RiffTrax: The Shoemaker And The Elves (Full FREE Short)

[@gregmark1688]

"... and the next night, there were 16 pairs. And then, just a short month later, there were 1,073,741,824 pairs of shoes!!"

[@HylianFox3]

The power of squaring!

[@christaswista4014]

Oh no it’s the Shoe Event Horizon as predicted in the Hitchikers Guide Series

[@KyleRayner12]

It only took 7 competently-made pairs of shoes to lift them out of poverty? Man, he *is* a bad shoemaker.

[@Chunkboi]

Or a really good one, but either too much of a perfectionist, or in a really bad market.

[@thisismyname1940]

In a town of even-worse shoemakers, fortunately for him

[@ebwarg]

“Shoemaker Seppuku?” Would that be … “Seppukutsu?”

[@DALWHINNY]

My new favorite riff of all time: "Coronet! Because the bottom of the barrel ain't gonna scrape itself."

[@HylianFox3]

It's good, but I still prefer "ACI, because that grant money ain't gonna flush itself down the toilet." Or maybe it was also Coronet.

[@Popebug]

​@HylianFox3 It's ACI. With Coronet films, there's usually at least some kind of idea or message, while ACI is all out 70s style "having a point or useful lesson would impede children's creativity" nonsense.

[@screamingcactus1753]

I think the reason why this guy never made any money before he got elf help was because he doesn't understand economics and was selling his shoes at the same price as the raw materials

[@HylianFox3]

My thought exactly. Every pair of shoes sold brings in just enough to money... to make the next pair of shoes? No wonder they're struggling.

[@Icanhasautomaticcheeseburger]

@@HylianFox3 And feed the two of them and pay the mortgage. So he was charging a little bit more. But maybe there's a glut of shoes made in the nation's overseas territories driving down local demand?

[@NewMessage]

Sure, make shoes, and all is forgiven. But try to be a dentist, and Santa's reading you Leviticus.

[@ExiaBlade]

😂😂😂😂

[@Moonhermit-]

Hey, kids are constantly asking Santa for a fresh pair of Js. Ain't no damn kids asking for a root canal, and Santa's sure as hell not happy if he's the one coughing up the dough for any potential malpractice suit.

[@redkingrauri3769]

@@Moonhermit- Y'know given American healthcare I can't help but imagine Herbie's dentistry would come in handy for several lists.

[@Moonhermit-]

@redkingrauri3769 I know people can be desperate, but I don't see people trusting their kids' dentistry to an elf whose only claim to fame is tearing out a yeti's molar with comically oversized pliers.

[@redkingrauri3769]

@@Moonhermit- Haven't you seen the sequel? He also performed a root canal on a king.

[@kingfish4575]

Ah, yes, that language of Japanese the couple can't understand even though it's on their sign.😂😂

[@redkingrauri3769]

And the cake they made. "we can read it, we just can't understand it spoken"

[@jasonmaclean719]

'Invasion of The Neptune Men' with English by Belucci Productions

[@Alphasnowbordergirl]

@@redkingrauri3769 Sounds like me honestly.

[@ebwarg]

The elves kept the shoemaker financially solvent until he was able to realize his leather dealer was overcharging him and switched to a different one.

[@guyvizard549]

A cheerful re-telling of the Norwegian fable, "The Gluesniffer and the Weevils."

[@AdrianColley]

I honestly can't tell whether you made that up.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

As made famous a decade later by the Ramones.

[@idlewaifu3286]

"As they worked they sang a happy little tune in a language the shoemaker and his wife could not understand" AKA We were too lazy to hire translators for this short even though the elves are very clearly singing in Japanese. And the shoemaker and his wife would very much understand them if we bothered because the sign says KUTSU (shoes) on their shop.

[@jpleva9987]

*watches “How Not to Summon a Demon Lord”, then this* Dang, Japanese elves have come a long way in 60 years.

[@GrizDrummer25]

"Let's get down 'Team America' style" was the last thing I was expecting xD

[@bryanturner1715]

And as the elves got older they started to appear in Tool music videos.

[@endlessnoise9173]

I thought the moral of the story was, “don’t give your elves viagra.”

[@ZERO_O7X]

Coronet took one look at Rankin Bass and thought "How can we do this, but weaponize it by making it horrifying and terrorize the dreams of millions children?"

[@adamellis6785]

According to Google-Translate, the writing on the cake at 11:20 says, "Thank you Mr. Dwarf." I can only assume that each one of the five looked at it, thought "Oh, isn't that nice. They're thanking ME, but not mentioning my four associates. I sure hope the others don't notice!"

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@CandyHatsuneWolff]

Sorry to stomp on the joke, but Japanese doesn't have plurals. The closest we could get to it, "kobito-san arigatou," in English that makes any grammatical sense would be like, "Thank you, elves, sirs."

[@redkingrauri3769]

"As they worked, they sang a happy little tune in a language the shoemaker and his wife couldn't understand" It's Japanese. Apparently even the fairy prince has been outsourcing labor.

[@Moonhermit-]

"The next day, the shoemaker woke up and saw that the elves had built him a brand new Toyota Corolla. He wondered if it would be rude to ask them if they knew any German or Italian elves."

[@kenthuang436]

I thought it sounded Asian. I was thinking Japanese but I don't speak the language so I couldn't be sure.

[@kathleenmorrison2908]

@@kenthuang436I thought it was nonsense until I caught "arigato" and "obaasan," which is grandmother I believe. Finally years of anime watching paid off.

[@kevinericsnell4092]

Yum tum yummy-tum tay

[@KaladinVegapunk]

Right?? I didn't catch it til later, I was like what why do the elves sing in Japanese at 12 minutes..? Thank you bye bye grandma?? I'm so confused

[@shanedoe3462]

The beautiful couple weren't twice as rich as the richest man in town. They simply put her parents in debt as is the custom with weddings.

[@jonothanthrace1530]

7:14 I heard this and was expecting the elves to come in singing about the wonders of pork.

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@levisamjuno]

This is my favorite version of Rumpelstiltskin.

[@SouthJerseySam]

"Let's get down Team America style" OH MY

[@amypfeffer4983]

That was the most beautiful dance I've ever seen! What a treat after my eye surgery that restored my sight!

[@Chiscringle]

"I'll rumple your stiltskin" may be one of the filthiest things they ever said.

[@Eisenwulf666]

Ok, to be honest, this is kind of endearing. It's not the best fable ever told, but it's a little, cute short story

[@Blueskybuffalo]

Every time I watch one of these Coronet shorts I can smell the film as though I were back in grade school and the teacher just hauled the projector out for a film day.

[@echopeakbicycling85]

Lol You saying that reminded me of the whir of the projector.

[@DemonKingBadger]

The relief of not having to do schoolwork for 20 minutes.😁

[@asilver50]

Walking in to class and seeing a projector or TV set up was the best.

[@Blueskybuffalo]

@@DemonKingBadger “You mean I did my homework on the bus for no reason? I’m going to need two capri suns today to calm my nerves.”

[@1mespud]

A classmate and I were the designated audio-visual boys to either get the projector, radio, record player or tv from the AV room back in grade school. This takes me back. Good times.

[@HVACSoldier]

The elves were secretly members of the Gnome Liberation Army.

[@TJDious]

Summary: The good deed of a poor couple leads to a mystical infestation and interspecies economic exchange.

[@dadahyena]

Now 'Christmas with Mechagodzilla' needs to be a real thing; perhaps it teaches Gigan and Megalon the true meaning of the holiday while blowing up Tokyo?

[@KairuHakubi]

you mean that isn't already the meaning?

[@AdrianColley]

That's why we hang socks over the fireplace, Timmy. It's to remember the time when the monsters - represented by our unwashed feet-scented underthings - watched over the burning of the great city. Now let's use tiny effigies of artificial modernities to overburden a tree that represents nature, as part of our self-aware destruction of the environment in pursuit of shiny things!

[@Popebug]

Megalon already looks like he has Christmas trees for hands

[@jonothanthrace1530]

@@AdrianColleyActually, the stockings represent Mothra's cocoon. 🤓

[@Popebug]

Technically, this is the Coronet anime we've all been waiting for.

[@bryanturner1715]

Keebler let them go and they had to work somewhere.

[@SpamEggSausage]

there were too many elf fingers in the cookies

[@diannemose244]

😂

[@vriderch1360]

If my Japanese is correct, the elves were singing "Thank you, bye bye, old woman".

[@bengrauartwork]

I kinda wanna see the Japanese version now. :D super nostalgic

[@annetsb7517]

They all have more realistic faces than many in Paradise Motel

[@deanfiora4227]

Of course, that isn't saying much.

[@SaturmornCarvilli]

I played those elves in a softball tourney once. It's actually 4 elves and a gnome, by the way. Impossible to strikeout. Anyway, they those me of those nights at the shoemaker's place over a few beers after the game. They were incredibly insulted by the clothes they were given. Compared them to wearing trash bags or something, being human made and all. Afterward, they made the shoes so they were always a half-a-size too small if they ever got wet. Including the ones they had already made. Bankrupted the shoemaker. He had to enter a most dangerous game match put on by the town's richest man. It was the town's most handsome man that gunned him down in the woods. Funny thing, they never found the body. Some say the fairy prince swept it away to his spritely kingdom to make shoes out of him for all his subjects.

[@jpleva9987]

Pitching to an elf’s strike zone is like threading a needle.

[@stephen3164]

You should see them bowl!

[@shannondore]

I must remember not to eat while watching RiffTrax. It's dangerous and a choking hazard. But I'd die happy.🤣

[@RIXRADvidz]

the Glue Traps got me. had to stop the video to reclaim my composure. LOL Glue Traps Oh...Mahye...Gawd...

[@HylianFox3]

Reminds me of the "fly strips" riff in Fairy King of Ar

[@dan1216]

0:53 - it's the grandpa from Texas Chainsaw Massacre!

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@thexalon]

These elves later turned blue and became the Smurfs.

[@venomdust1]

4:37 wreck the shoemakers toilet 🤣🤣🤣

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@AdrianColley]

And that completes the defence closing statement. You see, members of the jury, the production of shoes in my client's establishment had nothing whatsoever to do with those malnourished children who were hiding in the locked basement. Why, my client didn't even know they were there!

[@brandonosgood4162]

12:14 “This is the real nightmare before Christmas.”

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@shwahgamer]

These short riffs are always some of the best to me. 😁

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

Rifftrax makes me feel cozy and so does Christmas, perfect combo. Buy the Christmas shorts DVDs 😁

[@gamingchinchilla7323]

its more a perfect trio if you think about it. Rifftrax, Coronet and Christmas. Its a mix of old nostalgia, riffing brilliance and the holiday spirit. Something the Hallmark Channel cannot achieve with their year round snow-globe village movies.

[@EAG46]

The little elves are kind of cute, considering how old the stop-animation is. The narration's a little weird, but that's expected.

[@shanac5536]

GLUE TRAPS 😂

[@srbrant5391]

"Let's get down, _Team America_ style!"

[@Vashthestampdee]

Man, when is a magical elf gonna help me out.

[@AdrianColley]

As soon as you leave an offering of leather and viagra.

[@Kjata316]

I can’t keep it in, the Japanese language nerd in me needs to say this. The black sign hanging outside appropriately enough has the characters “くつ”. Pronounced “ku tsu”. Tsu is pronounced like you’re saying a “t” sound but blowing a little bit of air between your teeth. It means “shoes” of course! And it’s fun to say imo. 😂 so if you’re curious, there you go. Ok. I’m done now. Awkwardly going back to the shadows.

[@Kjata316]

The cake says: “kobito san arigatou” Kobito = elves San = like Mr. Or Ms. Polite way to address a person or people Arigatou = thank you Ok! Back I go!

[@Kjata316]

And they’re not singing their own language, they’re singing in Japanese. 😅 I can’t make out all of the song but I did catch “obaasan arigatou” basically “thank you elders” like what you call your grandpa or grandma but it’s not said in a mean way like it could be taken in English. It’s respectful and kind in Japanese. As long as the person actually is elderly! 😅

[@EdwardClayMeow]

@@Kjata316 I thought it sounded like they were singing in Japanese

[@ebwarg]

⁠@@Kjata316Yeah, I call BS on the couple being unable to understand them.

[@undoneonion90]

I'm actually learning Japanese myself.

[@ProBreakers]

Man, these puppets are nightmare fuel.

[@dw4124]

That's right kids, good people who are poor will be saved by a fairy prince, and only bad people are still poor

[@undoneonion90]

5:46 I'M BEAUTIFUL 👹

[@WVUer21]

2:13 Kevin made me laugh for two minutes solid. I don't know why, but that just broke me.

[@AdrianColley]

I think the existence of "dust bunny gravy" implies that a lot of thought has gone into the expanded universe of medieval poverty cuisine.

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@T.J.Hallett]

There's this 1936 short called: One Live Ghost. Looks like a good short for riffing. Plus it has a young Lucille Ball in it playing a maid.

[@amandadonaldson8748]

Came back to watch this today after learning that this seems to be the story that led to the Christmas elves we think of today. Until the Shoemaker story, elves were portrayed as mischievous, and even evil.

[@mrkrinkle72]

And so, the demonic elves returned to Pitch for further dark orders.

[@DMBLaan]

Anyone else remember the Muppet's Fairy Tales video, where the elves were actually Elvis and they made Blue Suede Shoes?

[@victorhernandez8723]

“Thank you! Thank you very much!”

[@victorhernandez8723]

“Ladies and gentlemen, the Elves have left the building!”

[@stephen3164]

1:40 - Oh, I’ve seen this movie before! Or at least a modern remake, and it was a young buxom blonde who needed her shoe fixed and she didn’t have any money. “Well, let’s see what we can do!”, said the shoemaker. Uh, wasn’t much dialogue after that… you know, maybe it was a different movie. Did have a group of elves in scene two though… 🤷‍♂️

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@HoChiMints2007]

"Arigatou bye-bye oba-san" how cute

[@mortua_conjuga]

the "strange language" is actually just japanese 😂

[@insertclevername4123]

Wait, the fairy prince was so grateful that he sent the shoemaker a merry band of slaves?

[@kktallman6257]

Now hold on there, nobody said they were slaves! For all you know, the Fairy Prince contracted them for this work!

[@insertclevername4123]

@@kktallman6257 Now I'm thinking of the Slurm episode from Futurama: "They think they have a good union, but they don't...they're basically slaves."

[@ramseydoon8277]

3:18 woo! Shoutouts to laudenum!

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@ramseydoon8277]

@@noahasencio8589 thanks what?

[@shadowjudge921]

Such disturbing stop-motion. If I were watching this without the riff, I'd be terrified.

[@andyjay729]

Was this the same studio that produced those Rankin-Bass Christmas specials? Yes folks, those were actually produced in Japan. Does that technically make them (and this) anime? Oh, and that "mystical language" the elves are singing? It was Japanese, if you listen closely.

[@libby423]

Not the same studio; that was MOM Studio led by Tadahito Mochinaga. The only reason I know this is bc I went to an exhibit with a bunch of his puppets including Santa and a reindeer from Rudolph!

[@EdwardClayMeow]

Fantastic moral lesson at the end there

[@AdrianColley]

Yes, as our grandparents instructed us, and as we will surely pass it on to our own witless descendants: all rights are indeed reserved.

[@SkolneyVikings]

"The Elfin Centipede" 😂😂😂😂

[@hurdygurdyguy1]

“I don’t have any money to pay you…” “I’ll see what I can do.” Good business model, no wonder he’s poor… 8:44 … “Die, evil shoe! DIE!”

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@chrisc6857]

In the actual original version of this fairy tale the shoemaker doesn't live happily ever after because when he offers gifts to repay the elves for their help they get offended and leave. Apparently, the elves felt it was wrong of him to NOT want to treat them as unpaid slave labor. 'Cause yeah, let's be honest, most genuine, as originally written fairy tale morals are jacked up.

[@PhilBagels]

It's actually a story about learning the powers of 2. The original version has them keep going until they make 1024 pairs of shoes in one night.

[@HVACSoldier]

“A Corney Film,” as we used to say, when I was in school.

[@Cole.....]

6:30 I thought this was going to go in a Trouble With Tribbles direction, with the shoemaker waist-deep in shoes.

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@thedinobeaver]

My buns of steel videos!

[@particularbored6072]

Curious what Space Mutiny has to do with this lol.

[@thedinobeaver]

@@particularbored6072Golden Corral’s new slogan

[@thinkfloyd2594]

lesson of a life time - 'don't give your elf viagra' mike nelson

[@mclovin6829]

I had to come back for a rewatch. I had the elves demonic chant stuck in my head all day at work...

[@theboombody]

I love these shorts. I could watch them unriffed. But riffing is always preferred.

[@jessicap7889]

Realized partway in that this could literally have the same opening line as most Japanese folktales 昔々、ある所にお爺さんとお婆さんがおりました。 (A long time ago, there lived an old man and an old woman.) It’s like cultural fusion going on here

[@jessicap7889]

“The tiny little elves” are zashiki-warashi localized for a boomer Western audience calling it now.

[@markditoro8836]

My favorite adaptation of this legend remains Friz Freling's Yankee Dood It. Required viewing for all corporate CEO's.

[@shannon3699]

creepiest thing i've ever seen at 8:03. otherwise, love this one. hilarious. i always look forward to rifftrax xmas shorts

[@darkridearts]

It’s even better at .25x speed

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@davidwilson3568]

I swear the singing of the elves sounds like the pork trio.

[@diannemose244]

3:20 and the laudum cocktail is kicking in 😂

[@Merylstreep1949]

Never had enough money for leather was totally untouched which surprised me to no end....oh riffers you're off your game😢😢😢

[@ramseydoon8277]

1:34 I'm worried that maybe it's only because I'm so warped that these puppetous things aren't causing me to run in fright from my phone.

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@TheBattlesword]

How do we live a world with two classic Christmas tales that were done better by the Muppets?

[@YolandaAnneBrown95726]

Nothing like enjoying the holidays with the awesome team at RiffTrax! Now who's ready for the Star Wars Holiday Special? Got the 420 and beer ready for that!

[@JamaicanCastle]

7:19 They're just rehearsing for their hit single about pork.

[@Tinyironfist]

The 2nd anime to be riffed by Rifftrax.

[@phillip5245]

The Most Beautiful Girl and Most Handsome Boy in All of the Village were both totally secure in their elevated status due purely to their aesthetically pleasing looks. They didn't feel any emptiness inside nor pressure to marry due to their superficial beauty, thanks for asking. After all, they both have a nice pair of shiny new shoes, what else could you possibly want between two people that are supposed to love each other for who they truly are deep down inside?

[@jasonmaclean719]

Just watched the Coronet Christmas Carol done by rifftrax. Not sure which one made me laugh harder.

[@sgtmajor5700]

Then the fairy prince tested a local pizza place to see how nice they were.

[@graemesmith6721]

4:10 I recognize that music! It's from Gamera vs. Guiron!

[@elderlypoodle9181]

Puppet wedding..!! 👍😂

[@BrianLancaster]

CASH CAB IS REALZ!!!!

[@SlingersSanctuary]

@11:20 writing on cake translated to "thank you, kobito-san" and "dwarf gato"

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@jeffreybasker5810]

Well. That was a story...

[@caucasoidape8838]

In old mythology, Gods/fairies et cetera, rewarded people who were charitable to others. Thus, the shoemaker was selling his shoes at a very low price, or even giving them away.

[@cujoedaman]

I absolutely love how there is not a single story to be told here :D

[@jamesanthony8438]

Odd that everyone in the village have the exact, same shoe size. Well, _it was_ made in Japan. Maybe it's a Japanese thing. 12:17 ♪ A-with a record selection and the mirror's reflection ♪ ♪ I'm a dancin' with my el-elf ♪ Thanks, guys! Lots of good riffs in this one =)

[@kanna-san.]

​@@fromthecheapseats7126that was a Chinese thing

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@darklordumbreon]

Who else got the elves' song stuck in their head now?

[@boskostoybox]

I'm kind of mad that the title gives away the spoiler of there being elves. Keep me guessing on who was making the shoes.

[@SiiriCressey]

9:15 Is that elf hammering in screws?

[@noahasencio8589]

Thanks 😊

[@SiiriCressey]

@@noahasencio8589 For what?

[@kradz5172]

Thanks for making my day better with these. It's silly how comforting they are. Now pretend I said something witty to offset the sappy niceties.