The Rise of Skywalker Book is WORSE Than the Movie!

This hilarious new book absolutely DESTROYS Star Wars canon. After you're done laughing, go and install Raid for Free ✅ Mobile: clik.cc/YqW2O ✅ PC: clik.cc/sFbnS and get a special starter pack 💥 Available only for the next 30 days!
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker was an incredible disappointment for all Star Wars fans, displeasing both those who hoped to see a continuation of The Last Jedi's themes as well as those who wanted an entirely new path forward. The central issue was the number of questions that remained at the end of the film: what was Palpatine's plan and how did he survive the destruction of the Death Star? How did Maz Kanata get Anakin's lightsaber? Why did Rey have such incredible powers, including the ability to expertly pilot the Millennium Falcon?
Thankfully we have Pablo Hidalgo's new book, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: The Visual Dictionary. This coffee table tome promises all sorts of answers to our many questions... but doesn't actually provide any of them? Actually it's just full of hilarious retcons. Here's Vito's full review of everything wrong with this book!
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[@vito]

Comment if you remembered to subscribe!

[@grievinggeneral7878]

yes

[@thedarkknight5239]

Second

[@hater-do4ee]

Hello there

[@grievinggeneral7878]

@@hater-do4ee *autistic cough* general kenobi

[@Prophetofthe8thLegion]

wait the rise of skywalker was a movie? I just thought it was a poorly written fanfic

[@flattard7007]

"A good question, for another book."

[@thebigpig2364]

Could I tell it? Of COURSE I could tell it! But I can’t tell it.

[@daghostds]

It's in the comics, its not out yet though, so yeah it's a good question for another book that we sell at premium with shitty marvel art.

[@saricubra2867]

Clickbaits, no, readbaits

[@death-king1834]

Remember when movies had self contained stories that didn't require you to buy and read a dozen or so books and comics to understand what the fuck was going on?

[@KneelB4Bacon]

"Why is a chimp repairing Kylo Ren's helmet? That sounds really stupid." "A good question. For another book." "Why can't Star Destroyers figure out which way is UP? That sounds really stupid." "A good question. For another book." "Why would Holdo berate Po for 'betting the survival of the Resistance of bad odds and putting us all at risk' when she was about to perform a maneuver that had a one-in-a-million chance of succeeding? That seems really stupid." "A good question. For another book."

[@babygiraffe3052]

Rey: I'm Rey. Random lady: Rey who? Rey: Rayd Shadow Legends!

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

Yes, it should obviously be, uh:"Rey whom?"

[@neilcuckmann1704]

Okay mate

[@BlackPantherFTW]

This comment is like in every Star Wars video rn

[@magatetus]

😂👍

[@DarknetDude]

KZbin shilling in a nutshell.

[@intelkore]

I own another "official guide" from 2017, and it clearly states that Vader threw his master to a "fiery death". These writers were extremely lazy or clueless, jeez.

[@juliendacoolien3454]

I guess te-e-e-echnically...? He did explode.

[@AshanBhatoa]

Which guide mate? Because there is Imperial propaganda and the actual reality/truth. It seems you bought the propaganda.

[@HufflepuffDaddy]

@@AshanBhatoa "Imperial propaganda"? Can you explain further? Where is the line drawn between Official Guides and Imperial Propaganda?

[@8-gamingnight288]

This is space Hitler you know the guy who fell to his death was blown up and burned to death oh and then blown up by the death Star so there is no real way he survived unless it's Disney bullshit writing

[@jakep9040]

Everyone: why does Maz have Anakins lightsaber The book: she has candy in her pocket

[@haraldschuster3067]

Lightsabers are - probably - like the one ring. With a mind of their own who can influence their surroundings so they are found and returned to their master. They just don't make people call them "precious".

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

That quip about the candy seems almost like the kind of thing you do to a hyper kid or a dog to get them to stop pestering about something you don’t know about.

[@gonx9906]

you need the dagger to find the missing page about palpatine in the book.

[@larzguy3714]

Wish we'd gotten George Lucas' sequels. That would've explored so much intresting and expanded so much more.

[@alejandrovillalba3143]

@Alexander Gerdt It would allow Disney to get closer to recover their 4 billion dollars investment. They aren't anywhere near to do it, by the way

[@vshark7869]

Lars Olavsgaard most of lucas concept was used for the force awakens, he had Luke hide in an island. And his concepts for people swimming around the Death Star ruins was used in episode 9

[@nasher931]

No, first you need someone who can read what the dagger says, then you need someone else who can translate for them, then you have stand in a specific spot so the dagger can lead you to the thing that then tells you where the palpatine page is. But when you find it, JJ Abrams destroys it making the whole process pointless. So you have to fight JJ to the death, then use the GPS in his car to take you back to where he found the page. And maybe one of your friends dies along the way but not really.

[@skost8825]

A Sith Pagefinder *gasp*

[@emancoy]

The stupid of the Disney trilogy is jarring. Imagine leaving a fully functional ship out in the open desert for decades, and not a single Jawa looted it, or anyone to just take it.

[@Sketch_Sesh]

And wonder Rey and super token Finn just magically know how to expertly pilot it

[@greganderson6371]

Mando left his ship in the desert for two days and the Jawas took so much ship that they had more ship than there was to begin with.

[@reviewthenerds7185]

not to mention the door was open and the lights were on inside 🤦🏼‍♂️ #derp ...what a miserable experience i has been watching Disney ruin Star Wars. The Mandolrian is ok, but EVERYTHING else is a #DumpsterFire

[@sheep83]

That was when I started treating it as a comedy just to get through it. That whole section seemed butchered to me, from when they arrive on the planet (can't remember the name, don't care) to Chewbacca's fake death where they give you a whole 5 minutes to absorb it before saying "haha, fooled you", except they didn't because he was in the fucking trailer with Lando in the Falcon. That whole worm section stank of reshoot. Probably to shoehorn in the force healing for later.

[@reviewthenerds7185]

@@sheep83 i think he was refering to The Farce Awakenings 🤣😂😅 butt either way they all suck and u are still correct BAAHAHAHA Jar Jar Abrahams be like "nah it'll be fine" [The Critical Drinker reference]... "eff off film!"

[@Toon_Lucario]

Rey:I’m Rey Old lady:Rey Who? Rey: Rey Skywalker Dwight: Identity theft is not a joke Rey! Millions of families suffer every year!

[@defearl]

It makes absolutely no fucking sense. It would be kinda feel-good if she said "I'm Rey Organa" (or Rey Solo), since she actually spent over a year with Leia, so it makes sense that she grew a tremendous amount of attachment to Leia as a mother figure. She spent a grand total of 3 days with Luke, and they never even had a loving relationship, so why would she even feel compelled to choose Skywalker? Awful, awful writing by JJ.

[@foxyplayz1399]

Smee Skywalker and Anakin Skywalker and palpatine being Anakin's father in legends: who greeted you to the family? Leia are you dating Luke?

[@thatHARVguy]

Keep the Skywalker name out your f** mouth!

[@FMK03]

@@foxyplayz1399 Darth Plagueis is the one who caused Anakin's birth in the EU.

[@luispagan9170]

Finn *Kills Hitler* Book: " He's not a hero he only did it because"

[@clearlywrong6520]

2015: The Forced Narrative 2016: Reach: a Star Wars Story 2017: The Last Straw 2018: Soiled: a Star Wars Flop 2019: The Rise of Panicking Investors

[@SCRaetz]

Yeah but Reach was pretty good. As Halo and as Star Wars. 😏

[@PoeticProse7]

As much as I truly hate the sequels, I hate more that after outright telling script doctor Carrie Fisher they didn't want her working in that capacity on any of the movies they now want to strike them from cannon. You killed Princess Leia making these movies, they're the last performances of her career. You owe it to her legacy to own your own steaming pile of shit.

[@user-fn5xg7qt7u]

LOL “Reach a Star Wars Story”

[@Soundwave-gay]

Reach nice OHHHHHUHOOOHHHHOHHHH OHHHHH Master chief you mind telling me what your doing in Star Wars? “Sir giving this a good story.”

[@arcblooper2699]

I will never understand why people compare Reach to Rogue One. There’s a rough parallel to the last mission but other than that it’s completely different

[@hmvd22]

Finn never told Rey what he wanted to tell her for operational security reasons.

[@harrisoncora4259]

Makes as much sense as everything else in the Sequel Trilogy.

[@rp-lopez]

😂😂😂

[@nybergsgarage]

Well at least he took opsec then.

[@bengunderson712]

@@nybergsgarage Too bad he failed his cybersecurity challenge in TLJ and got the resistance shuttles blown up though

[@nybergsgarage]

@@bengunderson712 well, nobodies perfect. ESPECIALLY anyone from the star wars sequels.

[@TrueUnderDawgGaming]

This video ages like wine. It is mind-boggling how desperate and stupid this final film was. Palpatine is back! It makes no sense how, but he's back! Love it, you fucks! Literally hundreds of Star Destroyers! Huh, you think one is intimidating? Fuck you, here's more! Yeah you fucking love it! Hyper-jumps are rare? Fuck you, every tiny ship can do it even the damn tie-fighters! This movie is colorful and flashy you will love it like the dribbling fans you are!

[@ManoredRed]

I recall Obiwan does perform a hyperspace jump with a fighter-sized craft in the prequel trilogy, although with the assistance of a ring-shaped equipment that attaches to the outside of the craft.

[@romancatholicgameing]

When I played the new LEGO Star Wars game, I hadn't watched any Star Wars movies yet. You can imagine my surprise when I found out The Rise of Skywalker's opening crawl in that game was the actual opening crawl for the movie. I genuinely thought it was just a joke that the LEGO guys put in their game. That's how bad the movie is.

[@bandicootsauce4569]

Holdo's plan in a nutshell: "I'm a bitch and a troll and loving it." Seriously, I wasn't 'moved' by her 'sacrifice' in the slightest. I was just glad to see her go. Good riddance to a character that, in my personal opinion, is WORSE... than Jar Jar Binks, Rose and all of Jabba the Hutt's dancing posse COMBINED.

[@alightinthedarkages9494]

Don't forget her obscenity of a neck that can give the tallest giraffe an inferiority complex.

[@sirpepeofhousekek6741]

I actually laughed at her stupid face when she turned to see all the escape pods getting blown up, because it was all her fault for not telling anyone the plan in the first place.

[@razgriz9146]

Damn dude, that's fucking cold. Comparing ANYONE to Jar Jar Binks is a mortal sin, in my book. Except for this one instance, of course.

[@quanlinglingdingle6122]

Ngl i dont even feel bad when a resistance army died, they are bunch of fools compared to rebels

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

I couldn’t wait for her to be gone off the screen. She was so horrible and to find out her plan was built off really bad odds after chastising someone about bad odds just made it even more stupid.

[@patteri90]

Don't feel sorry for Pablo Hidalgo. He's the same guy who told Rian Johnson that the Holdo maneuver is lore friendly in the first place

[@neilcuckmann1704]

YeOldePatu lol

[@emancoy]

Yeah, such disconnect

[@Maverick180c]

Really? Source?

[@Maverick180c]

@@patteri90 Thank you! Much appreciated!

[@mayhemivory5730]

hyperspace collisions are lore friendly that’s not the problem. han talks about it in ep4 and it happens in tcw. that’s what you need hyperspace route for. but the fallout of such an event would be immense. like a shotgun fired in direction of a crowd, you never know what you will hit.

[@bloodrunsclear]

Original Star Wars: Lore is like icing on the cake New Star Wars: 'Lore' is damage control for bad writing

[@malcolmjenkins3585]

Fax

[@sergeantsharkseant]

*signature Blick of Superiority*

[@Observer29830]

I wouldn't call it that way. The "Lore" as in the expanded universe and so forth have always been a way to clean up Lucas' story-telling messes. It only was not quite as bad before.

[@sorte7171]

The best content for all of the sequels is resistance, Kazuda xiono has more story and character development than Rey and “her lightsaber” in one crash landing than she does over 3 movies

[@TheJoeschmoe777]

@@Observer29830 Nah, the EU was definitely the icing on the cake pre Disney. We didn't need stuff like The Thrawn Trilogy or the story of Darth Bane, but they were great additions to an already great story. This new stuff is just crap on top of crap.

[@geologick]

Poe: can repeatedly "lightspeed skip" directly into an area full of obstacles and not destroy his ship Also Poe: can't figure out how to fly a ship directly into another ship

[@BungieStudios]

Remember when large gravity wells dropped out out of hyperspace as a precaution? Remember when Hyperspace was its own dimension so you wouldn't be shredded by space debris?

[@juliendacoolien3454]

@@BungieStudios To be fair, if you're referring to the "Holdo Maneuver", Star Wars ships accelerate in normal space in order to punch themselves into the hyperspace dimension. That being said however, makes the "Lightspeed skipping" (which I think you may have actually been referring to) more nonsensical, because Poe would've just repeatedly bashed through all the obstacles on those planets way before getting into hyperspace. Like come on, it's not teleportation.

[@BungieStudios]

@@juliendacoolien3454 They do accelerate but not as fast as people might think. It's mostly optical illusion as they enter the Hyperspace dimension. Disney also seems to ignore that lightspeed isn't actually lightspeed. Else they'd be shredded by debris and dust. Lightspeed skipping also shouldn't work because they're inside a gravity well. It would trigger safety systems. A better explanation for the Holdo Maneuver, if they were smart, is something simple like: The tracker exists in a state of both real space and hyperspace. This is how it is able to track ships. When Holdo jumps, she collided with it, tearing apart her ship, dropping it out of Hyperspace, and as a consequence the debris of her ship shredded the First Order fleet. But, I don't need to write the story Disney-Lucasfilm. Their writers are paid bokubucks for the multimillion dollar films. I'm not.

[@michaelp4387]

no no no, it's actually a frame-perfect glitch that can only be done by the greatest speedrunner of the galaxy -- Holdo

[@harrisonpilon]

the fans: why was the sequel trilogy so bad? maz canata: “a good question…for another time.”

[@james8518]

And to also say... But, I do have candy in my pouch

[@jameskardys3452]

Good question… for another trilogy.

[@jamiemadrox8558]

As soon as you said Pablo Hidalgo wrote it, it all made sense to me that this book is ridiculous. The guy is a known defender of this garbage trilogy. Not to mention he is a bad writer.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Yes, Pablo Hidalgo already proved himself to be a jackass, so point and laugh at this fool's lousy writing.

[@justajawausingwifi4642]

@@jamiebraswell5520 you could tell Hidalgo was an ass from the behind the scenes segments on the Rebels DVD releases

[@Deuteromis]

He's the fucktard who said the reason why Disney scrapped the EU was because it would be too hard to adapt the stories to film.

[@alfonsopayan09]

JamieMadrox85 sad cous I was passing a lot of stuff and having a tunnel vision of buying it just of curiosity to see how bad it is but if it’s written already added by a shit writer than naaa im good

[@popo0129]

@@Deuteromis That is the stupidest thing I ever heard lmao. They can just make their own new trilogy like maybe 1000 years after the EU content and go on there. Wasn't it a thing where they said they also had no source material to use for movies?

[@tiredoffools8929]

DISNEY: "The Holdo Maneuver" is one in a million. ME: Couldn't this be done on auto pilot or by a droid with precise calculations?

[@IgnisRex64]

Bingo. Droids are said in other Star Wars media, including Disney, that droids are more precise than any human could be. Just program the data into a bunch of droids, fly em into shit. If it's "risky" still, maybe it'll get destroyed by the target, just snd a bunch in X wings. Some will make it through, and X wings are cheap.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

only if you program them to do it. and, according to this book, it is ILLEGAL to do so. you dont want the space cops to come and give you a hard time, do you?

[@MachineMan-mj4gj]

@@kimrasmussen7188 God forbid la resistance break laws while fighting the greatest evil the galaxy has ever known since the old empire.

[@achdetoni5008]

Yep, better don't do that while the new order commits genocide by destroying planets left and right. Totally legal I'm sure.

[@abudgie6909]

kim rasmussen do you think violent revolutionaries give a shit about the laws that a totalitarian empire made? Lmao

[@sandreid87]

If "The Haldo Maneuver" really was a "One in a million"-shot, then imagine this scenario: Holdo flies towards the Supremacy, and activates the hyperspace-drive. And In 999.999 out of 1.000.000 scenarios, she just flies right past it, ends up no one knows where, but only in that ONE scenario, she destroys it. It's almost as if.... She was just trying to ESCAPE, if the outcome of her action in literally 99.9999% of the time, was going to result in her just escaping, then why would she bet on that last 0.00001% chance? It makes no sense! As far as Im concerned, there was nothing noble about her action - She was just being a coward, trying to escape lol.

[@Full_Throttle_Axolotl]

Doesn't she straight up say "You left the fate of the Resistance up to bad odds?" to Poe as a criticism of his character? So she's either a coward and a traitor, or an idiot and a hypocrite.

[@papaAJ88]

Do we need to pick just one? I think all four of those qualities describe her well!

[@Everythingis22]

Her smugness is even more ridiculous when her “plan” was literally a million to one shot. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell anyone. So dumb

[@robirvine6970]

Yes. I saw the video that came up with this idea as well. Don't pretend you thought of it. Also, it doesn't work because the fuel runs out after one jump and she would be caught.

[@sandreid87]

@@robirvine6970 Ideas aren't always unique, you know - It IS possible for two different people to think of the same thing. Especially if it's a pretty obvious one - Like it this case.

[@Edmar_Fecler]

quick note regarding the "Holdo Maneuver" Everyone in the movies and the books and shit say its impossible, it was one in a million, lucky she got it right in the first place _and yet_ in the "celebration montage" at the end of RoS there was a "holdo maneuver"ed star destroyer in space over Endor, with a bunch of Ewoks watching and celebrating! They did this in the same damn movie where, just 16 hours ago apparently, they said "oh its one in a million" And above Endor, so... *_how_*_ did it happen?_ did a bunch of fucking ewoks jack a shuttle and fucking do that?!

[@elpenguinoofmexico1388]

Never underestimate the power of ewoks

[@maddoxio]

This is the Ewoks we're talking about. Those guys are nuts.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

Launch more Star Wars Kuribohs.

[@XanderMan77-np1ln]

That's what the movie should have been about. Ewoks taking out that Star Destroyer!

[@abraham2172]

I didnt know that star destroyer was holdo'ed. Fed up with the stupidity and laziness of the sequel writing, I simply assumed all evil ships conveniently exploded after the end battle.

[@michaelpellegrini4756]

So based on their explanation, if Holdo didn’t time it properly she hyperspaces past them and escapes. Since she was such an incompetent leader, I’m going to pretend she tries to escape and effed that up too blowing herself up along with all the first order ships.

[@sigma5514]

That makes way too much sense for them to ever think of that

[@hmvd22]

Well... she was the “Jar Jar” of this trilogy after all

[@jamainegardner4193]

Execute Like 66

[@emberfist8347]

@@hmvd22 Nah Jar Jar had a character arc.

[@thescreenslaver8520]

Well considering there are a number of different ways the Holdo maneuver can fail yes you have to time it correctly. Imagine you’re shooting a gun at something from long range that can shoot you back. To get a good shot you have to aim the gun at your target while timing the right moment to pull the trigger. In this case Holdo had to time jumping into light speed before the Supremacy or any of the other Star Destroyers could take their shot. Plus you the chance of missing hence the timing. This is why they say the Holdo Maneuver is a one in a million chance (much like when Luke destroyed the Death Star) because there are many variables that could mess up the maneuver.

[@exoticcarfactsofficialchan7050]

Finn: refuses to kill innocent people, defects from the First Order, rescues Poe, BB-8, Rey, and joins the resistance, tries tirelessly to protect Rey and voluntarily attempts to sacrifice his own life to save the remaining rebels - Branded as a coward by Rian Johnson,Lucasfilm and the DSW Visual dictionary. Holdo: acts sketchy for almost the entire runtime of the last jedi, tells Poe that he based the survival of the resistance on " bad odds and put us all at risk", Then attempts and pulls off a "maneuver" with only a "one in a million" chance of success (while most likely trying to escape) - Celebrated as a hero of the Resistance and immortalized in Star Wars canon ... #fuckdisneystarwars #fandommenace

[@aakarshasoka6335]

Finn has such solid potential. A Stormtrooper's POV would be really interesting.

[@thereflexboxer2ndlt550]

How was he branded a coward?

[@thereflexboxer2ndlt550]

@@aakarshasoka6335 But he was no longer a Storm trooper after the first 10 minutes so...

[@aakarshasoka6335]

@@thereflexboxer2ndlt550 Yeah, so? The fact that he was once a Stormtrooper is sufficient. He could have provided a unique insight into what the First Order was like. They could have added a layer of complex moral ambiguity to the whole trilogy, but instead dropped it to follow their own agendo.

[@thereflexboxer2ndlt550]

@@aakarshasoka6335 You forgot they are time limited. It’s not about storm troopers it’s about the skywalker family

[@SamnissArandeen]

Rey's piloting skills are even worse. They're literally "You commute to and from work on a moped? That trained you to get in Max Verstappen's car and beat his lap times by 30 seconds around every track on the calendar!"

[@grantpalmer8818]

Kind of like Vert Wheeler getting a perfect score on his drivers test and being invited to race with the best drivers in the world (although it was supposed to be his dad)

[@dreemurrprince]

Some people will try to compare it to luke, who went from flying a T-16 Skyhopper to flying an X Wing See, there’s a difference between a standard beatup landspeeder and a ship that is used to train X-Wing Pilots in the story (T16s were used for that) it just falls apart under any scrutiny

[@k-hut9344]

Wait what? How the hell is the lightsaber supposed to just get picked up by someone after falling down in cloud city? Cloud city literally floats above a GAS PLANET.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

A good question for another time.

[@LightStreak567]

I also want to remind everyone that Snoke was NEVER meant to be a clone of anyone! Not even Palpatine, he had his own identity! The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi Visual Dictionaries explicitly says that Snoke witnessed the Clone Wars and rise of the Galactic Empire from the Unknown Regions of the Star Wars galaxy back when he led a group of aliens called The Attendants, who were NOT allied with Palpatine and the Empire!

[@BungieStudios]

-Smoke- Snoke is such a stupid name. Your post reminded me. The Knights of Ren were recruited by Snoke to become the Praetorian Guards. Disney Lucasfilm retconned that too. A broken clock is more consistent than the new canon continuity of Star Wars.

[@heydavedawson]

The more I learn about Disney Star Wars the more ridiculous it gets.

[@johnchief270]

@@heydavedawson Thats why I always die a little bit whenever I see dumb dumbs defend the sequel franchise

[@Devilfish6666]

Why does that not suprise me now? Ty for the info, Disney is fucking pathetic

[@trainzactivist7245]

The price of "subverting" our expectations

[@combatking0]

Star Wars: The Forced Agenda Star Wars: The Last Time I'll Pay Di$ney For This $hite Star Wars: The Rising Number Of Unanswerable Questions

[@jamesporter571]

Honestly Rogue One and the Mandalorian are the only good things to come from Disney's Star Wars

[@DaMaster012]

The second one got a chuckle for me because that's what I did. I bought a ticket to _Ford v. Ferrari,_ then walked into the theater playing _The Rise of Palatine._ Then I went back later and bought another ticket for _Ford v. Ferrari._ _Ford v. Ferrari_ was really good, by the way. I'd recommend it... way more than I'd recommend _The Fall of Skywalker._

[@DoodleThis]

James Porter Amen

[@romanramirez7847]

James Porter I personally didn’t think Force Awakens was that bad of a movie, but I do agree that the other two ruined what potentially could have been a great story. I do agree Rouge One and The Mandalorian are fantastic though.

[@aboyandhisdogos8158]

Rouge one was the only star wars film that actually felt like star wars the force awakens was ok not great but set up for some intresting developments. Then the last jedi subverted all expectations straight in the trash. Then the rise of sheeth retconed all they could from the last jedi and made some fake deaths and everyone are best friends for no reason

[@danieldaw1778]

I think the thing that made me the most mad was Rey being able to sail. The girl who grew up on a desert planet, who had LITERALLY never even seen a body of water bigger than a kiddy pool, can masterfully sail across an ocean with 30 foot waves. To me, that was probably the most egregious thing in the movie cause it's like, really? Rey has no business sailing. But not only can she sail, she can do so over gigantic, raging waves in the middle of a storm.

[@abraham2172]

Appearently, there were also fully functional sailing simulators on that star destroyer wreck. How conveniant.

[@the-trustees]

She also knew how to swim in "The Force Aborts." 🙄

[@daverobson3084]

You're just mad because she's a STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER. Who is a master pilot, very skilled engineer, master at melee combat( even with weapons she has never used before), expert with a blaster( minutes after showing she doesn't know how to use one at all), skilled climber, brilliant gunner, skilled swimmer, expert sailor, multi lingual, amazingly powerful ( as in more than THE CHOSEN ONE) force user, despite growing up poor and abandoned on a backwater, desert planet. Okay. She's a horribly written character . Mary Sue rating=9.7( out of 10).

[@the-trustees]

@@daverobson3084 LOL! You got me at first! I thought you were uber-woke! I'm glad you ended up being a normal! 😃

[@daverobson3084]

@@the-trustees I don't know about " normal", but I can detect a badly written character when I see one.

[@christoph11987]

I almost died when Vito was searching for Palpatine and his "secret plan" in the book. And on the next side: Behind the scenes! LMAO!!!

[@auraguard0212]

"How did you survive the Death Star, Palps?" "I can't tell you." "Aww, why?" "...Operational security reasons."

[@theguybehindyou4762]

The sequels are getting meme’d for all the wrong reasons.

[@gustavoelizondo7537]

"Palps", A Literal lol right there

[@raysummer1628]

Actually in the revenge of the sith it is explained that he learned the power to come back to life from his master.

[@auxencefromont1989]

a good story for another time

[@BlazeKnight_95]

@@derryflanagan170 indeed he did, Palpatine knew that no Jedi knew nothing about Force Healing, which is what Anakin was likely looking for, hence why he kept deceiving him over and over

[@FreeOpenTruth]

Rey's response to Finn about her flying ability was literally, "I don't know. I've flown some ships, but...." So she says she HAS flown ships before. Why then doesn't the book tell us what ships??? Disney KILLED Star Wars for sure! How sad.....

[@Susanoo7108]

I remember that. With Luke and Anakin the film at least has dialogue about the type of ships they've flown and how they're similar to other new ships that they're flying in the film. There's little set up to properly back up the ability of Rei's flying.

[@Stratelier]

The similarities between Luke's T-16 and the X-Wing was actually never mentioned in the film -- nonetheless, Luke's ability to fly was established repeatedly (and by more than Luke himself) LONG before the plot required him to use it. Rey's ability to fly anything, while certainly not outside the realm of possibility, was established only on a "just in time" basis. So it is not the same.

[@jchuck1737]

Disney does not realize how fans dissect every minor detail in the movie. There are so many plot holes its a shame.

[@KneelB4Bacon]

Agreed. Also, Rey has no reason to learn how to fly ships. Her entire motivation on Jacu was waiting around for her parents to return. She's also a junk scavenger. When would she ever have the opportunity to fly a ship? It's all she can do to scavenge enough parts to buy FOOD. And yet when she encounters the Millennium Falcon, she flies it with precision and balls. And she knows how to fix it better than the ships original owner. These aren't nitpicks. The Millennium Falcon is involved in several chases and battles during this trilogy that will mean the end of the Rebellion if they fail. (Oh yeah. The first time Rey uses the gunnery chair in the Millennium Falcon, she scores a TRIPLE KILL.)

[@SteveCrafts2k]

Remember guys, if you have to use external media in order to understand any piece of lore, that's bad storytelling.

[@SchaufelPKT]

So, 999,999 times out of a million Holdo actually just flees the battle with the Resistances last ship and leaves the rest of the resistance members to be slaughtered, but in this quantum reality she just got extremely unlucky? Yes that seems more plausible.

[@davideagin5321]

In contrast, the Revenge of the Sith novelization was absolutely amazing. Added so much that the movie didn't have. For example, Anakin is so enraged at not being allowed to be a Master because Palpatine has convinced him that the Jedi Holocrons have secret knowledge about how to save people from dying. Palpatine plays Anakin to the point where Anakin becomes obsessed with becoming a Master. So Palpatine appoints him to the council, knowing full well they will allow Anakin to be there but won't make him a Master, which Palpatine knows will create an even deeper schism between Anakin and the Council. The ROTS book is SO good. If you're a Star Wars fan and you haven't read it, you're really missing out. It's been about 15 years since I read it but it's worth reading if you haven't done so.

[@dairoshnoval776]

It really is a great book, wasn't it written by the same guy who wrote the Mace Windu novel? Loved that too. Basically Apocalypse Now with Jedi

[@vr5076]

I recommend you to also read Labyrinth of Evil and Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader (both of which are Legends books). These books and the Revenge of the Sith novel form their own trilogy.

[@the-point-bearer6689]

I got the book that contains all 3 Prequel Trilogy stuff, and I'm just about being in Phantom Menace arc, so I'll let you know what i thought about it.

[@sandreid87]

It's just a shame you have to read a book, for the movies to be great, though. Imagine if the prequels were amazing on to themselves.

[@deadshot5007]

And? Rise's novelisation is also great.

[@soupycolumbo6977]

Does the space-time bending quiffufle physics also explain how the giant laser traveled faster than light yet the people on the target planet could still see it coming?

[@justiron2999]

It performed the Holdo maneuver that's how.

[@StarWarsomania]

Just Iron Good one, good one! Thanks, I needed that laugh.

[@nurinlee5974]

Kingdom Hearts magic. Star wars is Disney now after all.

[@alexlee4154]

@@nurinlee5974 Kingdom hearts makes way more sense than this bullshit

[@matiasluukkanen7718]

@@alexlee4154 Never say that. Star Wars under Disney has not yet stooped that low. Yet. Though now star wars already has time travel...

[@ServantBerserkerZero]

20:15 bruh, just because I platinum-ed the entire Ace Combat series, doesn't mean I can fly a fighter plane lmao.

[@michaelcowling9928]

I fucking love Ace Combat...except that crap game they put out back in 2011 which was hot garbage. PS...If you have a PS VR the last game had 3 bonus missions in VR flying as Garuda 1 under Sky Eye. Even if they are short missions that shit is epic. I caught myself looking out the side of the canopy while doing a barrel roll after a bombing run to watch my impacts...so fucking sweet

[@emberfist8347]

Well this is a military type flight simulator not a video game. Still it makes not sense as it should only Imperial vehicles like the TIE Fighter and its variants, and the Lambda-class Shuttle.

[@Nathan_Lennox]

@@michaelcowling9928 "Garuda 1 under SkyEye" This sentence is a sin

[@michaelcowling9928]

@@Nathan_Lennox which part?

[@Shadow25720]

"Why are we not building massiv missles with hyperdrive and launch them into the enemy ships?" "He's to dangerous to kept alive"

[@DerAnanasKing]

number 6 is literally: People are complaining that Rei is too perfect. give her some flaws in this book.

[@ChipmunkRapidsMadMan1869]

She loses control of her force powers when she gets PMS.

[@mrgreenboy644]

I mean he did throw it away, free stuff is free stuff

[@Bonko78]

*Hyperspace travel according to George:* - Hyperspace travel can take days or even longer. Mapping the journey requires careful calculation due to the high risk of failure. *Hyperspace travel according to JJ:* - It is instantaneous, like teleporting. Just pull the lever and go by the seat of your pants. *Hyperspace travel according to Rian:* - It just means going really fast though normal space and you can crash into things if you just aim at them! *The force according to George:* - A mystic power surrounding all living things. A few special individuals may learn how to eventually understand it, communicate with it and control it, given decades of dedicated training. Whether one adheres to the light side or the dark side is determined by the moral value of their actions. The prophecy of "the one who will bring balance to the force" refers to a champion of the the light side defeating the dark side. *The force according to JJ:* - It grants Marvel (TM) superpowers to some people. Once such a person opens up to the force, they will have those powers instantly granted to them, no training required. *The force according to Rian:* - Agrees with most of what JJ said, but also assumes that the force balances itself automatically. Personal choice, prophecy and continuity be damned.

[@larzguy3714]

Midichlorians '-'

[@theflashgordon193]

lmao spot on

[@1996koke]

Lightsaber battles with George: Epic duels where the adversaries use all of their abilities to win Lightsaber battles with JJ: It looks like 2 kids playing with sticks Lightsaber battles with Rian: God forbid two lightsabers even touch each other.

[@TankHunter678]

@@larzguy3714 At least when you look at it, midichlorian counts basically mean jack shit other then "this guy has a lot of force potential". Anakin had super high counts... never uses anything more powerful then force push/pull/choke, still gets his ass kicked by people with less counts but better training, then got his counts wasted by virtue of being turned more machine then man by his own actions and stupidity.

[@OWnIshiiTrolling]

Balance of the force never meant that a light guy kills all dark guys. Anakin first killed the Jedi, leaving only 2 alive (Yoda and Obi-wan), with 2 dark side dudes alive (The emperor and himself). Then, with the death of Obi-wan and Yoda, Vader had to kill the emperor and die himself to leave only Luke, who could be considered gray. There only being light side users is as far from balance as there only being dark side users.

[@handsolo1076]

Pablo Hidildo is just Kathleen Kennedy's lackey. He's just a spinner of Disney SW propaganda.

[@noted_insolence1894]

I meannnnn he has been doing this since LONG before Disney....He is just trying as a last-ditch effort to make it all fit together. But again, he knows more about star wars and the Expanded Universe than anybody alive. But he doesn't make the content just keeps tabs on it

[@theparrishshow9803]

My biggest question is how the hell does that dagger line up with the wreckage of the second Death Star? There is no way in hell that the Sith dagger perfectly lines up with literal debris.

[@lucasoheyze4597]

Yet you saw it happen with your own eyes...so yeah, it did.

[@theparrishshow9803]

@@lucasoheyze4597 I obviously meant to that it’s stupid writing

[@connormcmurphy4276]

@@theparrishshow9803 yeah it is. And it would ONLY be visible with the daggers line up from an INCREDIBLY SPECIFIC location. If ur off by 100 feet in any direction, ur fucked.

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

And who the hell is the original possessor of the dagger? What is their relationship to Palpatine or the Death Star that would make them craft such a very specific thing for a very specific reason to find a very specific place that is specifically hidden away to be nearly impossible to get to?

[@emberfist8347]

Great video man but there are few things you missed 1. Starkiller Base isn't just a death star rip-off it is an unholy combination of the Death Star, Sun Crusher, Galaxy Gun and Star Forge. 2. Starkiller Base making a planet is logistical nightmare. 3. Starkiller Base is an ice planet despite being a planet first in it's system and in a system with multiple suns.

[@dreemurrprince]

..god please make it stop, the stupidity hurts..

[@jdm90121]

Just read the Thrawn trilogy, everyone. It’s a million times better than anything Disney has ever done with Star Wars.

[@thelaughingrouge]

This!

[@jirdan4870]

Id also like to point out that even Disney Thrawn trilogy is quite good as it has more scientific explanation to more things than all other Disney star wars combined.

[@jirdan4870]

@Revan That's what I was implying. Zahn is amazing.

[@HolyknightVader999]

Also look at Dark Empire, the Dark Forces saga, and Crimson Empire for your post-ROTJ SW stories.

[@stevenbacon-cheddar9914]

1000% FACT!

[@Brospokenerd424]

Palpatine was a speeder racer in his youth. But that’s from the old canon.

[@BigBroTejano]

He was also a child... who was born... on Naboo... to a father and mother... a entire family... and now... he’s some kind of immortal Sith who’s “died many times”... what?

[@eggplantwizard64]

Well this whole series is now about the real heroes. The palpatines

[@VinzKlortho]

Old canon & Legends are like the forbidden texts as far as Disney is concerned :-/

[@comicsans1689]

They also gave him the stupid name of Sheev, which I don't ever remember seeing mentioned in the pre-Disney canon.

[@locustboy8448]

Comic Sans Really? Wow I thought I would have caught that. I grew up around the Prequel era and remember Sheev being introduced sometime then but I could definitely be wrong.

[@branflakescereal4174]

I love how for the laser explanation, they just said “spacetime bending” without giving an actual explanation of how.

[@nasher931]

How hard would it have been for Maz to say "I was with Lando when the New Republic reclaimed Bespin. It called to me from the depths of Cloud City. But even then, I knew it wasn't meant for me."

[@dariabusek3566]

>>It called to me from the depths of Cloud City.

[@garrettsattem4799]

@@dariabusek3566She could have easily just said “Oh, I found it while dumpster diving.” And it would have made way more sense.

[@operativeg9493]

Pablo is a crazy person who loves the sequels adamantly. Him and the rest of the story group pushed for a lot of the changes to canon you’re seeing.

[@jamiebraswell5520]

Yes, he has long been confirmed to be an idiot. This book just puts the final nail in his coffin.

[@larzguy3714]

@@jamiebraswell5520 the story group is the most stupid shit i've heard. Disney found some asslickers who claims they know Star Wars.

[@smolgobbo3826]

If Rey learned to fly from simulators on a STAR DESTROYER, she should only know how to fly TIE ships! Different models of ship have different buttons and handle differently, after all. Only reason Luke was so good with an X-wing in the OT is 'cause it was made by the same company that made the T-16 he had back on Tattooine and had the same cockpit.

[@tamarcanady5333]

The simulator had tons of different ships. And since there was literally nothing to do on Jakku, she flew all of them over and over and over. I can’t believe we are talking about this explained plot point when there’s so much else to rant about!

[@jonathanpascual5353]

Not to mention, according to Legends, the T-16 was often used to _TRAIN_ Rebel pilots. We’re not misogynists like others claim. We’re just far more convinced of Luke’s piloting skills than Rey’s are with a two-man _customized_ ship that she’s never touched before.

[@zyshock]

well you could also say that luke got his expert pilot skills from his father and his strong connection to the force as the son of the most powerful force user ever and of a person with more midochlorians than the most powerful force user ever instead of being the daughter of some failed clone and somebody random

[@admin.slayerenryu5217]

@@zyshock Plus the fact that Anakin is/was also the best pilot of the galaxy, so Luke, who also seemed to have a talent for piloting from a young age, could've inhereted a bit of Anakin's talent. Even Beru straight up said that he was very alike from his father.

[@ncapone87]

@@tamarcanady5333 if it's not explained in the main source material and only mentioned in supplemental material, it's bad writing

[@wizzleuno]

The thing that killed me about the rey Skywalker thing was the old lady shuffled off before rey could even answer 😂😂 even the old bag wasn't bothered about rey answering

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

And she somehow snuck up on a super duper Jedi master in an open desert without her noticing.

[@potato42142]

Still think its hilarious that the one guy suggests doing "holdo maneuvers" (which would be kamikaze mass-suicide attacks since no one thought of using autopilot or droids for it) as a valid combat strategy when they already have very limited forces and resources

[@commodus232]

One ship wiping out the better part of a fleet? 10 ships, sacrifice half, even if half of that at 2-3 ships succeed, the returns would be immense in the face of a threat that would be essentially unbeatable anyways at a glance.

[@dariabusek3566]

>>that the one guy suggests doing "holdo maneuvers"

[@kossend1]

So Maz Kanata has candy in her bag. This is the same old alien lady who lured Rey into her basement and later told Finn and Rose to go and get help from a complete stranger. Also she fantasizes over Chewie, someone less than half her age of a different species. Is...is she actually some sort of deviant/predator? She'd better be on some sort of intergalactic register.

[@BlueKatanaWarrior]

"less than half her age"? Wasn't Chewbacca like 350 years old when they met?

[@RandomClips22023]

@@BlueKatanaWarrior 254, I think

[@rawrdino7046]

She what about chewie?

[@turtleanton6539]

@@BlueKatanaWarrior she could pass as 700 in my eyes

[@ChaosZero1031]

22:05 It was a scandal that Darth Vader was Leia's father, gee I wonder what might befall Rey when it is found out that she was related to the very Emperor himself. Oh, wait nothing. Given how much of a Mary Sue she is they'd probably actually make her Empress and let her continue to 'salvage' more stuff from an established characters things.

[@kingrodney441]

Of course. Episode 10 will have some other girl ( probably a minority) come in a tear down Rey's new empire. Because from what I noticed no guy will ever beat her. She can't use her Mary Sue powers on other women

[@coltonwhite2518]

Which is bullshit. Leia was a galactic hero whose father destroyed the sith(atleast he did before Anakin was robbed of his redemption arc). For all intents and purposes she was a driving force behind the rebel alliance's leadership. Her being the new republic's first Chancellor makes just as much sense as Luke being the first Grand master of the revived jedi order. But expecting the disney canon to make sense is like expecting the movies to go thirty minutes without the story hitting some kind of plot hole or contrivance.

[@bowenorcutt78]

I refuse to even read that book solely because of that. One speech about how much she genuinely hates him because of all the horrible things he did and everything'd be fine in a halfway-sensible universe. That plot point being the main reason why the Resistance is a thing in turn makes THAT plot point even dumber by association. Better to ignore it and pretend the Republic can't openly fight the FO because of treaty BS; let them save face at least a little bit.

[@SuperNovaRider]

Wouldn't the fact that the laser goes through hyperspace actually make it even more invisible? Like the laser would disappear from normal space into hyperspace and then exit hyperspace in front of its target planet. So even neighboring planets probably wouldn't even see the beam because the beam is only visible in normal space (since obviously you cannot look into hyperspace with your naked eyes) XD

[@chazzitz-wh4ly]

If you can launch lasers through hyper space, why not try sending something else at that speed and seeing what happens? More plot holes.

[@abraham2172]

Yeah well, they space-time-bended the laser into hyperspace to destroy planets, and during that, they space-time-bended the laser out of the hyperspace so everyone could see it. While its in hyperspace heading towards the target.😅

[@Supportivechaos]

gotta love how the death star "exploded in a fiery ball of flame" yet both palpatine's spinny chair and the glass on his window were mostly undamaged. after exploding. and falling from space. then being erroded for 30 years.

[@brentc2411]

"Finn isn't a hero, he was only there for Rey." Uh, then Han isn't a hero, he only saved the princess for money.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

he came back to the death star AFTER he got the money. not for long, but he WAS THERE. HERO

[@brentc2411]

@@kimrasmussen7188 OK, But that was after saving the princes and getting his reward. That doesn't change that he only saved the princess for money.

[@brentc2411]

I didn't move a goal post, it's been in the same place, saving the princess. You guys are going all over the place with his arc and saving Luke.

[@brentc2411]

Uh, no, my original post was that he wasn't a hero when he saved the princess, it's right up there lol you salty tart.

[@brentc2411]

@Ben A Also, my "whole argument" is one sentence, not sure what you're trying to grand stand here, but fight on soldier.

[@DaMaster012]

This is actually worse than a retcon; this is what's known to TvTropes afficanados (like myself) as a "Voodoo Shark." For those of you who don't know, a voodoo shark is when a writer (sometimes not the original writer) realizes there's a plot hole in a story, so they attempt to come up with an explanation to fill in or hand-wave away the plot hole... except it turns out that the explanation is a plot hole in of itself. Sometimes, it's even a bigger plot home than the one it's attempting to cover up. This trope gets its name from the novelization of _Jaws IV: The Revenge._ The book attempted to handwave away several plot holes, like how the shark was able to travel so quickly and why it was hunting down the Brodys specifically, by saying that a voodoo curse had been placed on the shark to give it supernatural abilities and teach it the concept of revenge. It's not only dumb, but the book then never bothers to explain who put the curse on the shark, when they put it on the shark, where they put it on the shark, how they put it on the shark, or most importantly, why the Hell would anyone put a voodoo curse on the shark to make it want revenge at all. A voodoo shark can actually be a good comedic tool if used properly ("... How _did_ we get here, Krunk?" "Well, you got me. By all accounts, it doesn't make sense."), but when it appears in a story the writer(s) intend for you to take seriously, it can irrevocably shatter the audience's immersion. The appearance of a voodoo shark, especially one big enough that the entire story depends on its presence, is one of the most telltale signs of an irreparably inept story or/and a hopelessly incompetent writer(s)... and the people who released this voodoo shark into the pool are on the payroll of one of if not the largest and most unfeeling corporations on the planet, which gave them the keys to one of the (formerly) most beloved franchises in human history. God, that's depressing to think about. Alexa, play something depressing. *"Got it. Recording your private life and selling the information to corporations and shadow governments now."* I'm sorry, WHAT?! *"Got it. Playing The Smiths now."*

[@SuperJaguary]

@@zogwort1522 what the hell is all that rage over an internet term dude Like, srsly, he wrote this comment very well and you're just sticking to this one term and losing your shit over it, what the actual fuck is wrong with your brain

[@SuperJaguary]

Thanks for the comment bro,never heard of the term "Voodoo Shark" before but it makes sense... It's sad that ppl who are paid so fucking much to write could be so fucking incompetent.

[@sumdud2129]

@@zogwort1522 why ya gotta be so ruuuude?~ 🎶

[@dinotales4943]

@@zogwort1522 why is that a problem. What's wrong with tv tropes? I don't know much so I'd appreciate if you'd fill me in

[@dinotales4943]

@@zogwort1522 1. Calm down dude. 2. I have noticed stuff like this when visiting the website from time to time. Its very annoying, especially when aspiring writers, like me, just want some good writing and trope advice, and instead we see this crap. 3. Sad thing is, I still use TV tropes because I cant find a good alternative.

[@davideagin5321]

"Hey Porkins, you're about to die anyway, just go to hyperspace. You're going to hit the Death Star before you technically enter hyperspace so you're going to blow up the Death Star if you do it." *Porkins* "No I'm alright, aghhh, ahhhhhhh!"

[@hsprepper]

6:10 I bet Rey the Mary Sue could move 90 jillion planets just by thinking about it

[@jeramyh9344]

If there was a working flight simulator wouldn't her "scavenger instincts" have made her sell it for scrap?

[@u.v.s.5583]

The scavenger instincts were tamed by a feeling.

[@jamesdawson2906]

The actual answer to how maz got Luke’s lightsaber was she found it

[@olivera6743]

James Dawson well ye, how else was she going to acquire it. That’s like, how you find things..

[@traktor420]

@@olivera6743 yeah, but where did she find it? When? Why is it in a box? Who found it originally?

[@sinister_mozz__3432]

Nah she just has spares

[@traktor420]

@@halliegeary8701 yeah, but how did it get to maz? Did it not fall down the same hole Luke’s hand did?

[@bowenorcutt78]

You know, when it turned up before they didn't bother explaining it either, though at least then it was found in Palpatine's private store house so you could assume Vader managed to grab it or something.

[@squatternutbosh]

You remind me a lot of the Golden Era of JonTron humor but more refined and individualized to your own style. Bravo. I missed that type of humor.

[@aikordcz4424]

17:28 Rey is like "ah, a fine addition to my collection" * jumps off the cliff *

[@TwentyPercentDash]

Maz should have had Luke's green saber, which she attained after Luke ran off to the island. It's infinitely more plausible, and it would be much more impactful for Rey to hold it out to Luke, telling him to rejoin the fight.

[@notfreeman6809]

That moment when a brony online has better ideas for star wars than the people who are payed thousands of dollars to make films that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to finance this fucking timeline...

[@basketballgirl723]

Yeah what the hell happened to the green saber anyway? Did he toss the saber aside after he tried to murder his own nephew?

[@notfreeman6809]

@@basketballgirl723 Neither Ryan or JJ thought of that, obliviously

[@TwentyPercentDash]

@@basketballgirl723 - My assumptions is that Luke tossed it into the ocean after exiling himself and swearing to never be a Jedi again.

[@mgeiger2341]

@@TwentyPercentDash Like uncle, like nephew.

[@drogosbaggins9800]

Thumbnail: the book is worse than the movie! Me: is that even possible? Is it possible to learn this power?

[@emilioperez6888]

Not for a good writer.

[@rickymcgowen6776]

Not from George Lucas...

[@stunner9005]

Not from Disney, only with the power of High School writing class will you gain the ability to...write a better story.

[@lapplandkun9273]

@@stunner9005 I can write fanfiction better than this. That's how sad and pathetic this trilogy is

[@TeddyOG]

The Disneyside has many abilities some consider to be unnatural

[@julianmarco4185]

The Maz Kanada having Luke's lightsaber just as simply as how Nick Fury lost his eye. She could have just found it in a toilet...

[@karekarenohay4432]

My God! It's absolutely CLEAR that JJ wanted to show in Episode VII the pilot skills of Rey (and her habilities with the light saber in the final battle, or with the Jedi mind trick) as part of the "Force awakening inside her" magic. She SAYS Finn she doesn't know HOW she did what she did, and her face says the same to Han Solo after she repaired miracoluously the Falcon "bypassing the compressor", something that impressed Han. She simply didn't know what was happening inside her and THAT was scaring her, as she told Luke in Episode VIII. And Pablo Hidalgo and his team DON'T KNOW THAT?? What the... They must HATE their work at Lucasfilms!!!

[@OWnIshiiTrolling]

I like how the reason for Rey being good at anything is always that her parents had that skill. My dad used to be a surgeon, but I couldn't cleanly remove an appendix if my life depended on it. The worst example was that people were claiming that accents were hereditary. In what fucking universe are accents caused by genetics? xD

[@emberfist8347]

Agreed I was born in and still in the Southern US, but You couldn't from my lack of an accent.

[@Toletanus]

The reason is that she is a Mary Sue. That`s all. A poor written female character made upon political agenda.

[@MetaITurtle]

You can even get an accent if you move to another country over time

[@cameronpritchett7512]

That's totally on point my dad is an ass hole so therefore I'm one too. Wait a minute....

[@handleonafridge6828]

To make it worse, you tend to develop your accent from your friends, not your family.

[@shane3674]

It’s really sad when they make a book to try to make sense out of nonsense but will never admit it was just a bad idea.

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

Well, that's why newspapers were invented too, so it's not exactly new.

[@MikeTheMike-om9rv]

17:58 *General Grievous has entered chat*

[@odysseusstallings5535]

What's really funny is that at the very beginning of TLJ Rose literally was going gaga over Finn and called him a hero until she saw he was trying to leave to find Rey

[@4u5t]

Technically Finn does say in the first movie that the only reason he tags along is to save Rey. This is a major reason why I disliked his character from the start, and more proof that Rey is a Mary Sue; also a reason I didn't like Force Awakens in general.

[@Susanoo7108]

@Nintendo Challenger X you've shown greater wisdom than any force user in the Disney trilogy lol

[@lpshorselegends2512]

I hate it to but it’s better then the last Jedi and the rise of Skywalker

[@shadesinsertlastname1631]

so finn is a simp

[@4u5t]

@@shadesinsertlastname1631 Exactly.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

i actually liked that twist, it was so realistic. she is proly the first hot girl he has seen, and his training doesnt give him many other options to interact with her. looks like there was some trial versions with IR romance, but it apparantly failed at the screenings

[@alexhayden219]

Don't feel bad for Hidalgo. He's definitely a big part of the current Star Wars problem. He needs to go as much as KK does.

[@silurianking716]

Isn't he behind like 75% of the lore, and a lot of the concept art?

[@alexhayden219]

@@silurianking716 no

[@SuperNovaRider]

Wow, so Luke's Lightsaber fell from up in Cloud City all the way, miles down to the surface of Bespin ... and remained intact. That's some solid construction. :D

[@manicpixiefangirl4189]

Remember when Battlefield Earth had cavemen flying fighter jets and everyone agreed that was stupid? Apparently absolutely no one at Lucasfilm got that little memo.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

many similarities between the new order and the aliens in that one too. cant even remember the name of their race now

[@emberfist8347]

@@kimrasmussen7188 Pychlos. I would also remind you that the real military lasted only 20 against the them.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

@@emberfist8347 realistically, they would never had made it out of their own atmosphere, let alone have teleporters. they were as stupid, as cartoon villains, and their "social" system was hostile to EVERYONE

[@RadishDoctor]

I just like the entire "The Last Jedi" the resistance fleet is complaining about space fuel; but jumping to Hyperspace doesn't require space fuel?

[@HyperSonicX]

Well thanks to Solo we know hyperdrives require a different type of fuel, coaxium. I believe rhydonium is the accepted sub-light ship fuel since Clone Wars.

[@girl-xk2db]

@@HyperSonicX I think coaxium is just the easiest and most efficient to convert into hypermatter, which is what hyperdrives use as fuel

[@darwinxavier3516]

@@HyperSonicX Coaxium was very clearly an after the fact retcon to say "SEE, SEE, there's justification for fuel being a concern!" Just like how the hyperspace accident in High Republic is trying to justify the Holdo maneuver.

[@HyperSonicX]

@@darwinxavier3516 Well at the same time I was never under the impression that hyperspace fuel was the problem, it was the sub-light fuel.

[@quazar5017]

In the crossection book vehicles do need fuel but it was never specified how much and what. Like a seperatist ship and one speeder car used radioactive fuel, others used ion fuels or hypermatter.

[@craycejedi]

They really are making it up as they go. This is sad. How hard is it to do a little research into the story you're trying to make a movie from?

[@dustin1931]

They don't even watch their own movies.

[@alightinthedarkages9494]

If one is a lazy dlpshlt when creating material in a well and long established fictional universe, one doesn't put in the time required to respect the work of others and THINK HARD about aspects of what they're writing, as addendum to said established material. This isn't merely laziness however. It's piss poor planning attributed to greed (Disney's rushed timeframe), stupidity, and lack of respect for the traditions and works of others. These people don't give a SH1T about Star Wars. From Kathleen Palpatine to Jar Jar Hebrewz to especially petulant little twit Roundhead Rianne Has-No-Johnson, they are all moronic selfish prideful greedy nihilists plunging into the gaping maw of Hell at Mach speed.

[@thescreenslaver8520]

19:36 That’s actually true. In the Star Wars book Before the Awakening it says that Rey learned how to fly using simulators and piloting star ships but never left the planet waiting for her family to return.

[@thescreenslaver8520]

“The books f*cking matter.” -Th3Birdman

[@IndianBrah]

It's a sad day when Disney puts a blaster to the side of nerds heads and hands them a pencil and paper and goes: FIX THIS!!!

[@samuelmiller8390]

Luke: *throws lightsaber over his shoulder* Rey: "A FINE EDITION TO MY COLLECTION!!!"

[@traktor420]

Rey is just budget general grievous

[@EclipseHedgehog]

Luke: *throws lightsaber over shoulder and walks away* Fans: *throws ticket over shoulder and walks out the theater*

[@dariabusek3566]

Rey: "A FINE addition TO MY COLLECTION!!!"

[@BungieStudios]

>returns to embodiment of hell, Tatooine >buries lightsabers in sand >assumes the name Skywalker

[@UnitSe7en]

addition* fml

[@goonmal]

the part about the knife had me crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣 literally eroding away 😂🤣🤣

[@grainman2725]

I like when they say a holdo maneuver is a 1 and a million shot even though you can destroy a star destroy by going under it and then aim upward and jump to hyperspace

[@heftyjo2893]

If Rey figured out how to get the flight sims working on the Star Destroyer, it sounds like she could have started a new business with a flight school. Then, she could have made more money to buy magic expanding bread.

[@giorgialadashvili4771]

The idea of a poor scavenger learning piloting through simulators and not utilizing it one bit is honestly one of the most insane things I have ever heard.

[@corruptangel6793]

Also, why would a Star Destroyer have a simulator for a heavily modified YT freighter? Wouldn't it just have Tie fighter simulations? Not to mention it's a freighter that has always required 2 pilots. I mean not even Han or Lando could fly the Falfon by themselves!

[@kimrasmussen7188]

@@corruptangel6793 my thoughts exactly. the falcon is so special, that there prolly are NO sim data for it, and the empire certainly wouldnt have them on a generic SD. at least ½ dozen NEW failures IN ONE EXPLANATION. get bent pisney

[@riverskipworth2657]

, And anyways she shouldnt've cared about the simulators. Her entire life was about to survive! Why would she want to learn anything when all she did was sit there and wait? She didn't want to go away, thus she needs no flight practice. And you can't just master a skill with simulators. F*cking hell, they are called simulators for a reason! They show you how it feels to fly! It's like that: I've read a lot about wars, and military, but I bet I'd not last a second in a real battle! Reading about abilities can't grant them to you.

[@Maverick180c]

Can we talk about how they use a chuckie cheese token to get into a star destroyer hanger?

[@gork4035]

Wait what!

[@ryanc5572]

Can we mention how Palpatine is supposed to have all those star destroyers built, equipped with weapons, turrets, droids, etc, while being fully staffed? That was the biggest plothole in the movie for me, haha

[@sergegordeev9426]

When I was younger (maybe 11 years old), I had an idea about missiles travelling through hyperspace and hitting their target while exiting it. Now they have made even dumber things canon.

[@Russocass]

I am just 10 minutes in and asking myself if that book is even real. We've come to a point where we just laugh because they f'ed so hard that it has become easy to just truly take all this trilogy as fanfic.

[@kimrasmussen7188]

no fans would do this . THEY HATE STAR WARS

[@frozarburst6350]

The sad thing is, the books prior to this movie and Disney as a whole were only used to expand on things we already knew, or things we didn't know but weren't required to read about. This feels like a necessity.

[@ravenwhiteduck3158]

Nah it's been a mess from the start

[@collegeman1988]

“Up until the Ewoks, everything had a charming simplicity. Now everything sucks.” - Mr. Plinkett

[@PS4sos21]

I'm literally in stitches here laughing my head of that the stupid space time bending crap hahaha

[@HolyknightVader999]

At least the old Expanded Universe explained how they got Anakin's saber-they got it from Bespin. They also got Luke's hand, which allowed Grand Admiral Thrawn's Jedi friend to make a clone of Luke.

[@SiddharthShenoy]

That is just as stupid.

[@HolyknightVader999]

@@SiddharthShenoy Not really. I mean, that's the next logical step for the Empire. You can't recruit Luke Skywalker, so you might as well clone the bastard.

[@sergeantsharkseant]

The problem Is still that that shit was on a Gas planet that means it is under so much pressure it is a lightsaber pancake

[@HolyknightVader999]

@@sergeantsharkseant I suppose so.

[@DoubleBoost23]

"Rey has scavenger instincts" Finally, we know *something* about her _character!_ Well, aside from being more talented than her grandpa despite neither of her parents training.

[@ManoredRed]

They should just have explained everything with Ghost Yoda. Lightsaber? Ghost Yoda gave it to her. Rey can pilot? Ghost Yoda taught her. The dagger originally just lead directly to the planet, Ghost Yoda altered it for shits and giggles. Ghost Yoda sabotaged Leia's senate career, all so that she would lead the resistance again. Ghost Yoda cloned Palpatine so that Rey could have a grandpa. Didn't turn out as planned.

[@majortom2325]

When you thought that star wars couldn't get any worse disney shows you a picture of baby Voldemort with adult sized legs and robotic arms and tells you its Dengar.

[@leonielson7138]

19:50 "By reactivating long-dormant flight simulators within canted, dust-encrusted Star Destroyer decks, she hones her piloting skills to a fine point, unknowingly bolstered by an innate connection to the Force." The book is saying that a person who is strong in the Force is good at video games . . . So, if you successfully play video games at their highest setting you might be Force Sensitive.

[@noted_insolence1894]

And consequently are probably actually a lot better at flying than highly-trained military pilots, even when they are in top-of-the-line, nimble starfighters, and you are in a decades-old freighter that has been sitting in the desert. Well I'm gonna get back to Battlefront 2 now for some more real life flight experience!

[@Nelkami]

I am good at Dark Souls which means I am now able to fight a giant 40 foot giant in melee combat without dying in real life

[@franklinturtleton6525]

"a good question, for another time" when in reality; "I bought it at a pawn shop" is a shorter explanation and probably would have been a nice bit of humor to interject into that scene.

[@Tyrarl]

The Leia "scandal" is so stupid too. Wouldn't they then know that Vader is Anakin? Who was a well known republic hero during the Clone Wars? And also a Jedi? Putting Luke's parentage aside, wouldn't the New Republic be concerned about Luke's new Jedi order if one of the most powerful Jedi and war generals could fall to the Sith, could that means someone like Vader could rise again (*cough* Kylo)? But nah, let's kick out the senator who led the rebellion that freed us. Idk I'm stoned maybe it makes no sense.

[@holygoldox6887]

The whole flight simulator thing was explained better in a different book that talked about what Finn, Ray, and Poe did before the events of the movie. In that book, she salvaged it from a star destroyer and repaired it at her place. Still not really a great explanation but it's better than this book's one.

[@Bopperann]

Crewmen: Sir, we can't do tha- Captain: And I want you to bend space and time so everyone in the galaxy can see it at that moment. Crewmen: Sir, is this a joke? Captain: DO IT LIVE!

[@SaiIor_Moon]

@Lachelle Lewis "Cave Johnson, here. All right space men, it's time to show those rebels or "Resistance" as they call themselves, just who's boss! I want our new weapon to be seen EVERYWHERE! So I've got the lab boys trying to bend spacetime to make it happen! That's Aperture Science at its finest, ladies and gentlemen! Fools won't know what hit'em!"

[@timeforce80]

I thought I could escape a raid shadow legends ad but I guess they got to vito. Damn them!!

[@Masada1911]

timeforce80 DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL

[@commanderzander580]

I'm happy about it, throwing some of that sweet Shadow Legends cash at Vito. KZbin screws him over all the time anyway.

[@johannesseyfried7933]

You really can't escape it. 😢

[@danielcroyle8859]

Haha I think it’s a trash game as well.

[@darklord884]

I love how half-assed the professionalism is in this book. For one, naming it the "Holdo Manouvre" is an awful attempt at reclaiming the name that disgruntled fans came up with. And second, the splitting of Anakin's lightsaber being called a "Force tug-of-war."