...the shocked no about being arrested but spooked by steven seagal..

[@jackjames1]

This is just what i needed this morning haha

[@AlyrArkhon]

When I've seen that commercial-like thing with the katana my first thought was "oh does he sell his own brand of samurai swords?" and then I found out that yes, of course there is a "Steven Seagal Signature Katana" from cold steel and of course this is the most expensive katana from cold steel.

[@las10plagas]

I can't say this often enough. your seagal voice us just too funny :-D love your videos, with or without aikido master :)

[@carlosspeicywiener7018]

Steven Segal, the bloated blue line.

[@ynb3a9y4life]

7:13 ... " Straight in to the Throat... it's a gift 🎁!! " I'm literally Choking right now 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AbstractbyBraden]

Redeye your Seagal voice gets better and better each one you do! I can't see Steven without hearing your voice of him attached to the great big man lol.

[@MrJasonMcintyre]

6:32 Something very Japanese is about to happen 😂😂😂

[@doctorthirteen5499]

What does katana mean? "It means Japanese sword".

[@jeremybamber5729]

That teacher didn't mention that scissors exist? Pure evil, put them on the list

[@Tomix1980]

Seagal has over 40 years of experience with birthdays !!1!

[@davidfausel9029]

Another top notch video, Redeye. And I got my daily does of Officer Cartman :-)

[@rustom1981]

I'm hoping for new season but ( Steven Segal world wide police ❤️ ) ,, 🤔.. anybody notice in sword training in back the guys step back when Steven started to swing 😂💔.

[@nightshade7240]

I mean I bought the wakizashi that he "collaborated" with cold steel to produce (apparently he has the "original" in his collection.) Let's just say as someone who has trained with, collected and know a lot of actual experts in their fields when it comes to weapons, that wakizashi design is about as realistic as his martial arts effectiveness or his movie characters. His form is fucking awful, so par for the course for everything else he does. A good machete will go through tatami like butter. If his tatami mats are actually hard, he hasn't prepared them properly and he doesn't understand their purpose. Cutting a single rolled tatami mat or thin green bamboo isn't hard to do at all with a halfway decent sword. I've seen children do it. Katanas are great for what they are but there is nothing magical about them and the katana he uses here is not one made in Japan. He reminds me of a dude who told me that I had offended his honour as a warrior and gave me the address to his house to come fight him. I don't say this often but fucking weebs are the worst and seagull is the worst of the weebs.

[@lifeisa.smalllesson4607]

Great comment... What's a weeb??

[@originalzo6091]

I was going to throw myself off a cliff... then you posted

[@kino9356]

Lmfao your zoo story made me laugh so hard. A story of just being disappointed. Or getting your dreams dumped on. 💩 😂

[@LABOUMDECADANCE]

I have a confession to make, how much I ridicule Steven Seagal... I did like some of his movies when I was a teenager. There I've said it, it's a burden I carried for too long. Glad it's of my chest.

[@amancanbeavictimtoo7994]

Bro ive said it before ut your Seagal impersonations are the funniest freaking thing ive seen in years. I cant stop laughing

[@ABC-de5in]

I live to see your reviews on Steven Seagal and bad movie videos lol

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Lawman Season 3 should be Steven Seagal going … UNDERCOVER!

[@j.tgrooms]

Back to the parish we go. That anime lady is Mitsuru Kirijo from Persona 3

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

5:25 Seagal: slow down slow down slow down. 5:30 We lost him.

[@MarioSratss]

Be a Cop in Jefferson Parish is like be a volunteer in a Zoo 😂😂😂 That's amazing. Steven's dubbed fight scene with the stick and the sword are really hilarious 😅

[@junkjouster]

I love the Redeye. Whats up with Red in the title means its gonna be a banger! We got Red Letter Media, Nile Red, and now RedEye Reviews!

[@elitedeltadcgaming]

Ok so your teacher didn't have a pair of scissors? Literally IN A SCHOOL with like you know ART classes, there was nary a scissor ANYWHERE lmao classic

[@daniellehollamon8923]

That flag story brightened up my whole day

[@mikehunt3746]

I would like to see a swordfighting match between you and Steven, my money's on you winning doh👍🤣

[@SuperZippyzippy]

I played flag football with girls and then put the flag where they would accidentally grab my junk.. haha nah I never did that 🤣

[@RedEyeReviews]

Hahahaha

[@BrokenMedic]

Paramedic here. The Uber statement is true and you won’t be charged for the vomit.

[@GetLostGames1]

Steven Sega is Awesome! They need to have a cops’ show where Steven Sagan and Shaq are partners on the streets of chicago! Maybe have a few episodes where Eric Astrada is on a motorcycle behind them. Lol. Seriously though.

[@chrisandrew7577]

Another solid upload! I love the flashbacks and stories

[@Nassuklovni]

Sensei Seagal takes the part of a cop so serious, that he gives money to the homeless man like he was earning like an average cop.

[@samholdsworth420]

I loved watching the show when it was on cable. And I equally enjoy watching you roast it 🤠

[@ccso151]

Another great Seagal video brother! Love it!

[@destructoau7526]

Seagal’s posture was so bad when cutting those 3 tante mats. He we fully over balanced and lucky he didn’t trip, lol. Can I just say your Seagal voice makes me laugh so hard. Keep up the great work on analyzing the only true super hero in todays day and age.

[@marcuswalters8093]

I know nothing about sword fighting and even I noticed he looked unbalanced. That said, I was shocked he didn't look terrible during his one on one with that other guy. (Although all that cutting of the scene must have been for a reason).

[@Ermadumas]

8:58 “Today’s My Birthday” On Steven’s confused face: ‘I thought I snatched every mothafucka birthday.’

[@kylerichards2270]

Those shrines are probably in Seagal's backyard.

[@DodgerJim]

Love your videos so much! They really make my day. This Seagal is such a joke! You have so much content! And your Seagal impersonation sounds great! Sounds like a not grown up CARTMAN! Stay cool from California...

[@jasontyler2454]

I love how hes never allowed to drive

[@IAmCaligvla]

6:40 Man, Seagal really never grew out of his fedora wearing teenage phase, bet he has a mall katana collection at home.

[@trulsvian]

Nice reference to The Wild Angels, it that's what you did in the beginning.

[@pinvorhees2950]

A pawn stars expert looking at Steven seagal playing with a sword and cutting a bamboo 😂😂😂 Seagal is the expert that the expert calls after leaving rick's pawn shop

[@AClassOldie]

Is the background music during the helicopter chase The Powerpuff Girls theme song?

[@lifeisa.smalllesson4607]

Seagul has turned his entire life into one big cos play!!😂😅😮😢😢😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@megatronjenkins2473]

Love your videos, RedEye! I forget what brought you to my mighty Decepticon Army's attention, but like So Bad It's Good, probably Sifu Seagull 🤣🤣🤣I'll seeya next time!!!

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

During Steven Seagal’s time as Deputy Sheriff, Jefferson Parish’s crime rate has decreased by more than 400%

[@ceefusjenkins2281]

I knew a guy in highschool that would buy swords at the flea market and do demonstrations like this in his yard on trees or would hang a tire on a rope. He also walked around the halls doing karate moves while making karate "noises". I think he's a mailman now.

[@BW-nd5uc]

I was thinking of becoming a cop, then I started watching this, think I’ll become a fireman instead

[@jasonholt1853]

Thanks for the walk down memory lane. Good to know pieces of the origin story.

[@215sinakia7]

Mad I just came across these videos I def subbed lol

[@Mattastrophic1]

"That's the entire profit of China Salesman" 😄 🤣

[@germantoenglish898]

"Sam-moor-eye" lol

[@Mkpryor12]

Oh now I want you to review I Spy I freakin love that movie Eddie had me rolling.

[@frankcolumbo4481]

Just got my Redeye Reviews fix for the week, please keep `em comin` so I dont get withdrawal symptoms!! I live in Japan, and there is no temple or shrine here like that shown in the video during Seagul's Bullshido demonstration, looks more Thai to me.

[@ZXChrisR14]

He only gave that drunk $20 because he spent most of his money at the buffet.

[@LordMephilis]

You know someone knows what they are talking about when they say "Samurai Sword" Rather than Katana.

[@lostvagabond365]

love the fake sword & "ayyee" sound fx

[@Patrick-ud3vu]

Instead of a gun, they should have let Steven use his sword.

[@BlackMetal_Goat]

Your Steven Segal impression always make me laugh

[@tylerlacor8116]

It’s probably a Nepalese Buddhist shrine, looks just like one I went to in Mexico.

[@cannabiscovepnw]

Half a season to go before i catch this one *pushes pause* 🤣💨👍

[@trfghvtt680]

Steven Seagal is basically Dwight Schrute.

[@MartinRodriguez-oi5qq]

I can’t afford to give you a 20. That’s my entire profit from China Salesman 🤣🤣🤣

[@miserychord11]

“Gimme that money back!’ Hahahahahahaha!

[@barryprince3249]

I love how Steven had to stop pretending to be a cop because of the sexual assault allegations.....

[@chrisandrew7577]

Developers will make a proper walk speed just in time for publishers to put a price on it

[@twisted6671]

Imagine tripping out on mushrooms and seagull turns up !

[@skullyskaric7779]

6:14 well atelast it's good to see him again as skywalker again. that's one thing.

[@paulmajano]

Seagal you’re not a samurai, your daughter may be one, but not you man.

[@chrisandrew7577]

I'm so early I think Seagal should arrest me