Relationships with Enneagram 7s

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for watching and subscribing folks! This relationship series has been lengthy labor of love (pun intended) so it really means a lot to see your response both here in the comments, and through liking + subscribing 🙌

[@user-ii7bs6bb7k]

Do u got discord

[@yuntsaong-blackburn5104]

7 here also. My gosh. What strikes me the most is this validation of the feeling of deep deep loneliness, since childhood...and the denial of this feeling by constant stimulation, desires, and living in anticipation rather than being present. Also, what resonates is the constant shifting of - not core values - but interests, priorities, and the resistance to tranquility. My life has been a non stop roller coaster, and I loved the highs. Now I am learning to slow down, accept to feel the feelings, and also accept to reach out for help and acknowledge my weaknesses without always numbing or distracting myself, or running away towards my own gratification and false sense of freedom. NATURE is key, when i go hiking, diving, climbing, this perpetual seeking and wanting goes away, leaving place to PEACE. Which is what all 7s really need ❤

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing, and best wishes on the continued journey of personal growth & healing 🙏

[@meganowen2101]

Married to a 7, and it’s been a wild ride! Lived on 3 different continents and I’m sure there’s more adventure to come.

[@YouveGotaType]

Sounds about right! And what's your enneagram type?

[@MiaBroomerCurls]

I'm an intergrated type 7 but in childhood (and some days now especially in my current career) act like type 5 which i score second highest in.. As a Type 7; words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch are for me :) I definitely closed doors on people who I felt their energy etc was not positive or healthy enough to my standard or compatible to mine, that is so important to me in dating and relationships. I use to be like a people-holic with unsatiable curiosity and doing everything I wanted in my imagination and traveling but becoming a mom really helped me to slow down, mature more and focus on what I needed to do to grow.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing 🙌 and glad to hear you're enjoying the vids!

[@chicagowren]

7 here! You are correct on the love language. If I don't have someone sharing in the joy then I'm put off by them. Wet diapers don't work for me😂

[@YouveGotaType]

haha thanks for sharing!

[@RebeccaJensenRunBosco]

As a 7 I highly value quality time with my friends. I don’t actually want to just sit and chit chat much- I want to get together and DO the fun thing that makes me feel bonded to people. From my partner, I enjoy tons of cuddly or playful physical touch. Next, my materialistic tendencies benefit from gifts. Whatever obsession I’m currently on- please get me more of it! Acts of service are great if they enable me to keep doing what I want. I’d rank words of affirmation last, as I’m too confident or independent to need anyone’s validation, haha. Although I get tons from my partner, so it may be something I take for granted and wouldn’t know what to do without. So maybe it’s secretly #1.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing all that! Love that you mentioned gifts - as I feel like most people wont admit they do value them as a love language. I don't think it's always materialistic :) sometimes we just want a tangible sign/product of someone's value & appreciation for us.

[@rycroftphilostratem3536]

I totally relate lol

[@binablob]

this is one of the best enneagram channel ever, its scary bcus everything you said is veryy accurate haha! im a social 7!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks so much!

[@gameovertales]

I’m a 7, my love languages are physical touch, quality time and words of affirmation. All 3 very strong for me!

[@YouveGotaType]

A three way tie?! How very 7-esque ;)

[@helahreljac1523]

On my list most cherished is quality time infused with a lot of sexual tension and physical enjoyment.. words of affirmations as a part of general atmosphere are necessity. Presents are far less important, preferably practical in nature (example- a new lamp if I need one yet it needs to be matching with the environment and my vision, not some random lamp) as material possessions require a lot of cleaning and organising. I believe I'm quite stable 7 with both wings equally distributed and with all instincts somehow balanced, depending on situation.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing 🙌

[@brookeisloom]

yes! this resonates very much

[@jessebustos7549]

I appreciate the insight and advice you have for loving a 7. My sweetheart is a 7 and I’m a 5, and while we’re very different we challenge each other to grow a lot. Your video affirms what I know and love about him, so thank you ❤️ Would you consider a series about how each type might interact with other types, e.g. areas to learn from each other, areas of confusion, areas of strength?

[@YouveGotaType]

Love to hear it! And yes, that’s already in the queue. Just taking a long time to do all 36 type combos 😬

[@jelanidrummond7178]

I really enjoyed this video. It shocked me by showing me the many ways I’ve grown since starting my journey of understanding my type and myself. I’m a 7w6 and my top love language is quality time and words of affirmation are at the very bottom. I’ve never really cared about praise but if we can spend time hanging out or just chatting I feel very fulfilled.

[@YouveGotaType]

Good stuff, thanks for sharing!

[@BarbaraWright-g6s]

Came here as a 7 to answer your love languages question: mine are 1) quality time, 2) words of affirmation 3) Physical touch at the beginning of a relationship, and then swap 2 and 3 in an established relationship. Thanks, by the way. I definitely felt seen. I truly don’t like negative emotions: I have a mental vault, that I imagine throwing all the bad stuff into, and ceremonially locking the door. But, I’m generally not afraid of boredom. I’m never bored, because I can always imagine up something to do, or think about or plan. I’m only afraid of being bored when I am obliged to participate in someone else’s plan, that I didn’t have input in…and if the plan involves my participation for more than a few days.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing all this! And so glad to hear it makes ya feel seen 🙌

[@maryosgood9933]

Very good to include love languages as they can truly make or break relationships.

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@lady_icarus]

Woooo! Definitely see one of my best friends in this explanation! Love it! I used to take it personally when his priorities shifted, but I learned there is no malice in it and just something he is used to and working on. This video is truly helpful!!! Thanks again! 💕

[@YouveGotaType]

Glad you enjoyed it!!

[@daveveloz]

7 here. Dude you nailed this. Also, total acts of service over here!

[@YouveGotaType]

Love to hear it! And thanks for sharing the LL

[@daveveloz]

@@YouveGotaType For sure. Your video content is thorough and well communicated. Big fan, keep up the good work!

[@MajorieRoyal]

I'm a 7 social introverted so I have spent a lot of time spending this looking in the better future inside of myself and into a growth path. My goal was to find inner freedom. I wanted to be more free than what controlled me from inside. I am actually quite into talking about the things and emotions but obviously it needs to be in a sense of opening, freedom to be ourselves and mainly with a positive Outlook. Negativity, being stuck in a concept and anger is not what I like when doing that soul searching. I wonder if the childhood trauma could affect us that way as 7. I'm more about others than myself. Although, when I decide to leave I usually don't think about how other feels.. I move country. Thanks for the video

[@MajorieRoyal]

My love language is quality time and words of affirmation ahah

[@zcargirl77]

Great video! I’m a hardcore 7 and all of this resonates. I feel called out. LOL

[@YouveGotaType]

Haha that's the classic enneagram experience! (feeling called out, that is)

[@aridmcb]

Excellent! There were actually a few moments where you quoted verbatim certain phrases that routinely tumble out of my bff 7's mouth :)

[@YouveGotaType]

Glad to hear it felt so accurate!

[@alexanderbialonowicz5770]

Very helpful! I like how structural you are in your presentations and the way you deliver it !

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks much!

[@Aviebaybe]

as a 7, my love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time in that order

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing!

[@enfieldjohn101]

My relationship with my wife can kind of be summed up in one sentence like this. In fact, my wife has done so on occasion when talking with people about us. He's taught me the value of being present and still while I've taught him the value of going with the flow more often. Excellent video that sums up what it's like living with a type 7 very well.

[@YouveGotaType]

Glad it's a helpful/accurate watch!

[@MatthewEaton]

Man, this hit my negativity locations (5w4 here) and described a former friend at the same time. It also explained why we clicked so much so long ago and why I have changed and he really hasn't. Thank you for shedding some light there, I appreciate it. Who would have thought? I guess the thing is to slow down. I suppose going 101 mph instead of 100 mph is part of-- What? WHAT? Oh, okay. Fine, I'll just go 100.5 mph... Who says I can't compromise!

[@keziahjoymusic]

❤😂

[@purrmaid9056]

"The first thing you should know about me: my ego believes the world exists solely for my pleasure." That's going on my dating profile.

[@YouveGotaType]

hahaha that'll draw in some fun matches ;)

[@curtisharrington858]

Spectacular videos man!

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks so much!

I am anxiously waiting for the 4&7 relationship

[@YouveGotaType]

Coming real soon

[@spicylavender]

omg sooo right abt this 7. gemini...love languages is words of affirmation, quality time and physical touch...

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@wowreally6111]

my prefered love language as a 7 is definitely quality time. time with people fulfills me. i almost never think of or even care about giving/recieving gifts or service. in my mind, people are responsible for their own lives. no one owes anyone anything. however, i try to do more of these so i become more well-rounded.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing! Definitely sounds like a strong social instinct then.

[@KathrineMarie4]

I think I am the counter phobic social 7. And I have sacrificed a lot in my life. I went down stress few months ago as a social worker and when I am in relationships I a have focused to much of my partner needs and not my own. I still have a lot of the characteristics of a 7, but also of a 2. It can be difficult for me to know what advice to take around being a 7. I think it is overlooked how much sacrifices the social 7 can do. Just like the social 9 is not lazy, but can be a workaholic and the sexual 6 can be aggressive. I hope it is okay I am so direct, and I do really enjoy your videos🙏

[@YouveGotaType]

Glad you enjoyed the videos! It's important to note however, that there is no classification of counterphobic or phobic 7s - that is a unique analysis of the type 6's core struggle with fear (phobic & counterphobic reactions). This self-analysis sounds far more like a 6 wing 7. And I did mention how social 7s can do many good things for others, but with the caveat that they consider how it will impact them/their freedom/their joy.

[@KathrineMarie4]

Sorry, I did mean countertype, not counterphobic🙈 Interesting - do you think that I sound like a 6? Because I am in doubt all the time if I have the correct type. Do you do typing sessions?

[@YouveGotaType]

@@KathrineMarie4 Oh gotchya! I'm hesitant to about confirming your type via only a few KZbin comments, but it certainly seems like you could be another type. Yep, I do typing sessions (if you want to schedule one, got to youvegotatype.com/contact and I'll follow up with you :)

[@KathrineMarie4]

Haha😄 Yeah maybe I am! I send you a message.

[@MindBodyNurseCoach]

Thank you for this great breakdown of sevens. I am a seven, and my love language is touch. Especially making love -- because it feels good, and being a seven, I like what feels good 😅

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing, and makes sense ;)

[@shannanhale910]

This is me to a tee - so fascinating! Thank you 😊

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@user-ii7bs6bb7k]

Perfered love lang is quality time. Words or affirmation has to be done so so subtly . If its open flattery it feels fake and or ill look down on you unconsiously because it comes off as a simp and it affirms my alr high self esteem. I like gift giving i could care less about getting them. I like physical touch, its pretty high up there. But dont care as much about sex itself

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing your LLs!

[@imanishimwejanviere5766]

As a 7 you are right to the point on everything. I love youuuuu

[@RaffertyMBTI]

8:34 In the MBTI, tertiary Ni as in ISFP's and ISTP's is liquid luck.

[@YouveGotaType]

I believe it's called Felix Felicis

[@RaffertyMBTI]

What is your myers briggs type? @@YouveGotaType

[@orenjidance]

I’m a 4 who aspires to be a 7, and even dated one. Just broke up with her and I’m still coming to terms with it. I’ll always respect your positive approach to life and will continue trying to date y’all 😅

[@shatoyapatrice2661]

7 here they’re all my love languages - gluttony 😂

[@YouveGotaType]

Haha thanks for sharing ;)

[@jerrysstories711]

I love the way you connect the dots in these videos. I wondered, have you come across the "Objects Relations" triads? It doesn't seem popular with Enneagram experts, and it's pretty deep in Freudian jargon. But I ask because the externalizing, impinged, and internalizing types in the heart/mind/gut triad correspond exactly to the Rejection, Attachment, and Frustration triads in Object Relations triads. What's the significance of that parallel? And thanks again for these great vids!

[@YouveGotaType]

I explore object relations in my Childhood videos without explicitly saying it. People are more familiar with "Attachment Theory" these days so lean that direction just so it's as approachable, yet grounded as possible. Russ Hudson of the enneagram institute teaches explicitly on Object Relations if you want to dive into his excellent work!

[@CreCravings]

I’m a 7 and yes words of affirmation is golden!!!

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@cassandrawong5590]

I am a 7 and this is pretty accurate, sadly as I am with a 5 who is struggling. I should say we are both in a ‘winter’ blizzard season

[@YouveGotaType]

Hmm well it's not uncommon to bond with people that are our disintegration type. Hope the winter is a good learning lesson at least - as the hard times are usually more transformational than the good times

[@meganh7872]

Touch is no. 1, Time no. 2, and Words no. 3.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing!

[@tashonntrennwhite]

My ex and mother of my child is a type 7w8. Self-preservation type 7. Her top love language was acts of service then quality time. I'm a sexual 9w8. My love languages are physical touch and then words of affirmation.

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing 🙌

[@skribbleskills]

I’m a 7 that made it all the way to the end! Haha … fav line from this one “no means no and yes means mmm maybe” … unfortunately that resonates 🤣. But I’m doin my best over here okay! (Quality time top love language FO sho)

[@YouveGotaType]

Lol love it! Thanks for sharing your LL too!

[@juliefredrick8077]

7 here - physical touch 💯

[@user-ii7bs6bb7k]

U shoudl do one on how each type is like in love or the signs they give

[@YouveGotaType]

Definitely a good topic with a super wide variety of answers for each type.

[@user-ii7bs6bb7k]

​@@YouveGotaTypedef do one for how each type works with the other. A 7 with an 8 , a 1 with a 7 , a 2 with a 9 etc

[@KathrineMarie4]

Sorry I wrote counter phobic - I meant counter type 😊

[@user-ii7bs6bb7k]

All of these were cripplingly true

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@avikorbman2691]

I’m a type 7 and my love language are words of affirmations and quality time

[@YouveGotaType]

thanks for sharing!

[@JIngram-p9h]

7- words of affirmation- most def

[@YouveGotaType]

Thanks for sharing 🙌

[@user-vu9gd8ed1h]

Ok so 7s should ditch their innate desires to explore and be adventurous to settle down and commit?

[@YouveGotaType]

Not at all what I said

[@HLTrds]

Quality “play” time!!!

[@aiyshaazula3770]

Wow sums me up perfectly

[@YouveGotaType]

Glad it was an accurate viewing experience ;)

[@saltoflip360]

Quality time!

[@Minato-up2nq]

spot on

[@YouveGotaType]

🎯

[@HumanAki]

Watching this, as a 7, is both incredibly invasive and enlightening! 🤣🤣🤣 I feel like I've been stripped down to my birthday suit in the town square for all to admire this flawed, yet handsome, caramel piece of ass! 😆 Pretty spot on analysis for me for the most part! 2-4 things where off/didn't apply to myself, including Words of Affirmation beating Quality Time and Physical Touch as the #1 Spot! BUT(T), again, the fact that I can be reduced to a nifty checklist is, honestly, kinda awesome! 😁 Thank you for doing this! P.S. The gratitude tidbit is an absolute game changer, and I'm speaking from firsthand experience! 😁

[@YouveGotaType]

hahaha well that's one of the best descriptions of the enneagram experience I've ever heard. Glad you enjoyed it - albeit a vulnerable sort of enjoyment! And thanks for sharing what does/doesn't exactly resonate.

[@meganh7872]

Amazing

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@Stoffendous]

We are the best type! :)

[@YouveGotaType]

😬

[@alloyous]

QUALITY TIME

[@YouveGotaType]

Noted!

[@LawOfOne_Elris]

[@YouveGotaType]

😎

[@HLTrds]

Omg, this describes me to a T

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@Rajbruv_8]

Yes ❤️

[@YouveGotaType]

🙌

[@yoru4087]

as a 5 I find them animals

[@anavitoriaquintaobarbosa6716]

that's a harsh intro sir! 😖

[@YouveGotaType]

Welcome to the critical nature of the enneagram ;) #harshbuttrue