Rise of Skywalker: A Complete Cinematic Failure

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, what a truly incredible trainwreck. Watch the uncensored version of this video at / thevitoshow .
In this movie, co-writers J.J. Abrams and Chris Terrio demonstrate their complete inability to craft anything even resembling a meaningful (or coherent) plotline, forever cementing the fate of the most spectacular franchise failure in history. Six months out from this farce, with the blackness knocking on our doors, let's take a closer look at everything that went wrong.
In part one, we examine how Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy allowed the Skywalker Saga to fail from hour one, by not laying out a competent framework for the trilogy.
In part two, we take a look at how this movie retcons Rian Johnson’s Star Wars: The Last Jedi, with a gotcha mentality that pranks the audience.
In part three, we see the tragic loss of Carrie Fisher, and discuss a more fitting tribute for Princess Leia. Perhaps one akin to Yondu in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2?
Part four is all about fetch quests, and how the plot of this movie is structured like a bad Final Fantasy game.
Part five we meet the Knights of Ren, the most boring characters ever.
Part six, the rushed pacing of this Star Wars Episode IX movie script and how it ruins many a scene.
Part seven and we must discuss the return of Emperor Palpatine. How did Sheev return? Who knows!?
Part eight? Time for some BABU FRIK!
Part nine and Palpatine’s fleet of first order Star Destroyers (sorry, final order Star Destroyers) is examined. Who built these things!?
Part ten we discuss the character of Finn, the rogue stormtrooper played by John Boyega.
Part eleven and it’s the thrilling battle for Exegol! What a terrible scene!
Part twelve and it’s time to discuss Kylo Ren, played by Adam Driver. Why was Kylo ren evil? Why did he do away with Han Solo? We may never know…
Part thirteen and it’s time to meet REY SKYWALKER as played by Daisy Ridley. The Rise of Skywalker ending is quite a nightmare to behold!
The Rise of Skywalker: A Complete Cinematic Failure. Episode IX.
►PATREON: / thevitoshow
►MERCH: killdozer.industries
►TWITCH: / thevitoshow
►TWITTER: / vitocomedy
Music:
Almost Bliss, Batty McFaddin, Bittersweet, Club Seamus, Disco Con Tutti, Laser Groove, Leopard Print Elevator, Reunited, Shaving Mirror, Summon the Rawk, Too Cool, Wagon Wheel, Who Likes to Party.
All Written by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Chapters
0:00 Spoiler Warning
0:09 Opening
2:12 Chapter 1 - Kathleen Kennedy & The No-Good Very Bad Plan
6:51 Chapter 2 - Star Wars: The Last Gotcha
14:05 Chapter 3 - Sleep Well, My Cocaine Princess
17:49 Chapter 4 - Fetch Quest: The Motion Picture
21:41 Chapter 5 - The Knights of Boring
23:12 Chapter 6 - Dragonball Time
26:20 Chapter 7 - Rey's Magic Grandpa
30:36 Chapter 8 - Babu Frik Rules
30:43 Chapter 9 - Palpatine's Stupid Star Destroyers
35:06 Intermission
36:00 Chapter 10 - Finn Done Dirty
38:30 Chapter 11 - Never Tell Me the Odds
41:19 Chapter 12 - The Tragedy of Ben Solo
48:08 Chapter 13 - Palpatine's Plan Makes No Sense
48:39 Chapter 13 - Palpatine Dies Like a B
50:12 Chapter 14 - The Rise of Rey Skywalker
55:22 Chapter 15 - The Death of Star Wars
58:35 PLEASE LIKE & SUBSCRIBE

[@vito]

This video consumed about three months of my life. I hope it was worth it! To watch the uncensored cut, head to www.patreon.com/thevitoshow.

[@erik9830]

How long is the video?

[@haikoheinz7359]

i´m sure it was - can´t wait!!

[@ballaiy2003]

I can't waiiiittttttt

[@fernandocaballero9830]

It's a rantgasm three months in the making.

[@vito]

@@erik9830 an hour long

[@dumpmuch]

I was watching this movie on an airplane and people still walked out...

[@pittland44]

You win the internet for today. Well done.

[@Mrlolly]

Why does it say that this comment was from 27 years ago

[@justjake385]

@@Mrlolly it’s his name lmao

[@denistyy]

Enough internet for me today, I reached my goal

[@HEAVYDIAPER]

Hahahahahahhahaha

[@timefallfarmer3912]

Disney had Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher and they didn't put them together on screen. Let that sink in.

[@rkitchen69]

It's a tragedy.

[@hankjones4692]

That actually didn't sink in until you brought it up.

[@samuelstephens6904]

Carrie Fisher died and Harrison Ford has a difficult relationship with Star Wars. You can't really blame the trio not being on screen together on any creative decision given the circumstances.

[@MiguelCruz-oz7km]

@@samuelstephens6904 JJ could have put them onscreen together in TFA. He already knew that Ford was one and done with that one. And yet he didn't think it was important that Luke and Han have at least one scene together.

[@samuelstephens6904]

@@MiguelCruz-oz7km -"JJ could have put them onscreen together in TFA" Nah. It's too soon. Having Luke be this mythical figure that is built-up works better, especially when TLJ challenges those ideas. Waiting for the third movie to have them all on screen together would have been better. But Harrison Ford ain't gonna stick around that long. And then Carrie Fisher died. It just wasn't meant to be. I'm okay with it though. The moments we did get with them were nice. Maybe we could have had a better send-off if George Lucas hadn't made the prequels and these movies were made a decade earlier. Such is life.

[@J-Hue]

The fact that the rise of Skywalker ends with the death of the Skywalker bloodline and replaces them with a Palpatine is the ultimate example of not understanding your own premise.

[@rafikicasanueva6]

And the worst part is that the title itself is called “Rise of SKYWALKER”! But it ends with a Palpatine being alive and all the Skywalker family gone

[@dogliker23]

​@@rafikicasanueva6Image if they made an entire sequel to this where they showed this movie was actually just a dream in Kylo's mind and then they redo the entire ending to this beloved trilogy. Not gonna lie, I would pay to see something like that 😂

[@rafikicasanueva6]

@@dogliker23 that would be lovely! But i honestly would’ve preferred more that in the ending Kylo/Ben Solo survived instead of Rey, because if that will ever be the case, it would actually be the RISE OF SKYWALKER!

[@Popepaladin]

So in your opinion a core message of original Star Wars is that bloodlines and family names are more important than friendships built on common goals and values?

[@J-Hue]

@Popepaladin I just think that if they're gonna name a movie "Rise if Skywalker," it should be about the rise of a Skywalker. If you make a movie called "The Rise of Stevie Wonder" and then make the movie about Stevie Nicks, I'm gonna be looking at you funny.

[@SuperTonyony]

What they did to Luke in the sequel trilogy is unforgivable.

[@billolsen4360]

I just figure Hamill didn't know what the production was going to turn into or he's a real bad money-manager and need to take this gig.

[@Avalon_1991]

Mark Hamill signed up when George Lucas was still in charge and had seen George Lucas's story which he really liked. He couldn't break his contract.

[@billolsen4360]

@@Avalon_1991 He could have broken it, otherwise it would amount to involuntary servitude forcing him to act, which was outlawed by the 13th amendment. See the Olivia de Havilland decision. It may have cost him to refuse to perform, but he couldn't be compelled to.

[@vizion007]

I couldn't agree more! What a tragedy! We know he struggled internally with the script i.e., "this is not Luke", and something compelled him to acquiesce to the production, I hope perhaps one day he reveals more. I suspect he hoped in something...

[@wastelandlegocheem]

When even Hamil says he hates it, you know you fucked up. Here's hoping the Clone Wars crew gets to make the next movies that retcon this entire trilogy

[@IgnisRex64]

Don't forget, it's not only Luke's lightsaber Rey buries. It's Anakin's. So she buried Anakin's lightsaber on the planet he was born and raised a slave, watched his mother die, slaughtered a whole tribe of people, and in the substance he hates most: sand

[@DaMaster012]

And then she steals Luke's last name. The most memorable and influential protagonist in modern fiction had his legacy pulverized into oblivion so the most execrable exemplification of a Mary Sue since Bella Swan could take his place. I would call the Disney Corporation/Darth Kennedy "Star Wars" sequel trilogy bad fan fiction, but that would be a disservice to even bad fan fiction; those stories don't get multi-picture, multi-million dollar movie deals and get treated as canon. (Except Fifty Shades of Grey, but no sane human being likes those.) I speak no hyperbole when I say I've read My Little Pony fan fiction that was incomparably better written and more respectful to their source material than the monstrosities Darth Kennedy, Jar Jar Abrams, and Ruin Johnson shit into existence are.. TFA, TLJ, and TRoS are three movies that extol the virtues of murdering your ancestors and stealing their valor.

[@DraculaCronqvist]

@@DaMaster012 Couldn't have said it better myself. That comment needs to be preserved for future generations... Unlike the Sequels, whose every trace of existence should be wiped from the face of this, and every other, galaxy.

[@aidancarney6315]

Luke’s time on Tatooine also stunk. It represented hopelessness for him, a dead end in his life, and of course he saw the only family he ever knew get burned to a crisp. Thematically, tatooine is always perceived as basically a bad place for the characters. It’s only in TROS because the audience recognizes it; it is significant to us, but irrelevant to this story and to Rey. It’s very clear that JJ does not think too highly of the audience’s intellect.

[@lifetodamax]

@@DaMaster012 well said. Yeah with fan fiction the writer at least loves the source material. Disney loved money they could make. Johnson loved being unpredictable to a wasteful extent. Now I love hating these movies. The circle is complete.

[@lifetodamax]

@ignisrex64 heh heh...sand.

[@cbowser3]

The Sequel Trilogy isn’t canon.

[@purestmelody6285]

God, that’d be nice.

[@cheeselover4379]

I honestly agree. They ruined too much for me to accept them as canon

[@RaheemRollair]

I will consent to that comment immensely.

[@zealousdoggo]

The sequels were in cannon but then we fired the cannon

[@geraldcleveland6207]

@Zealous Doggo nah it was never canon

[@ayejay2457]

It’s really too bad that there are only 6 starwars movies… I really wish they would’ve made more after episode 6. Real shame we will never know what becomes of Luke.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

Yep, just like I wish they'd made more than one season of _Star Trek: Picard._

[@coltonwhite2518]

Well, there is the expanded universe before the -corporate sanctioned theft and purge- .

[@tommybell1786]

I know what you mean, but for me there's only 3.

[@clanker2821]

@@tommybell1786really? I could have sworn there was 4, there was this one really good prequel film and a tie in show.

[@franze4]

@@tommybell1786lmaoo fr how’d the empire become the empire and how’d darth sidious and darth vader get power then🤣

[@chucklapine6782]

The biggest crime of the sequel trilogy is that they squandered the last chance to see the original characters on screen for the last time.

[@allenharper2928]

Yup. That pic that showed Luke, Han, Leia, Chewy, and Landon in the cockpit of the Falcon still hurts to see. The "what might have been".

[@jeremy4375]

The biggest crime is that Lucas could've had his cake and ate it too. Imagine a sequel trilogy out in '99, when the OT characters still looked like themselves vs. plastic surgery. Imagine a prequel trilogy put out in 2015, when the CGI really started to get good. Sellout to Disney in '20...get a Darth Revan storyline... Doesn't that timeline sound nice? 🤠👍 * edit spelling

[@_.gayathrimohan._]

wow the roast of the movie is more interesting than the movie itself

[@stuff31]

Medium rare with cranberry sauce

[@WestCoastShredders]

nah go to @E;R

[@stz128]

it's the true entertainment value of Disney Star Wars

[@clank4001]

28:45 is more entertaining than the whole seq trilogy haha

[@129das]

that every roast of this movie and of the last movie, even of the movie before.

[@Milllmill]

It’s kinda crazy how we never got a scene with Luke, Leia, and Han

[@vito]

Yeah lol. What a disaster.

[@bradhedgehog12]

Vito That’s for sure dude

[@AlexsFerrari]

Disaster from Jar Jar abrams

[@brandonandujar2289]

Kathleen Kennedy literally didnt allow Luke to be in Force Awakens cause he would upstage Rey

[@bossfire2515]

Even when we never see Leia or Luke properly react to Han’s death and have Rose react to someone we don’t even know instead... yeah

[@BasementPepperoni]

"Imagine getting a job at Subway, and after 3 days of employee training you ask the Manager if you can be his son." LOLOLOLOL!! I just smashed my face into my keyboard no less than 50 times from laughing so hard!

[@tylerthompson1842]

I feel bad for Mark he’s the only one who genuinely seemed to love and care about his role and they completely biffed it

[@travisvanalst4698]

Both John Boyega and Daisy showed disdain for how the films were handled. There was an outline of each character created by JJ, but JJ left Rian to create whatever he wanted and Daisy described that she had a problem with this. I do think that most of the cast really wanted these movies to work.

[@Jack_Stafford]

I don't feel sorry for him. Actors have an amazing power... they can refuse to play the part. Or if they are in some kind of contract they can intentionally do it badly until changes to the character are made, if they really cared about their character or story that much. It was just a Payday for Mark and it always has been. His opinion has often changed depending on the audience, he has publicly said things that he later contradicted, so he is just another flaky Hollywood actor, completely out of touch with his fans.

[@soupgirl1871]

​@@Jack_Stafford you got a source on that claim?

[@philliprisgaard6394]

@@Jack_Staffordbruh thats the weakest argument, the only thing these movies has going for them is the good acting, if the actors were to do it badly purposefully, it would only make the movies worse, but if thats what you want, sure. The actors gave their best to make these movies somewhat watchable, they deserve respect for that

[@brandon27025]

​@@Jack_StaffordHey buddy! Fun fact, if you don't know how anything in the world works, you can just say that. Hope that helps!

[@nightmonkey9748]

Anakin when he’s building C-3P0: “Alright mom, he’s almost finished. Just need to update him to prevent him from translating ancient Sith language in accordance with Republic Law”

[@mr.barcode3186]

In all fairness, I actually didn't see an issue with that plotline. The idea behind them erasing 3-P0's memory is that it would reset him to his original state (that being, when he was build by Anakin), and that the restrictions on Sith translations were added later, probably when he came into Padme's service. 3-P0 even says: "I believe the law [against translating Sith writing] was passed by the senate of the Old Republic." This makes sense to me, as I doubt the Jedi Order would want just anyone to be able to translate Sith writing.

[@VelvetMagician]

Mr. Barcode That sounds very plausible actually

[@GrizzlyTank]

Didn’t they reprogram him at the end of the prequel?

[@sammcdermott78]

GrizzlyTank they wiped his memory but they could e done that as well

[@Desyx14]

@@mr.barcode3186 Why would he speak sith in the first place though? What Translation Device would have Sith pre-loaded on it? Translators are common software across the galaxy so I'd assume they're all probably built by the same corp. Anakin built C-3PO from the scraps he scavenged on Tatooine. Idk how in the hell a sith language program would be there. Somehow it seems really not plausible whatsoever that a clone wars era scrap droid would've been pre-loaded with sith. Hell I think it's nearly amazing he can speak galactic basic fluently.

[@batfitch4207]

The sequels are a fever dream Han Solo had during his time frozen in carbonite

[@torgejh9189]

That is what I'm gonna keep telling myself from now on to forget this steaming pile of trash was ever considered canon.

[@chasehedges6775]

Truer words have never been spoken.

[@senorbolainas2991]

No no thoose are the nightmares of Anakin of ep3

[@linkthepig4219]

Y e s

[@doncorleole2356]

I’m telling myself that Luke got a little too drunk at the Endor party and had a bad dream, but I like your version

[@countof3everybodyOD]

It was very nice of the Knights of Ren to wait to try until he had a lightsaber…and it was very nice of you to not mention that the reason he didn’t have a lightsaber is because he threw away his red joint for literally no reason other than to be unarmed so Rey could teleport him one

[@MaxAbramson3]

Why the hell does everyone throw away their light saber right before Palpitatine electricutes them? I mean, that's got to be written in one of those jedi texts somewhere!

[@mdruben]

The fact that Rey has no arc, that she is so powerful from the beginning without any training it befuddles me. No redemption qualities. No flaws. Nothing to buildup.

[@DemonicRemption]

@mdruben Yeah Rey is a token female in a franchise she's meant to lead. Have fun with that train of thought...

[@mix3k818]

Rey burying that lightsaber in sand is the ultimate insult to Anakin.

[@amberdeyuliis7886]

This whole trilogy is an insult to Anakin and his character arch

[@vhscopyofseinfeld]

@@amberdeyuliis7886 and Luke

[@caixote123]

@@vhscopyofseinfeld and all the other characters

[@smolneko9294]

what about taking his last name for her own? especially *after* she buried the saber?

[@raafeyplayz7015]

@@smolneko9294 that too

[@kununity]

Disney's fanfiction is all about Rey beating everyone: Better pilot than Poe, better sidekick than Finn, better "chosen one" than Anakin, more powerful than Palpatine, better at understanding and finding weird McGuffin artifacts than Luke... Not to mention Rey steals Luke's lightsaber, home, X-Wing, power AND FUCKING LAST NAME.

[@esecallum]

She is boring plain Jane.wooden...

[@Treblaine]

She's in her 20's on Jaku... why doesn't she already have a surname? If you don't have a surname then pick one.

[@Jops00]

Treblaine .... “solo...”

[@mrtony80]

It's a shame. There was nothing Finn was better than Rey at. She outclassed him from beginning to end. They really fucked up with how they handled Finn, among others. Finn should have been so much more badass.

[@MinuteLeech2]

Self-insert writers trying to make their OC one-up everyone else.

[@goatsmiserable555]

I reject any of Disneys “canon”… there was already a wonderful expanded universe with books and comics that puts Disney’s amateur fan fiction to shame… just because they say their story is canon doesn’t mean we have to buy into it … they didn’t earn it

[@minecrafter3448]

This is your magnum opus. The pinnacle of your reviewing skill combined with masterful control over humor. This review is better planned out than the entire sequel trilogy, and it doesn’t even have a story.

[@citogonzalez8177]

Rey: I’m a skywalker Fans: so it’s treason then

[@realzacharycrook]

Oh, we're using "fake" names! 😅

[@zurdddtk3025]

@Mi Ke You mean Mary Sue*

[@hellol1023]

Why does she even think that her name is Rey Skywalker? It makes no sense

[@Treblaine]

How is she a Skywalker? She met one - once - bickered and argued with him for a weekend then left in frustration having learned and achieved NOTHING. If anything she's Rey Organa which is Princess Leia's surname and Leia practically adopted Rey.

[@sirinherrscherofvoid.chose2235]

Vorname _u Yeah, wait if she’s a Palpatine then how is she related to Skywalker besides Anakin being related to Palpatine by being his minion

[@bossfan49]

This hour long rant was more engaging and more coherent than all 3 movies.

[@teacherdoug4438]

I haven't watched RoS and I just caught the last three quarters of TLJ while hanging out in a hostel common area after New Years, but I've probably watched 12 hours of youtube videos destroying both movies.

[@TripleA332]

The scene where Leia just flies around in the middle of space when the ship cockpit gets blown up is so goofy and bad it cracks me up

[@DavidThomasFilms]

Snoke might actually be my favorite character of the Sequel Trilogy since he practically represents it entirely. He starts off big and mysterious, making you wonder about the potential of where it all leads to, only to end up as nothing inside a cloning tank of Sith urine.

[@WintersWar]

while disney and the cast have to pretend it's a wonderful film. we don't. you know who lost some cred to me, ian mcdiarmid. I know i wouldn't turn down a fortune either for the role, but he did diminish the character, and before that movie, it was an awesome character, now taken down a few pegs.

[@zacmaserarti5798]

U are very accurate

[@elfabusss3287]

And, just like this trilogy, was killed for no reason but then it is said that it doesn't matter:"we have a lot more to replace him"

[@alfredvickers4054]

Whether one likes the theory or not, at least Snoke being Darth Plagueis would have had potential and tied the new trilogy to the prequels in addition to the OT, and been less likely to undermine the existing storyline from the previous trilogies. Rian Johnson was so smug and superior ("Your Snoke theory sucks!"), yet instead of doing anything interesting, he tore the character (and the franchise with him) into pieces.

[@kossend1]

One could say something similar of Luke Skywalker. He started out as the juggernaut we last saw with huge expectations of what he has become in the interim and then after building up those expectations even further, each and every one of them was subverted until we ended up with a broken, diminished husk of the character we loved, before a rushed and unconvincing apology.

[@matchungo8048]

This trilogy fits together like those celebrities singing imagine

[@FixingDisneyStarWars]

#truth

[@nillynush4899]

and just as cringe.

[@Alicat0314]

That’s just facts man

[@dzhellek]

Ow! I had erased that from my mind. Now it hurts all over again.

[@RedRocket415]

DisinterestedYak and has as much logic and brainpower as a “Reopen Michigan” rally

[@Schizniit]

When Mark Hamil, one of the kindest actors in the entire industry is warning us about JJ, you know it's bad. Mark can usually make things good, but even though he tried to save these movies, he knew he couldn't.

[@magivenderstudios]

Yes , he made an interview about this that he warned us about the last jedi .

[@Maladjester]

He could have helped by not being in them.

[@ThunderGenesis]

The two kids playing with Star Wars analogy was spot on and brilliant. 👌🏻

[@jonas7318]

Rey buried Anakin's lightsaber in the sand even though Anakin hates sand.

[@FilmsNerf2]

Its cold, coarse, and rough. And it gets everywhere. Now its all over his lightsaber.

[@totallyanonymousbish9599]

Not just sand. THE sand!

[@vernusred4757]

"I don't like sand" is stupid phrase but you forget the message of the ending scene Rey buried Leia's lightsaber with her Father lightsaber on planet where Anakin was born and where Luke grew up. If you don't like scene it's your problem because ending scene in movie is not sopouse to be as many expect it to be.

[@totallyanonymousbish9599]

vernus red Her father's lightsaber, that that somehow still there lmao

[@eachasteriod1334]

vernus red it’s stupid she buried anakin’s lightsaber in a place he hates and Leia’s lightsaber in a place she didn’t grow up.

[@skeletorrobo]

Kathleen Kennedy: The main thing is to protect these characters... End result. Han stabbed, Luke vaporised and Leia griefed.

[@tanith117]

Chewie, Well he's okay but he really didn't do much, 3PO Mind wiped, R2 Actually not sure, I barely saw him in 7 and 8 and heard nothing about him doing anything in 9. So 1/3 of the cast is okay, not a passing grade.

[@gbrogo7139]

USS Prinz Eugen 3po got his mind back

[@elah1023]

Remember: the main thing for Di$ney is to protect their income.

[@kollegedenkfehler2290]

Exactly. Lie right in the face. She brought them all back JUST to make sure,. that she surely DESTROYED them all… amazing 😤

[@brentc2411]

Imagine if Rey had fallen to the dark side in episode 8, while Kilo had made the decision to seek redemption in the light, and the complex story that would potentially unfold as Kilo, the man who basically murdered 5 planets, wants to fight for the Resistance to stop the Darkside force that has filled the vacuum left by the Sith, lead by Rey.

[@Dancingontgesun1942]

Oh my God I'm only 10 minutes in and this is one of the best Star wars reviews on KZbin all time , I'm on the floor laughing

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Also try "MauLer" and "Little Platoon" channels if you like Star Wars longform critique + humor!

[@pacoramon9468]

So: -Palpatine was still alive -The New Republic was a failure that was eliminated by a Neonazi group in a few days -The Jedi Order is still gone -Han Solo die as a smuggler -Anakin didn't bring back balance to the force. -Anybody can create weapons that destroy planets nowadays. The sequel triology makes the originals feel pointless.

[@Dogedogee]

Technically, it was the First Order who had hidden in the Unknown region for 30 years. So it can legitimize a lot of things. Starkiller base which is a planet, Illum. In Jedi: Fallen Ordrer we already see some imperial facilities and everything. But I can't defend the fact that the Jedi Order is still absent despite the horizon provided by Episode 6. Han Solo's death was not necessary it's been 5 years now and I still cry but it was essential to the character development of Ben.

[@rolkflameraven1483]

@@Dogedogee Wait, what? Starkiller is freeking Illum?!? Oh, FFS what more desecrations are they going to do to the old EU?

[@Dogedogee]

@@rolkflameraven1483 Yes it is...

[@timothye.2902]

@@rolkflameraven1483 yea SKB being Illum makes it even worse because Illum is A) a place sacred to the Jedi order. And B) a place where you can obtain crystals with which to make lightsabers. Which means we are lead to believe that in the decades of time between the fall of the Empire and the activation of SKB that Luke never visited that place or had anyone else even check up on it as he attempted to re-establish the Jedi Order. It also means that no one, Jedi related or not, bothered to even take a cursory glance at a planet that was well known in the universe and on most if not all star charts, even as it experienced enough traffic needed to turn it into a weapon 4 times more powerful than the most powerful weapon ever conceived.

[@paulturbo7563]

Pretty much.

[@ginghinaandrei5013]

Rey : buries Anakin's lightsaber in sand. Anakin: *dark side rage scream*

[@user-us4pl5di7s]

@@stefod3052 damn you beat me to it

[@whiterabbit75]

"I hate Mary Sues. They're coarse, rough, and they get into everything."

[@johnwitek4891]

@@stefod3052 YOU WERE THE ADOPTED ONE!! YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO PASS DOWN THE LIGHTLABER TO YOUR CHILDREN NOT LEAVE IT IN SAND!!!

[@lukemoses7827]

yOu MEaN rEy’S LiGhTSaBER. I’m kidding

[@marcsonic01]

@@flynnjacobs9752 It’s coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere.

[@denistardif6650]

Yondu's death is something else "he might have been your father boy, but he wasn't your daddy" my dad died one year ago and I still can't watch that scene anymore.

[@totterdell]

Palpatine somehow assembled a secret cult of 8 million people to f**** the Sh** out of each other and build spaceships - emperor palpatine ladies and gentlemen the greatest motivator in the history of the universe - that killed me XD

[@calvinmatthews1527]

When you realize Disney deserves ALL the hate it gets.

[@ElveeKaye]

I'm quite happy to watch Disney collapse in a heap of smoking ruins.

[@wasifiqbal9984]

Me: Ahh... let the hate flow through you!

[@Runmindor]

They did make CW season 7 and the Mandalorian, two of the most solid star wars productions so far imo, so I personally ignore the failure of the sequels just for that reason.

[@DrewPicklesTheDark]

Disney sold what little soul it had left around the turn of the Millennia when Roy Disney passed. Now it's just the usual corporate suspects running another corporation.

[@hehehehheheheh9127]

@@Runmindor Rogue One was rly good aswell

[@markrezk9775]

I was more excited for this video than I was for the actual movie.

[@wmb1628]

Same here honestly , when i saw the thumbnail i was like ' oh wow he actually made one of these for rise too!'

[@sunekoo]

Still haven’t seen it

[@thebigpig2364]

I was anticipating this video before the movie was even here

[@draw_ki_]

LOL

[@osodeanteojosyt]

True, for this and other videos too

[@tugkanberk]

thank god i have my own headcanon in my delulu brain imagine having to accept ALL of that as canon 💀

[@shinobi6497]

My suspension of disbelief, was suspended from a noose

[@jonathangetachew1522]

This trilogy is so insulting to the original movies it's honestly mindblowing when you stop to think about it.

[@thor3432]

It's not.

[@matthewkrieg8068]

Yep, because JJ cannot make a good script and Rian just forced his own story into star wars and be damned if it makes no sense

[@mirusso]

Wow you never left your parents basement. #sad

[@jonathangetachew1522]

@@thor3432 By the end of this trilogy, Luke, Leia, and Han are all dead, plus Luke was an asshole and a coward before he died. Palpatine is still alive, therefore making Vader's sacrifice in vein The granddaughter of Palpatine is still alive, while the Skywalker's are all dead, there is no one with Skywalker blood alive at the moment, and she takes the Skywalker name If that's not insulting to you, then I truly envy you.

[@mitthrawnuruodo3632]

Matthew Krieg I think that if JJ did the visuals, but someone with sense had done the scripts, 7 would have been better. Someone else should have made 8, probably the same person who made the scripts to 7 so it makes sense. Then 9 would actually make sense, and would be a good ending to the saga. To top it all off, have JJ doing visuals with somebody else making sure they make sense, and then the sequels could possibly be good. Either way, they would be better than what we were given.

[@martinmareiniss3784]

When rey died for like two seconds me and the entire theater was clapping

[@neteyam04]

yes :D

[@neteyam04]

Thank you!

[@ryanred1525]

G O O D

[@luckoftheirish5662]

r/thatHappened

[@D00DM00D]

I love democracy

[@kan-zee]

*_DISNEY has made_* : *Luke Skywalker* (Male Character) a *COMPLETE FAILURE* 1) Failed as a Moisture Farm boy, and abandons his only family, who were murdered ; He leaves his home to seek Adventure. 2) Failed as an independent (Mary Sue) character, as he was co-dependant on his friends aid, to succeed in all his missions. 3) Failed as a Jedi Master /Instructor for his first Student (Grogu) & was trusted with Leia’s son Ben Solo , as he failed to kill him and then Abandons Ben Solo (who turned to the darkside “Kylo Ren”, to become a mentally unstable mass murdering puppet of Snoke) He failed to realize their was a darkness rising in Kylo 4) Failed to start up a new jedi academy....his 12 students + Kylo.. betray him and he becomes a galactic victim and He quits the 1000 generations of jedi traditions of peace and justice. (sounds familiar , when the POPE resigned from his job as head of the Church, in 2012 feb) 5) Luke continues to Fail a) Failed his family on Tatooine..they were murdered b) Failed his jedi test at the Dark Side Cave on Dagobah c) Failed his training with Yoda / didn’t complete it. d) Failed to assassinate Jabba the Hut and put into a Rancor Pit. e) Failed to Defeat Vadar and got his Hand cut off. e) Failed to face off and kill the Emperor, and throws his lightsaber away. f) Failed as a Trusted loyal Friend to the Rebels, as they are Killed off by the Empire, Kylo Murders his dad; Han. Princess Leia is almost murdered by her son Kylo. Hundreds of Rebels die in battles. Not once is he there to help save them. 6) Failed as a Family man (to Han, Chewbacca, Ben, Leia, Ben Kenobi and RTD2 etc) and Failed as a brother to Leia in her struggle to fight the Empire. 7) Failed as a Jedi and lived for years in Fear , as a Hermit on an isolated island (He is suicidal and wants to Die) and accomplishes NOTHING. 8) Tries to burn down last remnants of Jedi knowledge…so Yoda sends a lightning bolt and destroys it, for him. 9) Luke cuts himself off, from the Force. 10) Failed as a Teacher to Rey Palpatine, and doesn’t pass on the torch to her. He Was defeated easily by Rey in Combat training on island. 11) Fails at helping to save Rey from Kylo, his nephew and student. 12) Luke obtains a new force power ..”Hologram Force Projection” which he uses against Kylo, and it costs him his life. (Luke gets his wish…to DIE) 13) Lukes legacy is …He was supported & helped all through his young life , to be a success, only to face a singular defeat with his jedi school and he quit , and stopped helping anyone for years, while they died, carrying on the good fight against the Empire. Luke will be remembered as a Depressed , Weak, Lonely, Irresponsible , Disconnected ,Fearfilled Old Man with PTSD and NO HOPE. LUKE ends up representing *Nihilism* (the rejection of all religious and moral principles, in the belief that life is meaningless.) (Thanks a lot Krazy Kathleen Kennedy, for crushing all Hope and influencing the next generation into a Sick direction of Betrayal & Familicide.) ************************************************************************ *Rey* ?? Palpatine ?? Skywalker ?? Sidous ?? (GIRL BOSS Female Character) is a *COMPLETE SUCCESS* 1) Successful Survivor as a Scavenger all her life. 2) Rey knows how to fly the old Millennium Falcon Freighter ship like a pro, with no history of training or flying. 3) Rey is instantly good at speaking Robot languages and Wookie language. 4) Rey doesn’t need to train and build her own lightsaber…She instantly finds Anakins lightsaber and she claims it. 4) Rey has amazing Swordsmanship and Combat Skills (without training) and Succeeds in surviving a Lightsaber duel against a Jedi Trained , Kylo Ren. 5) With no Training whats’ so ever, Effortlessly resist the mind control of her captor, Kylo and Rey is an instant success with Jedi mind control and mind projection into Kylo . 6) She Succeeds in Beating the most powerful Jedi alive , in combat training (aka Luke Skywalker) Then she beats up 4 guys without losing her breath. 7) Rey is never Challenged or put to the Test, yet Succeeds in having the Rebellion trust her to find Luke where no one in the rebellion or First Order would and she is the most Powerful Jedi in only a short time (under Leia’s tutelage). Mind you Leia gave up her lightsaber and didn’t complete her training either, under Luke’s jedi school. 8) Rey is a successful one-woman army, The only Force user, who connected with all Dead Jedi , to battle her Evil GrandDaddy , Sith Lord Palpatine and uses not one, but two lightsabers, to blow him up. 9) Rey experiences God-like Force Abilities when she brings Kylo back from near death & and then saves his spirit when she purges him of his evilness. 10) Rey has succeeded in taking Luke’s Name “SKYWALKER” and his LEGACY 11) Future Success is Starting up a NEW JEDI ACADEMY/ JEDI ORDER…She is a self Elected JEDI MASTER, cause no one in the Order is alive to initiate her to this status, Only Jedi ghosts are available. 12) Rey Has all the answers ,knows it all, her way or the spacehighway !! She doesn’t Inspire anyone, but sure does deflate people around her. 13) All the Beta Males are around Rey , treat her like she is better, she is in control and they would never talk down to her (like han did with leia) ? REY *_MARY SUE_* : a type of female character who is depicted as unrealistic and has no flaws or weaknesses in her character. Mary Sue REY is good at everything without even trying. She can rescue herself from any situation. she never fails in her ability to do difficult things. She is an idealized woman, a perfect character, and someone who upstages all other characters she is on screen with. She has no character arc, her development remains static due to her being perfect in all disciplines in which she partakes. Rey’s a character with strength and unlimited power that isn't justified. Rey represents women who can achieve greater things than men.

[@hilvystewy7298]

You are 100% correct

[@Arendvdvenk]

The only good thing the sequels did was make it easier to find new funny commentary channels. Glad to see you're still at it.

[@USpatriot741776]

"The character who's potential was tragically wasted by this trilogy" Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down.

[@BobBob-of7fg]

I cannot think of one character whose potential was properly used.

[@gamingguy1010]

@@BobBob-of7fg Phasm... oh wait lol

[@christopherregan1654]

That's literally every single character in the sequel trilogy, new and old!

[@defourruben]

Well we know it's not gonna be a stormtroop... Oh yeah Finn.

[@yudhiadhyatmikosiswono9082]

Disney sequel has no plan since beginning so i am not surprised if this movie lore are trainwreck.

[@atlas3556]

Rey: "This blade has done terrible things" Also Rey: *Carrying the Padawan Slayer 5000*

[@user-vk5hq3jz9t]

Excuse me, it's Youngling Slayer 9000

[@DoctorDestyNova]

Objects don’t act, people do. You silly people need to study Karma a bit more…

[@Yurikon3]

@@DoctorDestyNova Just cause yer an object for bad stuff does not mean YOU are the bad object.

[@DoctorDestyNova]

@@Yurikon3 Exactly Mr. Reimi, Exactly

[@Leminies]

@@DoctorDestyNova karma isn’t real

[@WWFanatic0]

What's even funnier about the weight argument is the weight of the crew. There's almost 47k people on one of these things. At an average of 180lbs, that's 8.5 million pounds per ship in just the people on board and lifting 1000 of them would mean lifting over 4.2 million tons. That's just the people. Using the ISS is a laughably generous size too. It's big enough for 7 people. That's it. Since you used carriers for construction lets use them as a reference for mass. A carrier is about 100k long tons and has 5k on board. So scaled up for 47k, that's just shy of a *million* long tons. There's 1000 of them so combined we get about a *billion* long tons or 1x10^12 kg. That's getting into the mass of range of small moons. Dude can literally toss around capital ships like they're candy but somehow is beaten.

[@ZeroHero3d]

I love when long-standing epic sci-fi narratives suddenly introduce magic McGuffins in the eleventh hour in order to move the plot forward. That's my favorite story trope...it's like Harry Potter allover again.

[@elmecaniconaranja1126]

The worst thing in all the trilogy is luke throwing his father's lightsaber, the physical representation of redemption, the reminder of the old republic and jedi that fought for democracy and freedom and galaxy, the gift from his first master, Obi wan kenobi, who respect anakin as a brother. All of this just dump out for the laughs

[@SmilerAmv314]

While its indeed dumb, i dont think thats what ruined it. more like the retconning from TROS, which is actually disgusting. THe last jedi wasnt a good movie but atleast it tried to close down some plots so that the finale could focus on the actual conflict or give other characters a time to shine. Instead we get a ''rey trying to find her lineage'' for the fucking third time. This is what makes it a failed trilogy. By the end it managed to say absolutly nothing. Say what you want about the last jedi but its definitly the more superiour movie in this trilogy. The force awakens is just a nostalgia trip and TROS is a retcon to try and please an already dissapointed fanbase.

[@xd_mystyyyyy]

@@SmilerAmv314 The retconning in TRoS is better than the lightsaber throw in TLJ because the TRos Retcon makes sense but yeah I understand.

[@pittland44]

@@SmilerAmv314 Well that's really the problem, what's the absolute worst part of all of this? Because I really have a hard time trying to pin that down.

[@SmilerAmv314]

@@xd_mystyyyyy It doesnt make sense tho, why ruin the wholfe franchise because of fan backlash? try and build on it thats how you fix it. The last jedi is the only movie in the sequels that actually told a story. Mark my words in a few years we will look back towards the last jedi and Tros and notice how much potential JJ abrams actually wasted. From Kylo ren his mask to Rey finishing her story we all lost that for a predicatble basic kids ending and a bad Deus ex machina at that. I reccomend watching "Why I loved the last jedi" By Stephan Krosecz, He can explain my points 10 times better than I can in this limited comment.

[@batman3698]

@@SmilerAmv314 TLJ just hogged plot lines and didn't set anything up for tros. At the end of TLJ the sequel trilogy was in a tailspin and I knew the moment I saw it that they were in a dead end and that the next movie would also suck. Personally I put the blame of the complete failure of the sequels solely on The Last Jedi.

[@maddox471]

Palpatine staged a war playing both sides and fooling the most powerful people in the galaxy then kills them all and takes over the galaxy and then ends up killing himself with his own lightning

[@greatpower30]

Do it

[@malcolmjenkins3585]

The man who took over the entire galaxy using his wit loses in the end because he made a thousand ships connected to a single radio tower.

[@peteryang2067]

****kills himself with his own lightning TWICE

[@jackdamascus4506]

I would rather a version of this movie where palpating wins by just using his smarts as he did in the prequels, instead of a badder version of the death star

[@jackdamascus4506]

Like if leia died instead of holdo, then holdo is in charge, but it turns out she’s a puppet for palpatine to control the resistance, and the order at the same time, throw in a plot where their battles get more and more deaths, due to purposefully bad information and then boom little bit better

[@Jack_Stafford]

If the Holdo maneuver actually worked, when the Death Star started kicking-off huge Capital ships one-by-one in return of the Jedi, admiral ackbar would have hyperspaced straight through the center of the main reactor to destroy the Death Star. Or any number of rebel ships could have done the same at the Battle of Yavin. The sequel trilogy cannot be canon because it violates its own rules, period.

[@SimonLeicester]

I sat through The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker once. I have no desire to rewatch either. Both shockingly bad

[@erikknudsenmork4536]

Can we just talk about how pissed Anakin must be now that the lightsaber that he made is now burried under sand.

[@nunofyerbusiness198]

kylo BEN. Krylon Rentboy. Downlow Bentover.

[@Luis-vy9bm]

He buried his mom in sand too.

[@u.v.s.5583]

I hate sand. It is coarse and irritating and gets everywhere, even in my lightsaber.

[@christopherscott6854]

At least she tucked it in a nice space blanky.

[@dexterjettster3683]

Yeah

[@Horrormaster13]

*The Star Wars Original Trilogy:* When you have a vision, but barely the resources and leeway to bring it to life. *The Star Wars Prequel Trilogy:* When you have a vision, but too much leeway and resources to do what you want. *The Sequel Star Wars Trilogy:* When you have no vision, no plan, but unlimited resources, and decide to play mad libs with it.

[@lluewhyn]

Good analogy. One thing that you could say about the Prequel Trilogy is that the bad parts were mostly consistent. The sequel trilogy is incoherent from film to film.

[@BlargeMan]

Thats a really good way of describing it

[@lifetodamax]

Well said. Limits often make you more creative. Necessity is the mother of invention. Struggles make the victory sweeter. There were no limits or struggle. There was no fight to make a movie they loved and believed in. It was a hurry up and here's a bunch of money to crap out a movie we are obligated to make. Star Wars: The Unstoppable Bowel Movement.

[@alphadoughnut2651]

Horrormaster13 I still felt that the original trilogy was able to complete its vision

[@claifers1841]

Prequels were fucking lit

[@terminator6950]

“Star Wars is finally over”. 3 years. Disney Star Wars has now said three new movies have been basically pulled out of their asses, hoping who people don’t know that the last movies sucked, will watch it

[@adaml7349]

The fact that a “palpatine” takes over the Skywalker name makes me believe it’s intentional and symbolic of something sinister in real life. Can’t put my finger on what that may be 🤔🤔

[@guilhermesalomao7552]

I think after this trilogy no one will ever complain about the prequels anymore

[@Rebecca-oh5yh]

I will still complain about the prequels. But I respect the fact that Lucas had a story he wanted to tell, besides just earning more money.

[@dtrain9911]

No I will complain about the prequels I can’t sit threw them without getting bored like I never finish them anymore I liked the new trilogy I can’t ignore it had flaws but they were still good but that original trilogy is the best of the Star Wars trilogy

[@paulrasmussen8953]

@@dtrain9911 the prequels problem is writing the story line is fine

[@dtrain9911]

@@paulrasmussen8953 still doesn’t mean there good movies

[@paulrasmussen8953]

@@dtrain9911 they are flawed but not to the degree the sequel was

[@jaeyoonkim4663]

If the "sequels" taught us anything, it's that the prequels are overhated.

[@G360LIVE]

Jar Jar Binks could never be overhated. That's just not possible. lol I would put Holdo above Jar Jar. As annoying as she is, as least I can understand what she's saying.

[@yaboiyaboy9980]

The prequels had wonky dialogue but a great and emotional story. They are basically a space version of the timeless greek drama "Oedipus Rex"

[@mar10ssj1]

The prequels were also garbage. Lets take off the rose colored glasses and remember that the SW fans hated the prequels to the point of ruining a small boys life and causing the Jar Jar actor to nearly kill himself. It was because of such hate that made Gorge Lucas sell Star Wars to Disney in the first place. GL grew tired of the fandom.

[@drasconboy6349]

@@mar10ssj1 That's not really the Prequels fault more than it is insecure manchildren

[@DraculaCronqvist]

Actually, no. The Prequels get just enoug hatred, barely, and the Sequels don't get hated nearly enough.

[@davidtceultra2556]

TROS in a nutshell: "The Emperor isn't dead! Why? We won't tell you!" "PLANET DESTROYING LASERS EVERYWHERE!!!" "OH NO! Chewie is dead!" "LOL, never mind! He was on a different ship!" "Lightsabers don't kill people sometimes!" "Hey, Endgame did the whole concept of all the heroes coming together for a big battle when all hope seems lost, right? So let's do it wrong this time!"

[@Hhifix]

#11:34 The entire sequel trilogy plot Snoke And Ryan Johnson: you take that ridiculous thing off… Kylo: *takes it off* Palpatine And JJ Abrams: you put that ridiculous thing back on..

[@joegreen3802]

Ugh. The sequel trilogy...I refuse to acknowledge it as anything more than some shitty fanfiction.

[@thealexgundam5006]

Megaman zero, such good games

[@CrazyBomber22]

"shitty" being key. Nothing wrong with fanfiction.

[@lookingforwookiecopilot]

I feel the same way about the prequels, books, comics, cartoons, and video games. :-)

[@yatharthjain2273]

Even fanfiction isn’t that bad

[@joegreen3802]

@@lookingforwookiecopilot Hey, I'll take Legends over this crap any day of the week

[@logicaldude3611]

I think one of the most frustrating things about Rey is that she is remarkably well-adjusted and well-groomed for a desert scavenger girl who was abandoned as a child. It's like the entire series put no thought into trying to figure out how someone who grew up in a situation like that should look and act. "Let's just put this cute British girl in there and give her the personality of your average millennial, that will be our main character."

[@razkable]

they make her so lame...i don't get why they gave her lightning for one scene just to spoil her palpatine lineage...it would hold more weight if a force push tug of war with kylo occurred with the ship cause then the reveal of her family name is kinda unexpected and i may have cared more when she thought she killed a friend cause she was not thinking and got too emotional..with lightning it just takes you out of the scene cause its so forced no pun intended..you were not prepared for it...its like wtf she can do that?..

[@RomanSimkins]

@@razkable Exactly, shocky hands aren't hereditary......

[@Rin19862002]

There are many human female on Tatooin, they teach her when she was small (possibly). In a community, minority people take care of their own kind and share time to take care for their orphan children :( Beside, their technology is very advanced, they can build up some droids for hair designing and clothing etc.

[@Rin19862002]

@@flynncarter229 I guess it is difficult for men to teach small girls about women things, so female human will group up and share time to teach her. There are many kind of creature in Star wars, female human seems more spectific...

[@thefly6537]

To be fair to the casting department, Daisy Ridley isn't too hard to look at...

[@notmillionaires]

Thank you! Couldn't have said it better. I turn 50 in a few days. My Dad took me to see Star Wars in 1977 and it made me who I was. Not am. Because it was ruined. Because of these greedy fools. I still surround myself with my beloved nostalgia. But it died with Rise. I watched 7 countless times. Even gave 8 8 to 10 views trying my hardest to love it. I fell asleep in the theater during 9 and never bothered to watch it at home. I think we have all found Solace in Mando and Obi Wan. Which has been nice. Filled with the same bs. But there's been more fun from them than anything in the movies. But Kathleen and JJ just killed the spirit inside my aging achy bones. We deserved better. I will say this. I love Rogue One and am excited for Andor. Ya Im behind. Because of the former I just don't care as much. And there were a lot of good things from the shows. Excited to see Ahmed in Mandalorian S3! I hope it went over well. He deserves it. But Holy crap I've never been more disappointed than how they handled what could have been great. And now they are doing another Rey and Finn movie! Lol. Well I hope they can get it right. Or at the minimum just something enjoyable! Friggin great content! Glad I came across your channel.❤

[@Misery7531]

We never found solace in Mando or obi wan or andor at alllllll all the live action TV sucks

[@notmillionaires]

@Misery7531 Rise of Skywalker? I've given it some time and am planning on revisiting it soon. I've had this happen where I can come back to things and end up loving something I previously didn't. I really liked VII a lot. So had high hopes when they brought Abraham's back. Still wonder what could have been if Nolan would have done all 3! As practical as possible. Wonder if that was ever considered? Lol. Probably not. But with the Star Trek Star Wars divide since I was a kid in the 70s. Getting the director from the Star Trek movies should have been a sign. 😃 I'm kidding I was happy they got him. But they should have either had Johnson do all three or Abrams. But still kinda think Nolan would have killed it.

[@jefjohn2008]

Adding in that DMX track (X Gone Gove It To Ya) at 50:00 was spot on and fit that part of your visor so perfectly 👏🏽👏🏽🔥🔥 R.I.P. DMX 🎤🖤

[@eirich804]

I love how every actor of the triology tried to tell the audience that the movie was trash

[@blitz4779]

Cant really blame the actors, they legit tried and made this trilogy barely watchable. It's really all on JJ

[@sammcdermott78]

Jack Lutz I feel so bad for mark did you see how depressed he looked when he would have interviews for the last Jedi

[@lijevasisa]

same with GOT season 8...

[@yveltalpoderoso1303]

For me jj was the problem, last Jedi was the only movie of the new Star Wars movies I liked , if rise of skywalker followed everything last Jedi set up , people would remember last Jedi more kindly

[@blitz4779]

@@yveltalpoderoso1303 even then people look back on last jedi as at least conceptually interesting. So it still made last jedi looks decent

[@andrewzoo4018]

I remember this documentary where George Lucas said “ It was too much for me to handle so I retired, but I needed someone to run the company. I thought of Kathleen! We had worked together before and she seemed like she knew what she was doing.” -famous last words

[@elvenbuttress]

It was at this moment George knew, He f**ked up.

[@deadpanbarry5442]

I'd buy that for a dollor.

[@kesterspecter5510]

RIP

[@JCDenton3]

He also said he hired her because she was able to help him move some stuff out of his garage once. Sounds more like a Lucas reason to give someone control of your dream lol.

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

I read a book about Dostoevsky, and he had the same pressure towards the end of his life. Working on the biggest novel he had ever written, had epilepsy, gambling problems, money problems and was gonna die soon. He didn't have the amazing Kathleen Kennedy, though, so he did what any self-respecting, epileptic 19th century Russian with a gambling problem would do: he locked himself in a room until he was done and then died. The result was the best novel in human history, while the result of having the amazing Kathleen Kennedy instead was the most horrifically bad movie trilogy in human history. Lock yourself in a room until you're done next time. That's my conclusion. Lucas legacy will now be that he lived in Hollywood and wrote some horseshit. He deserves better, but hey: these movies exist now because of him. He's gonna have to wear it.

[@thiago_thesaint]

#12 the part explaining their relationship really highlights how awful it is. And Rey's kiss was so bad Kylo literally ghosted her immediately after.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

Underrated comment!

[@Kyanzes]

I'm wondering if JJ Abrams actually shit himself when he saw the Last Jedi for the first time, calling Johnson "Mate, this is a cool joke, now where is the real movie? Come on... no... you mean... no...I'm ruined...we are ruined...". -- Also, Finn can sense where the nav signal is coming from but Rey cannot feel if Chewie was on / died on the transport or that he still lived in another transport.

[@ww2-epicbattles]

Count Dooku: "I've been looking forward to this."

[@timurjack8773]

Maul: ''How charming that you actually believe that statement to be true.''

[@jagtech490]

tevfik enis I haven’t seen season seven so is that one of his quotes?

[@impulse5674]

My hype has doubled since the last Jedi video, count

[@thebigpig2364]

*sees vito's final video* This is where the fun begins

[@timurjack8773]

@@jagtech490 yes

[@timewarpdrive77]

The real crime is that a real squeal trilogy can never be made. Mark Hammil has been turned off, ford still doesn't want to do star wars, and fisher is dead... Why, disney.....

[@christopha1955]

Who needs big budget movies. TV/streaming is where its at now. We know they can do the Mandalorian right. Just make a series taking place after Return of the Jedi.

[@DeadKraken]

@Justice Sparks There are rumors that Lucasfilms will try, in the next year or two, to fix this shit with new series(animated and live action) books, comics and some even say releasing different cuts of the sequel movies to retcon some elements. I believe that's all they can do right now. Disney ain't gonna "reboot" the movies, and for sure they will NEVER make the sequels non-canon just for the huge amount of money they have invested into it, so their only hope is that they retcon their own shit so much that the fans will come back. I mean, they even managed to piss off the Kylo Ren stans and the reylos, not even TLJ could archieve that, lower than this they cannot go 😂

[@Breeboi_j]

Disney didn’t do a thing dumb fuck. Kennedy. Kennedy fucked us, Disney just promotes it. Note to everyone in the comments, DISNEY IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR RUININGING STARWARS. Disney is simply the owner and promoter, you can’t claim they ruined it even they have no control over directing the films. And they unlike Kennedy love starwars, and want to promote it, they are the reason we have galaxies edge, and all the Easter eggs from the films within the land, as well as everything you could have wanted as a kid. Kennedy is the person to blame, and as of now she has been announced to be fired this year. She has zero control over anything starwars and is working to quit. kzbin.info/www/bejne/oorCk2OXqs9pqZI

[@slamexo0]

The mandalorian isn’t even that good lol. They still didn’t do mandalorians correctly tbh

[@timewarpdrive77]

@@christopha1955 No, they can't do the mandalorian right. Just by the fact that its part of this broken new continuity, its bad, which doesn't even mention how bad it is on its own.

[@hungtheheroluu]

Fun fact: on Wookieepedia, there's even a page for Mickey Mouse, who is established as a Jedi Master in the franchise. I didn't just pull something random out of the sarlacc pit-no joke, but he is ironically part of the Expanded Universe/Legends continuity (albeit non-canonically); the same continuity that Disney erased just to replace it with a terrible, nonsensical nightmare Luke just had in his sleep after a night of partying with the Ewoks on Endor.

[@crooney82]

This review video is a masterpiece and way more thought and energy went into making it than any of the movies in this trilogy. Disney could have hired someone like you with the creativity and intelligence to oversee the writing of these movies. Instead Star Wars is dead forever. Which is sad because Star Wars should be awesome.

[@beckettmaffei]

Just imagine... *Ten-year-old Anakin:* "'Ight let me just restrict Threepio so he can't read Sith" Edit: Hehe, I've done it... I've infiltrated the comment section... congratulations everyone, you've just given a Last Jedi fan a top comment. But seriously, thanks 💗

[@love.uriell]

Extremely underrated comment

[@aldyrasyid]

@@love.uriell can someone pls explain lol

[@love.uriell]

@@aldyrasyid 10 year old anakin constructed C-3PO. Why on earth would a 10 year old kid restrict a droid from reading such a specific language, which he probably didn’t even know existed. (3PO not being able to read sith language was holding Rey and all of them from reading the dagger in TROS)

[@quinetastic]

One needs just assume that the restriction on not reading *Sith* was made at some future point in time, after 3-pos creation by Anakin...

[@nicholashodges201]

I guess it could have been built into whatever library was used for his 6 mil languages. Still weak, why make him able to read them in the first place?

[@Buzzy_Bland]

Rey: **Buries Anakin’s lightsaber in the sand** Anakin’s Force Ghost: *_Screams of agony_*

[@meesalopia404]

I dont like sand.

[@sammcdermott78]

Chris Doyle it’s coarse and tough and irritating and it gets everywhere

[@zyshock]

Disney says its rey's lightsaber talk about disney being rude

[@dakkarnemo1094]

@@zyshock It will always be the Skywalker lightsaber to me. Just because Rey possessed it and calls herself a Skywalker doesn't mean it's her's.

[@riotsui6275]

YOUR LIGHTSABER WILL MAKE A FINE ADDITION TO MY COLLECTION

[@miraclelment]

They killed off all the main characters in the original trilogy. They should also have gotten rid of the millennium falcon, Chubaka, R2D2, and C3PO.

[@manuelcaycedo561]

the way you edited the guy at 9:20 eagerly waitng for jj to answer his question while he impatiently fidgets around hahahahaha this whole video is gold thank you for your time and effort man..highly appreciated my good sir

[@jamiebraswell5520]

That guy was an idiot. Anyone who got excited about seeing the huge chunks of Death Star on a planetary surface is just an idiot. It should not have taken Palpatine's laugh to make them question things. In fact, why the hell were people still excited at this point when it was clear that the sequel trilogy was garbage? Stupid fans willing to keep on fueling Disney's bad film series.

[@jdfuller1483]

Why is nobody freaking out about how well made this video is? I can only imagine how many hours this thing took to make. Thanks for grinding for this man, respect.

[@lavish263team5]

Certainly a lot longer than what it took to plan this movie

[@JustAGuyWhoLikesStuff.]

@@lavish263team5 true.

[@cdixon198]

His pinned comment says 3 months

[@vito]

You have no idea. Thanks for respecting the grind.

[@Smerpyderp]

lavish 263 team Is that really saying much though?

[@brayden2254]

Why didn't Anakin's ghost appear to Luke years ago and say "hey son Palpatine is alive on a planet called Exogol and luckily I have a wayfinder hidden on Mustafar so that you can go there and end him"

[@nadrewod999]

Because Disney had literally no plan with the sequel trilogy, and just threw shit at the CGI wall until it stuck.

[@Sableantelopeenjoyer]

Because lazy writing

[@banditoheat]

Luke had his Force phone on silent and it went straight to voicemail.

[@xd_mystyyyyy]

Yeah or “Hey son don’t kill Kylo in his MOTHER FUCKING SLEEP because he won’t turn to the dark side if you don’t ok.”

[@JakeDude500]

God this one fucking sentence would have made a better plotline for a sequel trilogy than what we got.

[@NinjaBray]

There's an official star wars galaxy map, each grid square is 1500 square parsecs (3.3 light years per parsec). If you want a point of reference for how impossible the time frame is, the first planet they start on is in grid square L-4, the second planet they are on during the movie is in grid square O-13. The most direct route takes you through the deep core and doesn't follow any known hyperspace lane (hyperspace lanes are supposed to avoid large celestial objects that have massive gravity wells, such as black holes and stars, which is what most of the deep core is). Hyperspace travel isn't instant, it takes time to go through hyperspace, it's been previously established that it takes about a day to get from Geonosis to Tattoine and that's along a hyperspace lane. And to be even more accurate, the ISD weighed 40 million tons (one US ton is 2000 US pounds) and that planet destroying laser can't weigh any less than 5 million tons. So assuming that giant planet destroyed laser somehow only weighs 5 million tons, that means Palpatine was able to lift at least 45,360,000,000 (45 billion, 360 million) tons or 90,720,000,000,000 (90 trillion, 720 billion) pounds. Using the force alone. And remember, that is as low of a lowball estimate as you can possibly get, the death star probably ways several quintillion pounds. This movie is so far beyond impossible even by the thinnest stretch of the rules in star wars

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

This is the most technical math-y comment I have ever read. Screenshot! Thank you. 🙏

[@cpssee]

The odds of making a decent movie under Disney are below zero...

[@coalescence3835]

I'm glad he said "Anakin's Lightsaber" not "Rey's Lightsaber."

[@Maxyman13423]

The only other person that lightsaber belongs to; is Luke

[@phoenixgray9231]

@@Maxyman13423 nah its anakins youngling slayer 9000

[@primenationgamer5710]

@@Maxyman13423 it belong to the chosen one

[@batman3698]

@@phoenixgray9231 I guess he meant the only person other than Anakin?

[@aaron75fy]

well she stole everything else from the skywalkers so we really shouldn't be surprised

[@donhill1825]

Everything about the "Gotcha!" compilation is goddam hilarious.

[@jasonfarrell00]

It’s great seeing other channels trying to rip off it and then I re-find this channel and remember how gloriously well it is done 👍👍👍👍

[@fatpizza7810]

The clown music perfectly sums up how much of a circus the Disney sequels were.

[@tacoenvy]

Dude I was dying, it was so well done and the music makes it even better

[@account1307]

Agreed

[@mattgee4867]

Yeah it was already my favorite part in the last jedi video

[@Lucas2840]

Vito and Mr. Plinkett have arguably the best Star Wars reviews on KZbin.

[@dronesclubhighjinks]

MauLer too!

[@qbxricky5315]

When I was 10, I would send scripts I wrote to the studios of my favorite video games and movies, hoping they would implement them. The new trilogy reminds me of that and sounds like a 10 year old wrote them. Thank god I never watched these

[@jasonatobol]

Palpatine: My plan is for you Rey to kill me so my power can get into you and `we` can rule the galaxy. Rey: I don`t kill you then. 5 minutes later: Rey kills Palpatine as the happy ending resolution of the movie.

[@toryanderson5920]

I didn’t even think of this🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ aye aye aye

[@literallya442ndclonetroope5]

Ah yes, Saying something bad will happen for the sake of making the story barley dramatic, but then removing the consequences of the main characters actions, so that the writers don’t have to try. My favorite modern movie trope.

[@raafeyplayz7015]

The worst part is that Rey kills him in anger....

[@DoctorDestyNova]

From the sound of this I would rather read some books that aren’t Star Wars

[@KabillaTaco]

@@DoctorDestyNova check out DUNE

[@insertfunnynamehere8617]

Rey: I’m Rey skywalker Me: identity theft in Star Wars

[@binaldoshi495]

Identity theft is not a joke Rey. Millions of families suffer every year.

[@reduxboi.8586]

@@binaldoshi495 tell that to disney

[@timtim3110]

Rey: im Rey Skywalker Me: *Visible Confusion*

[@KrillLiberator]

Is it the worst final line in cinema?

[@TheMeJustMe75]

I refused to see it in the theater and waited for it to come to Disney Plus. My 10 year old git bored about 10 minutes into it and went to play in his room. I lasted about 10 minutes longer and turned it off. It took me a total of four times to make it to the end. It's nothing but identity theft at the end. Rey steals lightsabers, Luke's last name and home.

[@cliffordterrell5524]

This was the biggest example of filmmakers sacrificing common sense and intelligence for emotional dribble and cheap laughs. Here is my biggest question who was the first order and what authority did they actually have. I just watched Megan and I was very impressed with the writing staff. I imagine what Disney Star wars can learn from this. As long as Kathleen Kennedy is in charge of Disney Star wars it's never going to be the same

[@michaeldelorenzo2700]

Didn't they like remove her exclusive creative authorities or something after the last jedi. I know she's definitely not allowed to f*** up anymore Star wars I heard Disney definitely took action when all the fans were outraged. maybe it only happened in time to save mandalorian. Either way, every time I hear that b****'s name I get Pissed I blame her more than j j.

[@jmace2424]

Let’s just lump this in the trash can labeled “Disney remakes” and call it a day.

[@tutorialstipsandtricks1042]

Amen

[@aaron75fy]

I think you mean "Disney's bad fan fiction"

[@tutorialstipsandtricks1042]

No star wars fan would ever write something as awful as this. Im pretty sure the directors of these movies had never even heard of star wars

[@aaron75fy]

@@tutorialstipsandtricks1042 unless you've been living under a rock for the past half century I doubt you won't have heard of Star Wars

[@tutorialstipsandtricks1042]

These guys crawled out from the lowest trench in the ocean

[@CinematicSeriesGaming]

I am absolutely astonished that a giant corporation with virtually unlimited resources, who can cast the best actors and hire the best screenwriters and directors in the world, managed to fuck up the whole trilogy in such a spectacular way that a mediocre fanfiction is more interesting and cohesive in comparison. It's fucking impressive to be honest. On paper Star Wars sequel trilogy is simply impossible to ruin. There are so many amazing books, comics and games to pull ideas from and they had so much time to carefully plan everything ahead that it's simply unbelievable to me that they managed to shit on the franchise in such an extreme fashion. I'm 100% certain that George Lucas is furious as fuck and he regrets ever selling Star Wars to Disney. The money made him fabulously rich but in exchange his amazing legacy was raped and murdered in the most horrible way he could have imagined.

[@bobwish8851]

think George Lucas legacy has been improved/cleared because of the disney movies everyone will think his movies are way better then disneys movies and unless Lucas buys the franchise back, disney will have a up hill battle to prove otherwise plus people finally stop complaining about the prequels been the worst thing to ever happen to star wars

[@compoundlift7578]

It's because they don't get what Lucas was doing, they don't get the style guide, they don't get the themes, they don't get the visual language. You just go into star wars like some blockbuster, you need a deep understanding of the history of cinema theory to even shoot it correctly. Not because it's super sophisticated, but because certain techniques fit the style and others break it. Lucas had a distinct way of doing things and, even in the OT, breaking those rules makes the film feel fake.

[@thunderbird1921]

If you look back at Disney the last 10 years or so, none of us should have been surprised by this. Other than Marvel, since 2010 or so most of Disney's film writing has been an absolute DISASTER. TFA gave me a little hope, but TLJ confirmed all my fears plus worse. I give Marvel several years tops before Disney totally destroys them too.

[@justinstewart1057]

@@thunderbird1921 "Other than Marvel, since 2010 or so most of Disney's film writing has been an absolute DISASTER." No they haven't. Name some Disney movies that are NOT Star Wars, that have been disasters.

[@justinstewart1057]

@cinematic series gaming, "On paper Star Wars sequel trilogy is simply impossible to ruin." Except it's not impossible to ruin. Disney didn't plan out the trilogy like they should have, which is why the movies feel disconnected plain and simple. You talk about Disney like it's some invincible titan that could do no wrong until Star Wars came about. ANY business, or company, no matter how big, can mess up if they don't plan properly. It's happened with Nintendo, the company behind Game of Thrones, etc. If you're astonished that Disney is capable of messing up, and you're astonished that *ANY* large corporation can mess up, then you're just ignorant.

[@cuppeli]

Leia got thrown to space after the bridge took a huge hit and woke up in space used the force fly back to the ship got freaking saved by opening the vacuum sealed doors with people on the other side just standing there👌

[@makk3232]

The gotcha bit at 11:30 is one of the all time funniest YT moments ever

[@yeetthebeatout6906]

That moment you realize the prequels weren’t as bad as you remember

[@djm.326]

exactly.

[@bigdudebruhyes2397]

The prequels were never bad

[@Rockhard1492]

Friend, the prequels are like Citizen Kane compared to this drivel.

[@Chris-fj6pr]

I loved the prequels, the revenge of the sith is my favorite movie out of the whole franchise

[@macewindu4165]

The prequels weren’t that bad. TPM: good AOTC: not so good ROTS: way to good

[@desertfox738]

That whole “gotcha” segment was gold 😂

[@vanillajack5925]

10:50 I love the laugh track 😅

[@Nothing-ce8uv]

I lost it at 'mother fucker gonna get a space monkey'

[@autisticvenusaur]

That's why "Gotcha!" Is entertaining.

[@SuperD00D]

He loves laser swords 😭😭😭 don’t forget your laser sword, laser swords are the most important thing, you get two of em now, two laser swords! Better than one! 😂 And this movie is about killing your grandpa lol that’s what’s important now

[@asherneyland8950]

@@vanillajack5925 look at his last Jedi video. Theres a gotcha bit on there

[@ibazulic]

So sorry for your loss, I know it's been two years but this is the first time I see your video.

[@TheTrueMr.Chicken]

Fun fact: the death sound effect he used when Kylo Ren died was the sound effect for jar jar in angry birds star wars

[@RandomGuy-ej9gr]

Rise of Skywalker? More like the Fall of Skywalker since they're all dead...

[@iloveutubesince3207]

"Rise of Palpatine" would fit better.

[@mr.ditkovich6379]

"Rise of Mary Sue" would be even better

[@grproteus]

"Rey was an impostor" would be the best

[@death-king1834]

I prefer to call it "The Rise of the Retcons". Cause it literally retcons everything in the Saga. It retcons the Original Trilogy, the Prequels, the Clone Wars, the Last Jedi and even Abram's own Force Awakens.

[@freebee8221]

even before this pos movie came out i remember thinking that rise of skywalker is a STUPID title. i honestly thought it was a joke. (and now i know it was)

[@helohi9701]

I will never forget when I saw it in theaters how negative the audiences reaction was when Rey called herself "Skywalker" people were booing and throwing trash at the screen

[@dough7726]

I was so confused when she said she was Skywalker

[@Sinsmoke_]

Its like stealing the name of your boyfriends dead uncle

[@Sinsmoke_]

It would have been better if she said she is a palpatine.She accepts that she is a palpatine

[@Misery2331]

Well good thing that didn't happen when I went to see it.

[@Sinsmoke_]

@@Misery2331 I would have liked to be there so i can throw trash too

[@Jack_Stafford]

If it were canon, Exogal would have had a planetary shield like Scariff had. It can't be canon because it breaks/forgets simple but essential established story points .

[@kf1559]

Great stuff. Brilliantly made and very funny. You come across really cool. Best wishes sent your way from Scotland. 😀👍