Enneagram: When Good Goes Bad For Type 7

Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching
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Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.
#enneagram, EnneagramTypes, CliftonStrengthsFinder, PersonalityAssessment, self-discovery, Strengths-Based Development, Understanding Personality, Personal Growth, Enneagram Test Results, Unlock Your Potential, Mindfulness, SelfAwareness, SelfImprovement, LifeCoach, UnlockPotential, Motivation, strength, Relationships, love, soulmate, self-love, love yourself, intimacy, emotional connections, dating, communication, healthy relationships, true love, power of love, relationships, marriage, love language, love quotes, love tips, love and happiness, trust, love and relationships, love advice, unconditional love, happy, love, Myers-Briggs,

[@elysew3457]

I feel like I can listen to you talk about 7 forever. Of course that’s because I’m a 7 and this is my new “obsession” lol

[@twlahue]

Are you "Enthusiastic" about that?

[@NotCreativeForThis]

ME too! bingeing his 7 videos right now

[@humorly1]

YESS LOL agreed and yes super enthusiastic about it 😭😭

[@humorly1]

Blurr7face literally same!

[@tinalemay3418]

I'm so fortunate to have gotten into a 12 step program years ago. I have learned how to practice Gratitude and so many other skills which were unhealthy 7 behaviors. I'm so glad to now know why I had these issues throughout my adult life.

[@moveabroadcoach569]

7's are dreamers not planners. YES I 100% agree. I love coming up with new and exciting ideas but I hate sitting down to actually plan something out on paper

[@cherishtheday2223]

So more like a mental planner? Always forecasting possible adventures mentally, but not necessarily harping on the details and physically planning?

[@misstigermilk]

What I have experienced is that 7s are great at planning if it suits something fun they want to do. All of a sudden if it's for an event they're not interested in, they magically just can't. I've witnessed this many times. Great at managing all vacation and festival details short and long term, not so much on that big contract project.

[@betsybosch1970]

I'm a social 7 that teeters between wings. I LOVE writing out my plans!!!! I write business plans for small businesses. I get to dream and imagine, but I don't actually have to follow through!!! I have 4 business plans for myself right now....drives my husband crazy waiting on me to follow through with one of them.

[@lizindrajana2015]

Omg Doctor this is so true.....but 7 will feel better when they are down, they need to be dragged out from their dark room and once they feel better, they are back in full charged mode. And yes 7 doesn’t like conflict....7 needs a lot of love from people surround them....to be happy and be imaginative. 7 loves dreaming that’s why suits well with healthy 4....coz they can fly high together hahaha....

[@twlahue]

Thanks for your comments. Excellent insight.

[@happywanderer2874]

I work with a very strong 7, and I’m exhausted. The constant joking, fidgeting, talking over people, lack of care for detail, scattered 😢

[@lockedog3000]

This hit the dot. I'm ENFP type 7 subtype social. I had to learn about my weakness. Staying focus on my target and not jumping from 1 thing to another. I love beatrice chestnut work. I did a work shop. It was very eye opening. Keep up the good work.

[@twlahue]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@gracebenvenuti7176]

I’m an ENFP type 7 too!

[@ChimmyQ]

I’m the same!

[@italamachado4597]

Enfp 7w8 Sx/so hereee

[@antraveigure631]

The pain is real! 😃 🖤

[@Kyoto99952]

Hmm i expected more from this. You were too soft on us. You did mention the necessity of discipline and focus for 7s and they need to get to type 1 to get stuff done but it was too brief. I understood since few years ago, nothing gets accomplished! I'm everything but nothing at the same time. I am like Peter Pan who never wants to grow up. Im confused with the 3 type because i do feel that i actually need to accomplish all my different goals and dreams in life and want to be perceived a successful person. All fun & games these experiences but what's the end result? Nothing. I see time passes by and I'm 30 now. Feelings of guilt and anticipated regret are showing up. I fear that i will regret it if i don't become at least something. I'm not sure if I want to stay a 7 anymore. I don't like it anymore.

[@ozarkview928]

Oh right on ! My husband is a 7 8wing . I have a great life ! - most of the time , I did need to move 1,000 miles away from most of my family and as a 5 that was cruel 😅

[@catlvrzz]

I RELATE TO EVERYONE IN THE COMMENTS SO MUCH AAAAAAA 🥳🥳 IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY WTFEHDHDJS also this is my new obsession ✨ hahaha

[@JonathanDGrim]

7w6 here, appreciate the videos

[@LUCIE663]

I remember I was so confused especially in my younger days as 7 and this video explains a lot 🤣🤣

[@fernp.3827]

I am a 4 dating a 7. I can be very angry and depressed and demanding when I feel like I am not loved. Sometimes, I have this urge of taking revenge just because people don't seem to like me. Our relationship is a mess now. 7 seems to be light and fun. What are their ways of getting back at people? I don't know if they are capable to experiencing malice and rage. Are they the type that can stab people 'back or more of like those who are straightforward and just show anger. Like 9, show their anger by being ignorant and passive. How do I know that 7 are playing games or are they are just trying to evade from pain as usual? Thank you soooo much.

[@nfarmand]

I’m a typical 7. If I’m bored or depressed it is absolute hell for me. What can we do to get out of that state!? It’s SO painful

[@johancarlund2507]

I rarely comment on videos, but I must say that I really like your content! :) From a social 7 to another. Keep up the good work and please, keep your focus! :D I find these videos very helpful in my enneagram obsession

[@coconutmilch2351]

Everything about the 7 is familiar to me but I reject the idea that 7’s must be extroverted. Needing to be entertained and being easily fascinated by novelty can happen on solo adventures. I mistyped as a 5 bc I’m so introverted and love to be mentally stimulated (I feel uncomfortable when I’m not) and I was also kind of unhealthy in my interpersonal relationships. But right now I think fundamentally I’m a 7 - it’s just I don’t run to people and things per se to fulfill me. I run to abstract ideas and projects and shiny new interests. Idk y I had to rant about that on this video lol

[@ComplicatedSimplicite]

Thank you for this. I am an introvert as well and kept getting typed a 5 until I found a professional who finally typed me a 7 wing 8. We certainly can be introverted.

[@Kyoto99952]

Im both extrovert and introvert. I can be the life of the party in one weekend and then be all week by myself, usually because of something interesting i discovered.

[@rickg3191]

7w6 sx/sp here, agree with so many things said in this video, it's unreal 😂

[@zoyalu5116]

I love 7's my dad is a 7 and it's been fun.

[@vickydiakoumopoulou6387]

It s really difficult for me to decide whether I am a 2 or 7. I have an almost compulsive tendency to help others , to make them feel good for themselves, not to appear myself as a threat to their self esteem, in such a way that sometimes I overdo it and find myself " working" too hard and not being myself anymore...I hate that moments , it is as if I am sacrifice my most attractive side , or become goofy , just to make others feel better ! Of course most of the times my compulsive tendency to pump up the spirits it ' s because I can t my self feel boredom ,so I take things into my hands in order to fulfill my need to stay mentally aroused. Such as before , that has two sides as well. The positive of course....and the other that at times I connect my self confidence to whether or not other people " receive" what I am " bringing" in terms of energy. I have caught my self feeling extremely awkward when the spirits are very low.....I need to find the balance to enjoy my strengths but not let them define my moods....

[@maddymclaugh9660]

I highly relate to that… especially the part about making others feel good about themselves… I’m pretty sure I’m a 7w6 with the social subtype… I feel a huge pull towards gluttony and selfishness, but I do also know that I do want the best for other people… so I’m a bit confused too aha!!

[@jhassy415]

I’m went through the same issue, what helped me was seeing how a 2 and 7 acts when stressed. I determined that I was tritype so/so 729, but my 2 fix is strong.

[@Meg_intheclouds]

5:54 this was hilarious to me because my sister and I are both 7’s- and the whole time at this family funeral she was whispering jokes in my ear and Omg I was trying so hard not to laugh and joke back because I had my “I need to be responsible” hat on and was suppressing it sm (also my 9 fix being aware of keeping peace lol). But the person who died was also a 7 and requested for “this way to Amarillo” at the end because she always thought it would be fun to have an upbeat song at a funeral and she got the entire room dancing it was BEAUTIFUL to see. But also I rationalise internally but the 3 also helps me blend into a situation but also OMG THE CALL-OUTS here with the 7, the part I ignored was there because “it’s not who I actually am”. But also I rationalise so heavily and yes things can really be better- because as long as I don’t have to face pain it’s great and we vibe

[@twlahue]

Glad to help!

[@Meg_intheclouds]

@@twlahue the funny thing is in the most 7 was possible I made it 20 mins in before finding another video- but the fact you managed to capture my attention for that long Is an achievement 😂

[@glovergirl02]

I'm here b/c I'm a 7 and i guess this is my new current bright and shiny object ha!

[@amandabousheley3189]

Type 2, married to a 7... desperate to fix our marriage. I want to understand him better. He seems selfish and self centered and I am unfortunately full of resentment and being a martyr. I don't want to drive him away further, but he doesn't take my needs seriously.. aaaaand everything EVERYTHING is a joke. Even when I'm broken... sorry for the TMI.. thank you for your videos! I am trying to better understand him because he seems so shallow and I know there's depth.

[@twlahue]

Sorry I have not responded sooner. Yes the 7-2 marriage can be challenging at times for the reasons you mentioned. The 7 wants to move around because they're bored and the 2 feels hurt and takes it personally. The 7 is bored and the 2 thinks, "Am I not enough for you?" The 7 wants a "playmate" and the 2 wants a "soulmate." Don't give up.

[@amandabousheley3189]

@@twlahue thank you! How true the playmate/soulmate is! Your content is very meaningful!

[@rfrazar]

My boyfriend is a 7 and I was searching for something that would explain the selfishness and if that ever goes away. I’m a 4, for reference. My partner’s selfishness is pretty ingrained... he can’t seem to be able to really truly care about anyone else and he does his best, he’s a great guy, but man... I would really like to believe that he can learn to be attentive and nurturing.

[@milahwright2401]

Amanda!!! Wow, my husband is a 7 too. When you said he seems so shallow but I know there's depth.😮😮😮🔨🎯 That sounds like my husband. Dr when you said they are like playmates... 😮😮💯 I could definitely see that in my husband. What a 👀👀opener!! Wow, awesome info to understand my husband more. Thank you

[@vanthachhim]

I’m a 2 married to a 7 for 23 years. 3 kids. My husband is extremely SELFISH, self-absorbed and will barely have a conversation with me unless the topic is about something he’s interested in. When I tell him “I’m desperate to fix this & I’m emotionally neglected,” he never takes me seriously. Like you, I am full of bitter resentment and at my wits end. Divorce is my next step!

[@maddymclaugh9660]

The thumper thing made me burst out laughing 🤣

[@dvnnydrvmv3753]

I always had the dream I now live. Now I ask myself if it was all a plan?!?

[@prestondahl3442]

Dude spot on. So helpful.

[@jlittler93]

Can you be a 7W8 and swing to a 7W6 after the earth has opened up and swallowed them because of very bad choices.

[@KADRIIISOLITAIRE]

Hello doctor thanks a lot for ur interested videos. I have question, can we change our subconscious? And do the change in the subconscious change our personality and our enneagram type?

[@twlahue]

We do not change our enneagram types. as for subconscious, I can't speak to that.

[@lebenergy247]

Very helpful. Yes I annoy myself

[@helena6459]

THANK YOU🖐

[@andreaoyarce9558]

Can u do social 7 w 6? !!! That's where I am right now

[@beacode]

Thank you :)

[@TheBartostock]

Tomáš in the Unbearable Lightness of Being seems like a 7

[@ayp5177]

Yes, how do you deal with trying to keep surface-level relationships? 😂

[@ashleyching3166]

I'm glad I misperceive a 7's playfulness; I see it as way inappropriate sometimes

[@djgranville]

I thought you were a 7w8?

[@twlahue]

Sometimes I wish that I were. There is much about the 8 that I need to develop further.

[@djgranville]

@@twlahue Interesting. It has it's negatives as well (being an 8), lol. I'm extremely phobic of opening up to people and exposing my vulnerabilities. But, God is faithful and working in me to grow that, thank God, hahaha. Blessings.

[@italamachado4597]

✍️🏻✍️🏻✍️🏻✍️🏻✍️🏻

[@twlahue]

Lots of Great Info

[@rksoni2210]

❤️❤️❤️