My Mental Health Story

[@Ccasalen]

"Feeling ok is so underrated" ugh so true. There are so many times I wish I could just feel okay and normal. Thanks for this I can definitely relate and it is very brave and thoughtful of you to share for others.

[@SunnyHewitt]

I think this is the closest I've heard another person explain how I've felt my whole life. Thank you.

[@rhianhy]

+Chantel Woodward Oof this got me in the feels. I hope you are well on your journey!

[@nataliemoreno9561]

This is amazingly brave of you and you should be very proud of it. I'm sorry for the struggle you have had to endure but grateful that you are willing to share and help so many others.

[@rhianhy]

Thank you so much for that comment

[@kelseymariebell1357]

Thank you for sharing! We just studied bipolar spectrum disorders in school for social work, and had a diagnostic challenge in class with a (made up) case, and the answer was cyclothymic disorder. I have never worked with or met anyone with it, and was looking for examples online. Thank you for bravely sharing! It helps people to understand!

[@ratgirl44]

Routine! Yes! That really helps. It's something people don't really think about but it can make a big difference. Props for this video girl. *hugs*

[@rhianhy]

Thank you love! Routine is so good but so hard to grasp sometimes!

[@scasey1960]

Yes, I agree.

[@trailerparkroyalty]

I, like you, avoided this video for awhile because of the topic and being triggered. (It's not always a convenient time to have a cry. LOL) But thank you so much for sharing your story, Rhian. I admire you in so many ways and that includes the way you celebrate being beautifully imperfect. I truly do hope that you know that ALL of your videos have had a positive impact on my life. Like you said, it's the little things that can mean the most when you're struggling mentally and on more than one occasion your videos have given me that little push to do something productive or ~treat myself~ on a day I was just feeling like shit. Sometimes, just putting on makeup that day is a huge accomplishment for me and you have lit that fire more than once. And I know that I'm not the only one. So, once again, thank you for sharing your story. It is not an easy thing to do to take others with you to the dark places inside yourself but I just hope you know that it means the world to us. You're such an angel and I'm so happy to hear that you are doing well. ♡

[@rhianhy]

+Kara Belt I totally know what you mean about holding back the feels 'til its convenient... i think i do that with lots of things. Thank you so much for your kind words Kara... you definitely made me tear up. I hate that anyone has those struggles but like everyone has said, it is reassuring to know we're not alone and other people have those same struggles. I hope you treat yourself today, you deserve it!

[@SheWuLFx]

This really hit me. I've been struggling with mental health issues since I was 11 years old (I am now 21). I suffer from anxiety, depression and am currently being looked at for the possibility of bi-polar. I haven't tried medication yet but I have been trying to make lifestyle changes and I understand the how hard it can be to keep that motivation when nothing seems to change.Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggles with us I know that couldn't have been easy. Also thank you making me feel less alone in my struggles. A lot of your story sounded so similar to mine and it reminded me that I'm not the only person who has to battle mental illness everyday. I think a lot of people forget that they aren't alone or "crazy" and that's what makes people like you who are brave enough to step up and share so important!

[@katezerfoss123]

This definitely hit home for me. I have suffered from depression my whole life, but I also just lost my father-in-law to suicide due to his struggle with mental illness. He unfortunately never sought help and instead he ended his life to silence his pain. I knew him for 12 years of my life and never knew he was struggling. My husband, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law, never knew he was suffering this internal battle. Thank you for speaking so openly about your struggle and helping people to understand that seeking help does not show weakness, it shows strength. Much love!

[@rhianhy]

+Kate Zerfoss I'm so sorry you've been struggling and i can't imagine what it must've been like to lose your father in law in such a way. For as bad as the stigma is overall, i definitely think its so hard for men who are socialized to hold that stuff in and not show "weakness". An old friend has put something awesome together to try and start the conversation amongst men.. i don't know if anyone is interested - metro.co.uk/2015/11/20/barber-devastated-by-friends-suicide-is-on-a-mission-to-get-men-talking-about-their-feelings-5468914/ Thank you for the

[@Foofie2005]

You're such a lovely articulate women, I'm sure this will be helpful for many people ! Be well 🌻

[@acraftymrs]

You are so strong and brave for making this video. My mother had severe bipolar, which came severe highs and lows, it was like having 3 different mums and not knowing which one I would see each week/month/day. I truly believe like you that is a chemical imbalance in the brain and so important to manage, with medicine if necessary. My Mum was sadly convinced to stop taking hers by a church who believed in 'religious healing' and so she did, and her mood swings became so extreme after that, the sadly snaped, had enough and took her own life. It's so important people like yourself are expressing the importance of medicine and seeking help for mental illness. We need to break through the stigma

[@andreabradful]

Thank you for being transparent and talking about a kinda taboo subject. It is something that runs in our family and something that I am glad is being talked about. You are refreshing, and it's truly eye opening to see how others are feeling and that it is ok to ask for help and there is NO SHAME in any of it! Proud of you and how you are able to bring awareness. SO positive-Thank you!

[@WolfMoon]

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety ever since I was a kid and I know how hard it can be. I've never been in such a bad shape as you described for such a long period of time, though, so I can only imagine how hard these times must have been. I absolutely agree that all the well meant suggestions of others can be VERY annoying. Especially when people fail to understand that depression and anxiety are not the same as a simple bad mood. I have also filmed a video about my story, so if anyone wants to hear it, you are all welcome to stop by. I didn't want to spam the comments with links, though. My suggestion to anyone is: get help. Don't be ashamed about your situation. Trust me, you are not the only one. And medication has definitely its place in some severe cases. Rhian, thumbs up for the courage to share this with us and thank you. Sending much love!

[@kelly1573]

Thank you for making this, Rhian. I have Bipolar II, OCD Thoughts, Anxiety, PTSD, and Depression. I have wanted to watch this for a while, but needed to make sure that I could devote all of my time in one fell swoop to watching. You're so inspirational to me and have enjoyed watching your videos and insta photos. Lots of hugs from this crazy person to another!

[@rhianhy]

Thanks so much for the sweet comment Kelly! I understand sometimes you need to be emotionally ready to read/watch someones story at times. Thanks again for sharing some of your struggles and also for the hugs

[@tinyandterrible]

this was super brave of you to do -- i know that i have only recently become open about my mental health issues, after meeting a supportive spouse, as opposed to the physically and mentally abusive one i had been with since age 15 who told me that he wouldn't allow me to continue taking medication for my depression and anxiety because he did not believe that mental illness was real and that people were just 'lazy'. after leaving that relationship, which took me more than six years in total, i struggled with the strongest bout of anxiety and depression in my life, and attempted to commit suicide for the second time. when i was struggling with anxiety at the time, my visualization was to think of ways i could end it, and it soothed me. i always held that in after leaving my abusive partner, and i didn't want anyone to know how 'crazy' i was (also sorry for using the term crazy), but after i met michael (my now-husband), and he somehow got me to talk about things, he helped me to realize there is nothing wrong with me - it's just who i am & that's okay. i still very much struggle with PTSD in regard to men frightening me, doors slamming or other loud noises, my anxiety is still quite apparent, and depression is certainly always there, but i am in control - it's my life, i'm present in it, and only i can make it better. it kills me to know that there are people suffering with feeling as sad/low/scared/alone as i once did. i am always, always around for anyone who reads this and may want to talk ([e-mail] or bashaliora on instagram). you don't need to go it alone.

[@jenniferhall7183]

Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us! I thought I was alone for the longest time with my mental health issues. There is such a beautiful, caring community here on KZbin who has been open about mental health. It makes those bad days a little bit easier to cope with, having someone (even online) to relate with. Hope you're doing well xx. Mental health is a struggle and that's okay. It's okay to work at something, even your own head.

[@jenniferhall7183]

Kati Morton on KZbin has been an amazing resource for me in the past year. I highly recommend checking her out.

[@melissagandarinho1288]

+Jennifer Hall love Kati!!

[@NoLaughingOtterCosplay]

I was just diagnosed with cyclothymia and I had wondered for a few years if I fell into the bi polar spectrum since the majority of relatives on my dad side seem to either be diagnosed bi polar or have all the symptoms. Thank you for this video, it helps everyone who is just learning about themselves. I'm 32 and finally diagnosed, I have felt this way since I was 11 or 12. Videos like this didnt exist when i was younger so I am happy that you are talking about it to help others out. Thank you!!! 💗💗💗💗

[@PlantBasedBride]

Thank you so so much for sharing this, Rhian. I am struggling so much right now despite how wonderful my life is and have begun to actively search out help. This is so helpful and so so brave of you. Just inspiring. Thank you thank you thank you.

[@rhianhy]

+Plant Based Bride

[@arlinsalazar8519]

I know I'm getting to this late but I don't think people emphasize enough how important mental health is and you opening up about that really is comforting as I am someone who has struggled since I was 17 with mental illness. Thank you for being honest and considerate!

[@rhianhy]

Thank you for this

[@priscilasrv]

Thank you. I've struggled myself with anxiety and depression. I've tried a few of the same medications as you and currently have neglected my mental health. I appreciate your story and it is comforting to hear.

[@hollibaum927]

I cannot even explain how much this speaks to me. I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for the past 6 years and never looked for help. I just recently stared watching your channel but this video couldn't have come at a better time. I just told my dad yesterday about the most minimal part of my struggle and he wanted to help. My family has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, which is one of many reasons why I was scared to look for any type of help. But even knowing that one person wants to help, changes a lot. Hearing your story and what you've been through helps me want to help myself. You are so strong. thank you so much.

[@rhianhy]

+Holli baum I'm seriously SO happy to hear you reached out to someone and have been met with love. You are so strong also

[@itsorange6879]

Thankyou for sharing that. I have been very fortunate that i have not had to deal with mental health issues but i am always willing to learn. Your story truly touched me and i always say that it must feel absolutely unfair to not have control over your thoughts or feelings. I wish you much love, happiness, wellness, and continued success my dear. I hope your story touches more people and they learn from it as well.

[@rhianhy]

+Dominique Johnson Its so nice to hear even people who've never felt the same can still comprehend the weirdness of mental health! Thank you for taking the time to watch regardless of your own situation!

[@nousrnamesleftforeal]

I really feel this. I've watched a bunch of your videos but I think this is my favourite. It's really nice to relate to someone. Because a lot of the time I feel like I don't. I've struggled over the last few years, (the last year or two has been a lot of nothingness), especially with sleep/energy/anxiety - it always feels like one thing or another. It's really important for people to know that things are temporary, that things will change, because they do, all the time. Lots of love to you!

[@heathernina]

It totally felt like a couple times you were talking right to me. I can so relate. I mostly have anxiety and panic attacks. I'm glad you brought up how ppl say "why don't you just go for a run"....I know they just don't understand but it bothers me a lot and also how the word "panic attack" is thrown around so carelessly. Thank you for being so real and so vulnerable. People on you tube always want to appear that their life is so perfect but I respect someone way more for showing their flaws. P.s. One of your older videos you said having a dog really helps so I got one about a year ago and it's so true 😊

[@stripey0206]

I've been living with mental health issues since I was 6 (I'm now 25) and this video made so much sense to me! Thank you for being so brave when discussing this topic that a lot of people shy away from. I can feel the start of a relapse coming on and this video has really made me realise I have to open my people. Thank you xxx

[@danielleuhbelle]

This is the most important video I have ever watched on KZbin. I struggle with mental health and have my entire life and I have never ever ever met anyone else who has gone through trying to find a balance for so long. Thank you

[@rhianhy]

Thank you so much for sharing right back. Your sweet comment really touched me

[@StudioDeux]

I got diagnosed with anxiety, social anxiety and depression just last year, and I am so certain that I've struggled with it since my childhood. It was so good to finally put words to feelings, and still hard trying to adapt to actually living with it. Working a regular job is hard because I struggle with sleep, and I struggle with actually getting through the day some times. I do still do it though, but planning to transition into working for myself within the next year. I try to go work out a few times a week, eat less crap and now I'm going to start creating more just to channel my "issues" into something more productive and "happy" if you will. Thank you for sharing, Rhian, it takes guts and so many people still don't grasp how mental health can affect someone so much.

[@shantaizguerra3400]

Thank you so much for talking about mental illness. Not a lot of people talk about having a illness. It is not easy at all to talk about I have struggled many year with anxiety. And it has be a long hard road. I just wanted to say don't ever be scared to talk to some one if u are struggling there is help.

[@barbaraserry]

I really support your message and bravery in this video. Thank you. Mental illness, and embarrassment or shame for seeking help, has affected too many people to keep it under the rug. It's 2015 and time for it to be more acceptable to talk about it, and understand the work it takes to better your own mental health. Talking really helps to heal, and I think your honesty and willingness to share your story will help many people to do the same or just know they are not alone if experiencing similar struggles.

[@rhianhy]

+babs0824 Thank you so much

[@alisonwinder6552]

I've been following you on Instagram for a while now and never knew you had mental health issues. Watching this video has helped more than you know. I've had problems with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. I still have yet to get help because I'm scared of medication, but after seeing your video it's made me realize that medication can be good. Thank you for being open. You really have no idea how much I can relate. Thank you thank you thank you ❤️

[@gabrielaskaba4243]

Thank you Rhian! For being so strong talking openly about this and for being empowering and inspiring to share. I am sorry you have to feel the way you feel, because I know how it is, when you dont want anybody to ever feel this awful way, ever.

[@rhianhy]

+bluth schwester Thank you so much... its definitely hard, no matter how good life is, to think that there are other people feeling that desperation. Tough to swallow for sure. Lots of love

[@waterpolochick18]

Thank you for being blatant about it all. I working in a highly stressful field and I see young people take their lives everyday, you hear about or see it up close. I've been there maybe not so long ago but you are right that one little piece of hope is what kept me going. I feel so thankful that people are more open about mental illness and the taboo things like sexual assault because it's nice not to feel alone. We need more people to understand so asking for help won't feel like you are just going to get rejected.

[@rhianhy]

+waterpolochick18 100% agree... we need to push to break the stigma as long as we're ready to do so!

[@CloudedIdeas24]

I was exactly like that with food, I still have moments when I struggle with it now. Especially if I'm eating in public or around people other than close family / boyf. That began when I was only 4 / 5. Anxiety around food but not necessarily an eating disorder. I never wanted to be Skinny but when I couldn't eat without feeling anxious. The textures. I have had severe depression; hospitalised and medicated. It didn't help me much other than as you say gave some respite, but I too felt like I wasn't really functioning as best I could. Autopilot for Sure! I went to many therapists during my crisis point and I just didn't connect with them. I didn't feel they understood the way I needed them to. Then I found an amazing therapist, to this day I think of her and how she, with her gentleness and kindness, helped me find hope. I will forever be grateful to her. When I told people who were close about my mental illness they acted different, like I was an alien... I guess the lack of understanding really gets in the way. Your video and message is so important. There is still a lot of stigma around mental health issues, in relationships, work places, etc. Thank you for opening up about your struggles. This is the kind of strength and vulnerability that brings people together. I'd love to see more lifestyle / topic videos on your channel.

[@rhianhy]

I'm sorry you've had similar struggles but it is sort of reassuring other people feel the same! I still have pangs of it occasionally if people make a fuss about what I am/am not eating.

[@taylorb322]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's very brave of you to share such personal details of your past like that. Great advice too on having something to look forward to in the future, even if it is something small. The hardest but absolutely most important thing is to ask for help and to just get the ball rolling and start the process. In the beginning of my recovery process I truly never felt like I would get better or feel any different and I was actually scared to feel something different because feeling so sad was all I knew and I was so attached to that. But I'm so so so glad I took that first step and went through all those uncomfortable feelings and discussions to be where I am today. You should be really proud for making these videos. I know they're going to help 💗

[@rhianhy]

I'm so glad you're well on your journey. You're always so sweet and kind. Thank you so much for watching and sharing!

[@taylorb322]

+Rhian HY of course

[@DamnitDanniDanielle]

I saw this video the first time I found your channel, but haven't watched it till tonight because it was hitting so close to home. I've been struggling the last couple months with admitting I needed help. I've previously been misdiagnoised with depression when I had a 'physical' illness and was hesitant to seek help, but I'm so glad I did. I am currently being treated for Bipolar Type 2, but it could be cyclothemia because I can cycle pretty rapidly. I'm on day 5 of ramping up my medication (Lamictal, I don't do well on SSRI). I posted a blog on my facebook and have been so supported by my friends and family. Your video is great. I'm looking forward to starting my channel and continuing to share my journey.

[@bonnieblewitt7260]

Rhian I have so much respect for you sista for sharing your story and being so authentic and vulnerable. It really does help to shine a light on mental health and by you sharing your own story it gives hope to others and shows them they are not alone. Videos like this are so important and they are also helpful to those who are not suffering to hear stories like yours so we can be more understanding, compassionate and supportive to our loved ones and peers who may be struggling. You are an inspiration for making this and I take my hat off to you for showing up every week and sharing yourself with us. I also take my hat off to anyone who may be reading this who is doing their best everyday just to get by. To anyone reading this, I don't know you but I love you. 'Life is a beautiful struggle.'

[@rhianhy]

Thank you so much for your continued love and support. I really feel it!

[@bonnieblewitt7260]

+Rhian HY My pleasure. I really feel you! Tour authentic, your real and I feel your heart xx

[@yourlovelydeer]

Rhian, you are such a strong and beautiful person, both inside and out. Thank you so much for making this video, you are incredibly brave for sharing your story with the world. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 16 and it has been a bumpy road for myself and the people around me. The last year has been so incredibly hard for me, particularly the past 4 months but I have had my medication changed and day by day I am feeling better. This video has helped me more than I can truly tell you, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. You really do inspire me and as of tomorrow I am going to work so hard on creating a healthier lifestyle for myself - mentally, emotionally and physically. I know I need to get myself into a routine and you've reinforced that for me so I will be trying really hard to do so. I don't know you (I wish I did) but I am proud of you and the progress you've made, you're amazing and I just know that this video is going to help so many other people. Love & hugs

[@rhianhy]

+Savanna Salter Thank you so much for that sweet comment, Savanna! I'm sorry you've had a struggle too but it seems you are well on your way and have a great attitude in going forward! It takes so much time and patience and i really wish there was more available mental health assistance out there. Again, thank you!

[@MerdyMench]

this is such an amazing video. thank you so much for sharing. I am in my late 30's, suffered from depression for such a long time. self-medicated with alcohol and drugs for the latter of my teens and 20's...I was so out of control, and I think in order to get control of something in my life I began binging and purging in my early 20's, become beyond obsessed with being skinny by any means necessary, which only worsened my depression. my parents turned a blind eye, friends tried to be supportive, but lost patience in me...I get very sad looking back on it. I couldn't keep a relationship of any kind for a long period, had a lot of people tell me it was all in my mind...and the same "exercise more", "write in a journal" "do yoga"...the list goes on. I tried. I met my husband when I was 30, I moved to Hawaii which I thought would be the medication I needed daily, sun and love...instead I got even worse, drinking a lot of wine and in turn taking out years of anger, self-hatred, sadness, depression out on my now hubby. I have seen a few different therapists, but none really worked, they didn't specialize in mental health issues, my doctor told me to take more "spa" days and get pedicures. I too have to laugh when I look back because if I don't I will too cry non-stop. I am now on a medium dosage of Prozac, I often feel guilty too because many of my friends and family think medication/anti-depressants are an "easy way out", but really they are the dummies because they self-medicate with junk food, drugs and alcohol...I have good and bad days, but I to want others to know that it is worth it to weather thru shitty days because good days are great. I now have 2 small boys, did stay on my medication (Lexapro) at the time I was pregnant. I was still a mess even on the medication with hormonal shifts, and my midwives were really supportive of me staying on the Lexapro, both my boys are fine and healthy. I couldn't imagine if I was off them at that time. I am just taking it day by day now. I often feel like a failure because so much of my life thus far was wasted in a depressed or drunken haze. I stopped working right before I got pregnant because of my mental health issues, then had babies and haven't worked at a job for 6 years. I want to help provide for my family, but am often scared of my mental health issues and working. I have shifted medications a fair amount also, and although I don't think the dosage of Prozac I take is quite enough...I too hate that feeling of total numbness I have felt from higher doses. Sorry to ramble. I don't have a great support system to talk about my issues. It just feels comforting to know someone else has been thru my struggles. I don't feel so alone.

[@rhianhy]

I'm so sorry you've been through all that! It's hard when you realize the thing you banked on helping you actually did nothing... It's so amazing you've kept trying and I wish you only the best!

[@lauren9099]

I have terrible depression, anxiety and add/adhd that makes me a crazy unpredictable mess. The way you look at mental health is exactly the way I look at it. I take about 5 medications for my issues and it has made me a completely different person. I'm actually happy now. Thank you for sharing your story❤️

[@rhianhy]

+Lauren Craig I'm so glad you're feeling some relief and happiness!

[@JuliaCNZ]

Awww rhian you got me at 26:48..... 😢 You were already such an awesome KZbinr (person that I get to virtually hang out with) to me and now this... Ya speaking volumes. Thanks for sharing your mental health story (on top of all you've done before) .. You are an amazing and important part of this 'community' for so many reasons. Inspiring. Xx

[@rhianhy]

+Julia .W. Its been a pleasure virtually hanging out with you!! Thank you for watching

[@julianafontenele]

Great video Rhian and thanks for spreading awareness. I have depression and I'm also on medication. The more we talk about it, the better. There's hope, there's treatment, the journey might not be straight-forward, but there are ways to feel better. The more people know that, the better. It's not a character flaw or lack of motivation. It's a chemical imbalance, an illness and has to be treated as such. We have to fight the stigma. Thanks again for being very candid about it.

[@rhianhy]

+Juliana Lima My thoughts exactly!! Thank you for taking the time to watch and share your thoughts/story

[@sydneysnyder2712]

Thank you so so much for this Rhian. It's hard when you feel like you'll forever be wanting to give up but hearing you talk about your story and how even though you don't feel amazing you CAN feel and you can function was amazing. It's inspired me to learn to do the little things first and I've really benefited from that instead of trying to do big things when I feel terrible I'm learning to do little things and save the big things for the times when I feel a little better. But I also understand now that it's so important to seek help from others as well as yourself and I'm going to talk to a doctor soon about whatever this is i'm dealing with. All of that is just to say thank you so much for making this video it is so so helpful and you're such an amazing ball of sunshine ❤️

[@ewajankowska376]

You are so brave, I admire you so much. Everyday is a struggle for people with mental health problems, I speak from my own experience. I had anorexia, few suicide attempts (yeah I such even in that..) and clinical depression earlier in life but I still trying to live as productive as possible. Having abusive mother probably doesn't help, but I value family ties to much to cut them. That's really cheese, but my husband actually helped me so much better than any psychiatrist I ever encountered. You're such a gift, you change people's lives. Your a hero :) Cheers

[@rhianhy]

Sending lots of love

[@Papergrace]

+Rhian HY You are truly an inspiration. So many people are afraid to talk about their stories, but you have so honest and brave to share your struggle. I'm one helluva crazy girl, too. ;) (Borderline Personality Disorder, Complex PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, and probably some other stuff I've forgotten.) I attempted suicide 2 years ago in April. And it's truly hard to not get caught up in the darkness of my mind. But, for now, today? I'm here. And, I have a beautiful cat that loves me. Today is all that matters sometimes. Not even tomorrow. Reading through your site, looking at your videos....makes me want to make some changes, though. Healthy changes. Thank *YOU* for that. ♥

[@sinayv_]

Thank you for this very personal video. It must be very hard to tell this to so many people you don't even know but it gives so many energy and courage to some of us to finally do something.. I've started a therapy three weeks ago because of depression and I already know it was the best decision ever. I like your honesty, your truly an inspiration for so many out there. Lots of love from Germany :)

[@rhianhy]

+Sina L. I'm so so glad you're feeling progress and i know starting therapy can be a scary step but you've been so strong to stick to it!! Danke!

[@lotus57100]

I finally got to watch this video in full. Wow. I wish I could give you a big hug. You are so lucky to have a great supportive husband and family. I have a sister in law with serious mental issues. I'm so proud of my brother who has been Mommy and daddy, bread winner, housekeeper etc. Never complains. I think talking about it publicly is helpful and healing for you and I imagine you have helped many. We all have our issues. I find keeping a routine is best for me. Please know you are special and loved by many. Although you are younger than my youngest baby lol I really enjoy your videos. It's helped me in my difficult adjustment to early retirement. Sorry to ramble on so. xox

[@rhianhy]

+Jane Fleet Jane! Ramble on any time, i always love your comments! I'm definitely very lucky to have such a good support system and i think i've been raised to pass it on too

[@katestamand-wr8vl]

i'm on lorazepam (for seizures) and zoloft (for anxiety) the adjustment to taking both of these medications were EXTREMELY difficult. in my opinion, mental health drugs are super tricky to deal with. therapy is also a struggle but once you find the best therapist for you it really helps. you're amazing and this story made me feel less alone. thank you so fucking much...

[@rhianhy]

+k8 is gr8

[@audreana921]

This is so brave of you and very humbling. You are such a strong woman, I looked up to you a lot already because you're so outspoken and passionate. Expressing your experiences and struggles makes you that much stronger and more powerful in my eyes. Thank you.

[@rhianhy]

+adriana delatorre Thank you so much Adriana! Definitely an emotional experience but i'm so glad its been met with such love and support! Thank YOU

[@melissagavin7826]

Thank you for sharing your personal story with us. It can be hard for those of us who suffer to speak publicly about our mental health issues.

[@AdventuresInAubreyland]

Words can not even express how much I admire you. Always loved your videos but even more now loving you for how real you are. Thank you for the gifts you share! Big hugs, appreciation and gratitude for you dear.

[@nicolepittman2213]

Brain zaps! I never heard anyone else talk about experiencing this, and that is such a great descriptor. I have these so, so often. I love how you address the lifestyle suggestions people make and how that's not necessarily enough for someone with a chemical imbalance. I agree with you in that you have to actively try, find a routine that works, but I love people talking openly about medication because that removes a bit of the social stigma around taking medication. Many wishes for continued healing, love, and light.

[@rhianhy]

That was a lovely comment to read, Nicole! I feel very lucky that my family instilled in me that its the same as taking a medication for any chemical issue. No shame should ever be involved.

[@nicolepittman2213]

I'm so glad to hear that your family was and is supportive. It makes such a huge difference. Mine don't entirely understand, but after 20 years of dealing with mental health issues, they've learned how I am and how to help. It was always explained to me that taking anti-depressants for me is no different than a diabetic taking insulin. The body has created an imbalance, and I'm trying to fix it and lead a normal life. I've been having some highly stressful out of my control situations lately, and I'm trying to get back on track with my self care. My heart goes out to you, and I'm so thankful you shared your story. Incidentally, the suicidal thoughts you mention, you may have learned this since, but it's the difference between passive suicidal ideation (I wish I were dead) and active suicidal ideation (I have a plan. and I'm going to act on it). For me, having the terminology helps because it adds that extra level of distance from the actual feeling. Thank you, again, for sharing so much of yourself. TGIF! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

[@rhianhy]

I hope your stressful situations pass soon! I don't think it was ever even "i wish i were dead" for me, i've just known what its like to desperately not want to feel what you're currently feeling.

[@OF-millionaire]

I never knew you struggled with this as well. Thank you so much for posting this, Rhian. It's nice to not feel alone.

[@rhianhy]

+mrsdebunt

[@southlondon86]

I know exactly how you feel Rhian..the part where you talk about how you're low most of the time but you've learnt to take advantage of the mania cycles which pop up every now & then- that is exactly what I've been going through since my teens. Thank you for being open & honest about this. Such a crazy life to live with cyclothymia.

[@rhianhy]

+southlondon86 Its so important to know that it affects so many!!!!

[@southlondon86]

Can you suggest any solutions you feel have 100% worked? You say yoga is not effective but anything at all that makes this easier to manage?

[@rhianhy]

I mean, i don't think anything 100% works, its almost always a combination of things specific to the individual... you might find yoga is awesome for you. Besides the things i mentioned in the video and in the Q&A... i think its a case of trying everything until something clicks!

[@kaylaparolin1274]

Thank you you so much for making this video. The amount of vulnerability it takes to make mental health videos is inspirational and takes some serious bravery. A lot of people in need get to benefit from your bravery, so thank you again. I also call myself crazy and for some reason, it helps.

[@rhianhy]

+Kayla Parolin I think when you've felt that crazy and have finally progressed, it gives you so much drive to try and help others avoid that struggle. Thank you for your sweet comment

[@veroniquesevigny829]

Rhian.... I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.... Videos like this are extremely important. I struggle with severe depressive disorder and I related a great deal with what you were saying.. I smiled and cried through the video. I thank you again for this heartfelt testimony ❤️

[@rhianhy]

+Véronique Sévigny Thank you! I really hope you're feeling well and happy

[@veroniquesevigny829]

Thnks Rhian!

[@dinaatjuh]

I get your points, I do so much. However sometimes some things can not be helped by talking about them. Cause others just don't understand and / or can't solve our problems for us (no matter how useful their advice is, it's up to you). I don't have a solution to that but I think it's important not to dismiss people for not being able to ask for help or not being able to take the help and actually make it better. Accepting help and taking that to help yourself is a big step. Especially when you think you're not worth it anyway. Powering through is the only thing that has ever worked for me. Anyway, wishing you a good day. Thanks for being so honest.

[@cyndewalton392]

Thank you for being brave enough to post this video.

[@laurensharpley7636]

Thank you so much for this Rhian. I am recovering from my mental health issues and I think it is very important for us to talk about our recovery. You have inspired me to make a video about my mental health journey.

[@rhianhy]

+Lauren Sharpley I'm so glad Lauren, definitely let me know when you do- i'd love to watch

[@mixmatch3652]

My dear, you have no idea, relieving this vide was...thank you so much!!!

[@AmeliaEvans]

Thank you for this video. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. This week has been one of those awful, hopeless weeks. I've been asleep for roughly 5 days and woke up a little bit ago and saw this video. :) I cried for you because I know how hard it is. The helplessness is overwhelming. I'm so glad to hear you are in a good place. I think I've been on most all the medicines you mentioned but I still feel horrible. The process of finding the right one can be a struggle in and of itself. Anyway, thank you again for this video. Hugs and love from this crazy person :)

[@rhianhy]

+Amelia Evans I remember those weeks and i'm so sorry you're deep "in it" right now. The medicine struggles are so tough but you have to keep on trying because you deserve that feeling of being "okay"! Do a little something for yourself as a treat! Lots of love!

[@TheMakeupEffect]

Thanks so much for sharing girl

[@rhianhy]

It really is so different for everyone and I just wish people realized there are so many things that can give you some relief, medicinal or not. Thank you so much for the love. I adore you!

[@KyLives]

Hey, your perspective is really helpful. I think everyone's coping mechanisms can seem weird to others. I've found that grounding myself is the best way to deal with the different states I can find myself in. I used to use prescription medication as well as alcohol and other drugs to try to manage my state. Over the course of several years I slowly cut out more and more of what I call stimulation. I quickly realised that alcohol was really negative for me but it took years for me to actually realise like hey drinking is actually doing something totally different to me than it does to everyone else. Then it took another year or so for me to actually be assertive enough to tell everyone around me that I couldn't drink. It's really hard to make these choices because there is an element in your mind that says why shouldn't I be able to enjoy these things the same as everyone else and this kind of doubt that says you could just be over analysing things. During all of this I was also going on and off medication for much the same reasons, thinking I should be able to do without them but seeing I was obviously producing better results on medication. I wasn't happy on medication though. I eventually decided to just cut out everything, but I was still drinking coffee. I didn't even consider the effect caffeine may have on me because I had been drinking it since I was a teenager and it was just a totally normal part of me. I was obviously addicted but hey, everyone is these days. In the absence of all other chemicals however I started to notice that caffeine was making me anxious. I was counting on caffeine to make me productive enough to get everything done, because I am also very ambitious. I stopped drinking caffeine a little over 3 months ago now. I'm at a state where I avoid even sugar and for a lot of people that may seem crazy but from this place where I am completely grounded I can carefully observe myself and I can actually see the patterns and the way that my mind is actually working. I've pretty much become a monk haha! But I'm starting to feel like I'm understanding myself enough that I could handle a little drink here and there IF I wanted to, but funnily enough, the desire isn't there anymore. It actually feels the best to be at what I call, zero. Everything that happens to me from this state of mind feels exactly as it should without any outside influence. Hopefully this is of some value to someone to read. I plan to share more details on my channel in future. Hope to hear from you!

[@annadstar777]

Rhian, I am your fairly new viewer I love all your videos. This one is very different from your usual stuff but super important. Thank you so much for making it. I can tell it took a lot of courage. It gave me better understanding of the condition. Also feel so much more compassionate towards you and anyone that is battling depression and anxiety. Glad you found a way to manage it and feel better. Much love ❤❤❤

[@Amy-dl9vx]

I've been watching your videos for a while and you're such a compassionate person, this made me tear up. Thank you so much for sharing, its really important. And I'm so glad you're at a point in your life where you're doing okay and that you have a support system. Xx

[@rhianhy]

+Amy Bride Thank you for the sweet words! Seeing you've dealt with psychosis, i thought you might be interested in this animation my sister's boyfriend created after his own dealings with it - kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGaTen96jdB0Ztk Its tough when doctors don't seem to "get it" but you just have to keep pushing, keep making appointments and don't settle if you're not happy with what they're saying. I'm so lucky i have a great doctor who is aware of both medical and lifestyle options so i can't imagine having someone so uninterested.

[@Amy-dl9vx]

I live in a small town and have dealt with the same doctors for years, but hopefully I'll find someone soon who can help. Unfortunately the process is very slow so even though I'm trying I have to wait months for appointments. I'm trying my best, but its hard when help isn't fast. That animation was cute, I hope that his psychosis is at least manageable since it can get really scary and very stressful to deal with.

[@LiftHard_LoveAll]

I have bi polar and ptsd... It's hard to deal with. I can relate. Btw your absolutely gorgeous!

[@yomamma6646]

THANK YOU. Seriously. I've struggled since I can remember but the last three years have been garbage. I have OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, but most intrusive is my depersonalization and derealization. Every minute of everyday my mind is blank, no thoughts ever. I have no emotion, I can't imagine things or talk to myself, I'm the definition of auto pilot. I've been losing hope like crazy because it's been such a long time coming but this gave me a little umph.

[@rhianhy]

+Yo Mamma Wow i can't imagine how tough that must be... that is quite the selection! I really hope you can find things that start to help you and whatever combination of things that might be... i hope it comes soon! You deserve to have some feels

[@kalenmccoy9695]

wow,i feel like im listening to a story about my life. this is so genuine and sincere. what a brave individual you are for sharing your story and experiences with the world. im sure this will help so many people struggling with similar issues. ❤❤❤

[@rhianhy]

Thanks so much for watching Kalen

[@sarassense1961]

Thank you for sharing your story....I was diagnosed bp 2 however I know now that I am cyclothymic for sure. I am at a place of acceptance. I love that you have so much clarity and insight 🌼💐❤

[@dawna4185]

it's great that you are talking about your mental health.....hopefully, the stigma surrounding mental health issues will one day be eliminated!! thanks so much and all the best xoxoxo

[@arissareiriz682]

Thank you for being so honest and open about everything you've been through. It means a lot to me and I'm sure others to know that everyone has their own mental health journey, and that none is alone in their struggle. for two years I've been suffering from severe anxiety and panic attacks, but I now realise that it's something I've always had but was never able to identify. I've come along way from the mental state that I was in before. However I still have good days and bad ones, and my anxiety can flare up from time to time. Nevertheless I try to take each day as it comes and focus on the things that make me happy. I wish you the very best in your own journey! Sending you positive vibes and love from across the pond x

[@rhianhy]

+Arissa Reiriz Its definitely interesting looking back and seeing where problems may have first started isn't it? It can be frustrating that you didn't notice them sooner but also just great that you have started to take a good grasp on things! I'm so happy to hear you are feeling the progress, never stop holding on to that and focus on that always

[@marykillmeyer2884]

Thank you so so much for making this video. I hate talking about my depression so I appreciate that you were able to get this video out there. You are so humble and so genuine and it comes across in all your videos. The things you said about helping your partner understand your struggle really hit home with me. I put a lot of my own issues onto my partner but I'm trying to stop doing that. He's been amazing but I realize now that I need to take control of it myself. I would love a video of you and Adam talking about this topic. I think it would be really helpful. Again, thank you so much.

[@rhianhy]

+Mary Killmeyer Thank you for watching! Its definitely tough when you realize how much you've put someone you care through but also imperative you let them in and show them you need help.

[@infoMentalHealth]

I CAN SO FEEL A CONNECTION WITH YOU AND CAN RELATE TO YOUR STORY! THANKS FOR BEING REAL AND MAKING ME EXPERIENCE YOUR STORY LIKE I WAS THERE:) THE KNOWLEDGE YOU KNOW ABOUT MEDS FIRSTHAND WAS INCREDIBLE. SOME GOOD ADVICE. I WILL BE SHARING THIS IN MY ANXIETY/SOCIAL ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION GROUPS WILL RELATE WITH YOUR STORY:)

[@Wendy-xx4me]

Thank you for sharing your story Rhian - your eloquence and compassion, not only for others, but yourself is inspiring :)

[@rhianhy]

Thanks so much Wendy! x

[@adeleessue1945]

This video was really helpful! I totally relate to the whole not meshing with a counsellor. My first therapist was from a service which was offered by my university and in my first session she said that I was a perfectionist, had childhood issues and my emotional arousal was too high because I cried in the first session. She also made me feel really self-conscious (even more so) by glancing at my clothes whilst I was talking etc. However mt CBT therapist was such a lovely man and I felt comfortable talking about anything with him. I later found out he was a trainee but he was able to find out things about me which I wasn't even aware of (OCD tendencies etc.). The point of my rambling is just because something hasn't worked the first time doesn't mean it's not for you as I was really pessimistic of talking therapies after taking psychology in college. However, CBT has improved my anxiety so much and has given me back control by teaching me mechanisms to cope with it. All the best to anyone suffering with such issues and their loved ones as I know it can take alot out of those too x

[@rhianhy]

I'm really glad you found someone who was able to guide you through it!!

[@waitingforthefall1]

Thank you for being so honest about everything. You're a beautiful human being.

[@rhianhy]

+waitingforthefall1 Thank you so much for taking the time to watch

[@___b___b]

Thank you so much for this. I admire you so much and needed to hear this so badly. I have actually been avoiding watching this since you uploaded it because I had a feeling that it was going to open my eyes to what's going on with me. And that's exactly what happened, but it needs to happen. I'm so happy you're feeling better and improving❤️Thank you.

[@rhianhy]

Feelings can be really inconvenient at times so I don't blame you for putting it off. Our instinct is to protect ourselves mentally as well as physically. If I can ever help more, just ask x

[@caseyraos2056]

This is an incredible video! Really brave to talk about this - you never know how many people you may help. Everything you say is very raw and open, you are most definitely a good talker. It takes a hard life to make a wise person. This has helped me a lot, although I have no mental health issues, I have struggled very hard with losing my father at only the age 15. I'm now 16, it's been 9 months. I still struggle with bad habit making from stress, lack of sleep from thinking to much and being super unproductive. Although I have dealt with it the only way I could ,I am still the most unstable I've ever been in my whole life. It's just really nice to hear a good voice, and hear from someone who has also struggled a lot. I Love your videos, and thank you so much for this video. I taken the parts of it that work for me ,Like the making of a better lifestyle and organising my day better. Love you, stay true. (:

[@rhianhy]

+Casey Raos Thank you for your sweet words! I know it has probably been such a rough, emotional time for you lately in those 9 months but it must also still be so fresh and raw for you. I really can't even imagine what you're going through, especially so young but you seem wise beyond your years and seem to understand that it can take time and effort that can be really tough. Knowing those things and keeping it in your mind what you need to do to progress will help so much! Don't be afraid to ask for help!

[@effieboo9275]

I relate so much to your journey. I have depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I am currently on Buspar, Welbutrin and Effexor and in therapy. I am slowly figuring out what works and am finally starting to feel like myself again. My lowest point was a year and a half ago (I am 22), but I was diagnosed at 13. Also random but Buspar is an anxiolytic (antianxiety).

[@janreichard5511]

This is an amazing video. I have suffered from anxiety disorders, OCD, Social, panic attacks, agoraphobia and gone through a journey. Different meds. Gaining weight from some and then I tried Luvox and Ativan and feel "normal" and I chose quality of life. I have learned the symptoms and can conquer panic before it has a chance. Maintaining my stress level is crucial. Having people to talk to that can relate or at least take you seriously and love you is so important. I haven't always had that. Anyway, thank you for your sharing your journey.

[@rhianhy]

I'm so glad you found things that work for you Jan, thanks for the sweet comment!

[@SonjaDawn]

My highs felt so damn good...in the beginning...they were always followed with severe depression. Now, I can have mini highs whereby I am productive and as soon as I feel like I am beginning to lose control, I can cap it off. I have to be very careful though or it won't be so productive.

[@rhianhy]

Its all about learning about your own head

[@SonjaDawn]

+Rhian HY absolutely! No easy task, but worth it.

[@shellyflores6569]

Thank you for sharing this. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to be so honest.

[@JacksLorraine]

So much love for you. Thank you for this video. Love and respect from Illinois. ❤️

[@rhianhy]

+Jacks Lorraine Thank you for taking the time to watch!

[@britty41286]

Planning something for the future so you have something to look forward to, was some of the best advice I've gotten in a long time. I'm going to try that. Bc sometimes it is really hard to even want to wake up the next day. I feel like there is nothing to look forward to. So thanks for that! Thank you for sharing your story!

[@DanniRox999]

Thank you for this. It is invaluable and I truly appreciate you sharing this with us. It actually makes me feel worse when people tell me to 'Chin up' (yes I do get this and other variations) and I get really frustrated when people try to suggest what I should do as they imply that I'm not doing enough. Also, as you said, trying to stay healthy while going through a depressive episode is hard because at least for me, I become less interested in food, I starve myself as punishment and when I do eat it is usually really unhealthy foods. Ironically, this is the period where healthy food is critical to being able to get through these periods.

[@mellekim7097]

I can relate so much. Thank you so much for making this video and sharing your story.

[@Maria-Tara]

Love! 💕 Thank you for sharing! I am struggling since years too. Wish I had the support you seem to have. High five to Adam and your family.

[@jessicairwin4589]

Thank you for discussing mental health so openly xx

[@rhianhy]

+Jessica Irwin Thank you for watching

[@Kutc1]

Hands down the best video I have ever watched, the most worth watching and the most honest of all. I am happy that you have found the right way to move on with it! Lots of love

[@rhianhy]

+Connie Kin Thank you SO much Connie

[@asterkore4568]

I found your channel because I was needing some help with make up and self care inspiration. I forget to feel pretty and confident coz I am depressed. I thought everyone who looks as good as you and knows how to look after themselves would never struggle with their mental health but I guess I was wrong. It is even more meaningful now, to keep trying to look after myself and build that routine and lifestyle. Really insightful, thank you.

[@rhianhy]

[@asterkore4568]

☺❤

[@KathrinPi]

Thank you for this video! You are a strong woman and it is great that you decided to make this video to share your experience and story. I am sorry you have to go through all this, but I am sure you can help others by sharing it.

[@rhianhy]

Thank you for taking the time to watch

[@alixsiren]

I love this. It takes a lot of courage to talk about these subjects and you definitely gave me hope, made me feel like I'm not crazy and gave me the push to talk about it openly and share my story as well. You rock. :)

[@charleelooo]

Thanks beautiful you helped so much Im starting counselling soon so seeing this brought a tear to my eye because its so sad to think anyone could ever feel your own sadness but quite a relief to not feel alone. hope you're keeping well x

[@rhianhy]

+Charlotte Louise I hope you get what you need from counselling, its a great tool!

[@StanAdriana]

So much love for you, lady.....Respect!

[@crystalbrown7351]

Thank you so much for your honesty and sharing your storey I am sure it wasn't easy. I suffer from an anxiety disorder and my heart goes out to you xx

[@MaRia-hs9kn]

i feel so touched after listening to your story. i hope things are going well for you.

[@rhianhy]

+Ma Ria Thank you for watching!

[@MaRia-hs9kn]

+Rhian HY may i ask what you do for a living? :)

[@melivie2253]

You. Are. Simply. Amazing.

[@rhianhy]

Thanks for watching!!

[@iPixiee]

You are such an inspiration! Thank you for sharing your story, since i started to watch your videos i've felt much more encouraged to become healthier & my attitude towards life is becoming much more positive but to know you have been through the same struggles & hearing your steps in coping is more helpful than you may realise :) xXx

[@l.f.simutis7231]

What a great, honest and helpful video.Amazing job.

[@queenkhaleesi8365]

Thanks for sharing your story. I suffer with social Anxiety its defanitly a daily struggle in my life.

[@rhianhy]

+CuteMiss MJB I'm sorry you're having a rough time... i hope there are things you can find that will help!

[@queenkhaleesi8365]

Thank u

[@danacook1187]

Thank you! I can relate in so many ways! Friend-wise I've been surrounded by the most chemically balanced individuals-love them, but they haven't got a CLUE! Your experience is so well expressed, thank you. If you are ever in NOLA, let's get coffee!

[@missxsxhausman]

I'm just as crazy as you, lovely girl 😉 I'm glad you made this video...i can relate, as i know alot of others will and it makes you feel a lil better knowing you arent alone in it. I'm trying to find what works for me being that I'm completely anti-meds and dont want to go that route...but it is tough. We are tough cookies! Hope things get better and better for you xo

[@rhianhy]

+sarah hausman