Refused To Invite Evil Stepmom Who Bullied Me For Years To My Wedding, So Dad...

[@darklordsatan4383]

The dad really just admitted to knowingly and purposely gaslighting, manipulating, emotionally abusing, and allowing his child to be bullied to make life easier for himself. Jesus Christ. And he's clearly proud of it, as he is making it clear he doesn't think there's anything wrong with that, and that he won't apologize for it. He is a narcissistic monster.

[@nick-brothwood]

Yes he's a douchebag.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@shawn9228]

What a spineless man, the dad is, I knew he was just giving empty promises and nothing more. (My dang cat nuzzled my phone as I typed lol)

[@rebekah.2187]

Many of these stories have a parent like that. Either the mom doesn't want to lose the financial support of the horrible stepdad, or the dad doesn't want to lose his new bedroom playmate. This dad just said the quiet part out loud.

[@HardcorePuckhead]

He's a pathetic simp. Plain and simple. Even the BFs who fall for the villainess in Lifetime movies aren't this pathetic

[@thejadewizard6178]

Seen this one before but... I hate it when a parent figure chooses P or D over their child's wellbeing. The second that so called 'dad' explained that he let OP suffer just so he wouldn't have to deal with the risk of losing stepmonster I would've told him to GTFO immediately. That is SO selfish I can't even explain.

[@DylJ]

right?! I was so angry OP put up with that

[@zombinosh]

My grandmother said a child should never have a step parent.

[@lya9677]

Her ''dad/father/sperm donor, sounds like someone who enjoyed having women fight over him, so it showed how important he was to others, how great of a presence he is etc.. I bet he comes around again, telling her, he wants to talk/hash things out/ try to explain I'd have shut the door in his face long ago Did not grow up with my dad technically, but he is the best dad/ grandpa ever.. so much so that my friends calls him dad too

[@OTDinosaurScrubs]

Agreed, what a pathetic excuse for a ‘father’ and a waste of a man

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

​@@zombinoshagreed

[@tomascaro5224]

Imagine making your kid so insecure that they're afraid of being cut off by their OWN FATHER

[@failingartist3524]

Yeah n don't forget she still and will forever care about him

[@aprilchow-chee5281]

I WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT A PARENT LIKE THAT. F HIM​@@failingartist3524

[@rogueknight5984]

@@failingartist3524 Doormat

[@GeauxAssassin]

why marry someone with kids if you hate kids?! make it make sense

[@zombinosh]

I think they hope that another relative will take the kid.

[@Moody_Bun]

​​​​@@zombinosh nahh that's just bizarre for them to expect their partner to give their child to someone else just bc they're going to get remarried 💀

[@notting2640]

$$$ probably

[@azunkor422]

Because single parents are easy targets for their manipulation

[@Alex-hd9ef]

Maybe they are sadistic and enjoy hurting children

[@cheryljones8875]

I would go NC with dad. He made his choice when he allowed his wife to bully you as a child.

[@rogueknight5984]

OP is too much of a doomat

[@fatoumatadanso1516]

To be honest, the father never wanted to be a father after the remarriage . She should’ve spoken up to her mother because they would’ve save a lot of mental and emotional abuse that the father and stepmother was doing.

[@yourlocalstraycat1835]

Being hurt in that sense can be a hard thing for kids to talk about because they don't want to get into trouble.

[@fatoumatadanso1516]

@@yourlocalstraycat1835 yup but staying and taking that level of abuse can lead to long mental and emotional issues for her. But totally understandable at that young age

[@zjj2541]

But Op said that she wanted to have a relationship with her dad still

[@fatoumatadanso1516]

@@zjj2541 she can still have a relationship with supervise visitation

[@Mehhh_was_here]

​@@zjj2541 yea like why?.....why are people so weak.....

[@Permenantlyexhaustedghost115]

The father is pathetic and frankly loved Jan more than his own child. His talk of “loving his daughter and Jan” are cheap as dirt. Ironically he did wind up losing Op and he has nobody to blame but himself.

[@penguinpingu3807]

Perfectly encapsulate your talking point. Cheap as dirt, he says this to soften the blow.

[@DarkEinherjar]

Classic stepmonster behavior, hating the kid from the spouse's previous relationship because it's an eternal reminder that another spouse came first... I don't even know why OP invited the father in the first place. Any parent of mine who chooses their new spouse over their children is d--d to me.

[@Arcane_Route_66]

What always gets me about that is how malicious and self-important people get over the concept of beinf step parents, and how they go out of their way to exclude the child. If you can't stand the idea of your partner having been married before and having a kid from that relationship, then don't freaking bother staying with them! There's no need to be downright evil to a kid their whole life.

[@shortangel333]

You just know theres going to be an update in a year or two where the father gets mad at OP for not saying shes had kids.

[@C.G.Gaster]

Oh most definitely

[@A.M.142]

For sure, and demanding to have a relationship with the grandkids. Of course, also wanting them to call StepMonster "Grandma".

[@rebekah.2187]

Or the update where something happens to Jan and the dad suddenly need OP back in his life.

[@__________5963]

"He has disappointed me so many times that I have gotten used to it". If my child said that then I'm a failure as a parent

[@Thaddius0]

she isnt 2nd priority in his life... she not even a priority at all

[@YouTubeChannel-ru8ed]

Bro only came over to express how not sorry he is 😂😂 He essentially said “yea I did this bad thing but can you let it go and just be docile like you used to be”

[@arthaiser]

Looking forward to seeing the father trying to reconnect or looking for help in his old age only for op to go like "looks like te consecuences of your actions are here finally eh?"

[@gcarr1089]

Looks like stepmonster found out dad had been in touch with OP, so to stop dad being in contact, decided to move him far away. She will make sure dad never contacts OP ever again. It will be when stepmonster leaves him for someone else or he is on his death bed he will realize how much he has lost in giving up on OP.😢

[@C.G.Gaster]

I mean, sh*t happens. He will get whats coming to him

[@learhaynes1002]

​@@C.G.Gasterfacts

[@magicjewel96]

That pathetic excuse for a Dad only came to you to see if he could convince you to be a little doormat again. He wants his kid in his life so he can have someone to depend on when Jan sucks him dry and splits. Now that you've decided not to take it anymore, he's stuck in a new town with her ALL ALONE. And he knows it. Jan gonna own him and he'll have nobody to redirect her anger on.

[@yeyosilver7067]

I really don't understand how people who don't like children choose to marry people with children. It seems their goal really is to be as diabolical as possible

[@BrightElk]

When people start pushing into their 30’s and 40’s and they are still dating the dating pool gets smaller and smaller and the single people start to get roughly divided into two classes. A. Divorced people who are capable of a long term relationship but have a 95% chance of having kids from a prior relationship. B. Walking red flags who are still single for a very good reason. So when you get divorced beyond your 30’s some people start accepting things that they normally wouldn’t be okay with or ignoring stuff that really should be a deal breaker because they get frustrated ab’s fear they will be alone forever especially if they are like Jane who fall into class B.

[@the83rdtrombonist60]

I am a father myself. That being said, MY CHILDREN OWE ME NOTHING! They didnt ask to be here. Everything I've done for them is what I'm supposed to do. Even if i had the money to buy them Bugattis, it's what I'm supposed to do. A good parent is suppose to do right by their children in all things and they are not deserving 5o be "paud back" like they owe their parents for being a parent.

[@masterofThardus]

The dad was right about one thing, though: OP needs therapy if she's willing to still try and keep in touch with her dad after everything and he's the one who cuts her off instead.

[@killercomedytv]

Man that John guy, she was such a piece of work 😂 jk jk. Edit: The father makes me ashamed to be a man, second hand embarrassment.

[@artemislove2941]

nah it genuinely makes me thankful i have a supportive dad and a good stepmom

[@C.G.Gaster]

​@artemislove2941 makes me happy my dad stepped up to care for me. He's not my bio father, but he's my dad

[@nemesis676reaper]

The father is just a bloody coward so much that I don’t think he should call himself as a man

[@thousandyardgavri2785]

I wouldve told the dad how he's gonna die alone

[@alyzu4755]

Story 1: Dude is an absolute failure as a father and as a human being. I hope OP sees her own worth and dumps him (and everyone defending him) out of her life.

[@επιθετικόακτινιδιο]

OP should have cut of her father a long time ago. He admitted he was a pos that preferred to be on good terms,with his wife, rather his daughter because that was convinient and easy. Such a POS. Op shouldn't have kept trying to reach him😢

[@666venus]

This is so hurtful. It hurts so deep. Emotional neglect from a parental figure is truly terrible and hurts so deep.

[@snidecommenter7117]

When her father's side of the family contacted her to tell her they were incredibly disappointed in her, she should have clapped back with, "I'm incredibly disappointed in you for refusing to see what they are." Throw their own schitt words back in their face. Parrot them.

[@cyndirankin]

I have been in 2 long term relationships, both men had children from previous relationships. I was absolutely the step-parent that fought to put all kids ahead of the adults. My youngest step-son still calls me mom and checks on me ( his bio mom passed)

[@gotenblack2542]

lol there is a par there it switch's form Jan to john idk why they made me laugh so much

[@smokinggnu6584]

And then the parts where January was the villan. I mean, i get the sentiment, but really?

[@faizaatchha]

It also switches to January 😂

[@luvsavengedsevenfold]

@@faizaatchha Considering that, in certain parts of the northern hemisphere, January tends to be about the coldest month of the year - which matches her character description perfectly. So, assuming that this story doesn't take place in Australia or New Zealand, I wouldn't be surprised if there were times when OP thought that of her.

[@thegrimgripper8416]

That took a turn hearing john instead of Jan I'm like wth is john

[@ten5h1]

OP’s dad is going to be a sad and lonely old man when he learns of grandchildren he will NEVER meet due to him thinking with his nether regions.

[@fangirl79960]

Tbh OP is a doormat and call me heartless but not only the dad but OP both are absolute cowards .

[@poohbear4515]

Just wait. The spineless coward and/or abusive b- will come crawling back begging for money, or he would crawl back saying how abusive b- took everything from him and spent all his money.

[@Jared_H88]

Sucks, dad was a massive simp.

[@darkzombiequeen4270]

I've seen other stories on reddit like this one. If OP ever has kids, her dad and stepmother will probably come crawling back so they can try to play the grandparent's card

[@RagnarokAvatar]

OP's dad is a coward, he refused to defend his own daughter because he didn't want to lose both of them.

[@LD-bj4xc]

That’s why if your coparenting you need to inquire about how your kids being treated at the other place,op would have had a much more fulfilling life if there mum knew and got full custody

[@jonghwabiased8671]

OP is a doormat for letting her father and stepmonster step all over her. If my father disappointed me time and time again, then he doesn't deserve me.

[@lyra6695]

You know he is like that now that you are “a grown women” but still “expect or hoping” that he’ll reach out? No honey he won’t, he didn’t do it while you are still a child and he won’t do it now that you are older

[@daniellemitchell3118]

Sounds a little l I ke victim blaming. She figured it out. Now, she is giving her energy to the people who cares about her.

[@aly9830]

Step mother is narcissist and dad is an enabler the classic codependent toxic relationship

[@naptime1900]

She wanted to screw up the wedding!

[@jessicathompson236]

Ask them if they invited their bully to their weddings or if they would.

[@namelessnightingale8991]

You know, personally my response to the father saying "i did this to keep a relationship with both of you" would have been too say something to the effect of "you not doing anything pushed me away from you, so in doing that you failed and no longer have a relationship with me because you actively chose to let your wife walk all over me for years while making me think it was my fault."

[@Damychad]

To the father: SHAME ON YOU🔔! SHAAAAAME ON YOUUUUU🔔!

[@rebeccaconlon9743]

The issue with divorce and children, they disappointed their spouse enough to leave, what makes the child think they will be better for them? They broke a relationship based on love and trust... you think they will be capable of love and trust again? They will cling onto which ever toxic person who will tell them that they are the only one who will love them etc, while pushing and straining their victims relationship with kids. And sadly, because of this, they will always take the side of the abusive step... from steps graping their daughters, to steps beating their children... etc

[@Skyler-yw3od]

I hate that OP still cares about her dad. He doesn't deserve that. If it were me, I'd have already been cursing him out and cursed out Jan in the worst ways possible before going completely NC. Anyone who takes their side would be given a simple "Okay, cool. Now fuck off" before being blocked from all availanle platforms.

[@ignacioriosjr603]

What a coward of a father. He makes me vomit.

[@respecttheweirdness.2144]

Why do people think that, that ultimatum works??? 💀💀💀💀 "Accept this bad person in your life who made your life suck or I'll stop talking to you and further burn the decrepit bridge between us" Op: okay *gets rid of both toxic people* Parent/ post's antagonist: *surprised pikachu face*

[@ItsSimplyZoe]

He chose himself at every turn. What a loser.

[@CBNM1]

I would unvited those people aswell 😂 Op is very weak that's crazy

[@yourlocalstraycat1835]

Yeah, but shes not weak for standing up for herself but she needs ato grow a spine

[@Kaziglu1]

Jan became John.

[@AskCorey]

I would unvited those people aswell

[@ItsReidgd]

congrats to the dad for winning a ticket to a retirement home

[@mellytempest]

Jesus Christ this OP is a doormat. The way they kept rolling over for the dad and kept expecting him to be not a shitheel is amazing.

[@56karenandjim]

Jan didn’t want to share dad’s money when he died

[@KINGtriller]

Hopefully she cheats on him bad and he is left alone

[@artemislove2941]

i’m so thankful for my dad when i read stories like these that he always chose me over his partner

[@christophervokey6611]

People like that father really scares me as I see myself being a dad and husband in the future but he really makes it seem like he didn’t have a choice in doing good, when he obviously did have one, so he scares me

[@tomascamilotorresmedinaguz5871]

That dad is a monster, he consciously gaslighted op and admitted it to her like if it's nothing important. What ops step mother did was disgusting, but the fact that ops dad, her own blood manipulated her just to keep a sort of piece and still claims that he loves her is just somehow worse.

[@luvsavengedsevenfold]

At least, should OP and Caleb ever decide to have children, the children will have a loving grandma (OP's mother) in their lives - provided nothing should happen to her until then. And nothing about Caleb's parents (OP's in-laws) were ever said, but maybe they'll be present at well. So the closest the children might ever come to having a maternal grandpa in their lives would be if OP's mother (she, at least, seemed to be a decent parent) ever decided to remarry.

[@tabibble8412]

Real apologies rarely include the words "I'm sorry"

[@aquafebiblue93]

I can't wait for a future update on this where there're grandchildren involved

[@UrlocalmikAa]

NTA, your wedding, you’re special day. You’re dad had no right to say to invite your monster of a step mom. Only you have full control over who you invite and don’t invite, your dad doesn’t. Just because you’re step mother wasn’t invited to the wedding doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. Like I said before, it’s you’re wedding and you’re special day.

[@Sienna6164]

Honestly, I think that the dad just dosen’t like OP

[@_juju_jojo_]

How you can love someone torments a child is beyond me. And not just any child, your own flesh and blood.

[@r.f.1239]

This is the most relatable reddit story I've ever come across. I've been mentally abused by my stepmom during my childhood and my dad either took her side or didn't want any part in it. Then when I was 17 and she picked another fight with me, my dad kicked me out and my real mom took me in (I suspect my stepmom gave him the idea). Now I have PTSD from my childhood and I want nothing to do with then. But I'm WAY happier without them bc of my mom, the rest of my family, and my amazing bf. When we get married, I'm not inviting either of those narcissists. 👍👍👍

[@fairycore4619]

i think that OP should cut off contact with father completely. i mean, he clearly showed his priority was Jan, and even realized what she put OP through, yet decided to be like “but i wanted both of you!” there’s no point of hoping for the father to change his mind when it’s clear that jan will always be his top priority.

[@GenGamesUniverse]

First thing I would do is look at the guest list and if ANY family member who told me I was "ungrateful" or that they were "disappointed" in me would be stricken from the list for good

[@amyrussell860]

Many times, as kids, we want a relationship with our parents, plus their love and approval NO MATTER WHAT. We often don't realize this until well into adulthood. Not all of us have the strength to face the person staring back at us from the mirror, and deal with it. As I've learned, the only way out is through it. And through it is painful. OP is NOT wrong to make the decision she did and stick to it.

[@damaijin]

If Dad told me he wasn't coming, I'd be like, "Just make sure you RSVP. That's what they're for."

[@lakeluv195]

WHY TF does family feel the need to interfere in this?! Shame on them

[@goldensentinel7715]

Five bucks says Jan will leave the dad once something happens to him or she finds another man, so he'll come crawling back to OP. I only hope OP doesn't accept him back when that happens.

[@boltb2237]

This is another example of only you can stick up for your self

[@juliekeast6175]

OP's dad is a spineless coward.

[@Olimar92]

The only response I would have had for Jan would be "You proved to me for years you didn't like me. What makes you think you're entitled to come to my Wedding? You don't want to be around me, and I would rather you never come within 1,000ft of me."

[@grimmlord4211]

Damn OP's dad and stepmom made my crappie step father look like a decent human and he threatened to beat more than once

[@AlE-kc7yw]

She should have sent her dad an envelope that says two tickets on the outside. Inside should be tickets to the movies for the day of the wedding, and say have fun!

[@myeternalteardrop]

Dude can't even fight the battle to stay in his daughter's life. He has to have his family do it for him. Jello would make a sturdier spine that whatever his is made out of! Edit: Exactly how was he successful in shirking his responsibilities when it's pretty much cost him his relationship with his daughter, the thing that doing this was supposed to prevent?

[@georgewashington4866]

Sounds like the stepmom hates kids and as soon as OP graduated college, stepmom pressured the dad into moving to the suburbs and he isn't allowed to tell his daughter where they live or it would be divorce

[@digitalmatrix01]

Imagine having grandkids around that monster

[@ri.b.8700]

OP's Dad is an absolute failure as a parent and she's better off without him.

[@Larchkty0324]

I don't get how these people marry someone who clearly hates their kid and then just stays like it's no big deal. I'd never allow someone who didn't life my kids in my life, it's a package deal. Anything else is not just selfish, it's a form of abuse.

[@jonyprepperisrael60]

"Meet him a few months ago" "Highschool sweetheart"

[@Russianspyyyy]

Love how op calls their step mom January 😂

[@atl7368]

He’s gonna be asking why he can’t see his grandkids

[@grahamjudge7852]

just wait till op has kids and then dad and stepwitch will come crawling out of the woodwork claiming they have the right to be grandparents

[@foureyedelf6151]

Witches always have their flying monkeys.

[@Justthislazy21]

You know that they’ll demand to be part of the grandkids lives. I hope OP tells them where they can shove it when they come knocking looking to play grandparent.

[@zachmedlin2608]

OP’s dad is king of the simps.

[@ayushkumar-gk1zj]

Dad was the worst person in this story.

[@sakshamsharma7493]

Jan, January, John how many wives does this guy have

[@Radowid_V_Srogi]

I would love to see next part where Jan leaves him and he would lke to reach out to his dauther but she ignores him so he lose his wife and his dauther

[@matheusmendes5488]

I think the father actually tried a bit with that visit but his wife probably discovered and pressured him to cut contact and he is too much of a coward to say no

[@davidmauriciogutierrezespi5244]

OP's dad is either a narcisist or a just petty and wanting to hurt his daughter to hurt her wife. OP took too long to cut him off but better late than never. I think kids in that situation should be as confrontational and antagonistic as they can, tell the other parent and drag both of them to court. Not to mention, dad's family is just using her as a scapregoat because, I bet, OP's mom divorce him and they were hurt in their petty little egos

[@BenTheBeginner]

You should really do an analogy to ur fathers side of family like when ur aunts or uncles who have wifes and children say “what if your wife/husband cheated on you would you still be in their lives because they made ur children” hehe that would be epic

[@Arcane_Route_66]

I sure hope that Jan does for the sperm donor what OP used to do for him, because he can forget about calling OP at any time and expecting her to be there. Of course I doubt Jan is that selfless. And given that they moved without telling OP, Jan clearly intends to keep her disassociating husband on a short leash moving forward.

[@S-we2gp]

She could also just have said you’re invited and she is not, that’s not going to change, if for that reason you feel you can’t attend then that’s your prerogative.

[@MamaMargie]

Dad abused her by proxy

[@Panwere36]

The stepmom is Cruella DeVill.

[@Puʻuwai]

Uninvite anyone who agrees with stepmom and dad

[@pikash2dinor]

Jan can’t have kids so she made op’s life miserable.

[@kennycai8695]

Since it's an AITA story: NTA, and post-updates, those two really deserve each other. Man, the kind of man OP's father is, smacking him on the noggin is not even worth it. He just stood aside as the stepmom mistreats OP to satisfy her own ego (sadly, there are people like these, look up malignant narcissism), which makes him even worse for not clamping down on her BS. Plus, him trying to manipulate OP with gaslighting, I have a hunch he lied to the rest of the family, hence why that side of OP's family gave her crap and then just cut contact altogether. The stepmom is definitely a bad person for being a malignant narcissist, but the father is even worse for being an enabler and a freaking coward by sending his flying monkeys to crap on OP over his decisions. As for my advice to OP, just do as you say by sticking to your husband and mother, since they are the ones who have your backs. Your father made his choices, you should make yours, and unfortunately, he chose to tether himself with such a malignant narcissist. Forget about him, and the best revenge against him and the stepmom is to live your best life. If the stepmom's ego really is that fragile, it won't be long before she turns her anger and spite onto that father.

[@gurglequeen433]

Reddit seems to have two ends on the step parent spectrum. 1) The step parents like Jan who tries to get rid of their partners kid by bullying them. 2) The step parent that tries to take over the role of parent regardless of the chikds wishes.

[@BrightElk]

I think step parenting is a very unnatural role and I’ve been in the receiving end as a “step-child” and I’m convinced that dating and remarriage are just a bad idea when underage kids are involved. Same thing happened with my husband and my nieces. I’ve yet to see anything good come from it.