RiffTrax: Fairy King Of Ar (Full Movie)

[@HylianFox3]

I just love the cliche where a character coughs once, so you know they're sick/dying. "He's going to die!?" "Well, I mean he did cough a couple of times earlier in the movie, you should have seen this coming." "What does Dad have?" "He has a cough, Sweetie. There is no cure."

[@tanisdevelopment]

Sometimes called The Love Boat Rule.

[@henrygvidonas9573]

The "tuberculosis trope". Also known as "Chekov's cough". Almost as popular as "Disney's dead mom".

[@mytruepower2]

"Incurable Cough of Death."

[@abborne1]

I cannot recommend highly enough... well, That Mitchell and Webb Look in general, but more immediately, "The Man Who Had A Cough And It's Just A Cough And He's Fine"

[@montanalife3530]

Watching this now, it just seems like the dad has COVID. So a weenie COVID Dad and an oblivious Mom who doesn't understand basic words; I'd gladly go live in the mine with the goblins xD

[@cigoLxeL]

"Why do I feel like we just entered a Stephen King novel?" _"'Because the scene felt like it was written in a minute?"_ That dig made me bust out laughing so hard that I startled my viewing companion. I enjoy much of King's work, but you can always spot the parts in every story where he was clearly on a roll and didn't stop to look over what he'd just written.

[@belugatoons]

"Hey, quit having so much fun!" "The official motto of Great Britain." Spot on

[@sel9981]

"Erm actually it's Dieu et mon driot" 🤓

[@victotyorvalhalla]

“Make believe is stupid! I’m going to watch 6 hours of somebody else playing Minecraft.” Wow Mike. Wow. Ok, you guys went all out on this one. Amazing!

[@cryptodentist]

“PlayStation 2 is booting up” is a fantastic riff, it makes me so happy

[@cujoedaman]

The best part of this movie is not only watching Malcom McDowell ham up the scenes he's in, but listening to him change accents three or four times :D

[@bloodrunsclear]

Why did he decide he NEEDED one? He could have just been an English caretaker!

[@cujoedaman]

@@bloodrunsclear Someone was probably like "we need to make it more believable" or something like that. You know how Hollywood gets sometimes.

[@Du-Masses]

@@cujoedaman don’t think this is a Hollywood movie 🎥 at all

[@Laneous14]

Was he trying to do a Southern accent? I can't tell. Was it Australian? Indian?

[@cujoedaman]

@@Laneous14 Yes.

[@particularbored6072]

To Bill Corbett: Since the days of Crow, thank you for the sacrifice of your lungs for our audible enjoyment. *"STAY!"*

[@kenoohki]

Actually that was Kevin 😂

[@HylianFox3]

"Make-believe is STUPID... I'm gonna go watch 6 hours of someone else playing Minecraft." "Evie, you're so STUPID... I'm gonna go watch a show about dump trucks that turn into robots and punch each other."

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

Oh God we're talking about the Ice Cream Bunny again? My PTSD just kicked in again...

[@kingvulturo]

HeHhh Hhhneeenhh Heeennh!

[@jacksongibbs8998]

HURR HURR HURR

[@Every_Day_islike_Sunday]

You guys are so bad, lol!

[@MrArgus11111]

the blatant dragging on of the "reading the book" scene was funny in and of itself. Gotta make it as long as a "real" movie without spending any money!

[@Tareltonlives]

Sadly, that was the best part of the movie

[@Satellite_Of_Love]

I mean, usually there's some animation or at least an animated page turning. They had to save the budget for the crappy fairy animation, I guess.

[@AlcoholicBoredom]

They managed to squeak to movie’s runtime up to 83 minutes, thus making it feature length.

[@RobotoSan]

47:12 Made a riff here about everybody eventually dying like grandma, in response to the girl asking if Roger Dorn from Major League was gonna die. Couple weeks ago I had a heart attack and couldn't help thinking "holy shit, *I **_really am gonna die_** like grandma!"*

[@RobotoSan]

@@FionavanDahl Thank you! It is indeed. Both how ridiculously often the lines apply to important life moments and my heart's status. (Evidently it wasn't even the real trouble maker. *Looks at bypassed arteries.) I'm sorry I didn't notice your reply sooner.

[@stephenwilhelm]

"Firefly mine." "And Fox just cancelled the mine." Ouch. That one hurt. Too soon.

[@rayjohanneckmusic3660]

That PS2 reference was money. Rifftrax and MST3K are fantastic

[@alanbear6505]

Uh oh! Dad coughed once! Better start writing the eulogy.

[@MichaelBoothofOz2009]

I remember seeing this back in 2013 with my grandmother. I thought it was the worst movie. Thank you Rifftrax for doing this one. But now, I would like to see you guys riff The Oogieloves, Cool Cat, or Alabama Moon.

[@moonymonster]

Ahaha yes Cool Cat just to piss of the lolcow that is its creator

[@calebtate4994]

Really speaks to the strength of the story that I could walk away for literally two minutes, come back, and be completely lost. 🤣

[@abborne1]

You could have been tied to a chair with your eyes pried open the whole time and it's still impossible to follow.

[@KairuHakubi]

I constantly had to rewind a few seconds to try to figure out what was going on

[@boomboom6577]

Same! And I was sitting right here watching it, just mentally blanking out periodically to save my brain cells. I looked up and was like “wait, is this in South Africa?”

[@gabrielboorom2683]

Malcolm McDowell fighting fairies makes me long for Jim Varney fighting trolls with milk.

[@mattcmccaffrey]

The most unbelievable part of this movie is that the guy got an NHS appointment right away. The most believable part is that the doctor then says, "you're better off just going back home."

[@boomboom6577]

That was the step too far 😂

[@Ammeeeeeeer]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@brianmatt4822]

Don't come to the U.S. either. I haven't had a Dr. In 10 years & you know our stance on our criminalization of pain pills - my 2 or 3 conditions they try to give me mega- acetaminophen or ibuprofen for them already knowing I have a bad stomach & my poor boyfriend's kidneys are going to shut down of he takes any more. Sick, sicker,dead. Better staying home& conjuring up a demon-fairy-angel,it's more likely to show up not cancel,& help.

[@parsonkyle9257]

Kirk Cameron made a whole ass terrible movie with this premise, sick kid has weird illness, some Chinese shop owner shouts "hospital!" at the sick kid, they go to hospital, they tell the sick kid to go home and die lol

[@DemonKingBadger]

@@parsonkyle9257 then the kid and others disappeared leaving their clothes behind. You know that left behind series was made to riff.

[@NikovK]

14:26 In a house full of antiques they have a an unseasoned yet rustless cast iron pan. Its almost as if the prop department bought it the day before, couldn't get the eggs to slide off the raw metal, and had to float it in lard so the actress could get it onto the plate.

[@HylianFox3]

"An old drunk telling a boy his father deserves to die? So maybe he's Irish after all." ouch

[@Tcoldsteel]

The Isle of Man truly is a magical place. Apart from the infestation of non-indigenous fireflies and Droog retirement home.

[@markiangooley]

It has feral wallabies and more recently the Mitchell brothers, Big Clive and Ralfy.

[@algomaone121]

Welly well well well. A few lomticks of toast and then it’s off to show those starry faries a bit of the old ultraviolence!

[@lizd2943]

@@algomaone121 Don't forget to drink your milk plus!

[@RRVCrinale]

If only this resulted in fairies rocketing around on superbikes.

[@kurtwk]

I guess they were looking for a “ New Way “

[@boomboom6577]

30:11 I died at the “holy sh- GOOD NIGHT!”

[@trentlytle7289]

I will never have trouble falling asleep ever again

[@dorpth]

What if A Talking Cat?!! and Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders had a baby?

[@jacksongibbs8998]

NO, GOD!!! NO GOD PLEASE NO! NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[@redvintner1094]

This accuracy hurts!

[@aedwardsss]

Yooour weeeelcome!

[@pinkushatejar]

@@aedwardsss that line from that episode always kills me, every time 20 years later

[@enjoyer6201]

I would immediately kill myself because the universe would be a lie

[@thinkfloyd2594]

I've seem them! Snap, Crackle and Pop! The legends are Trrrruuueee. 🙂

[@shawnfields2369]

The legends are true, indeed. Both Malcolm McDowell AND the Dad from the show "Psych", were in some crappy, generic movie together! I knew it!!!

[@willtheangrydudeist9120]

"Atleast, she didn't get propositioned by that swinger couple there in the corner..." Again, that's the director's cut

[@tashadalto2441]

the moment Macdowel sat down on that green chair after telling them to leave all i could think was, " oh cool a fraggle rock prequel movie"

[@jacksongibbs8998]

“Oh cool, a fraggle rock prequel movie” should be a joke in this episode.

[@favoritemustard3542]

He's even got a dog!

[@Tareltonlives]

I bet he wished he was in a Fraggle Rock movie

[@Mister413_]

Definitely need some laughs after the long rude awakening that is Monday!

[@paulhammons7077]

Looks like somebody has case of the...😇

[@dw7493]

30 minutes in and my favorite character is the little dog. He's so cool. Everybody else sucks.

[@HylianFox3]

"That's right... come here, plump delicious Tibbett."

[@shuttittuppitt9355]

Whenever we run out of food, he's going to finally start to realize just how DELICIOUS he looks & "Run Forrest RUN"!

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Now don't tell me that Malcom McDowell is portraying the one person who's father didn't give him his studio and claims he killed the demon despite his insanity

[@finnmcool2]

"We're coming Kyle! Stay there!" "Well, my legs are crushed under rubble, so sure."

[@gohawks3571]

Oh look, it's gold.... Yes, because when there's out of operation mines, there tends to be pieces of gold laying around😒 Thank God for Rifftrax😁

[@notme222]

And a vein of it right near the surface, which they left when they went digging much deeper. Via the tracks and electric lights from 1890. This movie's a gem. 😃

[@gohawks3571]

@@notme222 ikr😂 If only life was so convenient...

[@tommenno]

Every time he said GOLD I got Golddigger flashbacks...

[@Bludngutz]

“I’m gonna go watch a show about dump trucks that turn into robots and punch each other."

[@dadahyena]

There really needs to be a hefty penalty to filmmakers who don't know how to use Malcom McDowell properly.

[@kaptainwarp]

Deep hurting

[@favoritemustard3542]

2 pillows @33:25 _Planes, Trains, & Automobiles_ reference! RIP John Candy This riff is perfect, in that I had already seen BrutalMoose's rundown on the movie...

[@joshuablack8221]

49:07 “You can’t walk, your arm hurts.” 😂😂😂😂

[@dfailsthemost]

The timing of the line about the kid's shirt was excellent

[@dunes8817]

I'm pretty sure I've seen this sitting in the Wal-Mart $5 bin.

[@deadheadguy458]

That’s to much

[@nitrokid]

Yeah, no way this costs $5 😆

[@reiterated]

@@nitrokid Are you talking to make or to buy?

[@boomboom6577]

Walmart has nerve

[@jacksongibbs8998]

@@boomboom6577 Agreed. I once saw Braveheart in a $5 Walmart bin and Braveheart is thousands of miles better than this garbage.

[@brandonobaza8610]

"Fairy King" is a rough translation of Erlkönig (Black Alder King) a legendary wood nymph that kills children.

[@MrBjanders]

I bought this and I'm still delighted to see it up on KZbin now! 😁

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

"Reverend Slenderman" lmao. Who do you think has the craziest filmography, Malcolm McDowell or David Warner?

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

@@LTPottenger True, but it's hard to forget DW dancing to Vanilla Ice in "TMNT Secret of the Ooze."

[@HungryForTastyFoodAndComicArt]

Considering "Britannia Hospital' (which most ppl haven't seen, but it had a decent cinema run in Sydney back in '82), I have to go with McDowell.

[@MykeLewisMusic]

The thing is, Malcom McDowell and David Warner both deserve praise because they have been in some utterly atrocious films (Warner was in Titanic, for example), but both give it 100% every single time. True professionals.

[@Tareltonlives]

Well, is this better or worse than Little Unicorn? I think David was a bit more dignified in that one but both films are pretty terrible.

[@onionhat745]

This is my favorite of those sappy South African children's movies, unless you count that one with the Christmas fairy schoolteacher, which is just bonkers.

[@kanna-san.]

There are straight up terrorists in that one!

[@tuckerbowen4626]

the one where Santa is held hostage by an African militia? huh, i thought that movie was French.

[@kanna-san.]

@@tuckerbowen4626 France, Africa, what really is the difference?

[@tuckerbowen4626]

@@kanna-san. geographical location, culture, climate, economy, size, local stereotypes...

[@onionhat745]

@@tuckerbowen4626 You were right, don't know why I thought it was from SA.

[@krombopoulosmichael]

I've never seen this one. A new classic? Hell, they are ALL classics in their own way...

[@HylianFox3]

"From a recipe called RUINED EGGS" 🍳

[@dorpth]

You know, this is actually the same plot as Straw Dogs. American man's British wife inherits an old house there. They move in to fix it up. There are hostile locals who get more and more rowdy until they form a mob and storm the place at the end, and a single constable trying to keep the peace is overwhelmed. All they did was swap out the man child for fairies.

[@roringusanda2837]

🤔........ ............😮

[@scotiadragoon5974]

"She has a magic spell called, "walk it off, you whiner!" Has Rocket been sitting in on these viewings?

[@joshuawestfall9982]

Needed more cheese puffs

[@darkshadows65]

"Where's my fairy smashers?" loool

[@j3i2i2yl7]

Just when Alex the ex Droog was starting to get past his anti social psycosis, a bulling fairy pushes him over the edge. He went on to kill Kirk.

[@abborne1]

This movie was four years *after* Generations. Looking at his imdb page... I don't think he turns anything down

[@kevinlitton1399]

His name is Alexander DeLarge. Or Caligula. That would also make sense.

[@TheMrPits]

Keep up the good work gentlemen.

[@divingduck1970]

Seeing Malcolm McDowell in something like this is too much for me.

[@debayeuxchats5607]

A movie? A movie I haven't seen? TT^TT Thank you guys!

[@nexik680]

It's Shaun's father from Psych!

[@versebuchanan512]

How many hats were in the film?

[@leonardchurch7505]

YYYEEEEEEESSSSS!! I am super happy this one's coming to the youtube channel, by far one of my favorite ever... of all time.

[@specialpatrolgroup92]

24:00 I only just realised that's Shawn Spencer's dad from Psych. 42:25 "My God! Rope coils, rotting lumber... My God son, the MILDEW!!!"

[@versebuchanan512]

Good. Now, how many hats were in the film?

[@delewan]

I like how nobody was particularly interested in saving the life of some generic 90s kid named Kyle.

[@SophiaNope]

I like how the constable at the end really did not put up much of a fight to break free.

[@earlchatterton9133]

Wow that's an awesomely obscure Flying Circus reference!

[@les907]

30:11 Can't stop from bursting out with laughter at this line everytime

[@Sarahonwheels]

I can't believe Malcolm went from a droog to this and lunch able commercials 😫

[@MykeLewisMusic]

He was also in Wing Commander 3! 🤣

[@Sarahonwheels]

@@MykeLewisMusic 9 months late, but wing commander 3 is a bad movie? Never seen it. Happy holidays!

[@MykeLewisMusic]

@@Sarahonwheels Lol, I forgot about this, too! Saw the notification, and was like "okay, what am I fighting about this time" 🤣 Wing Commander 3 is a space-fighter simulator game from, I think about 1996 or so. Mark Hammill is in it, same with the guy who plays Biff in Back to the Future.

[@Sarahonwheels]

@@MykeLewisMusic oh that makes sense thank you!

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Now don't tell me that Malcom McDowell is portraying the one person who's father didn't give him his studio and claims he killed the demon despite his insanity

[@erniemiller1953]

There are very few movies that I look to see how much more I have to endure, and even fewer that are RIFFed. But, this one, at 44 minutes, I looked.

[@dbsommers1]

Agree. I never bought this because it looked weak, and it was. Every now and then the movie is so awful and constructed to poorly even riffs cant' save it.

[@moonymonster]

57:50 for me. Even Rifftrax can't save this and they got me through the Star Wars Holiday Special

[@ZaGorudan]

This movie has the whimsical tone of a standard children's film, but the way it bridges its moments of whimsy and tenderness is nonsensical. Things feel like they happen just because it's a film for kids; the most perplexing example of this being when that gang of boys start chasing after the main kid for no readily apparent reason, just because kids films usually have some exciting chase sequence that ends with the pursuers being humiliated (it's also why the kids on the bikes are stopped by going into the pond for no reason). This movie is wearing the skin of a family-friendly kids movie Buffalo Bill style, with none of the heart or understanding of what makes a good one. The closest it gets to having a functioning idea was its message about not judging others based on appearance, but even that needed to be spelled out with the scriptwriting grace of a refrigerator falling down the stairs.

[@boomboom6577]

I am only half watching and I can’t figure out if they are in England, Australia, South Africa, or literally nowhere. Every time I check back in mentally, there’s a new white colonizer accent saying vaguely officious shit into the camera. It’s like the movie just embodies the General Voice of the Mid-level Manager White Colonizer. With fairies.

[@puddingskin100]

Look what I found! "It's a delicate glass fairy toilet."

[@Tareltonlives]

Bill's New York fairy is amazing 1:17:38

[@blipio2000]

Love the 2 Sheds reference 😄

[@rothloaf1980]

"Who is playing the male lead?" "Remember the jerk from LA Law?"

[@algomaone121]

“Who is playing the old neighbor?” “It is him, that is Alex, sharpening himself up...”

[@KairuHakubi]

nice to hear McDowell using a scottish accent. or Mannish or whatever also the dad looks like the lovechild of Willem Dafoe and Mike Judge

[@jacksongibbs8998]

Here may be found the last words of Joseph or Aramethia. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the holy grail in the Fairy Kingdom of Arrrrrrrrrrr…

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

And The People Rejoiced

[@Tareltonlives]

Woo! Wasn't expecting this one on the channel! What a treat! Thank you so much!

[@XthegreatwhyX]

To be fair, if I was dying, I couldn't talk of a better thing to do than play around with my kids as much as I can.

[@halfling49]

I was introduced to this film by Brutalmoose, and I gotta say, Fairy King of Ar (and B's) feels incomplete without Ian's insane editing

[@favoritemustard3542]

**PLOP** 🧚‍♂️💨

[@kellyweingart3692]

“Place is infested with Bjorks”

[@sleepyhollow783]

Few things as awesome as Bill's New York Groove accent. 🤖🤵🤖💜

[@Nightweaver1]

The fact that this is the most competent thing I've seen them riff on since MST3K really says a lot about how crap the other movies were.

[@boobah5643]

Don't take this the wrong way, but it says more about what you've seen than what they've done. Or you have a really low opinion of modern cinema. It could go either way, I guess.

[@KairuHakubi]

22:30 wait, why did he hesitate before saying 'son' and then identify the _son_ as the new owner of the house? I was really expecting to find out all the villagers were right and the whole thing turns into a horror movie.

[@Tareltonlives]

Come to the Isle of Man! Your kids will be chased by bullies and screamed at by simple-minded townsfolk! We're prejudiced, stupid, and our medical facilities are trash! The Isle of Man: it's like Steven King's Maine!

[@ShadowTigerKing]

Don't forget the traffic.

[@shakeyownz]

So where did all that water from the mine drain to? No wonder everyone wants them to leave, they just flooded the town.

[@MrArgus11111]

Does McDowell not drink irl? He's trying very hard to NOT drink a drop of that beer for some reason in that short little pub scene. I mean, good on him. Just something I noticed.

[@marcherwitch9811]

theory: they couldn't afford to refill it so they had to do it in one take...

[@jevondismuke5252]

As a prop master on sets sometimes we use na beer, martinelis sparkling apple juice or other products.

[@magemega5293]

He usually just drinks moloko+plus that's with velocet, or drenchrum.... Sharpen him up for a bit of the ol' ultraviolence.

[@Satellite_Of_Love]

@@magemega5293 Ultraviolence! THAT'S what this movie was missing!

[@magemega5293]

@@Satellite_Of_Loveexactly! that's also the same thing i said about "the notebook"...

[@cerealvapist333]

I love how Malcolm's accent sort of circles the UK. One minute he's from Liverpool and the next he's from Yorkshire. And the amount of scenery he chews would put Nicholas Cage to shame.

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

Now either you have a very good ear or you read his Wikipedia page. Because he was born in Horsforth in Leeds, and grew up in Liverpool.

[@cerealvapist333]

@@jean-lucpicard5510 Lol. Holy shit. Neither. I had a friend from Yorkshire as a teenager and he used to rip on the Beatles' Liverpool accent. Good to know something I learned as a lad was actually applicable in real life.

[@Tareltonlives]

Is he actually trying for a Manx accent but can't muster the effort to actually do it?

[@sydneyhamilton2575]

Now don't tell me that Malcom McDowell is portraying the one person who's father didn't give him his studio and claims he killed the demon despite his insanity

[@robertwalker-smith2739]

This is like the RC Cola to "Spiderwyck Chronicles" Coca-Cola.

[@Nick-dz9hq]

At any moment, I was fully expecting McDowell to say “Death is like a predator, it’s stalking you.”

[@markusnavergard2387]

is this gonna turn into a " merlins mystical shop of wonders " thing? because i am so down for that

[@thebolas000]

*muffled* "You're welcome!"

[@CinnamonGrrlErin1]

Rock and Roll Martian! 🐵

[@Jude300c]

Merlin's looks like Harry Potter compared to this mess

[@codyross5364]

Those wing sounds are completely mental

[@greggrobinson5116]

What a strange, disconnected movie. Too silly for grown-ups, too complicated for kids, it feels like it must have had a slew of different directors and a stable of confused writers, all working against each other in a crammed and claustrophobic set with gawky special effects. Still, has Rifftrax Greatness written all over it!

[@diaz5292]

Nice 'Chris Katan weird comedy spasm' reference.

[@Augie13]

Right off the bat the giant was robbed. There was an agreement. He did the work that was required but was denied payment. He got jipped!

[@camarossdriver]

I love driving across “Fairy Bridge”…the only thing that SUCKS is scraping those little bastards off of my windshield.

[@goldenagenut]

Man, even with the Rifftrax guys this movie is painful!

[@Dark00Wolf79]

YAY!! I can't wait to watch this!!

[@Cobra-ky9bt]

Obviously a movie intended for children. Obviously a movie children should never be subjected to.

[@particularbored6072]

We should really discuss these villagers. _A truly uncomfortable_ amount of time to help cough ridden Dad move those pre-broken, prop department placed rocks.

[@boomboom6577]

Yes, but you are speaking through a post-Covid lens

[@particularbored6072]

@@boomboom6577 This isn't accurate.

[@JamaicanCastle]

"Do we _really_ want to save those two annoying kids? I mean, we could just leave them and say we were too late..."

[@wmurd]

Oh my god, actors are suffering and crying like it’s a grim horror drama, not a fairy tale for children

[@NeptuneRising70]

Okay OKAY but there was a restaurant named Finn McCool’s on Kitchen Nightmares, what the hell.

[@Tareltonlives]

It's an Irish cycle: he's usually a a hero.

[@ianjones9498]

just made brekky and coffee showered and shaved and shes still reading that book

[@Interrogame]

Yeaaah! Getting this in my calendar!!

[@puddingskin100]

my kidney stone collection, that'll raise my spirits

[@CrystalWilliams24]

All hail the fairy king

[@chemicalwonderland2492]

that kid was drowning in water that was only up to his knees 😄

[@LchanOtakudom]

Ah, coughs, killers of parents in movies everywhere!

[@r_jd279]

I thought that dude was a Corbin Bernson knock-off. When the guys confirmed it, I "L.A. LOL-ed"... I couldn't help setting up and spouting that pun...please kill me...